Replacing Christina w/ Duncan Trussell | Your Mom's House Ep. 773
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Can't wait to see you. Welcome. Welcome to your mom's house. Welcome to another episode of your mom's house. As you know, Christine is recovering. We certainly...

Send her our warmest wishes. Hope that she's doing well. And, you know, you just kind of got to keep doing stuff. So sitting in for her today is new Christine. Hi. Hi. How are you? Good. Really good.

Everybody's happy that you're here. We've all just been just elated to have you fill in. I feel so connected. I'm just so happy to be here. Yeah. It's really cool. It is cool, right? Yeah. Everyone's saying how cool you are. Oh, thanks. So what is this whole thing? Is this... This is our podcast. I love podcasts. Yeah, you're on one. So...

Whoa. Yeah, I know. I know. Wow. And I just feel like, I feel such a bond already. I just, I don't know. Yeah. Yeah. Ever since I met you a few minutes ago, I was like. That's so hot. It is. I know.

So I feel like, I don't know, it's weird, but when you walked in, I was like, I mean, I don't know if it's saying too much, but I was just like, soulmate. You know what I mean? Yeah. I don't know if you felt it too, but. I so felt it. You did? I so felt it right away. Yeah. So you're a comedian or something? I am a comedian. Yep. I'm a comedian. I love comedy. You do? I do. That's cool. Yeah. Who do you like? Just like everybody? Everybody. Yeah, everybody. Yeah. Yeah.

Me too. Everybody's... So, yeah, I actually have... I don't know if you want to help me out. I have some dates coming up. Dates for? For to-do stand-up. Oh, I thought you meant like dates like going out for dinner or something. Oh, no, no. We call our stand-up shows dates. So if you want to... They're on the board there. I don't know if you could read some of them for people. Okay. Okay.

Under my name, Tom Segura. Oh, the big bold letters right there. Yeah. Okay. August 24th, Calgary. Oh, I'm from Canada. Okay, so Calgary, Alberta. Yep. Looks like there's still some tickets. For the early show. For the early show. Yep. The late show sold out, so we're trying to, that's the 24th. August 30th, Tuscaloosa. What is AL? Alabama. Alabama. Looks like there's still some tickets there. Yeah.

September 1st. That's in... Oh, right beside there. I see it. Okay, Memphis. Memphis. Memphis, Tennessee. Tennessee. That's right. I thought that was Texas. Okay, there's still some tickets there. There's some tickets there. Then the next is September 5th. Lincoln, CA. California. California. There's still some tickets there. And then September 6th.

Coachella! I love Coachella. It's so much fun. Isn't it fun? Yeah. I won't be at Coachella. I'll be in the city, though. The casino is located there. But I know what you mean. Have you been to Coachella? No, but I just heard it's really fun. And then September 7th. Las Vegas. Oh, my God. I love Las Vegas. It's so cool. It's so cool. Yeah. I went to Las Vegas, like...

Not too long ago, and it was so much fun. What'd you do? Just went out on the town. Yeah. Yeah, I met some cool people. Cool. But okay, so it looks like he's going to be this... What's your name? Mine's Tom. Tom, okay. Tom is going to be in Las Vegas, Nevada. Yep, September 7th. On September 7th. Yeah. That's good. So how was your morning? It was good. I woke up and...

I'm here. Yeah. Yeah. That's cool. I worked out and then, you know, I had eggs. Eggs are so good. You like eggs? I do. I just love eggs. How do you like your eggs? What's the one when they have like the yolk not disturbed? Not disturbed? Yeah, disturbed. Yeah. I believe that would be like over easy or something. Oh, I thought it was like...

sunny side up yeah i had them i did over medium um so a little more cooked the yolk i don't like them that cooked you don't like them that cooked i didn't have any uh diarrhea well that's good we don't want you don't want diarrhea i know i didn't have any at all hey what's up you're here well yeah i told you i was gonna be a little bit late but i didn't think you were coming in

Oh, actually, she's... Hi, I'm Christina. I'm new Christina. Oh. Oh, my God. You guys have the same name. That's crazy. Well, just because everybody... We didn't know if you were going to be here today. So... Maybe. I thought that maybe you... I didn't know if you were going to be here. I'm so glad you're here. I'm here. Okay. It's cool. Okay. Thank you. So nice to meet you. Are you going to... Do you want to...

Are you going to watch the show or? No, I was going to co-host the show with you like we've been doing for the last 13 or 14 years. Yes. That's awesome. Yeah. Okay. Well. I'm here now. I mean, I can take over if that's okay. Okay. Okay. Cool with you or? Yeah, sure. Should I stay here? Maybe. No, just.

Let her sit there. Yeah, it's your seat. You want to sit right here? Yeah, that's kind of... Then maybe you come around. Come around. Yeah. Okay. Yeah, you come around. So nice to meet you. Nice to meet you, too. And then, like, I don't want her to feel bad. Right. So should she sit, like, on my lap? Mm-hmm. Yeah. We'll be right back in a second. And we are back. It is...

Amazing to see you. Thank you for coming in. Well, I thought we discussed it this morning and I was getting ready and stuff. I totally forgot. I totally forgot. Totally forgot. How did you... How did that even happen? Don't know. Came here, fucking...

Zolo just brings people in sometimes. So that was on him. I don't know who that was. Sorry, Gene. I thought you weren't going to be here. No, it's my fault. Miscommunication. I'm glad she's gone. I'm glad she's gone. Yeah. So I just got back.

I was in Los Angeles. Oh, that's right. Doing some work on my thing. Working on my show. Working on my show. Working on your rhymes. And rhymes are better and beats are better. What did I miss? How have you been? Nothing much here. Just had a breast surgery and a reduction. Everybody, look at my new tits.

They're so much smaller. They're not as nice as new Christina's, Christine's, but... But I'm stoked. Yeah, they look great. Dude, these are... And they feel great, right? I mean, I feel so much lighter. My posture's better. And I can't believe it took this situation for me to get a reduction. Yeah. I don't have to wear a bra. Amazing. It's fucking great. But...

Here is the turn of events that I should... I'll just get into it. Okay. Is that okay with you? Whatever you want. Yeah. I'll tell people because I... Why not? I don't know. I've never hid things and I don't see a reason to and I'll just... So anyway, yes, we did a surgery to remove the cancer and then we did a reduction and these are gorgeous. Yeah, they're great. And I'm so pleased. But...

I'm going to have to get a pair of fakers. So they didn't unfortunately get everything. And after we did the first surgery, they went through the material they took out and there's still some left. So mommy's going to have to go back and get chop chops, both tetas. But then I'll get some really nice fakers. So I...

will have four sets of tits in my lifetime. - The originals? - The originals. - These? - These, the reduced, and then a temp track, they're gonna put in like temporary ones so I won't be flat.

And then the final result, which I'm super stoked for. But I don't want anyone to be alarmed. Don't be alarmed. It's contained. It's nowhere else in my body. And after this, I should be right as rain. And I feel positive about it. It only took me, what, nine days to come back after my surgery. And what did you say? I told you. Cancer's kept. But what did you say about it?

Sorry, what was it? After I told Annie, I go, it took me nine days. And you said? That's right. Well, it only took you two more days than God. So there you go. Wow. That's what's up. That is what's up. Because this cancer is like the Taliban. It's so sneaky. I know. We didn't know. It didn't show up on MRI. It didn't show up. It's incredible that it has this behavior, as the doctor said. Oh, wow.

The silver lining, if you will, is that you get anesthesia again. Fuck yeah, dude. And the pills were pretty rad. And I got to say, you were a little selfish with the pills. You were a little selfish. Stingy with my pain meds? You didn't ever go like, you want an oxy? You never offered. That's true, but that's because you were the person taking care of me. Yeah, but- And I didn't want you to be high. A little high? I can't handle being high a little bit?

I mean, what do you want? I got all kinds of shit. Just toss me an oxy every now and then. Just hook me up. That is the best part about this is now I can. What do you have right now? What's left over? A pill dependency. A lot of muscle relaxers. Mm-mm.

What do you have in the Oxy department? They don't give them to you. What do you have? Stop dancing around it. I got some 5 millis, bro. Yeah, I got a few. Okay. I got a few homies. Are you taking them all the time? No, because they make your poop shoot back up. Okay. And I want to do that. Maybe we get home today and you go, hey, you know, it was a nice day.

Would you like to have a little... Kick you down? A little nightcap? Is that what they say? They used to say, kick you down. I've never heard that. I'm going to kick you down. Okay, well, kick me down. All right, homie. Kick me hard. I know. Kick me twice in the ribs. Kick me once. Yeah, so anyway, but I'm stoked to get Fakers now, like now that I've wrapped my head around it, because it's like, it is a disappointment and a shock to have to go back again, but... Under the knife. Yeah, it's like, you know,

And I keep, so my surgeon's pretty cool. I have two surgeons that are working on me and they're awesome. And I think they've done a great job. Crazy part. What? Both are women. You're like, did you go to medical school or how did you do this? It's crazy.

It kind of is because I'm so sexist too because back in the day it was all dudes. And now these, and they're all concerned with like, you want to conserve your breasts? You want to have sensation in the nipples? And I'm like, really? This is new. I was like, what, did you guys read WebMD and just show up here? How do you know this stuff? And they're like, no, we went to medical school. I was like. Yeah, they're so sensitive. Okay. So.

So yeah, I know it's a shock and it's disappointing. But I'm fine, dude. I'm like, I'm going to just fucking do it. I think it's going to be a pain in the ass. Yeah. But I'll be okay and I'll be back in action. And like, the fuck, dude? The fuck, bro? I got the Taliban in my tits. Can I play you something to change your mood? Yeah, are you kidding me? All right, let me open you up here real quick. Daddy Reese's mouth loves to wreak havoc.

on you women's butt cheeks. Oh. That's nice. Isn't that nice? It's really cool. Thanks. Welcome to your mom's house with Tom Segura and Christina Pagitsin. Welcome to your mom's house. Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow. Meow, meow. Meow, meow, meow, meow, meow.

I mean, he'll eat your butt cheeks. Do you want to read? There's also for people listening. There's also a caption on the video. Oh, let's see. Could you read it? Ladies. I don't want to. Please. I changed my mind. All right. Ladies, I'll eat on your clits like I'll do one of those manwich sandwiches. Thanks, Tom. That was a really cool first clip to bring me back.

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I've been a little high on drugs the last nine days recovering. And yes, I've been a little bit bored. So I bought the kids a hamster. This happened a while ago. And then I thought, what's better than one hamster?

Two hammies. So right before surgery, I bought us this fucking crazy hamster dude that like we had it in a box on the way home from the pet store. It chewed through the box. It chewed through the box on the way home. That was cool. This thing is crazy. And so we have had three hamster dogs

Yeah. In the house. And the first one was just like total fluke. The second one, the kids left the cage open and you were not pleased. No, I did not like that. You don't like that. It made you very upset. I mean, I'm not a big fan of this family of pets. This type of pet is not one that I'm excited about. We can't have dogs or cats because of allergies. One of our sons has allergies. But like...

Then knowing that it's free and it just really makes me uneasy. And then I leave and you're like, oh, I got a new crate. It just brings me. Look, I don't do well with feelings, especially feelings of sadness and depression. And I was like, fuck it. You know what? I'm going to buy another hamster. I know. But you also decided to buy a new home for the hamster. Yeah. Let me show you. So this is actually the third cage. The third cage. And it is enormous. That is taking up.

half of a room now it's called the hamster habitat tom it's more humane than a cage and that's just for one that's for one hammy that's the savage hammy that's the savage hammy so you came home and you found hammy in that but the reason was so that fool got out a third time remember this is what you haven't told me yeah bro so remember you left and the search was on and you found for hammy yeah you know i didn't tell you what went into finding hammy wait

This is the time you said, I found it. And I did. Yeah. But it took a little prep work. So, oh my God, dude, you didn't even know this. We were at dinner. We were at dinner. You were sitting, right? It was here, here. And then Jane was sitting next to you and we're eating. And I fucking hear...

Like scrambling. Like it's in like that. And it's in the walls. It was in the walls right next to your fucking head when you were eating dinner. Wait, how did you know? Because right before you came to sit down for dinner, I heard it.

scrambling in the walls. What do you mean in the walls? So you know where our dining room table? Yeah. Right behind you is that wall and that cabinet. There's a wall right behind you and then the front door. It's not a full wall. It's like a little partial. Okay. It's like a... You mean if you're seated with your back to the front door? Where you were sitting, yes. Or the head of the table. Yeah, the head of the table where you're sitting when you're in your back is to the front door. And our big dining room table, there's a piece of wall and I...

you heard that heard it and then i was like to jane i go you cannot tell tom that this fucker is in the walls he's gonna freak because this is the third escape and you're gonna kill me and i've already bought this crazy hamster like this is crazy you're gonna you're gonna divorce me and i and i put a christmas tree in our room too by the way and i mentioned that there's a christmas tree yeah you put a christmas tree but anyway okay there's the fucking there's my christmas tree and

Like I've already, I'm off the deep end already with this cancer shit. Like I'm losing my, I'm already doing stuff to feel better. That doesn't make sense. So we eat dinner and Jane and I are just like praying that you're not hearing right behind you. It's like a comedy. It couldn't be funnier. It was so perfect. And you're telling, we're just like, so tell us about the thing, Tom. And,

Right behind your fucking head and you don't hear it. And then so you leave and to Brian I go, look, we got to get this fucking hamster out of the walls before my husband gets back. He's going to be furious. So he calls a guy over. So first of all, when you have like rodents in your walls, the exterminator won't drill holes in the walls. So we had to get a guy to come over and drill holes in the walls. What?

We fucking drilled, dude. We drilled holes into the walls. Where? You know the front door? Yeah. That wall is right to the right of it. We drilled a hole in that wall. And then on the other side... And then they patched it up? Before you got... Wait, so hold on. So...

So, so, so we're all like, okay, I hope this fucking hamster comes out because otherwise it's just going to die on the walls. And we're waiting for the exterminator to come, but he doesn't come until the next day. So we have this night of like, please let this hamster come out. So we put food out, we're waiting. And I'm, I can't sleep because I'm so codependent and I hate when you're upset with me. Like I can't handle the feelings of you're upset. Yeah.

And I'm like, he's gonna be so mad at me and I've got to resolve this. So I'm up at fucking midnight high on oxys looking for a hammy and my tits are hurting and I've got a flashlight and I fuck, I find it, dude. I find the hammy by the kid's room. So it did come out. It did come out. We lured it out with treats.

So it came out of one of those holes? Presumably so. How did it get into the wall? Do we know? We do know. We found there's a tiny little area under the cabinet. Okay. You know, they only need an opening. Yeah, and that's how it got in there. And it got in the wall. Did we plug that up? Don't know. You know what I'm thinking about right now? Divorce? No, new Christine. No! New Christine was just here.

She would never have tricked you like that. She never would do this to me. Dude, they patched it up so that you didn't, you never have to know. But I thought it'd be funny. I would patch up the original entrance. Yeah, we will. We'll get on that. The level of fucking deception involved here.

I hate when you're mad. I hate when you're mad. It makes me so uncomfortable. I'm not mad. I'm not mad. Anyway, do you like my Christmas tree? That's very cool. So I put this in the room to make me happy during all this bullshit. I should also say, because we want to welcome you back, and I'm excited that you're back, that the fans have been reaching out. Oh, so nice. Thank you. Very sweetly. Tons of messages I got. In person, I did a bottle signing. A lot of people at the bottle signing were like, I hope Christina's tits are getting good.

Thank you. And then a lot of messages came in of support. Yeah, I'm very grateful. Thank you guys so much. Mr. Clavicles said all you had to do was eat Tom's scrum, but no. That's a good point. That's a good point. You could have been healed. Oh, Mr. Clavicles. We're going to rough anal gangbang this tit cancer to smithereens, mama. You got this. Yep, that's from Mechanical Pencil. I love it. Christina's going to beat cancer like Tom beats her down the stairs when she doesn't want to hear. Peter Madsen, thank you.

This is amazing. Let's see. Can't wait to hear how Bert makes us about him. Oh, yes. I've been getting many texts from the Chryslers. They're very supportive. Very sweet. It's a very insightful one. Yeah. I got a mammogram baby. Tony John. Shout out to Tony John. Hate from your white blood cells. That's good. Medium-titted animal just doesn't have the same ring to it. No. Very funny.

That's true. I get a second opinion that Scanner was probably a Lenovo. Good point. This is Captain Marceau. My tits went down. My tits are no longer mountains. Bye-bye. Fucking A, that is so funny. Did you try Thoughts and Prayers? Of course. I laughed at that one in real time. That was a good one. Beaten fucking cancer like Ike beat Tina. What lumps got to do with it? Very funny. Ta-ta there, titty cancer. I love it. Look who wrote that. RPC. RPC.

Well, he was one of the first people to send me a lovely video. What did he say? Don't give up. Don't give up. You're going to beat it like I beat my meat. Free Manny. That's Manny. That's Manny the tool hostage. Wow. A celebrity in the comments. Thanks, Manny. Wow. I hope you got some new Snap-on tools this week, Manny. Oh, that's so cool. I'd love to see a video reviewing them.

Hitler strikes again. Oh, Hitler. That's good. Well, that's great. Thank you. I mean, obviously they all love you and support you. It's been very overwhelmingly supportive. I really thank everybody for reaching out and sending messages. I went on my own path. I wanted to welcome you back. I wanted you to feel joy getting here. So I meticulously went through a series of videos and

sent them the Zolo and I said, please have this ready to welcome Christina back. I think this will make her feel like she's home again and on the show. So here you go. Wow. That was a killer find. Yeah. That was amazing. Yeah. Oh, I like his pants. Yeah. Oh yeah.

good this is a whole for those people just listening this is the lane of men who want to just show their faces and bodies and then they don't know that or they just yeah they don't really know what they're doing at all i don't even know that they want to show something they're just like what is this and then they go upload this is so good he looks like one of the guys in get out he looks like the gardener yeah you know right who ends up being like her he does have a weird smile he's like

Oh my god! Yeah, the guy. Yeah, that guy. Holy shit, I think it is him. And then he smiles all weird. Dude, that's him. Fucking... Bro, that's... I'm still high on... I'm high on meds, but I think... Yeah. Pretty cool. Very cool. Whoa. He does have pretty eyes, that guy. But do you like... These are good videos, right? I love these. These are my... Oh, yeah. He looks like our hamster. There's Chipster. What the fuck, dude?

That facial hair is wild. I was going to say, how does he get it to go out? Does he sleep on his face? Also, you have a few chest flakes that have fallen from your beard. Oh, my God. He needs to wipe those beard flakes off. Jeez. Yeah. I don't know how they... How do you get it to grow quite like that? Dude, how does it go out? Like, I just don't want to be this person. It looks like a monkey's asshole, his lips do. It really does. I know. It's perfect.

no she's amazing a woman very rare very rare very rare good find chewing gum is also a cool touch I like that a lot well there you go welcome back that was amazing yeah there's the show that you know so much thank you so much

Thank you so much.

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See Mint Mobile for details. I was waiting for that. Yeah, super excited. I am really happy to be here on your mom's house. I have to say, this show keeps me so going and makes me so happy. It's fun, right? It's the best. Yeah. It's the best. I want black cockadeers. All right. You're on your mom's house again. I feel like he could get it.

Oh, somebody would. Sure. Somebody would. Yeah. Probably not the most thoughtful person, but someone would do it. Yeah. Do you think he's touched, right? Yeah. I'm just making sure. You need a reminder? I can't tell. He could just be slow. But do you think he's like touched or just slow? And do you have to get it from another touched person to make it?

Like, is it legal to have relations with someone that's touched? It's legal. Some people frown upon it to the not affected person. They'd be like, hey, what are you doing? But no, it's not illegal. If you're looking to connect to people, play matchmakers, you can go ahead and do that. Josh, can you Google it? Is it legal? It's definitely legal. Are you sure? Yeah, there's no laws about that. There should be laws. They're childlike. No, that's fine. I'm married to you, Emily.

Oh, no. Read it. Yeah. People with Down syndrome have the same legal rights and responsibilities as other people in relation to sexual activity, including the right to express their sexuality freely and form romantic relationships. Just to be clear, I didn't have any question about this.

I was not curious. I knew that this was not a law. However, people with severe learning disabilities may be legally considered unable to give consent, which could apply to a small percentage of people with Down syndrome. Okay. Well, I think this guy just being like, I want dicks in my ass. I think he's all right. I feel like if he can say that. Yeah. Yeah.

Another thing, because I know you've been in bed, you've been resting, you've been recovering, just in case you were neglecting the lower half of your body. When the penis go in, the man don't feel it. They say, where I am? They cannot feel it. And that is, suddenly they feel that, hmm, my white chain already. Ladies, they have to learn exercise. And they have to learn how to squeeze the egg

and pull to strengthening the muscle to get it back more stronger because woman muscle can be loose when woman don't practice you gotta practice the vagina is too loose you won't have baby it's very loose yeah when after the labor and everything the menstruation stop and everything now when the men make love with the wife again they can see the big difference on the woman

Because it's too loose. Too loose. So they have to learn how to contract the ovary, uterus, and vagina. They have to do the practice. Yeah. So this is something that I was thinking that while you're laying in bed, you could work on so you don't feel like you're not doing anything. Yeah. How did my resting period affect you? I remember on vacation, you were very upset that I was sleeping in until 10 a.m. And by the way, on my TikTok, a lot of the people sided with me.

In the comments. I don't think that's real. You think it's just robots? Yeah. Bots do that. So. Anytime someone sides with you, it's probably a bot. I don't believe that that's real. Maybe when I'm under this time, we can have her do my blephs and my vagina. Great idea. And my tits. And fix your nose. And then you're done. My nose? Yeah. What's wrong with my nose? It's very bulbous. Really? Yeah. I would get your nose. I pull this back. Yeah. Pull this back. Mm-hmm.

Should I get bigger cans? I mean, these are like hungry tits now. What are you doing? Imagine a pig with small tits. No, it's imagine. I mean, I can still go back to being your big titted animal. It's not too late, Tom. You remember Tina? I do remember. Those were ideal.

Can you do Triple H's? I can do whatever I want. Here's the deal, man. Yeah. If they're fake, it's, I guess, not as heavy. Right on the back. Right. Like, I don't know, unless I'm wrong here. I wouldn't have to wear a bra. It's the bra that hurts, really. There you go. Maybe I'll get huge cans. Hey, don't tease me with a good time. I think I'm very supportive now. You'll see a lot more of me if you do that. All right. Okay. Let's do it. Okay.

You want to take a quick titted break? I can't wait for this guest. I know. I love him so much. And actually, he was like the first person I called when all this shit happened. And let me be the first and last to say good riddance to new Christine. Yuck. We'll be right back. And we are back with one of our all-time favorites. He is absolutely fantastic. He is sitting in. Give it up for Duncan Trussell, everybody. Thank you. Thank you.

Thanks. Thank you. First of all, it's fantastic as always to see you. Great to see you. You look younger. Thank you. Your skin looks clearer. Thank you. You look thinner. Thank you. And more muscular. Thank you. What's going on? Well, I have been doing a men's shaming retreat recently.

It's incredible. It's new research. You can look it up. I think Stanford just did a whole study on how shaming helps you lose weight, build muscle, build character. So yeah, we go out to Peru. Yeah.

Wow. We drink ayahuasca. And these aren't shamans. They're shamans. So they shame you. Oh, my God. Like, what a loser you are. Oh, look at you, you fat, stupid fuck. How could you be a dad looking like that, you fucking piece of shit? That's awesome. And you're high as a kite. Yeah. And, like, they will piss on you. And the urine helps the skin. Yeah. That's what I was going to say. Your skin is so clear. Oh, my God. It, like...

After the first day, my acne was gone. Wow.

Yeah. And I'd already started developing like abs by the third day. I was like getting kind of ripped and it was, it's incredible. And even though you are, your body's changing, they do not let up on the shaming. Like he's, he calls me sometimes and he's just like fat ass. Yeah. You, you're still a piece of shit. Like it's in you. Like that thing that it'll come out again. You know, isn't there like some of that stuff here? I don't think you even have to go. You can,

probably do it here in austin right aren't some of these guys in austin as well yeah there's a really good shaman that like flies in like every few months and yeah it's the same thing because i try to get rogan to do a men's retreat and he was like what and i was like it'd be so fun like kind of go and you like you let your feelings out you know you cry and then i guess the whole thing is like

You know, they tell us that when you... Like, little boys are sometimes discouraged from crying, right? Don't cry. That's for chicks. Chicks cry. And then this retreat, I guess here, is that they...

They encourage you to cry. And then as you start crying, they go, you're a fucking bitch. Yeah. That's fucking cool. That's what they did. Oh, they lured us in. Yeah. So the first day, you have been humiliated, shamed. I don't know how they did it. They found my porn history. Oh, my God. So they're using that against me. So everyone's broken down.

And so then they're like, okay, that's the end of this part of the retreat. Now we're all going to get together and we're going to weep and sob together because everyone's feelings have been massively hurt. One of the guys tried to kill himself. Wow. Yeah, it was nuts. And it's easy to shame someone who does that. Well, that leads us to the sobbing group. But now you're with a bunch of dudes and...

and they take you into this clearing. They're burning like nice incense, frankincense. And, um,

You think it's these masseuses are coming out to rub because you're stressed. Your shoulders are tight. And they start massaging you as you're sobbing. And then they start squeezing harder and harder. And they're like, just like what you said, you're a bitch. What the fuck is wrong with you? Like, you're a man. You're out in the fucking jungle weeping. What are you doing? Look at you fucking assholes. You spent all this money on this shit. What about your family? What about investing? You're such a fucking pussy.

pussy you have to go out to the jungle to get humiliated and then they're just just start choking you man wow and that's how you go to sleep the first day wow they choke you you're unconscious it's the kind of cool thing about this kind of retreat is that it feels really confusing too that's got to be nice yeah it's it's because you don't really know what's going on you were you were encouraged to do something and then you're shamed for it and then you're like what the fuck

Probably shocks your muscle groups as well. The adrenaline. The gaslighting. Yeah, the gaslighting causes... If you do enough gaslighting, you get these involuntary... They call it hostage twitches. Because it's something that shows up and people have been kidnapped. You just start... Your muscles start shaking. And that shaking and twitching, that's what tones you. For sure. That's so cool. That's so cool. I'd love to go. Oh, come to the next one. I'd love to go. You will love it. It is like...

yeah, it's rough, but it's not as hard as exercising. And if you get results, who cares? You get results. That's all that matters to me. And it's nice because we've also mentioned some of these groups here in Austin where the men just get together and cry like homos. But what you went was like an added component of fitness, which is really cool. Okay, yeah. So you're talking about like the classic bitch retreat. Yeah. Yeah, CBRs. But see, now the CBRs,

they, what's interesting about them is they don't realize they're like right on the precipice of getting like hardcore ripped. Yeah. They're just, I imagine they're, you know what, they remind me of like, I don't know, like bitch, like,

monkeys or proto-homid. It's like, I'm sure that when humans were evolving, there must have been like not a Neanderthal, but some kind of version of human that was just like a classic bitch. And so, but wanted to make fire. Yeah. And like has sticks and is like kind of rubbing them together. But then like, it's just,

And then they cry. And they were about to make fire, but they didn't. So yeah, the CBRs, they're just on the cusp. As soon as somebody gets in there and starts humiliating them while they sob, we are going to have a generation of hardcore men. Ripped dudes. Ripped dudes. So cool. Being ripped is really what it's all about. Well, I mean, that's a part of it. But guess what? I can't feel anymore. After these retreats, I can barely feel anything. That's the best part.

All up here. Yeah. Like you have to go up here because it's so humiliating and it's so bad. You go up here. That's awesome, dude. It's so much better. No emotions. Nothing. Blank. Like just a hum of blankness. And have you found your alcohol consumption or weed intake to be higher because of this?

Oh, you know, before, well, that's one of the shaming things is the tequila night. So like, you know, I love to drink, but like I can't drink a bottle of tequila. No. You can now. Well, yeah, you better believe I can. I had no choice. Like you have to do it. They like punched me so hard. I fell on the ground. I don't know if you've ever been like punched really hard by like a guy who was in prison. Like they punch different. Very different. Yeah.

It hurt and I'm laying there and like, this is before I learned how to disassociate. I can disassociate anytime I want now. I can just not be here. And so, and then like I'm shaking and then they just pour the tequila into your mouth. You have to swallow. If you don't swallow, they stomp on your nuts. I got one nut left. So it's like, I just drank it all. You just drank it, yeah. And now I can drink. I can smoke. I can do any drug. You probably hit your kids a lot easier now.

It used to freak me out, you know, but that's one of the, they, they give a workshop on that. Yeah. Yeah. Cause like a lot of soft men don't hit their kids. You could say pussy. Yeah. A lot of, yeah.

But yeah, I mean that's the other that's was one of the classes as you can say pussy Like it's a lot of dudes are afraid of like pointing out like who a pussy bitch is. Yeah, you know what? I mean look look how immediate you're there. I'll chase somebody down Yeah, dude, if there's no no one around to see and I see a pussy bitch Yeah, like I don't even want to it's it's like born identity shit like you just go bully springs out of me I chase him down

tackle them rear naked choke fucking mount their face or whatever whatever we need a city full of guys like you is what i think a hundred percent you know what they say strong men make slow men slow men make dumb men dumb men make pussies pussy men pussy men make i can't remember what they made but somewhere down the line sure get like

Sociopaths. Yeah. And that's what you're looking for. I think what you're describing is what's happening in a lot of Eastern European cities. They have that kind of men bread, you know? What do you mean? Oh. Like tough fucking. Oh, yeah. That's true because what you're describing is a lot of the guys I grew up around in my own family. Yeah.

You're describing like most Hungarian men, I think is what she's saying. Well, I mean, yeah. God, Zernag Vil was the, he discovered this whole process. Oh, okay. So it kind of originates from there. Yeah. It comes from there. Zernag Vil. So funny. Yeah, Zernag Vil. Is he Russian? Slavic? Slavic.

He's mysterious. No one really knows. He lives in a tower out there in Eastern Europe in some kind of dark tower like near like a, I don't know, a cursed forest. I don't really believe that shit, but they say he lives up there. It's so fucking weird. It is fucking weird.

It is weird. Well, I'm glad that you're in therapy. I know she's been really high lately. She doesn't let me go in the toilet. I have to go in buckets and bowls so that she can bathe. I've been drinking. Yeah. Drinking it. Yeah. Yeah. No, it's just like, Oh, you're in therapy. That's all I've been doing. Yeah. I mean, listen, it's the, it is the way, I mean the golden road. Yeah. None of the fucking, it's so funny because every time we bring it up to the doctors, they're like,

This is nonsense. And then we realize how uneducated they are, which is a funny moment because we're like, oh, did they not teach you about this in medical school that you went to? Oh, they taught them. You know what they taught them? They said, don't let your patients drink their own piss because they won't be coming back because they're going to heal. And then we're not going to have insurance companies sending big checks to us. Bingo!

Just look at your doctor's face. Anyone watching this, the next time you're at your doctor, say, hey, I'm thinking about drinking my own piss for the next couple of weeks. And look at their face. Look at that flash. Because their face tells you everything. Or your oncologist, when they're like, you should probably do chemotherapy or radiation. What do you say? No thanks. No, I'll inject myself with my own piss. I'll be better in an afternoon.

Yep. And they're just like, in their minds, they're just seeing, oh, fuck, like the upgrade I wanted to do on my yacht. I'm not going to afford it. There goes that vacation I was planning. That's it. Yeah. It's simple, simple things. Humans have been on this planet for so long. And there was a time when there was no water here. Yeah.

No water. All we had to drink was piss. That's right. And that in the Bible is when people used to live to be 800, 1,000 years old. How do you think this fucking evolved? It was because of piss. Why? Because of piss drinking. It is in the Bible. It's got to be. It used to rain piss. Jesus used to. Yeah. Oh, Jesus. You know, because everyone knows this and I don't want to like, everyone knows this. I'm not trying to edgelord here, but a lot of books didn't make it into the Bible.

And so if we look at the stories of Jesus, what do we see? Healing. Healing. But they leave out how he healed people. Look into it.

It's out there. You can find it. Drinking his blood. I mean, it's all there. Fluid bonding. His blood. That was not the true Last Supper. I was going to cut themselves open. You're going to piss in a bottle. But that is the ancient Hebrew word, I think. I think it was a mistranslation they said in the Old Testament that blood is actually urine. Yeah, right. It's Greek. It's Greek. Blood is...

And then urine is Pistrius, which is where piss comes from. Wow. That is crazy. Yeah. And it sounds like completely different words. Oh, hey, there's new Christine. Hey! That's new Christine. So I have a question for the super, super hot guy on the left right here. Oh, yes. What? So what was your porn history? Oh, my God. Oh.

Oh, God. My porn history is like 99% missionary position and 1% like women enjoying sex. And out there, they just hated that. Like you're supposed to be into anal and like BDSM and stuff. And so that's why they were like humiliating me with that. Because you were into like square shit, right? Yeah. I mean, I just didn't want it. Like, you know, before I went to these retreats,

I would watch porn and I would think, how many of these people are human trafficking victims? How much of these people don't want to be there? How many of them are moms and have no choice because they need to get insulin for their kids? And so my idea when I was pleasuring myself was to find missionary positions. That's good. Because probably amateur missionary. Amateur. That was my genre. I'm sorry. This is all very fascinating, but why is this...

This Christine is still here. I thought new Christine was going to... Yeah, me too. I don't understand why this is happening. The boys. They just put me in here and put me to work. And I'm so happy to be here, though. But I did have another question for you. Sure. What is that in your cup? Is that the piss that you've been saying that you've been drinking? Oh, my God. Yes, it is. Is that what it is? Yes, it is. Because this is how you know...

that you're getting healthier is once you start drinking your own piss, your piss turns this color. Really? When you cut out the devil's spit, which is water placed here by the devil to trick people, the deceiver, then your piss turns this natural healthy brown. And you also do a little Red Bull still. That's okay, probably, right? This is piss too. Oh, you put it in there. Yeah. I would love to try some of that later. Oh, I'd love to give you some of my piss. I would love some of yours too. What is happening?

Well, I'll tell you, the guys were saying that she has great ideas. What ideas? It's a vibe, too. It's like the place feels like... It feels lighter. Yes! I walked in here and was like, I don't know, something's changed. It feels good. It feels like the sun is shining into the studio. This is crazy. I've never done this before, and I guess I'll do it now. I usually consult with people, but...

You're the new executive producer of all the shows here. Oh, my God. Congratulations. That's so hot. Thank you so much. You're welcome. You're welcome. That is so cool, man. That is cool. And you'll learn the ropes. I think the guy said that it really taken to you, right? Yeah. We didn't even have to show her the mute. She figured out how to get onto the mic herself. No shit. I think she has experience in the field already. Let me ask you this. How are you with Googling? Googling.

Do you just like Googling? I mean, I'll Google some stuff, but I get a little bit sidetracked sometimes. I'm like, I'll end up looking something up and then it'll be completely, totally different. That's not really the job. Is that okay? I could Google some stuff and then let you know what I find. Why are you guys burdening her with like hardcore tech stuff? Like it's her first day. Take it easy, man. Solo, are you okay with this? Yeah, I mean, she's great.

She's really bringing a lot to the table. She's really good at pushing buttons. I love pushing buttons. I mean, you just tell me which button to push and I will push it, okay? Jesus Christ. Day one? She's already doing that shit? I'm telling you, I've had to train people to do what she's already doing in ten minutes. That's awesome. It's pretty crazy. It's impressive. Wow. That's maybe our best hire. First office when you walk in, that's your new office.

Oh my God. Thank you. Yes. You're a leader. Thank you. You're a, you gotta come drink some piss with us. I want to do it. I want to do it. I can't even imagine what you'll be like when you stop feeling. Can you imagine? Like, I just feel like I normally would be like asking, like, do you think this is a good idea to people? And I just felt it this time and I just did it on my own. I feel like it's because I was spending time with you, honestly. Oh yeah. It's the aura. I mean, I'm not, all of, all of us have it when we come back. Like we, when we're around dudes, we're,

You know, they get hard. I'll take it a step further. I'd like for you to come on the road with me this week. Okay. Oh my God. What a great idea. You can open the shows. What are you talking about? You can open my four shows. She's not a...

yes yay and you know what if you want to go out to dinner with me I can like help you work on some jokes or something like that oh my god totally that would be really good cool great awesome just have her get a tight five going and that's fine yeah no problem it's easy by the way what's a tight five it's just we'll talk about it you'll figure it out later we'll talk about it over a nice cold glass of piss super hot okay cool cool

By the way, because I noticed you put ice in it. Yeah. So is drinking it cold or different than drinking it warm? 100%. And it activates it more. The cold activates it. So you always have to put ice in your piss. Okay. Don't drink. I mean, you could drink warm piss. You're going to get 10%. Really? That's where probably everybody fucks up. Yeah. Yes. Can I tell you something? I think that's why they didn't.

That's why this cancer is still in my body. I was drinking it warm. Yep. You're just not getting all the benefits. It's like when I go hunting, which I started doing after the retreats, a lot of hunters, they will take down the prey.

And then they will take the skin off and remove the organs, remove the meat, and process it. They call it processing. And you might as well just throw it in a dumpster because you're getting none of the prana, none of the life energy in the flesh. So I hunt with knives only. Holy shit. Daggers. Do you do blow darts? Yeah.

Yeah, I will do a blow dart from time to time if I miss with the daggers, which is very rare. Oh my God, that's so hot. Thank you, yeah. You got to come hunting with me sometime. You take it down with a dagger. It takes a lot of daggers, by the way, to take a deer down or something like that. It's like you have to...

I stand above them and have to throw daggers at them for six minutes before they die. That's unreal, dude. It's so badass. You just dig in. You eat the meat raw? You eat the skin, the meat, the eyeballs, squeeze out the remaining urine, and then you cover yourself in the blood, and then you lay in the sun for 20 minutes and sun your taint, basically. I don't want to get scientific. I need to go on a date after this.

Oh, my God. For sure. Like, I have so much I could teach you. Wait, but Duncan, you can't go on a date. Aren't you married? You have a wedding. He's got a wedding. She didn't mean... Oh, great. Oh, I'm sorry. So I guess guys can't be friends with ladies in your world? That's... Wow. What's your problem all of a sudden? What's my problem? You guys are both married. You're married to me. What?

Do you know that? Yeah. Baby, I don't know. I don't feel good about you taking new Christina. Because I watch her pee and she's in charge of the shows now? I don't know, babe. We got to talk about this after the show. I don't think it's a great idea. We could all three talk. Oh. We could all three have a talk. I think that's a cool talk. I don't know. Every morning she comes. That's a new thing now. She comes here in the morning. She pees into a bucket and then we throw ice in there. Yep.

I think that's a good... Ice it down. Can make everyone feel better in the office. Great idea. I don't know what's happening. I feel way better with her in the control room. I just feel safer. That's all I'm saying. All right, guys. This is insanity. Later today, you go home. She and I will come over and we'll figure it out. Yeah. All right. So are you a fan of pranks? Do you like pranks? Yes. I do too. There's this thing where the...

Foreign countries take pranks to such another level that is basically not allowed here. Like what? Well, there's like, I don't know if you've ever seen some of the shows that are abroad when they go like, this was a prank, but this has become my favorite one that I've seen where this guy, I'll just play it for you and then we can talk about it. But that guy's being pranked on the right side. Oh my God, he's chloroforming him? Oh! Yeah!

-

Here's the camera. It's a funny, funny bit. He's not good, dude. He's not good. He's not LOLing.

He's having a heart attack. Yeah, he could die. That was terrifying. Look at him. He's going to puke. Oh, my God. It's like, drink this piss. Make yourself strong. He's like, guys. He's trying to get his body back together. Right?

See that smile? That is the smile of submission. Once you gaslight at that level, shame him down, he will do anything they want now. They own him. They do. His body went in. He's full PTSD from this experience. Oh, yeah. That's right. Which I assume you do, too, from your retreats. Oh, my God. I have so much PTSD now. It is brutal.

You're like a fucking war vet, basically. I mean, I... Some people say they wake up screaming. I scream through the whole night now. I scream sleep. How is your wife handling this? Soundproof room. It's more like a soundproof kind of casket that I sleep in. You just scream through the night. Scream sleeping. Yeah. Yeah. Scream sleeping. That is cool. Yeah. And then...

How do you feel when you wake up? Are you just adrenalized? So good. Adrenalized. I jump out of that soundproof casket and I am ready for the day. That's awesome. I only need two hours of sleep, too. Oh, wow. I used to need... Perfect. Two hours of scream sleeping equals 16 hours of regular sleeping. Wow. Pussies sleep for eight hours. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. We call them hibernating bears. Yeah. They just...

They just, oh, let me get in my comfortable cave and sleep for eight hours, you fucking pussies. You're wasting time. You should be working all the time. I know that a lot of North Korean laborers, after they get out of camp, saying they prefer concrete floors with no blankets and no pillows.

Because they got used to that. And that's how you really get good rest, I guess. They don't want to bed. We have gotten used to soft things in our culture. Feminine things. Yeah. Thank you. Feminine things, pussy things, bitch things. That's like you go into someone's house. It's like a museum of bitch and pussy furniture. And it's like, you should see my house now. It is just...

just concrete floors and that's it. That's awesome. No furniture on the floor. All gone. Yeah. It's just concrete. And we've got a basket of like, of just what the sailors used to call hard tack, which is like a really tough bread. Wow. That's a tough diet because you're only drinking your urine and eating hard bread. Oh,

Yeah, tough diet, huh? I mean, listen, I don't mean to be a dick, but like, I guess the way I feel must be the way like a time traveler feels going back to caveman times. You know, because it's like everyone is so of nature's plan. You must feel like the world is just full of idiots because you're one of the few that kind of is doing the right thing, right? No one gets it really. Yeah, I mean, you know, I don't want to say yes, like...

basically idiots but also I think of it more as like people who were born into a Luciferian brainwashing system where do we where do babies sleep

In a crib? In a crib. A crib? You're going to put your baby in some soft cage? Are you fucking kidding me? Because what do babies do when they wake up? Cry. Scream. They cry and they scream. Why? Because they're in that soft crib and what they really are wants to be on a concrete floor. Yeah.

that's what they want oh my god you're so funny thank you you are so funny it's like ironic and i guess in a way it's funny i mean to me it's kind of tragic to think of all the babies with their little soft diapers that dilute the urine with chemicals it's true i guess there's like if you are really want to raise a warrior you make them sleep on a floor even the girl babies i

Yeah. Even the girl babies. Like, why would, why would there be a difference? Yeah. What do you want? You want your girl to be like a little bitch? I guess not. I mean, this is the thing. Like, uh, at these retreats, there's a set. It's like actually like on so many signs around the camp and it's, they have speakers everywhere where they like talk. Um,

And one of the things they say over and over again is a hole is a hole. A hole is a hole. A hole is a hole. Because like that's the other problem. Look at the ancient Greeks. Oh, yeah. What did they do? You're reminding me. Butt fuck city. You're reminding me of Will.

Will has a lot of insight that I don't know if you've studied with him yet. So I just went for a run, did some workouts and pushups. I'm just pulling back my foreskin and I'm just waving my hummus cannon around that shroom. I'm sniffing. And there's a very subtle pheromonal primal secretion of apocrine pheromones underneath the foreskin and from the sides of the glands and the, uh,

what's it called? The scrotal sack. And it's really interesting because in ancient Sparta, the men were constantly working out with their foreskins forward. They would wear this little thing called a kynodesme, K-Y-N-O-D-E-S-M-E, which in English means dog

tie and it was a string to tie their foreskin forward. And then the foreskin underneath would get very, very sweaty during the workout, during the naked wrestling, et cetera. And then they would go and shower together and they would pull back their foreskins and you get this very rank, primal, masculine, pheromonal release from all of the mushrooms in the bathhouse after they wrestled naked in the gymnasium. Gymnos means place of male undress. Yes.

And so I find it really interesting. Men are really missing out on that aspect. Like there are, you know, hockey dudes who get naked, they pull back their foreskins and they'll shoot their hummus onto a cookie. But it's always done in the dark in a sense of like in shame and secrecy. Let's bring these rituals back into the light, back into the sun. Let's get those mushrooms out and sniff, sniff, sniff. And

Bring in 5D, right? We need to activate the pheromones into the olfactory sense. Hell yes. I love Will Blunderfield. Will Blunderfield there. He's the best. He was at the retreats. He's always been there. So just so you know, I've seen his evolution from complete bitch into this...

perfect he was 350 pounds yeah 350 pounds no beard yeah after the second ayahuasca shaming full fucking beard look at his skin it's weird because your beard is identical to will i thought that was you i i wish it was me thank you you're very kind i i'll never like honestly like i wish that i had evolved as much as he has but

Probably the beard similarity is because one of the exercises is we smell the shaman's

mushroom yeah and and uh that creates a similar beard he actually makes this point i mean i'm sure you've heard at the retreat but i didn't realize that he says to like if you don't like play with your friend's nipples or like sniff his taint or like yeah hold his cock or massage his balls and wrestle then if you don't do that kind of stuff you kind of are gay like it's 100 it's gayer to not

kind of wrestle naked with a guy. 100%. Because the ancient Greeks used to do that before battle. Yep. They would suck each other's nipples and build the musk under their penises. And those are the straightest guys. Yeah. So like, if you're like, I don't do anything with other guys, then you're probably gay. I mean, I'll tell you, if you really want to talk about like gay, like it has nothing to do with like...

You know, gay would be, I don't know, smelling a flower and being like, this smells so good. That's gay. Right? Yeah. But smelling a man's taint before you go into a bloody fucking battle. That's hardcore. There is nothing more masculine and hardcore than that. Yeah. Smelling a man's taint. Yeah. Smelling a man's foreskin. Mm-hmm. Giving the man your seed.

to empower him while a man behind you is giving you his seed. You know, this is what made this country great. And we have lost it, friends. We have lost it. We got to get back there. Thank you. I'm sorry to get political. Hey, watch where you're going. Sorry. You know what?

You're in need of an attitude adjustment. And you're the one who's going to take care of that, fucker. Just relax. Just go with the flow. Wow. Guess what? Wow. These dudes are straight. Oh, of course. They're mechanics. Yeah, they're mechanics. Goes without saying. Well, you know, I hope those are the people working on my car. Yeah. Because they're going to do a good job. Yeah. After that, they're just getting ready to work. That used to be in America. Yeah.

in the factories that made our country what it is. Every morning, 6 a.m., that's what you would see. Yeah, exactly. World War II era, yeah. Those were the people making the tanks. The bonding ritual between men. And the camaraderie I imagine it builds. It's just got to be unlike anything else. It is like magnets. Like you, it's just once you connect in that way. Okay, so...

Obviously, all humanity derives from semen. And so we have been gifting women with our semen for so long. Without anything really in return. Yeah, I mean, yeah. What do you get back? Like a baby? So if it's that potent, semen has made every great man. Winston Churchill.

He started as semen. Yes, he started as semen. That's so true. Now, if his dad had gifted that semen to a man instead of a woman, that man would have become 10 times better than Winston Churchill. That's so true because he's a man already. Exactly. Wow.

So you kind of are wasting a lot of your semen on women. I mean, yeah. You know, it's not, if you're like, no, I don't take offense. It's not a waste in the sense that, you know, we do have negative population growth in this country, but up until the point where we go full automation, which is coming, uh,

we still have to gift the semen to women a lot. Yeah, I get it. But, you know, it is a time will come where that will be more of a sort of hobby. I want to say this too. I mean, we all face our mortality all the time, but the two of you have been, you know, faced like the... We're cancer buddies. Cancer club! Cancer club. Here's a man. I wonder what your take is on this man who is...

older but also is facing the same type of thing it's just here you go like a beautiful woman to come and uh make love to me and to the point that i had a heart attack and died i'm not afraid to die what i'm afraid of is that i can't die the way i want to die yeah amen dying should be a normal thing and they should have a company you call up a company should he be driving listen i'm 98 and i think it's time for me to go i'd like a beautiful woman to come and uh

-Scoo me to death. -Hell yeah. -Until I didn't have any more energy and I was dead. -That's awesome. -That would be a good way to go out. Having fun and glory and happy and I'm sure I'll have that worked out. -Yeah. -Even if I have to go to Switzerland. -Totally. -This is one last shot. One final load. Nobody-- -I think this is my dad. -I love his crown. -About death. And that shouldn't be.

It's just a normal part of going through life. You know what's wonderful about this? What? Is that when you're 13, 14, you're kind of in the midst of puberty and your hormones are going out of control. Yeah. You think to yourself, when I'm 98, I hope I die busting a load. Yes. And then you go, you realize as you age a little bit that like, well, that's kind of a,

kind of a ridiculous fantasy. Yeah. It's so nice to see that somebody's actually at that age and is like, no, no, no, that's still how I feel. That's exactly what I was thinking. Because the idea is your sex drive atrophies. Sure. But it's like, that guy is so horny. He's 98. Yeah.

He's like, somebody fuck me so I can die while I'm fucking. It's really inspirational. It's beautiful. But he's still driving and he's lifting weights. He's got the crown. He's got the one eye. He's still doing his shit. That's rad. You know, he doesn't know it, but he came up with a great idea for a business. Visiting angels of death. Whoa. And obviously it's...

This is an Amsterdam idea. You're an angel too. You're an angel. This is like Amsterdam should be embracing this idea. I don't know. I think one thing he's not maybe thinking about is the experience of riding a

an old man's cock until he dies. Like, you know what I mean? I don't think he's really... He never mentioned it. The idea of being on top of a... But you know when he's going to think of it? Right now. Now that you're planting that seed, I think. Right. Right now, he's probably like, oh shit, I didn't even think about that. I could go out...

In a way that I kind of wanted to and also be super masculine. Right. Yeah. Yeah, exactly. I mean, I would just think like probably he should like, why does it have to be a woman? Doesn't. Like, I think like, you know, what would be better than going out as an old man with a warrior riding you into the afterlife, like a horse, like a Pegasus into heaven. Like he should reconsider. Mm hmm.

But I don't know that it would be, like, I think watching someone die while you fuck them. Well, here's the deal, man. My grandfather died during sex, had a heart attack. So my grandmother was, like, half his age. She was 50. She was 25. And it happened. Tight, right? Yeah. She never remarried. It did traumatize her. Like, imagine, like, you fuck your spouse, and then they just roll over, and they never wake up. That's what happened. He rolled over, though. He rolled over and had a heart attack, and he died.

Yeah, but he went out very happy. But he's happy. Yeah. He went out happy. Yeah. It is kind of, I mean... And then she dressed up my uncle like a little girl until he was five. So I'm just saying maybe there were some weird things after. Right. The trauma wasn't... Right, yeah. You know what? That's not his problem. He's gone. It's true. That's your problem. He's down the road. Yeah. Like, you know, that is a like...

interesting way to say goodbye. Yeah. It's just like rolling over and dying. It's bad enough when you have sex and you're like, all right, good night. Yeah. But he was like fucking out of here. Yeah. Dead. Wow. That is really intense. I wonder how often that happens. I don't know. It probably happens with some frequency. It's not that rare. No. But an older person has. It's happening right now. I can conceive of it. It's happening right now. Yeah. So why don't we. Someone just died. Why don't you show a.

Duncan, what's, you know, it's in your folder here. What is in my folder? Your talks, man. Oh, TikToks. Yes. You know, as you know, I like to showcase the marginalized communities. That's a nice one. Spinning it. I love these. Here we go. Hi, princess. That's it, huh? That's it. So this...

And you know what? That's the first person you see when you die fucking somebody. And he greets you man or woman with, hey princess. And you're like, oh shit. This is the pearly gates.

i was just on a call with nine other men where we were completely nude and we looked down at our jewels and we gave loving affirmations and we have conversation with ourselves yeah with our genitalia the extension of our heart many men afterwards claimed that this felt so natural

It's felt like this is what we should be doing as men. Having conversations about our whole body. About the shame that we have. About the guilt that we have. About the love and the power that we hold. That our whole body holds. It's not just exclusive to our biceps. It's the whole package. And this is what we're doing in the Grow Dojo. So...

If you'd like to consider joining the next round, we're already three weeks in, we've got another nine weeks to go, but if you'd like to consider joining the next round,

Send us a message on the Bro Dojo, and we'll be sure to put you on the wait list for the next one. Jesus Christ. Is this one of your buds? No. No way. He needs a shaman. Yeah, this is feminine. We don't do that. When we all have to look at each other's dicks, it's like, oh, fuck, man. Humiliation. Oh, my God. I can't even tell you the humiliation I got. It was brutal.

brutal. And is there a way to humiliate everyone's dick no matter what it looks like? Oh, like my massive cock. Like I was when it was time. Yeah. I thought to myself, at least this is something they won't humiliate me for. Sure. But the problem is I've broken my cock like four or five times. Wow. So, and of course like, but once you get to this certain level of trauma you, I don't even know why, you get like an intense erection. And

And so they started calling me zigzag, Z, broken fence, winding road. Like, oh, did the snake get run over by a motorcycle? And they broke you again. They broke you again, right? Karate chop. Yeah. The shaman was like, let's add another fucking break to this thing and just chopped it. Wow. Oh. Did you get to go to the hospital or was that too personal? Yeah, I wanted to.

I was like begging to go to the hospital. I can't get a rec now. That's awesome. But now you feel like more of a man. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. I have a pump. Yeah. That's so cool. God, I love this stuff. You got to come. Hey, sexy.

that's it yeah it's just and who's it to don't know it's just to the world it's just to the world that's fucking he's amazing he does this every day hey beautiful hey princess and that's it just hey not even here's a problem with this one he doesn't even hope that you're having a good day right he doesn't even like wish you well yeah it's just the high hello yeah it's like where is he

What is that place? Right? That's like the island of Dr. Moreau. He's like somewhere in some island, guaranteed. You're right. He's got a nice suntan. He's enjoying his summer, but he's lonely. He does have a great setting. He is right. That is a beautiful setting. Yeah, he's in a beautiful, beautiful place. Well, you got one piece of the puzzle down. That is a great backdrop, sir.

Wow. That looks totally natural. So for those just listening, this is a facelift. I found this. This is a Russian facelift doctor I found. Yeah. I feel great. Looks good. Yeah.

She slept with sleeping pills. She's saying, in other words, you were really comfortable. She's saying it was great. That's the doc. He's happy with his work, too. He should be.

- He's like a-- - Look at the sides. - Wow, holy shit. - Amazing. - That is so high level. - Reduced the ear lobes, made the ears more young.

That's a regular post-operative period. Beautiful. It's crazy that he wants to show himself. Yeah, he's very proud of his work. Yeah, I mean, I get it. That's like a... It looks exactly like a mermaid. Okay, so here's the crazy part, because I've been following this Russian plastic surgeon. Mm-hmm.

Her outcome is really good. Is it really? It's wild. Really? So cut to like, I think it's like two or three months and she looks really good. Does it settle? Yeah. Because she looks like a cartoon. She looks crazy, but it settles. The only thing is you can't see the side. So that's the telltale sign of a facelift is right here by the ears. And she does cover it with hair. So I imagine all this stitching is not great.

But she looked really good. I have to find it and send it to you solo. I'm going in for mine in, like, what, three weeks? Are you really? Yeah. What are you going for? I'm doing a facelift, and then I'm going to do blephs, nose, lips, jawline, chin, and just, you know, pull the ears back a little. Just freshen them up a little. He's so soggy. His face looks saggy. Yeah, that's great, man. I'm proud of you. That's really cool. Yeah, thanks, man. I was, you know, it's like...

I feel like I want to... I told him, I was like, maybe look like, I don't know, like 25. Hell yeah. Yeah. Yeah, that's a...

I'm doing the hair too obviously are you gonna get plugs gotta get plugs are you going to Turkey or are you gonna do it local well I'm doing the hair in Turkey face stuff in Moscow and yeah it's like and that's gonna cut into my surgeries coming up I got well we're both having surgery it's like that kind of makes sense yeah you can't do your surgeries you can't do both at the same time oh here she is that's her now wow this is her what

Wait, this is her before. That's before? Hold on. That's day one. Jesus Christ. And then she looks great. That's six months later. I think she looks really good. That's you in a few months, man. Holy shit. You got to go to Russia. Dr. Yeah. Dr. And it is a great time to visit Russia right now.

It is, right? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Just took the whole family there. Yeah. That's cool. Looks great. That is cool. Kids loved it. They did. Oh my God. Red Square. We were going to do Afghanistan. And that's, I heard that's really like adventurous. Oh, and I'll tell you in Afghanistan and in Russia, everyone's like, oh, they don't like Americans or they, when they treated us like Kings. Wow. Oh, like dudes, we didn't even know.

Pull up in a van, took us on this whole trip through Afghanistan into a cave system, which was incredible. Yeah, intricate. Oh, yeah, intricate. It was amazing. They left us in this cave.

up in the mountains, the whole family. I guess it was like extreme hiking or something. That's so cool. We had to find our way through the mountains. It was badass. That's the fun part, though. She's been reluctant to go. Well, no. Oh, you gotta go! I know, I know. And I heard there's good soup in Kandahar. It's the soup capital of the world. I've heard of this, yeah. There are chowders or something. Kandahar chowder. Yeah. So this is just a still? Yeah.

that's a good video huh this is this is like tic tac and he's like my preference is asian slash brown women and it's just his puffy face what the that's it that's it that's it that's it that is crazy be honest is that what i look like right now that's what you're gonna look like after the work i mean it's an aspiration yeah do i

Nah, man. Yeah, it's like looking at twins. Yeah, it's tough. You look great, man, but you're doing it the right way. In the morning, just full disclosure, in the morning, he does look a little like that, like puffy, you know, just from the night of drinking and he eats a lot of high sodium. It's crazy we both have the same preference and we're both like the same look. Oh, wild. That's interesting. So that implies like a genetic thing. A genetic thing, yeah. Yeah, DNA. Wow. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Oh, this feels like maybe what you did too. Is this from your retreat? I don't have to watch it a little bit more to see. Oh, maybe he just got shamed. Yeah, it depends on why they're crying. Maybe they're probably looking at their stupid little dicks and then they're like, your dick is soft and gay and then let it out. Let it out. Let out those tears. It depends on where their fists are too. Like when we did it, they would fist us while they shamed us. I don't think it's a sin. I don't think they're shaming that guy.

They would fist you. Oh, shit. Well, yeah, because, okay, neurons are in the heart. We all know that. Like, we don't just, you know, they're not just up here. They're in the heart. But what a lot of people don't know is in the taint, there are almost as many neurons in the taint as there are in the human brain. Holy shit. Well, and it's nice to connect pleasure, sensuality with tears and crying. I think that's an interesting link. You know what I mean? Yeah. You get into, like, another traumatic...

high level dopamine, maybe scary situation and you get aroused and it's kind of the perfect thing, right? Like your home invasion.

you know someone kicks the door down shotgun and then you're like holy i'm fully erect like that's an interesting just you saying that it was exciting i disassociated and got a wreck holy now i could never do that before the retreats dude i got i'm going and also it's nice to have this level of cortisol in your body at all times high level too it keeps you good ready you're ready found me you ready to go there you go fountain of youth and i'll tell you the other thing

When you cry, they've trained these vicious weasels that are attracted to your tears. So weasels, like if you cry at these retreats, a weasel will be clawing at your face and like biting and licking at your tear ducts. So cool. It's fucking cool. This is awesome. Hello, beautiful lady. This is a great match. That's it. Oh.

that's a long stare after that my algorithm was carefully curated i couldn't like anything remotely normal for weeks to get these but does it work like isn't it worth reaching out because i think if if yeah you keep posting videos like that it implies you're getting responses it works it works for me i'm curious to know where he is what he's about busy in europe he looks like he's english maybe

I don't know. I like it. I think we could probably get an answer back for you. So you just hold on to that curiosity. Okay. I'd love to know. This is such a... I've been laughing. Listen, Duncan, you are the absolute perfect guest for this moment. Thank you. I've laughed this hard in a long time, so thank you for being here. Oh, God. I love you so much. I love you, too. I'm sorry you got to go through this. It is not fun. It just... It is... Let me ask you this. How many...

pets should I buy? Pets? Well, I'm depressed. She's bought two pets already. Two hamsters? What should I get into next? You know, I think that I would probably go pregnant guinea pigs. Oh, so you could be there for the birth of the... That's a good idea. Gift that keeps on giving because they give birth to so many and then they will fuck. And you can just end up with a house full of guineas.

So fun. Yeah, it's the sound at night. So there's squeaks at night. And especially if I can get you into scream sleeping, which would be very good for where you're at right now. For healing. I heard that's good. Because the guineas will scream with you. They don't just, they're like, you know, you howl around certain dogs, they start howling. Scream around guinea pigs, they start screaming. That's awesome. I got to tell my surgeon about this, my doctor, about the scream therapy. Female surgeon, by the way. In addition to urine. She's going to a female therapy.

Should I switch? Oh, no, that's fine. Two of them. I have two. We should talk. Two female. And they're not white. I also, you are fantastic as always. Thanks for having me back. I also want to thank the new president and executive producer of YMH, New Christina. Congrats, New Christina.

I'm not dead yet. Yay. Yay. You're the best. So excited to be here every single day with you guys. We're so excited to be every single day with you. And just to even it out, if you've been going through anything rough over the last few months, I'm sorry. My heart's with you, whatever it may be. That's really thoughtful of you. Thank you. Yeah. All right.

We will talk soon and we will drive together soon. Bye. Thanks for coming. Thanks for having me. I love you guys. Thanks for being here too, Christina. Bye, guys. Yeah, thanks, Christina. Yeah.

This bombing's right.