How To Win A Fight In A Comedy Club w/ Ali Siddiq | Your Mom's House Ep. 775
01:47:23 Share

I love a great deal as much as the next guy, but I'm not going to crawl through a bed of hot coals just to save a few bucks. It has to be easy. No hoops.

No BS. So when Mint Mobile said it was easy to get wireless for $15 a month with the purchase of a three-month plan, I called them on it. Turns out it really is that easy to get wireless for 15 bucks a month. We use Mint Mobile at the studio and I can personally attest to how easy it was to get set up with our unlimited plan. To get this new customer offer,

and your new three-month premium wireless plan for just 15 bucks a month, go to mintmobile.com/mom. That's mintmobile.com/mom. Cut your wireless bill to 15 bucks a month at mintmobile.com/mom. $45 upfront payment required equivalent to $15 per month. New customers on first three-month plan only. Speed slower above 40 gigabytes on unlimited plan. Additional taxes, fees, and restrictions apply.

See Mint Mobile for details. Welcome to another episode of Your Mom's House. Sitting in with me as always is my lovely co-host, Christina. That is amazing. You look beautiful as always, Christina.

And joining us today for the first time, long overdue, is a comedian whose epic special endeavor that we're going to get into is out on YouTube. The Domino Effect 4, Pins and Needles, is streaming now on YouTube. It is Ali Sadiq, everybody. Let him hear it. What's good, people?

And, um, uh, you can get tickets for his shows that Ali Sadiq.com, uh, real quick before I forget, we just announced, um, doing, uh, Boston TD garden on February 14th, Valentine's day of next year. Uh,

And then we announced February 22nd. I'll be at the Moody Center here in Austin, Texas. And also coming up in the next week or two, I will be in Las Vegas September 7th, Vancouver September 13th, and Denver at Ball Arena on September 14th. More 2025 dates will be announced soon. Tickets for those are at tomcigar.com slash tour. Now, I have to tell you something, man. I was alluding to this before.

I met you when we did Ari's show. Yes, sir. And I was there for... I think I was walking around and I just heard, like, Mexicans got on boost today. And I was like, what the fuck? And I laughed so... I was like, this guy is hilarious. And I thought you were very funny. And I keep up with, like, you know, you see, like, oh, this guy's on the road. Or someone will be like, oh, I just saw Ali. How's he doing? And you're like, that's cool. You know he's doing well. Great. And then...

I know you're coming in. And I'm like, they gave me like a, like, oh, you know, he's been working on this, this self-released streaming thing for his specials. And I go, oh, like, what is it? And they're like, oh, it's like, it's part four of, I think will be six. And I go, wait, what? And then they're like, yeah, it's like a series of specials. And so I go, oh, okay. And they go, the latest one

Came out in June, I think. Yeah, Father's Day. Okay, it came out Father's Day. It's almost at 3 million views. You're combined already at 25 million plus for what you put out. And I was like, what? And I look at this latest one.

And first thing I noticed is it's an hour 56 and I go fucking two hours long. And I'm like, what is, cause most, when you watch specials, a lot of times you're like, this motherfucker should have cut this shit down. Like a lot of one hour specials. You're like, this should be a 40 minute special. And I'm watching yours and I'm like, dude, it's unbelievable. It really is one of the best things I've seen in a long time. It is like,

It's poignant, at times somber, hilarious. And I think most of all, it is vivid. Like it's vivid storytelling. And I mean, I love to tell stories. And the reason I love to tell stories is because I love to watch storytellers and hear storytellers. But this thing, I mean, it's so good.

I really can't recommend it enough. And I guess what I would recommend is probably start with part one, right? I started with the one that had just come out. So I don't even know about the... Oh. Because you can. You can jump in on part four and it just opens and you're like...

What I love, too, is that good storytellers don't panic. I always tell when people go, how do you tell a good story? When they ask me about storytelling, I'm like, there's the comics who are just joke joke guys. Sometimes they have a moment of silence. They're like, ah! And they start acting like they can't sit on silence. And storytellers use silence. So this part four starts...

very quiet and there's like this buildup, but it pulls you in. It's like, it's very like you, you lean forward and it, and then it eventually turns to a joke and like you just put together as I'm watching it that, I mean, yeah, cause it starts with the, like the prison number. Like you start getting into the number and how the, your numbers, like your identification, how you've heard it a million times and said it a million times and

And then, like, I mean, I'm just, like, leaning into this thing. And it's such, like, the characters. Like, I saw you brought a Wynn and Brown today. They're in the lobby. But this is so good, man. It's so good. Oh, man, thank you very, very much. Yeah, I'm very impressed. And I really, really, I highly recommend it. I want to ask the guys so many questions to ask is, like,

One of the things I watch, first of all, I'm very happy for you that you're doing theaters and selling them out. Thank you. Can you imagine you incarcerated realizing that in a few years what your life is now? It's got to be insane to you, right? It's insane. When you stop and think about it? Yeah, it's definitely one of those things. I was going to call my friend the other day.

And like, yo, man, do you believe like the, like we was just at the dealership and this is, this is clean money. Right. This is clean money. And me and him was locked up together. And I'm like, yo, I met him at the dealership because he's getting ready to buy a Porsche. And I walked in, I'm like, which one are you getting? Cause I was thinking of having me something. I'm like, yo, this is, this is for real. Like this is,

It's one of those things that I would have never thought that I can buy something very expensive on a Tuesday and be totally fine. And you don't sweat it. It doesn't affect your lifestyle. And you know that you're going to go out on the weekend and recoup whatever you spent. Do you know why I didn't buy that Porsche? And it's why I haven't bought a Porsche yet. Why? Because I get spooked by things. Uh-huh.

I was I remember I was in I was out the country again, having a good time. And David Arnold text me on Instagram. He's like, yo, I thought I had your number in my phone. It's my number. Call me. And I was like, well, I call him when I get back, you know, from vacation. Yeah. No, no one better than that. No one. I should just call right then because I know I get spooked. Then I got back and David Arnold passed. Yeah.

And he had just, like, I literally saw him on Instagram. He had just bought this beautiful burgundy Porsche. And, like, in the middle of his, he's celebrating his victory, taking his, I'm going to go buy this Porsche. And then he passed. And I was like, man, I'm not going to get no Porsche. I'm cool. And it's just because I'm spooked. Yeah, it freaks you out. It's one of those things. It makes sense. Like,

not to throw nothing out there. If I would have, if I, if somebody would have sent me your video right before I went on vacation, I would never be in this. I was like, nope, nope.

doing it something's about to happen for people that don't know you you just had surgery last week for broken ribs and a separated clavicle they had to put my shoulder back together and the activity you were doing surfing now was you was this a first time no you've been surfing before I was done and I was walking out

And by the way, it's always when you're done. I was done too, dude. I was done. I was like, I'm good. And they're like, you got it. Do one more. That's how that shit happened. Done. I'm walking out. My son says, like he's right in front of me. My son said, dad, look, this is how big the way was. I turned around and I was like, oh, okay. That's the way I couldn't even get nowhere. And it just crashed down on me and slammed me into the sand. Right.

So my arm, I never would have thought that I would have got like road rat. That's from a wave crashing. This is the same. Like it's sandblasted my arm. Like, and I've gotten color back now. It's it, it was so pink. It was crazy. So they had to open up my whole shoulder to put it back. And, you know, they, they had to think how my chart where they send you your stuff and

My doctor looked older on the inside. I trusted him. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was like, yo, he's done this a thousand times. Yeah. I didn't really see him. He said I met him before surgery, but the anesthesiologists, they are very sneaky people. It's like, yo, can you count backwards from 10? I was like 10, and I never even thought of nine. Like nine. It's amazing. It never came into my mind, nine. So I met him, I guess, during that time. And when he walked in, he said, man, hey.

The first thing he said, this is what I knew. He was too hip. He was like, yo, love you, Travis Scott. Do you want to know what I did? I'm like, wait a minute. He's a sneakerhead. I'm like, no, I don't need a sneakerhead doctor. So he's telling me all the stuff that he had to do. Who do you like more, Drake, Kendrick? What are you feeling right now? And you're like, what the fuck? You're 70. But he's like a young kid. He's a young dude. So he tells me all what he did. I had to put a rope and

pin it and put it in figure eight and then I put some cadaver tendons in there and after he said all that I said was it a black cadaver he said Ali that's some racist shit I'm just asking I think we feel a little different let it be a tough white guy give me a tough white guy's shit is it like Cushion Cushion came back very fast yeah yeah yeah

Dude, that, so when you got hit, you obviously know immediately you're fucked up. Oh, it's like when the wave hit me, right? I heard a, it's like somebody crunched up a bag of chips. Yeah. And I was like, oh, my neck is definitely broke. Like in my mind, I was like, oh, my neck is definitely broken. So I tumbled, right? And the first thing in my mind is like, yo, what?

my son is out here so if it messed me up it had to affect my son right and how old is he 13. I have two 131 13. so I'm I'm looking for him and as I'm looking I noticed that one arm is moving and one arm is not and like oh I don't even look at it I can't move my arm I don't look at it so I'm looking for my son and my son is literally standing in safety like

hey, what's going on with you guys? Like, what's the deal? And I looked at him like, Hassan, Hassan. I was like, come on. I can't move. I said, I'm running up this hill, right? I'm 50, man. Been in prison for six years. Been in the streets since I was 10. I'm a pretty rugged dude, man. When I came up

Because you had to come up the beach, you had to come up over the sand. My mom, my aunt, and my sister were in a canopy, just relaxing. And me and my mom locked eyes. I'm still like at least 30, 40 yards away from her. We locked eyes, and I just looked at her like, and she's looking like, I'm like seven years old now. I need to get to, because man, I was...

My body was on fire. Like something was, I knew something was wrong. Shock response inside of you. Yeah. But my big thing was my, I couldn't move my arm. So I'm,

This guy is like, first of all, Mexican people are very tough. Hey, everyone. With the football season kicking off, it's the perfect time to dive into the action with our partners at DraftKings, the number one place to bet on touchdowns. And right now, all new customers who bet $5 will instantly get $250 in bonus bets, plus get one month of NFL Plus Premium. That's something we can all celebrate. Download the DraftKings Sportsbook app and sign up using my promo code MONTH.

The crown is yours. Stay in on the action and use your $250 in bonus bets to bet anytime touchdowns on DraftKings. DraftKings is the place to bet touchdowns. If sports betting is not yet available in your state, don't worry. You can still join in on all the fun with DraftKings Daily Fantasy and have the shot to win cash prizes. Download the DraftKings Sportsbook app now. New customers use my promo code MOM and bet just $450

on any wager and get $250 in bonus bets instantly. That's promo code MOM only at DraftKings Sportsbook.

or visit ccpg.org. Please play responsibly. On behalf of Boot Hill Casino and Resort in Kansas, 21 and over, age and eligibility varies by jurisdiction. Void in New Hampshire, Oregon, and Ontario. Bonus bets expire 168 hours after issuance. For additional terms and responsible gaming resources, see dkng.co slash ftball. NFL Plus Premium offer available only to new and former NFL Plus subscribers. Additional NFL Plus Premium terms at nfl.com slash terms.

- The road to getting engaged can be long and full of memories, or it can be short and thrilling, or somewhere in between. But the road to finding the perfect engagement ring is a straightforward path every time. All you gotta do is head over to bluenile.com. On bluenile.com, you can create a bigger, more brilliant piece than you can imagine at a price you won't find at a traditional jeweler.

Blue Nile is the original online jeweler since 1999. Every Blue Nile order is insured and arrives in packaging that won't give away what's inside. In most cases, it can be delivered overnight. Blue Nile offers a 100% satisfaction guarantee with guaranteed free shipping and returns so you can make sure your ring is the one. Right now, it

$50 off your purchase of $500 or more with the code your mom at blue Nile.com. That's $50 off with the code, your mom at blue Nile.com blue Nile.com. Yeah. Very, very tough people. Yeah. So they even got me, he took his shirt off, ripped it and tied my arm in a thing. And they, they got the wheelchair. They bring it up and he tells me, he said, Hey man, this is not that bad. You're going to be okay.

I used to be a bull rider. This happens all the time. I'm like, yo, this is a different sport. Yeah, man. It's so different. I don't care nothing about your bull riding expectations. Yo, bro. Then I hated that they rolled me through the resort. Yeah. Hey, man, go around back. Take me around the back. You ain't got to take me in front of everybody. They rolled me right through the resort. Yeah, yeah. School display. People with martinis like, what?

I'm like this. No pictures. No pictures. And did they take you straight to a hospital? Straight to the hospital. They had an ambulance outside. Wow. In Mexico, the ambulance

in Cabo, they're a little different from regular ambulance. This is like a Prius that said St. Luke's on the side. He wasn't even no ambulance person. He was just a regular person. He's like, hospital, hospital, whatever he said. I'm like, man, who called you? But he's legit because it said a hospital name on the side on the thing. I'm like, wow.

This is an Uber, man. I want medical shit. We have no patches on or nothing. So did you do the operation there? No, I did the x-rays and everything there. They didn't even know my ribs were broke there. They just was really focused on my shoulder. And so I get back, get x-rays, and then they said, well, you're going to have to have an MRI because we need to really get into the shoulder. But just in case you don't know,

I'll never forget this lady named Sandy. She said, where is most of your pain at? And I was like, in my back and right up on my arm. That's how I was talking. I'm like, in my back and up on my arm. She was like, hey, you want to see your x-rays? I remember they never showed your x-rays on 50. They never showed your x-rays growing up. Now they love plastering them in front of you. Screens like this, too. Yeah, big screens. And she's like, oh, you see all them black spots? I say, yeah.

Those are breaks in your ribs. Like you've broken five and you've broken six. I'm like, oh, okay. And your sternum is severely sprained. Like you have a really bad bruise in your sternum. And I'm like, oh, that's what that is. And I said, and I know I'm smart. I know I'm intelligent. But when you're in pain, you just say weird things. I said, why is it hurting my back? And she said, okay.

The ribs kind of like wrap around like all your important things. It's like, oh, you're right. You're right. You're correct. Wait, you have the sand scar here. But this shoulder is the one that's broken? No. Oh, so this is the broken. And then is this side sensitive too? No, nothing. Okay. This side is good. This is my new, I had a sling that,

I had the original sling, right? Their sling in Mexico was pretty good. Yeah. Because it kind of crisscrossed and held me up. So then after the surgery, they gave me another sling, right? So I went, I've been on the road. So all this has been happening in three weeks, right? So I left Mexico, came back, didn't know my ribs were broken. I flew to Salt Lake City to do Wise Guys, having no idea that my ribs were broken. Jesus. Come back, find out my ribs are broken,

I said, well, that's the reason why I haven't been able to sleep. I get it. So then I come back. I do Omaha. I was supposed to have the surgery that week. Didn't have it. Came back that Monday, had the surgery. Rested Tuesday. Got on the plane to go do Atlanta, California.

Wednesday and Thursday. Then went from there to Madison, Wisconsin. Comedy Estates was a great club. Great club. Spoiled, right? Oh, so spoiled. And then I came back home. God, dude. How's your pain right now? Because it's probably...

too high now because i won't take the medication yeah because i don't want to be on opioids it's it's a thing with me it's one of them things i get spooked it's like i've taken maybe they i have maybe 30 pills yeah 40 pills where are they now in the backpack that's cool bring them out but let's fucking see what they look like i only have taken like four this whole time

when I was in Mexico oh man Mexico has a phenomenal system because when he came in and brought me the prescription you're gonna need anti-inflammatories and painkillers so

I said, what did I get to feel that? He said, I'll take that and be right back. Walked out and came right back with the medication. Yeah. I was like. It's incredible. Oh, okay. You can just walk in and be like, I want this. And they're like, okay. Yeah. Yeah. And so I was taking that for a little bit. And then I was like, nah, I'm cool on these pills, man. So I just, after the surgery, I've taken maybe two pills after the surgery. And yeah.

two pills before. I can't do it. I think you're, I mean, it's better off, man. I had a... Unless you're in excruciating pain. A nerve blocker. Uh-huh. Oh, this was the scariest experience because my arm was totally dead. Like, they just shut my arm off. Yeah. All the nerves, right? They do a sonogram, put right in your nerve.

And then I'm trying to go to the restroom. So I set my arm on my chair. I took the sling off because I'm going to take a shower. I set my chair. I'm like, okay, it'll be fine. I tried to open the door and my arm fell off my chest. And the weight of it turned me around because I didn't want to rip nothing. I was like, oh. I was like, man. Freaky. It was. I just. The problem is when you.

I don't have any lotion on this shoulder. Like, I just, this bothers me so much. It's like I can't lotion my shoulder. And I was at a restaurant, I came in, we went to the restaurant, and I'm like, yo, this is like,

A seven minute trip. We should have been in and out. It's like seven minutes now. No, it's like these things when they happen, I think also like at our age, it does remind you of like your mortality. It does humble you. It does make you like grateful for it. You're like, yeah, I take all this shit for granted. Like moving around normally and stuff. You know what I mean? So spooked though. Yeah, it spooks you out too. And since the surgery, you know, they'll tell you, well, you got to do this because you develop a blood clot or whatever. So-

As I'm performing, just had the surgery, Wednesday or Thursday, my friend, Beat King, passed. And they say it's from a blood clot. It just came out his leg up to his heart. During the interview, shortness of breath. On stage, and my breath gets short, and this tightens up.

on me like real really bad but i keep forgetting my ribs are broken yeah and it's nothing they can do they got a hill on their own yeah that's the crazy thing about ribs they're just like just take a i don't know rest walk around you're fine as long as it's not punching your lungs and then they give you these things you know you know um to shatter your ribs you know what it would take you know you're gonna be fine it would take a lot your ribs are really really sturdy it would take a car to run into you to shatter your ribs i'm like jesus

Well, ma'am, the wave did a pretty good job. But you got to understand it's a wave. And I don't know how big it was, but the wave water is a force. So...

I'm breathing. It tightened up in my back. And my mind is like, you have a blood clot. You're about to die in front of all these people. And I'm like, just let me make it through this story. Let me make it through the end of the story. Yeah. You ever think about, do you ever follow that when an NFL quarterbacks get their ribs fucked up and bruised or broken, and then they're like, yeah, just put on this rib protector and go play. And you're like, what the fuck?

with a defensive end just flying at them and you're like you're good with this and they're like I guess I guess I don't think I think football players are different a totally different animal yeah like rugby right rugby to me is way harder than just professional football it's a crazy sport because you run into people a lot but I don't think you run into as much as football but

Pads, no pads. No pads. Yeah. And this is how I grew up playing football with no pads, but I was young. Yeah. You know, I was, when they gave me pads, I was like a insane person. Like, oh, I can hit you with all this and I don't have to hurt myself. Yeah. Oh,

But football players are different. Ronnie Lott. To me, Ronnie Lott is like a real football player. Just cut it off. Put it in the cooler. Sew it back on after the game. I'm like... Just missing that pinky. I'm like, nah, Ronnie. They're like, it got caught in someone's helmet. And he was like, cut that shit off. I'm like, nah, Ronnie. Like, nah.

done. Send me to the locker room and shoot me up with everything. And he played in the era where they were like, when you were like, hey, protect the player. They were like, protect the player? What are you talking about? I'm just going to put the crown on my head into his chest plate and see if I live and he lives. Every play was like a paralysis play. Clotheslining people. Remember we used to look at football and nobody had teeth. Yeah. So we go out there, I'm like...

He has no mouth. Yeah, and their equipment sucked, too, compared to what they have today. Those guys had like the sandpaper in their shoulders. Nothing, man. Hey, put my shirt in. Put me on two shirts and put my pants on. Absolute animals. Could you imagine playing the leather helmet era? Who's that guy? Jack Tatum. Was that his name? Was it Tatum? Look him up. Is it this dude?

Yeah. Dude, Jack Tatum. Oh. Look at that. Look at that face, man. That's not a... Oh, he played for the Raiders. That's the nicest he's ever looked in a photo, too. That's him smiling. Yeah, that's a smile for Jack Tatum. He was like... Yeah. He was like, oh, you look great, man. Yeah. You look like a friendly guy today.

This dude's a lunatic. Man. All those guys. Atwater was crazy. Atwater was totally crazy. Dick Buckus, when you see him. Oh, Dick Buckus was insane. Total crazy person. Yeah, I mean, in his playing days. Yeah, dude. This guy. When you see him there with the finger up.

That was an era where like, he probably ended someone's career that game. Definitely. It's like, it pointed at him. Yeah, you're through. Yeah. They would do things, you could see them like in the highlights where they were, as they're tackling them, they're like twisting helmets. Like they're trying to hurt each other, you know? Yeah. That era is, the leather helmet era, even crazier. Yeah. That's like the steel curtain. Those guys. Yeah. And it was a,

man, then you had the guys like the samurai, you know? Yeah. I know there's like, there are just different men. Yeah. Right. Like I just, so like the,

That era, in that time, it was a samurai or some warrior. Or the Colosseum people in Rome. They're like, yeah, fucking lions are coming at you or whatever. And then you just, it evolves. Today, it's probably the craziest person is probably an MMA fighter, right? Like the UFC guys, they're fucking out of their minds. Yeah. Fighting to the, you know, close to the death. Yeah.

Getting elbows to the fucking face. And then they're like, I'm going to kick you as hard as I can in your face several times. And you're like, oh, okay. I mean, like, half the highlights that I watch...

from UFC you're like you know part of you is like oh man this guy's so skilled he's his you know his training is obviously he's super dedicated he's super disciplined but the brutality of it you know you know he's like seeing a dude take a knee to the face and just ha and it's fucking I mean it's just and you know he has severe brain damage I'm glad his mouth was closed when he did it because that tongue is gone it's

It's gone. It's gone. And then they put him on the mic and he's like, I just want one more shot. And you're like, fuck, man. I just want to do it one more time. One more time. Rematch. I think that this is pretty close. Like comedy with me is pretty close to that. Like I don't think nothing has ever stopped me from getting on stage. Yeah. The big guy out there has set me on a chair forever.

because my ankle is fractured and I'm still on stage. Or I have a 104 fever and I'm still going. I'm like, yo, J, just give me time. Once I get to the stage, it's some sort of medicine for me. The only reason I tell people what's going on with the arm is because they won't let me get around it. They want to hear the story about it. Of course, of course. I would get on stage and totally talk about something else. Yeah.

Welcome to Scam Town. It's a place where the true crime is stranger than fiction and the stories are filled with quirks and moral ambiguity. From James Lee Hernandez and Brian Lasarte, the filmmakers behind McMillions and The Big Con, Scam Town takes you through stories ranging from the strange to the unbelievable. Wild scams.

Church's Original Recipe is back. You can never go wrong with original.

Still tastes the same like back in the day. Right now, get two pieces of chicken starting at only $2.99 or 10 pieces starting at only $10.99. Churches. Offer valid at participating locations. You know, I was on Joy Diaz's podcast. I had just broken my hand in a brawl in Houston in the comedy club, right? And the people that was at the brawl was like, yo, we see why, like,

he was okay in prison. Like, we really can see it now. Like, regardless of the stories, like, no, we really see how he was. And I'm, my shoulder got dislocated. I broke my, I broke my hand. And when I get there, right, I'm, emergency room. So they come in, they keep asking me about my thumb.

Like, it's clear that these fingers are smashed down. But they keep asking for my thumb. I'm like, I said, man, nothing's wrong with my thumb. He's like, can you move your thumb? I'm like, yeah, I can move my thumb. He's like, sir, you can move your thumb. I'm like, yes. So the man put the x-rays up of my hand. He says, you should not be able to move your thumb. Your thumb is broken in like four places. And I'm like, oh, okay. I never knew nothing's wrong with my thumb. But my thumb...

was broken for like a month prior to that. Whoa. And it was, it was, it was insane. Yeah. And I had no idea. I knew it. I thought I jammed it real bad, but I didn't know it was broken at the base. Right. So I get to the hand specialist, hand specialist comes in. He's like, I hear that you can move your thumb. And I'm like, yes, I can move my thumb. Yeah. He's like,

You should make me move your thumb. Like, I'm dead. He say, regardless of what you saying, you should not be able to move your thumb. Another specialist came in because he wanted him to see it. He was like, he said he can move his thumb. And I'm like, yo, I can move his thumb. You want to do it? I declare war because I'm ready. It's like, sir, your thumb is dead.

It's crazy. So they put my hand back together. So you can see my thumb is in perfectly working condition. It's these fingers that slumped down. That's crazy. I think they were so focused on my thumb that they didn't fix these right. But they did a good job, though. Jesus. It's like, you can see. Was the brawl during a show or after? Yeah, it was crazy. Recently? Semi-recently? Nah, it was, let's see. We're going to say...

2020, 2020. Oh, yeah. It's not that long ago, though. It was before the pandemic. So you're just doing a show? Doing a show. And this guy comes to the stage. And I just asked. I said, yo, it was some guys sitting at a table, like six. Yeah. It's a room. It's not a comedy club. I said, hey, man, some ladies standing up. Y'all should just let them sit down. Be boy, girl, boy, girl.

And dude said, you better go on with that. I'm like, what are you talking about? I'm not saying anything that's not proper. So the dude walk up to the stage and said, man, I'll slap you. And I was like, what? I said, I just want to know, what am I supposed to be doing when you're slapping me? Like, what am I supposed to be doing? Is this a movie? I'm supposed to just be doing like this while you're slapping me? I said, man, go sit down if something happened to you, bro. Go on, sit down. Are you heard what I said? I'll slap you.

And I said, not with that hairline you won't. And everybody started laughing. And I'm laughing too. So I turned this way. When I turned back, I don't know if he sat there and just doing this, trying to get all the spit in his mouth he could. But when he spit at me, it was like a glob. And I couldn't move at the time. I'm like that. And the button was pushed in me. I don't care that you're 6'4". I don't care what size you are. You just spit on me. And I'm going to show you why that was a bad idea.

It got so bad for him, his friends tried to help him. So it was four on one. And long story short, not to just give them any praise, they filed a lawsuit against me after that because of the punishment that

for spitting on me. I'm like, are y'all losing y'all mind? And it was bad for them. It was a really bad scene because the ambulance came. I drove myself to the hospital. For the hand? Yeah, for the hand. And I got to the hospital and it's always a cop in the emergency room. I get there. I know my shoulder's messed up. My hand. I go in there. I'm like, yo, I need to see a doctor. I fell. And as soon as I said it, the cop

And the nurse said, well, how did you fall? And I'm looking at the cop. I'm like, I was skateboarding at night. And I'm like, yeah, that's the best I can do. Nobody's out there. It's a new board. The cop said, so we went to your truck right now. There's a skateboard in your truck. I said, for sure. For sure. I said, we can walk out there now. I would drive a red Ford F-150, walk right out there, and my board is right in the back.

Because I skate and my board is always in my truck. That wasn't what happened, but my board is, that skateboard is always in my truck. So if it ever break down, I just jump on the board and I just get to the next place. I can skate. So it's like, I was really confident about this one. You turn, I'm good. Man, got my hands seen. And then I find out my attorney, Stan Broussard, called me and said, hey, I'm down here at the courthouse. They just issued a warrant for your arrest.

I said, what? He said, did you have a fight? Because you have an assault charge. I was like, what? You know how mad I was that I found out it was them guys that filed an assault on me? And I'm like, yo, what type of chicken nonsense is this? We get in a street fight and you lose and you file assault. Okay. So I beat the case.

Because of the footage. I was going to say, there's like, and you've got witnesses everywhere because of the footage. And, and I always say this, man, I think white women for this, for me beating that case, white women has spit on so many cops. Yeah. That they made an assault to spit on people. The first assault was in spitting. Yeah. And then I never left the stage.

They got tore up in that club and I was on stage. I never left the stage because they kept jumping up on the stage, which is stupid. Yeah. Because you're jumping into me. I'm like, okay. And it was a melee in there, but it was people that were like, they was filming and plus we had cameras and the club had put in cameras.

So when we presented the evidence, I have this started. You know what they said? This is what they say it out there face. This is what they said that I did. The day was complimenting me.

I jumped down off the stage, came to their table and said, what are y'all? Like I started. Yeah. Oh, man. I mean, that goes away as soon as you look at the footage. Oh, as soon as man Stan ate live. So the case gets dropped. And then do they still try to file a civil suit like to get my eye? The judge asked me, do I want to file a counter suit? Oh, and I said an open court.

I said, nah, they've been through enough because they still going through therapy. Yeah. Yeah. They're still going through therapy. Yeah. Cause it was, I administered a lot of punishment. Yeah. A lot of punishment. They, well, people had to get stapled, things stapled and using braces and your jaw had to get put back together. Like I was in there. Like fuck these guys up. Cause it's, they don't understand. I am a guy that was in prison since I was 19.

Hey, I am a very different type of situation. Like, bro, you don't have enough people to deal with me. Like, at all. Because if you think any of this is going to be on the level, are you insane? Yeah. Do you want me to bite you in the middle of your thigh? Like, I'm like... Like, I am a savage man. Like, I have no respect for you. Yeah. And then what you are wrong in this thing is you thinking that this is a fight. Yeah. No, sir. Because you...

Trying to do something to me, sir, I'm doing my best to make sure that you're not breathing anymore. Like I'm doing my absolute best. Yeah. And you're going, bro, I don't even understand. Quit. I don't even, if I would, if I would have saw them on a stretcher getting put in, I would have ran them over with my truck. Yeah.

I'm like, yo, I'm so upset that you, because I'm 50. I've never started a fight in my life. I've never started a fight. Been in a lot of them, never started one. And then a Napoleon complex bull crap. Okay, so what happened was you saw that you were bigger than me. And then you thought that because you were bigger than me, that you were going to dominate me. How is that me having a Napoleon complex? Maybe you have a big person complex. Maybe you have that.

man, I'm not doing that. And then the era where comics, it was the era where comics were getting jumped on. And I was like, not over here, sir. Not this way. And so if you jump on stage with me now, I guarantee...

that you're not going to leave that stage. Because I have something on me at all times. All times. It ain't one time that you'll see me on nobody's stage that I don't have anything on me. If you jump up there and it's very accessible and I don't mind, like I have no type of

mind and my spirit. Like, because you're, like, why are you up here? Yeah, they're threatening you. I mean, come on. It's like you coming into my house. Yeah. You break into my house, oh, bro, bro. Yeah. It's our type of... I know a guy, so a friend of mine is a, was a Navy SEAL and, you know, he's

serious individual with extensive training. And he happened to be out of town. So he was not home. And a meth head broke into his house and just tore the place. It was just crazy. But all we could talk about was the luck of this meth head. The luck. Because what happens is most people go...

Someone breaks into my house, you know, I'm going to take care of business. And you're like, yeah, you, most people, you go, you think you're going to take care of business, but most people, you know, it's natural. They, they, they, they don't have the experience. They, you know, the, the, the nerves take over for a lot of things.

But you're like, like the guy, a lot of comics would be like, so come on my stage and I'll take care of it. And like some of them can, but a lot of them probably wouldn't, you know? But this fucking meth head, it's like, dude, you're the luckiest meth head that you broke into this place without this guy home. Because if there's somebody, this guy's seen combat, I don't know how many fucking times, who wouldn't have, he wouldn't have blinked an eye to...

end the threat in his home and we're just like that guy he'll never know how lucky he is you know the cops ended up coming taking the guy away and this guy my friend was just not home but it's like imagine if that same guy would have broken to my sister's house which is another navy person yeah and her husband is a retired lieutenant colonel that's been to war six times yeah i know that for a fact she has six kids by him it's different

those two people together is a different situation. Those two people are bad. People is different. Yeah. My sister, I knew my sister was different before she even went to the military. My sister literally genius graduated from one of the highest decorated high schools could have went to any Ivy league college. And she said, no, going to the Navy for some special ops thing that she never talks to me about.

came home and my sister could do 200 push-ups god damn straight and i was like wow the game has changed yeah my sister came home and he was she was my sister looked like a problem when she came home from basic training i was like yo i don't know my mom my mom like i don't think you should yell at her about none of the dishes i do the dishes yeah my sister looks like serious business yeah there's this

I mean, people who have been in the military and like who have combat experience, that's a, that's also one of those things. It's like, it's a different animal. It's a different mindset. You can't, nobody who hasn't can really relate to it. It's like hunting. Yeah. You don't know what you can do until you actually do it. Yeah. And you in it. Like, you know, it's one of those, those things like with this, I wasn't going to let myself drown. Yeah.

Like I knew I wasn't, you know, because I can swim really, really good. But it's the fact that even when I'm hurt, it went right to the, if I was further out, it went right. When you first learn to swim, being on a swim team, you learn to swim with one arm. You learn to swim with the kickboard, with just your feet, where your arms got to be to the side. All of this stuff comes into your mind when you're actually doing something. And the reason why we were getting out at that time

because how you die in the ocean is from exhaustion. You know, my son was looking like he was tired because we was out there for a while. And I was like, yo, let's just go into the pool. You know, just sit by the pool for a minute. And that's how we ended up coming in. And I'm still like, man, if...

I can imagine if I couldn't swim in a wave. Scary. Ocean can be terrifying too. I mean, I remember I was swimming in the ocean. We were staying on a beachfront place for like a month. And this is like two summers ago, I think, one summer ago. And it became my routine that I would go out in the morning and I would enter the ocean and then just swim down and then exit. And man, a few times...

I would wear like a sun protective shirt, you know, like one of those. Oh, yeah, okay. But they start to weigh on you. They feel heavy. And I would do it without... Like some people do that swim with paddles because like you can propel yourself more. And there was times where like just the ocean just pulls you a little in this way. And you feel like hints of panic. Like, am I getting...

pull down right now you know it's just like it's a flash of panic and you're like you gotta like tell yourself don't panic like it's like a like a message to yourself because you can feel it

you know, and then maybe a wave hits you once, you know, not like the way it hit you, but just where you get hit down and you're like, and I remember just being like, maybe I should fucking try to swim to shore right now, you know, cause I'm not that far out. Far enough. But then the thing that you said happens is like, you're like, Oh wow. I feel like I'm fighting this current. And then your fatigue starts to raise. So you're like, Oh, so then you have to coach yourself. Like, Hey,

don't exhaust yourself to try to fight this current right now. All this is happening at the same time, you know? And I remember a couple of times finishing that swim and getting out and being like,

You know, maybe I should go with someone. Like, maybe I should, like, bring a fucking friend to do this. And you're a freestyler, right? Yeah, but, like, you kind of get out and you're like... You look back at the ocean and you're like, I wasn't out that crazy far. I wasn't doing something so crazy. But you realize how vulnerable you are to whatever the fuck happens there. And being alone is how people lose their life or get in big trouble there. It's just...

Point of reference. Wrong stroke for the ocean. Yeah. Breaststroke. I always breaststroke in the ocean. Breaststroke. That'll calm you. That'll always calm you because you're going kind of like with the current. Right. And the thing what throws you off is when you see how far you are and you know, like, I don't think I was that far out. Yeah, yeah. And like your...

what is it called? Distance, like have your range of distance. You like, but when you breaststroke it, it's like you can control it. Like you see everything. Freestyling is,

In the ocean. Oh, sorry. I was breaststroke. I thought you meant... You were breaststroke. Yes, I was breaststroke. Oh, you were definitely in panic mode. Yeah, I was panicking. Yeah, you was panicking. I was panicking. Because if you can see and you up and down the current, but it's your shirt, it's all these things. If something would have touched you, you would have fucking lost it. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, it was happening. You see me, you're on your feet. You're looking at me, you're stroking real hard. You're like, yo, man, because my son...

My son is like, yo, dad, look at that stingray. Stingrays jumping out of the water, right? Yeah. And this is his mind. He thought this was cool. So we out. Stingrays are jumping. And he said, dad, look at those stingrays. Sharks have to be out there because the stingrays are jumping out of the water. I'm like, yeah, let's go in, though. You mean sharks have to be out there? Yeah, let's go in. He's into all that. He loves it. Yo, they are jumping because sharks. I say, son, they're not that far away from us. Yeah.

no they're not and by the way they can get here real quick whatever whatever's chasing them we're right son there's no floor yeah there's no oh I can look and I made him keep his goggles on and I said man I want you to be can you look under the water can you look he's like not really I said so stop saying shark shit stop saying shark shit out there chill with the shark let's go do some sand shit right now uh

I wanted to ask you this before it wraps up. When did it occur to you to embark on this journey?

this epic thing that you're doing in standup of, I'm going to do multi-part, you know, long form. But like, how did the idea come to you? We did domino effect at a great response. This is part one, part one. And so just to, I get is, does part one, I'm assuming is this like childhood, like building. Okay. So it is 1983. Okay. I'm 10. Okay. And, um, so when, when we finished with the first one,

People started asking me, yo, what happened after that? I was like, what? Like, what happened? Like, you stopped at a certain point. Like, what happened? I'm like, oh, okay. So we did two. And two got a huge response because two is different. Like, when you look at all four together, but two is different. Two is like, I still say, man, I should have won an Emmy for two.

I should have won for four. Oh, I believe you. From what I saw, I mean, it really is. It's captivating. It's fantastic. When you're doing two, do you go, I'm going to do, like you already know, three, four, or is this just- I know three or four are coming. You know they're coming. Yeah, because we stopping at, I'm stopping at,

a certain point because I know that this is, this needs to be in three, you know? So three is my favorite. Okay. It is, it is absolutely my favorite. I've watched three recently and it's one of these things I can't really watch myself, but three is so funny to me because where I was at,

And three, can give people an understanding about why I was so juvenile in Mexican on Boots. Yeah. Yeah, yeah. Because now you can see the connection. Like, okay, he's definitely oblivious to what's going on. That's why he was so oblivious when they said, Mexican on Boots. Like, he's not connected yet. I remember when I first heard that. It's so funny, dude.

Dude. None of it. Basically, just to give some insight, that obviously there's all these words and terms and expressions that mean nothing to a civilian, right? And so when you're first in and somebody says something as seemingly benign as Mexicans got on boots, and you're like, what the fuck is that supposed to mean?

Everybody here has on boots. And then you're like, you learn that, that, that means something very significant. Yes. That you, this is something that you actually need to know. And this is observation. Like I've been, I thought my observation was keen when I was on the street, but this really made me different. That's why three is called the first day of school because everything I've learned in the streets, everything I've learned in the home,

this is where all of these things going to have to merge and I'm going to have to apply these skills to survive, like this is a, this is a, I don't have to try to figure out who's the danger. Everybody is the danger outside of myself and how I respond to things and how I prepare for things in here is based upon how I'm living here for the rest of, for my 15 years that I'm in here. So I,

it's nothing that you could prepare for and I think that three kind of gives this glimpse of how dangerous this is going to get and how still I am very it's stuff going over my head still I'm like yo this is I mean in three this guy says that he's about to slap me and I have no idea that he's talking to me like I'm I'm so oblivious like because he's saying that I slapped his sister

He's making a problem with me. And I'm like, what? And he said, because when he says it, he's in the cell. I'm in the Sally port. And he said, yeah, when you get in here with your sister slapping ass.

And so I look down the hallway because there's other people in the hallway. I'm like, yo, who is this guy that slapped his man sister? Like, I'm like, I'm so, it's so in my head. And this is the moment you like, you can go back and like, this is, this is Mexico got on boots. This is definitely where his mindset was because he is not a prison person at this point. He's like, he's a guy who's just in here. Oh, I guess somebody slapped his man sister. Yeah. And he's like, will you come in this cell? I'm like,

I'm so oblivious. And then when I get in, once I figure out that they talking to me, I'm like, what? I've never slapped anybody's sister. Yeah. And I'm like, oh, so they trying to pick a fight with me. Oh, cool. And now I'm, well, I'm coming in there. Yeah. And when I get in there, you better have this same energy that you have when I'm on this side. So when I get in, I approached the dudes who was saying it and he was like,

You're like, you really want to fight? I'm like, but you were saying all this stuff when I was outside. He's like, man, I ain't got nothing else to do. I have nothing else to do. So he's like, I'm just jazzing with you. That is kind of like, that is a heavy statement to think about. The part of I got nothing else to do. It's like,

I have nothing else to do. I'm going to bother you. And I remember when they used to bring, and I don't really tell this story a lot, but they used to bring the kids to the prison, right? And the officers knew I was insane. They're like, yo, he is a nutcase. Ali, we about to bring the kids through. I said, what? Because it's like scared straight. Oh, scared straight kids, yeah. They about to bring the kids to the prison. The best. And I was like, cool.

And I wake my celly up. I'm like, yo, big man, they about to bring the kids through. He's like, word? He said, what are we doing, one or two? I said, let's do one. And I'm like, how much time? See how much time I got? He's like, 10 minutes. Now, we just at the scene. I'm all oiled up, gloves on, and I'm standing at the bar, standing right at the bar. My celly, my celly seat, big C. Big C is like,

Maybe 6, 6'7", maybe about 285. They're comfortable with the kids, and I'm still at the bars.

And I'm like this, I'm standing in the box. So yeah, young troublemakers. You know what I'm saying? Just know when you come in here, it's on baby. You know what I'm saying? You know what I'm saying? Yeah, I'm taking everything. And I'm at these bars greased up and this huge dude is in the back with the sheets pulled up talking about, and he'll do it. And he'll do it. The kid's like,

oh my goodness it's a little one taking the big one oh shit them kids like yo I don't you would see them go down and they do not want because they gotta walk the whole run they don't want to come back and I'm standing at them bars see but we laughing but you also changed some kids lives with that you know what I mean you laughed but they laughed they're like I'm gonna start going to school I'm gonna start doing my shit oh look

All me and Steve, like, maybe we'll be doing one or two. I'm like, we are insane. There's nothing better than Scared Straight. Oh, my goodness. The original. Yeah, the original was crazy. The original. Well, there's an original original that was... Yeah, the original original. The one I saw. Yeah, the one... Yeah, and then...

There was one other one that aired one time that I became obsessed with, which was Scared Straight 99. And then there was other shit after that that was bullshit. But 99... Was the dude who said that he was going to eat your salad? That dude, the guy who was like, he was like, hold my pocket! And made the kids walk holding the pocket. Those guys...

Dude, when he was telling some kid to apologize and he was like, and as he was saying apologize, he was spitting. Like, incidental spit. Not like, but like, you know when someone talks fast and spit? He's like, I know you don't like this shit. You're calling kids fags. It was unhinged. It was unhinged. But you saw that all the kids that came in with bravado were like,

Like it, it did have the effect. They were like, I cannot come back here. It was, it was effective. By the way, do you know that? Like I, I've heard other parents say this. I have two boys and there's six and eight are just like obsessed with like what's going on in prison and jail. Like it is, I come home and my sister's at the house right now and she's like, so are you putting the boys down tonight? I go, yeah, I just got in. She was like, so last night we covered a jail.

prison and then my six-year-old goes and federal prison and i go yeah that's good that we have the distinction of the three different things and and their questions are endless i guess it makes sense because i know like when you know when your little boys usually like are like cops fire trucks right and then there you go like you know cops put bad guy in jail so then they go what's jail

And then you go, well, you know, this jail is where you go and they lock you. And then they're like for years. And then you're like, well, you know, that's like prison. What's prison? And then they're like now they're like, and what sound does it make when the cell closes? I'm like the fucking sound. I go, I don't know. It's metal clanking. And they're like, can you play it? I have to look up sound.

of a metal playing. And then they're like, what do you eat? I'm like, whatever they give you. When do you eat? I go, when they fucking tell you. And then they're like, what about showers? What about going outside? And I'm like, yeah, can you just put on a fucking documentary? This is all covered, but it's just, it is endless. And then they're like, who's in your cell? I'm like a guy that also did some shit. And they're like, is he your friend? I'm like, you better fucking hope so. But it just is endless.

It's endless, man. They have so much curiosity. And it stops me from getting upset with interviewers when the first thing they want to ask me about is prison. Because I actually designed my career not to ever...

I'd never talked about prison until Mexicana Boots. Yeah. I'd been doing stand-up like 17 years. At that point? Yeah. I'd been doing stand-up since 1998. Wow. Really December 97, but it turned 98.

I got out in October 21st of 1997. Oh, so you went right to it. I went right to it. I'm on Comic View 18 months after I'm released. No shit. Yeah, I quit my job and everything in 1999. I mean, I assume the answer is yes, but do you have any...

I don't know, like inkling that this is something to pursue? Like, do you know what I mean? Like, you're in prison. So do you just know because you're good at communicating and storytelling? I'm in prison. This is what I was. I was the jovial, sarcastic guy. Yeah, I see that. That would sit there and be like, so that's what y'all about to do? Yeah, yeah, yeah. I said, let me tell you. I just want to ask. Y'all about to fight, right? I just want to know something.

who's willing to lose two fights today yeah and they like I don't know I said well hey hey don't be mad at me yeah one of y'all are gonna lose somebody's gonna lose and then the COs are gonna come in and beat the shit out of both of y'all so somebody has two losses two losses and it's like so you're also kind of the logic guy I'm the I'm the like yo man like what are we doing

And did you love comedy? Were you like a comedy fan? I loved comedy before. Yeah, that's what I'm saying. From what I had, you know, I'm 19. Like I went to, I'm locked up like four days after I turned 19. Right. My birthday is October 17th. October 21st, I'm locked up. Who's big when you get locked up? Like who's the big comics? Def Jam had,

been out. Okay. And it was, it was no, actually one person at that time. It was everybody. The scene. It's the, it's, I'm a, I'm comedy from like Carol Burnett and like, I'm watching all of them growing up. Yeah. Cause like when people say my first, my first introduction to comedy was this. My first introduction to comedy was fucking Carol Burnett. I wasn't listening to no Richie Pryde album at that time. She was fantastic. She was fantastic. Police Academy. Yeah. All the,

the airplane. Like all this shit is hysterical to me as a kid. So I'm not, oh, I found Richard Pryor. The first thing I ever listened to from Richard Pryor was Blacksmith. That was the album that my dad had, right? But I had also heard Don Rickles. I had also heard a Red Fox album. I had heard a lot of things and Sammy Davis Jr. was on the Jeffersons and I knew he was a entertainer. He was a comic, a dancer. So it was a lot of people that was funny to me

But the storytelling ability comes from my family. I've always, this is how you learn things. This is how you get told stories. Totally. This is what you get before punishment. That was the worst to get a story right before you finna get spanking. Yeah. So let me tell you why this is this.

I don't give a damn. Let me amuse you real quick and then I'll hurt you. Okay. My grandmother, you know, let me tell you why. You don't know why I whoop your ass? Because Mike, 19, 19, shit. What was it? 42, 43. Like, like,

I don't, I don't. So I have to get a documentary. So this was the, the thing. So telling a story just comes from my family. The series comes from people asking what happened next. Yeah. I don't want to tip because you haven't seen two. I know I was, I haven't seen anything before two. This is what my thing is about too. I didn't know how much it would heal other people.

from the prison that they were in with what I spoke about. And it released a lot of people. And that was the reward for me. It's all walks of life. It's all colors. When somebody comes to me and says, yo, man, for real, I watched Domino Effect 2. My family healed because of this. Because it was something that you talked about and you went so deep into it

that we healed because we had never discussed that same exact situation. And it just goes on. It's like it's swept under the rug, but it's so poignant in how you conduct the rest of your life. It was a major turning point. I mean, it's inspiring for someone, I'm sure, too. I skimmed some comments on 4, and I saw a lot of people being like,

you know, man, I did time and blah. And they're like, this was such an experience for me. Cause like I, it brought back my memories. It made me cry at times. It made me laugh. Like so many people connecting with the story, you know? Cause like most people obviously who serve time, um,

aren't going to have a voice or a platform to share that. And it's like, whatever it is, even not about assigning culpability, that's traumatic. It is a traumatic experience. You know, whether you want, like there is a trauma to being incarcerated. Yeah. And so most people who get out and probably most of them never see or hear a story unless they're just like, you know, having lunch with someone talking about it, but like to see it, a performance, um,

that tells the whole story. I'm sure it really does help. Be like, oh, somebody else can really connect with me on this. Because it would be like with me. It's the things that you cannot...

see it's the scars that you can't see yeah you know like all the stuff that people talk to me about about prison sometimes you get really irritated when people like well did you use comedy protect yourself like man do you know how fucking crazy i am like bro yeah i don't need no damn and and i welcomed whatever challenge somebody wanted like do you see my face like do i look like somebody can run over me dude like that's me a real fucking question yeah and

And don't ask me some shit that you saw on a movie on House Party because Richard Pryor never been to prison. Yeah, just I keep saying it every part. Richard Pryor has never been to prison. So get that stupid shot. You're here using comedy to say something. But they don't never get to the point where they understand, you know, that I haven't went into a restroom and not turned on water.

So I could hear noise in order to use the restroom. I've been out about to be 27 years. And that still is. And I still have not done it. I've never been in a restroom and it's totally quiet, even in my house. I still turn on water. I still turn on the fan. I got to hear some type of noise. And that's how crazy that place is. I was using the restroom quietly for 19 years.

Without any type of noise. The prison was there for six years. Cannot use the restroom without noise. We on year 27. That's wild. That's the unhitting. Those are the hidden scars. Yeah. Like the hidden scars is like, man, if you in front of me talking crazy, I'm not saying that to you because I am plotting your death. Yeah. Because I'm like, what are we doing? I haven't even thought about a fight here because I know.

In this place, I never thought about it. Because I'm like, yo, this is all life-like shit. Like, nothing registers to me the same. It's like going to war, coming back. Yo, you want to get your ass whooped. Them people on the side of the street that be wanting to do your windows. Some of them are veterans. It's disheartening that a lot of our veterans are on the street. You know what I'm saying? Homeless.

Our homeless population is, it's a lot of veterans in there. It's a lot. I've seen somebody get their ass towed up disrespecting that man at the thing. He just said, man, I'm going to wash your window. And the person flipped out. He flipped out and have grabbed them out of the car and mangling them, not even punching them, just slamming them around in their window. And I was like,

Crazy. He go $10, bruh. Remember my face, psycho man. I'm a good guy. I want to keep talking. I have to pee really bad. I'll be right back. You're Texan, right? Yeah, Houston. You still live there? Yeah, I still live right down the street. Two hours. I'm never moving from here. We was a gym that nobody knew about. We was like, yo. And

I think people don't understand how segregated the cities are. Yeah. Like, we're like, well, Austin, like, fucking Houston. We don't give a fuck about Austin. Yeah. Never have. Super, super, yeah. It's like, Austin's a... Houston's a wild place to me. Yeah. Like, that's a wild city. Big as fuck. People, I don't think people understand, some people don't understand, like, bumping Houston is. Yeah, Houston is insane. It's an insane city. It's...

You could live there and I could never see you ever. Oh, yeah. 100%. This city is very manageable. You know what I mean? Austin is very manageable. Austin, San Antonio. Easy to get around. Very easy. Houston is so big that it's places that are Houston that put you 45 minutes away from Austin. Wow. It's still Houston.

Yeah, that's, I get, I mean, there's, there's like feelings you get in certain cities where you're like, at times you feel like overwhelmed by like what, you know, the city. And I've felt that in Houston at times where I'm like, it's just like, holy shit, like.

you know, LA, I lived in LA 19 years. And at times you're just like, man, this is a, you know, it's just so spread out. So massive. And you know, you, you drive an hour and you're still, you know, you move six miles and that's kind of like Houston kind of feels like to me too. The reason why LA is like that, because LA people can't drive like at fucking all, like, I don't understand the type of space that they put in between cars. Like it,

In the rule book, it say like one car. It's like 14 cars. And like, which makes it, I'm like, I've been here. I'm like, yo, this traffic, it's not traffic. It's no traffic. Cars, the LA conditions you to, to shit. Cause cities will condition you like any environment. And like in New York, it's funny cause you're in New York and someone's like, Hey, meet me for lunch down here. And you're like, all right. And you just walk out of your hotel and you walk around.

20 blocks without thinking about it. You're just like, oh yeah, I'm on 41st. And you just kind of keep walking. And in LA, you realize it infects your brain. They're like, meet me on the next block. And you get in your car.

You're just like, and you drive, you just drove like a hundred yards and you're like, the fuck am I doing? It's like, it doesn't even occur to you till after that. Like people don't walk to shit in LA, nothing like they don't walk. They, they won't walk like three blocks. A lot of times people get in their cars to do everything. So it's just like this over congestion. There's 50 million cars in LA. Now, of course you need it because things are very spread out, but you don't need it

for every trip that you make. For everything. Like Austin, people walk in Austin. It's a walking city, for sure. It's a walking city. People ride bikes here. It's an active city. I always feel like this city makes you feel like a fat piece of shit all the time because all you see everywhere are shirtless dudes running and biking and you're just like, all right, I'll fucking...

I got to do the work. Kayaking. Yeah, it's so active. You're doing so much, man. Just fucking chill out. Houston is the, you know, we know it is the fattest city. Yeah. Yeah, we got a lot of restaurants. Yeah, yeah. A lot of ranch. If you go, say if it's a woman, I've told my friends, my female friends, you want to move to Houston, cool.

lose 20 pounds. Like, lose it and then move. And then move here. Because you're a single woman and you're going to be dating. If you date any dude from Houston,

You're going to probably eat four times in one date. Damn. You're going to eat four times. It's an eating city. It's an eating... First of all, you're going to eat, but y'all going to stop by and have some drinks. You're going to have some food there. Then you're going to... They released the fattest cities in America list. And I think like four of the top 10 were in Texas. Yes. Yeah. They're like, oh yeah. Bunch of people just stuffing their faces down there. Like we big people. Yeah. And then you get there and you're like...

there's not a lot of people that's fattier. He's like, no, you haven't, you haven't. You need to explore a little more. But we, but the problem is they never say that they fat athletic.

When they're athletes, too. They add the people in and say, oh, he's a fast hit. But you have some big boys. We lead in football. Like, we produce football players. It's SEC, baby. Yeah, so you got to think. Yeah, it's a bunch of. Yeah, he 340, but he runs a 40. He runs a 5'2". 4 through 40. This fucking guy dance? Like, somebody's like 340, and they're just like.

doing this shit and you're like look at this fucking guy it's crazy he's like yo and then you got Katie so in Katie it's a bunch of fat white dudes that play football and you can't get and they got a dominating line and everybody's a draft pick I remember when one of my sisters went to Ole Miss and I'd never been there so I fly into Oxford and everywhere they went everywhere we went every meal they're like you want ranch dressing with that I was like with the fucking milkshake like it was just like ranch ranch ranch

Was like the offer for everything. So many things were like deep fried and ranch, but it just like felt like such a caloric excess. You know what I mean? Like everything was ranch. I hate ranch. Really? So much. Like I've never. What dressing do you choose? Oh, like for salad? Yeah. Oh, balsamic vinaigrette. Yeah. Or I'm going to go French dressing, thousand islands, something to that nature. But.

If I'm eating, like if I'm dipping wings or something, blue cheese all day. Yeah, yeah. That's the Joy Diaz famous line is, it's blue cheese with wings or go fuck your mother. Yeah, blue cheese, mustard on a fish sandwich. I don't really eat ketchup with my fries. Are you super anti-mayo also? No.

This feels like this is like this racial line where people are like, check out what the mayonnaise people are doing right now. And I'm like, what the fuck? It's a condiment. I didn't realize that many people hate mayonnaise. Turkey, a turkey sandwich. With mayo? With mayo. It has to be. Okay, thank you. That's all I wanted to hear. Why would you not put mayo on a turkey sandwich? I've heard people just be like, it's like this...

descriptor thing where it's like, but let me see. Let me guess. You like mayo and you're like, I mean, yeah, on certain things. I want a turkey sandwich for sure. Fantastic. Or a roasted chicken breast sandwich. You got to like mayo. Mayo. Now, salami, fried salami sandwich, mustard and mayo. Tuna sandwich. If you give me tuna sandwich,

And mustard and mayo not on there. You can keep that shit. Like, where's the mayo? I love it. So nothing's going to lubricate this goddamn sandwich? And then there's like, I never had like the French style. Essentially, it's Thousand Island. Thousand Island is basically ketchup and mayo. Yes. And that for like French fries, after I had that, I was like, this is the fucking greatest. Oh, man. Let me tell you. Decadent. We do food here. Like Texas, we do food.

Austin has a pretty good food scene. Pretty good food scene. Yeah. I mean, they can find a lot of shit. And if you can't find a restaurant, we got a truck for you. Yeah, that's right. Got a truck village. Like, it's street food. It's like, man, it's like being in Korea. When I was in Korea, it was like a lot of street food, a lot of places to eat. I'm like, yo, this is the fucking best. Do you have a favorite cuisine? Is there something that you've always...

you're drawn to the most? Ah, man. I eat a lot of food. Yeah? A lot of West Indian food, a lot of Thai food, a lot of Asian. Like, I eat a lot of food. Like, my palate, like, my children's palate, it's like a lot of food, a lot of vegetables, a lot of stuff. Like, I don't even know. We eat more things than people even know exist.

Yeah. Yeah, like we eat a lot, man. We eat a lot of things. Then I grow a lot of stuff. You do grow a lot of stuff? Oh, yeah. Man, I was heavy. I always been heavy into gardening. No shit. That's from my family. Like I was growing. Let me tell you, man. I was so, I was so, man, I hated when the pandemic was over. Like I just hated it. It was so nice to have you. Man, I was...

I didn't have to rely on anybody to tend my garden because I'm there and I'm just there. Now, I just got this new property, right? And the first thing I did, I started planting the food first. Peach trees, pear trees, two pecan trees already, grapes, limes, lemons, figs, berries, everything, right? The grapes take off first. So now it was abundance of grapes out there.

So I got people painting the house, structure people doing it. I've noticed, and I keep asking them, they be like, no, no, never touch the grapes. Then why are they missing? Like, there's so many grapes missing. And I know that they're eating these grapes. My friend come over, Jay Knapp, and he in the back, he's like, he's walking around, man, this is a nice property, man, he's doing good. And he's like, these grapes? I'm like, yeah. Seeded grapes, he grabbed them.

I walk around the front. I come back. He has a hand, like a bunch of grapes. He's like, yo, he's the best goddamn grapes I have. I'm like, I said, yeah, you're going to be able to, people are going to be able to come over here and just get pears and peaches. That's awesome. Like I'm into, I don't need no floral stuff outside. I need food. Food. And so if,

Like a homestead. And the food that you grow, I mean, what's better than that? Can't beat it, man. My okra had the sweetest seeds inside of it. It's just, I don't know. I think that the piece growing things and knowing about things and then going on stage and telling people like, yo, man, let me tell you, I watched some vegetable porn last night. Oh, these are people who like grow food. They know, understand. Like I watch corn growing. Corn is a very erotic thing.

To watch grow. Yeah. Cause corn, in order for corn to grow, it has to be close. So corn, they like, you got to plant corn tight cause they want to brush up because it's a real freaky vegetable. Yeah. And then the more, the tighter they are, the more they can bump up against each other. Yeah. Then boom, boom, you get great corn. Um, okra is like, get the fuck away from me. Yeah.

on top of me. Really? Like the plants be right next to each other. You see the thing like, you just, just talking about this reminds me that I haven't had like corn on the cob

I love fresh corn. You can throw it on a grill, some seasoning. I mean, I could just eat one after the other, man. You know, they have great street corn here. Yeah. Great street corn. Really? I should get some. Oh, man, they have great street corn. Guys, let's make a corn run. For sure. So when you're watching things and then you realize in nature, it gives you, with comedy, I want to be able to talk about soul,

many things. And when I come out, I'm telling a story and I start off by, let me tell you something. I'm in a war right now, like a real serious, serious, serious war. Like this is, but it's the slowest war I've ever been in. Like it's like, and I'm losing. Mm-hmm.

And we were like, what the fuck is he talking about? I'm like, yo, man, I'm trying to keep these goddamn snails off of my plants, right? And I'm booby trapping shit. I'm doing everything. They say do beer. They find their way. I'm putting salt all over this shit. And I'm still waking up. And I'm up at night. And I'm taking them off the thing. And then I go on this show. I'm watching this show. And these giant snails have attacked this orchard.

And they are up trying to save their apples and these snails are fucking doing their business. And they're huge. And so they just scraping all these snails off and this dude's like, this is crazy. And I'm like, but my story is dead on it. And so when you think about how much time can you possibly do

if you telling stories that people can relate to or some information that people don't even know about. Like my man was like, yo, man, I remember you first said that corn shit. I wouldn't look this up. I'm like, corn is a freaky ass vegetable. Yeah. Like,

I'm like, yeah. But he said, if you would have never told the story. Exactly. I would have never. It's my favorite type of comedy to watch is like storytelling, someone talking about their life. But I also love, here's the thing, like specificity on things. Like I'll watch a documentary, learn something. And then I talk about that on stage. It always turns into like a pretty good bit, like just sharing the thing. Because what happens is then you get, you get interesting stuff.

And interesting and funny always trumps just funny. Like if it, if you go like, Oh, I didn't know that about corn. Like,

Like that's a, that's an interesting thing. You're just, your, your level of engagement with it. I think it always is better like that. You learn something and then you have the humor involved in it. So I love watching that stuff. And it's my favorite type of bit to develop is like, Oh, I, I'm going to share this bit of knowledge that people are like, Oh shit. You can see people like lean in on it. Like, Oh shit. You know, some shit. And I will be like, yes, do the corn shit. Yeah.

Corn this year. Beans next year. Do y'all think corn nuts come from actual, it's an actual nut or you think it's hominy corn? They're like, oh no. What is it? It's like, I'll never forget my daughter. She's allergic to nuts, right? Yeah. And I'm eating corn nuts and she's like, Dad, can I have some? So I put them on him. I'm like, no, no. Don't give her nuts. I'm like,

I want you to educate yourself that this is corn. Yeah. This is not an actual nut, but it says corn nuts on it. I'm like,

Never ever heard of harmony? See, those are the... I don't know. That's the kind of stuff that I fucking love, dude. I love that. And this is an educated person. I think when people think they're educated, you're not educated on everything. Of course not. Just educate on the shit you know. I was at a dinner, and there was like, this guy is like some type of... I forget what level engineer. You know, like some nuclear engineer. And I go...

I go, oh, Jesus Christ. You know, he's at this dinner table. I go, so I guess you're definitely the smartest guy here. And he goes, only about one thing. And I go, what? He goes, I mean, I'm smart about nuclear engineering, but that's it. And I go, oh, that's kind of, he's like, yeah, so it's just, that's my expertise. I don't know anything.

everything else. If you're like, whoever knows nuclear engineering, stand up. He goes, that's me. But he goes, that's it. That's where my brain is. If you put...

and... What is that? I don't know. Ketchup? More ketchup? Light ketchup? Ketchup light? He doesn't know shit. Yeah. And I think that's... I love it. It was kind of... It was obviously a humble, modest thing to do. But there's a kernel of truth to it, too. It's like the guy is saying, like, a lot of times you go, like, oh, this guy's a mathematician or whatever. And you're like, you're the smartest guy. He's like, yeah, about math. About math. Yeah. And I'm like, yo, um...

I'm pretty good at math and chemistry. I'm damn good. I was a street pharmaceutical rep. I know both systems. I know business. I know economics. I know both systems. I know what an ounce can turn into. And I know how to bring something from nothing. I lost it. Cold water. I mean, I always, almost always, with the exception of taking a test, I've always been much more...

drawn towards like street smart people and, and like my own, my own successes are from that skillset. You know what I mean? Like the observation and then like navigating life, then like, Hey, I got a 4.0. I'm like, yeah, I didn't, I didn't get a fucking 3.0. I didn't get a fucking 2.0. So it's like, I, you know, books and everything, of course,

There's a lot to be learned. But there's a lot of different types of intelligence. And I think that's one of the major things that intelligent people know that there's different levels of intelligence. Of course. People who think they're intelligent are like, no, I'm the smartest. Like, yo, I get it. You have recorded a lot of things in your head. Mm-hmm.

But have you ever started something from absolutely nothing? Yeah. With no type of... You're reading... Man, it's like this. If my grandfather can build a house from scratch, he can build a house from scratch. You ever went to engineering school? No. You ever went to... No. You ever did... No. Never did anything. How do you know how to build a house? From practice. Yeah, from 50 years of building houses. Yeah, like...

Like, what? How do you think that you're smarter than this person? Like, when people... You have people in my family that, in this time, it sounds crazy. Like, I remember this guy thought this was... Like, he was insulting me. Damn, your grandfather had a fifth-grade education? Well, damn, he couldn't read for a fucking hundred years. You know that, right? Like, it's not... My grandfather is not 19. He's fucking...

A hundred and six. Yeah. You understand? Yeah. Like, no, he fucking had, yes, he had a, I don't even know how he got to the fifth grade. Like what, what was the grades? Like who, who was this person? It's like fifth grade to him was everybody in the room, like little house on the prayer. It's like, what'd you think? This man is never formally with the school, of course, but everybody in the family,

From his point on, going down, went to college, right? Went to some university. Went to school. Went to formal school and graduated, but still asked him for money. Right. He paved the way for all of your shit with no education, and you still ask him for money. Yeah. And you actually think that you're smarter than him. Who gives a shit about your paper and your degree? No, yeah. He's still the richest person ever.

In our whole entire family. Yeah. With a fifth grade education. Like you can go to my grandfather and get a Susan B. And like, like when she was young, like you, like, I know her like on the corner. Like I know her. She's on the corner.

Is your grandfather still alive? No, he passed. He passed. Jesus Christ. My grandmother, when she passed, she was 106. Fucking really? Yeah. God damn. I'm like, yo, these people live a long time in my family. Yeah, you have genetics, man. You're going to be around. My mom is 70 now, and she's like, I'm not going to be here much longer. I'm like, okay. But all her brothers are going towards 80, 89 years old. I'm like,

You still got old aunts. You still got a lot of people that's still alive. Dude, imagine if you lived 50 more years from right now. Wow. That's so fucking long. You're 50 now. Yeah. Imagine doubling your lifetime right now. It's like, it's so much time. It's a lot of time to hopefully...

do something 50 more years but I'll take them I remember I used to say crazy things when I was younger like man 40 is the oldest shit I'm 20 let me get to like let me make it to 40 and I'm straight and then you get like 36 you got a house you're like no I want a little more of this like so when it comes to parenting I don't care if somebody's older than me or not

I've been having kids longer. Yeah. I've had children longer than you. Like my oldest son is 30. My oldest daughter is 25. I had children longer than you. So you telling me your goofy ass parenting shit, I was like, oh, okay. Yeah. You do know I've been doing this a long ass time. Yeah. And my son's like, yeah, he's been a long time. Yeah. He's not an absentee parent. Like he's been parenting a long time. So people that's older than me say, well, you need to do this. I'm like, okay, we'll see how that's going to work.

I promise you it's not going to work. I bet my whole life that it's not going to work. Month later, man, that shit didn't work. I told you. I fucking told you. But you think because you're older than me that you know about. I said, man, okay. I guarantee. I remember I told my friend, I said, hey, man, I know you think your daughter's cool and shit right now. She was like eight or nine. Like, yo, by the time she's 12, this is going to be a demon's child.

And I'm telling you, and it has nothing to do with your upbringing. Oh, man, her mom is this. I said, if you and her mom is ever at odds about something, you better not show her. Yeah. Because I'm talking about that one tink in the armor. Oh, my goodness. Well, Ali, I don't believe it. Okay. Daughters this, go to private school, all that shit. Oh, I get it. I get it. Perfect. 14.

He calls me. You fucking jinxed me. I ain't gonna jinx you. She snuck out the house. I say, bro, let me tell you something. You're fighting the hormone war. Yeah. What is that? The same war they equipped you with this. You know what they equipped you with? Don't have sex because you're going to get a disease or you're going to get pregnant. Never has worked. Never has worked in the history of saying shit. Never works. So you got to learn hormones.

You got to learn hormones and you have to rationalize with them. You have to let them see it. Hey, this is what I'm not telling you what's going to happen. Have you ever had this happen before? Yeah, I've got to let that happen. This is 10 times worse than that. Yeah. Like you have a friend that you've never, that you don't talk to no more, right? Yeah. Her name is Samantha. Remember, Samantha was your best friend. You don't talk to Samantha no more. And then you cry for two days. And I said, now, that was just a friendship.

imagine giving Samantha your body. This is a male. Give a male person your body and then they'll never speak to you again. My daughter was looking at me with a crushed face like, it's called boys. And he was like, oh shit. Then it registers to her like, I need to keep

myself to myself because I don't want this to happen to me not at this stage like all that boyfriend girlfriend shit if that even if that even becomes a thing you're gonna lose your children faster than you ever you ever thought what's a good age for it to start you think

They need to get into maturity. Like that, that 14, 15 shit. Like, man, I'm like, yo man, get the kids to eight. It had to focus on one thing because even in friendships, even in friendships, man, it's a, it's a loss factor in that, that,

I don't think that people, these are little adults. No, they're not. These are people that's growing into adulthood, but their mentality and what they see and what they go through. It's like, man, it's a, it's a lot of fucking talking, man. It's a lot of being present in the moment. Yeah. And it's no, you can't get lost in this shit. Like in parenting, people get lost in why I can just let them do. No, you cannot. As soon as you let them do,

Something happens because it's other things being said to them that you have no idea that's happening because you're not present all the time. You have to be in the know with them. I'm so happy that right now I'm in this era of six and eight. It doesn't feel like the gravity of teen stuff because teen shit just feels so heavy. Right now I have like

two little dudes who are just like, did you get us any toys while you were gone? And you're like, yeah, yes. That's all they want to do is just play. Because that shit, I don't know. I have friends, obviously, with older kids, and it just feels so much heavier. And playing should be socially playing and socially understanding should be the best thing for them right now. Like Hassan, my youngest son, he's 13.

He has absolutely no type of street in him at all. Like none. Yeah. And I love it. Like I love, like I call him corny all the time with so much affection. I'm like, you're just a corny little dude, but I just love it. This is how corny is. If I told my oldest son, cause he's grew up in a different environment. I told my son, Hey man, you're going to have to hustle. If I told my son that I'm going to be at the police station. Cause he's like, you told me though. Like, yeah.

Because hustle means something so different to him. I said, this is hustle. I said, Hasan, you're going to have to learn hustle. And that man looked me in my eyes and said, what, my feet? He's doing a drill. And he's doing basketball. I'm like, oh. But that also, I'm sure, warms your heart a bit, right? That he's like...

He's so far removed from how you grew up that the idea of hustle is like run faster, like try something. Like my oldest daughter, she's a swimmer, right? She's a great swimmer. All these medals, all the sports. And then right in the middle of that, she said, hey, I want to go to culinary school. Like she's in middle school. She's like, I don't really want to swim anymore. I just want to go. I said, well, just swim through high school. Just do it. You know, became a lifeguard. You know, she...

accumulated all this money while she was, because she couldn't spend it. Because I was just taking care of everything. When she was 18, Jayden had an abundance of money when she got ready to go to school. She was like, I'm just going to go to culinary school. I'll pay for that. She's still lifeguards, even though she's a chef. She's like, I'll do it if I don't have anything to do, but I'm so consumed with my kitchen. So me looking at her prepared me for

Helena. I knew Helena was going to pick something crazy that nobody in the family does and we're going to have to support it. We're walking through the mall and she said, they don't want to ice skate. Okay. Put in ice skating. A week later, she's on the ice skating team. Six weeks later, she's in the competition.

She is second place in the competition. A month later, she's in another competition. She wins first place. Then she comes to, she goes to Dallas and wins another competition. She's the first place. She has a competition on the 31st and she's dedicated to ice skating. Like it's like a button clicked. She's so dedicated to it. And my talks are different when it was her sister. Hey, listen, you're going to have to go out and win.

We're here. Hey, you're going to have to go out and win. In my mind, we're the only black people in this pool. You're going to have to win and show them that we can fucking swim. She's winning and doing her thing. My conversation with Alayna is, hey, listen, man, go out there and do your best, man. As long as you make yourself proud, man, your daddy going to be proud of you no matter what. The conversation is totally different

Because I understand. I'm not putting any pressure on her. You're not ice skating to take care of this family. You're ice skating because you choose to. Right. You box my son, my 13 year old box. It's because you want to. Yeah. Whatever y'all want to do.

I can support that because I've learned when I, with my older kids, I don't burn them out on anything, you know, because I was burning my daughter out on swimming. Like it was like I was on some Olympic shit because she, because she was so good. I'm like, yeah, but her mindset was, man, I'm just, I'm just doing this, man. I just want to swim and I want some races. I'm going to become a lifeguard. And my whole thing is you become a lifeguard.

I want you to learn things that you can always make money from. If you decide that you don't want to swim ever again, you can still be an instructor $30 an hour. Yeah. Lifeguards, you sit there $27 an hour because you was a head person. Then if you want to not do none of that, you want to just chill and just become a Coast Guard, get your $35 an hour being a Coast Guard. You know what I'm saying? So in my mind, I made her do sign language.

I make them do now. I make them learn multiple languages. You're going to, you're going to do that. Cause I need you to learn that for just communication. I wish I could, you know, it's just parenting. I, with my guy, his, his son's, um, whatever his son is doing. Oh, running back. I said, Hey, put him in jazz dance. He's like, what? Put him,

in jazz dance if you want him to have great fucking feet yeah put him in jazz dance i don't give a damn what the sport is soccer boxing football basketball jazz dance jazz dance because they're gonna have phenomenal feet all of that has something to do with your feet yeah you want them to be able to heal faster make sure they swim swimming works all the muscles yeah so you

My guidance, make sure your kid learns sign language, man. Why would you do that? Back when I was telling people, it was like, what, $85, $86 an hour? Damn. Now it's like, what, $102? With a minimum of four hours. You go to a hospital...

It's people's deaf and hard of hearing people that come in there. They need translators. That's 400 bucks minimum they're making. Minimum. That's pretty crazy. It's like how it is so many other things that you can do to ensure that your child always has a means to support. This is just skills that you just give them. Shit. I need to fucking do shit.

My big guy, I feel like, he thinks about money. He's eight. He's like, I could do this and I could sell. He's always thinking like... When is his birthday? His birthday is December 14th.

Sagittarius? I don't even know. Sagittarius. Yeah, he's always thinking about, like, and also, like, he's like, oh, yeah, and then, like, Elon Musk did it. I'm like, how do you fucking know? Because, like, they watch little clips of things, and they know. He's always thinking, like, how can I start a business? So, yeah, Sagittarius, my daughter, my oldest daughter, the head business person who I run everything by,

She run, like if she comes in, she is the cleanup lady. Like she, when she became, before she became a chef, while she was in the school, she was working as a hostess. She said, why are you doing that? She said, I want to know this business from front to back. Like she has a master's in food science. Smart. Like she, during the pandemic, she went back to school. Understanding every level of it. Every level of it, right? So she can build from the beginning. December 1st.

It was a birthday. That's the Sag. We got a little business mind there. Your Houston story reminded me of this. I just wanted to show you real quick.

For the first time, we are seeing body camera video when Miami-Dade police say they were assaulted by a quadriplegic man. A case so unusual, even the judge at first appearance seems surprised. It happened May 1st. Police were called to the southwest Miami-Dade home of Brian Amasta.

Also known as El Valiente, his stage name when he's performing music. According to the report, Amastha and his mother, seen here in red, were involved in an argument. But when mom is put in handcuffs, this happens. Hey, stop hitting me with the chair, Brian. That's a battery on a wheel.

When we interviewed Amasta back then, he told us this. They claimed that I hit them with my wheelchair. Did you? I absolutely did not. The report stated that you spit at an officer. Right. So I suffer from acid reflux, so I normally spit. And I spat like the totally different direction. But this is the video. You want to listen or not? Amasta also told us he felt humiliated during his arrest. Are you f***ing laughing at me?

That's a pretty good story, right?

I suffer from acid reflux. I do too. Yeah. I knew he was going to be a hard way to go. Anytime that you're in a wheelchair and you have tattoos, you have a sleeve, oh, you definitely going to be a hard way to go. Definitely going to be a hard way to go.

go man that was um yeah he definitely i also too it's like it's just such human nature too when they're like did you do that and people are like no i didn't do that shit and then they cut right to like the fuck like he did spit on me talking about that wasn't acid reflux you fucking asshole and he's like did you hit him with your chair and he's like and then they're like it's fucking fantastic i had nothing to do with any of it i don't know shit i don't know anybody i didn't do anything um

All right, we got to wrap up. I'll go see Ali on tour, alisadiq.com for tickets on YouTube. I mean, start, look up the Domino Effect. There are now four separate stories. How many more are going to come? Two more? One more for Domino, and then we switch into another series in the shadows.

All right. Well, you're absolutely prolific. And this is, it's so good. And I really, really mean this. I can't tell you how impressed I was with this. It's really, really good. Go look up the domino effect on YouTube. Go see Ali on tour. Thanks for coming today, man. Man, finally. I know. Thank y'all for having me on Mom's House. And Christina. Great glasses, Christina. Are those the rosebud glasses? Yes. We'll see you guys next week.

... ... ... ... ...

Stop telling me daddy chill. Stop commenting all that stuff under my post. You guys are like women. Please stop trying to make me look bad on this platform. You guys stop commenting daddy under my post. You guys please. Real disrespectful when you guys tell me that. Chill, chill, chill, chill, chill, chill, chill, chill, chill. Please stop. Daddy, chill, chill, chill. Bro, I already told you guys. That is real disrespectful when you guys tell me that, bro. Disrespect to me, that's what I am. Disrespect to me, that's what I am.

Don't be commenting no daddy chill don't call me no not gone stop telling me daddy chill stop commenting all that stuff under my post you guys are like women Please stop trying to make me look bad on this platform. You guys stop commenting daddy under my post you guys, please