Tom Green Wants Garth Brooks Closure | Your Mom's House Ep. 797
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Welcome, welcome to your mom's house.

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Everybody, it's Charles. Okay. That's so good. Let's play some more of this. You like that? Yeah. Yeah, it's pretty great. Nigga, my nice. Nope. I don't know about that one. Okay. Hey, me. Hey, me. Hello, Carla. It's your right there.

it's really good she was in rare form she was in so much so much so much i might be retarded but i'm not stupid it's very true how are you feeling tom how's your period um it's good it's good well it's coming on i can feel it tell me what do you what are your symptoms

Just like some hot flashes and, you know, I'm starting to cramp and I can just feel I just want it to start so bad. Yeah. The anxiety of it before it comes is the worst. It's the worst. I can't wait for menopause. Yeah. What period? Are you using an app to track your cycle? Yeah.

Yeah. What's the app? Keep Bleeding. Yeah. Yeah. What do you use? Period Tracker. Oh, yeah. That's what everybody used to use. You know, I don't know if this is true for you, but if I saw this on TikTok, Maddie Gates, I don't know if you know this, but she told her boyfriend...

Does this happen to you when you eat spicy food? It makes your period spicy. Yes. That's so crazy. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. What about you? Where are you with your period? Oh, my God. It's just like waiting for it to happen is the worst. Same. I think we're cycled up again. We are. Yeah. It's going to be such a rough week. Men can have periods. A lot of people don't know that. Not anymore. Not in Trump's America. I think we're done.

I don't think I'm going to stop bleeding because there's somebody else in the White House. That's a good point. Guys, here's a great segue. Buy my Perfect Four lipstick. I'm wearing Berlin today because I'm feeling saucy. My period is spicy. You can get that at ChristinaP.com. I have four colors. I say just buy them all. You know what I'm saying? Especially if you're a guy, you need a gift for your lady for VD. It's your birthday. It's your birthday. It's your birthday. Yeah. Going to have some exciting images coming up soon on ChristinaP.com. Happy birthday. Happy birthday. Yeah.

Do it. So, yeah, that was cool. Having her here was cool, man. How are you feeling? Pretty good. I had a pretty, well, a period dump, you know. So worse.

it was like runny yeah just you know the hormones man um but yeah other than that feel pretty good good yeah pretty good it's exciting i'm excited um why don't we introduce this uh yeah yeah okay i forgot we haven't even done that yeah here we go

Hitler, hell and the Nazis, I really don't think that he was because I honestly think that Hitler was a good guy based upon my own research, not my public education indoctrination. I really do think before Hitler got on meth, he was a guy to go fishing with. He fought for his country. He wanted to purify it by kicking the greedy Jews out that were destroying his country and turning them all into gays.

Oh, wow. That's amazing. Don't bring anyone loving to this. What's that? Welcome. Welcome to your mom's house. Meow, meow, meow, meow. Christina Pagitsky. Christina Pagitsky. Welcome to your mom's house. Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow, meow. Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow. Uh-oh. Uh-oh.

I honestly think that Hitler was a good guy. That was Bryce Mitchell on episode one of his podcast, Ark Insanity, with Bryce Mitchell and Roly Delgado. I think the best part of this whole thing is watching the other guy the whole time be like,

What did I just get into? This is our first episode? What is this guy talking about? He got us involved. Here's the rest of it. They were gaying out the kids. They were queering out the women. They were queering out the dudes. You know what her first tranny surgery ever was? Happened to be in Germany before Hitler took over. You know the books that everybody makes fun of Hitler burning? You know what the books was?

Queer books. Hitler burned queer books because Hitler didn't want a bunch of queers destroying his nation. They can't produce children. But what about. What's he going to say? He's a UFC fighter and this is there was a huge fallout from this. And then I guess he has since then what apologized.

Yeah. Yeah. He came out. Dana ripped his ass like in a press conference. He was like, he's like, he goes, Dana started his press conference going, he goes,

You know, I've been around a lot of dumb fucking people. That's a great intro. This is the dumbest fucking person that we've ever encountered. So scroll up a little bit, actually. Oh, I'm sorry I sounded insensitive. I definitely was not trying to offend anybody. Of course not. But I know I did. I know that a lot of people died in the Holocaust. That's a fact. Hitler did a lot of evil things. I think we can all agree on that.

I'm definitely not a Nazi. Definitely do not condone any of the evil things that he did. I'm talking about the cool shit he did. Guys, what I'm trying to say is everybody only talks about the bad stuff. What about the good stuff? Yeah, man, the good stuff. Hitler burned queer books.

Now, the real question is, what's episode two going to be like? I don't know if there will be a second episode. Because your second episode would have to be all about your first episode. I don't know. Before Hitler got on meth, he was a guy to go fishing with. You think meth really turned Hitler bad? That also might be... You know, sometimes you hear sentences. That might be the first time that sentence was ever spoken. Like, ever in the history of humanity. Hitler would be a cool guy. Before Hitler was on meth...

That's a guy I'd go fishing with. This was great. I'm sure you guys heard what Bryce Mitchell said. If you haven't, I've heard a lot of dumb, ignorant shit in my head, but this one's probably the worst. When you talk about Hitler, he's responsible for the death of six million Jews, and he tried to completely eliminate a race of people. World War II,

was the deadliest war in history. 15 million military deaths, 45 million civilians, and 25 million soldiers were killed in World War II. Second of all, Hitler was one of the most disgusting and evil human beings to ever walk the face of the earth. And anyone that even tries to take an opposing position is a moron. That's the problem with the internet and social media.

You provide a platform for a lot of dumb, ignorant people. We've obviously reached out to Bryce. Bryce. When we read what he said and let him know how we feel about it, we're beyond disgusted. He then went on to say, it was great though because he was like,

He's like, you know, yeah, he can say it because you can say what you want. But he goes, but what's great is that, you know, he will be in the octagon and then everybody can just cheer for him to get the shit kicked out of him. Yeah, that's true. Yeah, everybody has alternate research now. They're like, you know, I know that's what we all learn. I did my own research. What kind of research? Not the indoctrinated bullshit they feed you about Hitler being a knucklehead because he wasn't.

Everyone's got their alternate stuff. It's pretty cool. People always saying this guy was up to no good. I found out.

He was burning queer books, and that's cool. That is cool. Yep. Yep. Yes, yep, yep. Unreal. Gaying out the kids. Gaying out the kids. Yeah. They're always worried about gaying out the kids. Yep. That's the biggest concern. Queering out the women. They were queering out the dudes. I don't know. They're always so worried that the homosexuality is contagious. I don't think you just catch it. People are really, yeah. Yeah. They get really upset about that. People who wear camo really fear it the most. Yeah. Yeah. They're always like, the fuck?

I'm gonna catch this bullshit from you. Don't come around here. The other thing that all hillbillies think too is that any gay man wants to fuck them. Them. Yeah, them in particular. Like 330 pounds, just like fucking gut hanging out.

face looks like it's fucking god shit growing like mold and shit growing and they're like I don't want no fucking gay guy trying to fuck me like no one's trying to fuck you man nobody wants gay guys straight guys straight women gay women no one wants to fuck you nobody wants to fuck you nobody come around here see me naked try to fuck me I don't think so I know they're so afraid

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It is our Kinsanity. That's a good name for the podcast. I do hope he keeps it up. I do too. I mean, shit, I'm excited to see. Is he going to keep it up? Episode two. Did they already announce that they're canceling? Because that would be a shame. I don't want them to. Keep going, dude. Maybe there's another episode already. Yeah, that'd be fucking rad. Yeah, Bryce, don't let Dana White scare you. You got a voice. Please. Yeah, let's just see. I mean, maybe type in the...

Okay. He's probably got some views on episode one. Right? Only one episode. Oh, that's too bad. Threw in the towel, huh? You got to keep going, bud. Got to get it going, bud. Well. Yeah, what can you do? What can you do? What can you do? So, yeah, there's some stuff I want to show you. Where did I... Looking for this very awesome...

I don't want to... Oh, yeah. Look. This is enough. Oof. Oof. I just moved into my apartment today. I heard construction above me all day, but I let it go like it was nothing because I didn't want to believe that they would come here and do this. And then all of a sudden, they've been attacking me. It's non-stop.

Don't tell me you're the only students to me. What is happening? She's a paranoid schizophrenic. Oh, they've been attacking her all day. The construction on top. Oh, God, I got it. But the snot thing I thought was pretty cool. That was really cool. I like that. And it's cool to upload. Right. After you have it, you can go like, should I? Should I? Not her. She just goes right in. Yeah. That was really nice. Thank you. Yeah. I thought she got maced because her eyes are all red and...

No. It makes your nose run. No. The good structure. Also, have you ever seen this skill before? There's so many talented people out there. That's the cool thing. Dana was saying the bad thing about the internet and social media. The good thing is that you discover talents. Let's see it. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. Right? How's he doing that? I guess he's a professional throat whistler.

Oh wow. Look at that captivated audience. Oh. Look at that kid. Kid loves it. And he's feeling. Oh my goodness. Wow. That kid's trying to whistle.

He was like... Yeah, everybody's like, how is he doing this? Yeah, we don't know how he's doing it. Here's the thing. That's 1984. Yeah. Right? That's 40 years ago. Guess what? What? He's still doing it. No! Yeah, he's still doing it. Wow! I bet his talent got even better. Wow. Unbelievable. Wow.

He's doing YMCA. That's cool. Yeah. That's Ralph Whistle on Instagram. Beautiful. And I've lost myself on his page before. Oh, I bet. Just like hours. I bet. Wait a minute. Yes. I'm confused. Are we not going to talk about how we know this guy? You don't remember this guy? No. No.

What? No way. This guy like pissed you off before. Remember? He did? In the L.A. studio? Yeah. How? We saw this guy a long time ago. You know what? That was the old us. That was L.A. snobby us. We appreciate talent now. What is wrong with you? Here's the thing. I don't even want to revisit that. Yeah. That sounds like a dark time for Tom and I. We would never discourage talent.

Also, that was before I became a Texan. Yeah. I like this guy's attitude. He's pro-America. Yeah. What is wrong with you? First of all, I feel like you're not telling the truth. Secondly. Lies. Sorry about that. I must have been mistaken. What is wrong with you? Jesus Christ, this guy. Ralph Gies. Is that how you say it? Can you try to do it?

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I don't know. I like it. I love it. I think it's very cool. I think it's very cool. Mm-hmm. How many different songs does he have there on that Instagram? Oh, my God. Let's hear it. Happy Thursday, everyone. Oh, shit. I am Whistler. Yeah. Yeah. Yes, you are. Whistler I am. Yeah. I am Whistler. Whoa. Whoa.

Is he kidding me? It's unbelievable. Wow. Thank you. That's great. Thank you. You know, I see that he's smoking cigarettes. I don't want him to damage his instrument there. Well, I think it's probably at this point he knows. Yeah, how to do that. He's been cultivating this talent for 40 years. For so long. Yeah. It's really incredible. You know, that's amazing. That's quite a talent.

It's very exciting when a man has a special talent. It makes me excited. Yes. Another update you're not going to believe. What? Guess who is back at it. Who? Ladies, man, here. I've been blowing out bags since 96, bro. You know? If you're a single female and you're local, hit my line, baby. Yes. Oh, yeah. We out here.

Wait a minute. Oh, shit. The ladies man, he's back. I guess he broke up with his girlfriend. He broke up. He's in a public restroom. He is letting you know that he is back on the scene. He's doing like Tony John's. Yeah. Blown out back since 96. Blown out back since 96. Woo! Giving out the phone number. Yeah. Publicly.

Can I just say, and I like that Tony was in a relationship, but I like Tony John's single even more. Single Tony is kind of the most fun song. It's who he is. This is when he shines. Here's the only concern that I have personally, because I am a Tony fan and I want to see Tony succeed. I don't know that that's just orange juice. I know. I'm thinking that he's not just a citrus fan. I know. I thought the same thing. And I fucking hope it is not a screwdriver.

in a carry case. I know. I hope it's not a liter of fucking screwdriver. Because that's what they do. I've seen people do that.

I know. I know. I'm not. Listen, let's give Tony the benefit of the doubt. Benefit of the doubt. We need you sober and slinging dick out there. That's right. We don't want you inebriated. No. And keep working, Tony. Keep getting a job. Because I think the job is what keeps him in line and on track. It's true. It's true. I don't like him unemployed. Different men. Idle hands. Different men attract women in different ways, you know. That's so true. Like there's certain guys that like, I don't know, some guys do this bullshit. I don't like that.

Your man doesn't have a lean, energetic, strong physique. I don't like it. Get you off the pill and toxic cosmetics and build a purpose-driven business and lead, protect. He's one of those. It's not for me. But it's still an angle. It's just an angle. It's a way to get laid. Certain chicks are going to see that and be like, I like him. I know, but it's too aggressive. I personally, I mean, you've known this about me. I like men.

I like a dark knight. I'm into the vampires. I like Peter Murphy. I like Robert Smith. I like this. I like Depeche Mode. I like Dave Gahan. I like these out of shape, a little weird. I'm okay. There's something about the dark knight

See? I love the darkness. Look, I love you because I do think that deep down inside you are a serial killer. And I think that's why I'm very into you. I'm drawn to your darkness. But I'm just saying, look, remember when I was your fantasy, Tina? Yeah.

And I dressed up a long, I did it like three times for you. Yes. It took hours to put prosthetic boobs and lips hours. Yeah. All I'm saying is I did that for you. Do you think you could do that for me? Dress up like Tina? No, like dress up like Robert Smith or, you know, Peter Murphy or Dave Gahan. One of your goth heroes? Yeah.

Just once. You've never worn black eyeliner. You've never put on any of my lipsticks. And I have every shade for every skin tone. You didn't even try red. Look, Hitler, what he did was he got rid of the queers. They're not queer. They're all married to women. Yeah. I'm just saying. I know. It's so weird that that. See, that's the thing, though. That's a different angle. So like. Of course. One of those guys could totally seduce you. They did. Yeah. You know how many weirdos. Yeah. That's how they got in.

But that's okay. You know what, though? Can I just talk to you for a second? Yeah, sure. The point of the story is this is what attracted me primarily. Like my young Christina loves the dark. Even when I was just, listen to me. I mean, I'm talking 1984. I'm watching MTV.

I'm not into, you know, the metal guys. I'm into David Bowie. Yeah. I saw him in the video for Blue Jean. Bring up David Bowie, Blue Jean. And instantly I knew this is the kind of guy I like.

I like the British weirdos. I like guys in eyeliner. I like pale faces and cheekbones and cigarettes. And out of shape is okay. This, something inside of me was like, that's the one. He's just thin. He's real thin. Real gaunt. I like the AIDS-y sort of sick. I'm the opposite.

But that's what I'm saying. So then later on, I matured. I got mature. And can I tell you something? Real talk. Yeah. I met you. And because you're an actual alpha male, something primal, too, switched on in me. And I was like, this is the guy. I finally found a real man. Because this is a different lane. Yeah. These are effeminate males. Totally. But your masculinity, I was all in. Your smell, I just...

I still, I'm very attracted to you. Good. But maybe we could merge Bowie with Tom. Okay. Robert Smith. We will have to. Will you do it? No. Please. But we'll talk about it. Just once. Oh, there he is. I still love him. I think he looks great. Look at that. I love that. I think he looks great. Yeah, of course. It's Robert Smith, babe. Okay. Oh, he's so cute. And I like that he's stuck to it.

He's still wearing the black eyeshadow. He's got the lipstick. His hair looks great. Yeah.

Yeah, he looks good. You definitely got it there. He looks good. I would take 10 Robert Smiths over one, that fit guy that we just saw. I'm not into the fit guy. No. This is not very exciting for me. But this aesthetic is exciting? Always. Really? Until the day I die. But do you think it's because you know Robert Smith and his talent when you see this image? No. This is the look that I... My sexuality was formed watching...

Like 80s alt boys. Do you know what I'm saying? Like that nine-year-old Christina in 1984 watching David Bowie. That was my sexual beginning. The Clash watching, you know, Joe Strummer. These weirdos. I like weirdos. Yeah, you do. You've always liked weirdos. Because you also liked that, what is that actor that you always liked? So many. No, the fucking guy.

dark hair, Buffalo 66 guy. Oh, yeah. What's his name? I forget. Oh, he's so funny. I like that weirdo stuff. Yeah.

Vincent Galli. That's my aesthetic. That dude for real looks like Charles Manson. I know. I love that. I love crazy. Now put some black eyeliner and red lipstick and now we're talking. Is that a still from a movie or just life with the denim, the dark denim on? That's great.

I mean, is that just like him out there? Because it's fucking great. Just in the world. You're like, yeah, he's an interesting guy. I just love it. Really? You know, there's mystery there. I'll tell you why. Because the average guy. I want you to die. What does he say? Oh, in the police. Okay. The average guy. Oh, he plays the golden snake killer. Can I talk to you for a second? Yeah, yeah. The average guy, the average male is not very emotionally intelligent, right? You're going to do this, come, eat, right? Yeah.

These guys pretend to be a little more emotionally available to women. Yes, and that's why so I think that's why teenage me was like Oh, he gets me Robert Smith if I met him I just have to meet him and he would fall in love with me, right? We talked about this before and then we would talk about our feelings and he would get that I'm a depressed teenager Like that's the I'm depressed - yeah. Yeah, and then we'd fuck and

And we are back and we are thrilled to bring back one of our favorite guests of all time, the great Tom Green, everybody. Oh, wow. This is amazing. You know, most people are content to have one new project. Why three?

Is it greed? Is it just being greedy? Sounds very greedy. I need a documentary. I need a series. I need a special. I mean, how much did you fleece Amazon for in this negotiation? You know, it wasn't too bad. It wasn't too bad. Nice. But no, it was cool. It started out with a documentary about sort of the history of my show and stuff like that. And they all kind of tie together. Sure. They all tie together. There's a stand-up special, which kind of...

Talks about my new adventures on my farm in Canada. Dude, I just saw the trailer. I saw the trailer for this. And it looks fascinating that you really decided to... You were an L.A. guy, obviously...

well known as an entertainer and comedian. And then you're like, I'm out of here and I'm going to go to, I'm going to get a farm in Canada. Yeah. I mean, it's interesting. Cause like I grew up in Canada. I didn't, I didn't leave Canada until I was 28 years old. So, and then I just ended up in LA when the show was on and, uh,

Never left for 20 years. I did love living in LA. It was fun being there. It was always good doing stand-up. It was a good time to be in LA. I guess when the pandemic happened, I thought, I don't want to be in LA anymore. I moved back, found this farm. Didn't really know anything about farming. That was going to be my question. I didn't grow up as a farmer. What did you intend on growing? What did you know? What did you know? Um...

So I do enjoy the outdoors. Like I would go, I like going fishing and nature and being out in the wilderness and stuff like that. So yeah.

So I basically found this place because I just kind of wanted to live out in sort of the wilderness and just because I'm still touring all the time. And when you come home, I thought it'd be cool to be like not in the city. Yeah. And so that's where it started. But there's these two old barns on the property. And then you think, oh, maybe I should get a mule. Right. That seemed like a logical thing to do.

So, and then it just took off from there. But it's been best experience, best thing I've ever really decided to do. Yeah, I'm so happy to have done it. How long have you been on the farm now? It's basically this three and a half years, pretty much. And do you feel like, because one of the things that I would think after this amount of time is that you've learned a lot on that farm? It's like...

Starting with the mule, the mule, this is Fanny. If people can see Fanny here, she is an incredible mule. And it started out, you know, the idea to get a mule for me was, I was thinking, oh, that'd be kind of funny, like, because I was picturing it looking more like a donkey. Yeah. Yeah.

Because a mule... That looks more like a horse. Yeah, it's a nice looking horse. No, a mule is half horse, half donkey. Oh. And I didn't know this. I didn't know that. So they have like one less chromosome than a horse and one more than a donkey. Or maybe it's the other way around because it's a hybrid. And so because of that, they're really smart and they're stubborn. People say they're stubborn, but they're really smart. And you sort of start to learn all this stuff about...

these animals in order to ride her for example like you know it's taken a she didn't she wouldn't turn left for about the first six months i mean she because she she figured out that i knew didn't know what i was doing and then she just wouldn't listen to me so i had to kind of get some training and stuff but but now i've really kind of have this really close daily relationship where i get up and i ride her off into the wilderness and there's all sorts of places to ride on her around the property and it's the most relaxing thing uh because uh you know it's uh

You know, when you walk outside in nature, it can kind of relax you because it sort of brings you back to your primal sort of instincts of being, you know, predators and, you know, fight or flight and all this stuff. But when you're on a mule, you're also worried about like falling off and, you know, breaking your neck too. So you're really, it snaps you into the moment and just that's what I'm doing now. I'm riding around on my mule and I love it, but it's an amazing thing. So a lot of, it's been a daily sort of thing, figuring out how to,

look after her and then lots of other stuff too. - Do you grow food? Are you growing anything? - Just like a garden. It's not really hay. We grow hay. There's hay fields that we cut. - The crazy thing about you telling this is that

I also would believe that this is an elaborate prank. If you just revealed you were like, dude, I don't have a fucking farm. I'd be like, God, you got me, dude. I wish it was in a way, but then I wouldn't get to live there. I've been thinking about this because I've been talking about the show a lot lately because it just came out last week and

And, you know, people have suggested that it's maybe the most normal thing that I've done in my life. But I don't know. You know how when I started my show, we've talked about this before, but it was sort of back in the early days of video and stuff. And, you know, going out in the street and doing this crazy, crazy stuff was kind of,

you know, not as normal. But now you see it everywhere, right? On TikTok and people painting their parents' house and doing pranks and all this stuff. They're all doing that shit. And it was starting, you know, at a certain point as I've gotten older, I thought, well, you know, because I can't really keep doing that, you know? And then you start to think, well, what would be, probably the weirdest thing I could do would be to just go do something normal now, right? Because it seems almost like there's so much weird shit out there. Yeah. Maybe just to go do something, you know,

Normal. There's got to be people out there watching you do something normal and the whole time they're like, he's going to...

There's going to be a turn here any second. Yeah. Yeah. You know, but it's, it's, the show's really funny. I mean, it's, it's, it's my relationship with my parents is hilarious. They're on the show. You're so lucky to have your parents still. Yeah. And that, that's, that's really the main reason I moved back to Canada. And I, uh, I thought, well, I'm going to move back to Canada, be close to my parents and my brother. And, and then, uh, how far are they from you now? They're about like 30 minutes away. And, uh, and, uh,

And so they're actually at the farm right now. And, you know, I've got, you know, so it's great. But yeah, so they're on the show and they're hilarious. Like they got all the big laughs on the show. I mean, they're kind of, the tables have turned a bit. They're kind of razzing me on the show now. So I'm not pulling pranks on them and stuff anymore. They're sort of, they may pull a prank on me on the show. I don't want to give it away. But if you watch the show, there's,

They may sort of flip it around on me a little bit. Oh, they're so cute. They're so adorable. They're so sweet. Yeah. And also, I shot all the shows, too. So it's like I get my cameras and I'm still doing it. I always like this tech stuff, right? Yeah. We're talking about the microphone before the show. So I get my cameras and I'm really kind of enjoying just the creative...

you know, process of filming and directing these shows. I directed these shows. The last thing I directed was Freddie Got Fingered. So, you know, it's going to be, it's going to be good. Hell yeah. Fuck yeah. It's going to be like good, like Freddie Got Fingered. Legendary. Yeah. It's a classic. Yeah, exactly. I loved it. Daddy, would you like some sausage?

Exactly. So this, because you did inspire so many people to do weird and prank stuff. Like one of the things we do, we encourage people to go to Starbucks. And then in like the latest one, because we've done different versions of this, is we try to tell them, please use a British accent. Yeah.

Please say happy birthday. And try to say I love you if you can also. And then we have people send in videos of them doing it. So people have been submitting. So this is like an example of what people have been sending in for us. Oh, nice.

Now Starbucks is just like, what the hell is going on with this influx of British people? That's awesome. Oh, nice. Thank you for choosing Starbucks. What can I get started for you? Hello. Hello. May I please have one lemonade and one water, please? Not bad, not bad. What size do you want?

medium all right and that would be all happy birthday oh my gosh have you heard i like that he that guy was like yeah yeah have you heard from starbucks uh yeah not yet this is uh this is this has got to be uh star

starting to kind of... They must be starting to wonder at this point if every Starbucks... Is this worldwide? Are British people, when they go to Starbucks, are they talking in an American accent? That's a really good... Because we actually told them... I think last week we were like, hey, if some people feel like their British is so bad, we're like, just do a different accent. Just don't speak in your natural accent. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And then I think adding...

happy birthday such a curveball to somebody who's like, why are you saying happy birthday to me? No, they say happy birthday to the Starbucks? Yeah, yeah. Everybody, okay. Yeah, you just have to say happy birthday. Well, it started with I love you. We just told people we loved them and sometimes they'd be like, I love you too or you have to call the mommy. We would call the mommy. I love you was a really interesting one though because it throws people sometimes. I'd pull up and be like, I love you and they were like,

Everybody's filming it and putting it up online, right? Yeah. It's kind of a nice prank, though. Yeah, yeah. Exactly. Which is cool. I mean, it's sort of nobody's getting hurt here. No, it's positive. It's actually just kind of a nice accent to hear. It probably even improves the day of the Starbucks employee. You know, we've got a lot of these nice British tourists here, and it's very kind of positive. This guy did a nice one. Upbeat.

He's doing like little inside stuff. Oat milk.

Okay. He's saying English. In English. That cheese Danish is talking to me now. You know, I'm trying not to eat carbs. When I see it, though... There's no carbs. A little Paul McCartney in there for a second. I know. When I see it, I think, just let me eat you one time. I better not, love. Let's just stick to the latte, please. Anything else? That's it. Okay, come on up. Thank you. Happy birthday. Happy birthday.

He's really getting some good ones. What's everybody? How are you? What's everybody? Oh, F-A-R-T. Let me grab... Okay, sniff that one. Sniff that one. Is that a thing Brett Sayers does now? They're all show references. Show references. Oh, okay, okay. So he's really keeping it, like, inside baseball. Oh, yeah. Oh, it didn't tap?

His accent's also fading, which I love. Has he appeared on the show before? No. So he's going to be stoked about this, too. He just rose to the top of the pack of British Starbucks ordering pranksters. Exactly. That's amazing. Well, yeah, that's always was...

We tried a few things like that back in the day. It's so much fun when you get people involved, right? Yeah, it's more fun. And I'm actually kind of impressed, though, that it's such a nice sort of warm thing. It's a nice one, yeah. It's nothing too crazy about it. One thing I saw recently, too. Maybe you could probably make it a little crazier. You could make it crazier. You could probably get them to throw something. Oh, my God.

I'm going to tell them to green it up a little. Throw some cheese at them or something. No, no, I'm just kidding. It's nicer like this. Because you don't want people getting hurt, right? No. You don't want to send people out to get hurt. No, no, no. We did, when I did a college radio show before my show, I started when I was not in college, but I guess I was in high school. I went down to the university station and I started this radio show.

in Ottawa and after it was midnight till two in the morning and it was the only time slot they would give me. And at two in the morning, I'd say to everyone listening, meet me on Parliament Hill in Canada, on the front lawn of the Parliament buildings, bring a soccer ball and some pizza.

And we'd go play soccer on the front lawn of the parliament building. At 2 a.m.? At 2 a.m. till, you know, the sun came up, basically. How many people would come out? Like 60 people would come out. Yeah, it was pretty cool. And it sort of became this thing that we did for a few years there. Well, you know, not every week, but, you know, we probably did it 20 times or something. How many of the 60 were you concerned about? Were you like, this guy's fucking... There'd be a few, right? Yeah.

The guy listening at 1.30. Yeah, I mean... And it's guys. It's not girls. It was always kind of people that... I find anybody that ever got involved or engaged in things like that were usually pretty kind of creative people like these guys. They kind of were into the spirit of it. I mean, there hasn't been too many situations where it was...

A lot like today, you know, where it's online and you read, you know, I don't know if you see the kind of things that come in online. It gets a little nutty sometimes. A lot of the pranks now are like to really elicit, almost like elicit violence and get people. I feel like it's, I don't know. I don't find it that...

It seems to me like... There's a guy that bumps into people. Yeah. And then when people are like, what the fuck? He has a bodyguard. Yeah. And you're like, that's not... I like that fart guy you and I pass to each other. Oh, yeah. The guy that just beefs in front of chicks. Right, sure. It's a fart machine. That's so funny. And that's really... He's like, welcome to the barbecue.

Leslie Nielsen used to do that all the time. This is comedy. Farting machines are real comedy. Another one that I feel like is not mean, but it's so funny to kind of like this guy is in a clothing store and he's asking for pants that they don't have, a size they don't have. And then they just keep asking. The guy's like, we don't have that. And then he's like, well, what kind do you want? And the guy's like this 35, 30. He's like, yeah, we don't want.

We have zero. It's like, no, not a zero. We want a 35-30. And they just keep going back and forth. It's interesting how things going on too long has become sort of quite fun to watch. It's fun. I did a video once that was just a throwaway thing that was on my public access show. I don't think it even aired on MTV because MTV re-aired the stuff from the old show. And it's now become one of the most popular

brought up videos where I went to Subway and I just ordered a sub and then I said, oh, can I have a little more lettuce, please? Can I have a little more tomato? Okay, I just a little more black olives, please. A little salt and pepper, some oil. Can I have some little extra mayonnaise? Can I have a little more lettuce? But it went on for like 20 minutes, right? The subs just took...

And this is one of these things where I'm hearing that Subway has been having people doing this. Yeah, yeah. Just a little more. But it was a nothing bit. It was a nothing bit. And then all of a sudden YouTube, it's like the one that popped on YouTube more than any of them. What's interesting is that is Subway allowed to refuse you the free items? That's sort of the loophole. That's what I felt was kind of like the interesting loophole. Because there's nowhere there's a sign where it says you can't have a little more lettuce. Like there's no rule there.

And it's a little more subjective. Yeah. It's not like avocado, which is a premium item. Yeah. I redid this. Exactly. And notice in 1994, they don't wear the gloves either. Thank the golden age. That's been pointed out. Let's see. I get extra cheese as well. I guess I'll get some lettuce. Just a little more lettuce. And I'll get some tomatoes. Black olives, I guess. Look at me. Look at the baby. It was probably 25 or there or something.

He's like, okay. It's so funny. Why is it so funny? It's so silly. It's a huge sandwich. Okay.

Just a few more. That's so much. And it's polite. That also helps that you're very polite. I guess. I guess I want some. The monotone...

It's funny to me that we're actually watching this in its entirety right now. We're not only annoying everybody back then, but we're annoying everybody now as well. I love it. It's so heavy. Look at that sandwich. Just scroll to the end of this. It's only halfway through. He never says anything to you? Look at that fucking thing, dude. A little mayonnaise. Now he's shaking his head. Some lettuce. Yes.

Oh, he stopped you there. I actually forgot whether he drew the line or not or whether I quit. Did he put toothpicks in it? I don't know, but I tell you, that was a good song. You had to push that guy. That sweet man, you pushed him to the point where he goes, that's it. That's it, man. I'm not doing this anymore.

You already got 17 sandwiches worth in this sandwich. That's it. I think that idea started out out of necessity, because I didn't have much money when I was a kid, and we'd go skateboarding. We were hungry. So it was like, you get a nice extra salad out of the deal. That's awesome. But yeah, there's something fun about razzing fast food places, because everybody relates to it. Everybody can get involved. Yeah.

Yeah. But there's like, it's funny because there's this like line too. I mean, you think about it because nobody wants you to be like a dick to like an hourly wage person. Right. But there's something like endearing about, you're just at, you're not demanding. That's a big like factor in it. You're like, I guess I'll have a little more of that. Your tone was great. It's an interesting point because I've thought about this quite a bit over the years because, you know, when I was a kid there, like,

That guy was making a lot more money than I was. I didn't have a job. I was just running around with a video camera and I was living in my parents' basement and razzing people in the street or messing with people, the subway. I was punching up, you know what I mean? This wasn't me going around messing with people in the same way. It kind of felt like speaking truth to power. Like talking to the subway guy. This guy's like...

a real sort of established sort of member of our society that keeps society running, you know? And I was just a kid in my parents' basement without a job. I was going around. It's more, I would apply it more to like security guards. Like we'd razz security guards a lot. Everybody hates security guards. Yeah, and they'd kick us out of places for skateboarding and stuff like that. Charlie, come here, come here, come. My dog Charlie's with me. Come here, Charlie, come. Should have introduced everyone. But so being young and going and doing pranks on the street,

And being young and broke and doing pranks on the street, it felt like less mean. So that's, I think, kind of a distinguishing thing, I think. You know, you see like everybody now has the phone. They can shoot perfect audio and video and sort of the...

ability to enter this sort of world has gotten so much easier for people that uh that you do get the people you're talking about who just haven't really thought it through they're just trying to do something let's go up yes you know punch somebody or you know be mean or but like i like i've been i've been i've been uh i've been guilty of watching a lot of this stuff like i actually really like watching um

I talk about this in my stand-up special, but I'm not doing a bit. But I do watch Karens getting arrested and tased a lot. I do enjoy that. I watch Karens getting arrested and tased. It's something that I really enjoy. And it's sort of mean because...

Yeah. You're not sure who is the instigator here? Is the Karen the one that started it? Or is this sort of the mischievous young prankster sort of? Yeah, they're not pranksters. She definitely started it. Started it, yeah. She got arrested. Okay, good. She did? Can I see the beginning? But then sometimes it's people capitalize on somebody who's maybe a little bit sort of, you know, because you can wind a Karen up pretty easily. Yeah, she goes to throw her. Getting physical. She's about to throw her coffee. Oh, oh, shit. Stop.

Yeah. Oh, she really took a smack at him, huh? Damn. Wow. See, yeah, I can't. I love this. I love watching this stuff. I can't really... Oh, wow, she's really...

Nice. Yeah. The guy's grabbing her, too. Well, he's like, stay away from my lady. But the thing I kind of wonder is, is the guy also kind of like sort of realizes, hey, this is some good content for my TikTok, you know? So they kind of troll them in a little bit, which is also kind of fun. He's trying to get her.

His lady away from her. Yeah. Holy crap. Oh, my gosh. See, at this point, this guy has to realize that, you know,

It's probably not a fair fight. No, but they are filming this Karen without her consent, which is riling her up. Yeah, she came at them, though. I know. She was locked up for this. Oh, cool. The older lady was. The older lady was locked up? Yeah. Wow. Because she really... She got physical. She really hurt that guy, too. She escalated the whole thing, yeah. She really smacked him pretty good. She's going to throw hot coffee at him. That's crazy.

This is sort of our society just sort of crumbling, basically, is what's happening. Well, she got the story. He's wearing a Palestine shirt. That's what fired her up. Oh, okay. So it was political, too? Yeah, it got political, too. Oh, boy. Okay. Well, I do find myself...

sort of watching a lot of this i i watch mostly tiktok now is pretty much what i watch now i can't stop watching i can't stop it's where i get my news of the world because it's yo have you been on world tiktok yet no put that in as a search so instead of your algorithm giving you what you want to see you'll actually see what the fuck is happening in the world it's really interesting stuff or euro talk is cool too oh you can turn off your algorithm

It'll sabotage your algorithm. You know what's interesting is that we actually have some TikToks that... I curate them. But I like to highlight the marginalized communities, people without a voice. Okay.

That was this gentleman's review of the Taj Mahal. Is he ordering a Starbucks? I wish. I'm sweating me buttocks off. Other than that, it's all right. His review of the Taj Mahal. Yeah. And he has to take a shit. It's all right. It's all right. I feel like a duck. This actual modern Marvel. Yeah. It's so cool. That would be my review. One of the eight wonders of the world. It's all right. I got to take a shit. There you go. It's fucking hot, man. I keep sweating. And you're sure that's not on your algorithm? No.

That's all I love. Okay. Here we go. Power practice. Okay. What could possibly be causing her back issues? Put your elbows together. That's ridiculous. Fall, like, fall with your, okay. And then I want you to look up. Okay.

did my she's like did my tits just break yeah like they ripped out you should get tits like that society is crumbling you think for my next round of boobs i should get these because i still have to get reconstruction tom i haven't perfect these are my i haven't gotten my forever boobs yet people say there's no such thing as perfection but i'm looking at it those are perfect and uh just go with what tom says i don't want to weigh in on this but what i mean have you ever seen a more perfect pair of tits

I mean, they're definitely like she did something there. Yeah. There's something going on for sure. That's what I'm saying. They're beautiful. Oh, boy. This is a tattoo on the eyeballs. Oh, yeah. Come on. Why do people do these things? Perfect. Oh, man. Look at that, dude. Yeah, but the end results are so cool, dude. It is so worth it. I can't even look at that. It's so worth it. Tom, come on. I can't even look at that. To me, that just makes me so...

Really, to think that. Really, you like that? It's an artistic expression. I just feel like the idea that you're going to realize at some point that you want to sort of change your mind. Probably hard to do tattoo removal on the whites of your eyes, too. It probably is. Yeah, yeah. That ink stays in there pretty well. You know, you can't go in and do the sort of Pete Davidson, just remove 200. I saw him on Fallon the other day. He just removed all of his tattoos. He did? Like 200 tattoos, and he's been doing it for a year. He's been doing tattoo removal?

Yeah, yeah. But, you know. Wow. I just saw it on television. But I mean, it's like, I don't think you can do that with the whites of your eyes. No, no. I started doing, I have a tramp stamp that I wanted to get removed. And I started, I did once and I was like, I'm done. I don't want to go back for this. It's too painful. Yeah. It's like hot bacon grease. Imagine doing your entire. Wow. 200 grand he spent on tattoo removal. Wow. Good for him. Has been sober. That's cool.

Yeah. I don't have a tattoo. I don't have one tattoo. No. Maybe you'll get your mule. Maybe Fanny. Get Fanny. I could see that. Yeah. I could see that. It really is something, though. Next time you guys are up in Canada on tour, you've got to come by the farm. All right.

We'll go ride some mules. It's sort of outside of Ottawa, in the Ottawa Valley. No, give me the address. Yeah, exactly. I'll give it to you later for sure. Oh, this is David Gold. Y'all like eggnog? Mm-hmm. That's not eggnog! I love it. I just can't get enough of it. Now look at this steak.

I ate all the medium rare parts off of and we're down to the rare parts. She likes these videos. Yes. But that's good because that's a good size piece of steak. It is. I can throw it back in the frying pan and cook it to medium rare and it'll be nice and warm. Just go somewhere. I'm a little warm when I get hungry again.

No, that's why it's golden. He's just showing you his lunch. Right, and that he likes eggnog. And eggnog, yeah. But you didn't know that before we watched this. That's true, that's true. That's eggnog. Well, that's true. You get to see some real authentic stuff now online that we didn't get on television where they had sort of professional writers and producers putting together things that are interesting to watch. Wait, you're trying to tell me... Okay. Okay.

But I like this. But you get so used to that over a whole lifetime growing up watching all this really interesting stuff that it becomes uninteresting. Yeah, yeah. And now to see something that is just sort of

sort of mundane is also kind of exciting. I agree. That's kind of what I'm saying about moving to the farm and just doing something normal. It seems kind of like a little bit new. Well, this feels subversive. Yeah. Like I'm just watching this guy, David, and who knows where he lives. He's making a steak. I was expecting it to be, that's not eggnog. I was expecting something like that, but no, it's just eggnog and a steak. I ate this part of the steak. I can reheat it later. And it's nice. We get to see it to people's places and see how people live. And he looks like he's doing good. So yeah,

It's got a nice place there and makes me feel okay about the way my kitchen normally looks. Although I'm engaged now. I have a fiance now. So my house is like a lot. She's very, she helps me organize my life.

Amanda does. Wonderful. My kitchen used to look like that, but not anymore. Will you get married on the farm? It's very possible, very possible, yeah. We haven't decided exactly what we're doing yet, but yeah. Exciting. We just got engaged right before Christmas. It's very exciting. Oh, Mazel. Very new. And we're traveling around in my camper van, so I'm sure she's really excited about that.

We're living in a van right now. Women love vans. Yeah. And they love sleeping in them. Absolutely. Absolutely. That's how we met. I pulled up in the van. I said, get in. And no, actually, we met on Instagram. Uh-uh. So I moved back to the farm. And there's a pond on the farm that, of course, being Canadian, I thought, well, I've got to play hockey on the pond in the winter. So we had the pond, made a little video of me playing hockey on the pond.

And she saw that. She lives in the area. She sent me a video of a do-it-yourself Zamboni, which is what you use to clean the ice. You know this. You're Canadian. Sure. And that's how we met. The most Canadian way to meet ever. So Canadian. Yeah. And so now we're, I'm doing a stand-up tour right now. So I was just at the mothership last night all weekend. And then before that, we were in.

and Chattanooga and Oklahoma City and just traveling. That's awesome. Doing spots and then we're going to take off and do some camping. Awesome. And then drive back up to Canada. I have not been enjoying getting on planes as much this last few years. So I've started driving more to the gigs. It's kind of... You enjoy it? I enjoy it. I enjoy not going to the airport and I've been sort of

the show so I can just kind of go one to the other. I love flying. It ruins everything, the airport. I want to fly to lunch. Like, I wish I could fly everywhere. You probably can fly to lunch, right? You probably have a jet parked out back or something at this point probably. Come on. Yeah, I do. It's actually, yeah.

This is so incredible, though. I mean, it's just so amazing to see what you guys have done here. I mean, I don't even really understand how it all works. I mean, you must be producing a lot of shows here and stuff. Yeah, there's a few things. Yeah. Yeah, because I was at the studio where I was at the studio. It was at your house, too, though, right? Did I do the show at your house? No. Did you do it in the theater? Did you do the house one?

We did do it at the house. Oh, you did it at your house and then I also did it at... We've had so many studios. You did it at Willing Hills where we had our little baby. Yeah, it was right before you got your other house. That was fun. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. That was a great studio. It was soundproofed. It was out of our home. So I... Stressful years. Now, was that in the first...

time you set up your studio at home, obviously. No. Did you imagine this? Did you visualize and sort of manifest this entire empire? I don't know how this... It all came like...

slowly together. But each move was always kind of like an upgrade in how you do the show. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, it's just... It's amazing. Because there's a clip that's been kind of circulating from my Web-O-Vision show. I called it Web-O-Vision. It was before podcasting was called podcasting. Well, you were the father of this stuff, Tom. If there was no Tom Green, there'd be no Your Mom's House. It was... Well...

Technology was all changing. And I thought, you know, because I'd always made my own show, like on public access, it was me making the show. And then, you know, the internet was happening. We always used to upload audio clips onto my website and things like that back in the 90s, you know. And my friends, Glenn Humplick, who was on my show, the co-host on my show, and Phil Giroux, they're computer guys. So going back to early days, growing up,

doing the show back in the 90s, they were tech entrepreneurs. And my dad was a computer guy too. So they were kind of always looking at, you know, video, how fast it's, how fast the internet has to be until we can actually stream video on the internet. So we're just kind of waiting for it to happen, you know, waiting for just to be able to send video on the internet. Yeah.

And then all of a sudden it was possible. And so I just made Freddy Got Fingered, right? And then after you make a movie like that, if you want to do a TV show, you have to build a studio in your living room. That's the only way to make a TV show after you make a movie like that. So necessity kind of...

Was the reason for it. But then so we did it. But then Joe comes on the show. And I remember he's sort of looking around. There's this really cool clip of him. And he says, oh, man, this is great. You know, you don't need a network executive. Someone's just got to figure out how to make money doing this. Right? And then, of course, Joe figured that out. Right. And I'm playing at a strip mall in Chattanooga. So...

But isn't that wild that you were really an innovator? You were like the first generation of DIY television. It's interesting because I was being in LA doing it and I started inviting just everybody up, you know, all the comics and stuff. And it was really kind of fun. But, you know, there was no revenue stream at the time. Yeah.

I had a couple little deals here and there, but they were barely covering the cost of just my one employee and the cameras and the internet was expensive. Oh, it had to be back then. Yeah, we had to get super bonded T1 lines brought up into the Hollywood Hills and all this stuff. But it was kind of, yeah, it was pretty exciting though. We had a lot of weird shit happen back then because, you know,

It was live and it was, you got to kind of imagine going live with Joe Rogan or, or, you know, whoever we had on that week. And you're the only live show on the internet. Like there was no live, Instagram didn't exist yet. There was no live streaming on YouTube or anything. So you're, we were literally the only live show on the internet. And, and,

And there was a lot of people watching. We'd get a lot of people. The stream would crash at first. We had to figure out how to make the... Did you have an idea of how people were watching? Yeah, there were millions of people watching on various platforms. Because it would then be posted on my website. And it was...

Yeah, you got to remember, like, it was not even, there was no YouTube. So there was a company in San Francisco called bitgravity.com. And they were basically a CDN, content distribution network. And they were basically making servers that you can upload video to and then embed it on your website, right? And they weren't even really making it for broadcast. They were making it for, you know, just various uses, right? Yeah.

And so now we had a... Probably like training videos and information. Yeah, just websites and things like that. And so we were sort of doing this sort of entertainment type show. But I remember, so I had to pay per click. And it was, initially we weren't getting very many people watching. And then this was in the MySpace era. So we then started embedding...

This was right when they came up with the idea you could get an embed code, embed the – this is probably really inside baseball here. But you could embed it on the MySpace page. I remember that.

And so we started doing that. And at the end of the month, I got a bill for $75,000. Right? And I called them up. And I believe I actually was crying, actually, when I called them up. I can't. And then they actually let me off. Then they did a sponsorship deal with me. They did? Oh, wow. They didn't make me pay for it, which was really cool. And this great guy, Barrett Lyon, who was...

really innovative technology guy there kind of came in and they supported 75 yeah because it was just like you know it was millions and millions and millions of downloads and the you know the price structure was set for like you know if you have 10,000 downloads yeah yeah so so but that was that was and I remember I remember one day I replay this in my head quite often actually we were sitting there in the in my bedroom you know I had a bedroom that was sort of the studio where we had all the

you know, computers and everything. And I'm on my computer and I get an email on the website. It's somebody, Hey, we're up in San Francisco. We really love what you're doing, man. It's like a really cool, you know, you should come check out what we're doing up here and maybe do something with us. And I'm like, Oh, that's cool. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. We're just doing our own thing here. Yeah. Thanks. Nice meeting you. And then it was a YouTube, these guys from YouTube. Yeah.

In their apartment up there in YouTube. Oh, yeah, that's cool. You keep doing it. Yeah. In my mind, I was thinking, yeah, I'm doing something. Oh, you do your thing. We'll do our thing over here. That happened a few times over the years where I go, oh, maybe I probably should have gone up and met those guys. But anyways, it was fun. And then all of a sudden,

you know, all of a sudden the technology started to catch up and people were streaming and everywhere. But we had some pretty fun early days. We built a switch. I had some guys working with me who were like, you know, kids out of film school who were like really smart and they would like figure out how to like build weird shit that we'd come up with. Like we had a switch under the desk that we sort of,

like there was a soldering gun involved and it hooked up to the whole studio and you would flip the switch and all the cameras would come on, the lights would come on, the computer would start recording. Another computer would tell the, when you turned it off, it would then record it and then post it. It was doing all this sort of Linux sort of computer code talking to each other.

But it was really basically set up so I could get up in the middle of the night and walk out into the living room and flip the switch and the whole studio would come on. I'd be by myself and then there was a switcher on the table and the phone would start ringing and I'd just do these things. And so I would get up

This is probably why it didn't take off, I think, because I would get up and I would put clown makeup on, usually at around one in the morning, just sort of whenever I felt like it, which was usually at once a week. I would sort of get the urge to get up. I put my clown makeup on, and then I would go out, and it was the French clown of midnight. I would speak French. And I'd go out, and I'd just, every once in a while, you'd tune on, and at midnight, there'd be a two-hour break.

clown speaking french to people calling just french just french yeah and uh and uh yeah so it might have been just a little too obtuse i think for uh for people but uh that's so amazing dude but uh but no it was uh it was fun for sure but uh there was something fun about it being kind of uh you know just sort of just doing it and uh we had a lot of a lot of uh pretty uh

One of the things was we had a group of people who were essentially, their life became about pranking the show, right? And so there's a phone on the desk and they would call and they would say, do a barrel roll, which is what this thing was. It was from 4chan. It was this online, you know, sort of their...

you know, a big chat room basically, right? So they would call up and say, do a barrel roll, or a rick rolling. They would rick roll us, right? And so this was sort of the beginning of the end of the taking phone calls thing, but it became kind of like a thing where it was... I wasn't really sure if I was creating this... What would you do when they... Well, I would feign...

Yeah. To the point, like I was angry, but then I would make it way worse. Yeah. And so we sort of had this ongoing kind of, you know, war basically going on, which was fun. But, you know, I think now that there's so many places for people to prank, it wasn't, it's not as, it sort of became a...

Yeah, I mean, if you, I get people going on my social media now every day saying do a barrel roll. Like they're still mad about it. Yeah, yeah. God. Yeah, here we go. Look at you. Yeah, I'm not sure what, be careful what happens here. Sometimes they said some things that you probably might want to beep out to. Hi, I'm Xenon. And hi, Tom Green. Tom Green, can you do a barrel roll for me? There we go, do a barrel roll, yeah. A barrel roll? Yeah. Yeah.

A barrel roll. On air. A barrel roll. A barrel roll. A barrel roll? A barrel roll. I have a feeling this probably doesn't go anywhere, by the way. A barrel roll. But... A barrel roll. Likely goes on for about half an hour. But that's you also dealing with it in the moment. Yeah, yeah. Repeating it. Oh, yeah. And, you know, it was... There was this feeling of...

Even though we would have a lot of people watching, ultimately, when you were live, it wasn't necessarily... I don't know, there was this sort of anonymity to it, even though there was ultimately a lot of people would watch the videos when we post them. But there was this sort of feeling that you could sort of say anything on the internet back then, and it wasn't really being watched by the...

You couldn't get canceled for saying something wrong or something. Not that we made a habit of going out and saying things you're not supposed to say, but there was this sort of feeling of like nobody's watching this, which was kind of nice, actually. It was kind of, you know, you could experiment and not worry about screwing up. Sure. Charlie, look at this girl here. Come here. Come here, Charlie.

It's my dog, Charlie. Oh. Did Charlie fart earlier? That was me, actually. That was you? It was probably Charlie. Oh, hell no. It was a good fart. I just thought that was the thing to say. Is Charlie a boy or what is... Charlie's a girl, yeah. Charlie identifies as... Yeah, identifies as a girl. She's a girl. But yeah, she's a rescue. She's named after John Steinbeck's travels with Charlie. Oh.

Cause, uh, we were, she's a beautiful dog. Her first year of her life. We spent out in the desert, uh, in, uh, in the van. But, uh, yeah, she's, uh, she's got a sweet face. Yeah. Yes. Rescues are special too. She comes on stage with me and all my shows too. Yeah. I think I saw a clip of that. She's gotten to the point now where she just sits there in a little chair and, uh, enjoys the show. Doesn't get thrown by noise or anything like that. In the beginning she did, you know, in the beginning she did, but, uh,

But she's pretty cool with it now. In fact, I'd say that she actually looks forward to the show. Really? I can tell at show time, you know, when we're doing shows every night. Before the show, she's... And then she hears the crowd. I see her hear the crowd. And then she walks towards the stage. That's cool. It's a nice thing. That's very cool. Here's something nice to kind of take us out on. Oh! Oh, shit. That's a good one. He's okay. He's okay. Oh! Oh!

Oh, oh, yeah, that's not good. Nice. Golf cart jumps are fun, though. Is that a rascal or a golf cart? I think that's a rascal. That could have been a rascal, yeah. That's a motorcycle. Oh, oh, man. Oh, it fell on him. That's the worst. Really where the damage is done. Yeah, oh, boy.

Oh, that's a broken neck right there. Come on, man. Shit. How many people must be... What are they feeding that lawn? Have they statistically done any sort of studies on how many people have been permanently sort of altered, paralyzed by...

you know, because of the front falls, because of social media, because of this desire, because of these phones and the, and you know, of course the, this sort of trend, I guess, because of us, you mean? Yeah. Because of you guys, this is good. All of us being jerks, creating this stuff. Yeah. Yeah. Celebrating it. Absolutely. Absolutely. Well, because people pay attention to the wind. Oh, wow. You know what? It was all worth it. He made it onto, onto your mom's house. Yeah. Yeah. It's fine.

Oh, man! The face plant is... Yeah. That's always hard to watch. Yes. Is he okay? I don't think so. I know. I don't think so. Scranney. Scranney. Is there any blood coming out of his mouth? Scranney. Scranney. Oh, boy. Oh. Oh, my gosh. So, do you know what happened to him? He's fine. He is? Yeah.

I think he's okay. Oh, there he is. Oh, boy. He's okay. He's sitting up. Poor guy. Oh, he's walking. Okay, good. He's got a back break. Okay, here's the list. He'll make that jump the next time he tries it. This is the injury report. Ready? Eight broken ribs, pelvis broken in two spots, fractured C4, C5, and C7 neck, double brain bleed, 23 broken bones in right shoulder, medically induced coma for three days, and

He's been recovering for three years now, and he's back to doing wheelies and basic stunts. Oh, good. Well, that's good. Just living. Don't want to give up on those dreams of making that jump. Scott Kranich. Yeah. I always had sort of a... I was a skateboarder. I loved skateboarding, and I always did jumps and stuff, but I always sort of had something in my mind that said, okay, that's the limit. That's the line. You knew a line? Yeah. Oh, okay.

Hey, Tom, did you get your period? Did I get my period? I got mine right before we started. No, I haven't. At the break. I'm right on the, I'm about to. I can tell that it's like. I got to track mine. Hold on. I'm going to put it in my app so I get my days. A lot of times our periods sync up. Oh, yeah. Nice. It is kind of cool. So how's Garth Brooks doing? Has he gotten a hold of you? Or has there been some sort of, any sort of resolution to that? No. You know what's interesting is that

We heard through personal contacts that he was very unamused by this. And then shortly thereafter, there's alleged accusations by his former...

makeup artist that he allegedly did things to her that are very, very nasty. But you were sort of suggesting he was a serial killer, I think is what it was. Was that the suggestion? I don't know. I don't want to... Allegedly, you suggested that. What I allegedly said was that allegedly that people had gone missing that kind of lined up perfectly with certain tour dates. It was just a fun sort of observation, right? It wasn't meant to be taken seriously, I don't think. I also noted that he had some vague...

very notably awkward just personality traits okay have you seen his facebook posts and his social media posts they're very unnatural there's okay you know what it is it's like the uncanny valley do you know what that is like when someone's robotic where they appear to be human okay but something's just slightly off like chris gaines was an interesting choice as well

You said it. But a great country artist and incredible legend of our time, right? The dark side of the force. Because I just put out a country album. That's why I brought it up. Oh! So I was just tying it into myself. Oh, fantastic! In addition to... Go check it out. It's called Home to the Country, and you can hear it, and it's available everywhere right now that you get country music. And you get... This is the Tom Green documentary, which he directed. The Tom Green...

series. Oh, wow. And the stand-up special, I Got a Mule. Yep. And an album. And an album, yeah. And the album is the...

soundtrack to the show and we record it. There's this incredible legendary band from Canada called the Tragically Hip who- - Yes, I know them. - Yeah, so absolutely. So we recorded it all in their studio and the music sounds great. So go check out "Home to the Country." - Do you ever do this thing like when you introduce yourself to people, do you go, you know, I'm a director, a producer, you know what I'm saying? I'm a choreographer. I make music. - Yeah, with that accent and everything. - I was just making up an accent. - That's good, yeah, absolutely.

I don't know if I do introduce myself like that, but at one point I think I had that on my Twitter because I saw that's what you're supposed to do. I put director. Now it just says goofball. Oh, that's better. Goofball's my favorite. You know, Hitler was a goofball. A lot of people don't know that. Well, maybe I'll have to change it back to what it was before, I guess.

Have you ever seen, before we press play on this, have you ever seen this? This is Garth's introduction to social media. I think I may have seen it on your show. Maybe on ours. But it's been a long time since I've seen it. This is when we first learned kind of how. Because I followed this sort of what's been going on because I watch the show. This is when he joined Facebook. I guess it's official. We're now on Facebook. I really wasn't sure about this at the start. But then a friend of mine said something that just made all kinds of sense.

She said, think of it more as a conversation. I like that. I see. Okay, maybe I haven't seen that, but yeah. That's one. It goes on. It's much longer, but you know. How do you feel watching it? What do you feel? It feels like it's the beginning of a sort of mainstream media colliding with

independent media and there's sort of a way that things were always written and done before and it doesn't really translate to you also feel the discomfort inside of you I don't think that that guy is like a serial killer or anything like that well you have to watch more no you have to watch more you need to watch more look at his eyes I guess in my case

hotel room. I really, because it's just such an absurd thing to suggest, which is what's hilarious about it, but I would think that maybe he would have to come on. Maybe he could get Chris Gaines to come on the show. That would be cool. You know, we've reached out multiple times. Okay. And the feedback we got was no. No.

Oh, well, I think it would probably serve at least Chris Gaines well to come on the show and let bygones be bygones. I'd like to see that. I believe that will happen someday. I hope it happens. Tom Green, I have to go to the flyport, so I have to run. Thanks, man. It's always great to see you, man. So good. Thank you for coming in. Appreciate you having me on. Make sure you check out the documentary, the series, the special, and the album, which

You know what I'm saying? I make music and shit. And maybe stop by the farm. I want to come see the mule. Yeah, absolutely. Thank you for coming. Thanks, Tom. We'll see you guys next week. I love you.

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