Tom's New Glasses | Your Mom's House Ep. 722
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This week on Your Mom's House... And he was mad that my mom died during his vacation. Standard. That's a good move. Why do you have to sniff it first? I don't want to give it the sniff test. Like, I feel like you get visuals enough. Why do you have to sniff it first? If you made me wake up at 4 a.m. for our vacation flight, I would fucking put a bullet in your head. Welcome. Welcome to your mom's house. Welcome.

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Coming to you from Austin Tejas, now in 4K, it's your mom's house, Palmcast. I'm Tom Ham Sandwich Segura, sitting here with Christine. How you doing? I'm feeling good. I'm feeling jazzed up. I love the heat. I'm out there like a lizard. Yeah. Swimming in the lakes. Not a big deal, the heat. I think all you have to do is stay indoors six to eight hours a day and you're fine. Yeah.

You're fine. Well, there is a nice window between 4 a.m. and 6.30 a.m. That feels good. Perfect. Yeah. So what are you crying about, everybody? After 10 p.m., it also feels good outside. Yeah. It's totally fine. It's totally fine. Great. So.

Okay, we have some dates to prug because we're going to both be doing shows. Why don't you go ahead and start? More pressure. You are going to be in Toronto. In Toronto. Your home nation. I know. September 7th at the Bluma Apple Theatre. I'm so pumped to do Canada finally. September 8th, Jisenpeg, Winnipeg, Canada. Yeah.

September 14th through 16th, Comedy Vax, Denver, downtown. Those tickets are almost totally gone. We're going to add shows. I think Summit Showroom at the Venetian Resort in Las Vegas. Let's see if you get into gambling. October 7th, maybe. I'm definitely going to go see some strippers and stuff. Wise Guys, Shark Lake Titties, Pootah. You're already cute.

And then San Jose Improv, October 15th. And then Comedy Club on State in Madison Jizz-Conson, October 26th. ChristinaPOnline.com for tickets. Also, if you haven't purchased my lipstick, please do so because it's fucking rad and everyone likes it. Awesome. Where am I going to be? I have a couple shows coming up. The Chelsea at the Cosmopolitan in Las Vegas, Nevada. Wow. Doing some shows there. Stop fucking it.

And I am also going to do a show at the Fallsview Casino Resort in Niagara Falls. That's in Ontario on the Canadian side of the border. Hell yeah, dog. That's in November. You can get tickets. I don't think there's many left. So if you want to get to that show, you should probably...

Get those tickets now. Ontario, that's where your mommy was born. Windsor. Beautiful Windsor. I'm a Windsor native. Beautiful. I've been there. That's what I hear. I've done a show at Caesars Windsor. It's fucking stunning.

That's what I hear. You're from an absolutely majestic place. Yeah, there's no irony. It makes sense that I was born there. Oh, I mean, I've been to some cities. And I'll tell you, Ontario, Windsor's at the top. What's the equivalent in America? To Windsor? Windsor. New York, you know?

Paris, Milan, Windsor. No, I'm being serious because I haven't been back since I left. What's the equivalent? Wichita, Kansas maybe? Really? Dang. Yeah, I don't know. Toledo, Ohio. Oh, Toledo, yeah, sure. I've been there. I get that reference. Cool places like that. Springfield, Missouri. Perrysburg, Ohio. Short pump. Short pump. Short pump in Virginia, yeah.

Shout out to Short Pump. I remember it. Yeah. I'm so pumped to be here, though. It's nice to see you, to see your beautiful face. Yeah, it's great to be here in the studio in Texas doing the show, not having to come in six days in a row so that we can do other stuff. It's great to be doing it at this pace. At a normal, leisurely pace. It's awesome. So much better. I love doing the show. I think everybody does. Everybody likes doing the show like this. So much better.

Let's go ahead and open the show. There's a white man that looks like he's walking towards me right now, and I don't know for what. How you doing? How you doing there, sir? I'm good. My name is Bobby. How you doing, Bobby? I want to suck your dick. What? I want to suck your dick. No. No.

No, sir. Yeah. Bobby! Hey! Wow. Mom Segura. No, no. No, no, no, no, no. No, no.

Oh, man. Poor Bobby. I know. How often does that happen to you? Not a lot. Not enough. No, not enough. And then, I think there's more. Hold on. Oh. Is your truck all right? Yes, my truck is fine. Yeah, my truck's cool. Yeah. My truck is fine. Nice older gentleman. I'm just on the phone with my managers. Oh, my God.

All right. I'm bisexual. I love women. Oh, yeah. Well, I'm not anything like that. OK. That's all right. I didn't know. I had a guy from Clark's, Charlestown. Yeah. Well, hold on. We discussed last week the bisexual men are cats. I know. This is really interesting. Then he does the thing where he's like, I like women, too. Yeah. You know, it's interesting. It's like he's like, it's like a dick.

And the guy's like, no. He's like, I mean, I still like chicks. Yeah. You know? Because he's trying to relate to the guy. Like, you like the same stuff I like. Yeah, yeah. You like the Mets. I like the Mets. I had a boss like that. I had a boss like that. He wasn't bi. He was openly gay. And he was like, I was very young. I was 21. And he's like, oh, yeah. I mean, he was flamboyantly, you know, like very gay.

like swishy. Yeah. And, um, he was like, yeah, you know, like you like football. And I was like, yeah, I do like football. He's like, yeah. Like, so I like, you know, it's why I'm watching football with guys. Cause you know, it's like, you watch the game, I'll suck your dick. You drink a beer. It's like, and I was like, cool. You know,

He was waiting for me to be like, for real? Yeah. And I was like, uh-huh. But when he puts it that way in his defense, it is like a nice bonus. It's like he's like, just come do all your favorite stuff at my house. Yeah, it'd be cool if you want to come over and do that. It'd be no thing. It'd be no sweat. I like Cool Ranch Doritos. I like football. And then you get to come. Yeah. Yeah.

Why didn't you say yes? Yeah, I was just like, yeah, every part of it sounds cool, except for the fact that you're a guy. That's the only hang up I have here. God, you're so closed minded. I know, I know.

See you later, Bob. And what's cool about Bob is like... Bob's an older guy. He's wearing his house slippers. That's what I'm saying. He lives in one of those houses. And he dressed up real nice. Look at that guy's face. He wore his nicest wife beater and the house slippers.

And his boxer shorts. Like, he saw this gentleman and ran out as fast as he could. Well, the way that it

went down, this wasn't like, oh my God, I'm going to say something I've never said before. Right. Bobby's always like, oh, there's a truck up there. Hold on a second. He has a routine. Right. Where he's like, is that your dick? And then obviously sometimes they're like, yeah. I think what sucks, no offense. Yeah. But I mean, you know, Bobby's not the most enticing guy to look at. I mean, I think I'd be like,

What's up, unk? Like, you know what I mean? Like, he looks like somebody's, I mean, he's a grandfather. But, Jonna, might I bring up a point that you always say to me when I find the proposed suitor to be physically unattractive. You know what you always say to me? What? But imagine Bob's skills.

Yeah. Imagine the years of sucking trucker dick that this guy has under his boxer brief belt. Let me see all that dumb. Right. Like you're looking at a man who spent his whole life sucking trucker dicks. I don't know. I don't know. Or maybe half of it. He's bisexual. He's bi. Yeah. Who knows? But I think in his case, he's like a suburban married guy. I think it's a lot of...

You know. Yeah. Okay. You come. I think it's kind of like that. Like he's not cool? I don't think he's cool. I mean, he's so matter of fact, babe. No. He's like, hey. Hey, can I suck your dick? I'm like, whoa. How you doing? I'm Bobby. What's up, Bobby? Suck your cock? You know, it's like, what? That's so cool.

How come lesbians don't offer that? Like, I feel like that's such an exclusively male behavior. Because you know why? There's also guys who have said yes to this who are like, the fuck did I do? Because men run with that poison inside that makes you do something where you're like, what? Did I just let Bobby suck my dick? Right.

There's no woman who's like, I can't believe I let that girl eat me out. It just doesn't happen. Right. So what he's hoping to do, Bobby, is what you're saying. He's hoping to get you when you're heated. Yeah, he's going to strike gold. You're worked up. Yeah. And you're like, God, I need to fucking... Yeah, you suck it. You, anybody, I'll take a Bobby. Yeah. Yeah. Right place at the right time. Yeah. But, you know, and also in his defense...

It's a numbers game. It is. And Bobby's playing and he's playing to win. And he didn't seem defeated at all. He referenced another guy there and he's like, another guy in West Virginia. Sucked his dick. And he's like, okay, that's good. But it does help his sales pitch because I'd be like, oh really? Another guy did it? Was that guy straight too? Jimmy did it? Yeah. I'd be like, oh, okay. That was great. The guy's like, what? What? Suck a cock.

Huh? Help you rest. Take a nap in the cab. Yeah. Get some rest before you drive. It's dangerous to drive if you're not rested. That's true. He makes good points. And he does it in broad daylight, which is crazy. Like this isn't even a nighttime. Oh no, this is fucking 2.30 in the afternoon. Yeah.

Where is he going to send us? In the cab? Could you help pull me up? He's like fragile. He's an old man. He's so fragile. Yeah, he could die if you came in his mouth too hard. Could you lift me up here? I mean, imagine this guy could just, yeah, he really could if he felt like it.

Take Bobby by that strand of hair that's flapped over the top and just pull that. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Really fucking. And the thing is, too, like this is a residential neighborhood. You know, the neighbors have seen Bobby. Oh, yeah. Bobby's out sucking cocks again. Look at him. Shameless. You shameless old man. Yeah. He just shuffles. They know. Everyone knows Bobby. This is what I would tell Bobby. I would try a different like appearance. You know, I.

I would try to dress... I honestly think you're right. If he came out wearing a nice collared shirt, maybe tucked into a nice pair of khakis or something, I don't know, just clean it up. Clean it up. Put on some cologne. Shoes. Yeah. Closed-toe shoes, closed-heel shoes. Nice button-down with a collar. Yeah. Excuse me, sir. Can I suck your dick? And the guy might consider it. I mean, I don't think this guy was ever going to, but somebody out there. Yeah. He's like, yeah, you look like a normal, sane person. Yeah. I mean, you know who...

who wears, or excuse me, who is also a trucker, who might, you never know. Well, good morning, my queens. How we doing? Let's rise and shine. Put them feet on the ground. Let's take off. It's always the hovering. Come on. It's always hovering over you. Enjoy that day and have fun. I got it. Come on. Pull them covers off. Slap that big butt and get out of bed. You know, I got to say,

I can't help but think that there's a path for me looking just like this. That's true. You're a few bad decisions. I mean, it's not far away. No. Yeah. That's the ghost of Christmas future if you stop doing what you're doing. It's kind of the ghost of Christmas past. I feel like that's me in 2016. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I mean, I didn't have his pep to start the day. Get your feet on the ground. I was always like, leave me the fuck alone. But...

Yeah. I don't like his POV. You are my big-titted animal queen today. You are the queen of the day. My big-titted animal queen. Beautiful. That's my name. Love you guys. I will talk to you soon. Have a good day. I love when he does the good morning from above because this is his famous like. No, this is his POV. What? Yeah. Like when he does. He gave his acting class, which was unbelievable. Yeah.

I will say, I'm digging the pink frames. I like them. It does make him look more youthful and healthier. It looks like his eyes are a little more open instead of like sodium bloat. I hope he got his feet on the ground and got running, you know, got his day started.

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Yeah, you know, it's funny discussing what kind of glasses he's wearing because my dad eyes have really settled in. So where I wear glasses kind of all the time now. I like it. And the other day I'm here in the studio. Yeah. And I go outside to get something from the car. I'm talking to Nadav and he's like, he goes, Nadav.

Are those transition lenses? Because they start to change tint. And I go, yeah. He goes, very cool. Wow. And I go, what's wrong with that? And he's like, no, they're just very cool. I go, I know what you're doing. I'm not like some fucking guy who doesn't understand your code. But you're not.

But to explain transitionals, it's where you go from... Yeah, so the same pair of glasses, you can wear them to read and to see, and then they become sunglasses. They tint, right? So I went and I got my prescription. They gave me multiples, and they're like, have you had transition glasses? I go, no. They go, you should try them. So I did it with this pair, right? And then he's like, do you know somebody cool?

that does them. I'm like, yeah, I know somebody. He's like, oh, how old are they? And I go, they're younger than me. He goes, really? And I go, yeah. He goes, that's very cool, man. And I go, okay. So then today I show up. He's like, oh, there's still a little tint in your hair. Cool. And you know, it's like, I've been thinking about it a lot. I've been thinking about it a lot. And it sucks that I feel like we have to get to this point, but I think it's fair to say that Nadav...

is anti-trans like he's just an anti-trans guy yep who totally holds that totally in his heart like i think it sucks to be somebody that is full of hatred in their heart me too and yeah i mean i didn't want to show about acceptance yeah i didn't want to uh

to come to this, but you guys know what to do. You know, it was the funniest thing to me because we had that exchange as you were leaving. And then the next morning, before you say hi, you're just like, hey, what the fuck's wrong with transitional glass? I'm like, fuck, dog. And then he goes like, he's like, hey, Enny, Enny's pretty cool. Enny.

Do you like transition? And I'm like, and he's like, huh? Is that what you're wearing now? Okay. That's cool. That's cool. So, and he said, and, and he is not anti-trans. No. Well, let me ask Nadav something. Do you have a problem with the frame colors? Frames are rad. Okay. So you're pro black, but you're anti-trans. That's what you're saying.

I'm look man I'm pro whatever makes you comfortable and if that's what makes you comfortable I think that's very cool I love black frames but you are anti-trans anti-transitional lenses yes

Let's not spell it out. You're anti-trans. I have to spell it out. I think people are going to understand. I was actually going to ask you a follow-up question. Is it about trans? It's about the headgear that you got going on. The headgear that I got going on. Headgear? Yeah.

So, you know, I'm wearing something else. Yeah. You're headgear. You call this headgear? It's gear on your head. Transitional lenses. Facial accession. Oh, OK. OK. So, you know, I'm running a marathon soon. Yeah. We're going to get to that. I don't like contact lenses. Right.

And so I was wondering, do you have any good recommendations for sports straps? Yeah, there's a strap. Yeah. Yes. Yes. I can get you. I knew you. He's trying to make fun of you. Of course he is. Like straps aren't cool. But here's the thing. With every beat of this conversation, it's somebody trying to dance around the fact that they're anti-trans. Like he...

Listen, I wouldn't spell it all out. I would just say Nadav is anti-trans. Let me ask you something else before you jump on this. Let me ask you something else. Knowing that you are who you are, we're learning. Let me ask you this. How do you feel about this? Getting pregnant and having a baby doesn't make me a woman because women don't own pregnancy just like they don't own periods. No.

Now this doesn't mean that motherhood or womanhood doesn't exist because it very much does and it's sacred. And do you know what else is sacred too? Trans and non-binary bodies and experiences. How does that make you feel?

I think that's great. Oh, so now you're okay with trans. Trans people that can give babies, I think that's a miracle. That's great. I wouldn't say what's on your head is a miracle. I feel like we've called out like a senator. Right, your honor. Yeah, you found this guy sucking cock in the bathroom.

Well, now he's backpedaling. Yeah. He's like, no, it's fine. I'm pro-trans. I'm for trans doing what they want. Well, let's see. Maybe he needs to, I don't know. I think you need to issue an apology video. Oh, for sure.

an apology video, and not only that, we've already made the t-shirt. We have a t-shirt. You can find it in the store. It's in the store the moment this episode comes out, so it'll be there right now. Wear your shirt, take a photograph, tag the show. Tag the show. Nadal is out.

Get the shirt. Hopefully, through this experience, this guy will learn to love trans. Positional glasses. Whatever. I wouldn't spell it all out. I would just keep it trans. Yeah. We all use the shorthand. Yeah. Anti-trans. Yeah. You got my ass.

Because I did tell you, I gave you a hint today, right? No, you did. And this surpassed expectations. What did I tell you? You were like, you're never going to fucking forget today. The day I learned I was anti-transitional lenses. Yeah, again, there's so many words. So...

Wait, do you approve of white lenses, too? Or he only likes white? I don't know. He's pro-black. Are you pro-brown? Do you have any other color? I mean, look, I hate you glasses. No, no, but do you have any other colored lenses? I mean, frames. Frames. Yeah, I had some, like, tortoiseshell lenses a while ago. But you don't have any more?

No, because my prescription upgraded, so I just got new French. Do you hate all the other colors? No, I just don't think that they work on my face. Oh, they don't work hard? Yeah. That's why. He thinks that other colors don't work as hard. So like browns don't work as hard. They don't wake up early enough. Pinks and yellows don't work as hard. Now you're listening to what I'm saying at this point. And Doug is anti-trans. He's anti-trans.

God. Who knew? I had no idea he was anti-trans. I've ever worked with somebody that's anti-trans. Not in this office. Not openly. No way, Jose. And YMH is not firing the person who you're saying is anti-trans. Can I tell you what really bothers me about this video? It's not even the content. It's his stupid face. He's so happy. He's like, women don't own periods.

That's a stupid facial expression. Calm down. Fucking weird bodies are awesome. So funny. What a great time to be alive. And my experience as a birthing person is just as valid as a woman's experiences to motherhood. Stop making eye contact. And my experience as a birthing person takes nothing away from the experience of a woman becoming a mother.

Yeah.

Trans and non-binary people give birth as well. Damn. I'm a non-binary person, and I gave birth to my baby. You just look like a drunk, like a fucking alcoholic. It looks like Bert. He looks like, that's exactly what Bert looks like. Literally, yeah. I'm going to start calling Bert a birthing person.

I'm doing my show with my birthing person friend and co-host. Yeah, I don't like the amount of eye contact. It's so menacing. I think the most menacing thing is the tone of voice. We're not...

for anything but for a birthing person's experience to be included. I'm like, okay. I don't know. There's always these specific... Put a little bass in your voice, fuckboy. Yeah, if he's a boy. Wait, what is... Anyway. It's a non-binary fucking birthing person. It's so funny because on the talks, there's always specific cadences to stuff. It's either this super light voice like, and it's just because I have an experience. Yeah.

Doesn't mean that I'm vegan. We're not taking away from your experience. We're not taking away from you. There's like that cadence or I wake up at 425 and all my belongings are packed in the car. I get the kids in the van and we head to world, whatever, Disney World. Everything's exciting and the kids are pumped. It's like there's only two ways to talk on TikTok. When you use the microphone, it's so weird. I get up every day. I do my workout. And then Tom gets to do his workout. Oh my God.

Yeah, I've been playing her on Where My Mom's At. There's a woman who's like hyper organized. I did enjoy. So much anxiety. She's so amped up. So fucking amped. And she's like, you know, I start my day at 4.30. I wake up. I do my workout. And then I eat. And then my husband does his workout. And then I make everybody's bed. I make six beds. And that feels great. And then I look at our itinerary. And then we go in there and we get in the car. And you're like, Jesus Christ. A lot of fun. And I looked at the comments. And all the comments were like, Jesus Christ. Yeah.

this looks like a fucking nightmare. And then her response was she's like, takes a special person. She's very positive. Positive energy. Even at people who are like, what's wrong with you? Can I send this to you so that people can understand? Do you have it, Nadav? From where my mom got it? I'm pulling up. Jesus Christ. So like, to her credit, she does have four boys. So I understand you have to be organized. But she's like, here's how you maximize your time at Disney World.

And then they're all like pumped. And she's like, I wake up at 4 or 5, 10. I get in a 20 minute workout. That's all I need. I read for two whole minutes and then I wake up the kids. And that two minutes thing is real. I read for two minutes. Two minutes. So this just makes your brain go, oh, I still know how to read. Because you're not like really taking in information. You're not retaining a lot in two minutes of reading. But that's just a day around the house. Yeah. And then I did a deeper dive. I do language learning apps for longer than that. Of course. You sit on the toilet for longer than that. Yeah.

But, uh, so, so I, I've been doing a deep dive on her cause I'm obsessed. You have her? Yeah. You want to see her? Yeah. I'm, I'm fucking, I'm all in. Duncan, trust me. This is how we get early park entry to before I lay out our outfits, custom.

The night before. Got it. Got it.

Got it. Hair gel. I'm exhausted.

It's 8:30. It's 8:30 and the video is like, "Oh, we can't do this anymore."

Like the algorithm was like, stop, stop, stop, stop. It's too much. Yeah, by 8.30, she's already done the whole park. It's amazing. You did one that you showed me of her where she was like, I have our itinerary. Like,

A family that has a printed out itinerary for an outing? Well, she calls it the roundup. Oh, that's right. They do the roundup and I buy the meal. I buy grocery shopping for the things that are on the roundup. You have that one too? Holy shit. This one's their morning routine. This is where she reads for two minutes. Hold on. This is the best one. It's Monday. I wake up at 5.15 a.m. I immediately put my workout clothes on, brush my teeth, and make my bed.

I try to read for a couple minutes every morning. I drink an AG1 for nutrition, an Element for electrolytes, and I'll sip on this throughout the day. Since it's Monday, I finalize our weekly family schedule called the Rabled Roundup, print it, then tape it to the fridge. I place a grocery order from Whole Foods based on the meals in the weekly roundup. At 6 a.m., I start my workout. 20 minutes on the treadmill and 14 minutes high intensity. I never miss a workout because it makes me feel good.

Oh, you've read about those benefits. Yeah.

7 a.m. She's already put away all the laundry. Hold on. By 7 a.m., she's done the Rabel Roundup. She's ordered all their groceries, planned all the meals, put all the laundry away, and done all the beds. By 7 a.m.? I know people like this. Of course. They're full of anxiety. Yeah. I think she has a beautiful family. Yeah, she's gorgeous. She's in shape. She's great. It's just, it is a level of energy where, like, that works in that household, you know? In that previous video...

At five, she's like, he's done with his workout at five. So that family is up. He's up at four. I don't know. It's fucking, yeah. You got to see the vacation one. Can you show this? Without kids? Hold on. So this one's the best. They go on vacation without children and watch how much fun they have on vacation. Oh, boy. Mom?

Fucking Ryan. Of course.

We land safely and you guessed it, Cabo San Lucas for Ryan's 40th birthday. Our driver Antonio picks us up and takes us to my parents' house in Cabo. And I'm not going to lie, it's an incredible house that represents why I value family and work so much. It is a fucking sick house. It is. I'm grateful my dad instilled entrepreneurial values in me and my mom instilled family values in me that helps me think differently than a lot of

people do thank you mom and dad for this beautiful opportunity to stay okay all right again um i mean you can read the caption for the trip itinerary what a relaxed by the way if you made me wake up at 4 a.m for our vacation flight i would fucking put a bullet in your head

Tom makes us wake up at 5 a.m. to get on the first flight to Cabo. I'm like, shut up. Just sleep in. There's a video of them on vacation. See if you can find her feed. Or don't. But do you want to see how awful a vacation day is with these two? I'm all jittery right now from watching these three videos. I'm actually like feeling it.

It's palpable, right? And also, the thing that I realized is she has, I mean, you guys are editors. There's like 45 edits in those things and she's setting up the camera for each shot. But who's filming her? She is. She's setting that up and hitting record and then editing it later. How much time is that taking? If you're, hold on, we're Disney World kids, stand still, mom's got to set up the camera. And the kids are like, can we pretend to

live in the moment? She probably travels with the tripod and everything and clips it on. She's like, just take a second. Unbearable. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Unbearable. And you're just trying to enjoy Disney World? You know what? I think it's for her. Oh my gosh. Like it's part of her joy. Like it's part of her... This is her identity. It's fun for her to make these videos, I think. And probably they get a reaction. I mean, she's going to get a lot more reactions now. So...

And I don't want to like, you know, shit on her. It's just that that is, yeah, that's exhausting to me. I'm exhausted. It's her energy. I'd be like, it reminds me a lot of my older sister. I was going to say that, but I didn't want to. My older sister is like that. A lot of energy. I remember when we were a family as kids going on vacations, you know, and especially as we got into like, actually, even as we were adults and we'd like do, you know, joint things like joint trip for a vacation, um,

It would be like, you know, the morning waking up at, I don't know, some beach thing. And she'd be like, yeah, so I'm going to go on this run and then I'm going to go get some breakfast and then I'm going to play tennis. And then I found out they have a yoga class and then I'm going to go. I found that there's a hike and then there's so much and then I'll go get lunch. And I was like, that's like what she's like, what are you going to do? I was like, I don't know.

Like, I don't have plans. I'm going to wait till I wake up and see what I feel like doing, which might be like walk over there and lay down. I thought you were on vacation. This is vacation to me. This is fun to me. Yeah.

Okay. Vastly different ideas of vacation. Yeah, that's the whole thing. I was like, this is like time to chill. Well, for me. That is chilling for me. I am having fun. My happy state of being is doing absolutely nothing. You saw me this summer. You know what I love doing? Sitting and staring. I can sit and stare for hours. I love it. Look, I like making fitness. Sure. But I just, you know, I don't like having...

here's the seven activities for the day. I don't like that when I'm traveling on the road and people are like, you know what 11 things Milwaukee has to offer? I don't care. I don't care. I don't care.

I like to find out. Maybe there's one. Maybe you go, oh, that sounds cool. Is it far? I don't want to do it anymore. I want it to be around where I'm staying. I'll do the one thing if I feel like doing that. And then that's it. It's the one thing for the day. The one thing for the day. Then you come back. I want to stay here, work out here, eat here, then go do the show.

I think, too, I mean, as a personal choice, like, I hate itineraries. Yeah. I hate that level of planning. I agree. As a parent, you need to plan and you need to. What are my friends? But it's too much for me. What are my friends? I'll tell you later. I had a girlfriend and they dated for, like, close to seven years. And they had.

She had itinerary for everything, even things that were like a year in advance. And you could not break from the itinerary. So if she was like, when we go to New York in December, we're got on the, on Thursday, we have to have breakfast at this place on fifth Avenue.

He's like, we would get to New York on Wednesday night and then Thursday morning. She was like, don't forget where we're going. Like, this is in the books. Yeah. We're going there for breakfast. And then lunch was planned. And then the museum was planned. And then that was every day. And I was like, how fun was that? He was like, I hated it. How long did you stay with her? He's like, seven years. She must have given, maybe she scheduled blowjobs every day. And here's your time to...

So exercise for men, we have a simple way where we say massage the testicle. Sometimes, you know, you see a children playing with the testicle. So the parent always say, don't do it. Dirty. Don't touch it. That's what we do. Dirty. Massage your testicle.

Because for men, testicles always producing sperm. So the Tao said if you massage your testicle or you recall the testicle breathing, you train your mind to inhale, exhale. And once you get it, you're laying down and you put your hand near your sexual organ and you just do testicle breathing. Inhale, exhale. And you started to feel that when you

When you feel your focus smiling into the sexual organs, smiling sunshine, sun, moon, and star down to the sexual organ, now you can see that transformation take place. Oh, it's transforming. What are you doing? You making jizz? Nadav wouldn't like that. It's trans. Oh, it's anti-trans. That's right. Yeah.

Yeah, I have to massage. I want to massage testicle and breathe in a smile, smile, feel my testicle smile, sun and light. Do you ever massage them? Not really. Because aren't they like sensitive? I'll go, you know, like that.

To the outside, like the skin. But do you really ever? No, not like really get into those beans. Why don't you give them some love? I mean, I'm fucking learning. Can I not be a student? I'm trying to learn. I guess so. You know what they say, when the student is ready, the teacher appears. Yeah. And you're ready to massage your testicle. Yeah.

I really want to have more in-depth conversations with this guy. Of course. Can we get a hold of him? We've been trying to book him for a while. He's somehow not interested. Yeah. He's overseas. Yeah. We'd fly him in. I never, do you tell our children it's dirty? No. You stupid, don't touch a dirty general. No, no. I don't do that either. It's silly. I mean, I don't do my parents' approach, which was like, I was like, um, so what's like, you know, masturbation? They're like, don't do that. I was like,

Shame. Really? I remember I asked my dad once, I go, so I was like learning about, you know, probably like 12 or 13. Like I go, did you ever masturbate? He goes, one time. I was like, one time? He's like, yeah, I was 16. I was like, and that was it? He's like, uh-huh. Oh my God. Good talk. Yeah. And I'll just take that with me now that.

That should not happen, or maybe one time. Gosh, did you just feel so much shame every time you... Yeah, I was like... And then I think I told you, right, that I was trying to say it without... I mean, I wasn't comfortable enough to have the conversation. Sure. So I was like, oh, I was in the shower, and I was washing myself, and then, you know, I was washing, like, my groin, and then, like, a bunch of stuff came out. It was, like, obviously, like...

introduction to the conversation and he goes next time don't wash there so long oh and I was like oh dang good it's good to know good to talk but it's good that you did it in the shower that's like the best cleanup right yeah it was also like a really cool like father explaining how biology works don't wash so long oh my god okay

I don't think my mother ever talked to me. You know what she did when I was nine? She just handed me a book about puberty, the What's Happening to My Body book for girls. I'm not even sure masturbation was in there. I don't remember. Yeah, no, I never got something like that. I mean, my mom was obviously not a person to talk to. Oh, your mother today is not still. I mean, still, you know, a woman in a bathing suit appears on television. She's like, are you watching pornography? So prude.

The lady at the beach? I know. It's a beach show. Everything's pornographic to her. I know. She's like, all you men think about is your penis all the time. And I'm like, okay.

Maybe she's thinking about it all the time. I don't know. Maybe she's thinking about sex and dicks all the time. She definitely has deep, deep shame. I think you'd have to go through so many layers to get to that. But it's the religious stuff because she's very Catholic. Very Catholic, yeah. That'll do it to you. Then we talked to who Aunt Blanca was on the show one time, right? And I still remember being in the back of her car with my cousin.

And so we were trying to do the same thing. It's like, we're just looking for an adult to have the conversation. Help us out. So we're like, you talk to your parents. They're like, my aunt and uncle, we were very close. And we were like, so we brought up masturbation. And then she was like, well, here's the thing. If you masturbate, then...

you will not enjoy being with somebody at some point in your life. So the reason that I don't do that is so that I can enjoy being with my husband. So if you ever want to enjoy being with somebody, don't do anything with yourself. We were like, three for three, just good advice from everyone. Yeah, it's so fucking weird.

Yeah. Well, in Catholic school, in 10th grade, we had sex education, 10th grade, which is too late because everybody's already banged. Yeah. And everyone's given. By that point, you're jacking off on the bus. Right, right. It was just chaos. And we had a nun teaching us sex ed.

And yeah, they were like, well, here's five things you can do instead of masturbate. You can take a cold shower. Yeah. You can pray it away. You can pray for nocturnal emission. That was... Pray for it. Yeah. You pray that God takes the stuff away from you. And funny thing is, that was probably, I don't know, fucking 20 or 30 years after Charo was in school and all that stuff. And later on when I was like...

asking like how did you date people if you're such a fucking nun she was like i would pray take cold shower like all the things you're saying that must be what nuns have been saying forever because that's what she did i know but what like like think about it i know the is it just because the catholics want you to be fruitful and multiply like they want you to have they want you to feel bad for those feelings

But why? I'm saying like what's the utility? Because you're just in it for pleasure and that's not. Oh, it should be procreation only. Yeah. And it should be procreation with one person who you're committed to for the rest of your life. It shouldn't be just like, oh, I enjoy the way this feels with some random. Yeah. That means you're just a bad person. But yourself. I'm saying like why is masturbation not?

not because you're spilling your seed it's like a fruitless I don't think it's fruitless it's like it's pleasing it's the fact that you're it's pleasure but God lets you drink alcohol because they're all alcoholics the priests can all be fat and drunk look if you want to be an asshole about all this laughing

I'm just, where does God draw the line on physical pleasures? Fucking smartass. God lets you drink and eat and exercise. Why can't you touch your genitals? They'd kick you out real fucking fast. I know. I'm just trying to understand the logic. I don't get it. We got a whore that keeps asking questions. I know. So you remember that we...

absolutely like we're just fascinated last week by this reference this is how hairy my butt is right now oh there it is so step one is to so this amazing video that I was certain was like oh this is probably gone rip this right away right they're like oh no no no this lives

This lives on YouTube. So rad. I was so blown away that that gets to live there. And this man has his cheeky little smile on top of his somewhat hairy asshole and his bag that hangs underneath it. And he winks his asshole at us in the video. And it has, at the time that we've watched it, had 38 million views. I'm sure it's probably 39 or more now. Oh my goodness. And so anyway.

Anyway, I had the idea. I go, you know, this is pretty interesting to me that this is allowed to be up on YouTube, right? So I asked the boys, could you contact our YouTube rep? We have a YouTube rep that we connect with for certain issues. And just out of curiosity, why is this allowed to stay up? How is it possible? I don't want it taken down. Obviously, I watch it every day. It's amazing. But I...

I just want to know. I think about his asshole a lot. Like all week I've been thinking about it. And it's strictly, this is just educational. Of course it is. So I go, hey, let's find out. So the response from the rep was, um...

He, first of all, the rep didn't know the video. He's like, I don't know what you're talking about, but it sounds like you may be onto something because we suggest, is it because it's educational? And he said, we have something called the EDSA exception, which lets content that's either educational, documentary, scientific, or artistic to reign up, even though it may otherwise violate policies. This is why music videos or stand-up specials

that say stuff that might otherwise get the video taken down or demonetized, since their works of art are allowed to remain up. In these instances, it's all about context. Tom and Christina reacting to the same material probably wouldn't fall into that EDSA category like the original video, since the context in which it's presented is different. So then we looked up what exactly is EDSA according to YouTube. It's their platform, so they get to decide and dictate what that is.

Content reviewers assess whether content gets the EDSA exception on a case-by-case basis. First, we check if there's community guidelines violation. There's a violation review if there's enough context in the content to make an EDSA exception.

The type of context you must include to get an EDSA exception depends on what's in the content. So basic facts about what's happening in the content, identify who's in the content, describe what the content shows, where it takes place. And then it goes on to just, you know, I don't want to get into every little detail of what it says, but it got us thinking that, you know, I mean, I'm interested in education. I'm interested in learning more.

So what I would like to do, he's not available right now, but the idea that I had was we have a doctor that does a podcast here on our network.

the great Dr. Drew Pinsky. And what I was thinking was much like this guy is showing you how to remove hair from your asshole within there. Maybe we could get Dr. Drew to educate people on some things that they're otherwise uncomfortable with, don't know a lot about. For instance, how to give yourself a testicle exam to see whether you're... It's a great idea.

have a tumor. That's a serious thing. So maybe we can get Dr. Drew to agree to do things like that. Maybe some like... Breast exam beds for the ladies. For the ladies. How to check your prostate. Maybe your vulva for vulva cancers or something like that. Yeah, vulva cancer. And I'm not asking him to like finger somebody or jack a guy off. I'm asking him to...

do educational medical things. He's not anti-trans like. No, not like Nadav. He is a. Transitional lenses, anti-transitional lenses. I don't know why you always spell it out. So anyway. That's a great idea, Tom. Because we do need to educate our listeners, our viewers as well. This guy, by the way, he does a lot of.

Things that are educational that just live on YouTube. Fingering your butt is a really good way to loosen up before sex, more specifically receptive anal sex, more specifically bottoming, more specifically taking dick up your ass. As you may already know, loosening up before having sex is like the number one key to reducing the pain that you inevitably will feel as a bottom when you take the ding dong up your butt. So this is very important.

And YouTube's like, educational. Can I tell you something? That I love the time we live in. This is so much better than the bullshit television we grew up consuming. It's why TV is dying. Yeah, it's dead. Like, how can you compete with a guy? When you can go ahead and watch Kevin Leonardo's video about how to finger your asshole. This is so awesome. Or do you want to watch what's on CBS right now? I don't think so. I do!

Oh man. There are a few things that you need to do before sticking a finger in your butt. First off, poop before. Always say to poop before butt douching and butt plugging and it's no different with butt fingering. Pooping before you finger your butt will just make your experience a lot better. Your finger will smell a lot less. You'll reduce your chances of seeing poop chunks on your fingers if you pooped beforehand. Yeah.

He makes a lot of strides. Personally, I poop and douche before fingering my butt because like I said, for me, butt fingering is like a pre-activity before butt plugging. You know that I realized that if I had been like in...

sixth grade and seen this i think i might have had an aneurysm i know i know like laughing so hard what is happening but it's never it never stops being funny it's great fingering your butt like so he's gonna hold on but let me just to be clear yeah he's gonna finger his butt solo this is like a masturbation act that he's prepping himself for is that what i'm understanding and he's gonna butt plug himself fingering yeah butt plugs all of it's good you know so cool

taking the cock-a-doodle-doo up my butt. You don't actually have to do this. This might be an unnecessary step for you. Just accept that, you know, brown stuff will come out. Like, that's where the brown stuff lives. Go around with them. Totally fine. Just wash your hands. It's not a big deal. It is a big deal. I think brown stuff is a big deal. That's why you're being so... taking so many precautions.

It deters me. Yeah. Because I don't want brown stuff in my sex life. Like, I don't want to smell caca. Yeah, not everybody. I'm not interested. This is like a pro bottom, you know? Oh, hey, I get it. I understand. We already got one anti-trans. Don't tell me you're anti- Anti-transitional lenses.

The second thing you have to remember before fingering your butt is to clip and file your nails. Yes. You want to trim your nails as short as possible because can you imagine fingering your butt with like long nails? And that goes for straight guys too. The third thing that you have to remember before fingering your butt

is to put a lot of lube on your finger before it like goes in. That makes so much sense. Position wise, you could either finger yourself like laying down or standing up doing like a little half squat. If you're like with your man and you know, you're either fingering yourself to like turn him on or like he's fingering you. Definitely lie down because like it's kind of awkward to stand up and like squat

squat with your man just watching you like that's kind of like weird so definitely hold on press pause you know what you should do too is the way ladies put in a tampon you can just put one leg up on the toilet too and I'm sure that would be I mean that's a hot look for me hot tip

Put one leg up on a chair, look back at you, finger my ass. That's all right. I wouldn't turn you on. And listen, this can apply to straight men too because you do have to trim your fingernails before you finger a lady. You should. You really fuck it. That's a serious tip. That's a hot tip too. Yeah. Yeah.

I feel like I should be helping this guy. I think he's got it. Oh, okay. I think he's got it. Yeah. Maybe I could be like... I mean, you're just agreeing with his tips. But I'm also extending for... But I gave him an extra hot tip. Put one leg up on the... Oh, yeah, yeah. That's true. Do you know what I mean? Sure. Maybe I could make this...

Also straight girl friendly. There you go. Straight guy friendly. Do a little half squat and then I bring my fingers through the front, my lubed fingers through the front. Through the front. And then I find my butthole and then I pretty much like take a deep breath and then as I'm putting my finger in, I usually like to use my middle finger because it's like in the middle and I have the most control over it. As I'm putting it in, take a deep breath. He does a heel. I don't know.

He's so cute though. I do love him. He's so clean looking, isn't he? He looks so, I don't even believe he has poopoo in his body. Yeah, he looks clean. He looks like he's a good diet. Go as slow as you need to and make sure that the entire finger is in. Once the entire finger is in, that's when you want to like gently and slowly go around and like rub around the walls and kind of see what you like and don't like. Once you take your finger out, give it a good sniff. Oh, not the sniff test. And wash thoroughly. Why do you have to sniff it first?

I don't want to give it the sniff test. I feel like you can visual sniff. Why do you have to sniff it first? Can't you just take it out and go straight to the sink? Or like eyeball it. Like, hey, if you see brown, then it's still there. Wait, do his sniff again. Here's what I don't understand about this video, though, and about Kalo's videos. Yeah.

It's very educational. Yeah. But you can still like have fun and joke around and be... Right. You know what I mean? Like they're not labeling this as... Oh, no. This is like... I agree. Tom... Are you raising your hand? Also, because he doesn't use the proper words...

For things? He's not saying penis. He's like cock-a-doodle-doo in my butthole. This is educational. Ding-a-ling going up your b-hole? You should say penis, anus. I have something to say. Go ahead, Tom. Yeah, I think. Wow, so anti-transitional glasses, anti-Jews. I mean, there's just everything. No, I'm raising my hand, Tom. I see what you're doing. In a way that Tom enjoys because he's a World War II dad now. This is the bad, bad, bad bit.

felt like what oh first we have an anti-trans and now we have an anti-semite who's the anti-semite i'm not saying you fucking do you really gonna start zeke hiling to say something i don't know i was raising my hands and it happened to look how should i raise my hand you know how to fucking raise your hand yeah that's how you raise your hand but i want to get your attention in your eyeline and like i'm not doing it on purpose okay go ahead i'm not go ahead

The point is, your honor, is that if this is truly educational, he should be using the proper terminology for body parts because...

If a kid, if someone's repeating this, they're like, oh, I'm getting a cockle doodle doo in my beat. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It is interesting that he's allowed to play like that. That's my point. I'm not saying that I don't want the guy's stuff taken down. I'm just making the point that it seems like he's being educational, but they're allowing it also to be like jokey. Jokey.

And I have to say, too, that if I were a young gay man and this is my, yeah, you don't know how to do this stuff. This is awesome. This is a great resource. Yeah. I mean, how did gay dudes figure out this stuff before? You just have to like know an elder gay. And he's like, you have to meet your daddy DeMarco. And he's like, you got to think of, yes. Let's be clear that the butthole doesn't just belong to the gays. The same way pregnancy and periods doesn't just belong to women. All right. It's for all of us.

Nothing calms me down quite like a plug, okay? Like I have the worst ADHD so I will walk around my house half finishing a million tasks. But if I put a plug in and try and go do those tasks, I'm completing them in half the time. I'm completing them in record speed and I have tunnel vision and focus the entire time. Plus they're so cute and fun. Like look at the top of this one and like this one has a whole tail.

And this one's fun because it has a handle if you really need some grip. But don't fall asleep with one in because I did that once and it was a big mistake. Wait a minute. I would like to know why it was a big mistake. Yeah. Well, because I know why. Why? Because if you open that hole and it's really stretchy, imagine the brown just comes down. You know what I mean? The hole has to go back. It's a muscle, right? Yeah. You've extended it and opened it all night. It might be looser. If you have eight hours. Like, remember...

Okay. Remember when Norman put the tit cups on? Yes. For like eight hours? He created breasts doing that. I imagine it's similar-

to keeping a butt plug in. The plug is in there for a long time. Here's my quandary. Here's my question. She uses the butt plug to get more things done, which implies that it makes her more like... She said it makes her focus. Active, right. So how do you fall asleep? You can also relax with that in? Well, yeah, you relax over time. So she's like, she's focused doing her things, but then like if you go past a certain point, it becomes almost like

You don't go like, oh, it's in there. You get used to it. And then she probably was relaxed and fell asleep. Yeah. I wish you would try this. Should we make our housekeeper try this? Excuse me? What? What? Be like, we've noticed that your work's been slacking. Oh, my God. We need you to focus. Let's see what else we got. Sweet lady that you're going to.

talk about like that. Speaking of sweet ladies. Sweet ladies, you used to leave your cock ring out for her to clean it up. Now she's a sweet lady? She didn't know us. Of course she did. She would put it in a plastic bag because she knew it went on your dick after. No, she's like, your keychain is over here. So, um. She knew what that was. No, she didn't. Speaking of Spanish speaking ladies. Another night in Colombia. Say hola mi amor. Hola mi amor. Love my life.

Insane chemistry. Yeah. Colombia. No. No, of course not. 30,000 square feet? Jesus.

to big, you like the plastic, it's there. Okay? I take my hat off to the owner because he takes real good care of his crowd. Sir. Girls are very nice. Thank you. Everybody's friendly. Travel tip. And even if you want to take a girl out back, you can do that too. Out back and shoot her? Go on the internet and check it out. But I have to tell you guys, this is a place to see.

Again, you're going to spend a few bucks, but it's worth it, man. It's worth it to see those beautiful women. This guy's fantastic. He might be my favorite discovery in the last year. Yeah. Colombia. I've been down here in Colombia. It's the best. I got to give a shout out to La Isla Club. It's La Isla. You're fucking dope. You've been down there a while. He is everything I love in a TikTok. He's got the jet black hair.

The fucking Steve Harvey's in his mouth. In Colombia. And then I take a girl out back and hit her in the head with a club. You can do that. You got to pay a few bucks, but it's fun. Do that in Colombia. You see her brain kind of shoot out her fucking ear. And you go, I got another notch on the belt. And they let you jerk off on her body. It's crazy down here. You guys got to go.

Come to Columbia. You guys ever want to kill a fucking whore? Oh, God. I keep getting emails. Hey, do you get to kill these whores? Here you do. I got to give a shout out to the owner. He lets you do whatever you want. I love his...

lack of self-awareness that like all these guys have yeah which is like ah they just love me here in colombia and she's like you give me cash money like there's no way there's no way like a 20 year old she likes me hot girl is into the like there's no way it's great wait is there the does there the other i love colombia i am loving like guys this is colombia this one don't understand a little

This one. This one. This one don't understand a lick of English. Those are the best ones. No doubt. What a cool guy. He's such a cool guy. What? Yeah. What are you saying to Dove? These are just kind of sad. What's sad about it? I don't know. I don't know. Something about it is just like, yeah, look, I'm just...

Hanging out with people that don't talk my language and I'm just fucking... Fucking them for a few hundred bucks. What's the sad part? They get $10. It's money in her pocket. You know what? You're right. I'm trying to be more accepting. You guys called me out for being an anti-transitional gladiator. I am now pro-prostitution in Colombia. Does it make you feel kind of sad though, really? Yeah. Yeah.

Because you know what their life is like and everything? Yeah, he's just hopping from one to another. Are you sad for both of them? Like for him too? Any video that he's posted, I'm sad for everyone in the video. Yeah. That's actually a healthy response, I got to say. For an anti-trans guy, that's a very healthy response. Anti-transitional lenses. Yeah. I mean, look, I have to say that this story...

Part of the reason I do love this lane is because it reminds me of somebody very close to me. Somebody that may have jizz inside my mom. This is the kind of shit that I've grown up with my whole life. She likes me. No, no, no. Yes. Not that she likes me. She loves me. And I would be like, you don't think that...

you don't think that maybe she just likes money? Like, she's really poor. And no, it's not like that. And he'd be like, no, you go there and they invite you to their house and you meet the family. And I'm like, well, yes.

Yeah. Anyway, I'm pretty sure I'll find out that I have some half brothers and sisters in the Philippines and Thailand and maybe in Colombia. It'll be cool that if you get to meet them when you're like 60. Yeah. That is cool. When they're like 12. I'm like, how the fuck did, how long ago?

long ago was he there? Yeah. Yeah. Oh, the best part is that sometimes my dad would have me FaceTime with the girls when he'd be in the other country and he'd be like, hey, talk to Natalie. And I'm like, hi. She's like, hi. They don't speak much English. So like, I like your hair. And you're like, thank you, Natalie. What are you saying? I don't want to talk to the girlfriends. Your dad comes hard to

Exactly. When I put my mouth on him. Oh, God. And you're like, that's cool. I'd love to know some of my dad's sexual kinks. Yeah.

It was painful to have the FaceTime conversations. And I'm like, I don't want to talk to any of these people. I really don't. He's just trying to fill time. Fill time. And he's like, I have a daughter. Yay. Yeah. And they're like, oh, yeah? He's like, do you want to talk to her? And they're like, yes. Oh, my God. They have to say yes.

No. And yeah, he would kind of use me as that. And then he used you as that on for dates when you, when we were in LA for date, like date night. He's like, my daughter does comedy. Come on, let's go see my dad. I'm like, you can't, I'm not your date night entertainment, but the best, the best one. Yeah. But you'd be fucking uptight bitch. And the best part. Yeah. Like, well, I'm such a square. That is, that was the reaction of like, God, what's wrong with you? Don't you love me? I'm like, ah, kind of, I don't know. The best was when, um, our son was getting baptized. Do you remember this one? Oh yeah.

Yeah, dude. That was fucking rad. Our first child was getting baptized and he was going to be out of town. Out of town? Where was he going, Tom? He was going to the Asian world.

And couldn't reschedule that. Couldn't reschedule. He couldn't move the plane. The flight, right. So he's like, I'm going. And he had a serious girlfriend. But hold on. But he also wanted me to move the baptism date so that he could still go on his trip. And I was like, that's not how this works. The church has certain days that you sign up for like months in advance. There's a thing there that I really didn't understand. And I didn't understand how it worked.

was that we went to meet up with him and his girlfriend at the time. And he's like, I'm going to Singapore or something. And we were like, oh. And I'm like, when do you get back? Yeah, like a normal human. He was like, I don't know. And I was like, who doesn't know when they come back from an international trip? Yeah, I was like, I don't understand that at all. I was like, huh? And then I was like, why aren't you pressing him on when he comes back?

And you're like, I don't know. I'm like, but that's a normal, like how long is your trip? That's with a normal dad. Right. But my dad, you can never ask those questions because he doesn't know when he's coming back or he doesn't want you to know. Exactly. When my mom died and we had to like take care of the body, clean out the apartment. He was in Hungary on vacation and he was mad that my mom died during his vacation. Standard. That's a good move. Yeah.

I understand. And I was five months pregnant and I had to clean out her stuff. Pregnant. You were on the road working. My vacation's fucked up. Yeah. And then he took his time coming back. He took a week. He was like, I couldn't find the flight. I'm like, there's no flights from Budapest to Los Angeles. Yeah. There's none of those. It's a daily flight. It's daily, bro. But anyway, the best part of the baptism is, so he tells me I'm going on the trip. Can you reschedule the baptism so that I can do my trip? Yeah.

And I go, absolutely not. This is like months in the making. We've invited family to come to the home. People are flying in. They're flying in to have a party at the house. Yeah. And then he goes, well, can my girlfriend. Not can she? He's like, she'll go in my place. In my place. Yeah. And I was like, what? And she was like.

You don't want me there? And we're like, no, nobody knows you. I don't know you. In a month from now, you're going to be somebody else. Like, I've dealt with this my whole life. My dad is Mr. Columbia, where it's like, I got insane chemistry with this one. Every... My favorite is when they don't speak a lick of English. That was my dad. Everyone was... Yeah. Say I'm loving life. She's like, eh, eh. Say I'm having the best time. Pero why? Eh.

You know what I'm saying right now? No. Perfect. Tengo mucha hambre. Eat something, please. First time today. It's night. I'm tired. Fuck seven guys. Okay, baby. But they really do think these guys are convinced that it is love. Yeah, yeah. Every one of them loves him. And it is really...

It's exhausting to be the child of someone. That guy's daughter is in anguish, and I know this. So I'm just going to say this. Shout out to the daughter. I know it sucks. You don't have to meet them. You don't have to know them. You don't have to meet all of them. Yeah, I know. You can put up that boundary. It'll piss off your narcissistic dad, but you don't have to do it. This guy's cool. And I'll tell you what else we got a hold of that I'm so excited about. Which one? Is that the former...

Mayor of New York City. Oh, yeah, that guy's rad. Attorney for the former president and all around cool fucking guy, Rudy Giuliani. He's being sued right now for sexual harassment by Noel Dunphy, a former staffer at his firm. The lawsuit included a wide array of disturbing allegations.

against him from behaving erratically while drunk to exposing himself non-consensually to demanding sexual favors to making various sexist and racist remarks. Giuliani, it should be said, has denied everything, smearing Dunphy and asking the court to strike portions of the lawsuit and sanction her and her lawyer. Dunphy and her lawyer responded on Monday by asking for Giuliani and his lawyer to be sanctioned. They included...

Audio transcripts of Giuliani saying exactly the kind of things he denied saying. That's where things really get tricky for people.

The transcripts include a host of truly vile, bigoted remarks, as well as some of the creepiest come-ons the mind can imagine. And guess what? We have a copy of that. Awesome. I wish we had the audio, because the audio would just be so amazing to play. Does it exist? We don't have the audio, though, right? I guess the audio maybe is still under whatever they call it. Look at him. You know, guys, everyone is so judgy. Oh, that's awesome. That's Giuliani when his hair dye was running. But yeah.

He did clean up New York, you guys. Come on. Remember when he did that? So we thought it would be fun. Nobody remembers the good times. Did a great job getting rid of the mafia. The crime. So we have portions of the transcript. We're going to read them for you. These are super fun. I don't know. I thought maybe it would be fun if you play Rudy Giuliani and I will play Miss Dunphy. You got it. So from March 4th, 2019. Go ahead.

Every place. You were finding a little place in the woods? Get off the airplane in a new city. On the airplane? Go right to the hotel.

Give the money. On the dining room table. Yeah. And we go right ahead, wherever. On the floor of the living room as soon as we get in. We don't even make it to the bedroom. Yes. All the clothes come off. Oh, yes. Oh, God. Let the doorman wait outside to bring in the luggage. Wait, wait. We need a little more time. Yeah. I need a little time alone with my girlfriend here.

That's right. With my daughter. That's right. With my little girl. Now that's not so... I want to own you officially. Oh yeah. Legally with the document. Put your name on... All right, now we... Those are just kind of warmups. Now we move to March 12th and here's where it gets fucking cool. Okay, here we go. Go ahead.

Come here, big tits. Come here, big tits. Your tits belong to me. Give them to me. I want to claim my tits. I want to claim my tits. I want to claim my tits. These are my tits.

Oh, yeah. Mmm, these breasts belong to me. Nobody else can get near these, okay? I don't care if they're flirting or they give you business cards. These are mine. You got it? Yes. Understand? I'm very fucking possessive. I've gone easy on you. I don't know. I've been easy on you. You're pretty tough on me. I've been easy on you. Give them to me. Maybe...

This goes on further. Who were the other Republicans who are celebrities? Ain't too many. Brad. Not Brad Pitt. The other guy that looks like him. Bradley Cooper? No, the other one. What the hell's his name? Well, Matt Damon is very liberal. No, Matt Damon is a f***. Matt Damon is also 5'2". Eyes are blue. Coochie coochie coo. Maybe. You are my bitch.

Bitch. Bitch? You're my, what's the W? Whore. Oh, you're my whore. You're my fucking slut. And now we move on to April 1st.

29. This is amazing. Do you know what's great? They're going to read this in court. Yeah, they are. And then somebody's going to have to read this transcript. But they read them like this. Can I do it? I'll do it how they do it. You are my whore. You are my fucking slut. You're my fucking slut. Juice. You're my bitch. This is April 1st. Now you're going to be, this is Mr. Giuliani. Allegedly, they have an audio recording of this. This is the transcript. Go ahead. Juice.

They want to go through that freaking Passover all the time. Man, oh man, get over the Passover. It was like 3,000 years ago. Okay, the Red Sea parted, big deal. Not the first time that happened. Hilarious. That's kind of a big deal. Yeah. Oh, this is the best part. Go ahead. The way natural selection works is,

There could not be a more incorrect thought.

Thought on how cocks work? Right. That is not how they work. I think the more you use them, the bigger they get. No, you can use them all you want. It's not going to change what your dick does. It's not going to be like, man, you've been using this a lot. Your dick finally grew. This guy doesn't know science. It's fucking fantastic. I like how he's jealous of the Passover thing. He's like, God, it's 3,000 years ago. Come on with your religious bullshit. But you know what he isn't? What? Anti-trans. Anti-trans.

Positional glasses. That's the one thing Giuliani isn't. Isn't. This is incredible. This is literature. Very cool. I can't wait. Now there's a cool guy.

Can we get to the, I want, if they televise the court hearing, don't they do that on like C-SPAN or something? If we could actually get the reading of this, the real reading. That'd be awesome. This might be a closed door. They want to go through. Some old lady's going to be like, Matt Damon is a 5'2", blue hair, coochie coochie coo. Your Honor?

He's going to be like, thank you, and read the next portion. Oh, God. Juice. You're part of the Red Sea. Big deal. Get over it. Come here. They have small cocks. Come here, big tits. Come here, big tits. Your tits belong to me. Give them to me. These are my tits. These are my tits. I want to claim my tits. I want to claim my tits. I want to claim my tits. Once the person does that, then they'll be like, and now can you play the audio portion of the recording? And then you hear it again.

So cool. Yeah, that'd be awesome. Somebody needs to make a musical about Giuliani in this transcript. You know how they do that? They'll make musicals. This would be great. Yeah. Giuliani and the lawyer. This is amazing. It's great. This guy's a real fucking demon. He really is. Last week... I can't wait. I hope we get audio of this because that would be amazing. That would be amazing. I would actually... I'll tell you this. I'd be willing to pay for the audio. I know. It's so good. It's so cool. It's so cool. Last week...

Speaking of Dadaab, we found... Are you a Jewish girl looking for a sweet, kind, and amazing boyfriend who will care about you? So he put out this video. And then the guys found more footage of this kid. Oh, cool. I'm a huge fan. I love this boy. Let's see what he says here.

Guys, I can't get over how gorgeous my friend Erin is. I mean, look at her. She is genuinely so stunning. Her fits are always fire. Everybody, please hype her up in the comments below. I love you all so much. Her fits are always fire. Her fits are fire. I need to trim my nails.

Her fits are always fire. Yeah, he wants to bang Aaron so bad. Let me tell you something, man. Aaron doesn't need any help, okay? No. You can just let Aaron go. Yeah, he wants... I don't want to take him out. Liv, oh my gosh. You genuinely look so gorgeous with your extensions. Your makeup looks amazing as always. Yes. I love you so much, bestie.

Is that actually a friend of his? He knows her? No. He's tagging him and calling him bestie. We're not sure of the exact relation. Oh, no. This is bad. This is bad. He needs to not do this. Look at my friend Rachel. She is literally so gorgeous. I mean, she's actually a model. No, like literally she models. Everybody hype her up in the comments below. I love you all so much. Oh, she's at Lily's. Oh, no.

I'm thinking 8, 8.30. Going to Lily's. I mean. What's going on? It's Charles. Oh, say around 8 o'clock, 8.15. Yeah. Man, this is a weird tactic. I've never seen this tactic. This is new to me. This is this generation. I think I know what's going on.

but what he's doing. - Tell me. - It's that he doesn't know how to approach these beautiful women

So what he does is he's kind of doing something like adjacent where he's going like, look how beautiful this woman, like this girl is. Right. And the hope, the wish is that that woman will hear you saying that and be like, you think I'm beautiful? Or like you're saying, that's so sweet. Yeah. And that that will engage the person and you'll have conversation. You know? Okay. And here's the thing. It's not going to work. It's never going to work.

Because beautiful women hear they're beautiful all the time. Exactly. Which is why, if you remember Mystery, he said, negging the woman is the way... I'm just using the proper term. I'm just using the proper term. I'm making sure I heard what you said. Nadav. What was the saying? Bitch-ass Nadav...

So that term is meant to be negative. Correct. So you give them some negative feedback and it's jarring because they're so used to the adoration. I would not put him in that lane. I don't think he's going to be like, so Aaron...

See that you call yourself a model. Haven't seen one with that kind of nose before. Anyway, like that's not... No, no, no. I'm saying that, but I'm saying like to get a woman's attention who is beautiful, complimenting them is the last thing. You can't tell the beautiful woman she's beautiful. It's like when you meet a famous person. Yeah. Don't compliment that bitch. You can't. Just don't because... If you meet a movie star and you go... Don't mention it. I love your movies. They don't want it. They hate it. What you do is you find out like, oh...

Jennifer Lawrence, she likes horses. You go, dude, you know what? I have a ride horse back. You talk about the other thing and they're like, oh, no shit. So then you're talking about something that's not what they're famous for. For the model, the beautiful girl, you can't just be like, I saw your photo. They're like, thank you. I would go if I were him. Oh, you go to Lily's? I love Lily's. This is a great spot. Did you get the chocolate croissant? Yeah, but what he's doing also, he's doing also...

He's young. He doesn't know. Every guy's done like, oh, I'll just say that she's beautiful. And your hope is that she'll be like, you think I'm beautiful? You know what I mean? Well, to his credit too, because I, when I was a younger lady, had a collection of these types of boys. Sure, of course. Just like sweet, kind of don't know how to do it. And they would just hang out and be my friend. Of course. And that's what he, by the way, would be thrilled to be Aaron's

Real bestie. Real bestie. And then, but here's the thing. Any of those guys, did you massage their testicles? Never. No. And I didn't want to. That's the thing. Because- That's the energy is like- And they never once said, oh, you're beautiful, Christina, or you're so pretty today. They won't cross that barrier. So the fact that he even is like-

oh my God, she's so pretty, is his attempt maybe at crossing that barrier. If somebody could get to him to be like, you don't have to change who you are, you don't have to change the way you look, but if he just went into this and was like, these bitches are lucky that I'm even looking at these. Oh my God. One of them's going to be like, who are you? Yeah. One of them's going to be damaged enough to take that bait. Bitch. Take that bait. Fucking go on live and just cut her off. Yep.

Just like Bob with his like, hey, can I suck your dick? No? Okay, cool. Later. Like, you just need to like throw it out there, right? I bet you haven't squirted yet. Yeah. I feel like she has a fat labia. She should let me finger bang you. Yep.

Pull back that broth beef you got hanging out of your underwear. This one's fat. Like he should call them fat and stuff. So this pig went to Lily's. She'll be like, what? I'm fat. What are you talking about? What are you talking about? He thinks he's all that. Yeah.

Oh shit.

Oh my God, I'm so embarrassed. No. Oh my God, I'm sweating. No. My fucking palms are sweating. Now he's doing the thing where he's doing it like all women, you're all special. I hate when people do that, by the way. Don't do that. Don't do that. Because they're not. Like, not everybody is. He's like, but I have a lot of kindness in my heart. I'm not like you guys. Yeah, I know. And your balls are exploding because there's nowhere else for them to go.

No, you're right. He doesn't have an older brother. Because an older brother, what he would do is probably break one of your arms. Yeah. But how did you learn how to have game with women? Your dad obviously wasn't teaching you. No. Because remember when he would be like, do you like Swaichner or Splenda? One time in college. Oh, my God. I remember I told him. It was just a moment of like, I didn't want to tell my friend. You know, it's like you have these moments where you're not thinking. Yeah. And I was like, you know, this girl and...

We had gone out and then I didn't want to. She was too much, right? But then after a time, I was like, I felt like I fucked that up and I should reach out to her. I just don't know. And he was like, uh-huh, yeah. I was like, yeah, I just don't know what to do. And I'm literally not thinking about who I'm saying that to. It's one of those moments where your mind's just kind of racing and then he's like, well, what I would do is...

Just say, call her up and say, you know, I think you're a great gal. And would you like to go dance sometime? And I go, what? I came to. I go, what the fuck? And he goes, well, you know, just, you know, how you would do it. But just, you know, I would just tell her. I'm like, OK, thank you very much. I regret I ever fucking opened my mouth.

It was such like, you know what I mean? It was such like older fucking dork advice. I was like, I forgot that I cannot, I don't want to have these conversations with you. Yeah. Parents don't know. They, you know, you're so out of touch by the time your kid is in eighth grade or ninth grade. You just don't know what it's like anymore. He's like late fifties, early sixties. You know what I mean? I was like, I don't want to do this, man. You're making me very uncomfortable. Okay. Well, you know.

And then like later on, you know, he was like, did you ever call that gal? And I go, she died. Don't ask me this shit again. She died. She fell off a building. Don't ask me this shit. I don't ever want to talk to you about anything like that ever again. Thank you. Yeah. My mom was really, actually my mom, I will, to her credit, was old school European about courtship. Yeah. And she's like, never ever.

Talk to a man. Don't ask him out. Don't chase. Never chase the man. Let him chase you. And I'm like, that's actually... That's good advice. I mean, nowadays, there are videos of women proposing to men. Oh, my God. And I'm like, oh, my God, dude. Don't do that. Because I think the truth is, the truth is the man...

Kind of chooses the woman. Yeah, the man pursues. Yeah. That's just how we're biologically set up. But don't let that rob women of the experience that it doesn't belong to us men. You can also grow a dick and chase whoever you want and you can impregnate somebody. Now...

Oh, this is so painful. This is so hard to watch. I know. And here's the thing. He's a kid. I don't want to like, I don't, I'm not trying to beat him up or anything. I actually want this to work out for him. But yeah, he needs, he needs a, he needs a dude who's a few years older to be like, hey,

Take it easy. Maybe Big Time Tommy could reach out to them. Hey, I'm Big Time Tommy. Here's how you get it wrong. And can I tell you that women to really respond to a guy that dresses cool at this age, especially like if he were to just put on a cool outfit and do his hair better, maybe put on like a cool pair of glasses, that would completely change things for him. Yeah. Because like that's an image thing. That's easy. Yeah.

But then he needs to... Oh, man. This is so fucking painful. A good update we have here is that our very own anti-trans Nadav... Transitional glasses. Anti-transitional glasses. ...is officially registered in the New York City Marathon. 100% kosher. And is making his gay IG stories documenting his workouts. So...

What is going on right now in your training for the marathon? I approved you. So we were recording some Two Bears the other day, and Bert connected me with Jesse Itzler, who...

I talked to him on the phone for 30 minutes last night. Yeah. And after talk, he's like, so what do you think, man? Like, are you ready to do this? I'm like, I'm ready to run through a fucking wall. Just by talking to him? Just talking to him. He amped me up. He's like, look, there's a hundred, like you have a hundred days to the marathon. We need to map out every single one of those days so you know exactly what you're doing. You never skip. Like, you can't take a week off. You can't take two, like...

This is what you're doing. You're in it. You're going to become a psychopath and you're going to fucking love it. That's what I'm fucking talking about. That's what I'm talking about. You Jew motherfucker, you. So do you have your plan? Yeah. So for like, I'm already doing weightlifting sessions three times a week and doing sauna and plunges and stuff and already doing like,

Like the way my mentality through walking and jogging was like, oh, when, you know, my structural bones don't hurt like every other day or two, I'll go on the track and I'll spend like an hour, hour and a half on the track. Just walking. Walking and jogging. Oh, good. So you're jogging now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like I was able to jog for the first time like two weeks ago. And he's like, so listen.

Keep doing all that. And we're adding on top of it an hour of walking two times. Like for either 30 minutes, 45 minutes, an hour, you choose. But you're doing that two times a day on top of everything else that you're doing. So two times a day you're adding more walking. Exactly. Because he's like, what you need to do is spend time on your feet. You need to get used to what that's like. And if you just do those two things within a week...

You've walked more than a marathon if you keep up with it. How's your diet? Good. I'm on that Manjaro, so I'm barely eating anymore. Sweet. I'm keeping intermittent fasting window closed down. How long do you intermittent fast for? So I...

From 10 till 7. 7 is the last time that I put something in my body. 10 a.m. to 7 p.m. you eat? Yeah. And then that's over after that? And even then it's just like little things. Like I can't even have full meals. That's awesome. Oh, you're so skinny. Is your weight dropping? Things are melting. Yeah, from the last time I saw you I'm down like 40.

Three or four pounds, it kind of fluctuates. But yeah, it's just starting to melt off. That's great. That's great. That's awesome, dude. So you will be going to Jude Ork Titties. Yeah. And it's crazy, too. Like, Bert was like, every time you do something, put something on your story. And like, it'll keep yourself accountable. And you'll be surprised of the positive feedback. Did we? A couple things. A, he was like, fuck it, I'll do it. Is he doing it with you? Is he going to do it? Bert? Remember in the podcast? He was like, I'll do it.

Right, but then I think he quickly backpedaled and he just like... That's what I was trying to get clear. We do so much talking that I'm like, is there... Okay. I mean, I'd love a running mate, but not someone that's like, go faster, go faster. No, no, no. I don't think he would. He wouldn't be that. I think he would just be like a companion for you. Right.

Which I think we'd be able to get in. They were actually asking if you wanted to run it with me. Yeah, boy. Yeah, they asked if I wanted to do it. They offered it to you. I mean, you and Christina get seats in the grandstand at the finish line. Yeah, I'd rather sit with you, Tom, and celebrate. Should I try to do that? I think you should. I don't think so. Why not, dude?

I mean, you're in the best shape of your life. That's true. Jesse says, 100 days, I could do it. You think, you could probably do it in 30. 30 day prep. Are you running? Running? Running or jogging or...

Oh, you mean do I run regularly? I'm usually on a bike. Did you pronounce the G's at the end of words? Is that what that was? Yeah, that was. I was just making fun of the way you speak. I was raped by foreigners. I've been on my bike, like mostly on my bike. Now, I've been doing, since I got back, I've been doing workouts that, like yesterday we were doing circuits and part of the circuit was a run in between certain lifts. But I don't run with any regularity. Like I'm not a...

regular runner, but I've been on my bike a lot. That's my usual cardio. Sure. No, yeah, low impact, that's good. I've been seeing some things where going on the elliptical is like a good cheat to getting ready for the marathon, but yeah, I mean, right now I'm just sticking to Jesse's plan of just laying that on top of everything else. That's an interesting one. Please don't. You're asking me not to. I mean, I finally have you home. I finally have you home with the kids after two years of you being gone. Yeah. Yeah.

I kind of want you to ask. What's a hundred more days? But I mean, I'm not going to go away to do this. No, but it's going to be like you're running for fucking two times a day, babe. I got to go do the run. It's going to be like sober October for the next... A hundred days. Yeah, please. That's only three months. Oh, for fuck's sake. It's just a hundred days. Don't do this to my family. Please. We finally just got you back. This is not...

a cool way to get into it. You know what I mean? Like, it's fine. It's fine. I'll, I'll find, I'll find some, I'll find someone else to motivate me, you know, throughout the race. That's fine. Yes. Can't you do another running partner? You can get a running partner. This is true. Sure. Yeah. I'll, uh, yeah, I have a good idea. I don't want to better myself. So, but then also like, I, I kind of, when we came, when we came up with, uh, what happens if I don't finish, uh,

Because, like, the other day, you reminded me, like, oh, yeah, you're getting a big old, like, chest piece tattoo. Yeah, yeah. I was like, I do not remember agreeing to that. Yeah. Because I think I was still in my catatonic state from, like, accepting the race. Yeah, it's pretty fucking sweet. And I brought it up to my girlfriend, and she's like, you're not fucking doing that. Well, you're not doing that if you finish. Right. Right. If you do finish, it's the sweet sounds of Ireland all over your fucking chest. Hey.

Irish pride. Maybe we could rethink what the punishment would be. Placement of it? Like a finger. What if it was just like the size of a finger? And it's just like O'Callaghan, just like right here. What if it's the entire back? Yeah, what if? Yeah. The flag of Ireland, O'Callaghan in huge Celtic style writing. That's fucking badass. First of all, it's badass. Let's not act like it's not badass.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And then also... Yeah, it's badass if you're Irish. Yeah, if you're Irish. Yeah. Maybe a second one. Pro-trans. Oh, shit. Just to show everybody you're really not an anti-trans. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That you came around, you know? Pro-trans. That I came around to transitional glasses. Well, but we do pro-trans... To being pro-transitional glasses. We'll say I'm pro-trans. Pro-transitional glasses. No. It says I'm pro-trans. There's a pair of glasses underneath it. And then...

whatever the trans flag is underneath that. She's really not into this tattoo idea. Maybe the lenses are transitional flags. You know what I mean? That's very cool. The trans flags and the lenses. I like this idea. I agree. I like this idea better. Yeah, we'll talk over it. That's safer than the prime lens. All you got to do, I think the thing is you have to finish under what? 430 or something? Yeah.

No. I don't remember the time. It was just that I need to finish it. No, no, it can't be just finish it. We've got to have some time restraint, right? Look, the limit is six hours, but I'm training. I'm training to finish it in six hours. Okay, so you have to be under that. But then it's like if I finish the marathon, it's a little over six hours. We go straight to fucking prison tats all over you and all that. It's fucking awesome.

For you guys, yeah. I think you guys would love that. I think you're going to dig what we come up with. What we come up with. Yeah, I'm not sending you to some... I just heard what you came up with. I'm not sending you to some dipshit fucking tattoo artist. I'm going to send you to one of the ill-matic tattoo artists. The quality of the tattoo is not what's concerning me.

The quality of a tattoo artist. The size of it is going to be fucking cool. Yeah, but we never see your chest anyways. Have we seen his chest the whole time? And by the way, you don't think your girl is going to be like, you look like you just fucking served 25 years for aggravated battery. Like, it looks cool. You know, I talked to her about it. She said, not a turn on. Not something I want. Okay, and then you'll be like, oh, guess what? There's a new guy here. Patty O'Callaghan is going to fuck your brain. Yeah.

Look, she said as long as I'm cool with it and I want to get it, then yeah, there's no reason for her if I can get into it. But that gigantic Celtic piece on my back is definitely not something I want. Yeah, well, that's either going to motivate you or will probably have... I'm guessing that the Irish tourism board is going to get wind of this and be like, this is pretty fucking cool. Maybe we can bring Patty back

To Ireland. And I'm willing to guess that your girlfriend will dig a cool trip to see the beautiful landscape of Ireland. Dublin's an amazing city. So if I pass the finish line under six hours, I'm getting sent on a cool trip to Ireland with my girl? No. I think you're probably going on that trip if you don't finish because you're going to have an enormous Irish tattoo on your body. If I don't finish, I'm getting sent there with a gigantic tattoo. I think so.

That does sweeten it a little bit. Yeah, yeah. And people will probably come around to you being pro-trans at that point. Transitional glasses. Pro-transitional glasses. I don't know why you always say the whole thing. Yeah. Yeah, I know. You're such a... Come on. So...

Yeah, we'll figure it out. Under six. You gotta be under six. Just do it alone. Under six. Be a man. Do it alone. I'm gonna be a man. And maybe... You gotta do it. Maybe I'll do it with you. Oh, God. It's not like I want to. So...

It's the worst. By the way, just so you know, in the drops, this is labeled Jews, Jews. That is a man getting sprayed in the face by a woman's squirt. And he's saying, juice, juice. Do your job. Yeah. Do your job. That's why she's like, ah.

He's not going, juice, juice. Why a woman is orgasming, you know? No, yeah, that was a little before my time. Like, I know the drop, but I wasn't around for the origin of it. Juice. Juice. We'll change that. We'll move that to the blue folder. Important. It's very important. Do you mind if I do a follow-up email? Sure. Yeah, this is from the CAP report. ED is CAP, which we...

Any disclosed last few episodes back. ED, erectile dysfunction is cap. So this one came in. I'm studying to take my MCAT and could it help but share this little detail from my book?

For context, it's giving examples of medicalization, which basically means what qualifies as being sick is a social construct. As an example, it says that erectile dysfunction was only begun to be considered a medical issue as opposed to, quote, aging or some other personal failure, end quote, and

I.E. being gay after the accidental discovery that Viagra caused boners. If somebody didn't get a boner instead of fixing their blood pressure, E.D. probably wouldn't even be considered a medical issue. So basically, E.D. is cap. You're right about that. And it doesn't actually exist. It's a social construct. Yeah.

Crazy. What else isn't he right about? Just like PMS and panic attacks. And bisexual men. And bisexual men. Fuck, I forgot to reach out. I got to reach out to this guy about this. About bisexual men. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's a bonafide, a bonafide man. Yeah, yeah, I really wanted to weigh in on this. And then another guy wrote in. Oh. So I was a big time heroin junkie and when I couldn't find a usable vein, I'd shoot heroin in my dick vein. Oh.

Which is actually not as easy as one might think. Anyways, I got sober seven years ago, got fat and out of shape, yet still after some manual dick rehabilitation, everything is just fine. So there you go. Very cool. ED is cap. Yeah. It's also cool to know that you can shoot heroin into your dick.

I did not know that. I actually did not. I didn't know that either. I'd heard about people going into like in between their toes. Sure. For that. When they run out of, you know, track mark. You know what I mean? Like everything's all, but into your dick vein. Because everyone sees that vein. You're like, oh, I got a big vein there. And this guy was like, oh, I could shoot up right there. Fucking, what am I, a fucking idiot? Shoot fucking heroin in my dick. Perfect. Yeah. I wonder if you feel it first too in your dick. That's what I was just going to say. Like, I wonder how it goes in your body. Like, yeah.

That's pretty crazy, dude. Very cool. Well, this was a lot of fun. Yes, it sure was. I had a great time today. Always fun to come do the podcast here. Thank you guys for listening. Thanks for watching. Hopefully soon our very own Nadav will stop being anti-trans and we will see you. Cut that out. We will see you. And don't forget to buy the shirt. It's in the stores now. Don't forget to get the Nadav is anti-trans glasses. Thank you. Very soon. Love you. Bye-bye.

- Um, yes. - Guys, I'm one of the people who's very, very prone to sensory overload. We're all fresh and ready to go. - Thank you, comrade.

If we want to defeat capitalism, we are going to need a party that will organize working people to fight for the demands that we want and to win socialism. I want a...

Thank you so much.