18 - The Red-Headed League - Part Three
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Go to patreon.com forward slash Sherlock and Co. For bonus material, early access to episodes, ad-free listening, and much more. That's patreon.com forward slash Sherlock and Co. Okay. Uh, John, I did it. Uh, do I just hit stop? Previously on Sherlock and Co. You're a thief, aren't you, Mr. Clay?

Are you familiar with Sherlock Holmes and Dr John Watson, Mr Clay? No bloody comment. The actual movie. All the actors, the talent agency, the red-headed league, Duncan Ross, his IMDB page. Everything disappeared after just two weeks. Yeah, if you were trying to get his attention, you can't appeal to his bank balance. You've got to appeal to his heart.

I guess this world means a lot to him. Next door is an investment bank. That says it all. Honestly. I mean, usually renting something out like this, that'd be what? Ten grand a month? Robbery. Yeah, daylight robbery. Too bloody right, mate. No, there's a robbery. An actual robbery going on here. Wait, hold on, hold on. Bluetech, that's, uh, thingy. That's, um, Merriweather. Amanda Merriweather. Yeah, yeah. I'm working hard with the cops and others to, uh,

indulge a particular hunch of mine yeah what's your hunch some sort of foul play I think dr. Watson this is the part where you tell our listeners that miss Amanda Merriweather is being robbed her banking firm has been infiltrated by a hostile perpetrator who's been sucking out funds harvesting data and driving her company into the dirt and if you come with me we can catch those responsible what do you say

Here. Look. Yes? Jay Bez's house. We've done this twice now. His house, yes. Miss Merriweather's investment firm Bluetech next door there. And what's this? A Thames Water notice from last week. Victorian plumbing upgrade? Just roadworks. But where's the opening in the road, Doctor? Hmm? How curious.

I don't really get what you're on about. Could you explain it for the podcast? Explain it for the podcast or explain it for you? Well, either really. Here comes an officer. Excellent response. Time Lestrade finally taking me seriously.

Sherlock Holmes? Yes? Hello, I'm Perindra. Perindra Jones from the Met. You can call me PJ. Everyone calls me PJ. You okay? Goodness, it's getting cold now, isn't it? Brrrr. What is this? Oh, it's a Fiat 500. I think... Yeah. Yeah. Fiat 500. It's my sister's. I use it for work. She's away. She's in Dubai at the moment. Lucky thing. I said to her, it's bloody freezing in here. I wanted an officer. You're not an officer. Ha ha.

Me? Goodness, no. No thanks. Sherlock, I wanted an actual strapping real-life police officer. What did Lestrade send me? Sherlock, he's from the Met. Don't be so... What's wrong with you? Who?

Push round here, innit? He's a child. I'm 22. Just graduated. 2-1. Four points off of first. Right. Congratulations. Perhaps you could go and celebrate by taking the night off. I'll call Lestrade and get someone with adequate credentials. Sherlock, would you just leave him alone? Let him do his job. You're being mean. He seems very pleasant, but he's a teenager.

Er, 22? Yes, fine. Well, he is not an officer anyway. Yes, he is. No, he isn't. He is. He ain't, honestly. Oh. See? I'm from the Met Police IT department. Well, I do a bit of IT, but some of the other bits and pieces is more, what's it called, like admin and stuff. But I'm good at software and that. Got me laptop, look. No tactical pursuit training, no containment training. But you've got a laptop. Hurrah. Hurrah.

Phew! Really cold, innit? Oh God, I know. Really biting, isn't it? I said to Sherlock, I said, I feel like the heating is on all day at the moment. That's not cheap. No, it is not. No.

God, I was looking at those electric heaters on Amazon. John Clay. Sorry? Bluetech competitors. This one here. Clay International. Headed up by Mr John Clay OBE. OK, right. Yeah. I've heard of him. I think he tried to buy Liverpool a few years back. Forrest, wasn't it? Really? I thought it was Liverpool. Oh, yeah.

Oh. Jacqueline Oh. The screenwriter. The made-up screenwriter for the made-up movie. It's an anagram. Jacqueline Oh John Clay. Oh, God, you are brilliant, mate. You should go on Countdown, you know. You really should. Bloody hell, who's this? James Bond?

I couldn't wait. I had to come see. Or Jane Bond. Escaping from the opera, don't blame you. Hi. This is Perindra Jones. Hiya, PJ. Oh, you're Amanda Merriweather. I'm PJ. We're not calling him PJ, are we, Sherlock? I follow you on Instagram. Hi, this is my...

My company's headquarters. Love it. I love these old townhouses. How many bedrooms? Do you ever just like go on the right move just to see how insane the prices are? Mad, aren't they? But you look inside and they're actually massive. Like, what, five bedrooms? Well, they're offices. Right. Yeah, of course.

Shall we pop in? Yes, let's pop in, shall we, PJ? God's sake. Stop sulking. I'm not. We are in the offices of Bluetech. It's very high-end. There's lots of leather seating and glass partitions. Loads of screens, most of them still on, glowing with...

charts, prices, and stuff. So this is just a couple of meeting rooms, then there's my office at the end of the hallway there. Some of our trading executives will use- Where's your server room? That's downstairs. How many do you have in here? Four. Five? No, there's four.

Two mains, two backups. Miss Merriweather, I hope you're better at counting your client's money than you are the servers in this rack. Yeah, there's five. What? Perhaps our cybercrime sleuth could illuminate us as to why we have an intruding server. Does anyone want a Wrigley's Extra? Peppermint, I think. I've just realised I've got some in this coat. Oh, right. Sorry, you mean me. Cybercrimes, yeah. Another server. That is weird, isn't it?

But yeah, I'm more of a software person really. Well isn't that just great? We have a case of breaking and entering. What did they take? It's not something they took. It's something they added. That computer. The elusive fifth server. Let me go check the top floor. No, Miss Meriwether. The threat comes from below.

Sherlock is currently jumping on the flooring of the... Watson, pause the narration for a moment. Head upstairs, find the electrical service panel and the isolation switch for the whole building. Wait, so... The what? The isolation? Fuse box. Find the fuse box and turn it off. No, you can't do that. Our app will go down. The site will be offline. You have no idea how to... Your app is the least of our problems. Go, Watson. Oh, God, which one of these is the bloody...

That is one, two, maybe it's the bigger one. Okay. And there we... All good? All good. Come back down. Okay. Oh, God. Oh, whoa, whoa, whoa.

Wow, it is. It is properly dark. Right. We need the gun. The what? Gun. Or gum. Why would I need gum? I don't know. What for, Sherlock? It's pitch black, mate. Okay, I'm not comfortable with this anymore. I'm calling the police. The police, apparently, are right here. Isn't that right, PJ? Ah, jeez, man. Sorry, sorry. Can't see a bloody thing. Here. No, no phone lights. We won't.

We wait in darkness. For what, Sherlock? For the bank robbers. Exciting, isn't it? Right, of course, yes. Will they be ringing the doorbell or will they just meet us out the back on the patio? Amanda Merriweather's network security team were right. There is no threat from outside the Bluetech network. No virus, no hacking. But what if the threat was coming from within the network?

How? Watson, how would you get somebody like Jabez Wilson out of their house every single day? Erm... Oh, like Zoe the actress said, appeal to his passion, to his heart. Exactly. You construct the perfect job for him. Quite difficult to do so as he's fairly wealthy. So you offer him everything he's ever wanted. Acting prowess, the glitz, the glamour, Thomas Cruise, Gemma Stones...

Who? He means... It doesn't matter. So, that was what they wanted him for. They wanted him out of his house. Every day. Every day. To the workplace. Without fail.

And I think we all know why somebody wanted Bluetech's neighbour out of the house all day. Do we? Do we all know that? They've dug through. The boy with the second class degree is correct. What? Wait, you need to explain this. Do it into the mic. No, I don't. Sherlock, I don't have a bloody clue what you're talking about.

I can't see a thing. Would you just stop being so bloody cryptic? I'm not being cryptic. I'm being very clear. You're just not paying attention. They've dug through and put in their own server. They've connected the server into Bluetech's network. Bingo. They've been stealing our money. Perhaps. But they've stolen something much more valuable. Information. Information.

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human connections. So the next time you're shopping for yourself or someone special, choose extraordinary items, handmade, handpicked, or designed by small businesses. Keep commerce human. Discover small businesses on Etsy. Can we get a light on? God damn it. I can't, I can't believe this. They've been monitoring all our research. They've preempted every decision we've made. It's John Clay. I bet everything it's that.

Piece of shit. So why have we cut the power? Well, without power, there's no connection. They'll ping the server. Ping? Yeah, it's just a signal of communication from one computer to another. And when they see the connection is broken... They'll come to fix it. Jesus. Shh! Shh!

There's someone here. No, it's next door. The lodger. The what? Your neighbor, Jabez Wilson. He has a lodger. He's letting someone in. There's two of them out there. I can hear them. Not such a perfect lodger after all. He's in on it. Shh. Wait. Look. Perindra Jones from the Met has just pointed to the floorboards.

and some sort of torchlight is visible below our feet. John Hamish Watson, will you shush? What? Don't John me. You never call me John. Well, you're being irresponsible. I'm documenting the event. You'll be documenting our demise if you're not careful. I am being careful. I didn't drag us here. You did. The floor is moving. This is insane. This...

This is not happening. Miss Merriweather, go to the fuse box upstairs, quietly. I want you to count to 90 seconds. When you hit 90, power the whole building back up. 90 seconds. 90 seconds. Watson, aim the gun here. It's a false floor. When it lifts, Vince will climb up from his tunnel. Okay, okay. Preparing to engage.

Everyone remain still. It must be power. Can you hear me? I said it must be the power. I can hear voices. We all can. Now please, please, shush. It's dark in here, like pitch black and all the servers and lights are off. Just getting into the room now. I'll go and check the fuse box upstairs. 88, 89, 90.

I think you'll find it's in working order. Jesus, fuck! I'd stay right there if I were you, Vince, mate. Wait, I said stay there. Watson, shoot him. I'm not going to shoot him. He's... God's sake. Ah, shit. Sherlock, don't. Oh, my God, he's jumped in the tunnel. I'm running. I'm running after Sherlock, who's chasing after the intruder. The tunnel has opened into next door's basement. Up here, Watson, to street level. I'm coming, I'm coming.

Ow! Ow! Ow! Oh, God, you made me drop my point. Oh, I know who you are. Shut up! Sherlock! Shut up! Sherlock, help! It's Duncan Ross, the producer. He's got a real face. Not an AI face. Ow! Don't you think... Sherlock! ...that I won't kill you, because I will. Oh!

Jesus Christ! The laptop came in handy, didn't it? Thank you, Peter. Thank you. That was the sound of a man getting hit with a laptop in the head, if you were wondering. Where are you going? To find Sherlock. Don't let that guy out of your sight. And if he tells you he's a famous movie producer, he's talking bollocks. And this is the sound.

I have a very tired 34 year old trying to run. Ah, stitch! Oh god, okay. You've added music? Yeah, so? Bit over the top, isn't it? Well, it captures the drama. What do you mean, mmm? Just an interesting creative choice, that's all. Right, go away.

Dr. Watson, get on! No! Get on the fucking bike! Oh, God. All right, all right, just ease off a bit. Right, there's Vince. And there's Sherlock. Who the hell

No, no, no, it's not your right of way! Wait! No, no, no, please slow down. Oh, God, no, no, no, no, not down the steps, not down the... Oh, God, I feel sick. Where are they going? To the river. You can't drive this down there. Why not? Because it's a walkway. It's for pedestrians. They took my money. Oh, right, so we should just run people down, shall we? Because you lost a few quid. You go.

I'll meet you at Waterloo Bridge. Whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. Just follow them on foot. Go. Go. Sherlock. Doctor, give me the gun. No. We need to shoot this man right now. I don't shoot people anymore. Hey, stop that man. Oh, bloody tourists. You're useless, all of you. Vince is heading up to the bridge. I know that, Watson. Come. Come.

Keep up! Well I am keeping up! This way! Up the steps! Where is he? What's going on? Right there. Stop. Get back! Get back!

Vince has a knife, Watson. Jesus, Vince, put the knife down. Shoot him. No, no, he didn't do anything. He robbed a bank. But... No, I... He just put a computer in a... Watson, hand me the gun. Go and get yourself a coffee or something. Somewhere where you won't hear the bang. This is not about my PTSD. We cannot let this man get away with it. No, he's just...

He is just some porn being used by some rich bloke to take money off some rich woman. He doesn't get shot for that. Okay, sorry, that's my rules. Yeah, that's the ethos that I live by. Rich people always think they can do whatever they want by running over the little guy. Well, let me tell you something. That stops today. Oh, that's the sound, um...

Oh, that's the sound of a motorbike knocking a bloke into the Thames. We should go. Yep. Probably won't be a bad episode, actually. So I was right. You're going to have to be a three-parter, I think. Three-part problem for a three-pipe problem. Sherlock, I said... I heard it.

Any news? Our friends Duncan and Vince are being questioned as we speak. So he's not dead then, Vince? Cold, wet, broken arm, but not dead, no. The Fall Guy, literally. Yes, well, if a motorbike hits you and you stand next to the railings of a bridge... No, John Clay should be the one being questioned. You know, those two just did the dirty work, but that's the world we live in. It's not the world I live in, Watson.

What does that mean? You'll see. What are you gonna- Voice note. Hi, Mr. Holmes, it's PJ. Perindro, yeah, uh, I know it's late but I've spent a bit of time on the intruding server.

Clay had a program running that was monitoring the Bluetech purchases. Is that what they call them? Stop buying? Anyway, as soon as they would execute the buy order, that's it, buy order, the software, basically a bot, would pause it and trigger a purchase on behalf of Clay International instead. Quite clever, really. Judging by his recent gains the past few months, Amanda and Bluetech wasn't his only target. We've got access to a few other potential sites, so yeah.

Great, er... great stuff. Good detectiving. Or... yep. Okie dokie, I'd better shoot off. I've got so many emails to get through and I need to get to bed because tomorrow I've got... Good lord. Well, another great day for corporate capitalism. You have dust all over you. Yeah, from the tunnel. How did... why did you... how... Why did you think something was going on with JBiz in the first place? I mean, this is, erm...

This is my way of apologising, I suppose, for not... Yeah, for not seeing much of a case here. I may not know much about these industries, Watson, but him, on the path to superstardom, that was damn near the biggest mystery I've had in months. Sure. Yeah, yeah. And, look at that. That's... Ezekiah Hopkins, the agent. Our red-headed league founder. Yes, well... Also an actor, it would seem. I work alone.

Oh, for God's sake. You get the point? Can I turn it off now? Yes. The lodger, the producer and the agent. Bunch of frauds. Yes, well...

I suspect they're not much more guilty than Jabez's supposed castmates. Just some gentlemen that took some cash from Mr Clay. Gig economy at its worst. When did you know exactly what was going on? You were mumbling about Clay when we first met, Jabez. Ha, yes. Different Clay. That would have been something though, wouldn't it? I'm on good form, but I'm not that good. Oh, Archie, no. Please get off my lap. What do you mean, different Clay?

Jabez had brick dust clinging to his jumper, as we discussed, but no chance he was doing DIY. When we visited, the same was true of Vince, the lodger, but I could see that no neighbours had any renovations that could have caused it. There was, however, a notice from Thames Water, some roadworks, in order to upgrade the old Victorian plumbing. Yeah, that was right outside his house. Yep.

Four problems, though. One, the font on the notice was Cambria. Thames Water used Verdana. Two, there was no sign of any recent works. From what I could see, the road had no new tarmac or a service trench. Three, look.

What's that? The plumbing network of that area was upgraded in 2017. Fake roadworks. Just a couple of men with a loud drill. To distract from the men with the loud drill in the basement of Mr Wilson's house and soon to be in the server room of Amanda Merriweather's firm. They had Jabez out all day working on his movie while they worked on tunnelling through his adjoining wall to Bluetech.

Vince could let them in, could clean up in time for Jabez's return, and cover any tracks. Jesus. What's the fourth problem? Four.

Victorians buried their water pipes in a protective trough made from red bricks. The bricks are red because of the red Devonshire clay they're constructed from. Mr Wilson's top had a grey clay from a brick our Georgian ancestors, who built his home, were very fond of. London brick. London brick. Made from Thames clay. The very river that caught his knife-wielding employee. Ha!

It's incredible. Incredible? Not quite. But interesting. Very much so. Interesting. Yep. The red-headed league. The acting role of a lifetime. The kind lodger. All too good to be true. All just to get a bloke out of the house all day. Then, of course, the league, the job, all disappear. Because the tunnel is complete and the server is in place. Good old-fashioned bank robbery.

Maybe not that old-fashioned. Well, the Red-Headed League have robbed me of one thing. Sleep. So, I'm off. Good night, Sherlock. Yes. Yes, it was. Well, thanks so much for listening to the Red-Headed League. That really was a... What are you doing? I'm just finishing off the episode. We're not done. What? This way. Here. The microphone. You'll need it.

Excuse me. Sorry. Yep. Sorry. Yep. Just going to squeeze past you there. Yeah, thank you. Sorry. Apologies. Move. You move as well. Out the way. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Sorry. Right. What are we... Ladies and gentlemen, welcome to the Bank of England Museum. First and foremost, I want to thank you all for coming.

And I hope, I don't want to speak too candidly here, I want to thank you for your money. Without you, the latest exhibition, Good Money, would not be possible. Now, one man in particular, I want to call up and get up here, not just for his very generous donations, but he is in fact the mind behind the Good Money exhibition and so many of its vital philanthropic causes.

Mr John Clay. Hannah, thank you so much. And thanks to all of you.

Now, I know many of you, and let's face it, I've probably bored each of you to tears at various dinner parties and functions going on about this cause. This cause. This mission to promote responsibility of wealth, not just domestically, but internationally. Not just looking into the future generations, but looking into the past.

couldn't be closer to my heart. Money inoculates us against so much of the world's ills, but it can also poison us. And what I really love about this exhibition is its clarity of mission. Its transparency on what money, our money, your money, what it really does for people.

Hands are going up. Yes, I said you'd answer a few questions. Is that all right? Goodness, the members of the press have snuck in, have they? Right, let's... This lovely young lady here. Hi, Mr Clay. Nina from the Metro. Are you being knighted? Ha! First question. Awesome. Who knows? Look, it would be an honour. But really, I'm focused on my work.

And, yes, this chap here. Martin from FT.com. What's the future for good money? Is it just a museum exhibition? No. Great question. I see it as everything. As a total education, whether that be books, TV, classes, what have you. I'll share it any way I can.

Yes, this man here. John Watson, Sherlock & Co podcast. Why did you give Duncan Ross £150,000? Why did...

I'm not sure what you mean. Right, OK, so you gave Duncan Ross £150,000. You gave an American actor, Ezekiah Hopkins, £30,000. And there's a man who's been fished out of the Thames that you gave £70,000 to. Not to mention the software developer that says you paid him to build a spyware app that steals financial information from your competitors. No, no, no, no.

Can we maybe get this gentleman out of here? He's not talking a great deal of sense. No, no, it doesn't make a lot of sense, does it? But that's how you guys work. Yeah, hiding behind complicated numbers and algorithms. Well, how about digging into the basement of a rival bank? It's a bit more straightforward when you think about it like that, isn't it? Trespassing, breaking and entering, burglary. Oh, really?

Ah, the police! Yes, this man here. He seems somewhat deranged. They're not here for him. They're here for you, Mr Clay. John Clay, you're under arrest on suspicion of fraud, cybercrimes and corruption. You do not have to say anything unless you wish to. Hey! Let go! Let me have! Will you? I... This is wrong! Ladies and gentlemen...

If you have had any affiliation with that man and your institutions have recently encountered financial difficulty, then I suggest you run a full audit of your networks.

Please enjoy the exhibition and after you placate yourselves with empty platitudes and mission statements about making the world a better place and all that bollocks, if after that your vast wealth continues to make you uncomfortable, then I suggest you hand a little cash over to the next homeless people you see. It does the world of good. Thank you kindly.

Well, good work. You too, Watson. Do you want to see the exhibition? Absolutely not. Yeah, yeah, yes, OK, mate. I'm just saying you don't play with matches. You know, this is not something I should need to tell grown-ups, all right? You did it. We did it. We all did it together. That was the adventure of the Red-Headed League.

Apologies for the first two parts. I was just whinging that there was no actual mystery and that Sherlock was distracted by a potentially boring case when actually, yeah, he may have been right. So, yeah, you know where to find me. DocJWatsonMD on X, Twitter, whatever. DocJWatsonMD at gmail.com. Don't forget to check out the brand spanking new Sherlock & Co. Members Club on Patreon, patreon.com forward slash Sherlock & Co. There will be so much stuff there, honestly. I...

is that i smell smoke oh my god he set the couch on he set the couch on fire