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Freshly made ravioli or hand-pulled ramen noodles. When you dine with Chase Sapphire Reserve, either will be amazing because it's the choice between a front row seat at the chef's table while getting a live demo of how to make ravioli or dining family style as you hear the story behind your ramen broth. This weekend, it's ravioli. Next weekend, ramen.
Find the detail that moves you with immersive dining experiences from Sapphire Reserve. Chase, make more of what's yours. Learn more at chase.com slash sapphirereserve. Cards issued by JPMorgan Chase Bank and a member FDIC. Subject to credit approval. This episode is brought to you by Amazon. Amazon has curated selections of college essentials, from dorm room hacks to internet famous finds.
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Nerds Gummy Clusters, a union of fruity sweet gummy and tangy crunchy nerds. Unleash your senses. Shop now at nerdscandy.com. Deck the halls with boughs of holly. Tra-la-la-la-la-la-la-la. Glad tidings, podsters. Pod pals. Podophiles. Oh, God, no, that sounds awful. Yep, can't think of another. It's Christmas. Boughs of holly.
What is it about? Don't know. But it's an old song, isn't it? Deck the Halls, melody from the 1600s, lyrics from 1800s. I know that because I looked it up before I sang it because I don't want to get sued. Okie dokie. Sorry, too much hot chocolate and Baileys for me today. Welcome to the adventure of the Blue Carbuncle.
What's a carbuncle? I hear you cry. Well, just listen and you'll find out. Now for the disclaimers. Warning, this adventure contains a handsome single doctor. That's a joke. Anyway...
A smidge of violence, little swearing and some wholesome Christmas warmth. So watch out for that if, I don't know, you don't like nice things. Anyway, Merry Christmas. Hope you have a good'un. And if it's a bad'un, don't worry, it's only one day. Enjoy. Oh, that is ghastly. Mulled cider? No, it's delicious, mate. Come on, it's...
Oh, Christ, might need a Guinness to... Oh, just, you know, sort of chase a... Oh. Ah, Mariana. Hey, over here. Ah, there you are. What's that? Try it. It's called mulled cider. Oh. Oh, my. It's a festive drink. Why? Well, the cider is warm and... No, no, no. Why would you make me drink this? Well, I didn't make you. Oh.
Is this a British thing? Like the shepherd's pie sandwich? Oh, for goodness sake. That's him with the shepherd's pie sandwich. Firstly, it was a cottage pie, yeah. Secondly, it was a piece of bread and butter I had with it as a side. You put the pie in the bread and ate it. Sorry, I was hungry. I didn't know it was going to cause a rift in European relations. Anyway, I have to go. Ah, your flight. Yep. Oh, well, have a great one, Mariana. Give my love...
My love to the family, yeah? We'll call you on the day. You're sweet. Enjoy your boy's trip and don't... don't drink too much malt, Orina. Please? What's that mean? It means... it means piss, doesn't it? Feliz Navidad. Did I say it right? Close enough. Come here, Master Detective. Don't stay in all day, okay? Get out, get walking and call me if you want. And John...
You call him, okay? Yeah, of course I will. Goodbye Mrs Hudson, have an excellent trip. Do you have the gifts for your family? I do. Right here. Oh, don't say it like you got them. I did get them. No, you didn't. I was in the shop. No, you were sulking in the shop. I picked them out and... Okay, I gotta go. Bye. Bye, bye, bye, bye, bye. Bye. Oh!
I CC'd you into two emails they need to be responded to, okay? Yep. And if there is a case, you need to log your hours on the spreadsheet so we know the fee. Yep. Oh, and remember, there's forms that need doing from Kent Police and they... You have to go now. Go, go, go, go. Okay, okay. Bye. Bye. Wait, what did she say about the email? Not sure. Why don't you observe anything useful? No.
My name is Dr. John Watson, once of the British Army Northumberland Fusilier Regiment, now a true crime podcaster based in central London. I don't have much experience in criminology, so this is mostly a record of how I met possibly the most brilliant and bizarre person I have ever and will ever know. Join me as I document the adventures of
of Sherlock Holmes.
You join me on December the 18th. And, as we all know, Christmas comes but once a year. My mum is off to Scotland with Charlie, who may or may not be a bloke, which we'll put to one side for now, so no wheelchair for me, but... He's back. Not the singer, please, no. And he's louder. Excuse me. Sorry, mate. Sorry. Yeah, me again. Oh!
Hiya. Yeah, hi. Merry Christmas. Yeah, Merry Christmas. Sorry, mate. This isn't the South Bank. Yeah. You know, I just... Because we live here. OK. You know, and I'm a podcaster and I'm recording and it's just... I'll keep it down, all right? Right. Yeah. Whatever. Still no case, Watson. No emails, no calls, nothing. Well, I'll murder that singer if I hang around here any longer, then you'll have a case.
What about the email Marianne forwarded? Yes. Only one of those whimsical little incidents which will happen when you have eight million human beings all jostling each other within the space of a few square miles. Amid the action and reaction of so dense a swarm of humanity, every possible combination of events may be expected to take place and many a little problem will be presented which may be striking and bizarre without being criminal. Sorry. Shh. Right. Back to packing. Anyway, John Hamish Watson is off to Deutschland.
with the boys er, boys boys boys going on a trip so yeah, no adventure I'm afraid on account of me spending Christmas in Berlin without Mr Holmes so er I just erm
I don't know what I'll do really. Maybe I'll just put out a single episode just saying Merry Christmas or whatever. So, no adventure. Don't get angry with me. Can't remember the last time I went on a lad's trip. Sherlock? Hmm? The door?
Yes. So you want to answer it? It may be a client. Bring them through, Watson. No, this is my Christmas break. Right, of course, boys trip. Well, I asked if you wanted to come. And drink large beers in Berlin with your army pals. I'm quite all right. Dankeschön. Well, should be a cracking trip. All the boys, Muggsy, Lynch, Tomo, Matt P, Matt F, Dan J, Dan E and John W. That's me. Yeah.
Sherlock. Yes, all right, I'll get it. Just remember to log your hours. Document the case as best you can, mate. Or even ask the client if they can hold off until he's gone. OK, right. Flight is in T-minus three hours. Leave now, get myself to Heathrow, then... Thanks ever so much for seeing me. Hello there. Please, come through. Hiya, mate. Hi. How are you? Dr John Watson. Peter Peterson. Hey, what a name! Huh.
I went to school with a Jim James. Ha! Excellent. This is Archie. Oh, Archie, Archie! Hello, Hugh. Archie! Very slobbery. Yeah, God, sorry. Watson, he's a Foreign Office official. He has very little time for your distractions. Done some Googling now, have we? No, he just... he does that. You're kidding. What gave me away? Sherlock. What gave him away? Oh, it's nothing, really.
You're privately educated, but not in the UK. Judging by the signet ring with that lion crest, I would say you were educated in your senior years in Singapore. Before that, Africa, but not Mediterranean Africa. Sub-Saharan. You still use mongogo oil to treat your eczema.
Before that, Central America, hence the shoes and belt, so you must still visit. Now, obviously this doesn't mean you were in the Foreign Office, but it does mean that your stepfather was. Private education is of course provided to the dependents of the diplomatic service. Central America to Central Africa to Singapore would show a level of job progression for your stepfather. Stepfather in name, but father in nature.
You have a strong attachment to him. That's his tie. Or it's a spectacular find at a charity shop. That's his watch. And there's a lanyard stuffed into your coat pocket from Westminster Retirement Home. So you've paid him a visit today, despite being in the midst of a potential foreign policy crisis. Hence why you are visiting me here. With that level of affection, you were always bound to emulate his career. It's more common than you'd think. Isn't that right, Watson? Um, yep. It is. Yep. My goodness...
It's great, isn't it? How...
How do you know he was my stepfather? Nobody would name their son Peter Peterson, Mr. Peterson. Your mother remarried and took his name. And actually, judging by your use of the word was just then, he has since adopted you. Staggering. I've... Good Lord, I have a lump in my throat and goosebumps. Crikey. Come, Mr. Peterson, sit. I'm afraid my business partner, Dr. Watson, is on... What did you call it, Doctor?
Holly Bob's with the booze brigade? No. No, I didn't. That's not something I would say. Just to be clear. Come, Mr. Peterson. Sit. Good to meet you and have a fab trip. Yeah, you too. You too. Merry Christmas. Yes, yes. Merry Christmas.
Right, listeners, again, I'm really sorry about no adventure this week. As you know, Mr Holmes, the British influence in the world is in a rather sticky spot. Sorry, yes, so I'll obviously be back in the new year with a new adventure. China remains a friend, but in some respects an adversarial one to our world order. To put in a subtle way. So thanks for listening to...
But one of significant meaning as we had planned to hand over the Blue Carbuncle. The Blue Carbuncle? A gemstone, Mr. Holmes. Immensely valuable to us. Utterly priceless to the Chinese. Discovered in the early 1800s on the banks of the Amoy. Now the Shishi River, southern China. Smuggled out of China by the British East India Company, it was purchased by the Countess of Moorcah.
...
The location of which will remain a secret. Percival Street, Farringdon. Manhole cover marked with yellow spray paint opposite the Burger King. Anyway, continue. Right, God, I'm going to miss my... I took the blue carbuncle out of its storage last week, Mr. Holmes. It was placed in a safe at the Hotel Cosmopolitan, where the Chinese delegation will stay and where the handing over ceremony will take place. The safe...
Where is it? Penthouse suite. Security? Two separate doors to enter the room, requiring a guest keycard and a management keycard. Where is it located in the suite? The safe is at the top of the additional linen closet next to the bathroom. And where, Mr. Peterson, is the blue carbuncle? Gone, Mr. Holmes. The blue carbuncle is gone. Or so we thought.
And now, you get to see why I have traveled all this way with such a frightfully large case. Forgive me, Mr. Holmes. Dr. Watson, this isn't pretty. A goose, plucked and ready to be cooked. I had to preserve the evidence, Mr. Holmes. I thought it best to bring it round how it was found. Forgive me. Mr. Peterson, are you meaning to tell me... I request that you look up the goose's rear end.
Mr Holmes. Well, if it isn't the blue carbuncle up the arse of a goose. Hello? Hey Matt, it's me. Yeah, I'm not going to make it.
Freshly made ravioli or hand-pulled ramen noodles. When you dine with Chase Sapphire Reserve, either will be amazing because it's the choice between a front row seat at the chef's table while getting a live demo of how to make ravioli or dining family style as you hear the story behind your ramen broth. This weekend, it's ravioli. Next weekend, ramen.
Find the detail that moves you with immersive dining experiences from Sapphire Reserve. Chase, make more of what's yours. Learn more at chase.com slash sapphirereserve. Cards issued by JPMorgan Chase Bank and a member of FDIC. Subject to credit approval. This episode is brought to you by Tinder. Meet cutes happen every day on Tinder, just not like they do in the movies. Hey, nice motorcycle. Do you have room for a plus one?
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This goose and this hat. Where were they recovered? Tottenham Court Road. Two nights ago. The feeling from the police is that the matter is resolved. The gemstone is returned to us, but that's not how we like to operate.
Did the woman who retrieved the goose and hat give a statement? Yes, I have that here, if you would like to give it a read. Ooh, could you read that out? For the, you know, the listeners will want the info as well. They can be a helpful bunch, kind of.
Kind of. Ah, um, well, it's... The woman in question is quite different to... Please, Mr. Peterson. Okay, um, um... This is the testament of, um... Sheena, I believe the young lady is, uh... Yep. I'm not going to do the accent or... Sure, fine. Righto, here we go. Her statement to the police...
These little bitches be running down da street like hood cranks chasing a bee on a watcher 9. For real. The Weasley ass hat man
So I think she's referring to the gentleman in the hat. Yep, Weasley Ass Hat Man was running down dat street cause he got a hot tail. Mother... goodness, apologies. Mother effer got some bald ass goose or swan over his shoulder. I be like, why this man be running like this? There ain't no nothing to be skizzin' over.
I watch him get wiped out by some big chugs like, "What?" I'm like, "Burghswa!" So, just to interject, it was determined two large gentlemen accosted the fellow with the goose.
Anyway, where was I? The hat wearing Goose Man throws back to these heavies. They be cutting and beating like no shit you ain't never known. Then some shop window go popping smash up like shards of glass alarms and sirens. You skis? And like that Thugs and Goose Man split and break, running like jailbirds.
I, um... Yeah. That's... That's the statement.
Lovely. Yes. Um, thank you, Mr Peterson. Just to summarise... Yes, please do. This young woman found the hat and the goose on Tottenham Court Road. Mm-hm. After a bit of a fight breaks out between the owner of the hat and the...
The goose, the shop window smashes and the melee and they all sprint away, I assume because of cameras, police, whatever. Exactly, yes. Mr. Peterson, in examining the blue carbuncle, it seems unchanged from the photos you provided. I see no other need for me to inspect it any further. Thanks. Thank you. Make sure you put it somewhere safe. By all means, shove it up your own arse. But I don't recommend a goose or turkey this close to Christmas. Right, yes, sir.
Very good. So she gave all this to the police? She did, yes. I believe the young lady merely presided over the scene before the police arrived. I believe the goose was cleaned and ready to be served to a family of one of the officers. Good lord. But the fella was prepping the bird with all the bits. Rosemary, sprigs of parsley. Thyme, sage. Yep. And then he felt the kabunkle in its innards. And, yeah, back to the police it came.
Then the evidence came to us. When was this? Yesterday. And that's it? The police no longer interested? They... I mean, yes, they have interest, but we have time pressures. Security threats like that with the delegation already in the country... Of course, we understand. Mr. Peterson, we accept your case. Excellent. Terrific. Thanks, guys. Thanks so much. Tell me of the Hotel Cosmopolitan.
Listen to the state of that. Good Lord, all that ridiculous riffing. Jesus. Oh, it's cold. Well, there you go. Said there was going to be no adventure. Said I was going to be out on the source with the lads. But no, bloke comes in with a goose and an ancient Chinese gemstone shoved up its backside. Of course, of course that happened.
Did I take your time? I was. I was being sarcastic. He's still singing, Watson. I know. Sherlock.
Hotel Cosmopolitan, here we come. What are you thinking, Sherlock? Peterson says that every staff member was searched the day the blue carbuncle was reported missing. Every room, every receptacle, every vehicle, every courier, delivery driver, anyone who has set foot in Hotel Cosmopolitan has been questioned and their items searched. I bet the guests loved that. They were given a complimentary dinner. That would be a punishment in some of the hotels I've used in the past.
Hey, nice Christmas tree. Oh, thanks, mate. It's plastic. Shh. It's a plastic tree. I don't approve. Lacking somewhat in festivity. Yeah, all right, Santa's Secret Service. You know, some people have plastic trees. I had a plastic tree growing up. Ugh. What do you mean?
Christmas must be done a certain way. Right, I get it. You're particular about Christmas. Christmas, Watson. The lights are a sensory delight. The fixed daily procedure of an advent calendar should be extended all year round. Then the day itself. A palpable shift in London's inhabitants gives a sense of otherworldliness. There's gifts. And unlike birthdays, there isn't the underlying threat of a surprise party. And then, to top it all off, we now have a case. A case?
Glad tidings indeed, my dear companion. Well, OK, look, if I had known you love it so much, I wouldn't have arranged a trip away. Bit of bell-end behaviour from me, actually, leaving you to yourself on Christmas Day. Bell-end, Watson. What's funny? Just hearing you say bell-end. Apologies for the immaturity there, listeners.
Right, focus, crime, mischief, thievery, blue carbuncle, missing. And this hat. Sherlock is referring to the pink beanie hat dropped in the scuffle, along with a goose, of course. Oh, did you put that in the fridge, by the way? Indeed I did. Never had goose, I don't think. It's better than it going to waste. Oh, this is our stop. I was actually planning a brief stop-off to take a closer look at this hat. Oh, where are we going?
Fine hairs. Torn fibres. You're hogging the microscope. Right, fine, fine. Hog it, yeah? I'm going to do my shout-outs. Which I want to apologise for. I now get so many of them that I just have to pick random ones. So, yeah, sorry. Sorry, sorry. But...
not sorry to the following. Paul from Melbourne. Chloe from Canada. It's a very global start today, isn't it? Shout out to Finlay and Erin in Harpenden. Less global. Who love listening to the show on their way to school every Tuesday. So that's nice, isn't it? To Daniela.
To Kayla, who listens at university. Don't know if that's in class or... Shout out to Alec in Germany and their boyfriend Charlie. Don't know the German word for shout out. Could have come and seen you both in person, but no. Gemstone in a goose. Oh, and Joff. Big shout out to Joff, who is banging the drum on Twitter. X.
Oh, hey, Stammo. Stammo's at the door. Oh, it's a Christmas miracle. Oh, here's trouble. Come here. How are you doing? Yeah, good, mate. Good. You? Oh, Christ, here it is. Thank you for listening to Sherlock and Co. Thank you so much. What is it that you're always saying? Oh, give me five stars, please. Please give me five stars. Oh, please, please. Yeah, I don't say that.
Oh, mate, it's really good, you know. I haven't done, what's it, Thorbridge, but, yeah, I've genuinely really, really enjoyed it. Well? Well, what? Have you given it five stars? No, I'm giving it one star until I get some bloody royalties from introducing you two. Yeah, well, you know, I should do a special thanks in the show notes. Yeah, oh, what about Stamford & Co., eh? Previously on Stamford & Co. Will you two please... Sorry, Sherlock.
So, what are you up to for the rest of the run up to the big day? You having much of a Christmas, mate? Well, I've got a boob job at four. Oh, come on, mate. They look great already. Ah, very good. Yeah, then I'm off to do some Christmas shopping. Ah, what are you getting me? A new microphone, from the sounds of it, eh? One, two, one, two. That's what you're doing. Pretty, please. Yep, yep. Speaking of pretty...
I like your pink hat, Sherlock. Not mine, actually. It belongs to a man in his late thirties. Alright. Bearded. He uses a microcrystalline wax, most likely a paste in his hair, fragranced with linalool. He has two cats. He drinks IPAs. He uses a fragrance that is entirely cold-pressed bergamot...
On the night he lost this hat, he had some kind of flaked pastry for his dinner. Looks like shortcrust, but salted. So most likely a savoury pie. He wears glasses, headphones, he vapes and uses beard oil. Well, good luck. You've just described every bloke in Shoreditch. Says, er...
1893 on the front there. Yes, I noticed. Thank you. Dulwich. You what? Dulwich Hamlet. That's their colours. Give me more, Watson. Dulwich Hamlet Football Club. They play in that shade of pink. The guy you described sounds like the kind of supporter. Look, Dulwich Hamlet, founded 1893. Let me just look at their fixtures. Ah!
He lost this two nights ago, right? Mm-hmm. Yeah, they played then at Haringey Bar in North London. So he ventured out to watch the football. I assume without the goose.
Yes. The statement, she said he was wearing a blue coat, right? Indeed. Right, so we'll look at Getty images. They'll have images from the game and we might be able to pick him out. Aren't football games attended by thousands? It's Haringey Borough versus Dulwich Hamlet, mate. Meaning? Meaning it's not anywhere near that. This is non-league. Semi-pro. Lucky if you get a couple of hundred in this weather. Yeah, if that. Right, here we go. Right, nope. Nope. Home fans, home fans. Wait.
Him, there. What do we reckon? Yeah, that's bloody hell. That's basically the guy you just described. Let me see. That is our man. Good work, Watson. So he'd leave the Dulwich area for Haringey. That would be an overground journey, terminating at Silver Street. Then the 114 bus...
He attends the fixture. It finishes at... 9.30ish. Leaves the ground, then a bus or walk to Bounds Green. Why Bounds Green? Because he is an hour away from being apprehended on Tottencourt Road while carrying a goose over his shoulder. Butcher. He's a butcher, of course. Why, of course? The neck, the gizzard, the innards were all still inside. The goose wasn't sealed, wasn't packaged...
It was obtained around 10pm. He attended the game and came back for the goose on his route home to East London. Right, so a butcher's near Tottenham Court Road. Breckenridge. Breckenridge Butchers. Started in East London. Six premises including this central London location. Press that. Meet the team.
There he is. And there we go. Henry Baker. Well, let's go get Mr Baker the butcher. And next we can get Mr Butcher the baker. What are you talking about? It's just a joke. Where are you going? To Breckenridge Butchers on Tottenham Court Road. A big lad, innit? What is? That pig. Yes, I suppose so. Who's buying a whole pig in central London? No.
Who's buying a whole goose? I don't think he ever intended to buy. You don't? No. I think Mr Baker, the butcher... Not confusing at all. ...had a fair bit to drink. The Christmas rush was getting away from him. He knew stocks of poultry wouldn't last long. I suspect he promised a goose, as his friends or family would be aware of his job. If he's hosting, they'd expect the best in that department. He snuck into work on his way home and took a surplus goose. Yeah, of course. Sherlock Holmes and the Adventure of the Surplus Goose.
For what it's worth, I think he probably paid for the goose. He works here. He just didn't want to take it to a football game. He was just, you know, getting his ducks in a row. Or in this case... Goose. Yeah. Very nice, Watson. But he stole it. Why? Because he ran. He ran? He got attacked on the street and didn't contact the police. He then left the goose behind. Ah, right. Yeah, he...
Hold up. What? There he is. He's coming in. Shh, shh, shh. Come this way. Don't pull me. I'm not. Just get over here. You pinched my skin. I did not pinch your skin. Ooh. Look at that. That's a lovely lump of beef. You know, lots of meat and fat on it.
Oh, here he is. Look, where have you been? Oh, mate, honestly. Oof, what happened to your eye? Bloody hell, have you got stitches? Jesus Christ, what happened? Do you want to tell him, or shall I? Sorry, what? Can I help, sir? Yes, I'd like a goose, please. Yeah, I think we've still got one in the back, actually. You don't. Yeah, we do. It's from Oak Shots. It's no problem. I'll go grab it. Honestly, you don't.
Henry, can we have a quick word? Gents, what's going on? Don't do it, Henry. Henry, what are you doing? He's running, he's running. Go, go, go. Henry, Henry, stop that man. Excuse me. Out of the way. God, it's busy. Watson, take Bailey Street. What? Go right, now. You are going to catch him, yeah? Do it. Take the mic. What? Take the bloody mic.
See you shortly. Yeah, you betcha.
Henry! Get away from me, you prick! I just want to ask you some questions. I've got a question for you, mate. Fire away! Why don't you piss off? I walked into that one, I suppose. Henry Baker, you are trapped, sir. There's nowhere to run. You're having a laugh, mate. Just try and keep up. Just try and... Get off me. There we go. Get off me right now. Nice and steady.
Get off! We just want to ask some questions. For God's sake! Mic please. There you go. Thank you, Colonel. Good work, Watson. Yeah, you too. How did you know he'd take that route? It's the one he knows. I only route back to his tube station from his work.
You must familiarise yourself a little more with your surroundings, Mr Baker. God, you are so clever, honestly. Oh, stop. No, seriously. Stop it now, Watson. You flatter me. What about you with that tackle? Positively brutish. Well, I was just like, you know...
Right in my stride. And bang, you're really connected. Down he went. It was spectacular. Oh, thanks, mate. Hurt my shoulder, though. You should put ice on that. No, no, it's OK. You'll regret it if you don't. No, no, no, stop it. I'm fine, honestly. Sure. Well, you two, shut up. MUSIC
Oh, my God.