What Are Your Charges? w/ H. Foley & Kevin Ryan | Your Mom's House Ep. 724
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This week on YMH. This is probably the greatest thing I've found on social media in a long time. Let's see what these guys are putting out there. And just so you ladies, when you're listening right now, you're watching, these guys are available. And would you go hard every meal? Were you like a big, like you just would just... Like, how did I get this fat? I mean, like, sure. Yeah.

I see four laps. Hold on. That might have just been a part of the show. Welcome. Welcome to your mom's house.

Mom, Dad, I humbly suggest you save some money and shop Amazon for back to school. It's for my growth, meaning my body's growing at an alarming rate. And clothes you buy me this year will be very small very soon. Plus, the clothes I love today will be out of style tomorrow. But at least your wallet doesn't have to be my fashion victim if you shop low prices for school at Amazon. Hopefully this is helpful. Amazon. Spend less, spend more.

Smile more. And we are back. Welcome to another episode of Your Mom's House. I slept a lot. I'm Tommy Bunz. She's Christine.

How are you? I'm so good. You slept like the dead. Yeah. And normally I hear you ripping. You did not even rip. I know. You were like a log, dead log. It was crazy. Yeah. What happened to you? You're just finally home and so relaxed? So relaxed. I also slept nothing the night before. Yeah. So I went to bed really late, got up early for a flight and-

You know those days where you sleep like three, four hours? Yes. And then so when I finally got to bed, it was just other level. Horrible. And I put my mouth tape on. Oh, your house? That's why you didn't rip. Yeah, I put mouth tape on. Oh, man. That stuff's the best. That stuff really works. It really works. I woke up with my mouth wide open. Was I ripping? Yeah.

Couldn't tell you. I was on my back. I was in another dimension. Yeah. It was great sleep. I was talking to a guy who was telling me about military training when you're in the army and you do your, what is that? When you boot camp? Yeah. And he's like, yeah, they sleep deprive you for days. Oh man, I remember when I was in training before I went overseas, it was really, really rough. They sleep, they would come in at like,

5 a.m. playing drums and get us all in line and just have us, you know, go on like a run immediately, sit in the cold water by the ocean. It was crazy. That was wild. Was that for your SEAL training? Yeah. That's when I was, yeah, I was in bud school. And then when I was in Army Ranger school, we would, like, they'd wake us up and make us parachute at like 5 o'clock in the morning.

o'clock. Wow. And that's tough because, but a good thing you did it when you were young. Yeah. Because imagine doing it at this age. No, I mean, I'm able to still obviously participate because I go different combat zones, but yeah, all my training was. But I was going to say that all this training that you did in your twenties is now paying off because

I feel like you can take the sleep deprivation and the time zone changes because you've been trained as an ABC. It's all in the training. It's what I tell people. It's all in the training. If you're not, if you're not willing to do the work to train, you're not going to, you're not going to, you're not going to thrive. Champions are made in the practice field.

There's a lot to go over. I feel like we should kind of get moving. Oh my gosh, I can't wait. I'm so excited for today's guests. The guests are amazing, but even more so, I found some incredible talks that I'm just chomping at the bit to share. Here we go.

The vagina starts to mature between 29 for early bloomers and 35 for late bloomers. Really? Yes. And that's why you find women mature in regards to the structure of it and the texture and how it feels. And that's why you find women who are in their 40s will always have tastier vaginas than women in their 20s. Tastier. Tastier.

The people who can confirm this are the younger guys who are going for the older women who are apparently called cougars. These are facts. Science, brah. Who is Ryan? Don't bring anyone mother to this. Welcome to your mom's house with Tom Segura. Christina Pacheco.

Welcome to your mom's house. Mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom. Ma chua. Babe, my vagines taste ya than a 20-year-old vagina. I don't believe that. I don't buy that. I don't know about that.

Well, here, let's put it this way. Hold on, listen to me. I haven't lapped up a 25-year-old one in a while. But I bet mine was way better. Here's my reasoning. You know when you meet a puppy, like I met a puppy, and its teeth are so white, and the breath doesn't even smell. The breath is nice. It's puppy breath. It's new. You actually go like, you actually want to be in there. You whiff it. It's like fabric softener. And then you take your finger and you kind of go like...

But then, you know, you've had the dog for like 12, 14 years and that mouth is a septic tank. It's a fucking fish market. Yeah. End of day fish market. God damn. So I appreciate the sentiment, but I'm not buying it based on my science of dog mouths. I would listen to this man who doesn't know what he's talking about.

100% and use it to raise your self-esteem, you know, be like, that's right. Yeah. This Nigerian guy for sure knows. But you know why he's doing it?

There's always our theory of like, he knows he can't get the 20-year-olds, but he can get a gang of 40-year-olds who are like, this guy thinks my pussy tastes sweeter. I know. And then what happens is he does this speech to some chick who's like, nah, he's like, can I sample? May I sample? And then he eats her out and he's like, it's so tasty. It's much tastier. And then she's like, wow, I didn't realize that. Yeah. And then she tells her friends and then they go, he just tricked you into letting...

I'm looking to eat your box. This Nigerian guy ate my box. Pretty cool. I think he's actually, oh, there's more. Sorry. They have just realized that that's where the gold is. Yes, but now the problem is the men who are supposed to be viewing this older, mature woman as that seductive woman who has endless passion and taste, they have a different perception. They called her my wife.

Mother of my children. Yeah. You know what happens to a lot of African men when they go down that road? You start looking at her different. She's no longer your sex kitten or your playmate. She's now your respectable woman in the house. Even a woman who's 38 who has kids. Other men are looking at her, you are a flavored pussy. I want you. But the husband's going like, no, no, no, no. That's my wife. Respectable woman. I see what he's doing. You get it? Yeah, yeah.

It is all an angle though. It's an angle. Yeah. Clever. Because it's true. Once you have kids and your pussy's torn up and you're tired and mangled and that progesterone drops and perimenopause sets it, like you're not, you're not juiced up. I was way better in my twenties. Yeah. Sexually and everything. Yeah. Sorry. I mean, I'm apologizing as in like, I'm sorry I failed you as a woman. Well, you know what? You can keep trying.

You don't have to give up. I do try. I stay in the game. Yeah. I try to keep my weight down. I'm on the low-level T. Take my supplements and stuff, too. You know what I mean? Yeah. Just keep putting out. Keep doing things. I do put out. I still put out. Just keep trying new things. Keep stretching, you know? Stretching. Jaw. Okay. Stupid. Stupid. Yeah. Yeah, no, you're doing great. You're doing great with your very tasty...

40s vagine. Yeah. This guy's out of his mind. Yeah, it tastes like sad. Is it tasty or mature? It's not. It's just, we're all rotting, decaying right now. We are, yeah. Meat rotting on the bone, dude. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Just getting closer to death. There's no way. Got a few weeks to live. Yeah, at best. At best, yeah. I don't think so. Just live those best years right now, those moments. Don't be anti-trans and just try to be a good person.

This is a cool person. You know what they tell you? They always say, you never know, honestly, how long you're going to live. Right. And seize the day. Do what you love. Do what you love. And if you, you know, it's like, what's the thing you go, I go, I wish I could have the croissant. You go, just do it. You could die tomorrow. You could die tomorrow. Eat your croissant.

This guy has the same idea, okay? I was in this corner for a while and I noticed a guy was staring at me through that little hole. And I couldn't tell if I was being paranoid or if he was just reading a book and he just happened to be in that little corner. Anyways, it felt like anywhere I moved, he kept following me. I definitely didn't expect him to do this. Like, what the actual fuck? Then you notice that he goes over and does the same thing to this girl. And he'll crouch down low and pretend like he's doing something and then...

So, guess what? What?

There's an update. No. 37-year-old Glendale man who was arrested just last week for allegedly peeping into a home was arrested again Thursday on suspicion of failing to register as a sex offender. According to Glendale Police Department, Khalees Crowder was arrested Friday on suspicion of

peeping into a residence in Glendale while a family, including children, were at home. Police say Crowder pleaded no contest to a peeping charge on Monday and was sentenced to 60 days in jail in order to enter into a sex rehabilitation program. However, Crowder was quickly released from custody. As part of his sentence, Crowder was ordered to register as a sex offender, but police say he failed to do so, prompting him to be arrested again Thursday. According to police, Crowder was being held in the Glendale City Jail in lieu of $20,000 bail.

Investigators say Crowder has a long history of peeping, prowling, and residential burglaries dating back to 2011. He has been arrested multiple times and served eight years in prison. Most recently, Crowder made headlines for an alleged stalking incident captured on video. Oh dear. Uh, Michaela Witter said she was stalked by Crowder at a Barnes and Noble. Her TikTok of the incident now has more than 5 million views in the video. He has seen crouching down near her legs. Uh, he said he's tying his shoes. She looked like he was smelling her from behind. Uh,

And there's our boy. Whoa, look at those ears. Arrested for sniffing butts at Barnes & Noble. But here's the thing, man. Do what you like. Do what you like. Do what makes you happy. Well, and can you really blame him? Because she's in her late 30s, and her vagina's smelling and tasting better than ever. It's almost tasty. It's almost very tasty. She has yet to hit 40. But once she does, then you'll be the tastiest it's ever been. Yeah, I mean, you can't blame the guy. It's called science. Mm-hmm.

Wow, this guy is super cool. And he's been there for eight years. Prison? Yeah, he's been there eight years in prison. You know, I don't agree with a lot of what Putin does in Russia. Yeah. However, I don't know if you've heard, but Russia has been killing... Yeah, or castrating them, right? Castrating them. Yeah, castrating. Chemically castrating. Chemically... Putin's on the right track here. I actually think he's 100% doing some things that are right. Yeah.

And Russia, you know, Russia doesn't fuck around. No. Probably too much they don't fuck around, but on things like that. They don't fuck around at all, yeah. Yeah, that type of approach to managing the law. It's kind of great. I mean, there's no solution for perpals, as your father would say. Or I'm sorry, the minorly attracted is what we call them in America. Yeah.

But there's no solution for them. Yeah. Either you be lenient and you try to understand it and educate them, but you can't. Yeah. You should just cut their nuts off. I think that's the better solution here. Chemically castrated is a positive. I don't see how anybody can make a case against that. That is what you should do. You know, well, Saudis chop hands off of thieves. Great.

For shoplifting, you get your hands cut off. I don't see a problem with that. Yeah, I think it kind of would work. Yeah. Because just like they solved the gay problem in Russia, there's no gays in Russia.

Problem solved. Problem solved. Yeah. Just make it illegal, dude. There's a, I think it was Iran that said we don't have gays. Of course not. Once you outlaw it, it just stops happening. It doesn't exist here. That's your problem. Yeah. Maybe we need to make a law against these. Yeah. There's no such thing. There's no such thing. We killed them all. Yeah.

It's pretty crazy. Speaking of the law. Sure. This guy needs to be castrated. Yeah. We're done. I think eight years in prison for being a pervert. Chemically castrate you. Come on, douchebag. He's not being rehabilitated. It's not happening for him. But just so you know, if you do go into prison, the chance for finding love doesn't end there. You can still...

Put your message out that you're getting out, or maybe you're not, but you want to find love. That's right. Because I think we all deserve love. Everybody. Even inmates. And luckily, we have found that there are inmates posting their dating profile videos from inside. On Instagram, which is very rare. Usually it's the talk. Yeah. But this gem I found on the Insta, I can't believe, I don't want to curse it. It'll probably get taken down. But I don't know how...

But this is probably the greatest thing I've found on social media in a long time. Yep. And I've been thinking about it for a week and I've been dying to share. Let's get into it. Let's see what these guys are putting out there.

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And just so ladies, when you're listening right now, you're watching, these guys are available. Okay. Very available. Oh, Hey, my name's Christopher. Everybody calls me wing nut. As you can tell, I'm incarcerated. I'm just in here looking for people to write and get to know. Sure. Anyways, I love to draw. Oh, here, let me show you one of my drawings. Oh, he's an artist. I love that. I love artists. Whoa. That's really good. It is really good.

Dude. All right. Wingnut's got some skills. Yeah. Wingnut. You know what? I also saw on this woman's TikTok. She's like, if you're going to prison, you need to cultivate a skill. You need to bring your skill set to prison. And she lists drawing as one of those. So if you can do hair, for instance, you give manicures. But drawing, that's pretty elite.

That is the thing. If you know you're getting locked up, you better be good at something. Yeah. What would you, what would your lock up skill? I'd be in real trouble. Yeah, me too. Telling fart jokes. I'd be, I can make you guys laugh. He's like, you can make us come. Yeah, exactly. Make us laugh while we come. Yeah.

What could you do? You could maybe exercise with them. You're good at exercising. No way. Give cool haircuts. I mean, they would, they would like, it would be a thing if you really are genuinely funny, you make everybody laugh, but that's kind of like a thing that's discovered. It's like you hang out with somebody and they go, this dude's funny. You know, like that reminds me of school where like, like,

once people are like hey yeah that dude's really funny you know you make people but you can't go in there like that's my skill set well they're not gonna like let you do shows no no no they're not well actually I have heard of that happening too really where the inmate can do eventually yeah yeah a set yeah dude that's kind of okay well then we

And wait a minute, we found our skill. But that's the thing is it's going to happen like once a quarter or a year or something. And it's going to be like a whole thing where you got to be like one of the best behave inmates. And you know what I mean? It's like a reward for you and for the like, that's a once in a while thing. And you probably can't make fun of the COs, which is all you want to do. Yeah, I don't know. They might allow it. I think you just don't want to incite violence. But you do like.

one banger show. Yeah, I know. A year. And you're like the hero of the block. That's true. It's true. Dude, that'd be so rad. But I think you actually just need another skill set. You got to be able to like cook. Practical. Or yeah, draw or something. Shit. I know. I feel like I would definitely be in trouble. I'd be such a loser. I just have to like have a... I'd be someone's girlfriend. Yeah, you do her laundry and stuff. You don't want to be somebody's bitch, but yeah, I might have to be. But I think it's different for women because they're not like...

You're not, yeah, you're not like, you know, some chick who really digs you, wants you to be her girlfriend is not going to be like, all right, I'm going to fucking kill you if this doesn't like, but guys are like that. That chick will be like, can't believe you don't have feelings for me no more. You know?

Like super pissed, but she's not going to, she's going to be like, all right, you like the other bitch? Fuck you then, Christine. Yeah. I would hook up with the most powerful woman on the lot. Yeah, that's smart. But then I'd have to eat her box. But the good news is her pussy tastes sweeter if she's older. Yeah, she's been locked up for a long time. So that would be good. It's been marinating and happy juices. Can you imagine too, also in this prison talk, I've learned that like showers aren't a leisurely activity. Like you get in, you get out. So nobody's really smelling great.

Their boxes are probably really ripe, dude. I know. So anyway, I like Christopher. I'm going to, so far, let's play the prison dating game. Yeah, who do you want to date?

So far, Wingnut's a good choice. I think he's good. He's sensitive. He can draw. I like his approach. I kind of wish we knew what they were incarcerated for. That's a huge deal breaker. It's a big tell. All right, here we go. And how long? Yeah, let's see here. How long will Wingnut... Friends call me Mundo. I'm 34 years old, and I'm into pretty untrustworthy girls. I got a thing for them. If you ever been called trash, that's my kind of treasure. If you ever been called a hoe, you ain't. People are just jealous of you because they ain't out there living their life.

Anyways, you got daddy issues. Yeah, dude, Mundo. Dude, Mundo. This guy's the bomb, dude. Mundo's asking for broken girls. 34?

But he knows, dude, this is from experience. This guy knows that like he's into drama. Oh, he loves it. He wants problems, you know? He likes his dick out. He knows that's not from a good girl. That's like a bad girl is going to bring you lots of problems. But isn't that already a given? If you're perusing the prison Instagram, you're already fucked in the head. He's so smart, I think, because he literally...

He was direct. Yeah. It's a big thing they tell you too. If you're entering the dating world, what people do is they pretend to be someone else. Don't do it. Or they'll say, I like this. And they don't like, he's just like, are you trash? Do people say you're a hoe? Hit me up. And some girls like, yeah, some guys do say that about me. You know, they say I'm a hoe.

he's even got a line. He's like, other people's trash is my treasure. Like he's been rolling this line for a minute. Now here's what I like about Mundo. Now I'm convinced he's the one for me because he's so Jesus. Yeah. That was really loud. Liquid death. Um,

I lost my train of thought. That was such a loud open. The fact that he's so inclusive and accepting of my flaws, like I'm already down. Exactly. Because you want the guy that's like, you're not fat. You don't have to pretend to be something else. I feel like I have to pretend to be normal so much with you. I'm always like, oh boy, he's going to think I'm crazy. But you already know I'm crazy, right? So Mundo, is he your number one now? Oh man. I mean...

I like his acceptance. However, I do wish he had a skill, an artist skill, because I do relate to the artist. Well, maybe he does have a skill. He just didn't show it there. Okay. You know? I think Wingnut's a little more stable. I do like a stable choice. And also, Muno's going to be pissed that you're not creating problem. He really wants... Seriously. He wants drama. Yeah.

Can I tell you, I do think that an inmate is an ideal partner. Now, hear me out. A lot of women will be like, what? He's damn. Yeah, but he's just thinking about you, girl, all day. All day, every day. You and like the other five hoes that he's got on rotation. That's cool. Like he's just in there writing me letters. He's writing letters, bro. Thinking about me. Jane is leading me. Like it's the ultimate devotion that I require. Totally. Devotion is right. I want that. Hey, my name is Clark 38. I'm an Aquarius.

newly relocated to Arizona comedy movies scary movies heavy metal hell yeah mountains and trees I love snowboarding I love poetry a lot of music lyrics I love heavy metal so just looking for somebody to talk to intelligent conversation

Clark and I have a lot of the same interests. Actually, yeah. And he mentioned heavy metal twice. He likes nature, but he likes lyrics. I like lyrics too. Likes nature, outdoors. Recently relocated. Newly relocated, yeah. So he's so calm and chill. Yeah. And you're like, yeah, but aggravated assault is the chart. You can see that guy flip, right? Oh, yeah. But this is the difference is like, you know, he's putting on his like...

His dating face. This is his like, you know, I'm a pretty chill dude. I like to snowboard. I like the outdoors. It's like you. Yeah. Everything's fine. Yeah.

You're like, I don't know. Come into my web, girl. Yeah. Yeah. He's deceiving the shit out of her. Yeah. Yeah. And I like to, so there's two approaches. There's the one that's like straight up, like hit me up. I want to tap that ass. Or Clark, who's like, let's just be pen pals. Let's just see where it goes. I just want to get to know you, girl. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Like he's entering the door. Like we're just going to chat. Sure. That's not what it's about. That's not what it's about. Okay. I don't buy Clark. I like you, but. Yeah. So far I'm Lundo or wingnut.

Let's see here. Hell yeah.

You know what he's figured out, Levi, is that he conveys information in concise ways. He just tells you the whole thing. I'm real. I'm loyal. I've made mistakes. I've had setbacks. I'm looking for someone to vibe with. He gets to it. So he's not wasting time, right? That's one of the things that he's just direct. But...

Here's the other thing. You don't know shit about him. No, that's what's scary. This conveys absolutely nothing. You're right. Because you just want to vibe. He wants to vibe. It's an emotional connection. That's what women like, though. Right. I bet you. There's a lot of discovery that will happen in these first few letters.

Not really sure what's going on with these guys. But he's smart. You know, Patty Stanger will tell you, like, you don't lead with all the cards. That's right. No, I think it's an effective video that he made. He's doing slow disclosure, which is actually the smartest way to court a lady. And he's leading like, yeah, I've made mistakes. And it's like, oh, we know that. We know you've made mistakes. Yeah.

A lot of guys in prison are real big on I'm loyal, you know? Yeah. Loyalty is everything. You gotta click up, homie. Which clique are you in? Trust me, dog. That's right. Yeah. Yeah. That's so fucking nutty. Yeah. I like that he admits that he's like made mistakes and shit. Cause yeah, I like that. He's got a neck tattoo. Very aggressive. A lot of tats. Yep. I like it. I like these damaged guys. Hey man, this is exactly what you wanted. This is all, I'm all in. This is what you've dreamt of. You've always been talking about this. Here's where they are for you.

Well, why don't we take a quick break because our guests. Wait, hold on. There's one more. There's more than one more. Oh, okay. Okay. Why don't we just get to it later? Okay. I was just, I was panicking there for a minute because I wanted to see all my suitors. Yeah. And I know there's other guys in the back. We'll show the fellas. Okay. Okay. Okay. Because they, you know, they do argue fucking garbage. So maybe they'll weigh in on this. I love these guys. Yeah. Okay. All right. We'll be back in a moment. Bye.

Go to your happy place for a happy price. Go to your happy price, Priceline.

And we are back, and we are thrilled to welcome back our guests, who right now you can see on the Stay Trashy Tour. You can buy tickets at rugarbage.com. It's Kevin Ryan and H-Foley, everybody. Guys. Thank you. Thanks for coming back right out of the gate. The boys are looking healthy. Thank you. We're trying. Thank you, man. We're trying to follow your footsteps. You guys look rich. Yeah. You guys look fucking rich.

Lots of hormones and lots of supplements. That's what I just want. I'm like, I got to get down 20 and then I'm just going full Tommy Buns and I'm just going to start shooting myself up. Are you taking that vitamin T? No, I want to, dude. What's vitamin T? Testosterone. Oh, okay. Yeah, that's the next step.

I want it. That's what I'm getting to. I just got to get a little more healthy and then I'm like, I'm fucking going full board. Yeah. I'll be jacked. We are. Yeah. In. Just take the tea. Let's talk as soon as this is over. Yes. Okay. Yes. That's why I came down here. I need a plug. Let's get some. I got plenty of needles in my back. Are you actually even with your shirt cut?

color. You look alive. It's going to his head too though. He gets a couple of good compliments and he comes in with a bit of an attitude. Can I tell you something? That's addictive to you so it's going to make you want to keep going. That's why I like it. It's those epics. That's really what it is. It's leveled the playing field for me. You're down 50 pounds. Wow. That's how fat I am. You can't really tell that much.

This is also true. You know what I mean? Yeah. But here's the thing. It's going to be even more dramatic and not that long from now. I hope so. Yeah. In a little bit, people are going to be like, well, you really lost weight. And you're going to be like, yeah, just down 100. And they're going to be like, what the fuck? I know. Yeah. It's incredible. That's wild, dude. Thank you. So wait a minute. The OZ, it's working. Any side effects? Yeah. Yeah.

What is it? The main one is the burps. Burps? Buddy. Dude. I figured this was the place to talk about it. Yeah, of course. That's what we want to hear about. Genuinely the worst thing I've ever smelled in my life. I'm not even joking, dude. We were on the plane yesterday, or the other day. We sat together, and I had it really bad. And it's literally like you're burping up rotten eggs. Well, we get on the plane. And it just keeps doing it. Oh, on a plane. It's terrible. We get on the plane. And this is my best friend and the wife. We spend every day together. And typically, if there's a smell...

I know. I know what he admits. I'm being ridiculed. You know what I mean? It's like, I know what it is if he hasn't showered or whatever. You're like, I know all your smells. Exactly. So we're sitting there. We're on the plane. And we're right by the bathroom in the front. And the bathroom, there was something wrong with it in the beginning. Like, oh, we're waiting on pressure or something. So they were like, it's not really working right now. Oh, that's the worst. So then we're sitting there, dude. And it smells like we're in the air. I'm cranking these things.

out like every couple of minutes but you're doing like those kindly i'm doing this i'm doing the i'm doing the you know the fat girl in a bar you know what i'm talking about yeah dude and i thought there was a sewage problem on the plane because you don't know yet i don't know yet and i'm sitting next to him like man it's that foreign i know i get it doesn't smell human like it doesn't do you bring it up you're like man no i know that's why i thought i was getting away with it

And then we were at the fucking mothership on whatever, on Friday. And I'm like, this place has a sewage problem too? I'm like, this is crazy. I'm like, what is going on? And he goes, do you smell my burps? And I was like, no.

Oh, dude. That's dangerous. Did you want to puke when you found out it was his burps? Oh, and then he's like, I want to puke. He goes, do you think other people smell it? I go, the good thing is no one would attribute that to a human. So you're good. I've never seen anything like it. What are you eating? Do you think it's the diet? Baby diapers. Yeah, what are you eating? So you're obviously eating less. Yeah. That's a big thing. You're eating less. And to be honest with you, the first couple of weeks, I was like trying to

to just eat like what I would normally eat. Yeah. And then like not push through it. Like I was trying to beat the game a little bit. Sure, sure. But it didn't work. It just made me feel real sick. Yeah. So just more protein. You are. No candy, none of that shit. A lot of fruit. You just had candy out front. Are you eating? Nuh-uh. What'd you put in your mouth? That's a Ricola. It's a quaff drop. Are you eating eggs? Gotta keep an eye on that. Yeah, a lot of eggs. So that's what it is. He's burping up

No, it said that. It's so bad. It's crazy. You're burping farts up. Dude, it's insane, the level of this smell. It's pungent. They said no matter what you eat, it's going to, because your stomach slows down. So things sit in there a little longer. But you're eating protein, though. A lot of protein. Good. Yeah, a lot of protein, a lot of fruit. Nothing really after 8 or 9 o'clock. Drinking a lot of water. No sodies. It's not a fun hang anymore.

He used to be the guy who's like, let's get pizzas and burgers and beers. And I'm still like, we're on vacation this weekend. So I'm like, we're hanging out. I'm having drinks. And he's sitting there with a club soda. And I'm like, let's go get pizza. And he's like, no. But this is good stuff. I know. It's great. It sucks. I had one glass of white wine yesterday. And it doesn't hit the same anymore. It doesn't? No, it sucks. Why? What happened? Because the Osempis. What does it do? It's like drinking plutonium. He makes it sound like candy. It fucking sucks. It sucks. It sucks.

It sucks because I love getting fucked up. Yeah? Yeah. How about like edibles or something? Can you do that? Yeah, but then I start getting hungry and shit like that. Oh, right. Damn it. So you got to be sober now? Yeah, a little bit. That's the worst. What about like oxys or something? You know, get on some of those. He's already had a problem with those. Come on. What do you think we're doing here, buddy? Okay.

About to fake a back injury. Okay, so no booze? No booze doesn't work? It just doesn't feel the same anymore. It doesn't fucking hit me, and I don't want to keep drinking. Like, if I have, like, two or three drinks. It's good. I'm like, fuck. And also, I know I'm like, we're on the road. You got to stop. You can't live like that. Just constantly boozing and eating shit. Well, you're turning a new chapter, man. This is some good health stuff for you. Yeah, and you've just been sucking down fucking Bud Lights and eating flatbreads the whole time.

You're down also. I'm down. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm down. We were doing like a weight loss challenge. We've been trying it for, I mean, once the pod started getting some momentum, I'm like, I got to fucking keep this guy alive.

alive you know yeah yeah so it's like so yeah we were too we were trying my fat ass on stage i get out and dance monkey yeah so but we couldn't i mean we tried like i gave it was like i just lied to everybody for about a year and a half what did you tell him i was losing weight oh you did yeah the scale this that dude you know we gave him like a five thousand dollar incentive or something this is like early on when that was like you know a lot of you know it really would have fucking he really needed it

And, uh, he was like, we're like, you got to lose 15 pounds in like 60 days or something like that. And, uh,

We weighed him in like the week before the real weigh-in. We did like a, you know, let's see where you're at. And he was up like nine pounds. And he goes, I got it. I'll be, I'm like, you're not going to lose 36 and fucking in seven days. And he will just lie until he gets on the scale. It's an addict. Scored out a couple of tears. And he cried one episode just to get us off his back. Really? Yeah. Yeah. You're a master manipulator. Of course. You have no idea. So what was the breaking point where you decided to get serious?

They were busting my balls pretty heavily. Just like it's time to do it? I mean, for years, we were just circling the wagons of like... Come on. I'm like every order and every whatever. And I started to not feel well, if that makes sense. That's what it is. I could get away with being fat...

But then it got to like a critical mass phase. Yeah. Or like just like the bending and this and the knees are hurt. Right. And you're just like, no, no fuss shoes. Yeah. No fuss shoes. Yeah. I'm still rocking those. I know. I still got the shoe horn with me. Let's not get crazy. But I'm saying like those things all add up of like. Yeah. Yeah. It's inconvenient to move. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And like I was saying before, the wipe in the ass wasn't.

You know, I've never really had a conversation with someone. I've been curious about that. When there's a real big dude. Yeah. Like, what happens for ass wiping? It just becomes... The shower does a lot of the work. Really? A lot of dumping jumps. Yeah. Jump in and jump out. Because it's like the mobility isn't there. Yeah, getting back there. And if it's a tight spot...

You know what I mean? And like, it looks like I'm falling off a motorcycle. I don't want you by ass. So like a hotel room that you're... Oh, forget it. Bathroom. Jammed up. So you just go, I'm just going to get in the shower. Yeah. We went on vacation last year, me and my girl. We went to Paris and it was one of those European toilets. Oh.

Where like it wasn't really touching the ground. And I was just against the wall. And I'm like, one, I'm going to fucking break this thing. It's going to come out. I'm going to have to run to the embassy to get the hell out of here. And then two, I'm just like this reaching back there. And it was dicey. So you got to jump in the shower. And then when you jump in the shower, you still got to get back there. And it was tough to get back there. I got my leg up on the thing. I'm moving this. Oh, my God.

So it becomes a real inconvenience. It sounds like you're nine months pregnant. This is what it felt like when I was that pregnant. Because I gained so much weight with my first kid. I gained 80 pounds.

And, you know, and it happened so fast. My joints hurt, remember? I'd have to, like, flop down on the toilet because I was so heavy and big and my knees hurt. And it's such a quick time, too, really, to gain that weight in that amount of time. Yeah. Shocking to the system. Yeah. So it just got to the point. Damn. So you're like, just enough. Enough. That's what happened. You said, like, enough. Yeah. Yeah. And I just convinced my...

force myself to go and get the Ozempics. Great, man. That's fucking awesome. Yeah, he's doing fucking fantastic. It's great to see. He's even like, even on the road, he's got like a little more energy. He's like, all right, let's walk here instead of like, before it was like, how many blocks? What's going on? It was like, we,

Walk into a restaurant and have to figure out where we're sitting type thing. Yeah, that's still a bit of an issue. We ran into that yesterday. We went to a place. Yeah. And it was the fixed booths. Yeah, the booths are trouble. You gotta have some leeway on that table. You can't fucking hold everything to the ground. The first time I actually experienced this, I worked the road one time.

where I was put in this condo with this guy, the condo that was in northern Kentucky. They called it the Cincinnati Funny Bump at the time. Sure. It's in Newport, Kentucky. It's right over the bridge. And they put you in a condo. The condo was a two-bed, one-bath. And so I get there, and then the feature act shows up, a 600 pounds. Jesus. 600 pounds, right?

so i was like yo okay like i and i'm um we're roommates for the weekend bunk beds so the first thing was i was like you know uh i remember that he took a and uh the smell came through the walls i was in i was in my bedroom and i was like what the is that this place is on it then you know we do those thursday night shows

Friday morning, you know, I go to bed late. I get up.

And the door's locked, so I knock on the door. I go, hey, you in there? And he's like, yeah, what's up? I go, you want to go get something to eat? And he was like, yeah, all right. I'm eating right now. I'll do a second breakfast. For him to just get up and us to leave was about an hour. An hour? About an hour. So I was just kind of waiting. What is he doing? Is he showering? I mean, I don't know. But that's how long it took him to get out of bed. The thought of he's got to probably sit there for five minutes. Get dressed. All right.

So then I'm like, okay. So he had a, I was, I flew there for the gig. He drove there. That car had to be rough. So we got into, in that car. He's sitting in the back seat? No, he's in the driver's seat. And I'm in the passenger seat. It's like an older Buick. And I'm a big guy at the time. But I'm in the passenger seat. And I'm not kidding you. I'm against the window like this. And he's here. He's pressing on me. He's fully pressing on me.

like this right and i was like holy shit so i look up a place we park we go in and when i'm like yeah two and when uh and they're like okay and as we start to walk to the table i just turn around like this and i see that he's gone outside right so i was like uh oh hold on a second and i go outside he's opening the door i go what are you doing he's like it's only booths and he just got in the car

Like, he didn't even say anything to me. He's like, we can't eat here. Wow. So I was like, oh. Because it was a place that just had the shore. Which is stupid. Which I was like, yeah. Bad business model. Bad business. So I get in the car. Then we find another place that has chairs and tables. It's only high tops? Yes. Fuck. We sit down. Back in the car. To eat. And this is what killed me. He was like, you know, we're eating breakfast. And he's like, have you seen a.

John Panette lately? And I go, no, he goes, that guy's got to get his weight under control. And he starts eating like that. He just couldn't fit in a restaurant. And I was like, yeah, he goes, he's real big. And I was like, yeah. He just was. It goes back to that denial we were talking about. You're like, oh, the injury's not from my waist. I would have never mentioned the boost. I'd have been like, I saw a rat or something like that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I wouldn't have said, I can't fit in that boot. Bad ass place. Bad Yelp reviews. Bad Yelp reviews. Get out of here. You didn't see that? We got to get out of here. Yeah, yeah.

But the funny thing is, like, that is a thing that we all do is the thing that about you. You just find somebody else and you go, you've seen that guy. Guy looks like shit, dude. I've just been living with the next to him. It's like I'm never going to be. I'm like, I'm not him. Yeah, he's eating two cheeseburgers. I'm chill. I only I limited myself at one, you know what I mean? Yeah. And so it's tough. Like a swimsuit model.

That is so true. I'm walking around, I'm like, yeah. When Tom and I, the first pregnancy, remember when we would order dessert for breakfast? Always. We would order like three or four entrees. Well, I was already like a big dude and I was not, I was always eating too much and not healthy. Mm-hmm.

She gets pregnant, and she's like, I'm hungry. I was like, governor's off. Let's go. Yeah, yeah. And then every time she was like, I go, let's order two. Sure. I just use it as an excuse to eat way more. Sure. Way more. It's great, though. It was really fun, actually, to eat that much. Yeah. And then I would go to Carl's Jr. five days a week. Damn. And then on the alternate days, I'd go to In-N-Out. And I would be so hungry, and I would order extra barbecue sauce, extra onion rings, just eat in the parking lot. I was so fucking hungry. And you love the McDonald's...

Sundays. McDonald's Sundays. But we had to get them at 11 p.m. Yeah. So it was like, eat the whole Sunday and then go to sleep. And also, every breakfast thing, because I love breakfast. It's the best. Yeah. We would go to breakfast and I would always get like savory breakfasts.

And then I was like, let's get a waffle to like. Sure. Hell yeah. Sort of stable. Yeah. Like to, yeah, as dessert. Yeah. Lighten it up a little bit. Yeah. Yeah. Sweet. Yeah. Eating in the car is great. It's the best because you can be a total slob and a pig and nobody, I don't actually like eating in front of other people. No. When somebody pulls up next to you, you're like, oh, you feel like a detective. It's so wild too to like, I noticed this as I started to get healthier and

is that when you start to pay attention to what a normal, healthy person, the amount they eat. That's insane. When you're like, are you done? It's insane. It's like reading serving sizes. Yeah, it's just, I'm fine. And you're like, oh. And then you start to go, you see it more because you're paying attention more and you're like, oh, this is actually...

normal portions are what all these normal sized people eat. Sure. Like I've just been eating like a fucking maniac. Sure. I think it was in Larry David and Seinfeld on comedians and cars. They're like,

Yeah, the chef isn't giving you one serving size of potatoes. No. He's deciding, oh, here's just like fucking a half a plate of potatoes. And I'm going, well, that's what came. That's got to be what's authorized for me to eat at breakfast. Sure. This guy knows what he's doing. I can eat 900 calories of potatoes. I'm like, this is a balanced breakfast. This is what they're giving me. I'm eating it. They wouldn't give it to you if they didn't want you to eat it. Yeah. Yeah, exactly.

yeah you go to Denny's like it's a grand slam yeah like pancakes eggs bacon sausage Denny wouldn't lie to you yeah yeah why would Denny bend the truth he got really good at uh he got really good because we were we'd be on the road and you know there's we traveled like five of us so we'd be really fucking harping on you know and

Like, I get it had to be so annoying of like, sure, you're at the table. Everybody's like rolling their eyes. And I'm pulling up a chair to the end of the booth. Sure. I'm on the outside at a Waffle House. We got he couldn't fit in the book. Like, you can't fit in a Waffle House. But that's this. This ain't great. And would you go hard every meal? Were you like a big like you just would just like, how did I get this fat? I mean, like, sure. Yeah.

Uh, yeah. In away from prying eyes, I would say the public meals were big, bigger than usual. And then there was behind closed doors, private meals, nefarious activity. So we just crazy frighten you. What's the difference between indulgences? Crazy. What's public versus private meal? Like, give us an example. Let's say the Waffle House. You go there. There's people around. What do you order? Yeah.

People around where maybe a year before they're not really busting my balls. Yeah. You know, omelet, some home fries, sausage, OJ, coffee. So he had a system of order, and he'd be like, I'll just do the right away. You're like, this is going to be a loaded sentence. You know, like in Congress, they'll slip something in the bill? Yeah. Dude, I was fucking Mitch McConnell. Really? He was passing waterboarding torture. Yeah. He was like- Throw an 8 million erathion real quick. Yeah.

I'll do the Western omelet with the fries. That comes with baking. Let me add a side of sausage, a side of fruit, and then as he's handing it, and a bowl of chili. You know what I mean? So that's public. Yeah. So everyone's like, that's a hearty meal. Yeah. But you're a big guy, so I get it. But then, like, what's private? Behind closed doors? Yeah. Let's say my girl's at work.

It's the summer. The AC's pumping. Got Sopranos on. I got Sopranos queued up, ready to go. All right? Maybe season three. Everything's ready to go. Everything's ready to go. The couch has the... It's reclining. Yeah. Yeah. I'm ready to do nothing for the next eight hours. Mickey D's would be a Big Mac meal. All right? With a Sprite. And then...

Couple of walking around burgers. You know what I mean? A couple of two McDoubles and they would usually get modified. You know, they'd get modified. No pickles, Mac sauce, extra onions and calorie intake. Yeah. Three burgers, three burgers, and then either a McChicken or a 20 piece nugget.

And then if they have the specialty pie, I'm not crazy about the apple pie. Yeah. But if they're doing like a peaches and cream or strawberry and cream. Yeah. We're doing two of those. Okay. And a Sunday. So you're talking like four thousand, five thousand. Right off the rip. Sure. Yeah. If you want to add it all up. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's pretty wild. No McFlurry. I don't love them. I like a blizzard. How long does that hold you over for?

You know what I mean? Like you ate, that's a ton, right? So then... I mean, we're at the point now where I couldn't really tell you what hungry is. Right. Like actual hunger. Right. Like, you know, like now I know you know what it feels like to go to bed hungry. Hungry, yeah. And wake up and be like, fuck, I'm hungry and I want breakfast. Yeah. Which I'm just starting to...

Rekindle that feeling. Because your girl, I'm saying in this scenario, you ate all this, right? Like midday, no one's home. She gets home and then she's like, we're doing dinner. And you're like, let's go. Yeah. And I'm starving. I haven't eaten all day. I've been waiting for you. What are you doing? He's big on that. I haven't eaten all day. And I'm like, there's no fucking way. Right. Like, there's just no way. Because the McDonald's bag is stuffed at the bottom of the trash and there's wet paper towels put over.

There's no evidence. Wow. No one's going to go picking through that. You're very calculated, though. Puts a coffee filter on top. That's so calculated. So will your girl give you grief if she finds the bags? Sure. Yeah, 100%. Okay. Yeah. There was concern from all angles. Sure. And there was concern not to my face.

which was you know which bothered me the most i feel we were the oh oh oh you know what i mean maybe the hard concern to the we were like really playing defense we were like really in his fucking face and it's like i obviously it probably wasn't that but we you know we didn't go about it the best way of like you know just calling them fat that's what i'm used to yeah yeah yeah he gets off on it yeah do you like the negative no no it's just what i'm used to yeah just got dude he got him fatter if i'm being honest with you yeah but uh

Yeah, everybody was pretty concerned. But we were, like, really in his fucking face every day of, like... You got it. He'd be like, I'm ordering this. And people were like, get this. Or, like, we'd pick places on the road where we're, like... Behind closed doors, we're like, all right, he can get a salad here or something. You know, it's not, like, just a pizza place or something. He told me yesterday they would go in and stake places out to see if, you know, there was seats and shit like that. Yeah. Hmm.

Which I didn't know. Well, it's like, he's also my best friend. I love him. I don't want him to be the 600 pound guy walking back to the car and be like, that's shameful. And as a, I've been fat most of my life. So it's like, I've struggled with it. And it's like, I know how it feels. That fucking sucks. And I'm like, I don't, plus he's a bit of a diva when he gets in a bad mood. So I'm like, just keep them fun. Let's not, we got a six hour car ride through Texas. This is going to fucking suck. Yeah. Yeah.

I believe the chair's in that place. I know, yeah. And you're like, you have to go like, ugh. I know, man. Sometimes it would be like talking to a child. Like, you're like, yeah. Like, you're like in their land of make-believe, of going, I guess we're just suspending all belief that this is reality. Oh, yeah, that was crazy what they did in there, you know. Yeah. Keep it moving. Yeah, yeah. Well, you know, you know each other. This is a relationship. Sure. Yeah, it's a marriage. Yeah. Yeah. Speaking of marriage, while you were,

in the lobby, you saw that we were discovering some prison pen pal videos. Some really...

really cool and available suitors. And I think we should watch a few more, if you don't mind. Please. Let's get into it. What is this exactly? So this is an account where these gentlemen are allowed to record these- It's a website. Yeah, well- No, it's on Instagram. It's on Instagram, but it probably is linked to a site or something. I don't know. I think someone's- I don't know. I just uploaded. Somebody created an Instagram account for these gentlemen. Okay. And there's one for women, actually, too. Nice job.

Jesus, how is that not included? And you can meet inmates that want, quote, pen pals. You don't think I want to meet some chicks? What the fuck, man? Did I put a couple in the folders, although? Were there girls? No, we didn't have girls in this batch. You know why? Because they were kind of very...

Believe it or not. And these guys are a little more exciting. Yeah. The girls were a little more like, I actually want a pen pal. I don't really want to. So it's not like it's setting up for when they get out. Like, hey, when I get out, like some of them say that some of the guys do. I've seen the videos where they're like, you know, I got six more months and I'm just trying to meet some cool motherfuckers that are down loyal and shit. Sure. Meet me. Hit me up. So it's more of a pen pal thing. Yeah. Sure. Sure. Sure.

Oh, wow. What's up? My name is Rodney. I'm 6'3", 2'4". I love tattoos, obviously. Hey. Yeah, what up, dog? I like to draw. Okay. Looking for some females out there to hit me up. Hit me up. That's a straightforward... That was concise. I respect it. Yeah, I respect it. I mean, it is to the point. Again, this is the best version that Rodney knows of himself to present is...

what's up, I'm 6'3", 240, I draw. Hit me up. I don't think Rodney's getting out anytime soon. I think there's a lot of surprises. I hope not because I don't want to show up to a show and beat my ass. There's a lot of surprises in Rodney's wheelhouse. He is an older inmate, so I'm going to guess he's been in the system a lot already. He does conceal a lot. I would like to know more about Rodney. I like that he's creative, that he draws. He's dark and mysterious. I like that he draws. That's a really good skill to have. I don't think he's in there for check fraud. No. I think

It's not white collar crime. But I like him. He's aloof and mysterious. He seems sweet. He was sweet. He wasn't like hard. Like, what's up, pussies? He was fucking nice. Demure. The most hardcore dudes are like, what's up, dawg?

Yeah. They're the killers. The killers are chill. Yes. Very true. The quiet ones. And this guy's very quiet. Yes. He's like, wait, you think I'm a problem? Yeah. No, he's cool. He's the strong, silent type, Rodney. There you go. Well, Rodney's available. Let's move on to Robert. Let's see. Robert here. Hey, thanks for checking out my video.

My name is Bobby. I'm out here in the Idaho maximum security prison. I'm just looking for some friends and some pen pals. If I've sparked your interest, I'd really like to hear from you. I hope that you have a nice day and hopefully we chat soon. All right. Peace.

Another sweetheart, though. He's got manners. He's got manners. Clean-cut kid. Got that baby face. Baby face Bobby right here. Maximum security, though. That ain't great. That ain't fucking great. A lot of guys don't mention that. He's putting it out on the table. I'm Bobby. I like drowning babies.

I feel like he's fighting for his life in there. I'm at super max. You can look that up. I like defending myself with a broom handle. Solo shower. All these guys.

super violent path. I know, but then how do they play like, I'm just like this sweet guy? Is that denial? No, but that's what they become experts in doing. You don't need to worry about me. But that person's in there. They're just going, I'm just chill. I'm just here looking for a good time. Someone to talk to. This makes me more interested in, what was his name? The gentleman, Mundo? Yeah, Mundo. Mundo was fucking awesome. Who was like, look, straight up. Are you broken? Friends call me Mundo.

There you go. That's a straight shooter right there. Yeah, right? Yeah. He's like Gary Vee, dude. You a hoe, you ain't.

I love you, baby. I think Mundo actually has the best video. Sure. That's great. Funny, charismatic. Yeah. And he's also getting to it. He knows that there's a certain insecurity out there. Sure. He attacks it right away. Has anyone ever said you're trash? Well, let's be honest. He's looking for trouble. It's not the classiest people watching this. Your point. How dare you? I love you.

I'm in love with all of them. I love you, but I mean. You know what I like, too, about Mundo is that we know he's allowed to walk around with Jen Pop there. Uh-huh. So I sense that his crime might not be as violent as, say, Bobby. Or he might just be running the gangs. Yeah. He's probably got everybody paid off. He's got everybody on the payroll. Yeah. Yeah.

But then, am I worried about, why am I worried about levels of violence? Like, once you're there, aren't you kind of... Yeah, once you're there, you're there. I mean, it would be really cool if we could find out each charge or each conviction for each guy. Somebody who's that honest. He's so rad. What's up? My name's Jesse. Double homicides. They had it coming. Someone lied to me. I like loyal people that don't lie.

I guess it's taboo. So I also learned on the prison talks that I'm on, it's extremely taboo to ask what you're in for. Like, you know how in the movies, they're like, what are you in for? You're never supposed to ask another inmate what they've done. No, I thought they check your papers right away. Guess what? I do have what they're in for. No!

Really? Yeah. So this guy right here, he's incarcerated for battery, aggravated enhancement, and persistent violator. Raymundo? Yeah, Raymundo. Okay, so again, aggravated, battery. Battery, aggravated, and enhancement, persistent violator. Okay. That's what it says for him. So he gets into fights. Yeah. This guy likes to fight. Misunderstood, I would say. Yeah. Sure. You know. Who hasn't been enough? Sure. Who hasn't lost their cool driving? You remember Wingnut? Yeah. I got to go back to these. Wingnut was the- Yeah, we got to revisit.

was the really good artist here. Hello, hey, my name's Christopher. Everybody calls me Wingnut. As you can tell, I'm incarcerated. I'm just in here looking for people to write and get to know. Anyways, I love to draw. Here, let me show you one of my drawings. Cool. Dude, look how good that is. There you go. The three people he murdered. I see their face every time I close my eyes. Hit me up. I thought it was a friend. I can't escape these three faces. Yeah.

Wait, hold on. Don't tell us the charges. Let's see if we can guess the charges. This is a new fun game. It is fun. Arson. Oh, that's creative.

I'm going to go with sexual assault for some reason. Wow. Jesus. Heavy. That's, I mean, poor wingnut. But like a minor one. Like maybe he's exposing himself to people. Peeping Tom, maybe. Yeah. Foley. Arm robbery. He was incarcerated for drug trafficking and possession of meth and weed. Oh, that's nice. That's cool. Yeah, not a big deal. Guy likes to party, dude. Wingnut's my guy right now.

You're telling me Wingnut rolled into a party with a handful of meth, you wouldn't be like, let's fucking go? Yeah, he's fine. Wingnut, draw my picture. Remember this guy? 38, I'm an Aquarius. I'm from newly relocated Arizona. Relocated. Scary movies, heavy metal. Mountains and trees. I love snowboarding. I love poetry. A lot of music, lyrics. I love heavy metal.

So, I'm just looking for somebody to talk to, intelligent, good conversation.

Remember what I said about him? I was like, this guy's like super chill. Oh, he's the most... How does he have a watch and a hat on? Oh shit, you're right. He's real accessorized. I mean, he's just relocated. Probably in the move. Sometimes in the move you put things on. Sure. Yeah, relocated is a great branding term. See, here's my problem with Clark is that so far he's super articulate. He's got a pretty great sense of humor. He likes nature, dirt biking, lyrics to songs, and metal. So like,

He's pretty introspective. He's well-rounded. Yeah. He looks like he wandered into jail, I gotta be honest. He doesn't look like they grabbed, like, he looks like he's got a hat, he's got a fitted on. So, but the dark side of his force has to be pretty intense, because Tom was saying that he's got crazy charges. Well, I didn't say he's got crazy charges.

I said that my whole thing was not knowing what his charges were, but I'm like, oh, this guy presents very like. Which you might think there's a dark underbelly to that. Exactly. In other words, like I like snowboarding. Nature is one of my favorite things. Poetry is cool too. And you're like, okay. But you don't really know anything about the guy except that he's presenting that like these are some of my interests, you know?

So, okay, go ahead and guess. I say drugs? Yeah, drugs. I think it's just simple drugs. Burglary. All right, here we go. He is incarcerated for aggravated assault, secondary degree kidnapping, first degree murder, serving a life sentence for assaulting an officer and other inmate while in maximum security prison. Whoa. Whoa. Pretty serious. Clark is the hardest G in here right now.

That's why he's got a watch on. Yeah. They let him do whatever the fuck he wants. He's doing life. Life. Yeah. Clark. Man. You may have wanted to mention that at the time. Not going to be hitting the mountains anytime soon. Clark. Yeah. But it's weird, though. Does it say when he got arrested? No, it doesn't say when. Because these guys, I was just thinking, he said he's like comedy movies. These guys could be fans of yours. Oh, shit. You know what I mean? Clark.

Like, J-Water watching, you know, murderers and kidnappers watch Netflix. Yeah, that's true. That's true. They totally do. Yeah, that's pretty cool. Hey, what's up? I'm Levon. I'm looking for my next heartbreak. Nah, I'm just playing. I'm just looking for a pen pal to keep me company, maybe catch a vibe with. I'm real now because I got tattoos and I'm locked up. I'm real because I'm honest, loyal, dependable. I made mistakes. I've had setbacks, but I learned from all of them. So when I get out, I'm ready to just settle down and have a good life. If you feel my vibe, J-Pay me already.

Got a lot of prison slang. You know?

You know, he's all right. Setbacks. I'm here to vibe. I'm getting out. White, white dudes like that always have a very good vernacular. Yeah. Like, you know, I'm raw dog. I'm fucking, they always got something to say how loyal, how strong they are. It's always, man. Trust me. Yeah. That was like an MTV audition. It really was. But what that signals to the females is stability, safety, security. Make me feel safe. Sure. Gosh. So I'm,

He's kind of a goofball because he's like, nah, I'm just playing. So he's not a convicted murderer. I don't think so either. He's definitely said blood is thicker than water. I know. He's definitely yelled that in a bar somewhere while taking his shirt off. Only God can judge him. Grand Theft Auto. I'm going to go for Cars. That's nice. Because he said he's getting out soon. So it can't be murder, kidnap. That's all off the table. I'm going to go check fraud. Ooh.

He seems like a guy who probably stole his aunt's checkbook and wrote it to himself or something. I'm going to go even lower. Parole violation. All right. How about that? I like this. This is fucking fun. All right. I love that. Parole violation. Here we go. It is. He's incarcerated for aggravated DUI and burglary. But you know, DUI, come on. Thrift. Give me a break. Burglary. What's that? Ag assault standard, right? Yeah. Come on.

That's a bad night. My name is Rodney. This is the real, let's see. I love tattoos, obviously. Hot Rod. Looking for some females out there to hit me up. He's stone cold. He's been around, he's been in the system for a long time. So he's recidivism, as they say. Recidivist.

Shit. He's in gangs. Drugs. I'm going to go drogas again. Interesting. Theft. He does have cartel muscle vibe. And those two tattoos on the side, I believe, are bullseyes or targets. I think they're something. Does that mean something? They're two, like, pentagram-type looking things. They're not butterflies. I know that. The scariest thing is the over the eye down to the cheek. For sure. That's the scariest tattoo anyone can have. Yeah, and the soul patch is...

Can I tell you guys something? Go ahead. As far as attraction, I'm the most attracted to Rodney. He's good looking. Yeah. Well, maybe it's the bald with the beard. Scott's trying to make it about me. You make it about Rodney. He's got no eyebrows. He's hard as fuck. This guy will protect you. Isn't that funny? Women will be like, ooh, that guy's like, look at that guy. He's an animal. And then they go, oh, he's pretty hot.

Yeah, it's hot. Yeah, but I mean, you do that with chicks. But hardcore chicks? Yeah, I guess so. I don't know. I think it's different. Like suicide girls? Yeah, you just see some girls all tatted up. See? What about Tina? Your love of your life, Tina. Sure. My alter ego. Yes, exactly. You love her. Yeah, but I think that they lie about it more is my point. They'll be like, oh my God, that guy is like a fucking gangbanger. And then you're like, yeah, I know. And then they're like, he's pretty hot.

It's hot, dude. Rodney's hot. I hate to say it. I'm going to go murder. For sure. It's got to have a kidnapping in there, right? For sure. Peppered and a little flavor. Christina? Definitely murder one. Murder one. First degree. Oh, you just ruined it. You.

You already had your guess, and now you added murder one. Oh, I'm sorry, did I? Yeah, you guessed it. You got real law and order on it. Did I? Manslaughter two. You guessed already, and then you just added this. Okay. Well, I mean, I'm just getting to know him in my mind. Okay, well. She's running away with him right now. He's got a real premeditated vibe. Before you spoke again.

This wasn't an accident. Before you spoke, your original guess was correct. Trafficking, meth, and marijuana. You said drugs initially. Oh, drug us, yeah. So that's it. That's it? That's all he has? Drug charges? Yeah. What is trafficking anyway? You got a bag on you? No. A certain amount of weight and movement. And movement. So you're going over state lines, county lines. Could have been a bachelor party or something. It could have been. Dude, that guy's not going on a bachelor party. Yeah, I mean, here we go.

He's got some meat hooks on him. He does. He's got what? Meat hooks. Hey, he strangled somebody with that thing. But no tattoos. Maybe on the hand he's got one?

but no tats. And Bobby could work at Starbucks. He looks totally normal. It's weird because it looks like he's in the equipment cage at a gym or something like that. It should be like a bunch of dodgeballs. That's what he thinks. I'm in the gym here about to rent out some stuff to the boys. Jump ropes. Some medicine balls. I'm going aggravated assault. He's violent, sweet Bobby. He's big. No one's that big without some sort of loose cannon ability.

I want to say just a bad night, a fight. Yeah. Can I go aggravated assault? I got to pick something different. But this is maximum, you guys. This means if he's- He said he's in maximum prison? Yeah. He's killed somebody then.

No, not necessarily. That's a high level felony. I think you're not. You're not doing it. But you can do I get you to do you. I know way. But maximum security can be just just a doesn't have to be violence. OK, but it does have to be a serious felony. He does have bad drug dealer vibes, though, like that drug dealer you had in college. You were like this idiot's going to get caught. Yeah, he does have that. Nothing personally against you, Bobby. Hold on. I've got a sweeter story for Bobby.

maybe his stepdad was beating up his mom and he's like i'm gonna kill this motherfucker because bobby's like a good dude at his heart like sweet bobby face he doesn't have tats or nothing like

I don't know, dude. Maybe he killed his stepdad for being a bitch. All right. But can't you get off on that a lot of times? You can sometimes. But I got to say, Foley, you had the best instincts. Thank you. I wish we had more details, but it's simply possession of controlled substance. So give him fucking Max for that. Well, it probably is. And it's not telling me here, but it's probably a lot of it.

Yeah. So it's probably a huge amount. Or it could have been like his fifth time getting arrested or whatever. And they're like, we're throwing the book out. Yeah. But hold on. Your behavior also dictate what level of security? No, not for maximum. Well, you can get violent. Well, yeah, that could happen. You can get transferred. But I mean, you could have somebody up in there. You can get a serious enough charge.

Even if it's drug related, to be sentenced to a maximum security. Plus, maybe in those Midwest states, they throw in a book at you. Yeah, yeah. Maybe. Put you in the super... Drugs? Yeah. Drugs is like... I couldn't do jail at all. One more. Oh my God, I don't. You ready? I'm ready. Okay. What's up? My name's Rick. My number's... Hit me up on JPEG. I got about eight months left.

I like fast motorcycles. Fat girls with pretty feet. Yeah! I hope that I can make you smile, make you laugh. When it's time, make you squirt. So if you're a freak, you want a freak, or you just want to squirt, get at me. Show me some love. Hopefully we work something out. That's what's up. There you go. Dude, he's straight up. He's like, I want to make you squirt. Yeah. Fat girls with nice feet. Yeah, that's what's up, dude. Hell yeah, dude. I like this guy a lot.

You like squirting on a motorbike? Give me a call. These guys have nothing to do all day but write. They could have just spent eight hours writing this. Yeah. And that's what he comes with. He got to it. He got there, yeah. He did it. Fat girls, pretty feet. You want to squirt, ride a bike. Such a specific. Yeah, yeah. Because most fat girls don't have great feet.

I know because that's a fat guy, but you know. Yeah, yeah. I think there's a lot of pressure on them, the dogs. Yeah. There's a lot of weight coming down on those. A lot of hammer toes and shit. But also Richard, good for Richard for knowing what he likes. Sure. I like it. And I also like how he's got one hand up on the phone. He's like, girl, it's a secret. You know what I'm saying? I'm going to tell you some shit. It's like he's chatting you up at a ball.

Yeah. He is. He's leaning over you. So you come here often lately? You want to squirt? And I'm a huge fan of knuckle tats, as I've said on this show a lot. It's cool. I think they look hard as fuck. How attractive do you find him versus the other guy? No, I like Latin. What's his name? Rodney. Rodney's Latin, right? Yeah.

No, I'm not into white boys. I mean, Rich is great. He ain't Irish, I know that. I don't like, you know, crackery. Okay. This is assault. Assault? He's too big. He beat the fuck out of some guy. Yeah, he fucks some... He probably fucked like three dudes up. And made out with their fat girlfriend. Huh. Richie. What'd they get you for, buddy? He bashed some skulls, dude. Yeah, he beat the fuck out of people, dude. Yeah. Um...

The squirt line. Does that work on women? I think. Someone's got to be like, fuck yeah, I love squirting. Sure. But that's specific to a woman, right? Like only certain women do that. Squirters. Yeah. Right. He's got a niche market. All right. He knows what he's doing. Using chat GPT on a college final, maybe? Yeah.

Plagiarism. Simple thing, man. Aggravated assault, sure. Alright, here we go. This is what is known as a bevy of charges. Incarcerated for intimidating, threatening, or harassing a witness. And possession of a controlled substance.

Pretty serious. Tell anybody about this, I'll fucking kill you. A witness. A witness. So drug-related and intimidation. So he probably, he got pinched. With a handful of people. And then somebody else, and he was like, I will fuck you up. And then they found out about that. Yeah.

I like that. Yeah. I do too. Loyalty, bro. Yeah. Word is bound, dude. I would go up to some witness and be like, the fuck, bro? Well, I think if you're about that life, I think if I was a criminal, I would just be like, I'm all, I'd go full psychotic and be like, I'm all in. Why am I pussyfooting this? Have you ever had a, let's go. You know, a sickler story about this? No. I love sickler.

Dude, Sickler. I'm getting details wrong on this, and it's definitely out there, so I'm sure you can find it, but he got jury duty and was put on a drug murder case. Fuck that. And at one point, they're like, the guy that's on trial, I think it was a Mexican gang member, it's on trial for that, and there was intimidation going on, and then at one point, Ryan's like,

asked to speak to the judge and the judge was like has this thing where they're like are you Ryan Slickley that resides at one thing he's like could you not like giving out his address he's like

Now I moved a couple of weeks ago. This is protocol. We got to read you. He's like, don't read the fucking address. That's crazy. Yeah. As a juror on a fucking serious drug murder case. If you were, let's say, let's say you weren't doing as well as you're doing and you were on jury duty. Like go back 15 years and you're on like a major case like that and you were approached by somebody. Listen, we're not going to hurt you.

Here's $2 million. $2 million? Something like that. Take the money. I'm done. Easy. $2 million. How do you not get in trouble for taking the money, though? No, you would get in trouble. Oh, yeah. You'd get jammed up. Get the hell out of there. Then you'd have to intimidate some witnesses. Yeah.

Really? That's what you got to do. That's what you got to do. No, I'd find a way to make that shit legal. Like, there's got to be a way to accept money. No, there's not. There's no way to make it legal. It's a definite huge crime. I'd find a way to make it legal. Can't we launder the money? Put me on payroll, will you? What if it's a business loan? What you could do is you say you want, okay, I'm just using a number. You say, all right, give me $2 million. All right, here's $2 million. Then you immediately the next day go to the judge and say, hey, this guy offered me $1 million. Okay.

Who are they going to fucking believe? You, Johnny Honest, who just brought back a million dollars? You'd have a mark on your forehead. That guy's got two million to spend. He's got more to come after you. This is spoken like the guy that hides the McDonald's bag. Sure. At the bottom of the trash can. Put the system on trial. Spin it all around. Like how your brain works. I don't think the cartel would be as forgiving. They'll look under the wet paper towel to find the McDonald's.

You'd have to do something. You'd have to move. It has to be enough money to relocate. You've got to disappear. What are you doing? Disappear. Yeah. But you could disappear in Colombia. The thing is that they wouldn't. What, right under their nose? The real problem with it is that, like, fat guy walking around with a bunch of hamburgers. Whatever the offer is, let's say it's a lot less than $2 million, you basically got to say yes to the offer. That's the problem. Somebody approaches you in that situation who's like,

trying to bribe a juror and they're that serious and it's like for somebody who's like a cartel if they were like we'll give you 50,000 to like do this you can't be like you know I'd really rather have they'd be like hey man

It's 50 grand. They're going to come back and kill you anyway. Right, right, right. Once things cool down, you're not spending that money. Because that's just a loose end. How about I just be like, dude, don't pay me. I will shut the fuck up and disappear from your life. Like, do you know what I'm saying? Like, I wouldn't take the money. I'd be like, no, say no more, dude. I'm not putting you away. Yeah, I would just yell out something like,

in the courtroom. So that's how they say. Yeah, but that doesn't work for the arrangement you have with the Sicario. I would just think I'm no longer on. They would just hold me in contempt. That's not helping him out, though. Who? The guy. The drug guys. Yeah. You're just making another problem. Now they got to go intimidate that guy. Well, the other alternative is he pays me two million and kills me or I don't take it and he kills me. I think you're dead anyway. Yes, that's what I'm saying. I think you got to play ball. They can get you in jail, though.

Yeah. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Take the money and try to try your best to hide. No, you can't hide from the cartel. Don't take the money and just be like, I got you. That's what you say. As soon as they're like, you know, we want to be like, I got you. What do you want me to do? And it's not a problem. Oh, dude, I'm such a pussy. I'm happy to do this. Such a pussy. Yeah. By the way, I was doing not guilty before I even met you. Yeah. You got a good face, buddy. This is set up all the way, to be honest with you. There's no way. Did I see you on J-Chat or whatever? Yeah.

My fucking car got stolen not too long ago. And they brought me in with the guy. They caught the guys at the same time. And they brought me in with the fucking guy. So I'm standing in the police department. What are they here for? They're stealing his car. And they look at me like, what dude?

I started like looking at the plaques on the wall and shit. I'm like, oh, Detective Sullivan, how you doing? I was shitting myself. Yeah, keep the car. Just standing there next to them. I'm like, they live in my neighborhood. By the way, you said I was looking at the plaques on the wall? Yeah. I thought you said I was looking at the plaques on the wall. No, no, no, no, no. I was like, oh, that's the best way to approach this. I'm not all these plaques. Jesus Christ. No. They all want it? Jesus.

They're all decorated officers. Oh, shit. Okay. Wait, so were they like kids? Yeah, 17 and 18. And then they weren't pressing charges. They can't press charges. By the way, when I was in New York, I did Are You Garbage? Yes. Again, I had the best time at the best fucking studio. You guys have a whole impressive team. You've got to go to New York. I know. I've got to go to New York. We'll fly up. I was worried about tiptoeing around anything in here because I don't want to know anything until you get home. I don't want to. You're going to have...

You're going to have so much fun. I can't wait. With her level of trashiness. I know, I know. It's so good. We also feel like you're hiding a lot. You do? Yeah. Him? Which is why we want to get to her. Him? Intimidate the witness. Dude, this guy is fucking...

toast vanilla. Like, no, dude. Really? Dude, he's got, he's like. What do you think I'm hiding? I don't know. You got something in your eyes that says there's more back there. Well, that's darkness. It's emotional. That's what it is. He's beat us twice. But it's not trash. He's not trash. Yeah, it's not. It is darkness, but it's not. I'm not hiding like how I grew up when

Yeah, you hold yourself to a high standard. He's all class. He's so class. He taught me to be class. He's the only one that came back twice and was all class. Ari came back a second time to redeem himself. It was worse. It was worse? Yeah. He wore a purple suit and ate a hard-boiled egg in front of us. Oh, my God. Ew. That's terrible. Shout out to Ari. Yeah.

Well, we're super. We can't wait. Did you have Lauren Compton on? Yeah, just last week. She was great. She was great. She was fun. Trash. Yeah. Yeah.

Insane. Hardcore. Yeah, it was really fun. Oh, that's great. Yeah, she was a Hooters waitress. She was? Yeah. That's how she got her start. She thought a Chrysler Crossfire was a sports car. Yeah, she goes, my first check. We go, any stupid purchases? She goes, well, I did buy a sports car. We're like, okay, well, she goes, a Chrysler Spitfire or whatever. Yeah. And we pulled up a picture. I'm like, that's a PT Cruiser. Get out of here.

That's hilarious. He's like, I bought a sports car and I got out of town and drove to LA. Well, this reminds me. We were talking about you're going to get a car. What did you end up getting? Did you get something? I did get something. What'd you get? I got a Mercedes. Okay. Used. Okay. Not certified pre-owned. Did everything work out with the fucking loan?

Yeah, well, I used, you know, I bypassed the proper dealership, you could say. And I used Carvana. Okay. Which gets a lot of, I think they were going bankrupt as I was buying it. I'm like, well, if they do go bankrupt, they might.

pass my note to someone else. 100% they will. And I get it. I can settle up with them for pennies on the dollar. Sure. They will sell that debt. Sure, of course. So they were like, they're going under, and I'm like, this might be a chance to get it. That's the vending machine, right? Yeah, the vending machine car did. All right, well, congratulations. Thank you. Are you happy with your vehicle? Yeah, I am. It's great. I got one of the smaller SUVs. Great. It's awesome. It's great. I'm not that happy about it. You're not? No. Why not? He's got a Mercedes. Yeah. And it's what? Tonight? He's too bougie now? I don't know.

He's mad because he doesn't have a Mercedes. Oh, I got you. What do you have? A Jeep Cherokee. Oh.

Hold on, though. You can be garbage and still drive a Mercedes. My mother was extreme Euro trash, and she drove a Mercedes. Mercedes. Mercedes. Good car. Very nice. Was it white? Was it a white Mercedes? No, it was beige. Okay. Close enough. But foreigners, especially Eastern Europeans, love Mercedes. Oh, yeah. They're garbage people. Charlie drives a Mercedes now. I got it for her. Mercedes. Good car. It wasn't that expensive. It was like, I could get like a, you know, I don't know. It was like 40 grand or 36 grand or something like that.

that i'm pretty sure it has flood damage are yeah i love them i love and i'm happy for him no he's not nice no no no i've got a vending machine no they come and drop it off and go to a vending machine you get the car from the vending machine no yeah they did give me the option they like mail you a token and then you go and like put it in and pick it up or whatever it's a claw machine

Just get whatever you get. So are you going to switch up? Are you going to do something? No, I got a lease. It's not up for a couple of years. Oh, okay. But when it is up, you're going to one up on my hope. I don't know. What? I don't know. I'm trying to be very thoughtful about all this. Okay. He's so not, by the way. So not being thoughtful. I got jammed up in an apartment. You know what I see you in? I think it would be fucking like the big guy, great vehicle. Yeah. Something like a Denali. That's what I want. They're too big to have in the city, though.

Yeah, they're way too big to have in the city. Tahoe. You can't even. I like a Tahoe. Yeah, cool. I could see you in that. I like an Accord. Nice Honda Accord. Sensible car. It is a very sensible. And they'll go for like 200,000 miles. You remember the old Camrys, like the 96 Camrys? I had a 95 Accord. Those Accords were relentless. 95 Accord that you could run it forever. Yeah. It's actually a great, and it drove great. I mean, everything was like fantastic.

put together in that thing. They're great cars. Dude, my mom had a Toyota Tercel 1980. Oh, man. Was it the hatchback? Yeah, bro. Those things stunk. No, bro. This one we had from 1980. We shipped it to Budapest, kept it in an outdoor garage during the snow and the weather and everything. And that thing ran until like the late 90s. It was crazy.

Crazy. What are you doing in Budapest? My family's from there. That's how it was Eastern Europeans. You shipped it to her cell. Yeah, we shipped it to her cell. That's crazy. Yeah, because we used to have an apartment there, just like a small. And so yeah, you have your car there. So like my dad remarried to a Hungarian woman. So they would go like once a year back to Budapest.

Okay. So they just sent it there to have it when they went back there. All right. Because it's hard to come by cars in a post-communist country, too. You can't really just buy them. Go cop a used car. Yeah, it's not like it is here. I mean, back then. I'm sure now it's different. Here's a real quick horrible or hilarious. This is just, I show you a video. Please. You tell me, is it funny or is it really sad? Whoa! By the way, this was sent in by Connor Swindles, fan of the show. I've actually seen that one before. You've seen it? Yeah. Yeah.

What happens there exactly for the listeners? You want to tell me? It's bumper cars, right? Go-kart. Go-kart. Oh, go-karts. And one guy pops up on them and it severs his finger immediately. Immediately. It's like it just fell off. Yeah, it's actually, I don't even understand how it happened. At least it was a clean cut. They might even be able to re-put that back on. So the description here is that this...

The man in the video is a professional go-kart racer. But he's at a bachelor party with his friends. He says people like to crash into him because he's a pro. Oh, dickheads. Yeah, part of his finger got cut off. I think the rail of the other got up and hit him. Yeah, it pushed down. It just severed it on the steering wheel. Fuck, dude. That's fucking gnarly, dude. I think that's a...

Bro. Full four votes for horrible? Are you stopping and going? Are you getting out of that thing and getting it? You got to get the win first. You got to get the checkered flag. Sure. You got to go for the gold. You got the professional. It's a bachelor party. Yeah. I think he's probably looking for his finger, though, right? Oh.

What if someone ran it over? Like, that's like dirty. That's on the floor. That's not great. But in terms of injuries on these videos, this is probably the one you want to get. It just snaps clean off, like you said. You probably don't even feel that shit happen. There is a chance you can reattach that. For sure. Yeah, that was like surgical. They get it on ice. I don't know. You got to get out of the park. Those parking lots are huge. Who knows where you park? Then you got to get to some small town hospital. Ugh.

No, but they're pretty, I think the time on, if you get it on ice pretty quick, now the times you have like, you don't need to do it in 15 minutes. I mean, it's a slushie. It's not on ice. It's in a blue raspberry slushie. Let's do this other one here. I see four laps. Hold on. That might have just been a part of the show. That was the closure. Did he make it?

That looked like it smushed him. No, but he broke through the stage, right? Like a cartoon. Here's the craziest part. Not only did he survive, minor injuries and bruises to the face. That's it. What? That means it's a cheap set. Talk to your...

That looks like there's not a chance he survives. But he's fine. He's definitely fine. Holy fuck. Holy shit. I've found that the audience likes it a lot more when they live. I didn't know that. Oh, of course. Because we've played a lot of these. Fucking psychopath. And a lot of times... You're so unmoved by it. So unmoved. They're like... Oh, apparently normal people don't like that. What? He didn't die? This is bullshit. See, you guys are wondering what's behind these cold eyes. It's that. Yeah. There's not trash. There you go. It's psychopathy. Okay. It's the darkness. It's the darkness.

No. The shadow. You're like, no, here's another guy who died. What about this one? You have a scroll of death. I do have some that are, some people say they're unsettling. But yeah, a lot of people don't like it. It's very strange. That one was all right, though. That was horrible. Thank you. Did you get, what is this here? I don't know what this one is. Maybe. Oh, yeah. We had this one.

That's the machine. The machine's got this guy pinned, and then watch what happens here on the right of the screen. They're going to help this person, but then... Watch what happens here. Someone else gets pinned in that machine. The panic in that factory, I can feel.

And they don't have any sensors or buttons to like emergency ones. I like the screams. I think the screams are funny, but I, you know. Okay. That's way, that's not, that's tough for me because you just see them suffering. Yeah, yeah. It's not just like they get hit in the head with a board or shot. Like, that guy's just screaming. But the repetitiveness of the screaming is funny. That's insane. Where he's like, ah, ah. But I mean, how does this not bring a smile to your face? Ah!

Packages were late that day. Yeah. Thanks. Oh, that I'm okay with. Hysterical. And I'm going to tell you why.

Second time. Oof. And he's like, they like that. Those videos drives me. I hate that. I know you love cars. I don't like this at all. Fucking hate that. I don't like this at all. And they fucking do it at like an intersection out of nowhere. Yeah. Jam everybody. The big one that just happened with the truck. Yeah. The truck, the black truck. That cop was not fucking around. That was fantastic. It was in, was it Philadelphia? No, no Atlanta. It's in Atlanta. Yeah. It was in Atlanta. Uh,

Oh, through the store. Yeah, the cop does this pit maneuver. So this guy's doing donuts at the intersection. Now, the first, yeah, well, that one, he does it and you see him doing donuts. And then the video is so great that the one that was posted that went viral,

Because the person doesn't ever wait. You know, like a lot of these videos, you're like, oh, fuck, it drops out of frame. And they're narrating the whole time. And they're like, oh, here come the cops. And then that cop, it was like a movie. I mean, that is not the one. But there's great video of it where that cop jumps out like it's scripted. Comes out of nowhere, too. Yeah. He does it in the intersection. I haven't seen anything about this. Scroll down. It might be that one.

Right? Doing that shit through interstate. Run somebody over. Run people over. Yeah. Great, perfect pit maneuver. Cop jumps out. Watch this. Whoa. Jumps up, reaches in. That's the narration. Drags him out, and then real quick flips him over.

Spank some on the tushy. Yeah, he seemed like a young kid, like a younger kid. A couple of weeks from now, you're going to hear, hi, I'm Andy. I like poetry. I get out in a few years and...

I like trucks. Recently relocated. Yeah, recently relocated. To Arizona. I'm just getting out in eight years. All right. So you got to see the boys. They are on tour, the Stay Trashy Tour. You can get tickets at rugarbage.com. So fun. As always, it's great to see you guys. Thank you, guys. It's so good to see you. We love you both. You look fantastic. I can't wait. We got to get into New York. I'm going to do it. I promise. Whenever. Please. Agent Jeans, book me a show. There you go. Let's go. All right. We'll see you guys next time. Thank you. Peace.

I need to be fucked a lot.

In from jail. Do it. Do it. Do it. Do it. Dog. Dog. In from jail. Fuck dog. Fuck us. Fuck, fuck, fuck us. Do you want to fuck a piss on me? Do you want to fuck a piss on me? Piss on me. Beat me. Try it out. Piss on me. Beat me. Try it out. In from jail. In from jail. Fuck, fuck.

It's something you need to try it out. It's something you need to try it out. It's something, it's something hard to do it. Hard.