Words You Can't Rap w/ Eso of Czarface | Your Mom's House Ep. 733
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This week on Your Mom's House. I thought you were actually saying that as a description for two women that you thought were unattractive. You mean real dogs? I don't know, talking's overrated. No one wants to hear us anyway. Amen, sister. It sounds like you're just hitting home runs today. You're like, I should try to fuck a Korean chick. I was thinking Mile High Club. Welcome. Welcome to Your Mom's House. Welcome.

Mom, Dad, I humbly suggest you save some money and shop Amazon for back to school. It's for my growth, meaning my body's growing at an alarming rate. And clothes you buy me this year will be very small very soon. Plus, the clothes I love today will be out of style tomorrow. But at least your wallet doesn't have to be my fashion victim. It's a good thing.

if you shop low prices for school at Amazon. Hopefully this is helpful. Amazon. Spend less, smile more. And

And we're back. Welcome to another episode of Your Mom's House. We're getting ready for the Haridays. The Haridays. Thanksgiving. Thanksgiving, love. I have to take my family to visit my family of origin in Florida. And I'm just mentally preparing for a few weeks from now. I know. It's such a, it's first of all, even just getting the children packed.

For a trip like that, I mean, that in and of itself, not that you've ever done that, but I'm saying like it's really a hassle. I'm a guy, okay? Oh, I know. Yeah. If you want fucking someone to help, you marry a chick. I know. Now, what I'm more concerned with is I like my anti-Thanksgiving food Thanksgivings. That's my favorite thing. But now we have to, when you go to someone else's place. You're just at their mercy. You're actually asked to what they, yeah. But just so you, if the listeners are new to us, just know that we are very anti-Fikesgiving. Yeah.

Okay. We don't like dry pussy turkey. It tastes like shit. I think getting together with people is great, but I like throwing ribeyes and lobsters on and being like, yeah, this is what I want to eat. That's how you celebrate God's bounty. Yeah. I don't want fucking cranberry sauce or whatever. Like why didn't the settlers have lobster and steak? Yeah.

They didn't have cows. Why do they have to have stuffing and turkey? What if you don't want that? Yeah, I do like the stuffing. I like Stouffer's, the box kind, the white trash kind. The high level one. Yeah, I like the shittiest of the shitty. And by the way, people do this. They say this, the same shit about like camping. You know, when you go like, they're like, well, you need to go camp. Fuck you. I don't want your mom's turkey or anyone's turkey. Turkey's gross, dude. I want a steak. You know what part of the turkey I like? What? The dark meat because it's a little juicier. It is. It's better. The tit meat is just dry.

Same thing with like on a chicken though. If you get a chicken, you get like- It's the juicy part. Yeah, a little darker. Turkey's disgusting. Yeah. Any hoodles. I'm pumped for it. But then we're at the mercy of our hosts. You're right. But bud-

You know, they're pretty good in Florida with the cooking. No, they're pretty good. No, we'll have good food. But, you know, it reminds me of what we did one time. We can't say too much because we don't want all the details to be. But we went to an event with family. I don't think anybody hates giving. No, hates giving was different. But we went to an event with family where they fed us. And all of us were like, this food sucks. And so from that event, while we were at the event, I got on the phone and made reservations at a restaurant. Yeah.

And I told people, I was like, don't tell anybody. And then we all left the event with family and went out to eat. And that was the best Thanksgiving ever. Yeah. And then that was good. You had what you wanted finally, pizza, spaghetti, chicken fingers. Yeah. But Hatesgiving is back when we were living in Silver Lake before we had kids. It was comedians, right? All our comic friends, our orphans, friends.

And then I invited my dad and he showed up two hours late, right? Because he had a date to go to. Right, right, right. Didn't my sibling, wasn't she at that? Maria was there. That was the... That was the origin. Origin of hate. Yeah. Yeah. What was she upset about? Puerto Ricans or something? I don't know. I think at the time she was upset with the Puerto Ricans. She was working with them? Yeah. Yeah.

She was, yeah, she was just, you know, not pleased. Your dad, by the way, rolled with her. He was like, I get it. My father's really, yeah, he really gets it when you don't like a group for a generalized reason. Yeah, yeah. A specific race. He's like, yeah, I've noticed that too. But my dad also has obscure hatreds. Like, he really hates gypsies. Like, I would say that gypsies are the top of his hate groups. Well, not to, I don't want to say too much, but I'm...

I'm kind of understanding of your father's feelings on that one. Well, cause you've been to Hungary and you've been to Europe. Yeah. So the gypsies are like, and I've had a roach problem in the house before. So yeah, I know exactly how he feels. But,

But for many Americans, because we don't really have gypsies here, gypsies are like the rednecks of Europe. But they're way worse because they steal, they squat. You can't sell your property if they squat on your property. There's laws to protect these parasites too. It's fucking insane. It's so weird. I'm surprised the Hungarians are as tolerant of gypsies as they are. Your dad had this funny thing too because your dad used to own...

forklift business. So like, you know, it's a very specialized thing, something most people probably don't think about. But then when you're in the business of needing one, there's only so many places you can go. So people would go to your dad's business and be like, I need a forklift. For sure. Propane or electric. You got them both. You got them both. Pallet jacks, you name it. He told us one time, he was like, I think he was like, yeah, if an Arab person...

Calls or stops in and they go, how much for this one? He goes, it's already sold. And they're like, what about this one? He's like, that one's sold too. He's like, yeah, I just, I don't do business with them. He even said it even worse. He goes, when I pick up the phone and I hear the accent, hello, hello, how are you? I just say, no, nobody here. I hang up the phone. Or they want to buy something, this is sold. It's sold. I don't even work with them. And I was like, well, why? But what if they are going to, he's like, no, they want to...

hustle and do their price thing. They want to haggle because it's a cultural thing. It's a cultural thing, yeah. And he's like, I don't do it. It's like my mom does it at Bloomingdale's. She's like, how much for this? What if I give you, I'm like, this is a fucking retail store. Yeah, you can't haggle. Same with forklifts. Like, it's pretty non-negotiable. A forklift? Well, I guess probably people are thinking, you know, a mechanical thing, almost like a car, right? They go, a car's 30. You go, what if I give you 28? And they're probably...

approaching it the same way and your dad's like no well there's a like you said it's a limited resource there's not a ton of them that and my dad's forklifts were really well working and he worked on them well you know speaking of race why don't you hit this opening clip and get into the show let's get into it yeah why not train and blast how to act

What you're saying right now is illegal. Rather than putting a responsibility on the owner of the company. No, that's what you just said is illegal. You cannot train the blacks. Why not? If you are offering training, you have to train everyone. You can't make assignments by race like that.

He's fucking amazing. Jesus. Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow. Mom Segura. Oh, go, Annie, go. Go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go, go. And me. So silly. Meow, meow.

He's my new favorite media personality of all time. Of course. You know, it feels like a character. It reminds me, like, Stephen Colbert used to do a character on Comedy Central, like a purposely ignorant kind of, you know, super right-wing guy. Yeah. The audience is in on the fact that it's a character, and this feels like it's, like, the greatest...

troll job ever, except this is 100% authentic. Right. He really is this old school. I would say old school is not quite... I mean, 1800s. And by that, I mean... Old century. Yeah. This is Victorian. But I love... Sometimes he says things and people...

but you can tell they're like, oh my God. But she right away was like, you can't fucking do that. It's like he elicits such great emotions from people. But that's the fun part of this. It's not even like...

Because imagine if, yeah, it's him getting people to be fired up. So right here he's like, let's just train the blacks. And then she's like, you cannot do that. You can't just hire people. You can't hire people because of their race, because of their gender. No, I'm not talking about the company training them. Why don't you want to switch your role rather than putting that responsibility on the company? Why not train the blacks how to work, how to act at work? Look at her. Exactly.

That is an absurd notion. All his players, hard to train them. He's fucking...

The other thing is he's never left, you know, when you have this real perspective, he's never left speechless. He always has the last comment. Yeah. Right? Because he's so grounded in what he thinks that when people present a very logical response, he always has a follow-up thing to it. And then they're the ones who are like, I don't even know how to fucking respond. Right. Well, okay. So I wish she would answer like, well, we can't just take aside the black people. Right. Well, yeah. Train them. You can't separate them by like.

Because she's speaking, she's saying the truth, which is that is an absurd notion. And then he just goes, why? Because it's hard to train him? Like, he always has the follow up. It's so great. I mean, it never. But the premise. Yeah, OK. I'm going to get into his logic. So if a woman should hit a man, shouldn't he smack her back? No. Why not? Because she's a girl. Well, she doesn't know that. But I just think that's unfair. So if a woman smack a man, what should he do?

He probably deserved it to be honest what I don't think the guy should ever hit the girl really Yeah, not even to protect himself against it. No. What is he protecting? He's a human being just as she is And they should no one should treat each other that way. Yeah violence is never the answer right? That's what I think have you ever smacked a guy?

Oh, yeah. I can tell. Yeah, you have to ask. Yeah. Whenever somebody goes, ah, that's a yes. Yeah, when you don't really know. That's a yes. That's a hard yes. You got to look up at them. Yeah. A guy tells me, I've never smacked a man. I've never smacked a man because I know they can hit you pretty hard. They can kill you. Well, you know. Men kill women. You learn some things growing up. Yeah. Don't do that. Yeah. There's people who find out the hard way. It's because her daddy never hit her. That's why. Yeah.

Sorry. It's true. Because when your dad fucking hits you, you're like, oh no. Oh, men can do that. Yeah. They're way bigger. My dad, I'll tell you what happened. The one time my dad fucking, man.

I was 15 years old. I had just come home from Lollapalooza the day before and I had done two hits of acid on my first time ever. And I'm talking, I'm young. Like I was wearing fucking retainers. I was wearing a goth velvet dress. Like I was little to be doing LSD and I came home and

So fucking tweaked out of my brain. I was up all night just like staring at the ceiling my parent My mother was just like what is happening? And that's the day she sent me to go live with my dad because they're like Christina's on drugs She's messed up. This is we need you know, dad's got to straighten you out and in the car ride home I was like, you know, fuck you. Fuck you piece of shit You're the worst dad at like I was mouth sassing off and calling him a gigolo or whatever the fuck I was calling him. I

And we parked in the garage and he just fucking, bam, backhanded me right in the mouth. Because I was talking some shit. Like, I even blocked out what the fuck I said to him. That's how traumatic. Yeah. But that's when I was like, oh, no. Oh, yeah, like, that's real. You got quiet real quick. That's what I learned. This bitch has never been backhanded by her daddy when she was 15 after doing LSD at Lollapalooza. Yeah. That's what you need to do. I mean, I get smacked a few times. That's what I'm saying. Shut the fuck up. In a way, you're actually...

You're giving some pretty sound advice right now. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. Yeah. Sometimes you need to get clocked. Well, I do think you need to learn the boundaries of reality sometimes. You do. And as a boy, you learn it, I think, earlier. Yeah. Because you're surrounded by boys, right? So you're always in this thing where you're like,

You're in school and, you know, you have like little, even if you don't get in a full out fight, you have like tussles, right? Like, like kind of like almost fights and you, and then also in sports, you know, you get like thrown by somebody and you're like, oh, like it, your brain kind of registers like, oh, there's people that are bigger and stronger than you. They can fuck you up. They can fuck you up. But girls, because we don't relate to one another physically, right?

where we're emotional torturers, I'll get inside your head and I'll fuck you up. And so, you know what I mean? Like I'll fuck with you emotionally. Right, right, right. I'll devastate your heart. That's what women do. And your mind. Exactly, yeah. But they don't, women, she's never had physical altercations. Men also witness many more fights. Yeah, you guys are crazy. You guys kill each other. Yeah, yeah, but I mean, you see a guy mouth off

And get fucking dealt with. And then your brain also goes like, oh, don't forget that can happen. You know, like that happens throughout your life. It's wild. Yeah. It's wild. And then there's still dudes who still test it. Like sometimes you're like, you're testing this boundary right now. Like in public or in bars or something. All the time. You see it all the time. You get fucking beat, dude. Sometimes you'll see something really crazy, like a really small thing.

usually alcohol is involved. Yeah. Going up to somebody much bigger and stronger and you're like, this dude's about to have his whole life rearranged. Yeah. And you'll see it. You'll see it. Sometimes the restraint is with the bigger guy will be like, you know, it's like,

Pat him on the head. That's really nice. Yeah, for sure. Back off. Stop. And then sometimes the guy's like, no, I feel like killing you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I kind of think it is important to tell women like, hey, you don't know how a dude's going to react. Like you think it's cute. Yeah, it's crazy. To hit. Like you can't do that. Some people also come up in that chaos. For sure. Of like very combative and like provoking fights. You said that word the wrong way, but that's cool. Right, right, right. Combative. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Fucking 46 years of my life I said it that way. I know. So exciting. The real lesson here, I think, for women is just like, shut the fuck up. Yeah. Seriously. No one to keep your stupid mouth shut. I don't know. Talking's overrated. No one wants to hear us anyway. You know what I mean? Amen, sister. It sounds like you're just fucking hitting home runs today. I'm into it.

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Thank you.

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So, why don't you... This guy's amazing, by the way. The Jesse? Yeah. Yeah, Jesse Lee Peterson. He's just so... He is so old school. Like, he hasn't even budged an inch in the last 100 years. No, no, no. He's literally 1800s values. Oh, shit. You have a dental update. Guys, you haven't heard this song in so long. Yeah. I have a dental update. Here it is. I'm wearing my retainer. Have you publicly disclosed this? I've mentioned it. I just haven't done, like, long...

long pieces about it, but you know. Do they know why you're wearing adult braces? I thought I mentioned why. I've mentioned it on a few podcasts. Has he talked about it here? Well, just reiterate because I think this is probably the dental update of the entire series. So this is the craziest thing that's ever happened. It's really crazy. In 2008,

seven, you were like, Hey man, you're snoring. It's fucking killing me. Like I can't sleep in the living room. Yeah. And I was, and then one time you actually played a recording of it for me. And I was like, like I really was thrown by that. So I ordered over the phone, over the, on television, they had like a commercial for stop snoring, you know, where this mouth guard. So I ordered it. I started wearing it right away. And within like a year,

I was at a dentist. I mentioned, he was like, you know, what's going on? And I was, oh, by the way, I also, I wear one of these. And they go, you know, we make custom ones. Like that's what, that's a very common practice. And it keeps your teeth from grinding and it also prevents snoring. But the way that it prevents snoring, people snore,

For different reasons. Sometimes people snore nasally. Sometimes people's tongue falls back in their throat. But the most common one is that a lower jaw opens, right? You're unconscious. You're asleep. And it obstructs the passageway. So therefore, air that's passing through, you hear the snoring, right? Because the passageway is obstructed. And so...

I also weighed like 50, 60 pounds more. So face meat pushes on throat meat, throat meat closes your air passage. So, um, yeah, yeah. I mean, if you see like a 300 pound guy for sure, he snores, you know? Yeah. So anyway, I had a custom one made, which is nice, but you know, they're made of plastic and then every few years you're like, it looks terrible. You get a new one. So I was just, this became my regular routine.

Year after year. Since 07? Yeah, since 07. And by the way, I would go to the same doctor. Hey, can I get a new one? Sure. And they're expensive. They're like 500, 600 bucks or something. But you'd be like, yeah. It became my...

My comfort, not only did it reduce snoring, which was obviously going to help you from hearing it, but you also, when you're not snoring, you're sleeping deeper. Because you're waking up all the time snoring. Yeah, you're waking up when that's happening and you're not having as deep a sleep. So I would feel more rested. And then sometimes, you know, if I forgot it at home, I mean, I would have you like, hey, overnight me this thing. Because it was my security blanket. So think about that, like 2007, all the way into like,

20, 2021, 22. And all this time I'm going to Denton. No one's saying shit. We move here. I'm seeing this dentist for the first time. I've just met her. We just moved here. Does the cleaning. Oh yeah. You know, your gums look great. And then she just casually throws out, has your bite always been like this? And I'm like, what do you mean? She's like, you know, your bite, has it always been like this? I'm like, what's wrong with my bite? She's like, you know how like your teeth kind of meet

in the middle i'm like no but i have a my god i have a slight overbite and she was like no yeah and i'm like wait what oh my god dude so terrible the quick summary is i wore that thing every night for like 15 years or whatever and i gave orthodontics i did orthodontics to myself

I moved my lower jaw forward because the apparatus... You created an underbite? ...pulled your lower jaw up. I made my jaw move and my teeth move.

That's great. So that's a great warning for anybody that's using this device. What's crazy is unless you have like a dentist like the one here who clearly along this path would have said something to me, they'll just keep selling you the thing. And so now she's like, yeah, she's like, I can't fix it. So she sent me to an orthodontist. I've never been to an orthodontist. I've never had any like aesthetic stuff done to my teeth. And then he was just like, oh, yeah, we have to move you. And then he told me, he's like, hey, we're seeing this more. Like people are coming in with this more.

So I've been wearing Nash. Cool adult braces now. Adult braces so that my jaw and teeth can move back to the position they were once in. And is it working? Yes, it is. Because I go for follow-ups and he's like, you know, they measure it in like millimeters. But he's like, it's working. Thank God. Yeah. Because that shit would just keep going and pretty soon you'd be like a bulldog. I'd be like, hey guys. You want to hear a funny joke?

That's wild, dude. That's pretty wild. What's your dental update? Well, I just want to report, it's been a year and a half since I've been for a cleaning. And I'd like to apologize for absolutely nothing. Nothing.

Because I dominated that shit. Oh, God. A pluses all around, bitch. No fucking cavities. And she was like, wow, you take really good care of your teeth. And I go, yeah, because I floss and I do electric toothbrushings. And she was like, there's not even, there wasn't even a drop of blood, babe. That's awesome. It was so good. Cool. And I was like, can I have a lollipop or something? Because I got an A plus. Yeah. And she's like, we don't give adults lollipops. And I was like, that's fucking bullshit. Is it given to kids? No.

I don't think it's for kids there. But they did give me a water canteen with like the dental practice. What about a balloon? You couldn't get a balloon? I don't wish. Yeah, I was like, I don't want a fucking canteen. I'm just going to throw this and lose it anyway in the car. But I was pretty stoked. I got to where I listened to a podcast. I listened to Jamie Lynn and Rob Eiler. Oh, you did? Not Today Pal. They're great. I L-O-L'd the whole time. It was great. They're great. Yeah, it was so fun.

It was a good time. That's well, that's great dental update. I mean, I'm pumped, dude. Yeah. You feel, you feel proud, but I fucked me up because like I have a whole morning protocol that I do. Yeah. What's your protocol? Well, that's the thing. I was never really cognizant of it until it was interrupted today and it really fucking pissed me off.

It really pisses me off. Like there's a certain series of events I have to do. What are they? So that my fucking sanity is maintained. Okay, number one, I wake up peacefully. Not through kids screaming, nobody violently waking me up. It's nice to wake up peacefully. And then within five seconds of waking up, I have to have coffee. Yeah, you're immediate to it. I can put it off for a while. No, I need to drink coffee immediately. And then I need to be in a quiet meditative state.

Okay. And by that, I mean, I look at TikTok. I see what's up. See what's up. I see what's up in the world. Catch up on the news. Catch up on the news on TikTok because that's where everything happens. And then I must, and I mean must take a shit.

the day can progress. If I don't take a shit, it's like everything is off. Interesting. And this morning, I felt rushed and I didn't take a shit. And that fucked with me the whole time. That does bother me. That's why travel days are kind of the worst. The worst thing about travel day is when your shitting gets interrupted. Well, you know something? Yeah. I wake up extra early on a travel day. Even if I get picked up at 5 a.m., I wake up 4 or 15 so I can drink coffee, shit, and go to bed.

and then go. So I'm not shitting in the airport. Yeah. I, I like my protocol is that, yeah. What is your pro? Well, I don't like to be rushed. So for me, I do like a slow wake up. So I do the thing too, where it's like, if I need to be somewhere at eight, I'm going to get up like six 30, six, four, like, you know, I'm saying here in town where it's not far, I'm going to get up hour and a half before so that I don't want to feel like, Oh my God, I got to run out the door. I like to sit around a little bit, take my time to wake up. Um,

I don't have to have coffee right away. I can wait on coffee a little while, but I just like to like, yeah, I like to slow wake up. That to me sets me straight for the day. And you know what's funny is that it took me years to realize that about you. Yeah. Because I shoot out of bed in

In a panic. Like, what's happening? I got to take care of somebody. Like, I'm already on it. And you're like, you're like a cute little sleepy bear. And you like to stretch and just kind of chill. And I'm like, this lumbering bear. You just take your fucking time. I'm always amazed at how relaxed you can be. So relaxed. So relaxed. I do. I like to wake up like that. I know. I don't like a rush of a wake up. I don't like it either. It's kind of like my most important thing. Then I like to, you know.

kind of ease my way into some sunlight, you know, daylight. But you do coffee and then you have to shit too like me or are you okay? No, I like it to happen within the next 45 minutes. A lot of times I do wake up, like I said, gradual, some sunlight and then

Coffee, breakfast, and then. Coffee. Okay. See, I can't eat breakfast unless I've shit. Ah, interesting. A lot of times breakfast is what sends me into the shit. Because what you'll do is make like runny eggs and it only 20, 30 years to learn that. No, but that can be a problem. But no, like today I just had yogurt. I just had a yogurt. That's it. Does that make you brown? Yeah. I had yogurt and a little coffee and then I went. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, because I'm totally inflexible. It's almost an OCD with me. I must brown before the day gets started. Fascinating. I cannot go into anything else before you do anything else. The top of the homepage. Click the top of the homepage. That's pretty cool. I think you'll enjoy this. The son of a co-founder of the nationally renowned Bucky's convenience store. Hey, Bucky's my favorite. Very famous here in Texas. Yes.

was arrested Tuesday in Travis County. It faces 28 separate state jail felony charges of invasive visual recordings. Mitchell Wasik, 28, was released one hour after being arrested on a $10,000 bond per charge for a total of $280,000 in the condition he not contact the complainants, according to Travis County Jail Records. A woman reported she and a few friends were visiting the lake house

with Mitchell Wasek when one friend who works cybersecurity for the Department of Defense noticed a charging port with a hidden camera plugged into the wall of their bathroom.

The group of friends left with the camera and on its micro card found dozens of videos of themselves and other people in bathrooms and bedrooms at the lake house, as well as at Mitchell Wasik's Dallas apartment. They were unaware that the recordings existed in the bathroom and the bedroom and indicated they did not consent to being recorded or photographed. According to the affidavit, a warrant was obtained to review the contents.

The Cool Guy Club.

Oh my God. Additionally, Avid David states the videos were found to have been recorded in multiple different locations dating back to 2021, which included a downtown Austin condo, a vacation home in Telluride, Colorado, both owned by his parents. According to property records, Amazon records also link purchases of spy cameras to Mitchell Wessig. I got to say, I totally get it. I think it's probably a fun thing to get involved in, although it sounds like it's against the law. Yeah.

Well, here's the deal, man. I agree. I think what's fun is watching people bang or change. But the poo-poo pee-pee part, I'm out. I'm out. Different strokes for everybody, you know? I don't think, I don't want to see people I know pooing and peeing. I don't understand why that's sexual for some people. I just don't get it. I don't get it either. I mean, browning doesn't turn me on either. Although the idea of just watching somebody brown to see how they do it does entertain me.

I mean, I would like to see that. I just don't, it doesn't arouse me. You're telling me that just out of curiosity, you would, for instance, want to see Josh Zolo Browning. Yeah. Just like, how does he sit? What is he looking at? Sure.

Really? See what comes out. Yeah. See how it looks. Oh, you want to see the actual brown in the bowl. Yeah. What are we talking about here? Just his face? Oh, because you can't see brown in the bowl with the spy cameras, can you? Who knows what you can see? Oh, yeah. Maybe they're up top and then he's looking at how much you make. That's so fucked up, man. Yeah. That's so disgusting. I think he's a cool guy. That's so gross.

I will say that this hotel I stayed at had a mirror in front of the toilet. Yeah, it's a weird choice. And I was like, I'm watching myself. Brown, yeah. It's revolting. Yeah. I look terrible sitting in my car. I mean, I don't like seeing myself brown. No, the times that I've accidentally, like the kids have opened the door and they're like, oh. Yeah. I've been like, this is the most emasculating pose. I don't like it at all. I don't want to see you browning, believe it or not. I'll talk about it all day long. Yeah. Seeing it.

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What? I heard somebody in the shower. So I turned around and it was him. The one he was cussing out? I could see him from the back. That ass was like, God damn. All right. It was like setting up. I don't know what's happening. Motherfucker like setting up in here. You know how you put that soap, that soap go down your back and it goes, you can see the soap go up. I was like, shit.

I looked out the window and she made sure there wasn't nobody else coming in to take a shower. I said, fuck this shit, man. I said, he looked back at me and I looked at him real mean like, right? You know, real serious look, right? So I said, shit, fuck it. I went over, I said, he said, yes. I said, can I get some ass?

That's what you want to show me?

I don't understand half of what this guy is fucking saying. Well, he's telling a story. I like stories. Apparently, yeah. About when he was in the shower, I believe, when he was locked up and he saw this guy's, this guy showering across, you know, the shower stall and that he was mesmerized by the guy's ass and then he went over there. Thanks, Tom. This is a cool story. It was terrible. It's not over. Why would you share that? I told you I was like, I said, cool. Yeah.

- You know, I ain't even know it can felt like it. It's good. You know, I never had none. Coming in as a child, man, got, you know what I'm saying? I'll give you this one for my baby or something.

I'm going to give this motherfucker a baby. This guy's so happy. He's like you right now. He loves this story. Rick Ross is laughing. You're like, you love this story. Well, he just said he's going to give him a baby. You know, that's how good it felt. I understand. Yeah. I got that bit. Yeah. He doesn't know how it works though. Yeah. You can't just come into someone's ass and make a baby. No, it's not where the baby's made. I understand. You can't make it but babies. Anyway, I thought it was a fun story to share. Thanks, Tom. You're welcome.

And it was in a man's head. It's still going. I don't even want to hear it. All right. Well, why don't we take a quick break? I like... I want to die. I hate it. It's just like... It's like this old toothless guy and he's telling me that he butt-fucked a guy. Like the first time he came in a guy's ass. And I don't want to know. Like I don't want to hear it. And you're loving it. I just... I can't understand. Sometimes you and I... Listen, sometimes you and I are like fudge and caramel, bro. Peanut butter and chocolate. And then some days...

What makes you laugh is like, it's my kryptonite. Like, I can't do it, dude. That was my first time. Curl me. Yeah. I'm going to fucking puke on myself. I feel sick. It feels good. I feel sick. It feels good. He's got like no teeth and stuff. Yeah. I don't even know if the other guy consented to it, you know? Oh my God. We didn't even get into that. We didn't get into that. There's no... Something tells me there's not much of a choice in this situation.

You know? It feels consensual to me. He did because he told the story as can I get some, which is asking for permission. He doesn't seem the type to, he's not. Oh, sorry. Is he in there for? Why? What? Do you guys know something I don't know? He's known as the booty warrior. Oh, this guy? Yeah. You know this guy? Yeah.

What do you mean he's known as the booty guy? He's known to have snatched a bunch of booties when he was locked up. You guys are fucking with me. Am I? How do you guys know that? He's kind of well documented. Where? Well, I mean, there's a reason he's doing interviews. This isn't just like, you know what I mean? He's a famous guy. I don't know about him. He's not on TikTok. I don't know him. He's not famous. CNN did a profile of him a couple weeks ago. Oh, shit. Yeah. Did Hoda interview him? Yeah. Once you're on Hoda, you're legit. Shit.

Subscribe to GAY. Why don't you read that right there? Can you read it? G-A-Y. Fleece. Can you read it? Fleece Johnson, infamously known as the booty warrior, due to reportedly and sexually assaulting over 157 people while in prison, was released last year and is now speaking out about his 44 years behind bars. Jesus Christ.

44 fucking years? Yeah, he got locked up when I was born. That's amazing, yeah. Well, poor guy. Wait, what did he do to get into prison is what I'm wondering. Originally sentenced to 10 years for armed robbery in 1979 at Kentucky State Penitentiary, Johnson would later be sentenced to an additional 18 years in 1987 on charges of wanton endangerment and first-degree assault.

is engaging in conduct that creates a substantial danger of serious physical injury or death to another person. In October 1990, he was charged with assault on a corrections officer four times,

which added an additional 20 years to his sentence. From 1981 to 2013, he was up for parole 13 times after serving a minimum of 20 to 50% of his sentence. However, they were denied due to his sexual crimes on inmates and officers. Wow, he's a monster, Fleece.

holy fuck, dude. Okay, he was on the show Lock Up Raw, the convict code and known as the booty warrior. A show intended for kids to make positive choices and avoid incarceration. We should show this to our sons immediately. In this prison, booty was more important than food, Johnson said on the MSNBC show. Fuck. Booty, a man's

Butt. Butt, oh yeah. They can't say butt. That's stupid. It's on Gay Magazine. It was more important than, I'm serious, booty, having some booty was more important than drinking water. Man, when I see one and he looks good to me, when I go see him, I say, hey you, come here. I say, I'm going to tell you what, I like you and I want you. We can do this the easy way or the hard way. So the choice is yours. And it was always a yes. And it was in a man's ass.

It was always a yes. Yeah. See? That's how he says it like that. It was always a yes. I didn't force myself on nobody. Yeah. Dude, and he fucked officers. Yeah. This guy, when he doesn't look aggressive to me, he seems a little skinny guy. Yeah, I think maybe it's a little different when you're locked up. I don't know. Shit. Well, that was a fun story to kind of wrap up the first half here. Why don't we take a quick break? Best of prison. Thanks, Tom. Being assholes.

But she's good. I gotta go. I feel sad. I'm gonna go cry. We'll be right back. And we are super excited to welcome to the studio, don't forget that the new album drops December 1st. It's Artificial Intelligence. It's Esso of Zarface, everybody. Woo!

Oh, look at that. You guys are the coolest. You are the coolest. You have cool artwork. Your songs are about cool shit. Even the albums that just are like instrumental. I love you guys so much. Oh, thank you. Thank you. You're just the best. We did a music video with you too. Yes. I mean, we're part of a czar face lore. We're in the czar face universe. Yeah, for sure. And somehow I tumbled into the YMH universe, which is such a blessing. I still remember the day when I woke up and, you know, you just like,

straggling around and then at some point you open your phone. Yeah. And I see all these mentions. I'm like, what the fuck is this? Everyone's like, oh shit, oh shit, you got a mention, you got a mention on the new Czarface album. I'm like, wait, what?

And I start, like, immediately, like, run through. And it's, I mean, it is, like, honestly, it's one of the coolest things that's ever happened to me. The shout out. I'm serious. I'm bizarro. Thank you. Yeah. Thank you. And I was like, this is wild. That really felt to me, like, you know, everyone has these things, like, I've made it. For me, I was like, oh, I fucking, this is the shit. No, it really, it's the coolest thing that ever happened to me. And then to make that even cooler, you guys were like, hey, can we shoot?

uh, music video with you guys. And so for people who haven't seen her or don't know, you can just go on YouTube and look up czar face bizarro. And, uh, it's, it's a fucking rad music video. It came out so good. Oh yeah. Mike Pesci. Yeah. You may, yeah, you guys, I mean, have been holding us down since that means it was, it was fucking awesome. You should have been in the video, Christina, but we, you know, what,

he said no really yeah you put the kai boss on the whole thing i was like i didn't take my gum out

And I was going to put it under this. Just throw it across the room. You know that trick like when you're at a restaurant and they give you like frozen butter packs? Yeah. And it's too cold, so you slide it under your thigh to warm it up and nobody – I don't do that. What restaurants are you eating at that use frozen? Well, this place, the Chateau. Wait, that's such a good idea. Yeah, you take that butter pack, you put it under your thigh, and you just continue the conversation. No one else knows, and they're all kind of like chiseling away through that cold butter. But you want something warm, so you use that thigh weight –

And it makes it, you know, as though they microwaved it for you. Yeah, perfect. How long do you count? Yeah, how long does it take? I usually, when I'm listening to someone speak, I'm usually counting to 100 in my head. Well, that'll do it. It's part of your autism, right? Yeah. Yeah. And I put it out and I spread it and people are like, how does that? Oh, you got one of the cold ones? Anyway. Exactly.

Exactly. So that's a trick. So I put that out to the universe. My wife's disgusted by it. Oh, this is real. That helps. Oh, it's real. It's not a... Yeah, that's pretty rad. That's a really good one. It's like the opposite of the Pajiski effect. It's like a cool Esso effect. That's what we need to come up with, our Esso effect now. Like when you have like hacks for shit. I hate the word hacks. Okay. So I think Esso effect's better. You also hate the word routine. I remember when we ate at that restaurant, I said routine. I was, you know, I was...

Calling back to one of your bits. And I might have said routine twice. And then you leaned over the table and was like, it's bit. It's a bit. It's a bit. And I felt this small. And I was like, it is a bit. It's a fucking bit. It's like your rhymes, your rap words. It's like rap versus hip hop, man. Yeah, yeah, yeah. How many albums, by the way, for Czarface now? Probably around eight. Dude. Yeah. Are you kind of amazed that it...

What I'm amazed about mostly when I think about it is that Inspect the Deck is

has more rhymes on wu-tang albums i mean on zarface albums than on wu-tang albums really i don't know because we got like 10 albums yeah or eight to ten now i forget but uh i've never actually counted it but you know deck's not on every wu-tang of course when he is he's killing it but he's not on every wu-tang track so if you did the math i just think about it sometimes but do you ever stop and think about the fact that like you basically i'm saying as a whole mate like

what you've built, like what you've made. You know, this is what you wanted to do with your life and career. Yeah. And now you're at whatever, eight albums with. Yeah. Inspect the Deck, like as your, you know, your co, your guy, right? Like you're a group. Absolutely. So you and George, obviously, but like.

But it's fucking crazy, right? It is crazy when I sit back and think about it. But I feel like we're always moving forward. Of course, yeah. And so I don't take that time to really reflect on how insane it is. Yeah. If we're doing Zarfe shows, we end the sets with Wu-Tang shows. So I'm like doing Triumph with Deck and I'm doing Cream with Deck. What? And just, I don't deserve that, but I'm here. And I just, but it's on the other hand, as my buddies say to me, like, you're the only guy, like,

My buddy John says, you're the only guy that's employed and unemployed at the same time because I just kind of have a lot of free time. Oh, right. Because we were talking about it off the mic, is if you're an entertainer or performer, you don't really have a set schedule unless you're on the road. Right. So I can do a lot of goofy shit. Right. And you have your goofy shit you like to do. I have a lot of goofy shit. Oh, he's comic books. You have your comic book place. Why is comic books got to be goofy shit? It's a little. He's into VR. He's into VR.

I don't know. That's as goofy as that, right? Oh, yeah. No, I like, I'm into VR and I've heard you drag comic book shit. I've heard, you know, heard you, Mystic Rick. I heard all this shit. You know, I just, I absorb it and it just makes me stronger. It thickens my skin. Are you a big WWE guy? WWE, WWF era, WCW, AEW. You get all of it. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, I told you, you should really go into it. I mean, I don't understand what you're waiting for. You're not going to get hurt.

Well, actually, I was about to do something with one of the big wrestling organizations. This is like a couple of years ago. And the person who was most excited to do it, the guy who reached out, who's a wrestler, he got hurt. And it kind of delayed everything. And then it just, you know, things kind of...

evolve take off from there yeah by the way when you're doing Triumph and you're doing Cream with Deck and you're supposed to hit an N word do you just lean into it you go hard what do you do?

You know, it's funny. A lot of Dex verses don't have any swears in them. Really? Yeah. But that's him. Sometimes he'll drop that word and I'm like, if there's ever a time I have free reign to do it, it's on stage with him. Yeah. And it's like a power up, but I don't. Do you have to pick another word though? Um...

What I do is I just hold the mic and I'm like, and I don't say it. But I let the mic cover my mouth so you can't see whether I'm saying it or not. So I can't be held in a court of law. Isn't that crazy? But yeah, but I'm like, ah, you know, I'm standing next to Dak and it's like. I mean, it's kind of fascinating that you're performing in a medium where the whole thing is say words and you're supposed to say these written words, but then there's a magic word.

And you have to dance around it, even though that's part of what you're supposed to be saying. Right, and it gets said quite frequently, too. Well, it comes up a lot in songs. Sometimes, yeah. The first time that I had met... And not like in comedy. We don't have to say that one. One of my favorite stories is hindered by that actual situation. Oh, tell us. Well, it's just the first time Dec introduced me to Ghostface...

I said, this guy's not going to know who I am. You know what I mean? And I was kind of nervous meeting him. And Ghost got up. He's like, yo, it's that Spider-Man. And he dropped the word. And it was the greatest I've ever felt. In your life. Because I was pitching a beat to him over the internets. We hadn't met. But I had a beat where I was sampling Spider-Man. And Ghost was going to use it. And it was going to be this thing. It never worked out. But he identified me.

as that you know what I'd love to tell that story but I can't ever finish it yeah yeah yeah appropriately I talked to him twice on the phone oh he's exactly like he is on the records and it was pretty fucking awesome yeah yeah I couldn't believe that it was happening yeah and I was like

Okay, I'll call you back sometime. Chat later. Oh, that's great. Yeah, that's great. You should have him on here, man. Oh, it'd be great. When we spoke, he was telling me about the cows eat differently in Europe and they gallop like horses. Really? Because they're on a different diet. There's no way that's true. But I fucking...

I was not going to argue with him at all. No, I was like, because I had been to Europe a few times myself, and I was like, I don't know. They seem to be standing just like they are in Nebraska or whatever. What were you in the UK? And you're like, I was in the UK. Oh, no, in Belgium. That's where they run. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I got you. No, I don't contest anything he says. For sure. I'm like, yeah, no doubt. No doubt. So it's, but it's a blessing to even be able to. You know what you have to do, right? You have to take.

that knowledge and at some point just kind of drop it into a song you know like I'm running like the cows in Europe like that kind of thing that's right that has to be a lyric yeah you know what running like the cows in Europe you know what I mean go snow what's up yeah yeah and people will be like wait what happened yeah I like that I like that what rhymes with Europe gosh that's so tricky Ray Spark the Dutch cause probably trivial yeah like

Little bits of knowledge that you pick up from conversations, those find their way into songs sometimes, right? Absolutely. Catch me at your mom's house. What up, Tom? It's a girl. It is. And here we are. Here we are. Yeah. I think sometimes even mistakes in songs...

tend to stand out if you're if you're I was talking to Danny Brown about it if you say a rap and you like the take you have but you mispronounce a word sometimes you leave it in right and that's the thing the fans remember about it and it gives it some type of style a thousand percent you know what I mean yeah mispronouncing things also sometimes you like go back and you're like that doesn't really rhyme like something doesn't rhyme but that makes that

lyrics stand out. Yes. The fact that they were like almost forcing a rhyme or just accepted that something but kept it in. Yeah, definitely. The imperfections are the best. Imperfection. Yes, the imperfections are the perfections in a way. Yeah, yeah. It happens in stand-up a lot too like where you...

Well, you'll forget something or you'll stammer through something and you'll say something almost by accident. And then that gets a huge laugh. Yeah. And you're like, oh, like the, the, my ignorance in this part, you know, or my mistake leads to the laugh. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, that's very, that's very cool. And then you, you try to reproduce it, but maybe it doesn't. Sometimes you can like take a new position. You're like, oh, I'm going to, I'm going to play this.

Like the funnier thing is to be dumber in this situation. So I'll embrace that. But sometimes, yeah, sometimes you try to embrace the way you made a mistake and then that can't be duplicated sometimes. Yeah. Like interesting, like Duncan Trussell last night, actually thank you guys for getting me into the comedy mode. I appreciate that. He had said, he was talking about somebody, he said, identified him as a master of history and the crowd laughed their asses off and then he found the word he was looking for, which was historian. Ah.

But then he kept going back and everyone kept popping for it. And I was like, is this part of a bit, bit, bit, bit? Oh, hey. By the way, what's up with that place Red Ash? Is that still open? It burned down. The irony of being called Red Elk. Yeah. I was thinking about that. But they're not like completely, like it's going to be reopened. Okay. I looked it up and it said temporarily closed. I was like, let me get to the bottom of this. Literally burned down. That place is so good. That's where we went for dinner. I was going to take you guys out to eat there tonight, but forget it. We did.

We gorged ourselves. I mean, just so you know, there's other restaurants. There is? Sweetgreen? Do you guys like Sweetgreen? The guy's like, oh, the one place that you have here is closed. I mean, there's a lot of other restaurants, man. Sweetgreen, he said. It's ridiculous. You're just going to end it there. So stupid. You pick it. Whatever. Yeah, thank you. I'm on Virgin Records now, so it's different. Oh, shit. I got that, you know, back at the Fairmont now, you know? Oh, snap. Okay.

Get that real advanced. Do you know what's so funny? I always have some of it like your lines in my head. Fuck all that. I'm against all that. Like sometimes, you know, you just have like, you're in my head a lot. Something that simple is a freestyle that I would keep. Oh. You know, like recording it. Like I'm not,

I didn't write that down. Oh. But those are the things that we're talking about. Normally, I would think, oh, fuck all that. I'm against all that. It's too easy. But then it comes out and it sticks with people. Yeah, because that's how you speak. Yeah. And that's always what's going to resonate with people. Wildlings. Wildlings. Wildlings. Absolutely, yeah. See, and that was Deck at the end of that track. And he kept saying it. And they were like, oh, let's keep that in. And that resonated with you guys. Yeah. And it was just...

So now love when it comes to like new and, and in the moment slang, do, do the, do rappers and black people have a newsletter that tells them, here's what the kids are saying. How do you keep up with all the kids slang? I think Twitter now, right? Twitter. Really? Whatever. TikTok. Yeah. Twitter's excellent. But you've lived, honestly, as somebody who your, your job is to be a wordsmith. Do you, do you, can you like,

mark in your head when certain, you're like, oh, this expression is a thing. You know what I mean? It feels like anyone can look back through life, but I feel like you would have a better perspective on it because your job is words, you know? Yeah, definitely. But there's a, I think there's a time and place for certain words where, you know, if I say something's cat, it doesn't, it might not sound as...

because that's a word my son would say. Uh-huh. And he's just turned 15. And, you know, I don't really hear it come out of his mouth, but it'll come out on a text or something. So that's interesting. So your thing is that if kids are saying it and then I say it, then I sound like a guy trying to be a kid? Yeah. I think so. Yeah. I think so. So does that mean you try to stick to the either slang that you grew up with or just that you're hearing other adults say? Um,

No, I think just slang that's in my... It depends on who you hang out with. If I go on tour with a group of kids that are like 19, I'll probably come back saying something different. Right, right, right. I tour a lot with Vinny Paz from Jedi Mantrix. Dude, yeah. So I pick up a lot of Philly slang and then bring it back to Boston throughout the year. He's incredible. Oh, he's great. He's one of the most gifted people I know. Yeah. But when you say something like...

I can't think of a good example. But for me, it's like, fuck 5-0, fuck... But now it's like, fuck 12. So 12 is the new 5-0. What? 12? What is 12? It's not new, but probably in the past decade. Do you always know the origin, though? No. You don't? No, they pop up in records. But like a gun, people talk about their pole now. It's the pole.

This is the stick. So you get the newsletter from the black guys. But stick, the stick used to be a Jimmy and the Jimmy is a dick. Oh yeah. Well, yeah. So wait, a pole is now a gun. Pole. Yeah, the pole. The 12 is the 12 is five. Oh, cops. Is it? I know. But is it the 12 or just 12? I think it's just 12. And why is it 12? You know something? I'm ashamed to tell you that I don't know. We have a black person here. Annie, do you know why it's 12?

No, I don't remember. Did you know pole, too? I was told a long time ago. I don't remember. I heard pole, yeah. Yeah, the pole and the stick. But see, you're saying it like it's second nature because you're younger than I am. For me, it's the gat. Oh, 10-12. Right, 10-12. It's a police code. Right. So I haven't heard that code because I'm a family man, seven-by-five, two kids, and a wife. It's West Coast, but you heard one time before, right? Oh, of course. One time gaffled him up. Do you know the origin of that?

So my origin of that is from MC8, CMW. But why it's said? You know why it's said? I imagine it's... Do you? Yeah. Oh, break it down. So the reason one time became slang is that... Don't get me in trouble. No, no, no, no. The reason one time became slang is that if you're in a car and you see police...

you can look at them one time before you elicit a reaction from them that would make them suspicious. In other words, it's like there's a cop over here and you can look once looking once is okay. That's why they call it the one time. But if you look more than once, then they're like, why does that person keep looking over here? You're, you're, you're,

You're eliciting the suspicion by keep looking at them. So you get the newsletter too. Well, that's, I got it. I got the book about the newsletter. I read the book. Okay. But I always thought that was a really fascinating one. Yeah, it is. And that makes a lot of sense. It's what I would have guessed.

But you articulated it far better than I could. That's what you did. Yeah, because at one time, well, you know, there's a lot of documented history of cops not really being that. No, there's not. Why are you being like that? Blue lives matter. Oh, fuck.

anyway uh yeah you know what i'm saying so once i mean you don't get a lot of chances to that's why yeah yeah and uh yeah yeah that's gonna the 12 the 10 12 thing makes sense i get that 5-0 comes from hawaii 5-0 the show yep absolutely is that right yeah god damn are you guys fucking with me no oh come on you know that i didn't know that that's how it entered the lexicon yeah yeah oh shit yeah

Well, let's see what your rap ears think of this. Raps. Here we go. Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. Ah, this is great. Here we go. I love you, baby. Ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah, ah. You were like a goddess to me. Ah.

I got struck by lightning. You can even see.

These people won't even leave me be. I had a goddess, her name was Penelope. Bars. Okay, so lyrically, maybe he can grow. But I mean, he has the right kind of cadence, right? Absolutely. It's kind of like a, I think the Patriots play that for touchdowns now. You know, it's like a new Gary Glitter celebration or goal song. You know?

Yeah. Or it's like Wolf of Wall Street where he's... Oh, yeah. Oh, right. Right. McConaughey with that. But it's packaged into kind of like a Juggalo presentation. And, you know, he looks good. Did you get your fill or you need to hear more? I just don't know. You know, I think I've had my fill, but if you guys want more, I can... I'm good. I'm yet to brown. I could go outside. Oh. Not outside, but, you know.

Now, you know that Nadav left. Yeah. He's doing his own thing now. Yeah. Here's him on his first Patreon upload. What do you think? Fire. Fire.

fire pretty cool i uh you know i think there's when i came up in making hip-hop and listening to hip-hop originally there were so many rules i felt like there were so many rules just by listening to the music growing up in it and

I think I became a prisoner of my own type of gatekeeping in a way. You know what I mean? For a long time, I was like, nah, you can't do this. You can't do that. You know, you can't say routine. You have to say bitch like that, you know? What were some of the can'ts? He's so upset with me still. I'm only kidding. He's so upset. It ruined my whole dinner. I'm trying to save you. You can't hang out with comedians and go, you're just staying in routine. You would get thrown out of the club, right, Tom? Yeah, that's fucked up.

You can't say that to Duncan. And I consider myself... Aficionado. Yeah. You are. Oh, thank you. You are. Well, my aficionado judgment on this guy is fire. Yeah, he's dope. Wow. But wait, what were some of the can'ts that you started? Because that's interesting. Well, I don't think this would be considered dope. You know what I mean? This is something that might get you thrown off the stage back in...

the 90s. You know what I'm saying? But now, I think there's an audience for any type of hip-hop. I think it speaks to the fact, and I think this goes for comedy as well, is that when something gets so big and so popular, that the genre actually has no boundaries anymore. And also because of the way that technology works, that everyone can upload either their songs or their routines, and they put them up

And you just get... No, you just like... Here's the thing. What's really good will always get the attention of the masses. Like something that's like really good. Yep. And then there's everything in between. And some people... There's somebody who's like, I love this. You know what I mean? This is my shit right here. Yeah. But it's... I mean, I get what you're saying because in...

In comedy, it's like, you know, it had like, these are the boundaries of comedy. Yeah. And now then they became like anti-comedy and you know what I mean? Like the anti-joke and there's really subversive stuff and there's super alt stuff and there's countries and there's either songs that are funny. Like,

It's just... It's massive. It speaks to the fact that... And hip-hop's like... I always remind like... When I talk to somebody who loves hip-hop today, I'm like, you know when I was like in middle school, you would go to a record store and it said rap and it was...

it was like 12 albums. And that was it. It was like Run DMC, Queen Latifah, Eric B. Rakim, you know, EPMD, like Ice Cube. And then like, that was it. That was it. That was all that was available. Yep. And then now the genre is so, so massive that there's just...

Endless amounts of it. Back then, I mean, you could count to every artist. You could. Just about, you know what I mean? And now there's a space for everything. And there's an audience for everything. For everything. And there are kids that have grown up listening to things like this that, you know, are entertained by it. Did you do the thing or did you have the temptation when you started to do really like...

X-rated songs, you know? That feels like a young man's kind of... I know some. I've gone deep in your vaults. Before... Can I just point out? There's like pre-Wife and Kids, S.O. and 7-L. And then there's a clear delineation. It's like, let's go to the cemetery and fuck some whores. You think I didn't fucking know that? Yeah.

You know something? That's funny. I'm going to blame 7L for that because he's the one that put that on the record. And yeah, that's a hit on that record. Yeah, I like it. Yeah. But yeah, so yeah, my wife writes my rhymes for me now. So everything is there, you know.

But I mean, every young guy, right? Like you're 18. Like, let's write a rhyme. Like if you're like starting out, it's like everyone's thing is like, fuck shit. You know, like wild stuff. Definitely. Definitely. I mean, you know, I came up listening to a lot of ghetto boys too short, you know, when I was listening to EPMD and public, you know, a lot of East Coast stuff. I busted a nut and killed a bitch. I hear you. So, yeah, that stuff would work its way in. And as you get older, you wonder like if you're connecting with...

the right, I don't know. Audience? Yeah, yeah. If you're really representing who you are. Right. And it kind of changes your lyrical trajectory. Sure, yeah. You know what I mean? So that's just like a part of evolving. I think so. Yeah. Plus it's easy to rhyme dick with tit and all that shit. Sure. You know? Yo, you just did it right now. Dick and tit and all that shit. It doesn't even technically rhyme. That was cool. But it does. It's like it doesn't, but it does. It's a slant rhyme, they call it.

It's always that family of tit, clit, dick. You know, it's about, you got all those little nip or nipple. So do you just have a thesaurus in your head that works like that? I think so. I think there's a lot of, I think a lot of my, the rhymes that I come with start with

the actual rhyme schemes themselves and then i'll come up with a story around it sorry say it again so so hold on you come to my mind you mean like the cadence like you have an idea of what the beat is first yeah yeah um no no you have an idea of the rhyme scheme like the the different rhymes things that rhyme like uh uh uh shane gillis painkillers or something and then you come then you come up with something like that like you know

Sakuni Azura, Tom Segura, that type of shit. And then you're like, okay, so how do I make this into a story? If you're doing braggadocio raps, if you're not coming from telling a story, a vulnerable story, that's different. Then you're trying to tell the story and find the rhyming words. But if you're coming up with a...

punchline type stuff that we grew up with. My shit is nice type of song. My shit is nice. Yeah. You know. That's a whole lane of hip hop. My shit is nice. My shit is nice. That wife. I take her home quicker than Matt Rife. Yeah. Or that type of thing. You know, like that quick thing.

reference. Slide it in there. That's cool. I have a hip-hop question for you. Yeah. This is something I've thought a lot about. I realize I haven't been able to really ask somebody, certainly not a professional, about their opinion on this. Okay. So that when hip-hop started...

It's very easy to... Because things obviously become more complicated as they evolve. Yeah. It was very easy to imitate the early day rappers. Yes. It was very much like ABC, one, two, three. That's how it started. Yes. And I was trying to think of who were the first people that it became, wow, almost difficult, in some cases, almost impossible to imitate. Yeah. And I was like, I think...

there's definitely some rhyme schemes that Tretch came up with that I was like, that's actually complicated to duplicate. And then like the one that stands out, you could say E40 on some things for sure too. That's not an easy thing to imitate. But then that Busta Rhymes took the, and ran with it of like, as far as like, okay, that's not just something you can just repeat easily. Right, right. Who do you think, or does that line up for you?

Yeah. Pitbull. Pitbull. Lil... No, I'm kidding with Pitbull. Yeah. You guys... The dog work. This is like I'm bombing at a show. No, no. I'm just asking if you agree with that sentiment. I expected you guys to fall down laughing. We just don't know if you're being serious because I don't know. What if you respect some element? Also, Pitbull speaks Spanish. That's hard for a lot of people to imitate. That's hard. Oh.

Minor flex there. Major flex. Mejor flex? Mejor, yeah. The tongue roll too. No, I would say Rakim kind of... When Rakim came out, that changed everything. Before that, I think Melly Mel set the tone, run DMC. Then Rakim came out with a real laid-back delivery. But do you think that was difficult to mimic? Yeah, I mean, there were a few people that came out sounding like him. Right. You know what I mean? Throughout the years, but...

It's difficult for me. I still can't do it. But E-40 has a way. There are people that if you can rhyme in the pocket, it's very important to some people. But there are a lot of artists that I think don't technically rhyme in the pocket that are

10 times more entertaining to me. Do you know what I mean? Sure. Like Old Dirty Bastard on Brooklyn Zoo. It's one of the finest recordings of all time. It's magic. Yeah, it's magic. The way he's saying shit. And I'm like, nobody can do it. You know, maybe a few, Wesley Willis maybe can do it. The ODB stories, I mean, I'm sure you can get, you probably know, but like the stuff that I've seen in interviews, how they're like,

you know, showing up to sessions and then, and, and also being like, we don't even, it's not like, Hey, go in there. Let's talk about this. They would just like on some case, in some cases just hit record and see what happens. And, and he would just go off on these things that were like magic moments that you captured. Absolutely. Absolutely. And that's all,

Soul, personality, and just him being him, which is some people get too technical, overthink things. I heard Pharrell tell a story about when he did a song with ODB. I forget the name of the song right now, but how he said ODB was like, what do you want me to do? And that Pharrell was like, just do your ODB shit. And then he's like, I don't know what you mean. So Pharrell did his impression of,

of okay would you be to him he was like do that yeah he's like oh okay so like he was doing him to him okay do this yeah yeah yeah i mean to get a performance that's what it was yeah okay yeah it's just one of these iconic people that yeah no you there will never be another yeah you can't just you know yeah that's true i guess in comedy you have like your sam kinnison's

Robin Williams, these people that like have some weird mental chemistry mixed with drugs and alcohol or whatever the fuck it is they're on. And you're like, dude, that combo sucks.

will only ever exist in that human meat sculpture in that particular space in time. Yeah. You know? Yeah, definitely. It's pretty wild. I wonder how much mental illness does play a part in these creative people. In fascinating personalities? Yeah. Because all the best comics are just fucking gone. Yeah. You know? But I love them. Sure. Yeah. You guys are fucking gone. Yeah. Gone. Yeah.

Fucked up. Gonzo. Everyone's pretty fucked up. Yeah. I got to get a little crazier myself, like Seal would say. You know, and then kind of push through that glass ceiling. A little crazy. Yeah. But can I tell you what I love about you actually? Yeah. By all means. Is how not crazy you are and how relatable. I always go back to, well, there's, I love the album.

Anyway, I like your song Burrito as silly as it is because everyone, there's just one lyric where you're like, I'll take the barbacoa and you're like watching some guy fucking not know how to order. Yeah. And you're like, fucking order douchebag. Like, come on, man. Just like that little moment. That minutia. It's the same with Call Me. Life.

I told you how much I love Call Me because it's a very relatable sentiment. And it's like, what are your fucking fingers? What are you saying there? Because that's exactly like how it feels. Yeah. Oh, thanks. Well, that's actually a diss track to 7L. Nobody knows that, but I'm dissing him. Yeah, because we have a lot of communication issues. Of course, that makes sense. I'm like, yo, man, just call me and we'll figure this out. Or at this point, just text me. But text me like English. You know what I never thought to do? Yeah.

I've never thought that when I'm having that very situation with someone, just to send them that song. That's what I should be doing. Just send the song. Yeah, with your Rolodex, I'm sure that would be nice for me. So why don't you send that over to Quentin Tarantino or whoever else you've had on. Fucking call me. Yeah. Bitch. Bitch.

But that's why you're great. That's funny to you. So we're going to do a little segment we like to call Horrible or Hilarious. Shit, man. This segment stressed me out. This is a great one today. You got it. Sometimes you don't know what's in the folder and then sometimes it's amazing and you're here for a great day. Okay. All right. So we watch the video and you tell me, is it horrible or hilarious? Okay. All right.

No. I've fallen off stages before. I don't like this. I've done that. That's all the answer I need to fucking hear right there. Shit, man. You already voted. Well, you know, you want to balance that with some degree of compassion because you don't want that. You guys have been on plenty of stages. You don't want to fall off stage. But that is... It's funny because...

It's always funny to see somebody fall. Is that guy an asshole? Right, right. Well, here's the cool thing, and this is for real. He's fine. He's okay. Oh, that's good. That's good. He's the camera guy. He's just trying to film the fucking... Yeah, it's like... He's just doing his job, and he's backed up. No one had his back, because usually there's a guy that has your back. Exactly. He's supposed to be like, hey, watch out. Watch your step. Security guard, definitely. He's in the Buffalo stance, yeah. What happened to Nana Cherry? Yeah, it's funny. Chickalow.

Yeah, it was such a great song. Sucka. If you listen to those lyrics now, it's funny how they're dated, but they're just like, it's such a time capsule of, I'm not sure where she is. No money man can win my love. It's sweetness that I'm thinking of. Exactly. And that's the big- That's what I married this guy for. Yeah, absolutely. What is a Buffalo Stan? Now he's coming everywhere. He is coming everywhere. He came everywhere.

What is a buffalo stance? That's what the security guard is in. Oh, right. We always hang in a buffalo stance. We do the dive every time we dance. I give you love, baby, not romance. So don't. Glad you guys are having fun. Fresh with me. You ain't never heard that song? No, I've heard it. Come on in. Come on in. Let's hear it. No money man can win my love.

Hey, my love. Hey, sweetness. Sweetness. Thinking of. Thinking of. We do the dive every time we dance. Wow. No, it's we always hang in a buffalo stance. Buffalo stance. We do the dive every time we dance. So don't. I don't know. I don't know. And then the da-da-da-da-da-da-da-da. Yeah. That's the best part, man. Anyway, what's next? Oh. I like this already. I hate when people fuck with animals. You deserve what you get. Dipshit. Oh, you fuck. Nope. Nope.

I hope he dies. I hope you fucking die. That was real. That was very real. That was real. I don't know if it's funny, right? Uh... I, uh...

It's not funny. It's not funny. It's funny to the alligator community. Yeah. Gators are laughing. They're laughing. Yeah. I recently went on an airboat with my son down in the Everglades. We went through and we saw all these and we were able to catch an alligator fight.

Like, unsanctioned. It wasn't like a Michael Vick thing. It was just two gators. They were just fighting, and one was just biting the other's torso. And the guide on the airboat just kind of looked at it like it was normal. And I say, hey, can we go break this up or something? And he laughed. I wasn't really going to hop off the boat. But they were on land. You could kind of... And it's shallow waters, but it's very dangerous. And before you get on the airboat, there was a guy that was kind of on that...

animal trainer situation where he would say, you know, he'd say, I know how these gators behave and what they're capable of and that's why I can get away with doing something stupid like this. This shit I never understand. I never understand. Hey, you know what the fun thing is? I'm going to stick a limb or my head into a predator, a deadly predator's mouth. I don't get what the...

what the fun is here. I really don't. It's really stupid. Yeah, the whole thing makes me anxious. Whenever anybody does that, oh, look at my hand. It's like, what are you doing, man? Dude, I ask permission to pet people's dogs. Oh, yeah. Like, you don't even know. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I usually, when I see people's dogs, I kind of drop to my knees and roll over on my back and want to get attacked by them in a loving way. Sure. Yeah.

But, you know, actually outside here, there was two German shepherds off the leash. Do you know who they are? No. Not this guy, but there was two real ones out there and they were just both, you know, under the command of the guy. I thought you were actually saying that as a description for two women that you thought were unattractive. You mean real dogs? Yes.

because i love there's two fucking german shepherds off their leash i'm like yeah i know that's emily and melissa that work next door that's what you're saying i thought that's remember that was a basset house oh that's true yeah that's it for that but but german shepherds are beautiful they really are i mean they're just just true they are no they are they're beautiful yeah um and and

yeah they're off leash I do think it's kind of a flex for a dog owner yes a negative flex though like hey my dogs are off the leash it makes everyone else tense yeah and then they go don't worry it's like well you can make everyone not worry by doing the leash yeah absolutely exactly don't you feel this was so stupid to stop but don't you feel like German Shepherds are racist dogs to have oh don't you feel like they're just like racist what because they're German yeah uh because the Nazis trained them

They're like Nazis dogs. I mean, and he's nodding so hard I think his neck's going to break. I can't see him. Right? They're Hitler dogs. Yeah, I agree. Bro, they're cops. They're narcs. Yeah, they're narcs. Those are not slaves of the dog world though, right? Yeah, there's a furor. Look at Garing right there on the right, upper right. They are racist dogs. I thought dogs are colorblind.

Look at that. No, I think... They are Nazi dogs. They are Nazi dogs. I've met a lot of good German Shepherds. I used to work in the post-op at an animal shelter, and I would have to... Not a veterinarian's... What do you call it? A vet. Yeah. I used to work there in the post-op, and they'd come out, and I would have to give the dogs their medicine. So I would have to go into the jaws of Rottweilers, Pit Bulls. Oh, my God. What's the scariest? They're sedated. The scariest... I'd probably...

you know, traditionally, you're usually afraid of the pit bull. You know what I mean? But the Rottweiler was originally the dog that I had. Rock Wilder. Yeah. Say it right. Jeez. I thought you were a rapper. What the fuck's going on?

the roddy i know the rock well yeah so so so the rottweiler at that time in my life was the one that i probably was feared the most and this guy turned out to be the most loving dog of course he was on a shitload of trazodone but so i could go right in there and kill him and it's just like a lab yeah and um you know uh connor corso um there's a bunch of dogs that are typically intimidating but it

I know it's a cliche, but I think it's the owner. So if your owner is fucking Hitler, you're going to be a bastard of a dog. You're going to be a racist dog. Do you think that a dog owner of a German shepherd needs to...

tell that German shepherd what their grandparents did. Like, you think they should be like, you shouldn't be proud of your lineage. You've attacked black people in Mobile. You've killed Jews in Dachau. Do you think that's something that you should tell them? That's such a good idea. Let them know what their history is. Well, you have to do it in clicks because they respond to clicker training. So it's kind of like a Morse code of...

But I think we've been giving these dogs too much of a pass. I got to be honest. Shepherds in general? No. I would love to. I've been trying to push my wife to get a German Shepherd for a long time. But it's a different personality. You know what I mean? They're all business. Yes, precise, precision dogs. Yes.

They're highly trainable. You have to train them. She's right. Yeah. It's like they enjoy it. You know, speaking of dogs. They're so stupid. If you have blue eyes, there's nothing to worry about.

My dad got a German Shepherd once. My dad's not a dog trainer. He's so lazy. And that fucking dog, dude, they are smart as shit. If you don't give them any direction, they will just tear your shit up, tear your house up, shit all over you. They need it. Yeah, they are the fuck leader for sure. Susan Milan. They need a job to do. Yeah. That type of dog is a working breed dog. So they're happy dogs.

with a job. One of my dogs is a lab and he has to chase balls and bring the balls back. Or she's not happy. How dare you misgender your dog? She's very open-minded. And you know, I have this thing where I look at Rocket, who is a boy. He's got a cock. Is that the word on this show? Yeah, you can say cock. And Pepper, who's a girl, but Pepper kind of presents in your traditionally...

Lou Ferrigno masculine way. And Rocket presents more like Richard Simmons. Gotcha. Really? Yeah, and it's just a... So maybe they do have different pronouns. Maybe you should ask them their preferred pronouns. Yeah, and the thing is, I never had a female dog until Pepper. And so I never saw the female genitalia so close on a dog. And hers is very...

Cardi B pronounced just really out there yeah and it's like oh god it kind of looks human really okay I mean because I've only had a small dog a small female dog and hers like we could just see the outer bits the labia she had a big oh

You ever seen someone fuck a dog? No, I haven't. I already got a gag reflex. This is the place to go if I'm going to see it. No, I don't. I'm not down with that. I'm not down with picking little things off the... Not that I'm bestial phobic. Yeah, yeah. No, sure. No, how dare you? Bestial phobic. But I just... I don't like getting into that area. And you got to... Yes.

mop the vulva to keep it clean. Yeah, that's what we did to Bitsy. Yeah, well, that's great. Remember? I didn't like it. It's great because they get into a lot of shit and they don't care. They don't think twice about it. It's a second nature to them. How do they know to... If you don't take care, they'll run around with rotten pussies forever. They don't care. No, they don't care. Yeah, and Pepper, she definitely... I hope she's not listening, but...

She could use a little bit of cleaning. Here we go. What if we have a German Shepherd girl? What if she's like, don't touch my pussy, please. Keep your hands off my vagina. She could be very stoned. That's likely that she might be like that, but my wife likes getting in there with like, she's into, sorry, but popping zits. Sure. That's what women do. Picking ticks off the dogs. She likes that. She goes right in there. She's like an activity.

And I'll go get the tweezers and then I'll kind of bow out of the situation. But she'll get right in there. And sometimes I have to help like hold up the ear flap. So it's precision. It's precision. Yeah. Let's watch a fun one. Oh, God. Oh, Jesus. He's hanging out. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. We're never hot air ballooning. Did he fall? No, he didn't. Oh, Jesus. This guy's voice is the best. Did he fall? Oh, my God.

Oh, my God. Oh, Jesus. Okay, this is... I hope he's not the one who runs it. Can I have a water? Anybody got a water?

I mean, I would like a little refreshment. Yeah. This is... I look at this as tempting, like tempting the alligator. Yeah. You're tempting gravity and you're doing, you know, you're fucking with the way things should be. How do you feel about aviation in general? Oh, absolutely. I know that you're a pilot now. No, I'm not. I'm trying to be. You're getting into it, which takes a big sack to do. But you don't like it? Oh, I hate it. You don't like flying? The most...

For someone that flies as often as I do... I was going to say, you fly a lot. Yes, every single time I say... Hey, thanks, Josh. Every single time I say...

I'm risking my fucking life for this. Really? Every time. I'm off. I'm the worst. You're on hundreds and hundreds of flights. Ask anybody I've ever toured with or anything. How's George? Oh, he's a bastard. He falls asleep on the plane. Yeah. And Deck will be, Deck's like, yo, man, sometimes when I get nervous about that, I picture myself as the pilot. And that story, envisioning Deck as the pilot,

helps me cope a little bit it does because it's such a no no no not not like oh deck's gonna no it's that funny to me oh right that's his go-to do you know what i mean because i don't picture myself as the pilot every it it seems like there's a um an episode on not most of my flights but a flight recently um the landing gear uh the tire popped on takeoff

And I was up in the air for five hours. I'm not kidding. Five hours before the captain addressed it. So I'm watching everyone in the whole fuselage, even the flight attendants and seeing who's nervous, who's not. It was like an explosion. Oh, you guys heard it all. Oh, I heard it like no tomorrow. And then the pilot brings it up at the end of the flight? When we made an emergency landing. Oh, you made an emergency landing? Yes, in Phoenix. Where were you flying to? To LA. To LA.

And then what did he say? Yeah. He said, listen, guys, I know a lot of you have questions about what happened on takeoff, but we blew a tire. That doesn't seem like a protocol. Oh, it was Delta. And they had to fly over the Phoenix airport so the people in the control tower could look at the underbelly of the plane to make sure it was safe for landing. So I'm like, I had

had had wi-fi so i was able to text my wife and then tell her like you know i don't know about how this is going to turn out oh my god and then the wi-fi went out and there's no wi-fi so now we're just i'm just like in the plane and this this girl next to me has a cat and uh she was from i think she might have been from korea but she had her we started making small talk because this might have been the last you know i said you're like i should try to fuck a korean chick yeah i was thinking mile high club and uh but she had the cat and um

The cat's name was Rocket. Okay. And that was my dog's name. And I said, wow, my dog's name is Rocket. And we started talking about the dog. I could talk about dogs forever. And that pacified us for a little bit as we went past the Phoenix airport. Low. Oh yeah. We flew low. Yeah. And they determined that everything was safe enough for us to attempt a landing. The captain of the plane was not the most reassuring guy because he was like,

We should be okay. What? Yeah, and I'm like, and I'm feeling the plane turn around to make the landing, the approach. And as we're landing, he's on the mic and he's like, there will be fire trucks below to put out anything, so don't worry about that. I'm like, oh, that comforts me a lot. Holy shit. Like my charred body. And we landed in the...

Fire engines chased the plane and there were dogs out there, like police dogs, German Shepherds. Oh, no. No, they didn't get hit by the – they were there to help.

Certain passengers of certain colors, maybe. Yeah. So anyway, that's a long story, but I guess it ties into the weather balloon. So wait, was the landing fine? So did you feel, was it like a dunk? Yeah, and then the debris from the popped tires axle

kicked rocks up into the wing so the wing had holes in it and everything yeah so it was it was it was pretty crazy i mean do you think they have like backup landing gear don't they have that shit on planes like i don't know about a tire yeah popping them yeah there's a lot of there's a lot of tires on each side so i think several of the tires blew at once but they were still you're on a big plane yeah big plane yeah boston la yeah and then

That's terrible. So then how long were you guys there before you? So we landed in Phoenix and they gave us a voucher to a hotel of our choice. Oh, wow. I didn't know my hotels in Phoenix. So I picked one. It was close to a Chipotle. I figured I can just

and the hotel was a fucking dump but that's one thing but they were like you know you can just hop on the next flight and I did not do that I rented a car and I drove from Phoenix to LA oh you did yeah the next day and it was you know a very cathartic drive just being by myself in the car and just kind of processing what had happened and then

That night, I went to the Lakers game and they were playing the Phoenix Suns. And there was Delta on the Jumbotron. So it was like, I left Phoenix to drive to LA, walked into a Lakers-Suns game, and then Delta's on his... I don't know. It was just weird. Yeah, yeah. Sure. And I'm alive and I'm still flying. And I'm not as afraid of flying as I was before that because I know that I survived. I don't know what it says about me where like,

When I'm on flights and things go wrong, it just doesn't make my heart race a bit. That's so true. He thinks I'm the dumbest dummy dum-dum when something is jittery. And I'm like, babe. And he's like, it's fine. It's fine, you dumb bitch. And I'm like, God. He practically says dumb bitch in his head. He looks at me disdainfully like I'm overreacting. Our children are with us. I've been on some... Sometimes you gotta... I fly a lot, like you. Yeah. And I've had... If you fly that many times, you're gonna have... So I've had a couple...

Wacky ones. Yeah had one in particular last year on tour. That was it was like They were like hey, I don't know if we're gonna be able to land because of visibility because there's like really bad weather Okay, and I was like, oh cut the shit like we're gonna fucking land and then they go well You know if the visibility isn't there and then when we were approaching I'm looking out I'm like, oh you can't see a fucking thing and we did land. Yeah, and

And right before he was like, if we can't land, we're going to do one pass, try to do it again. And then if we can't land there, we'll go to another airport. And I was like, stop being a bitch. Just fucking land, you know? I wish I had that perspective on things. Yeah, I don't. He landed. And then we got, I was like, holy shit. You saw the runway like two seconds before they landed. That's how you die. It was unbelievable. And when we landed, I was like, holy shit. And then I asked the pilot, I was like.

You want to do that again? He goes, that was the scariest landing I've ever done in my career. Was this private? Oh, wow. Was this private? Yeah. Yeah. See, this is how rich people die. This is how Aaliyah died, right? Just put the extra gear on the plane. Who cares if it's too much? The rich guy tells the pilot what to do. The pilot's too afraid to say no. Yeah, I was like, shut the fuck up with the fucking clouds. And that's how you fucking die. Isn't that how Kobe died too? Yeah.

Flying in the bad weather. Bad weather, yeah. Yeah. We got to go. We got to go. It's like that's how you fucking die. Yeah. Cool, cool time. And by the way. So you're letting him fly. Yeah, I'm letting him. Hilarious. Like he ever listens to me. I wish, I wish I could hold rank authority. He doesn't seem to care. Oh my God. I don't want to watch this anymore. I really don't want to watch this anymore. That's how I'm getting back to Boston. In 12 years. Yeah.

he laughed i

that's your kid absolutely that's the that's how i process a lot of stuff since having kids it's different it's different but yeah that's um my son doesn't have a pogo stick um no that hurts he does uh yeah he is playing football though oh wow yeah yeah um i uh yeah that's tough my question for a

unearthed is when that happens, who's making the decision to upload? Yeah, always. I think it's after you made a, you're recovered. Yeah. If you're the owner of it, right? You're like, oh, this is probably going to get a lot of, just think about views and clicks. Yeah. And if it's like, oh, it was video and my friend died, you're like, it's probably going to get a lot of views and clicks. I don't like it. Could you TikTok still? You want to just do a couple more? No. I like this side of you.

I haven't seen this one. This looks cool. This looks terribly third world, by the way. No. What shitty country is this in? What Indian fucking... Oh, no. Oh, no. Fuck this, dude. Fuck this. Dead. No fucking way. Not enough money in the world to get me on that. Yeah, what country is this? Oh, man. This is gonna... Oh, Jesus Christ.

How are you gonna stop it? I'm getting nauseous just thinking about it. Oh man. How are you gonna stop it? Cut the power! Pull the fucking plug, man. Bro. That is SO much speed they've got going. It's like the G's, right? Centrifugal force. Oh my god, just cut the power! Sick flags. Oh, they're trying to! That's what they're trying to do. I hate this so much.

Fuck this, dude. I thought that whole thing was going to come off and just flatten them. Yeah. You took your headphones off. I took my headphones off. I'm looking at you. Yeah, no, it's fine. Everyone's fine. Everybody's good.

You didn't prep me for the vehicular homicide before, so I don't know what's coming here. This could have been a beheading. You know, I just don't know. That is, that, first of all, you're going to live through this, which is good. These people live, they're traumatized as shit. They're never going to go on a ride or have joy in their lives ever again. Right. That's bad. Right. Your body can handle that much force on it. It sucks. You'll probably feel pretty sick. Yeah. Oh, yeah, you're definitely going to barf after that. Yeah. Yeah.

That was terrible. Well, come on, are we done? Oh, this is a good one. This is the last one. I've seen this one. Okay, so look. Like, ow. That fall was funny. We just watched the other people. They're like, this guy. She's texting. He's like, eh. Eh. Okay. Okay.

Again, not America. That kind of sounds like the music from the old school. Dude, look at everybody. I hate it. My favorite is the guy that's six feet from her. Yeah. He's just like, what? This was an easy one. I like this. I mean, that person is suffering. Oh, yeah. Thank you for pointing the arm. Help. The guy here in the red? Yeah. He's having a seizure in the street, that guy.

He can just get his arm up. No one cares. I feel like he has a parking spot that he doesn't want to give up. There you go. So he's going to stay put. Help, help, my leg. See you later. My leg. Oh, wow. This is unreal. This is really cool. Thanks, Tom.

I really like humanity. This really restores my faith. Why can't you, why did I set it to that music? Fuck off. Yeah, I don't know. Yeah. Can I tell you a nice story about Texas though? Yeah. One time I got, I was in the car with the children and I was taking them to school and we, and then we got hit and run.

A guy, a carload of dudes ran a red light and hit our car and we were stopped in the street and they took off. And you know what? I managed to get us to the side of the road. We were safe. We're fine. Everybody was fine. And this nice Texan man about in his sixties pulls up with the guys that did the hit and run. And he goes, ma'am, I found these men. They hit and run you. And I found them. I brought them to you. And he, and I swear, I mean, talk about like chivalry. So there you go. Wow.

In LA. No. Never. Did he have them on a lasso or something? He just was like, I took pictures of you guys. He took photos. He followed them and then stopped. He's like, I saw what you did. I took pictures of you. You need to come back. Isn't that amazing? Yeah. That's a good Texan story. Can I tell you a good Texan story? Yeah. I was leaving my hotel room this morning and a guy came up to me and I think he was, you know, he was,

dressed in all black. I think he might have been homeless, but had a snake eyes look, or a new Kanye look. You know what I mean? Just all black, balaclava. And he approached me. Oh my God. Yeah. I was leaving the hotel room, and he said to me, he said, you up in that hotel room wishing on a bitch. I done already fucked her. And obviously...

I was like, well, maybe he's right. Maybe. I am alone in my hotel room. Yeah. Wishing on a bitch. Yeah. But the fact that he had already fucked her, it puts me into a headspace where I start picturing the scenario. And I'm like, well, I would hate to hear, I would hate if he beat me to this particular girl. Yeah. Yeah.

And, you know, obviously he was a crackpot. Yeah. What's the word for it? Unhoused. Okay. Yeah. On the loops. Yeah. And that was my Texas taste for the morning. Wow. So you had a very different experience. Very different. Yeah. Yeah. Different parts of Austin. You know, you're probably in the downtown region, I'm guessing. Well, this was Congress Street. Yeah. That's a different time. Okay. Different space. You up there wishing on a bitch. Wishing on a bitch. I haven't heard that in a while. And I was just thinking, you know.

I was wishing on a chair. Did you get one of these? Thank you for that. No, I gave him a clothesline. Yeah, you did. You know, I missed the crictum real quick. Give me a turkey slicer, man. Yeah, dude. You don't want to fuck around. No, you don't engage with that. You just kind of keep walking. Yeah.

Yeah. All right. So the album comes out December 1st. Yes, sir. Will there be a tour that follows this? Yeah, yeah, in 2024. Wu-Tang's on tour now, so that's got to...

wind down and then czar face is going to get on the road will you do austin please i would love to absolutely awesome yeah i'd love to see you guys again and and uh absolutely that's awesome dude i mean you're really our favorite dude thank you for thank you thank you for coming by yeah um it's artificial intelligence i'm just reminding people out december 1st yeah yeah yeah we're happy for you man oh thank you thank you so much virgin records yeah yeah

Fucking sellout, man. Never. Get your money, homie. Stack checks. Good for you. Thank you so much for having me, guys. Thank you, brother. Thank you guys for watching and listening. We'll see you next week. We ain't drinking no pool water over here. Nothing but that glacier, you feel me? Yeah, that's it.

♪ Water, water, water, water, water, water, water, water, jam ♪ ♪ Hour, hour, hour, sipping hour, hour, sipping hour ♪ ♪ Get your Ubers, if you've been sipping, what's the problem? ♪

Why are you so thirsty? Why are you dehydrated? Gallons, I drank 30. Tell me, where's your water? Tell me, where's your water? It could be hydro, spring water, only you're so viral. Super H, you know, I've been on the roll. All these bottles in a row, got sources on the low, saying you ain't got the flow.

♪ Swimming laps around you ♪ ♪ With all the sippage that I consume ♪ ♪ If you're trying to be the water champ ♪ ♪ Better do it like I do ♪ ♪ Where's your water, where's your water, where's your water ♪ ♪ Since you drinking water, I've been sipping ♪ ♪ You need Fiji, I'm putting it just like maybe ♪ ♪ Got enough for the crew at Studio G ♪

Send a rescue boat for those hating on me.

♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪ ♪♪

The doctor said I need to drink less water. That's how much I'm drinking right now. I mean, you wouldn't understand. That's only for the champ. You know what I'm saying? Yeah.

you