Embrace The Chaos w/ Sebastian Maniscalco | YMH Ep. 782
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You can catch our guest on the It Ain't Right Tour now. Check him out in season two of Bookie this December. It's Sebastian Mendez-Calco, everybody. Let him hear it. Thank you for having me here. First time here. Thanks for coming, man. We've been friends for a while. For a good while, yeah. And this is the first time, actually, I think I've actually seen you two together. Yeah, a lot of times we will. Because I always see you separately. That's why the marriage works. That's right. Because we're never together. Plenty of time apart. That's right, babe. That's right.

Well, no, this is the first time I've seen you together. That's true. We haven't really been around each other

as as this that's true you're at the comedy store so you and the palisades yeah and uh oh that's right at that little cute village yeah right before just being being regular people it's always weird to see a comic in the light of day there's people that i've only ever known in the dark at the store for like 20 years in a hallway oh dude you look totally different you're like wow you have hair yeah it's wild yeah that's crazy

Anyway, Sebastian, I have the best memories of you. The first time I saw you was in Santa Monica at a bar, some show we always did on a weeknight, you know? And you were doing your Ross dress for Les. Wow. And I was like, that's the funniest fucking thing. That's one of those bits that made it...

In the rounds amongst comics, they're like, have you seen this guy's this bit? You know, like everyone had like signature bits that like you discover people on. And I remember, I think, hearing about that bit even before I saw it. Like people were like, this is the fucking funniest bit I've ever seen. Thank you. And your cadence and your confidence. And I was like, that's it. I think I actually saw you first at the Comedy and Magic Club. Is that where we ran into each other? Well, I think, I don't even know if I ran into you. I was like.

down there and I think they were like, you were having your own night and you hadn't quite ascended to doing huge, but that show was sold out. And I was like, how's the show sold out? How does anyone know, how would people know who you are yet? I think it was pre-specials and stuff.

And they were like, oh, he's got like people or they were like discovering you. You know what I mean? Like in the midst of discovering you. And because I would just do like those 15 minute spots there, you know, eat salmon. Oh, that was the best part. It's a nice salmon. And that's, yeah, that's, I think that's where I first saw you. And I was like, oh, wow, this guy's got, yeah, I could see how funny you were. Well, thanks. Yeah, it's, I have a funny relationship with comedians because going to the comedy clubs, I never really...

or, you know, I hung out, but I didn't really, like... I wasn't a hang guy. I didn't, like, hang out until, like, 2 o'clock in the morning. Because you're kind of an introvert, too, right? Yeah, I just kind of like doing my comedy. You do your business and you go. Yeah, especially when I met my wife. I just...

treated it as like I gotta go do a set and I'll come back home and we'll hang out so yeah um but then I do remember us crossing paths at the comedy store yeah I think you brought me up one night yeah and then we did um what was the festival we did together that's right and that's actually when you had

because I remember what would happen was, this is pretty funny. I'll try to do this without hurting anyone else's feelings, but this was Oddball. So Live Nation decided to do their version of a comedy festival, like Lollapalooza or whatever. And so they booked this tour of all these cities at amphitheaters, right? And this is like end of 2015, I think. I think it's like end of 2015. Yeah.

And all of a sudden, like everyone knew, like they used to do them at like Madonna. Yeah. Everyone was like Sebastian. It was so lucky, the one name thing. And here's the thing though. He wasn't closing out most shows. He was like second to last. And I remember we were like, one of the shows, I'm sitting there with Jeff Ross and you go up and the fucking place goes crazy. He's like, it's going to be a problem for whoever's after this. I was like, yeah, that's going to suck.

And then he would go up and everybody was, they were like, oh, they're out here to see you. And we did the Chicago area one. And then we did the fucking Long Island one, the Jones Beach one. Oh, Jones Beach. Yeah. And it was pandemonium when you went up there. And I was like, oh shit. Like everybody was there. It was like, oh, I could see that this was going to, this was like a magic market. Like the New York Italians were all out.

He was like, good night, and they were just like, boop. And you just saw, and we're like, hey, there's like two more people going up. There were like 8,000 people at one time were leaving. We're like, oh, shit. 8,000 Italians just got up and left. And I think it was John Mulaney, actually, that went on after me. Oh, no. That he was, we were joking about the fact that he's up there and just all this cologne left the place. Gone. Yeah. So.

Yeah, I mean, that's the thing is like, you know, that spot too. It's actually like the sweet spot, right? Second to last. I actually had one of the most desire. Like I learned this from doing that tour. And I've told other people since if you ever get on one of those, if you can go right before intermission. That's the sweet spot. That is the spot. And the reason is they've seen all the like, they're warmed up. They're like, we're at a show.

Right before intermission, sun's down, so now it's dark. And intermission means you can go have dinner. So the show's going to go on another fucking two hours because there's an intermission and then all the acts. So I would literally get this cushion sweet spot, and then I'd see everybody. I'd be like, I'm going into the city. I'm going to go have dinner right now. And it was like, I tell anybody, if you can call your shot on this thing right before intermission is the best spot. That's a good spot. That is a good spot. That's what we did in South Africa, that tour. Yeah.

South Africa doing comedy? We did a million years ago. We did a festival there. Before we had children. Durban and Johannesburg. They ended up going. Yeah, it was the Nando's. Nando's Chicken. Hot Chicken Festival.

Nando's Chicken had a tour? Yeah. It was really fun. It was probably one of the best experiences I've ever had. Nando's Chicken's great. On the 11th night, you're like, I don't think I want any more chicken. Because they would give it to you free in the green room. And that peri-peri sauce by day five, you're like, I'm going to throw up. You're like, I'm going to shit blood again if I eat this. But that was fun. That was really fun. That was a good time. And again, that was the thing you learned. The Live Nation one was kind of like...

I don't know. It was just kind of laid out. Like, this is what it is. Like, all right. But then on the South Africa one, I feel like there was kind of like a little more egos involved. Like people. I know where you're going and I like it. Posturing. You know what I mean? For like, I should go here and I don't want to go. And I just was like,

you know happy I was like where do we go it was one of those things and was Ian Bagg hosted right didn't he host yeah Baggles fuck man did he host or did he do a spot no he did a spot he did like one of the early spots before intermission and he murdered so funny he would destroy and yeah but that was another thing where I would watch other people kind of be like I think I should go here and I was like oh boy okay do whatever you want and then there was one

Who had the ego. We'll just say this person shall remain nameless. However, they felt, because at the time they were a hot ticket in the States.

But they demanded a lot of breathing going out of it to close out this festival. And by the way, you've got heavy hitters on the show, right? Bagels, Tom Segura. It's great. It's a good lineup. And you got some big hitters in South Africa. You know what I mean? You forget that you're discovering them, but they're known. So you go like, you fucking show up.

to another country like yeah i know what i'm doing they're like yeah so is this fucking guy he's from here so like just just so you know the local jokes and the culture and you know that's everything wait you tell it though because you don't want to tell the story i'm like sweating thinking about no i think we should stop okay i was getting interesting let's just say this person demanded it and it was very well known

And it was an item to my contract. And we were all like, all right, bro, like, go ahead, knock it out. And let's just say he ate some fucking African cock. Like fucking AIDS dicks. It was wild. That happened to be very black and big. They were big black guys. He got booed. He got booed. And I remember that learning that lesson from that night of like,

Don't let your ego get into it. If you're in a different part of the world and this guy's the number one star, you're not the star here. It's all relative. In certain markets, you're not the star. If I was in Atlantic City with you, I'd be like, ah, I think Sebastian should close the show. For sure, I will host. Yeah. No, you can't get all... Just, you know, without saying any names, is the comedian still working? He died. He died? I think. No, no.

We'll tell you the name off, Mike. And I think the answer is yes. Still around. Still around. Okay. Good to know. Is this live? No.

Get ready to fucking cut that thing up. Oh, no. Do you have... It's fine. It's fine. So has this... This show's been on how long? Since 2010. 2010. So you got 14 years, right? Yeah. Is there an archival edit, like the stuff that you edited out somewhere on a drive? Yeah. And when you pass away, this comes out? Yeah.

It's a great way for one last viral clip. Put it in our will. The day we croak. That's a great idea.

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Because Pete and I, we do this Pete and Sebastian show, we say a lot of stuff. Pete more than I, and then we'll have to go cut it out. And there's all this cutout stuff, which I think is really funny. It's all the things that everybody would love to hear. Yeah, right? And then it's like, really? We can't air this? Because someone's going to get bent out of shape or whatever? So yeah, we have an archival folder. Well, it's like, you know, we all do this, but when we sit around...

Like I just had a couple lunches with comics who the best is when they just, you go, it's good to see you. And they just rant and talk shit. And you're like, God, I wish I could release this. Because it's like, it's, it's what everybody would love. And you go, yeah, you can't say it. But man, if somebody just was like, fuck it and release one of those, it would be unbelievable. You know? Well, I think in the comedy community, um,

From what I've seen from afar, if you didn't know anything about comedians, right, you would think everybody's supportive of every other comedian. There's just big camaraderie and everybody's just hoping everybody else does great. I don't think that's the case, is it? No, it's not. No way. It's not. It seems like it's on the surface. I think there's camaraderie amongst certain people and certain groups of friends. If you're friends with them. If you're actually close friends.

and you celebrate your friends' victories and you're like, oh, that's... You know what I mean? There's also this thing where you don't even have to be friends, but if you're like...

You know, he's a good guy. And you hear good news, you're like, good for that guy. He's a good guy. I like that guy. Or, I will say, hard work always trumps even the shittiest personality in our business. You'd be like, yeah, but they totally grind. They've been grinding at it. So hard. 22 years. I think the time comedians get real nasty is when you're like, that fucking, what? That just happened? Like, you didn't even do your time. Like, we're very, like, prisoners. We're like, if you haven't fucking done the time, bro. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That's true.

Because you've got to be in the trenches for a certain amount of time. So what is the certain amount of time? What do you deem as like,

For what? For what achievement? Yeah, what level of success? Because everybody has like... Well, okay, for a comedian to be making a very nice living doing stand-up, and let's say that's at the theater level. Oh, wow. Over 10. At least. They've got to be over 10. I would say 15 to 17. At theaters, if you're doing it at 10, you had some break that like... That's true. You had some... Hopscotch to you. But if you're over... Let's say you're just 12 years in, and somebody goes...

hey, this person is doing well, people go, okay, they've put some time into this. Yeah, there is a big thing for that. But then the people who pop later in life, the ones who are in their...

they're 50 or something and they've been at, then everyone really, you can tell they really cheer for it. It's just this thing where it's like understood that person has been grinding away at this and they're finally getting their moment. I feel like most comics just go, I approve. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I think you're around that time, I guess 12, 13 years. I mean,

I mean, there is exceptions to that rule. Obviously, the one that comes to mind for me is Eddie Murphy was like, whatever, 20, 21. That's like a unicorn. Unicorn thing. Which you could kind of understand why he skipped the line because he was just so super talented. But yeah, I mean, knocking around. Then there's like the other thing, because that's like purely stand-up based. But then there's...

There's if your talent shines in another space and you get something because of that. I think most people go, you know, if the talent, like if they see that the talent is easily read, like when Tiffany Haddish popped,

When she was in that movie, that road trip, girls trip or whatever, you watch the trailer and you're like, man, she's a comedy star. So no one's going to be like, I can't believe you're getting shit. You watch that and you're like, yeah, she's clearly super talented. I think people, and I don't have any reference for how long she was in it then, but I just go like, you see that she's good at this thing, right? So you kind of,

celebrate that too, I think. I do. I think so. However, I'm going to throw another curveball at you. Yeah. Bert's fat. Is that what you're going to say? Huge. Yeah. And he drinks a lot. By the way, I just saw something on Instagram with him and his wife and he's doing the thing and his...

Is there any, and I don't know what's going on on Bert's team or whatnot, but when he's got his assistant or producers there and they got to look at his ass or balls hanging out, is there human resources or anything? Ask these guys. They've been on that side of it. Guys, what's the thought on that? Yeah.

You just accept it? No HR. No HR. He has a lot of women on his team, too. Yeah, I noticed. That's got to be cool for them. Yeah. The younger ones, especially. It is funny that you brought this up. So one time we were all hanging out. This is like maybe the last tour or something. And it was like his guys, his team, and me. And then he was like, yeah, you know, I get naked in front of people on the bus. And I go, you know, you really shouldn't do that. He's like, why? And I go, because people...

They work for you. They don't necessarily want to see you naked. And he goes, what? And he turns and his whole team is there. He goes, what's up with this? And they were like, yeah, we would appreciate it if you changed behind closed doors. He was like, what the fuck?

He's like, you're just saying this now. I go, well, you never thought of this? That someone doesn't want to see you change? And he was like, all right, I'll start changing with the door closed. I go, that's a fucking normal thing to do. Because he was just changing in front of people. Yeah, he's very, very comfortable. I mean, I don't know. He is, I'll say this. I do admire that. As somebody who's so self-loathing and God, this looks like shit and I fuck if it. I see him as a free bird in that regard. And he's just like,

Not only that, he's like, I look great. He's like, I look great. And I'm like, okay, that's a cool narrative in your head.

But I think I took your curveball away. Yeah, what was I doing? Curveball. Okay. Do you think that there is, with all this stuff going on on the internet and podcasting, this, that, and the other thing, that comedians that are coming up now are spending the amount of time in the comedy clubs honing their act as maybe generations before them? Or...

Are people just worried about pumping out videos and podcasts and whatnot? It's a really insightful question. My thought on it is it's a different path. So we also can't think in terms of just how we did it because what's available today was not available to us. So I think it's probably a combination of no, like to a degree, no, they're not available.

doing just what we did, but they're also like hyper aware that these viral clips can change your... Change your ticket sales, change your career. But I think you're right. And I don't think the clubs support feature acts as much anymore. That's 100%. That's what it sounds like to me is that kids can't get... You can't be a feature. There's no featuring because the...

You bring who you want to bring to everybody. Yeah, mostly the headliners bring or they'll give the kid from like TikTok who's got millions of followers who can sell out that show or whatever. May not be the best act live but can move tickets which I totally understand from a club's perspective, right? Yeah.

But yeah, I just don't think they're spending time. They don't have the time to hone the way we did. You know, you would get those weeks from fucking Stroop and you're like so stoked. You're like, oh, I'm going to work fucking 40 weeks in like Toledo, Des Moines, Iowa, whatever. And also clubs have also changed their weeks. I didn't realize that until recently where a lot of clubs now have changed from being the

Wednesday, Thursday. They're like Friday, Saturday. Really? Yeah, there's a lot of clubs doing Friday, Saturday shows. I didn't know that. And maybe they'll do some other, but I'm saying like the offer to the comic. Like we used to be like, they'll be like, you'll come here Wednesday. Thursday morning, you'll do press. You do Friday, Saturday. They're like, oh, like I talked to my friends who are like, they just started working Funny Bones and stuff. And they're like, yeah, my offers are Friday, Saturday. That's it. So they're condensing the week too.

What are they doing the rest of the week? I don't know. Just for local people? Yeah, maybe they're figuring out something to do in the... I think they're doing quiz nights. Quiz night? Bingo shit. I don't know. I think they might be renting it out for other things. I think any couple do church on Sundays. Look, I kind of understand this too. Especially when you're not cleaning out places, but when your shit is starting to sell,

And like they go, hey, for the week, for Wednesday through Sunday, you know, you sold 600 tickets here. It's like, dude, can we do less shows then? You know what I mean? Not pay the staff and the lights. Yeah. I mean, as the act, you're just like, great. Why don't we try to get like 400 of them to come Friday, Saturday? That's pretty good. Two nights or whatever, you know? I don't know. That old model, I think, did need some tweaking. Yeah. For sure. Yeah.

So I did want to ask you a couple things now that I'm here. And I have to... And I would assume this is planned. Yeah. You do a really great job on keeping your kids off social media. Yeah. And is that something that you guys... Deliberate, for sure. So... Because I've never...

I've seen your kids in person at the Palisades, but I go on your Instagram and go, wow, their kids are completely ghosted. Is that something that you decided before you even had them? Here's the thing. Yes. I realized early on, I think that I was like, you know, this lane of stand-up we're in is also... Because there's lanes within comedy. You know what I mean? Where there's...

Clean acts. There's family acts. There's, you know, there's just like different stuff. And I realized like we embrace chaos on this podcast.

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This podcast is- We haven't even gotten to it yet with you. I know, but it's fucking mayhem, dude. Well, no, I saw- Yeah. This- Funkle? Funk- Well, the- With the bathtub- I mean- Right, so, but like, it fuels this whole thing of like-

of like there's weird shit out there and we are finding out what's weird and then the comments are a mix of very funny, like there's very funny comments, there's crazy shit and it just gave me a peek into this side of humanity where I was like this is chaotic and you know, it's not fucking Main Street where you go like everything's great here. So I was like, I don't think I should be like here's my kids to that.

that. I thought that before even having kids. And they don't see us on YouTube. They don't see anything, really. That's great. So you're saying that there's like an underbelly of society here that you're

that you're tapping into? I believe so. I would prefer to say highlighting, showcasing the marginalized communities on the internet. People that you don't get a voice, Sebastian, that's how we see it. These gentlemen. So, and again, fascinating how this all, is this something that just developed organically or did you guys go, we're going to do this? Sebastian, it's our shared sensibility. I will say...

We both laughed at the worst part of Grizzly Man, that documentary. I don't know if you remember it, about Timothy Treadwell, this maniac that would go live on a bear reservation thinking that he was protecting bears. You saw that doc? I didn't see it. It's old as shit. It's unbelievable. This is one of the first dates. Yeah, Werner Herzog. Tom, this is 2005. We're on a date. We go see Grizzly Man. And then we're in the theater and Werner Herzog is a legendary filmmaker and he's making a very compassionate movie. Yeah.

about this lost soul. Timothy Treble is a lost soul. You're supposed to feel bad. Who goes to Alaska and lives with bears and documents it. And then during the documentary, at one point, they find a pilot who had taken him from where civilization is to drop him off where bears are, something that nobody does. So he goes, yeah, you know,

this guy comes up to me and he's asking me to drop him in bear country and i thought he was retarded you know and we laughed so hard in the theater and you could see people being like this isn't funny um and that's when we felt like oh there's a real bond here and that is the start of our shared sense of everything chaotic and weird and then i'm saying about no nothing

We really enjoy these things in private life, and then we decided to start talking about it on a podcast. That's true. That's true. It's all shit that we love. I don't know. It's like... What I find funny in things like little moments, like on the Fun Uncle clip, this little beat at the end, I could study for fucking six days. I could watch the clip over and over because there's so many micro-movements, micro-emotions in it, and that's what like...

what always makes me laugh about these clips is like the nuance of it. Yeah, yeah. It really gets me. Which is interesting with you, Sebastian, because I feel like you're an upholder of the opposite, of like what the fuck is wrong with everybody? Why can't people just fucking be normal? Yeah, so yeah, that's kind of where my mindset is. Be normal. You're kind of in your hell garden right now. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

yeah i'm coming from like the manners like what does anybody have like manners or like are we all kind of just society falling apart at the at the seams yeah so my my it's a disdain and disgust for yes behavior that seems to be it's a great lane too it really is a great lane

I know. I identify with it to a great degree. Oddly enough, in stand-up, I've always adhered to towing that line as well. I've always...

called out like are you seeing this yeah you know like are you seeing this fucking nonsense but i feel like you know it's definitely been branded it's like it's a sebastian brand is is essentially like what the fuck's going on here yeah it's like you know what i mean like it's a great comedic lane yeah did you grow up proper i want to say proper uh i just grew up with like

like, you're not wearing that. We're going here. It's old school values in a way, right? It's like, it's traditional values. Traditional values. And you say, you know, we're talking about drugs and whatnot. My family didn't do any. Pops.

Yeah. Hallucinogenics growing up. My dad was a hairstylist. My mother was a secretary. And there was like... Did your father... I never asked you this. Did he himself immigrate or did his parents immigrate? He did. As a child or as an adult? At 15, he came here. Oh, so like... So he was...

He spent 15 years in Sicily, and growing up that way brought some of those techniques here to the United States to teach his kids. And my mother, very sweet and nice. So we all have immigrant parents. There is a shared experience in that, in having immigrant parents. I think so. I mean, I think they bring a whole different...

set of rules that maybe you don't see in other parents that were maybe raised here. And my mom is big, big time with like

You have to be kidding that you're wearing that. Oh, for sure. Big time. Are you out of your mind? It's like a consistent theme. For sure. Well, you could do two things. You could adhere to that, right? Yeah. Or you could rebel against it. Totally. Did you listen? Yeah. Or were you going, oh, I'm going to go and do my own. I'm wearing my own. I was goth, so maybe.

So maybe I rebelled. Yeah, you rebelled. Big time you rebelled. But then now as an adult, I go to like the courthouse and you're like, who the fuck is wearing flip flops and shorts to court? At court. Are you out of your mind? And now on airplanes, pajama bottoms, house slippers in the airport. Yeah. Like now I'm becoming my parents with that stuff. Yeah, I mean. Like total Euro. I think what I did was I learned exactly what to do.

And like I understand it completely. And then I know how to specifically upset my mother, which for 45 years has given me a thrill. You know what I mean? So I love to like, I know not to belch at the table. I do it because I know how much it's going to upset her. You know, things like that. Or I just describe to her my series that I'm shooting next month and like the stories in it. It's like all these like,

you know, like old Twilight Zone movies.

And each one of them, she was like, she goes, I will never leave my house if you make this. You have to use a different name. I go, different name? She's like, people can't know this is you. She's like, you are just, why don't you just make pornography? Like, you know, I just know that it'll upset her. But I love upsetting her. I don't know, it's just like a trigger for me. He hates his mom. It's okay, we all do. You're a comic? No, I think you mean everyone hates my mom. Oh, that, yeah, specifically. Yeah. Your mom, yeah.

All right. So is your mom immigrant? No, no. She was born here. My father was born in Sicily, and they met in Chicago. And yeah, they've been really supportive of what I do. No, I've seen. It's actually a very endearing thing, the element of not know. I don't think I've ever met. I'm trying to think if I've been somewhere. Your dad's been there, too, maybe briefly or something. Yeah.

The idea of how much you bring them into things, it's very endearing. Yeah, they're involved. They're there. And your sister too, I want to say. I've seen her in a bunch of things. Sister, yeah. I mean, sister's got three kids, so it's harder for her to go see shows, but she'll be in Chicago with me with her family. It's nice to have the family, especially the kids, now kind of getting to know what I do, coming to the shows, everything.

It's just such a different upbringing than I had. We were just at the Madison Square Garden. They're running around the garden up top in the balcony. I'm sitting there looking at that going, I was in my yard digging holes, playing with worms. You realize they're going to tell those stories too when they're older. It's really cool to have them witness it and them sharing all the...

So, yeah, it's been really, really good for us because, you know, as you well know, you go on the road, right? You got kids at home, you know, before you know it, they're 18, 19, 20 years old. So I'm very, very conscious now of like, I don't want to miss a lot. You know, I don't want to be in Montana while my kids,

daughters at a gymnastic meet yeah so but before you know it you know you keep telling yourself you're gonna slow down because i don't know how you guys operate don't look at me this is the shit i say to you all the time motherfucker i know literally i'm like it's just you're yeah so wait how do you deal with it you're gonna die you're gonna die you're just gonna die they're gonna grow up they're gonna grow up and then i don't what it's

You're famous. Big fucking deal. Nobody remembers you in five years anyway. Do you remember Don Rickles? Anybody in the booth? Phyllis Diller? Any of those names? No? Rodney Dangerfield? None. Okay. Go ahead. You were saying? Sorry, I didn't mean to touch on such a sensitive topic. No, it's fine. No, but listen.

Because I go, okay, this is very fleeting, this business, right? Totally. I look at it very negatively. I'm not Mr. Positivity when it comes to like it's always going to be there. I look at it like next year, it's it. It's over. Another guy is going to come in or whatever. So I look at it like let me get it now, right, before it's over.

But then you keep saying that every year, and next thing you know, the kid's a 21, and you're like, what the fuck was I doing? So what I have done is I'm like, you know what, let me pull back here a little bit, because what are we going to... I don't got to have...

I don't got to do everything, right? It was up to me. I just like doing stand-up. Yeah. But sometimes you get pressured and go, you got a podcast? No, you got to get a podcast. Yeah. I was like, I'm going to go get a podcast. You need to do a TV show, broader audience, this and that and the other thing. So I find myself sometimes doing things, not necessarily out of the love of doing it, but to feed the...

The animal, to feed the stand-up. So at the end of the day, it's like, how much stuff are you going to do? It's the exact conversation. Exactly the same. And then you go, you know what I want to do? I want to quit things. You just want to quit. You just want to go, I want to stop doing that and just do this. Yeah. And then you...

have to decide how you're going to manage that. But you have to say no to things. Yeah. It's a hard thing to learn. So you two, for you, is your passion the stand-up? Is it this? I have a lot of fun doing this. There's nothing more fun than stand-up. I think we both feel like there's nothing more. Stand-up is the absolute best in the world. Traveling to do it, however, is the worst vile part of it.

And I unfortunately can't really do it. I mean, I'm almost 50 now and my body can't handle it. I'm over it. I got two kids. So,

My absolute favorite. But this is the second favorite podcasting. I learned to pare down the tour. I did the last tour, and I learned that that's an insane, non-sustainable, and also not fun, non-beneficial way of doing it. This weekend, I go out, I do three shows. I come right home. I'm home for a few weeks. The next time I go out, it's two shows. Like,

That makes it so that also that when, first of all, I'm enjoying life at home, spending more time with my family, but also the actual stand-up becomes more fun. It doesn't become like, I got to do fucking nine shows this week and then I got to do it again. That's not fun. I don't enjoy that. I wish we could do stand-up at like 3 p.m.

Yeah, that is funny. Why can't we do that? That's our age showing the most because she'll be like, got great news. I go, what? She goes, I just booked a 5 p.m. show in Tampa. Yeah, why not? Why not? Sunday at 5. Yeah. What's his name's doing?

Yes. Great. He does like matinees. Yeah, he does daytime shows. I know. 5 p.m. this guy's doing this show during the daylight, which is... I'm like, you could do that? Yeah. I just thought... I know. I thought comedy was directly associated with nighttime. Not necessarily... It's the best. And also...

I don't know. I am not built long-term. I have a few, but doing doubles, I'm like, I don't want to do doubles. The doubles are done. Doubles are done. Doubles are done. That's a nightmare. That kills you. Yeah. It definitely kills you. Do you guys, when you're doing stand-up for multiple shows, multiple runs, if you have to do five in a week or what have you, is the act the same from...

soup to nuts as far as the order is concerned. Do you ever get to a bit and go, oh God, I gotta do this again? Dude, in this current hour, in the, let's say I've been touring it for nine months or something, I've had, I think this is the only time it's been this dramatic. I've had the last, the closing 15 become the opening 15, become the middle 15, become the third quarter 15. Like, I've shifted it

that many times some out of boredom some out of excitement and then some out of like oh I think I'm figuring out what to do and it's the only thing that ever cures that is either a new order or a new bit yeah what do you do do you do the same uh

I switch it up just to order, like he's saying. Just like, hey, let's try this in the beginning. Because there's some bits that are my favorites that are in the middle. And I feel after I get to those, I feel like,

It's like a letdown. Yeah. It's like, oh, yeah. Yeah, this is not going to be as funny as what I just said. Ultimately, I feel like an hour, you want an hour to go like this, like this, like this, like this, and then like that. You want it to end like that. And sometimes you go like this, and then you end like that.

straight like it's still good but you're like no it doesn't have this yeah it doesn't have and you need you feel like you need that yeah because that's what everyone's last thought is what did he do at the end yeah also though I feel like you got to come out in the beginning and like you know hit him in the mouth yeah because they're sitting there going all right what do you got now so you got to come out there and kind of blast them with some some juice right up big shot at the garden yeah how about this guy you ever seen something like this

It hurts! It hurts!

He's in a lot of pain. That looks like it hurts so fucking bad. Look at his whole body. You gotta give it to them, though. They really don't fuck around. In Asia, they're like, just deal with it, dude. Stop the crying. This is like Kyrgyzstan. This is an example of...

So this video. Yeah. Did you see the video? I feel like I've seen this one. This is on your feed? Yeah. My algorithm. My feed don't look like that. So here's the thing. Yours is probably just like, oh, here's a car. What are you looking at? Six places to go see in Italy while you're on vacation. I'm not getting Asian rub outs. Oh, yeah. Wait until you see the TikToks. I get a lot of fucking. You're not even. This is the beginning.

Oh, man. What the fuck? Come on. I just hate. What's he doing? I don't even understand. He said, you're good now. I don't like that at all. Okay, so...

Give me like the behind the scenes on this. So you posted, have you ever posted a video like this? Sure. Right. Yeah. And the people in the video see it on your show and call and text or whatever and say, sometimes they go, thanks for highlighting me or, or like,

Like, I would like to come on now. Can you please book me? And sometimes they go, you didn't ask for permission. You get every type of answer. And you're not phased by any of it coming in and nothing. It doesn't even. It's been so long. No, it's 14 years. We've been doing this for so long. They know. We know what we're doing. No.

If I could just comment, which I've never seen this before. This is kind of like a little behind-the-scenes info for your fans, and I don't know if anybody's ever brought it up. But prior to coming in here, I used your restroom. And I don't know whose idea was this, but...

There is dental floss in there, Q-tips, chapsticks, eye drops, and something that I actually brought in here. I had a take. I've never seen this before. And I'm really into hospitality, and I'm really into little touches. Yeah. Got your own mints? Yeah. This is beautiful. You like that? Yeah. I saw that, and the first thing I said is,

Wow, they're doing well. And then I tried one just to see what the quality was. And I got to tell you, delicious.

I don't even know where you go and get this. Who started? There was a meeting. Someone had to have a meeting. And someone said, we should have our own mints. That's true. Who decided this? That's a great question. Oh, gosh. It was straight from the top. It was Ryan. Ryan's like, when he's classy. He's very classy. Ryan gets it. But do you see how special it was for you? We wanted you...

Sebastian Maniscalco, who flew all the way from L.A. to Austin to feel special. Well, I do. And I hope you do. I do. I mean, it's really nice what you got set up here. You got the mural out there. You got our own mints. You got your own mints. You got this, which I keep seeing at every podcast. We have a podcast, and Liquid Death hasn't contacted us at all. I want to show you this one right before we show your special thing. I remember seeing this one that I really enjoyed, too.

You're gonna shoot me. This guy's doing finger guns. You're gonna shoot me, mate. Okay. Are you actually gonna shoot me? That old guy is. Yeah, but you're gonna shoot me. He was doing trigger fingers like he's a gangster. Have I got a gun? But why are you touching my... Don't fucking come there. Don't come here, you dickhead. Bro, listen. Look, I'm not a bully, right? But I'm like three times the size of you. Yeah, but don't fucking touch my car. Hit my car, bro. Don't do that. Okay, hold on. So this guy...

what appears is a guy's in his car and this guy's being an asshole for whatever reason the guy outside of the car don't do that because this car's working now he's like sitting on his car touching his car don't do that don't don't do that you've got no money i've got okay i'm gonna do this i'm gonna do this

Oh, look at this guy. LAUGHTER

that's the look of defeated you know you're like oh yeah i fucked up we know what a pain in the ass it is to get new fucking oh yeah he just i mean and that guy's also processing i definitely those are not redeemable like those are completely crushed and also i did this like nothing this was totally avoidable i would have glasses right now if i hadn't fucked with this guy

That's just a good don't start shit lesson. And me crocs. He points it out. It's me crocs. All right, are you ready? This is the best part for me of the show. Be clear for her. I love this. I curate TikToks. This is from my algorithm. Like I said earlier, I like to highlight people that don't have a voice or the marginalized communities. So what, by the way, is there, what's like the darkness of a Sebastian? You know what I mean? Like what, what,

What is it? There's got to be something in there that is like somewhat dark, right? Like our feed shows us our own darkness. I mean, I like watching people fight in. Yeah. Really? That's. So this is good for you. Some of my. Yeah. So like I was hoping that this guy.

Would have went into a rage. Yeah. And you would have seen like a croc fly off the camera. Yeah, yeah. And beat the shit out of that guy. Okay. So I guess if... Okay, I like this. I like that when it comes to entertainment, like how it all goes down. I don't know if that's dark. It's just... No, there's... Do you like fighting and aggression? I'm not aggressive at all.

But I do like when other people kind of go toe-to-toe. Yeah. Yeah. I like that. Yeah. Yeah. Who doesn't? Okay. Buckle up. Here's Christina's curations. I thought you, this one's for you, Tom. I love this shit. All the cupping. I know. Look at all the cupping. Also the breathing. He's already in pain, right? I like when they really, really hammer him. Yeah. When the mallet comes dropping.

Are you guys into all this, like, do you do cupping and ice? Are you in an ice bath? Yeah. Yeah? Yeah. And, like, give me the vibe. Like, when you go in. Sucks. Yeah, and then you come out. You feel great. Yeah, I get it. Okay. But, like...

generally speaking throughout the day if you didn't do the ice would you go fuck I'm off bro I didn't do my ice today actually kind of I wouldn't say it's so dramatic where it's like black and white but like I remember when I came in here like if I don't know was it last week and I came right from it these guys were like damn you're in a good mood and I was like straight out of the bath baby like I was just firing on all cylinders I was feeling good about it

yeah I don't know he brags about it he likes he has to tell me that he did the bath why because I know that she can't tell you did the bath and how long you did it for well it's always the same he would have me time him sometimes yeah she doesn't really do that either she's like she'll be like it's cold outside I'm like I'm you're not even getting in the water what's the temp right now it's at 45 45 but I don't know I've gone down to 40 I've gone up to 50

I don't know. I think right in the middle works for me. 45 is good. It's good. What do you think? Have you tried it? You going to do it? I got one. It's been there for a year. I was diligent with it for a little bit, but then... Did you like how you felt after? I did. There is a sense of euphoria when you get out of it. There is. I was doing it more for like, does it heal inflammation? Oh, interesting. So from what I understand... It helps with it.

I don't do a lot of research. Yeah. Do you guys do a lot of research on stuff? Somebody just says something once, I go, that's probably true. I just do what Joe Rogan tells me. Yeah, you hear that Joe, and you're like, all right. Dr. Huberman, got it. Yeah, exactly.

So we just got word that Tanner is the one who deserves credit for the custom mints. Tanner Bananas. This is blowing my mind. Good for you. Solid move. My phone's been blowing up since I said it was Ryan. They're like, no, it was Tanner. Don't fucking take that from him. Please take that credit away from Ryan and give it to Tanner.

This is how I travel as a COVID conscious person. First, I use Covixil nasal spray before going to the airport and I mask in the Uber, of course, and I always mask in the airport. When I get on the plane, I wipe down as much as I can with Clorox wipes and I use my Pure Enrichment air purifier for the plane. I wait a little bit to eat after everyone else gets their snacks and I plan to do as much of my activities outside as possible. When I get home, I wear a mask and test a few days in a row and that is that.

First of all, nothing, if you did a version of this video, I don't think anything could ever perform better. Nothing would ever get more views than if you did a direct duplication of this video. Oh, wow. I mean, do people do this? It's fascinating what people are doing online. Are they doing this to actually be helpful, or are they doing this to...

Be quote unquote famous. What is the like if I had a routine like this, you would never know about it. Right. Right. I would never go and share it with anybody. Right. Right. The mindset here is it. I mean, I think part of that is you get your attention in other ways. You have a talent and you get to do it and like you get your fill from that.

Somebody else, like this person, doesn't have that outlet. So it's like this is how they... That's the way it's supposed to be. Of course. The talent, you get the... But when you don't have it, you don't get to get it. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? But now you're like... But she's like, yeah, but I want it. So I'll do this. I'll do this montage of how I travel as a COVID-conscious person.

Put the N95. And I like that I get home and I test several times for a few days. And her nose was so red. Fucking idiot. I hate it so much. You know what she's looking for here is somebody to go, thanks for doing that. Thanks for the tutorial on how to live this way. I wear a mask, so you wear a mask. I'm protecting you. Why aren't you protecting me?

i saw this old broad say that to this guy in brentwood when i was like during the covet heyday she came on she had like a like she was a welder like a mask around wrapped around the head and this guy was like walking up she goes i'm protecting you why aren't you protecting me he's like i'm outside i'm about to walk in like an old yeah hysteria

The favorite thing to do is just sometimes when it's done washing. Basically, when a dog eats a snake, it's like cooking a burrito on the floor.

You just got to make sure you wash it off the roof and put it in your laundry basket. That's the end of the video. So now I'm understanding. Hey, the kids are not on any of your social media. Right. I would be even afraid to put this thing up. This guy's out there. He's out there. Yeah. You know, you don't really see. Yeah.

the tats on the freckled people that much. That's one of the things that stood out to me is how many freckles he has. And then you go, you don't really see somebody really tatted up who's got a lot of prevalent freckles. This is so true, Tom. And you know what we found too is there's a direct correlation, Sebastian, between facial tattoos and crystal meth use.

It's a direct pipeline to getting facial tattoos. Although I'm sensing some fentanyl here. I don't think it's just meth. Oh, interesting, Tom. Because he's a little too... Like most meth people would be like, you got to fucking throw it in the laundry. That's just... And to answer your question, like, are we afraid we'll put this up? The guy might... They don't live long enough to come after you.

All these guys on the walls, they're not really around anymore except for that fat red-haired one. Oh my God. What? He's around. He's around. That's it. Everyone else is around. Oh, Tommy John's is. He's around too. Oh yeah, RPC. Yeah. The rest, I don't know. Jesus.

To describe Jesus's horse, he's extremely tall, very well muscled. This horse's personality is often very serious, which is a foil to Jesus's personality, which is often laughing. Not always. Jesus knows when to be serious, when to carry out missions, and when to work, essentially. But Jesus is often really loving life, joyful.

And his horse is pretty much always serious. And a few weeks ago, I got to visit with both of them. And Jesus was with his horse. And I got to ride with Jesus on this horse in the spirit. These are experiences I'm having spiritually. I don't know what's going on. And I saw the horse turn around. Okay. So I think we get it. Ha ha ha.

Well, have you ever thought about the qualities of Jesus's horse? What the personality might be? Serious? Silly? Isn't it kind of interesting that you go like, oh yeah, all these people are out there. Like the FaceTag guy, Jesus's horse lady. Like they're all out there. This is all in our, this is person, this lady could be next to you at Starbucks. Yeah. No, they're out there. They're living and you are showcasing them. Yeah.

Behind me is the royal procession. King Richard himself and his queen are walking by. Yes, every so often they walk through the fairgrounds just to greet the populace, you know. And of course, I mean, this is just a Rassos fair. He's our real king, but we still pay deference to him. Since we are getting into character for a medieval Rassos fair, we do... I think I've seen him in the belly room, this guy. I'm going to throw up. It's the...

The Ding Dong Show? The Ding Dongs. Ding Dong Show, yeah. Do you realize too, like I was talking to Kurt Fox about this, like how on a lot of nights you're at the comedy store and you're standing in the hallway and you, you know, you see, maybe you see like somebody you know or a fan walks by and then you see some of the other comics and you're like, oh, this is a fucking mental asylum. Like,

There's so many lunatics in this. This guy would fit right in if he was like, I'm doing a spot. You're like, oh yeah, sure. I was fucking the king's lair today. You'd think that he's like, he'd fit right into our world. Oh, that's why I love him. This is a peer of mine. Yeah. What do you think? We go to work, and these are our co-workers. Yeah, totally. Totally. Hold on, Sebastian. Have you come across the Disney adult phenomenon? No.

Oh, where adult people go to Disneyland? Yeah. Do you not have 15 minutes on this? Because it feels like you should. I know. Well, they make the shirts. Fucking rope droppers. Rope droppers? What is it? Rope what? Rope droppers? What's a rope dropper? A rope dropper is somebody... Because what's the other one? A park closer. So a rope dropper is the person who waits until they open the park. In other words...

So they're there at like five in the morning and they're like just waiting until they go. Now it's open. And then the park closer is the person who goes until they're like, you got to get the fuck out of here. It's midnight. You got to go home. Yeah. So there's, there's, there's, you know,

Both sides. Both sides. Is the same person? Could they be two? Usually not. No. Usually they're pretty separate. They're quips in the blood, you know. They're totally different. It identifies you as a morning person or an evening person, basically. What are you? Are you a park closer or a rope dropper? If I had to choose, I'd be a park closer. But as a dad. As a dad, we come at 10. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

and we leave at 10 50 yeah exactly yeah you went to this i don't know if you guys good yeah the crazy thing was last time we went we took we're like all right we make this big trip go to disneyland literally they're like at 10 you know walking around paid for the extra privilege of things and then first thing we get on and then my kid's like can we go i'm like can we go he's like yeah i go we fucking flew out here to do this he's like

All right. Just couldn't be less fucking amused by any of them. Well, listen, I remember going to Epcot Center. They took me to Epcot when I was 10, and they were so excited. My parents were like, hey, we're going to Italy, and then we're going to Spain, this and that and the other thing. I'm like, let's get the fuck out of here. It's boring. I didn't want to be there. It's my dream. It was my dream, not Ellis. Exactly. Now, let me ask you this. This is a renaissance fair. Would you rather be...

a Renaissance Faire adult like this gentleman or a Disney adult. I never liked the Renaissance Faire. Disgusting. Never liked it. I'm with you. Just a weird vibe. I'd rather have a year pass to Disney than go to fucking a Renaissance Faire for an afternoon. For sure. There's pavement at Disneyland. You're just walking on filthy dirt. I don't know how they go to the bathroom here. Also, the fact that everybody who's really into this is so into the role play aspect. So into it. Like you meet these psychos who are like,

really into characters at Disney but there's also just people like oh this is a fun environment but these guys are seriously like m'lady do you have the right instrument to open this door they're too involved they're too psychotic it makes me nervous did you get your turkey leg they like to eat the big leg it's too goofy what is it what was that ask her

It's just a cool video. I don't know. It's a guy on TikTok. Yeah, but where is he? Is that his house? He's got VHS tapes and he's got a Tigger the Tiger behind him. He's got some dolls and poor lighting and poor framing. He's perfect for the show. Thank you, Christina. That one was seriously disturbing. Da-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha-ha

in America. You can catch Sebastian on the It Ain't Right Tour now. Check him out. Season two of Bookie this December. Did you like that song?

See, this is, we grew up, we had home videos, right? Right. You did home videos and nobody saw them. Those stay at home. I know. That's true. That's a great point. Now, home videos make it on your show. It's amazing. You know, my favorite is there's a whole lane. We have a literal library of guys, usually guys, who turn the recording on and they just kind of, they look in the lens and

And then they upload that. They just upload. Because they don't know how to do what they're doing. They don't know that they're recording. And then they just see share and they're like, share. And they just post it. And it's just them staring at the lens. There's thousands of them. Wow. This is a whole other world, bro. Yeah. It's a shame.

That's right. So you don't see me every night.

I've been in a hotel room with him. Isn't that crazy? You have? Yeah. He was on the show? Yeah, yeah. He's been on the show a lot. So what's the vibe here? Does this guy work? Oh boy, should we show him what the vibe is? I don't know if he can work. This is how we discovered him. Black guys love to fuck and fuck good.

You're a hot black guy and you want to fuck me at 23:95 if you want to move in you can move in but you gotta fuck me I need I need to be fucked a lot man. Get free food free rent and everything else man. Here's the deal man

Men from jail, homeless, or a thug want to come move in. A friend can move in with you, too, man. Free rent, you get a lease on a key. Fuck me. Piss on me. Beat me. I'm home now. You see me, want to come over today and try it out? Try it out, man. Yeah, that's how we found him. And then he's just been, like, you know, doing stuff. Yeah, total pig. Wild, dirty, and filthy.

He's been posting videos for a long time. Guys, guys in the booth, how do you feel about this game? We knew who we signed up for. Yeah, I know, but inviting him, were you there in the hotel room? Was there a security there? Did we have security? I was not there. We weren't there. You got minced, though. No security? We think he's relatively harmless.

That's true. He's not, though. He's harmless. We've had multiple run-ins with him. He's sweet. Yeah, I'm going to come now. I'm going to come now. I'm coming. What the fuck are we watching? This is YouTube. It's on his YouTube. This is on YouTube. This is on YouTube, yeah. They don't take this down. So...

I think I want Sebastian on every show. Your disgust makes me so happy. This makes me so fun. I'm stunned. I am fucking stunned that this is going on.

You want to give him a call? He has a multiple number. Welcome to Lucifer's Lake. I'm your host, RPC Band, and we are here at 2395 Wagner House, apartment 2C, building 18, 124th and 1st Avenue, east side of Harlem. That's right, guys. You hear me right loud. I am here at 917-353-2913.

Okay, so there's multiple numbers. You can always reach out. Tommy, remember when he would upload his videos and the title would be like XJL9955? It would be like web code. That was an awesome time. I remember that.

Yeah. Yeah. Wow. So much. It does nothing for you, huh? You know, it's, it's, uh, I see where you could find this, uh, entertaining. I see it. Yeah. But I look at it and I, I, I don't feel good. Yeah. I understand that. This is eyeopening. Yeah. You can be adding all this cool stuff to your show.

Oh, my God. So what do you and Pete Correale talk about then? We just talk about our personal and professional lives, just kind of two buddies talking. Oh, get off. It's just a sound effect. Oh, okay. I thought he called in. No.

Yeah, I'm going to call you. Oh, come on. That was rough every time. No, I found this very entertaining. It was very entertaining. Now, we love Sebastian. We love him so much. If you haven't yet, you've got to see Sebastian live. He is really one of the best in the game. And check him out in season two of Bookie this December. Thanks for coming in, man. Thanks for having me, guys. Always fun to see you. Appreciate it. Nice seeing you. We love you.

Black guys who love to fuck, fuck piss on me Black guys who love to fuck, fuck piss on me Black guys who love to fuck, fuck good, who matter? Black guys who love to fuck, fuck piss on me Black guys who love to fuck, fuck piss on me Black guys who love to fuck, fuck good, who matter? Black guys who love to fuck, fuck piss on me

Black guys, we love to fuck, fuck this up.

Men from jail, homeless women.

I want to deliver it.

Hey, you just watched an episode of Your Mom's House. I hope you enjoyed it. And if not, watch another one. Maybe you'll like that one. They're everywhere. Look, I don't know. Replace them in like cubes or squares or whatever. Just click another one. Maybe you'll find one you like. Or someone will get hurt and everybody likes that. Don't forget to subscribe.