Nair Hair Removal | Your Mom's House Ep. 721
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This week on Your Mom's House. Here's the thing. Can I tell you the only thing that really gets to me about this? I don't like ham sandwiches. In the fifth dimension, the fourth dimension, we just can't perceive it. It's fucking crazy. They're in the oceans. They're in the government. This is what I hear all day. Straight guy is also like, you know what is the fucking saddest thing in my life right now? You're like, what is it? I can't come as much as I used to. Welcome. Welcome to your mom's house. Welcome.

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And couldn't be more excited to be back here in studio. I love it. The show has gone on, as you know. We never miss a week. But those shows were pre-recorded. Yep. We took the kids out, did some family stuff, saw some peeps. We were looking for... We're looking from reading the thing he's saying. We visited some friends in Los Angeles. Oh, okay.

We did work there, did meetings, a couple shows. But it was a good, very necessary time.

time to do that. And now we're back here in beautiful 108 degree Austin. I know. Yeah. I also, I had my Smurf day. You did. June 18th is my Smurf day and I turned 47. You did. And what's really neat is that you were training our children in repeating exactly how old mom is. Yeah. Go ahead and tell the audience what you've been telling them. I would tell them,

Because they know your age. Like, it's fun to tell them wrong ages for other people. Like, they're 100% convinced that Charo's 101 and she's turning 102. And they're always like, when does Grandma turn 102? September 25th. And then my mom FaceTimes and then they're like, are you excited to turn 102? And she's like, yes. It's great. Your sister Jane...

tells them that she's 28. Yeah, she's like, I'm 28. Which she's not. And they're like, okay. Like, they don't know. She's like, don't tell them I'm not. I'm like, what? Yeah. You're not fooling anybody. Well, I mean, she's fooling them. That's true. You're fooling seven-year-olds and five-year-olds. They're just like, oh, cool, she's 28. I'm like, uh-huh. Yeah. So... God. Tell them what you trained the trainer to do. So I trained them to go, mom's 47, and then she'll be 48, and then 49, and then...

And I go, wow, wow, wow. Right? So now they go, mom's 47. And I'm like, yeah. And they're like, unless she's 48, 49, 50, wow, wow, wow. And I go, yeah. Yeah.

So they're always going wow, wow, wow, wow at 50. Yeah. And that mom's going to be 50 first. Wow, wow, wow. Wow, wow, wow. And what's really neat is that you had them make birthday cards for me with you're going to be 50. Wow, wow, wow. Yeah. There's big wows everywhere. Yeah. So funny. Yeah, it's great. It was super fun. It's depressing to think that I'll be 50 soon. And I hate the fact that you're

That you aren't even in your really mid 40s. You're only 44. I'm 44. Which sucks. And the crazy thing is, I'll see you go into this deep, dark depression when you turn 50, and it'll still be light years away from me. Light years. Like, I'll see it, and I'll be like, I don't know what that's like. And then the next year, you'll be like, I'm 51. I'll be like, I'm 48. I don't know what that is.

It'll just be like this whole thing where it's like by the time you're like, I'm out of my depression, I'm turning 50. I'll be like, I guess I'm about to turn 50. Yeah. And then I have to relive what it's like to turn 50. Because you'll see it with me. Sucks. But the good news is, statistically speaking, men die before the women. So I will outlive you.

Statistically. Statistically speaking. But you're saying I will outlive you. I will outlive you. Statistically, you would. Yeah, but I will. I mean, look, you engage in many reckless behaviors I don't engage in. For instance, may I share what you said to me this morning? Sure. We went to the beach. We visited the beach a few times when we were in L.A., yes. And you would go swim in the...

First of all, bacteria infected water, which they came out. Pacific Ocean. LA County came out saying that the water has bacteria in it. And you're like, okay, it's not at this beach. I'm like, as if bacteria knows to stop at certain beaches and not flow through the water. It does. Oh, that's a good beach. It doesn't go there. And you were like, sometimes I would swim and I'd be afraid for my life. I thought I was going to drown three times. Yeah.

And yet you still went. I would go back the next day and I'd have dreams about drowning. It's terrifying. It's terrifying. Yeah. It was, it was, and yet it doesn't deter your actions whatsoever. Well, it did make me go. I probably, I remember going, I probably shouldn't swim in here anymore. And then I was like, stop being a bitch. And I got in there. Cool. Yeah. I mean, you can also maybe look at the tides and be like, Oh, the high tides. It was aggressive. And there was a crazy undercurrent, you know, rip tide. Yeah. Yeah.

And so just like a wave would come down on you and then the current would also be coming back from the previous wave. And I also put together that there weren't a lot of people swimming. Like nobody. Yeah. I was like, I'm the only one swimming here. That's cool. And they tell you swim experts always swim alone, especially in lakes and oceans. They do say that. They go, if you're going to go to the ocean or somewhere treacherous to swim, do it alone. Yeah.

So many times I would see Coast Guard and Sheriff helicopters fly overhead. And I would always be like, I think they're probably checking on me. Like, there's that fucking psycho again. And I was swimming, by the way, not like go out, do a little swim, come back. I would walk down for like 20 minutes and then try to swim all the way back, you know?

you know it's interesting I don't know what you're doing yeah try to not be a fucking pussy I always like that I always admire that but you know we all do behaviors that don't make sense you know yeah man it was so scary a few times so scary

You saw your life flash before you. Yeah. And can I, when, one morning I was walking out there and I did not see you in the ocean. And I did have a moment of panic where I was like, Oh, he's dead. He's definitely drowned. And then I started to walk to kind of look for your body. And then I was like, yeah, but he'll float.

Like if it's his body, he'll float. Yeah. And then like, I'm not going to jump in this water to save him because it's so cold. And you'll die too. Sure. And then you did see me. Yeah. And then I, and then the coolest thing was I got out and you're like, Oh, you know, it's crazy way back there. I thought you were dead anyway. Um, you want to get lunch? And I was like, all right. Yeah.

Well, I wouldn't let it ruin my day. I still want to eat lunch. You didn't. Like if you died, I'd still go. There's so much good food in LA I forgot about. I can't miss lunchtime. It's my favorite meal. Yeah, yeah, that's true. That's true. All right, well, why don't we do the opener? Oh, yeah. Ready to start this. Mm-hmm.

So cool. In honor of the glasses you're wearing. Are you a Jewish girl looking for a sweet, kind, and amazing boyfriend who will care about you? Well, I am your man. My name is Jeremy Hassan. I am 21 years old. I'm Jewish. I'm from Maryland. I'm a baseball-loving...

amazing guy who will always hype you up and be there for you. Would you like to be my first girlfriend? Then fill out the Google form application in my bio. Shut up. Oh, Nadav. It's like his twin brother. Welcome to your mom's house.

With Tom Segura and Christina Pagitsky. Welcome to your mom's house. Eat your meat.

Tom is drowning in the ocean. Tom is drowning. It's not a joke. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. Wow. wow. wow. wow. wow. wow. wow. wow. wow. wow. wow. wow. wow. wow. wow. wow. wow. wow. wow. wow. wow. wow. wow. wow. wow. wow. wow. wow. wow. wow. wow. wow. wow. wow. wow. wow. wow. wow. wow. wow. wow. wow. wow. wow. wow. wow. wow. wow. wow. wow. wow. wow. wow. wow. wow. wow. wow. wow. wow. wow. wow. wow. wow. wow

I love this guy. Very cool video you posted from a few years ago, Nadav. Fun to see it. Did it work? Yeah.

Did you get your girlfriend? Nope, the right one never applied. The application part is adorable. Yeah, that's the best part. I mean, look, he's offering a lot, though. He's like, I will be your hype man. I'll support you. The only thing that is a deterrent for me of being somebody's first girlfriend is the amount that he's going to jizz inside of me will be so monumental. He's never had a girlfriend. It's going to, by the way, I think you can... It's so much to come. Here's the thing. You can...

It's going to take a while to get there. It's not like that. You don't think he's going to be out the gate? Not a chance. Seriously? He's a sweetheart. He's timid. Yeah, of course. He could be dating you for a few months before that happens. Oh, okay. Well, I might. I think if I have... Did you pick up the locks yet?

Yeah, he's a sweetheart. I have to go to synagogue on Saturday. Let's just see how it starts. Shabbat with my mom. Start at the top here. Your name. Where are you from? Nadav Iskowitz. By the way, let's get through this first. What is your Instagram? That's good. What is your TikTok? Are you Jewish? Why do you want to be my girlfriend? Are you willing to date me even though I'm a short king? Oh, I love that.

This is a very... Maybe this is just a very modern approach, but I do feel like it's not the right way to go. I mean...

I think this guy is a real sweet guy, but this is like lists and like applications. It's just not, I don't think it's a good way. You know, Tom, I think you're right. But since you're so much younger than me, you don't really see the wisdom that I have. I think in today's world, in the swipe right, swipe left world, he's really trying to like hone in and narrow down his, I mean, kids don't court the way we do. I would love to see if this worked out. It's smart.

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Because the type of girl that's going to respond to this. Yeah. No, no. Here's the thing. She's got to be in Maryland. Jewish. That's hard already, right? And like kind of into like a real...

sweet guy. Yeah. Right? Like, this is what makes her lips quiver, you know? And get all moist and slide off a chair. Stop it. Is this? I'm gonna puke. So, it's a really specific target. Well, I like good guys. You would never fuck this guy.

I wouldn't know. No, you wouldn't. You'd be like, you should meet my friend. That's true. I'd pawn him off on like... Well, first of all, you're not a J-Brod, even though you're wearing... Oh, yeah, I'm not a J. You're wearing J-Brod glasses. I am, but can I say something? He's not upset. Nadav isn't upset by these J-Brods. Yeah. No, I'm upset by the video, not so much your glasses. What bothers you? Everything. Everything about it.

He's a nice kid, though. You agree with that. Yeah, he seems super nice into baseball. I mean, what's not to like? What do you not like? I like him. You shouldn't beg. I don't like these. Like, please be my girlfriend. Just the, you know, just the, this'll work. Here's the thing. You don't want to approach this as, please be my girlfriend. Because it just, even if you're not saying it, it gives off...

like a sense of desperation. You want to be like, I'm not, I'm available. I'm taking applications for my girlfriend. That's right. That's how they should redo the video. That's how you fix this. I'm out. I'm single. I'm ready to mingle. Let's see who's out there. These are, I'm Jewish. I like baseball. You know, if you go like, I promise I'll be there for you. It's like, it's too desperate. It's too desperate. And what happens? Everything gets all dried up down there. Yeah.

That's so true. You want to keep it? Oh, right. I get it. Stop. Jesus fuck. Yeah, that's right. No, I get it. But I do like, I like him. I think he's sweet. You're right. The approach needs to be a little more. Well, speaking of, I'm Jewish. Nadav, we haven't seen you in a while. And last time we saw you, you were into the idea of getting yourself into

in better physical shape and attempting to run the New York City Marathon. Yes! What have you done since I've seen you last? So major. What's going on? So it's been quite a journey. It's been, I want to say, close to a month and some change since, like, the gauntlet was thrown. Mm-hmm. Um...

Been working out every single day. I was doing two-a-days with Sean for, like, I want to say about three or four weeks. Wow. And what I've noticed, which was super interesting, is that the more health people you get involved with,

the more they disagree with each other. Yeah, that's true. It does happen. And that kind of froze me up for like a week. I'm just like, oh, this person's an idiot. Don't fucking, their plan is wrong. Do my plan. Listen to me. Exactly. So now I'm like listening to one person in particular, the nutritionist that Ryan hooked me up with or directed me to. What's your eating like?

I'm cooking every single meal. And if I can't eat, then it's like, oh, okay, well, I'm just getting something that's just high in protein and no carbs and stuff like that. What are you eating? Chicken tits? Chicken tits? Oh, yeah. Chicken tits. Chicken tits, some fish, shrimp.

How has your physical fitness improved in these weeks? Yeah. So when I first started, I think I said, oh, I'm close to my heaviest. I'm 260. I was way fatter than that. How much were you? I was like, when I got weighed on my doctor, I was 290. Oh, fuck. I didn't even think my body was capable of getting up to that number. I was like, yeah, there's no way it's that. 290? Wow. Wow, wow, wow.

Wow, wow, wow, indeed. And how much are you down? Are you down? Yeah, I'm down to 273 now. That's almost 20 pounds. Wow, Nadav. Well, first of all, I mean, that is...

You're on the right path. You look so much better already. Your face looks less puffy. You're not eating shit late at night. You're not doing the same. You look great. I'm learning inflammation is like a whole thing. It's like it prevents you from doing things. It's not just like, oh, you look poofy. It's

It's a lot of things. You realize that means that you – that's so funny because I've been talking about it. You were in your own head off by 30 pounds from what you thought you were. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. When I went to my doctor the initial time, I was just like, hey, that scales. It's wrong. It's like it's because I have my shoes on, right? Yeah. She's like, are you wearing 30-pound shoes? I'm like, no. Fuck, man. Okay. And how about are you – so it's obviously a really big thing you're undertaking. Yeah.

So you started, I'm sure, going by walks and stuff, right? Right. So I was talking to Mark Bell, and he was giving me a routine before I started going heavy training with Sean. And so he was like, oh, okay, well, start with going on 30-minute, 60-minute walks. Start with that, and then throw in 30 seconds of light jogging in between. And this was like week one.

And so how was the fear? Were you, cause I know you were so afraid of hurting yourself. How was that? How was the two days? I mean, look, I've already thrown out my back twice in this process, but it's like, you just get a quick bow to the spine and you're good to go. Like within a day or two. Yeah. Look at that. Yeah. It's well, like I've also seen some things and something really resonated with me. It's would you rather be in pain doing nothing or be in pain doing something? And the second, I prefer the second one. That's a good one. Um, uh,

And so the first week, Mark was like, oh, yeah, you should just do some light jogging, just introduce it. Immediately, both my calves cramped up and couldn't walk for two or three days. Yeah. So then it's like, OK, let's first take off a bunch of weight before we introduce fast walking. So now I'm just doing walks, fast-paced walks. And are you doing it for 60 minutes? Or how long do you do it for? Yeah, I'm going for 45-minute walks an hour.

around my neighborhood sometimes treadmill if it's too hot but I mean honestly once you get going in this 100 degree weather like it all feels the same you're going so fast the breeze hitting your face just feels nice yeah

Do you walk at a fast pace? Yeah, I have to because right now I've noticed that my biggest bottleneck is my calves. What'll happen is they'll start first burning a little bit and then they'll just start cramping to the point where my body will just start... Are you hydrating like a motherfucker too? Yeah. I'm on so many fucking supplements. I'm on so many PEDs. What's a PED? Performance Enhancing Drug. Fuck yeah, dude. What's up? Hi, Tina Dove is here.

Oh, shit. Was your T level super low? Yeah. Really? Yeah. Oh, wow. Because doesn't weight gain contribute to low T? Well, yeah. The other thing that's real crazy that is like scientifically proven is that men who kind of live a sedentary lifestyle in their 30s

will more rapidly have a decrease in their testosterone. And men who pay attention, like stay physically fit, lift weights, you know, take care of themselves, they don't have that decline. So you can actually fend off that from happening just by being like healthy, you know, take care of yourself. I was definitely in the former category, you know, by not being active and

And then you see it. You were always a high tea king to me. Thanks. You always gave it to me. I mean, I always came a lot, but it wasn't because. You came a lot. Yeah. But yeah, but it's fun. It's like now it's just like if anyone like kind of crosses me now, I just kind of like fucking check them. Wow. Like I didn't expect that. That's the tea coming in. I love that. The tea's starting to come in. Royd Rage the Dove. Can I ask what your dosage is? Like.

I think I'm taking 25 units a week right now. Okay. Once a week? Mm-hmm. Okay. Wow. And then that'll – no, no, no. Sorry. I'm taking 25 units twice a week. Oh, that's – yeah. 25 units twice a week and then we're adjusting that after a month. Dang.

And then on the Manjaro too, which is also very interesting to see how that works. What's that? Manjaro is kind of like, it's like Ozempic.

Where it's just you take that and you're like, food, ew, gross. I don't like that. Fuck yeah, dude. So yeah, so it was like I just came back from Mexico celebrating with an anniversary. And I was buying so much expensive food that I had like two bites. Yes. Fuck, I really need to stuff this. Like Fat Nadav was like, bro, we fucked.

Fat and Junidav was like, there's so much money on the table. We have to fucking take it. And then I was just like, I literally cannot. And like, I actually lost weight on vacation, which is great. Yes. Well, stay focused, man. Stay focused. You are getting an enormous Irish tattoo if you don't complete the marathon. Don't forget that. So I did kind of forget. Yeah, yeah, yeah. What are we getting him to say? Oh, Callahan.

I think Irish pride with a large Irish flag. I'll get the flag. Irish pride is a prison tattoo, man. It is? Anything with pride at the end of it. Yeah, that means you're looking for fights. Okay, well then a large Irish flag and O'Callaghan. Go on my first tattoo. Can't wait. Big one, though. Big. Old English. Not like, oh, look here. No, a chest. A chest piece or a bag piece. One of the two.

If you don't finish. Here's the thing. If he doesn't finish. You get to choose. If it's on the chest, you know, it could be a moderate size. If it's on the back, it's the full back. I just have an Irish flag on my full back. Dude, I hope your girlfriend is into that look. Yeah, that likes Irish guys. Wait, hold on. But is it if he doesn't finish the marathon or if he doesn't finish it within the time? No, he doesn't finish. Period. Just gives up. Yeah.

So in light of this discussion, I got this email in from a listener. Hi, Jeans. While I was sitting at my desk last Wednesday, my boss became concerned about my mental well-being because I was howling with laughter at the thought of Nadav running the New York City Marathon. However, as someone who has run several marathons before and is also signed up for the New York City Marathon this November, I could not be more excited about this challenge.

You have already set up the most important part of training for a marathon, a support and accountability network. Nothing motivates you more than the desire to achieve your goals and the thought of the merciless heckling in possible failure. There are a few things that you should know about the course ahead of time. The New York City Marathon has some of the best crowds in the world with an estimated 2 million spectators throughout the course. Go, Natalia!

They're not all going to be like that. On First Avenue and Central Park, with all the cheering, you will feel like an Olympic athlete. Oy vey go. We got to think of our signs and stuff because we're all going to this. All of the mommies are going to be there. You will not find this festive atmosphere in a few spots. I specifically remember the Hasidic neighborhoods of Brooklyn being silent.

Then again, perhaps they weren't excited to see my gangly ass, but could be overjoyed to see Nadav. So that's interesting. He's saying we should set up in the Hasidic neighborhoods in Brooklyn. Well, that's probably a good idea. Also, Nadav will be clear to spot because he'll be wearing a Star of David shirt and shorts. Oh, this is news. You're representing. Yeah, in a yarmulke, people will know, like, that's our guy. In the yarmulke. Cool. Very cool.

The biggest piece of advice to Nadav is you're going to have to get out on those long training runs. These runs won't be about hitting a specific time, but rather completion and building the mental wherewithal to continue when experiencing that kind of pain. You can do this. Good luck coming up in November, Tom. And the big thing I think is that, you know, we are...

We are where we are right now. There's time. It's about focusing on, like you said, dropping weight so that your body can withstand the stuff.

And just know that that's coming up. But yeah, it's a mental. I think everybody you talk to, I talked to Cam Haynes about this once, about how the fuck do you run? This guy, he'll run a marathon during a lunch break. What? Yeah, Cam Haynes runs, he'll run 25 miles during lunch. And he does ultra marathons. He does 50, 100 mile runs, right? Wow. But I don't conceive it. And he said the hardest part is mile one.

Mile one is the hardest part for ultra runners. You know, that's the part where they're like, fuck, like it sucks. They think it sucks. And then it's all upstairs. I mean, you obviously have to have your body in a certain level of condition to do this kind of stuff, but it is all up in your head, you know? Yeah, because I assume it becomes meditative, right? Like you're, it's you against your body. The most I ever got into running was when I was 14 and I would run 10 miles, which is less than half.

of a marathon. And it was, I mean, what I can remember from that era was still telling yourself when that part of your head goes, all right, I think you're tired. I think slow down. Or I think this doesn't feel good. Keep going. And you do get into this groove of it. Go, go, go. You keep going. And also, don't marathon runners piss themselves?

Because there's a point where you lose body function control. I've heard that towards the end of it, you just piss yourself. And they eat those goo things, those goo power bars. I don't know if they piss themselves because they're so dehydrated. No, no. I just mean you lose control of your body function because your body starts to kind of...

uh, shut down. No, I'm not familiar. I know, you know, it's interesting. You say that. Yeah. I saw a thing that they shit themselves. Shitting. Shitting is more common. I think. Yeah. Is that right? Yeah. Well, you got to ship a shitting and an organ failure I think is more common than pissing themselves. I'm cool with Oregon failure. Yeah. I do not want to shoot myself in the middle of that marathon. Yeah. That would not be good. Well, maybe if you could run, aren't there running diapers, you know, for sure. Yeah. Um,

But you got to shit the... What time does the race begin? Is it like 6 a.m.? Yeah, yeah, yeah. You better start maybe practice running so early. I mean, I'm already naturally waking up at like 7 now to get a workout in before work and stuff. Speaking of all this stuff, I got to tell you, I did a deep dive on Hitler the last... This guy, I got to tell you something. He was really something.

I have been watching so much Hitler stuff. Well, it's neat for me because I fall asleep while you're doing it. And it's shifted from murder to Hitler, which I prefer World War II, hands down. Because my father, I feel like it's a rite of passage for men.

where you're not a real dad until A, you get dad mouth, where your breath smells like shit for no reason. And my son, my youngest is like, your breath smells terrible. So I know it's happening. He'll tell me that in the morning. I'm like, good morning. He's like, go wash your mouth. Yeah. Okay. And B, all dads love Hitler. I don't know what this is. I would rephrase that. Um,

Real dads love Hitler. I'd say real dads love history is the way to do it. But my dad never read books, but I guarantee the only books he would read are about H. Yeah. Big H. Big H dog. Big Hitler, yeah. Yeah. He was, I'm telling you, and I watched The Little Rascals, the show about his whole inner circle. Isn't that what they call it? The Little Rascals? The Little Rascals!

No, of course not. Oh, that would be so funny. They should. Goebbels, Himmler, Eichmann. Yeah, you always call me that. Yeah. So all those guys. Who was the biggest rascal in his circle? Well, it's kind of hard. There was a bunch of them. Yeah. Knuckleheads. Yeah, a bunch of knuckleheads. I mean, there's, you know...

Who's your fave? Well, the most sadistic, the sadistic of the, of like all the little rascals I think would probably be Himmler. Yeah. Cause he was running the SS. Sure. And like giving orders to do mean stuff. And not just doing it, but like really enjoying it.

Like he would enjoy the death camp stuff. All of it. I mean, I think he, he, he loved the, um, the philosophy, uh, of the third Reich, like, and, and like racial purity bit. Loved it. Loved it. And he, and he loved being in charge of the SS and like, you know, murdering. And yeah, it's interesting because from what I overheard while falling asleep is that these, these, I don't want to go out. I don't want to be out of line, but I'll, I'll say this. Not a great guy. Not a good one. Not a good bed egg.

Yeah. Is that these these guys in his circle, the rascals, they were all about it was more of a power jockey than true than wanting to do evil. But it sounds like this Himmler character was also about not only the power jockey, but the fun in doing bad things. He loved it. He loved it. Yeah. I mean, they're all pretty bad dudes. I think here's the thing.

It was so outlandish to think that this party would get to power when they first attempted to, that it wasn't even like, it wasn't even in the realm of possibilities. Yeah.

And the fact that they went through trying a coup to overthrow... I remember I heard that. And then failing at that and going to... It was like the party was basically on the cusp of falling apart. Yeah. And so to think that they... I think when they actually got to power...

It was all like, it was so addictive, so crazy that like, oh, now we're in power. And then they went full force. Full throttle. Full throttle. But that's what they say. You know, Tom, success is when hard work meets opportunity. And those Nazis, they stuck in it. They did. It took 15 years to get into power. They did. That wasn't, I mean, Hitler was a young guy when he started.

And then he was wow, wow, wow, what, 47? Yeah. When he was doing his killing. He was, yeah. You got to stick with it. It's a mental game. If there's anything you can take from the Hitler story, it's stick to your guns. Yeah. Yeah. Don't give up. Don't give up on your dreams. Yeah, don't give up. Don't give up on your dreams. Yeah. That's so cool. That is so cool. And they did have a fashion aesthetic that was pretty interesting. You know, I wasn't going to bring that up, but...

Well, I mean, look, they had a look. They had a narrative. They had the story. It is crazy that you think that that term marketing stormtroopers, you know, is like the Star Wars. But then you think of like the SS and they are like, oh, here's the thing. You know, what's crazy? We're in. We have it in our head because we know about them. But I think if you didn't know about them and you just saw like if you had no idea.

and you just saw that, I think you know that it's evil. Yeah. You know what I mean? You sense the darkness of the mechanism. Yeah, dude. The way, like, everything from the swastikas to, like, how they march. I don't think you'd be like, that's probably the good guys when you see the images. You're right. You're absolutely right. I think you just know. It's terrifying. It's terrifying. Well, that's the point, right? To scare you into voting for Hitler. There's H-Dog with his homeboy Himmler right there. There he is. There we are. Yeah. Looking good. Wow. What a neat thing to delve into. So,

You got into it. Yeah, deep dive. Well, I would say I just started watching... All the docs. All the docs on World War II. Yeah. Not just on this knucklehead. I did on all the World War II stuff. Sure, strategy, war strategies, which is a big dad theme as well. I watched a couple Pearl Harbor docs. Yeah, dads love war strategy, like how do we defeat the enemy. I'll tell you something about fucking those guys. Which ones? You know who. Who, which ones? The guys who started Pearl Harbor, the fucking...

Samsung Sony folks. Okay. Fucking balls on these guys. I know. Big balls. Big balls. Yeah. Big balls. We... Big balls. Yeah. Because it is horrific. Like, I got to see Oppenheimer. I got to see Oppenheimer. I really want to see it. I heard it's fucking incredible. You know, Dad's a little Oppenheimer. Dad's love fucking Oppenheimer. It is so horrific when you see the details of...

And the long lasting effects. Of the atomic bomb. Yes. Well, of course. And I know what you're referring to. But then you watch Pearl Harbor and you're like, yeah. They deserve what they got. They had it coming. You asked for it. And guess what? They tried to antagonize us. You asked for it. And here it is. Well, interesting you bring up the atomic bomb. Because I, too, have gone down a motherfucking hole. Yeah. It started on TikTok where I get all my information from. I am...

This was your Hitler summer? Oh, my God. Hold on. This is your summer of the Fuhrer? Yeah, I know. You are like... This is your summer of the Fuhrer. This is my summer of the aliens. They're fucking real. And if you guys aren't keeping up on David Grush and the congressional hearings, you're out of your fucking mind. They're real. Disclosure is here. I hear this. I don't know what's happening. I don't know why now. Listen, I hear about this. Man, I am in the fifth dimension. Every day. I'm working on...

at all hours. I want to communicate with the aliens. If you can get me in communication with these aliens, I'm here for it. She's got the audio books, the podcasts, every fucking TikTok video about it, the news streams. I'm obsessed. I can't stop. I can't stop. There was one day I made myself depressed. I will say this in your defense. I'm ill. I'm mentally ill with this stuff. In your defense. Go ahead. The fact that there are congressional hearings...

And no, hold on. There used to be, this used to be a thing in a movie. Like in a movie would start and it'd be like, Congress would be like, hold on, you know, someone dropped the gavel and then they'd be like, well, sir, if the aliens and you'd be like, oh, this is like, okay, that's a fun fantasy premise to a movie that, that in Congress, they're talking to somebody about aliens, you know, and then you escape into this fantasy movie. This is the story of this movie. Yes.

The fact that it's actually happening and they're like, we have crafts. There are, you know, there are, we have the bodies. And this is like really happening. And then they're like, okay, well, well, that's interesting. And then they're like, you know, have you been to a sandals resort? Like right after the commercial, nobody gives a shit. AOC is asking questions about aliens. You're like, this is fucking nuts. It is nuts. And look, I got into, I was never a UFO person.

Until I stumble on TikTok on David Grush, this guy that was head of ATIP. They always have these stupid acronyms and the SCIF. Yeah. And he's saying he's a whistleblower. And he's like, look, we have not only alien crafts. Yeah. We have their bodies. And there's these deep state operations working now. They're utilizing alien technology. Memorable moments. Yeah.

We're reverse engineering stuff in the deep state. Listen, Duncan and I have been back and forth. I called Duncan right after the congressional hearing and he goes, yeah, man, I'm live streaming it right now. And he and I got into it. I mean,

I'm on the, I'm ready. I'm ready for the aliens. So here's some of them for people that haven't followed it. It's too late. The government is absolutely in possession of UAPs. They call it UAPs, not UFOs now. Like it changes. Because UFO. Unidentified aerial phenomenon. Yeah. So UFO has the kind of. Negative connotation. Negative connotation. Of being a crazy person. So they have to rebrand it, you know?

So David Grush, the former U.S. intelligence officer, told the panel that he is absolutely certain the federal government is in possession of UAPs. And when asked, like, does that mean there is money in the budget that is set to go to a program, but it doesn't and it goes to something else? And he said, yes, I have specific knowledge of that, meaning we have –

A program in the government to deal with unidentified, what is it? Aerial phenomenon. That the government is aware of. Yeah. Scroll down. Skunk works. I've read about it. This was obviously the one that I think would be the most exciting for someone. When he was asked, did we get the pilots? He said, yes. And then they go, is it?

Are they human? He said, no, they're non-human biologics. God damn it, Tom. I've watched this a million times. Well, we're reading it to an audience. Non-human biologics. That's the whole point. But now here's the deal, man.

It says, Grush said he prefers to use the term non-human rather than alien or extraterrestrial. And I believe they asked him, why do you use that term? And he goes, well, because there's things we don't understand. Meaning, so a lot of people, the comments were like, oh, he could be a squirrel piloting the thing. Well, then he would have fucking said, we found a chimp or a squirrel. Non-human biologists. So he's also inferring, by the way,

These non-human entities are already here because he said that they're interdimensional. That means they're fucking here already in the fifth dimension, the fourth dimension. We just can't perceive it. It's fucking crazy. They're in the oceans. They're in the government. This is what I hear all day. I've been hearing this all day. I am fucking... For weeks. Please, David Gresh, if you come on your mom's house, you can disclose. We'll put you in a skiff. You can tell us all the classified details. Okay.

What if the non-human biologic literally, no, gets into, is shown in Congress and the first thing it says is like... I'm Jewish. Right? Isn't that crazy? I'm looking for a girl. Wouldn't that be crazy?

I'm looking for a girlfriend. Okay. Officials must establish a safe and transparent reporting process. Because there is no process right now. People are told to shut up, basically, when the pilots do. Encounter these? Yes. And there's no way to report it. And people are afraid to because you're called crazy. Not only that, commercial airline pilots are saying, oh, yeah, we see UFOs constantly. Meaning when you're on your United flight or American Airlines or whatever. They just look at each other in the cockpit. Yeah.

And by the way, because they're not on our official radar or whatever being discussed. We're about to touch down in Chicago. Everybody had a good flight. Make sure you see the fucking alien craft just flew over and just will be gone on the ground shortly. Thanks very much. But it's also a hazard because you could be hit by one of these things because they're not in the dialogue. The description of one of those, of how it flew.

Anti-gravity. Tom, we already know about this. Bob Lazar disclosed this. He was on the JRE back in 2017 or 2018. It's called anti-gravity utilizing also the element 115. Okay. It is now on the periodic table of elements. Which gets to you the most that there's a stigma associated with sightings and it silences those possible witnesses. Yeah.

Yeah. But why now? The big question in the UFO community is why disclosure now? Why is the government – Well, a lot of people like to go – because you just see it immediately. It's like this is to distract us from this other thing. Of course they're conveniently doing this now because everything is so bad in the world. Yeah.

Yeah, but they don't. There's other way. I don't know. This is a big card. The UFO card's a big card and no one cares. That's the best part. Is that on TikTok? Everybody is like the government told us there's aliens and nobody gives a shit. Yeah, that kind of that part is kind of true. Nobody cares. Nobody really cares. Nobody cares. But it's kind of interesting that nobody really cares. It's almost the most interesting part is like, how come nobody really cares? Why does nobody care?

That's what's fascinating. I know. We're more upset about the Bud Light commercial than we are aliens exist and might be among us right now living in another dimension. I think the reason is that we actually got to the point where they go, okay, this might be real. There might be aliens. And people are like, and what am I supposed to do about that? Right. How does this affect my life in any... My mortgage payment is still due. That's what they're saying. Are aliens going to pay my bills? Yeah. People are like...

That's what they're saying on TikTok. It's like, yeah, but I can't... Eggs are fucking $8 a carton. Yeah, dude. I don't care. So nothing changes. I get it. Nothing changes. I get it when your reality is tough. But anyway...

So there are, I believe there are some crafts that we have reverse engineered the technology on. Back in Roswell, that first crash, you may know that the CIA and the other, whatever branches of government were formed like three months after that Roswell crash. The Air Force was designated right after that. Everything happened like three months after Roswell. Anyway, we have reverse engineered some of these crafts. So some of these are probably our thing, but not all of them. Supersonic speeds, Mach 2, human beings fall apart.

Here's the thing. If to that speed to the visiting species to Earth, I'd just like to say, welcome. Howdy. Our new alien overlords. We welcome you. I recommend the brisket. If you're going to come to Austin. Here's what I got thinking about, Tom. What's that? Is that these aliens are probably already in our systems, in our government, and specifically may already be famous country singers.

Oh, stop. Have you thought about that? Hold on. It'll explain why the awkwardness. Save Ukraine. What's that? It's an alien trying to be human. It does feel like that. He's mimicking what it is to be a person because they don't. He doesn't know. Good morning. Garth Brooks here. You know what today is? It's the seventh anniversary of Alphys and Turai. So what do you say tonight on Inside Studio G?

Let's do a little Garth request thing, okay? I'll bring my guitar. You bring the songs. Let's have some fun. Beep, blop, beep, bop. Yeah. So if you don't know this, pretty much everybody's blocked now. Literally, we're all blocked. I think that, by the way, he must have hired somebody new. You know what I mean? A youngster? Somebody came in and they were like, you just got to block these folks. He's like, oh. And then he was like, what is it, like two dozen people? And he was like, no, no.

By the way, the entire YMA Studios has zero access to the G account. And here's what I can say. This is not the time to back down. We need you to step up where we can't. Support our cause. You're going to be weak or you're going to be strong. Your brothers are sitting here just waiting for the fucking hell of an evac. We don't have food. We don't have water. Are you going to leave us here or are you going to step up?

Just something to think about. Are you motivating your soldiers like your buddy H did? Give us a speech. Give us a motivational speech. The end is here. We're pushing forward. You got just like that. You've been influenced. You know what's funny? You're motivating people that way. I'm talking about H on stage now. I have an H bit now. Yeah. That's what happens when you do a deep dive into history, man.

Yeah, I go all the way in with H now. We've changed. The summer's changed us, Tom. Who are we? Liquid death. It's delicious. I'm losing my mind. But I agree, guys. Now's the time. All hands on deck. This is a really crucial moment. Yeah, it really is. He looks great, by the way. She looks really good. I mean, for an alien hybrid humanoid species who's been here. Yeah.

By the way, I saw that he funded some police department building in Nashville. And I was like, isn't that the savviest move somebody can do? Is start helping the cops out. You're like, hey, oh, y'all need help? I'll help you look. Someone's gone missing. I want to join the search party. Right. It's like what my dad used to do in the 80s. I want to help catch the bad guys. The bad guys.

Well, that makes sense. You know what? There's a theory out there in the UFO community that we have a treaty with the aliens where they're allowed to take a certain amount of humans and do experiments on them. Yep. I'm just saying. It's kind of a weird coincidence. I don't want to get us into any trouble. Let's change the topic. This is something fun that I wanted to show you. In the U.S., where he was a local at a sauna in Detroit. It was in a black area, so most of the men were African-Americans.

And they used to say, pass over the white boy. And they used to actually physically, I was 19 then, and they physically used to pass me over to the middle of the wall. And some of these black men were fat and they got fabulous tongues. I loved it. I loved it. You know, I used to come and come and come. I wasn't expecting that.

Four or five times in a couple of hours was not unusual. Now, of course, I am 70 next year. And one of my great sadnesses is I can't do anything like that. Oh, that's a big sadness. That's the greatest regret in his life is that he can't come that much. I can't come four and five times in a day now. A bunch of black guys. It's one of the saddest things and one of the greatest...

Sorrows of my life. That's it. I'm 70 and I can't come as much as I used to. I mean, I go to the baths and I have to be satisfied with two. Because if I try for number three, I'll kill myself. I mean, my heart's beating. You know, I know that if I die, it'll probably be there with all those people. I got to tell you. The bath attendant will be in awful trouble, wouldn't he?

I wish I were a gay man. I got to say, I mean, doesn't this kind of show you, I mean, this one is, this is obviously gay, but doesn't this really highlight the difference between men and women? Because this is not that different from a straight man. No. I mean, it really isn't. Not at all. A straight guy is also like, you know what is the fucking saddest thing in my life right now? You're like, what is it? He's like, I can't come as much as I used to.

And that's coming so important to men. Why do you think that? Why? Because you physically have to get this poison out of your body. Yeah. It's a physical necessity to get it out of you. So it's always like a delivery mechanism and the touches feel nice on your peener. But don't you like, cause women enjoy touches and sex. We don't need, I don't. Yeah. It's not a biological necessity. I feel like women can just shut that thing off. Oh yeah. Yeah.

And like if they're not feeling it from the world or whoever they're interacting with, it's like it's not a big thing for them to be like, oh, yeah, I haven't.

Like a single woman, I haven't slept with somebody in a long time and not bothered by it. But also too, don't forget that women's bodies are cyclical. So if I'm ovulating, which, you know, then I'm really fired up. I'm ready to F. Like I would want to be handed around to a group of black guys too. You know what I mean? Sure. But then when your body's shutting you down for period time, you're like, don't touch me. Don't look at me. I don't want to fucking touch it. I'm talking about shutting it down for long periods. I know, I know. Not just when you're cyclically ovulating. Challenged, yeah. No, no, no. I'm just saying like,

Women can go like, I'm just not. Some broads are. Yeah, I can't. Some broads are low T, right? Like, I don't know, low E, low P, low progesterone, low estrogen. Yeah. Yeah, they're just maybe hormonally. But dudes basically, well, there are dudes who are not very sexually driven. Those are low T kings. Yes. This guy's about to turn 70. He's juiced up. And he's just like. But how great would it be? The saddest thing in my whole life.

Can't come like I used to, you know. But that's the beauty of being a gay man. They don't have the burdens. He has to be satisfied with two nuts. And that's a bummer to him. I know. I know. What a life. Two comes is all I get these days. What a life. And he can just go to a bathhouse and there's dude just waiting to JSD. It's crazy. He used to get passed around. I know. What a great day for somebody like that. What a great life.

Could you imagine? Yeah. I can't imagine it as a woman, like the biological thing of I could get pregnant or whatever. Like that doesn't exist for you guys. Yeah. Must be nice. God. That's so gay. They just have it better. They really do. Yeah. They're so superior. Fucking lucky. But lesbians. Come on.

The interesting part is that when women get together, I hear that they stop having sex. Lesbian bed death is what they call it. Really? When two broads get together, they're like, we're just friends now. It shuts down. I'm not saying for all, because obviously there's exceptions. I bet that probably happens, though, in gay couples as they age, though, too. Well, the gay couples that I'm...

friends with yeah opposite day actually because they don't have children or the responsibilities that we do they travel a lot and then they have a group of men who they regularly fuck outside of their own pairing so they'll be like yeah what do you feel like fucking rick and tim today yeah okay we'll invite them over let's fuck tonight like it's just great i know it's fucking amazing man thank you sir yeah so great so cool

Anyway, it's the coolest. I also along these lines of discussion, I have a cap report that I like to share with. Oh, please go forward. I was talking to my friend Sean and Jimmy. So this actually originated in the dialogue with them. We were talking about gay men and specifically bisexual men. Now we were saying how, look, I know they say they exist, right?

But in my experience with bisexual men, it doesn't last very long. It's usually you're bisexual for a short window on your way to gay town. And you park it at gay town and you don't go back to bisexual land. So I'm going to put it out there. I think bisexual men...

You heard it here first. Bisexual men are cap. Wow. What do you think, Denny? Yeah, this has been reported to me by many of my reporters around the world. And I do agree. I do agree. And I think the reason for it is that it starts that way. I think you start by, you're like, you know, maybe a little curious. Maybe let me see what it feels like. Can I get over my discomfort with it?

And then I imagine what happens. I don't have any experience fucking a dude, but I imagine what happens is that it turns out we're better than women at that too. So when you fuck... We're already better than women at basically everything. So I bet when you fuck a guy as a guy, you're like, oh, fuck. This is how it can be? Yeah, of course. Yeah, and by the way, he's not wrong.

I'm sure. I'm sure. Yeah, yeah. No, I'm saying like men are better at... Look, are you saying... Hold on. Are you saying gender equality is cap? Is that another one? Gender equality is cap? Holy shit. I mean, what is gender? You know? What is a woman? What is a man? I don't know. No one knows anymore. Hey, how are you? What's your name? What's your pronoun? But I think you're right, Annie. This theory of like... Imagine... But the same could go for being with another woman. Oh my gosh. Imagine a woman that knows what it's like to have a V...

Like, we should all be gay then. Yeah. We should all be gay. So I, here's the thing that, um, that I'm interested to hear. We're going to hear from people on this.

We're going to hear from people on this. First of all, here's the categories of the people you'll hear from. You're going to hear from guys who go, yep, I said I was bi. It turns out I'm gay. You're going to hear from women who go, I dated a guy who was openly bi. Turns out he's gay. What's more interesting, though, is because there are going to be people who go like, I get what you're saying and those people exist. But by the way, I am gay.

actually buy. Yeah, here's what I want. And they're going to explain, because I think what happens is straight guys who just like women, it is, the reason you even hear this kind of like, it's incomprehensible to think that you could be sexually attracted to a man. Yeah, you don't even. So it doesn't register. So, and we've all met or heard from or know people who are doing what I said where they claim

to be. Right. And they're like, actually, it was, it was the gateway drug. It was, it was like, I smoked a little weed and guess what? Heroin is the shit. So. I like dick and balls. Yeah. But,

But I would actually love to hear, because I know we're going to hear from people who go, you guys, that might be true, but I am actually... It's an anomaly. I'd be very curious. I know somebody. I should reach out to this person. Who's a lifelong... Here's what I want to hear from. I'm going to reach out. Here's the guy I want to hear from. Yep. He's this guy's age. He's 70 years old. He's a New York City old school gay. And he's like, you know what? I go back and forth. I have relationships. I want to hear about people who have relationships with men.

And then women, men that have relationships with men and then women, they go back and forth. That is a genuinely bisexual person in my. I would agree. Yeah. Not just like, hey, I'm with a woman. And then every now and then I dip out and maybe I don't know, is that bisexual? That sounds bisexual, too. But then is that just a gay who's not being fully gay? I think they want to stay married to have all the perks of being a straight person.

Yeah, I think you're spot on on that. You know, they want to it's more for the presentation, I think. Correct. And also, might I add that for a man to cross over into gay town is such a stigma.

That you really got to want it. You really got to want it. You do have to want it. For a woman to be like, I'm bisexual. It's like big deal. There's no stigma. Okay. I was going to tell you this when you, when you brought this up. The funny thing is when you meet, even when you're like a guy and you meet a guy and they're like, yeah, you know, I'm bisexual. Yeah.

Most guys go bullshit. Yeah. Right. You're like, really? But when you meet a woman who's like, I know a woman who is married to a man and she's like, sometimes I hook up with women and I don't go, I think she's a lesbian. Correct. I'm like, yeah, I buy it. I don't know what it is. I don't know if it's just like, I just go like, I believe that she is.

sexually interested in both yeah but a guy who says that you're like come on dog like right because it's such because it's such a crazy thing for a man in our society to go to a d another d and here's the thing most major i'm not saying every but most women that are straight women go like uh no

you're gay to that guy of course they go like no no no he's gonna be gay cause every guy listen I've been around how straight are you how straight are you I have many gay male friends there is a time when they go I'm bisexual and that time is usually in their 20s when they're figuring out the road to gayness you know yeah it's just it's an interim it's not a final destination and I know that's

going to get me into trouble, but I don't care. I'm stupid and I think stupid thoughts. Send us an email. If you thought you were bi or actually gay, or if you're saying you are currently bisexual and you're a man and you want to tell us about it, send us an email. Yourmomspodcast at gmail.com. There's no house in the email address. It's yourmomspodcast at gmail.com. In the subject line...

Please put bisexual and loving it. I'm gay. And we will respond. No, that's so gay. You know, we should ask Tim Dillon. Why would we ask him? He's gay. I know, but does he believe that there are bisexual men? Well, I'm going to reach out to an open, I know a guy who's openly bisexual. I'm going to ask him to send us a video. Exactly.

We'll play it. Maybe we'll ask them to do a call with us. Yeah. And if I can add, by the way, since we're going to cap reports, I mean, I got a big one this week. I don't know. Oh, you have a new big cap report? I have a big one. Okay. Besides gender equality? Besides gender equality. That was pretty big. Besides ED, PMS, all the acronyms. Let us know. The next one that I got, we got to stop this, especially us guys out there. We got to stop panic attacks. Panic attacks. Yeah.

Anxiety is cap. Panic attacks are fucking... Shut the fuck up, bro. What are you complaining about? If you look up the definition of panic attack, and it will literally, in the definition, define its own capness. Its own capness? If I might create that adjective. Can we actually... Capness. Scroll down. No. No.

Mayo Clinic's a pretty reliable source. Go to three down. That one. Let's see. Hit that. Scroll. Open it bigger. A panic attack is a sudden episode of intense fear that triggers severe physical reactions when there is no real danger or apparent cause. Panic attacks can be very frightening. When panic attacks occur, you might think you're losing control, having a heart attack, or even dying. You hear that?

You might think that you're losing control. There is no real danger or apparent cause. But those people internally believe that this is happening. Exactly. And you're saying that's bullshit. It's all in your head. Yeah, I agree. It is bullshit. It's all bullshit. That is definitely going to make people so upset. That's cool.

Some people who really suffer from crippling anxiety. Because they're traumatized? He's like, quit your bullshit. What's up, PTSD people? They go through therapy and they get medication. He's like, stop being a bitch. These doctors, they're trying to keep you down. Forget all that bullshit. What's the... What is it? The damn...

I'm sweating. I'm laughing so hard. What do you do? Gab pentin? Fucking breathe. That's the, that's the, the. They also get psychiatric, like, you know, you get. You get meds, bro. Yeah, you get meds, like Xanax, Gab pentin, stuff like that. After you, you know, have been told for so long that you have such an issue that you have to get these things. Just, just, here you go. Just, there you go. If you suffer from crippling anxiety, please send us an email. Ah!

Your mom's podcast at gmail.com. Subject line, panic is cap. I don't even have to. I'll let you guys take it from here. I can't even help you on this one, Annie. This will help you out. This was, I found this, I sent this in immediately and I was like, pull this immediately.

Because this was on YouTube. I don't even know if it's still on YouTube. But this was on YouTube and I am not making this up. No, I don't think you know. Oh, this is not the... Okay. I don't know. Maybe you know about this too. I don't think I told you about this. Oh, okay, okay. So... Because there's one that I showed you that Creshawn sent me that you're like, have the boys rip this immediately. Oh, really? Is this it? Okay, maybe this is it. Sorry. There's a lot that's going on. It's a lot, guys. Hitler, aliens, Garth. For reference, this is how hairy my butt is right now.

Alright, so step one is to squeeze this cream onto your hand. So I'm going to be doing just that. Alright, now it says to apply a thick, even layer to cover hair. Do not rub it in. So let's do that. He's got a great little fruity ass. He's a good looking guy.

Don't forget to cover the cheeks as well. Setting a timer for three minutes. Don't go past three minutes because I did that with my armpits. Like, I went to five minutes and it literally burned and stung so bad. We have one minute left. So far, there's no stinging. Nothing's hurting. It's all good. It's on his balls and his asshole. Hold on. Can we describe to people listening?

So this sweet little Asian guy, which by the way, Asians are fairly hairless to begin with. So I'm surprised he's even attempting this. This is on YouTube. His asshole, by the way, I should send him a video of my asshole. No shit. Because his asshole would be like, if they waxed my asshole, it would look like his asshole.

I know. His asshole's better than mine. Anyway, he's spreading his butt cheeks open so you see his dick and balls from the back. On YouTube. On YouTube. And it's still up. I don't know if it's still up. Is it still up? It's got to be down. It's still up? It is up. And I think it's because it's like he's, it's educational. Yeah.

And this is why I don't let you, don't let your children on YouTube, people. This is why my kids are not allowed on fucking YouTube. We should see if I can make the same video and if they leave it out. Oh my God, please. Please. Hey guys, here's my asshole today. Thicker hair may require more time. So let's check a small area first.

Jesus. Oh my god. That was one swipe. This is a fucking... Oh my god. This guy is out of his mind. God damn. A lot of the hairs came out, you guys. Yeah, that's how it works. He's got like a lemon's ass. Dude, his ass looks better than mine. Oh my god. Okay, bro. Holy fuck. What's that shit coming out of it? This is how my butt looks pre-rinse and pre-shower and post-hair removal cream.

I'm going to take a shower and clean the area and come back and show you what the results are. Thank you so much. I'm back from my shower, did my nighttime skincare. This is how my butt looks post-shower, post-rents, and post-hair removal cream. That's beautiful. I gotta do... Oh! He didn't have to do that. This is not an educational...

This is not, dude. Obviously, there are some hairs on my cheeks still, like stray hairs. But overall, I think we did really good. And I think this Nair Hair Removal Cream did a really good job at removing my butt hairs. And so, yeah, that's how you get rid of your butt hairs using the Nair Hair Removal Cream. Okay, I just want to say something. Or really any hair removal creams in general. Thank you guys so much for watching. I love you and I'll talk to you soon. Here's the thing.

It was educational. It was. I'm lying because I'm thinking about trying this. Yeah, me too. But he also, he did the asshole wink where he like, like that you see in a porn. Yeah. He was like, check out. And he like made his asshole. I didn't like that bit. And then this is on YouTube. And this fucking smile where he's like, daylight, goodnight. Are you? Oh, it's fucking crazy, dude. It is crazy. How many views does it have? Yeah, let's see.

Right now, I should say. That's amazing. And he's not giving you a genuine smile. He's giving the chimp smile because the eyes aren't, like he's not smiling with his eyes. He's giving like that weird like. Because that just thought just occurred to him like, oh, that's right. My mom and dad can pull up YouTube also. Anybody, my employer. By the way. It's at 38 million views. I think we should start making these videos and posting them on this channel. Fuck.

38 million views worth every watch, by the way. Hey, can I ask you this? Yeah. Do you think that the Nair, I mean, isn't it going to burn your B holdout like in your vision? He said, can I put this on my vagina? Can you look it up? Cause then I'd rather Nair my vag. That'd be great. Can you Nair your vision? Yeah, dude. I had no idea.

It can't be used on directly. It should not be used directly. Yeah, because it like burns the hair off. So he's putting it on his b-hole. Yeah, I'm going to try it. I'm going to try it. Let's do it tonight. Yeah. I'll let you know how it goes. Let's Instacart some Nair. Don't forget. Putting it in the fucking thing right now, dude. Man. His asshole really looked good, though. Yeah. That was amazing. I didn't know you could do that with Nair. Fuck. You know what we haven't... Oh, I wanted to tell you this. Yeah.

This is pretty exciting. You brought this up. It's been a while. It's been a while. Are we going there? I'm ready. It's been a while. You don't know the excitement of when I found him back. I forgot about him. I'm also, by the way, I'm surprised he's alive. I'm not going to say that I'm not. Sweetheart.

Ready? Oh my God. I'm fucking pumped, dude. Well, good morning, my kings and queens above 18. How are we doing this morning? Time to put them feet on the ground and let's take off running. Let's enjoy the day. Come on. Have fun and enjoy. We are. It's going to be a beautiful day out there. Get out there and do something. Do something. Get out there and enjoy the world. Do some yard work. Maybe go shopping. Do some yard work. Something like that. Like that. Yeah, you guys deserve it. You worked all week. Thank you. Time to spend that money.

Can I tell you something? If you're not familiar with the King of 18, I mean, this guy, you know, we got to know him over the years. Good morning, ladies. It's six o'clock in the morning. It's time to go to work. Get up and let them boobs hang. Come on. Make some videos right when you get out of bed before you put that bra on. There you go. Very nice boobs. You guys keep it up. I love the videos of the no bra. Yeah.

Good afternoon, my queens above 18. That's what he became known as. We've got a mock-up shirt that we've done with a marker just to show you what it's going to look like. Incredible shirt. Incredible design. These are the muscle shirts. Muscle shirts. You know, Pharrell is now doing the Louis Vuitton designs. I don't know if you know that. Queens above 18. He's the actual creative director now at, I believe it's at Louis Vuitton. Uh-huh.

You should do that. Well, you know what I was thinking is that I would actually buy that shirt, that shirt. I'm saying with the handwriting on there, that would be so rad. I mean, that could sell as a Vivian Westwood original. It's very punk rock. It's very cool. For my queens above 18, I have got a very special request going out.

This video is the very, very, very request. Very special. Very request. It's going out to a queen above 18. Very special. She just turned 50 years old. Wow, wow, wow. Wow, wow. Very request. Yeah. Is the Asian lady at... What? So relaxed? We're so relaxed. Massage place. Good evening, my kings and queens above 18. Well, you get the idea. So...

Can I tell you something that he's also really big on? He's real big on it's a beautiful day, get those feet on the ground, get the day going, get outside and do something. And he often does this message while lying down. Always. He's never...

giving the even the suggestion that his feet are on the ground and that he started his day he's like let's go do some yard work let's go see the world he's literally like he's doing none of that he's laying down doing it always always bad angle and not only that in this video let's keep up the challenge no bra day oh there we go keep up the challenge of no wearing a bra yeah

Let's take it all the way up until October. How about that? Oh, wow. This is official. You heard the king, everybody. I know they're going to get cold. Okay, the king has spoken. And why are his glasses fogging up? Probably from his breath. He probably already got his feet on the ground, had a...

Real active morning, laying down for a rest. Wait, so he's telling us, the ladies, the Queens of Buffy team, no bra until October? Until October. That's a long time. No bra challenge. Let's do it until October.

He literally did that the way a king from the old era would be like, my people, you know, like we will all eat meat every day until October. He just issued a challenge. He declared it. Let the meat kick. Do you...

Do I register for this challenge? Like the New York City Marathon? I think you just send him the video and then he goes, approved. Yeah. Approved. The king. The king. Unreal. He's still at it, though. I was worried because we didn't hear from him for a while. A long time. But when we met him, we did a sketch with him about, what, two years ago now? And this guy makes fucking Bert look like David Goggins. Let's be honest. Like, this guy...

does not move a lot. No, and he said that he had some knee trouble. He does work as a truck driver, so he sits a lot. Yeah. And he may have some health issues, so I'm glad that he's back and telling us to go. All right. Enjoy your day. Have fun. Thank you. Always enjoy the day. Slap that queen on her butt. Slap that king on his butt. Get him up.

Put them in the shower. Let's go. Let's go. Let's go. My queens. Active. The kingdom is safe today. The kingdom is safe and everybody's good. He doesn't have much. I love you guys. You guys have a wonderful day. Free the girls. No bra month.

Have a good day. Till October. Yeah, no, bro. Two months, you mean. Yeah. His math is suffering, too. Oh, my God. Remember when he had his merchandise shop and we tried to help him by plugging it? Oh, my God. Wait, remember the process? Yeah, it was multiple emails. You want one of these shirts? He goes, you send me an email. Tell me which shirt and which size. Then send me another email where I'll send you an email back about where to send payment.

It's to Kathy. You have to write the check out to Kathy. Write the check to Kathy. You send that to her. And then when we get that, send us your address in the third email and we'll know where to ship it. And you're like, this is a great way to sell stuff. Squarespace, dude. I think we literally don't use Squarespace to build a fucking website. Jesus Christ. Another super fucking cool guy who is really the legend of all. The coolest? The coolest guy that's ever existed. And, you know, we love him. He is a dear, dear friend.

I would say, you know, like a, the origin of what this show is about is, you know. Of course. My favorite. My love. If you're a hot black guy, you want to fuck me at $23.95. If you want. Annie, how are you? You can move in. I think so. If you haven't, if you haven't paid attention to this, it's been a few months. RPC leaving increasingly,

more critical emails or excuse me, comments. He leaves them often multiple times under the same post, sometimes from different accounts. And he, you know, he does it everywhere. He does it on all the, so he wrote on, this is, I think on the Facebook post on the right on Facebook page, it says the so-called mess of a painting is not what I wear. I don't wear this hat anymore.

Only for a character I do, which is basically saying I do wear this hat, but when I'm in character. Right. The background would need flames. I should have a cigar and a black cowboy hat on and a black open shirt, and then you have the real devil in me. Lucifer's lair. Right. Lucifer's lair. Why was I put near Uncle Big Lips?

Shameless bed bug, no shine picture as I just see something in him you can't. I'm never jealous, but he follows me and tries to compete with me. He lives in a men's shelter. He's in a mental institution, patient. Not me. Send 50 videos to YMH all the time. I'm a professional comedian and performer and don't do that. He always makes that claim that he's a professional comic. Right. Well...

To be fair, he does run the Coney Island drag show. He does the karaoke at Coney Island every Sunday. So this, by the way, is just something that I see on some of the things. I mean, this is actually an elaborate way for him. But he also, I mean, there's more than this. So here's a DM. Take my picture off that wall. I have my own show, not YMH. Take down my picture.

Take down my picture. And then there's, he sent a heart emoji. It doesn't make sense. Yeah. Someone wrote to him. Why don't you like YMH anymore? They played me for a fool. I came before on stink. No shine. And his picture came before me. I don't come in second place. That's what it is. Yeah. He, he thinks he's second place. And he said those lame comics made fun of me. It was not funny. So we've shown his videos to people. And like Louie had this big,

to it. I don't know if you remember. Yes, of course. Louis had a big reaction. If you don't know, you can look it up. And ever since then, I noticed RPC would do posts about Louis, trashing Louis. Oh, wow. And anybody that has said something, he gets very, very upset, you know? Take my picture off that wall of shame and disgrace.

It keeps going. This is him doing Uncle Booty Shines is in the house. He likes, what does he like? Black guys. Black guys who like to fuck. So maybe he's upset that Unc isn't into him? I don't know. Maybe he's got a thing for Uncle Shine? I don't know. That's him doing his Unc Shine. That's offensive. Yeah. That's not nice. This is like, he is gay, Tom is turning gay. Take my picture down. So phony.

Wait. Are you gay? I'm gay. Are you bisexual? I don't know. I don't think so. I don't think so. Yeah. So he's turning this around now. Oh, geez. Oh, this is my other nickname. Tom Ham Sandwich Cigar. So he started to call me Tom Ham Sandwich Cigar. Self-read doing his, he's a jerk, no talent, fake laughs on track.

No talent. You're sick. Big lips, shameless shine. So he's now he's like, like kind of tying me in with him spiraling a little bit. And he keeps calling me ham sandwich, which is funny. I love seeing there. No. Uh, and Theo meathead Vaughn and Louis CK is jealous. So guys who have seen the video and made a comment, he also attacks them. You know, it's really, really getting out there. Yeah. You know, um,

I don't know. But he goes through these cycles and then we call him and then he'll act like everything's fine. He's like, yeah, he's a little upset. But the difference is that now he doesn't answer. He won't answer the calls? He won't answer. He won't do calls. We were looking for interns and he wrote, do not take this offer. You do not need to work for them. Interns. He looks good there. He's telling me not to leave Garth alone.

Oh, I did like that he called me Miss Piggy. That was really funny. Yeah. On my last special, I wore all pink. And by the way, he also does this thing where like anytime I leave a, I put a post up, you know, like of anything, like if it's an Instagram post. Yeah. If I do a quick look at the comments, there's always something from him.

always that says like go away tom he just writes like go away we're all sick of you and i'm like wait what oh yeah here it is i did a screen grab i posted something and he wrote boring and then he wrote on the same post he wrote like 20 minutes later he went back and he wrote look it's tom tom tom tom always tom tom tom

You're not funny nor attractive. You're not worth a penny to see. And it happens like every post, every post he does this. Then apparently I didn't even know he's always doing, he's doing videos all the time. You know? Hey, what is it? Coach. Now Tom Segura is a coach. We've seen the pay up you had and you made your staff give you money. Tommy, Tommy.

He looks good. Oh, I can't see. Oh, I can't see.

extra, extra, all those magazines and all about your bills and affairs that you have on your staff and undercover money, you won't be alive, you mom-child kid. Oh, you're gonna go and captive

Cap. He's watching the Cap Report. He's watching. Well, listen, Robert. Another viewer. That's a beautiful necklace. We love you. I think Robert looks great. That's a great necklace. He looks really good, actually. Robert, that is a top tier necklace. We love you. I don't know where this is coming from. I know. You're clearly above Uncle Shine. You're one of the original...

people that we love the most. And, you know, he's, uh, he's making a reference to, this is terrible. Uh, when I coached any, right. For the basketball. He's like, Oh, you're a fucking, well, that was just coach. You know, he, he takes these things so seriously. It's like, Robert, this is a comedy show, you know? Yeah, I know. Please, please. No, no, I know. I know. I'm Tom Segura. No, don't take my picture. No, no,

No, I have to see my buddy. Please. I know I didn't write the book. Oh, that's another one he does. That I didn't write my book. That's interesting. Yeah. Well, okay. I watched you write it. I mean, I know. And it's also like, there's really specific stuff.

Yeah, I know. It's about like my dad and my mom. No, I watched you write it. It's very strange. Oh, he's got his dolls back though. That's nice. And he figured out filters. He did figure out. That's cool. But can I tell you one of the things that the curveball I got from all this? What? I'm not mad at Tom and Christina, but I've been up in Philly while I have cancer. Oh, I'm hoping to cope. I don't mind the picture up.

but I wish it was a better one. Well, you look great. I feel bad on how I vented, but doing a business and podcast on the side and Instagram, Facebook makes not one able to take tension. And I was like, Oh, okay. Yeah. And then the next day he wrote, now Tom Segura is making fun of a man who wants to say young.

What's the problem, Tom? Somebody can't be young and look good? That was Brian Johnson, the guy who does like the crazy treatments every day. Oh, yeah, that guy is awesome. Yeah, yeah, yeah, the millionaire. So anyway, it's like this crazy –

Rollercoaster. I just want to say something, man. Robert, you know, you're still our number one. Yeah, dude. I mean, we love you here. I had no idea you're dealing with any health issues. You know, if we can be of any assistance, I would hope that you would ask us because we would like to assist you in any way. You know, I thought the photo of you looks pretty badass, actually. Yeah, you look amazing. You're so handsome. Yeah. You look great. But look, man.

Here's the thing. Can I tell you the only thing that really gets to me about this? I don't like ham sandwiches. Really? I thought you tolerated. I'll have one if there's nothing, but I always go for turkey. I like turkey sandwiches. And I like ham. I like the taste, the smokiness of the meat. I don't like turkey. Here's the thing. Turkey dry pussy. It doesn't sound as good to say Tom turkey sandwich. No. Ham sandwiches rolls off the tongue better, but I just want them to know that.

I'm not a ham sandwich guy. I like turkey. I like chicken.

You like mayonnaise, which is weird. I am a mayonnaise fan. Is mayonnaise cap or what? Is mayonnaise cap? I don't think I could make a condiment cap, no. I'll try, though. I will research. I'll do my research. Do you like mayo? No, not personally. It's a very cultural thing. 4000 Island. We don't like ranch. But you don't like ranch either, right? Black people don't like ranch?

Huh? What? Do a lot of people eat ranch? I forget. Ranch? Ranch? Ranch is kind of creamy and mayo-y. I mean, I could fuck with ranch. It depends. It depends what it's on. What's your favorite? If you have to take a dressing, what will you take?

Oh, for a salad? Yeah. I don't eat salad. How's your health eating since everything? I remember you were on such a crazy health kick. Is it all back to what you were before? Not all back. I'm getting some routines in. I definitely am not going anywhere near as hard as I was for training because that was, I mean, that was brutal. But yeah.

Yeah, I got some more routines in for sure. I'm drinking nothing but water. Really? Yeah, yeah. That's so good. No soda. Basically no alcohol. Basically nothing but water. No alcohol. Pretty much. Are you a big alcohol guy? That's the thing. Yeah, it wasn't a big deal for me anyway. That's my vice. I can't stop. I drink two glasses of wine every night in summertime, and I feel like a raging alcoholic. Yeah, you are kind of a booze bag. RPC...

It was so disgusting. We hope to... Yeah, Christine. Yeah. We hope to make up with you at some point. Yeah, we love you. I hope you will let us talk to you. It really makes me sad that he feels we don't love him because we have so much love and appreciation. Yeah. I love him so much. He's my original...

I even like watching him come. I don't mind it when he does those things and he's like, I'm going to come. I don't mind. Wow. I don't mind. It's like watching a friend say hello when he jizzes in front of me. All right. I will be in Las Vegas later this month. I will be at the Cosmopolitan, I believe, the Chelsea at the Cosmopolitan. I'm doing three shows. Wow, wow, wow. Yeah. Wow, wow, wow. Wow.

And I have some shows that I've announced. I'm back out there. You know what I mean? I'm back out there doing my thing and stuff like that. If you want to see it, you can see... Let's see. Yeah, there's some of the... August 31st, September 1st, and 2nd in Vegas. And I've been doing... Vegas, baby. I've been doing Niagara Falls on November 9th. I've been doing...

a whole new hour of, you know, I'm loose. I'm loose. I'm out there having fun, figuring it out. That's the best. I love the process. You want to see me talk about H-Dog, some of the stuff that I'm thinking about these days? H-Dog. Come to his show. I'm really enjoying it. All right. And then, Jean? I'm going to, as a special announcement, new dates. Toronto, literally, there's like 20 tickets left for the Bluma Apple Theater, September 7th, September 8th.

December 8th. Jizz and Peg. Canada. You might want to... Win it. Willie Peg. Win a peg. Win a peg. At the Club Regent Event Center. Correct. You know what I mean? And then Comedy Vex. Downtown Denver. The best. I know. Those shows are almost all sold out, so get your tickets right now, right now. And then I added Short Lake Titties. Pootah. Wise Guys. October 13th to 14th. You know what I'm saying? You know what I mean? No, the hell we don't. You ain't say anything yet. No, I'm not.

See what I'm saying, prof? October 15th. You know what I'm saying. The Comedy Club on State, October 26th through 28th in Madison. Another amazing club is coming. Have you done a comedy club on State? Like a million years ago. It's fantastic. Right now, I don't know what you're saying. I don't know what you mean. And then I added A Night in Vegas, which will be announced pretty soon in October as well. Ooh. That's fantastic.

Yeah. ChristinaPOnline.com. Also, buy my lipstick if you haven't already. It is an incredible product. Yeah, just do it. Try it out. I've perfected my shade of red because I've been wearing red lipstick like a little whore since I was 13. And there might be coming up maybe a new announcement in that world. Maybe in that world. We shall see. And that's it. I love you. Let's see what else. Yeah.

Oh, yeah. What was the... Oh, yeah. You got to tell this. Right now? Which one? The top one there. The first thing. Can I pish first? Okay. Because I really want to tell the story like I mean it. I got to fucking squirt. All right. Can I tell you... Okay, I'm going to share the story with you guys. This happened to me over the summer.

And I'm proud and I'm not proud. Let me start by saying that, okay? So growing up, my mother was severely, was mentally ill. We all know that. She was, you know, schizophrenic at the end of her life. But she was very confrontational with people in public. Very confrontational. It cannot be stated publicly.

that some people are reluctant to confrontation, and some people really embrace it. And your mother definitely embraced confrontation. Like, to the point, and it was always usually directed at waitstaff. She was convinced if... Like, one time we went to a Japanese restaurant, and she was convinced that the hostess sat us near the toilets because we were white, and then called the lady racial gentleman of other kinds, that racial slur, which...

doesn't even it's not even the right slur for Japanese people you know I mean the point is my mother would start shit with people in public and my whole life I was ashamed about it and I was I became very non confrontational with people in public because of that reason like I'm always very understanding and I don't like I don't do a lot of road rage you don't see that with me like I don't do it okay now

This summer, you were in L.A., and I had to take your car because my car was unavailable or something. I had a car of mine in Los Angeles. That's part of this story. The whole reason, it's a long story, but it was in Los Angeles temporarily. And on this particular day, you're going to take it from here, but on this particular day, I... I forget why I didn't have my car. Yeah, I don't know, and I don't know where I was, but you go, hey, can I take your car? And I go...

Yeah. And you go, because you're like, just so people know, Christina is not into the cars that I like. She's not ever been like, I don't care. You don't care. But you've also never driven. That's true. This car. It is a Porsche 911. It's a GT3 Touring. Which means nothing to me. Right. But it is tuned up.

It has a, um, demand 4.5 liter engine. It's tuned up to 650 horsepower. So it fucking rips and yeah. And you tell me you're going to take it. And I'm like, it's GT three touring knowing. Um, so, um,

Anyway, you tell me and I'm like, yeah, have fun. And within, by the way, within 10 minutes, just before you get to your store, within 10 minutes, you call me and you're like, dude, this thing is fucking amazing. Yeah, I was like, dude, this fucking rips, dude. Because I took it through a canyon and I was like, fuck.

this is what I'm talking about. Like, I felt like I was one with the car. Does that make sense? I know. I was like, this is, I went to do my gig in Denver. Oh yeah. So I'm, you go, I'm like, I'm in Denver and you're like, can I take your car? And I go, yeah. Then I'm like, okay. And by the way, I didn't sleep well. I had to get up early for this flight. Um, I fly to Denver just to do one show, uh, at the club one night. Um,

And when I'm so tired, I go to take a nap. When I wake up from this nap, I pick up my phone and you have texted me. Oh, my God. Don't. I got into a fight. Okay. And I'm like, what? All right, listen. So let me back it up to you. Just to preface how mortified I am of public fighting, when my stepdad and my mom got together, my stepdad was a sociopathic criminal who I really liked, actually. He was a fun guy. A lot of times they're very charming. Yeah, he's so charming. He's so charming.

They would start fights with people anywhere. I'm talking like the grocery store parking lot. To give us an example. Okay. One time we were standing in line at a grocery store and somebody's kid was crying, like a three-year-old. And my stepdad goes to the parent, why don't you tell that kid to shut the fuck up?

And the person was like, what did you say to me? And then the dad of the kid was like, what the, what are you talking about? My kid's three years old. And he's like, yeah, my stepdad was like, you want to fucking fight me or something? And then they take it out to the parking lot and they have a fucking fist fight. That's the level of shit that I grew up with. Another time in a movie theater, my stepdad told somebody to shut up because they were making too much loud. And the same thing, like you want to go fucking fight me? Yeah. Like,

I just grew up in a lot of confrontation. My mom loved it. I think that's what made my mom attractive to my stepdad. She got excited about it, yeah. Because she inherently was very combative, which I know is how you say that word now, combative. And you... She loved it. She loved starting fights with strangers. You were like, I don't want this. I don't want fucking any part of this shit, okay? So anyway, I'm driving Tommy's fancy Porsche, and I...

I'm loving it. I'm having the best day. I didn't realize cars could be fun. And I'm just like, I'm having like a fucking SoCal day, right? Like I'm in a good vibe. I'm going to stop at my grocery store. I'm going to fucking hit up the salad bar. That's my favorite. Like I'm vibing and Rob Eiler and I are texting, I think.

and he sends me something funny, and I pull into the parking spot of the grocery store, and I text Rob back, you know, responsibly, I'm going to put it in park, and I'm just like idling, texting back, lol. I put the phone down, I turn off the car, I open the car door, and there's this old man standing there, like fucking right there, right? And I was like, that's weird, and I go, hey! Like, hey man, you know, like,

And he goes, finally. And I was like, what? And he goes, finally. Finally, you turned the damn car off. You were idling for like 15 minutes. And I go, what? Like at first I start laughing because I can't believe that somebody would pick that bone with me. Like I start, I go, wait, what? So to give this, to make like real clear, he, he's,

gets close to where you are. He moves. He walks up to me. He walks up to you. He's standing as I'm getting out of the car. And he's saying. And I stand up there. God, how long were you going to leave this car running for? Correct. And I, and I, so first I'm in disbelief. You think it's like a joke. Yeah. And I think he's like a fan or whatever. And, and I was like, wait, what dude? And he goes, I'm sitting here trying to have my lunch and your car is so loud. We can't enjoy our lunch. Now keep in mind.

This man is not eating in a restaurant. This is a grocery store in L.A. that has a patio area. Outside. If you are a fat fucking pig and you can't wait to get to your house or eat in your car like a civilized person, you fucking eat in the parking lot like an animal. And that's what this guy did. Right. OK, it's fucking hot. It's like you don't do it unless you're desperate to eat. In my opinion, that's the only time I've ever done it.

So he's, so I asked for clarification. I go, wait, what dude? And he goes, you were idling for so long and it was so loud. We can't enjoy our lunch. And I go, and I start to snap in like something fucking, I start, stop being, I stopped taking the high road in my head. Right. I'm like, Oh, this guy is out of his fucking mind. Like you're coming at me, bro. And I start to go like, you're,

You're actually mad at me because I idle too long? And then I started to defend myself. And I go, I sent a fucking text message to my friend...

And that was it. It was like maybe a two minute idle, sir. And he's like, well, it took forever. It took so long. And your car is so loud. And he repeated himself. I'm trying to eat my lunch. Right. It should be pointed out if it's not clear that your car is outside. And a parking lot. And in a parking lot where you put cars and he's deciding to have lunch outside where just cars make noise. Cars live outside. Yeah, you fuck. And then all of a sudden.

my crazy mom brain, not, not meaning mom brain, my mother, I fucking channel her.

It's something came over me and genetics, biologics took over. And Tom, I've never said the right thing. I've never had a good public fight. But today was my day. So he keeps saying it. He goes, he goes, I was trying to have my lunch and your car was too loud. And you know what I said? I go, yeah. Well, I hope it's your last lunch, you old piece of shit.

And I was like, oh my God. And I was so proud of myself. Like, you know, when you're vibrating, cause you're like, I did it. I stood up for myself. I fucking did it. And I was so happy with myself.

And then he's like, whoa, yeah. And he keeps yelling at me. And I just start, I walk away. I'm like, I hope it's your last lunch. I hope you fucking die. And I walk away and I'm so shaking and vibrating. And you think when you tell me this, by the way, because you tell me this story when you're inside. So I get inside. Yeah, but hold on. But hold on. So hold on. So I'm fucking talking to myself. I'm muttering to myself because I'm so keyed up that I got a zinger in, number one. And I'm having a confrontation with some fucking weird guy in a parking lot. So I'm all like...

And I'm muttering. I'm like, motherfucker. Fuck you. You fucking, you're fucking too loud. Like I'm talking to myself and this woman fucking sees me talking to myself and I go, I'm sorry. I'm talking to myself. I just fought with a man in a parking lot. And she goes, that's okay. I talked to myself too. And I was like, okay, thank God I'm not. And you know, when you're, you're afraid that everyone's watching you and everyone's seen it. I'm in this shame spiral. So that's when I call you. You call me. In the fucking grocery store. And here's the thing. Oh my God. I can sense your...

You're saying because you go, God, you tell me the story. And I was like, quiet for a second. You're like, are you embarrassed by me? Are you mad at me? Yeah, because I hate this kind of stuff. I go, dude, this is great. Like, this is the best story I've ever heard. And you go, really? I go, yeah, like, that's awesome. I'm so proud of you. I'm so happy that you did that. You said, I love you more. Yeah, yeah, I did. Too close. I thought it was really great. And then I think I go to the gym in the hotel. And when I get back-

My phone goes, I have a follow-up second story with the guy. And I'm like, what? Yeah. So it gets even crazier. So I'm now walking through the grocery store. I get my items. I'm talking myself down because I'm very amped up. And I go to the checkout and I'm like, okay, what do I like? Okay, this is done. Just fucking put it past you. Like you were having a rad day. Just go back. Go back. Just fucking shake it off like Taylor Swift. Right.

And I fucking look outside and he's still there. He's still eating lunch in the goddamn parking lot. Yeah. And I was like, fuck, now I have to reconfront this man because my car is still parked. He's still sitting there. I have to have another fucking confrontation with this man.

So at this point, I'm thinking, like, I got to show Tom this guy. So I snap a picture of him. And I also, there he is. Yeah. This goblin-looking piece of shit. Look at, it's not even a fucking window. That's a piece of tarp plastic that they put so animals like him can eat in the parking lot without dust blowing up. Show the other picture of this animal, this demon goblin. Ugh. Yeah. And you're too loud. Yeah.

So I'm like, shit, I have to see this guy again. So then I say to myself, I says, Christine, you're going to walk to the car with your head up high. Right. And I said, I talked to myself, you're going to walk your fuck this guy if he comes up to you again.

You know, I'm still a woman and this little man, he can fucking kill me. I mean, I know he's old as shit and he's going to die, but like he can still harm me. So I'm like, just walk up, act like nothing's happening. You're proud of yourself. You didn't do anything wrong. You stood up for yourself. You get in the car and you get out of here. So I walk proudly to our car. I open the door. I start the engine. And you know what I said to myself? I said, self, fuck this guy.

Fuck him. You are your mother's daughter. You're going to give it a little fucking extra sauce before you leave the park. And it was like, again, I channeled Edith. She was in me and she was like, she was whispering to me. She's like, here's what you have to do. The crazy whisper. She goes, rev the engine five times. Let him know who you fucking are.

Cause I've got Texas plates on that shit too. Right. So I was like, I start the car and it is, it is loud. It is loud. There's an aftermarket exhaust on it too. It's pretty fucking loud. This,

This thing is like a jet engine. It's like, like the idle is loud. And then I do it five times. I really get him fired up and I see him fucking standing. Now he's really pissed off. He's standing and I'm backing out. And I was like, okay, Christina, just back out. Don't hit anybody. Don't, don't fuck yourself now, bitch. Like you're almost out. So I back out successfully. I'm like, I'm shaking. Cause I'm so stoked to fuck with him again. And then I'm pulling up and I'm like shaking.

And he's yelling at me again. He goes, finally, finally, you get out of here. And I roll my window down and I go, oh, sir, you forgot this. And I flip him fucking bird. Yeah. And then I drive off. And I was so proud of myself. Yeah, thanks, guys. Thanks. I've never done that. I've never. Can I tell you what I'm really proud of is like, I never get moments like that. Like, you know, when you fight with somebody and you're like, I should have fucking, I should have fucking. The fact that I was like,

That my mother's angel, like an angel was on my shoulder guiding me. A confrontational angel. Yeah. Yeah. And you were right about something else that you said, which was that he wouldn't have said that to a guy. Right. No. No.

He saw a woman get out of the car and he was like, I'll put her in her place. You know, there's a lot of guys that will confront women that won't confront men. You know, gender equality is cap. Yeah. Because I agree. I think he did see like a little blonde girl. He saw you get out and he was like, I'm going to fuck with her. Yeah. He came up to me, bro. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. If he saw a big dude get out of the car, he wouldn't have been like, hey, watch out the idling. You

To you? You could crush him. He's an old man. Fucking disgusting nebbish goblin piece of shit fuck face. I would have loved to have seen that though. Him coming to you? I would have loved him to say that to you. I might have lost my shit if I saw him say it to you. You would have? It could have been bad. It could have been bad. Break his fucking... Yeah, I probably would have said some... Some meaner stuff? Not cool stuff. What would you say? I don't know. I don't want to think about it actually.

I probably would say a lot meaner stuff if I saw him saying something to you than if I saw him saying it, if he said it to me, you know? I mean, look, I get it in the world. Like, he's just looking to dispense his negative energy. Yeah, he's an old guy that eats at the grocery store, you know? And it's a good grocery store, by the way. I know, I know. He can afford a better...

Whatever, dude. The main thing about this is like cars are allowed to make noise outside. In parking lots, bro. Yeah, if it was like I'm eating in a restaurant and you pulled your car into the restaurant, that's a fucking crazy thing to do. Yeah, complain all you... But like you're in a parking lot. Look, you can see the cars there. Yeah, of course. Through his tarp. You're allowed to do whatever you want with that. Yeah, anyway, I'm just super pumped that like...

I finally got a zinger in. It never happens to me. I'm always like, you're the one. Shut up. And then, you know, you think about it later. I hope that your last lunch is a great wine. Thanks, man. Yeah. Thanks, man. Very proud of you. And I'm proud that you still love me because I was like afraid. Yeah, you were very afraid. Oh my God, he's going to think I'm, I'm always so afraid that you'll think I'm crazy like my mom or something. No, no. You just love me more and that's really cool. Yeah. When you say mean things to people, it always makes me happy. That's our special bond. Yeah.

All right. Thanks, babe. We got to wrap it up. I love you, Tom. You're the best. Love you, too. And thank you guys for watching. Thank you for listening. And we'll see you next week. Bye, mommy. Good morning, my queens above 18. A lot of you are asking about the King Challenge.

Get up and start the day. Come on, come on. Put the feet on the ground, get you a nice hot breakfast.

Very lovely. Take that cover and put me in shower. Take that cover and put off yourself. Take that cover and put me in shower. Get up and start the day. Hands above 18. Hands above 18. Hands above 18. Please, if you're below the age of 18, don't do this challenge. I trust you guys won't.

Become 18, you can.

You can do anything. King. On the front. King. On the back. You know the king likes the no bra look. Can you give me a dance? Friends above 18. Friends above 18. Friends above 18. Please, if you're below the age of 18, what we can do is have fun with this. Take an old white t-shirt.

King on the front, king on the back. The king loves you. The king loves you. The king loves you. The king loves you. And do a video. Very lovely. Fun with it. Friends above 18. Friends above 18. Friends above 18. Please, if you're below the age of 18, enjoy. I love you all.

Let's make some videos. I want to see them. I want to laugh.