Key Insights
Why is it important to expect big emotions in kids?
Intense kids often have big visions and lack the tools to execute them, leading to frustration and big emotions. Expecting this helps parents plan and remain calm when it happens.
How can parents validate their child's emotions without dismissing them?
Use positive intensity to acknowledge the child's frustration and effort. For example, say, 'Of course you're frustrated. You put a lot of effort into that and it didn't work the way you wanted. That's frustrating.'
What is the 'Color Me Calm' technique and how does it work?
It involves parents controlling their own emotions first by engaging in a calming activity like coloring. This sets a calm tone and can draw the child into a more relaxed state, allowing for better communication.
Why is it ineffective to use a sweet voice when trying to calm an upset child?
A sweet voice can sound condescending and make the child feel their emotions are not being taken seriously, which can escalate the situation.
How can parents use a code word to manage emotional outbursts?
A code word signals the need for a break from the conversation. It allows both the child and parent to separate, calm down, and then discuss the issue when both are more composed.
Chapters
- Expect big emotions and plan for them daily.
- Avoid being shocked or triggered by intense emotions.
- Stop doing everything for your kids and make your own needs a priority.
Shownotes Transcript
