This week on Your Mom's House. So basically, what you're saying is like, if you're a dog owner, you're a slave owner. Whoa! My girl like, you in here watching condom videos? Because she saw it in the history. I'm like, what the fuck? A burglary and possession of a controlled substance. That black dick drove her crazy. Welcome, welcome to your mom's house. ♪♪
Mom, Dad, I humbly suggest you save some money and shop Amazon for back to school. It's for my growth, meaning my body's growing at an alarming rate. And clothes you buy me this year will be very small very soon. Plus, the clothes I love today will be out of style tomorrow. But at least your wallet doesn't have to be my fashion victim. Eh.
if you shop low prices for school at Amazon. Hopefully this is helpful. Amazon. Spend less, small more. Good morning, good afternoon, good evening, whenever you're watching. Pull your jeans up over your clavicle and get ready for an action-packed episode of Your Mom's House. We both dressed very elegantly today, I feel like. Yeah, this is kind of an homage to Oscar the Grouch. The color, the fabric. I don't know, I just felt silly. I felt kind of silly today.
I was happy to see you today. I went to Canada. My motherland came back. I saw a woman with her tits out just like in the streets. That's so wild. Isn't that great? Yeah, it's great. And she wasn't a meth head. Which city? I was in Toronto. Toronto. Through Chinatown. And she was just like a normal light-skinned black lady. Yeah. With these huge tits. She looked like Nell. Remember Nell Carter from Gimme a Break? Yeah. But not as fat. Well, how much not as fat? Like...
like 30 pounds less, but she was big and she had like milk duds, like, like milk chocolate. Ah, dude, it was well. And you know what I thought about? Remember that time in Judork titties when, when I turned 30 and that woman walked up to us in central park and asked us for a light, big tits. And we remembered her tits. Yeah. And you remember how they moved? They were swinging in circles. She was, she was, something was off.
Yeah, but this woman was just normal. And so I found out with huge tits though, and just walking like with a normal grocery bag and her tits were moving kind of cool like that too. And then I was like, how is this possible? Well, it turns out in the province of Ontario, a woman can go topless. Yeah. And then I found out in Austin, you can go topless as well. Yeah. Because there's the, what's it called? Barton Springs. Yeah. Yeah. Tits out. The hippie chicks out dicks out too. Isn't it full new there? Can you put your dick out there?
That would be awesome. Really? I thought it was nude over there. I think that's Hippie Hollow. Hippie Hollow is a nude beach. But Barton Springs? You can go tits at Barton Springs, I think. Yeah. Tits no dick? Yeah. Tits no dick? Damn. Would you go dick out if you could? No. Well, because then I got to thinking, wouldn't it be kind of neat just for me to try it one time, just to walk down the street? Oh, you can try it. Yeah.
You can try it. What do you think? I mean, do you think people will be like, is that Christina P with her tits out? Somebody would. Sure. Yeah. Somebody's going to be like, oh, that's Christina P with her tits out. Yeah. But imagine how great that must feel. I mean, you guys get to do it all the time. Jogging shirtless and shit. I guess. I mean, I don't really feel like
dick out is a huge desire for most guys though you know why i don't know i don't feel like most of us are like damn you know this place is pretty cool it just sucks that my dick can't be up i don't feel like that's a thought that i don't do you wish your dick was not normal guys not really i mean just close barton springs is fucking cold it is cold but i mean when you're out at a park or whatever are you thinking like i wish i could be full nude right now
No. I think the only person that thinks like that is Bert. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. It's a Florida thing. Yeah, but no, that's an attention. Like he wants somebody to be like, oh, look, that guy's naked. But here's the thing is that I would like to be topless but not get the attention for it. I would like to feel free without people staring. It's not going to happen. It's not going to happen. You could do it in private. I could. You could do it at your house outside.
But then one of my kids, you see, you know, my dad, my dad was always sunbathing in the nude. That's crazy. I hated it. That is crazy. It was so inappropriate. And I would have to like my dad and I'd be like, dad, can you put a bathing suit on? And he'd be like, no. And I'm like, but my friends are coming over. And he's like, okay, well tell me when they're here and then I'll put on my bathing suit. I'm like,
Ew. So I would have to like my friends, I'd have to wait in the front and then my friends would pull up and then I'd run. Dad, my friends are here. Put a bathing suit on. And then he'd be like, ugh. Yeah. Ugh. What a chore to cover my genitals up. I know, isn't that fucking weird? Beyond weird. It wasn't like he had a boner or anything. It was just flopping. And I just was like, I don't want to see it. So I had to tell my mom to tell him, like, could you please cover your genitals in front of our little girl? And then he did.
Oh, he did. But it took until I was like 10 or something. So strange. I know. Yeah. Also, like, really? You need to be naked that much? He needed to because he didn't want tan lines. He wanted the complete tan. I know. You need your dick to be tan? Apparently. Wait, yeah. Doesn't his dick burn? Why wouldn't his dick and balls burn? Well, yeah, it's skin. Yeah. I mean. Whoa. Wow, you're having a real Pazurski effect. Yeah.
But why wouldn't it burn your balls, dude? That's like really sensitive skin. I mean, I'm assuming it can. He probably didn't lotion it up. No way did he put lotion on it. SPF 50 on your dick and balls? But back then it was the 80s and he would actually put like baby oil. Yeah, that's what everybody did. To get extra dark. So insane. Your mom was a big tanner. There's photos. There's that one photo where she looks actually of a different race. Yeah. Yeah. And I won't say which one, but it's darker. Yeah.
It's really dark. Oh, I know. And then you look at it and you're like, what the fuck? And she's like, we would lay out from sunrise to sundown. Like just. I know. On the beach in Lima, just 12 hours.
It's crazy. She doesn't have skin cancer. She does. She does? Yeah. She's had like all types of shit removed from her nose and face. Yeah, yeah. She paid the price. My dad too had big chunks of his nose removed. And it's such a bummer because a tan really does look good. It looks great. It looks so healthy. Yeah. Like even now my tan is faded from the summer and I feel like I look like I'm dying. I see it too. Yeah. You know what I'm going to do is spray tan. I'm going to try it.
really on um bart is so big on this now that's all he talks about yeah because you do look healthier and thinner it makes you look way thinner it looks good it looks really good and you do people are like where are you coming from yeah yeah all right so cool i'll try it i'll try you want to do with me sure i'll try it cool let's go yeah how dark you're gonna go your mom dark my mom in the fucking 70s how dark can i go without you can choose whatever
I think they start you off gradual because the lady when I called in, she was like, well, we're going to start you off kind of slow and then you progress. But I don't want to look orange or too fake. I think you can make that happen. I can't wait, dude. I'm going to be so tan and lovely. I think there's a whole thing about how you sleep the first night though, right? Yeah.
Like on my back? No, no, no. You have to wear clothes or something. You're going to stain everything if you don't. Well, they'll tell me. Yeah, they tell you the whole thing. We'll find out. We'll find out. All right. Let's start the show. You ready? Sure, buddy. Let's go.
Stukiewicz claims he hit a curb and the debris accidentally fell out. It's a little illegal to leave the wood in the street, so what I'm asking is... I'm going... I mean, you don't have to ask me, and I don't take no orders from no woman, by the way. By the way, I don't take no orders from no women. Stukiewicz says she was planning to go back and clean up the wood. I live in Warren, and I'm cleaning up Detroit. Go figure that one out. But somebody said that they tried to yell at you to come back, and you kept going, and then... It must have been a woman, and I don't listen to women yelling. I tell them to shut up.
Who is Randy? Don't bring anyone mother to bed. Stupid bitch. Welcome to your mom's house. With Tom Segura. And Christina Pagitsky. Welcome to your mom's house. Mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom, mom
Mama. I don't take no orders from no woman. This guy has a whole vibe. I like it. I don't take no orders from no woman. From no woman. That's like a Chicago. I thought it was a Chicago accent. Kind of has a little bit of that. Yeah. In there. Yeah. Who knows where he's from? I don't listen to women yelling. I tell them to shut up. I don't listen to women yelling.
I love that she kept her composure, the reporter. It's pretty great. Yeah. Keeps the story going, just cuts right to the next edit. You know what's so fun about society is that we've publicly shamed people not to usually say this stuff out loud, but they all still think it. Of course. And they still feel it. It's like...
I remember my dad saying like every dude, this was like normal. Yeah. This is like blue collar guys. Like shut up, stupid broad. Yeah. Which I'm sure they all still not all, but they do. Yeah. By the way, I don't take no orders from no women. He's got cool. I can't say actually, to be fair, I can't just say blue collar. Yeah. No, they're sweet. No, no. I'm just saying that like it, this doesn't apply just to, it applies to men.
right yeah like basically every you can just get a guy in a certain situation in a certain mood you know i mean like yeah if the circumstances are right he'll be like he'll just be like i'm like fucking woman yeah but to that same effect like with dudes i'll be like you guys are so fucking retarded yeah yeah there's no feelings no yeah everybody everybody has it in them to say that to say terrible things for sure yeah i don't believe this by this shit it was like
Oh, so when, when people start to like lecture, Oh, about speaking this way and like, don't act like you've never let something like that out of your mind. You liar. Yeah, I agree. We all think terrible things. It's like, you can't stop people's terrible thoughts. You've always said the perfect thing. You think the perfect thing 24 seven. That's why when people fuck up publicly and everybody, Oh, you know, I get it. Like it feels good.
to like really stick it to that person. But you're like, yeah, you've said the same thing. You're just not a public figure. It's so holier than thou. It really is. Yeah, but that's why this guy's the best. This guy's great. He should be the mayor of fucking Detroit. Babe, I like his intense sunglasses. It really makes you look like you're going fast. That's a very cool guy style, the wraparounds. Wraparound, wraparound. Those don't fall off easy. No.
Yeah. He's cool. He's keeping him on for the interview so you don't see what his eyes are really all about. The emotion in them. Fucking dumb broad asking me questions. Shut up. Shut up. Yeah. He basically, the real story is that this guy got cornered, right? He's cornered. And what happens when sometimes when you are cornered, you're shamed. Yep. Some people are embarrassed.
And some people lash out. Yeah. You corner somebody and then they're like, fuck you. Like that's what he's doing right now. Yeah, definitely. It's interesting that he agreed to the interview. I know. I guess to just to lash out at her publicly. He's like, can I yell at a woman while I'm doing this? Okay. That's so cool. Yeah.
Because if he's a man, it's a different interview. Yeah, that's true. I wonder what his point of view would be. He's like, yeah. He's accused of illegally dumping. That's a funny one. Dumping. Where'd you dump, man? Yeah, pretty cool. Yeah, pretty cool. What? Well, I was going to say, it's a...
I guess the first time in a while now where we don't have the capital J sitting in the booth. You know, it's been an emotional journey. Yeah. Without Nadav, we've gone through different emotions and stuff. It is sad. But I have to say on the bright side, Annie got a pretty great desk out of it. Yeah. That is the upside. Yeah.
That's what he's always been talking about too. I want my work area. In a lot of ways you could say that Nadav isn't here so that
And he could get a better. Right. I think so too. Cause I remember we had, we had that final meeting and then he was like, you Jew motherfucker. You that's, that's any right there, but it is a silver lining to a sad thing. And by the way, might I compliment you any, your desk is way cleaner and better than the dogs. Yeah. Oh, he's got an adopt. Yeah. Yeah. Um, he's got cool stuff. Also, I had, I made an error. Um, you,
You may have noticed on social media, I was wrong. Nadav is not dead.
That's my bad. I thought it was in memoriam. Found out a little bit later that he's actually alive. We both didn't know what the word memoriam. We just thought, remember someone who left the job. Yeah, yeah. And then I also had his, instead of putting the time that he worked here, I put when he was born to when he worked here. So that also gave the impression that he passed away. Because I posted the same thing and so many people were upset. People calling us and stuff. Literally, my cousin just called and he was like,
His voice broke. And I was like, what's up? He's like, I just saw Dr. Doff. I'm like, oh yeah, he's not dead. No. He's not dead. We just didn't know the word memoriam meant. A lot of people also were speculating that they're like, what's up with the marathon though? And
I don't know. I did see that Nadav is still training. But he said, remember when he was here, that he's not going to do the New York City one, but that he will run a marathon. In the future. In 12 to 18 months. We don't know what that is. I'd like to know. I'd like to support him. 12 to 18 months is between a year and a year and a half. Very good, Tom. You just did that math right there. Yeah. I thought that's what you were asking. You said, I don't know what that is.
No, meaning which marathon that will be. Oh, right, right. Which one he will choose. Well, I think... But you're right, I probably didn't know. I do think that the New York City Marathon will tell him to go F off because he's not going to do the first time. In November, we had him booked. But yeah, maybe like a more local one to start. Local one. Smaller one. That'd be cool.
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Hey, can I tell you, I had the most fucking retarded Pajitsky effect this weekend. I think they all are, but go ahead. Bro, you're going to, I mean, you know, I'm such a fucking idiot. Yeah. So like for the longest time in my life, I don't wash my hair every single day. Okay. So what I do is I'll put my hair in a ponytail and then get under the water and then my hair, the tips will get wet or I will shower like this.
so that my hair doesn't get wet right like that and then i was watching tick tock and this girl goes i put on a shower cap and my hair doesn't get wet what bro you can did you realize full full fucking dude my whole life i've never used a shower cap i just didn't know they i didn't know you could like my mother never did it
And then there was a free one in the hotel. I mean, I don't even have hair. And I've seen shower caps my whole life. I know what they're for. Never saw one. None of the women in my life wore them. Like my mother, my stepmom. So you're just grasping now that you can throw on a shower cap. You don't have to worry about your hair getting wet? Yeah. And I'm telling you, for years, I would shower like this with my neck. What is wrong with you? Because I'm fucking stupid. Just when I get out of jail. What does it do? I mean, because I'm fucking stupid. When you get out of the hospital, are we getting out of jail? And guess what?
I'll crack your fucking head open again because I'm stupid. Yeah, because I'm fucking stupid. I don't give a fuck. I don't give a fuck. I don't give a fuck about jail. Yeah. Fuck. I did. Yeah. Dude. Well, that's pretty... That is extreme. That might be number one. You think that's worse than the Lenovo incident? Yeah. Which people really... I mean, first of all, you're a woman. And women... Barely. I don't listen to women, but...
But women are known for like their hair maintenance. I know. And you actually, you know, you always are getting your hair colored and treated and cut. I know. And you're saying that like it had never occurred to you to wear a shower cap? Not once in my entire life. Not once in my life. It took a TikTok video? Can I tell you something really bad too? Sure. I mean, really bad. Yeah. It's really bad. You know, okay. I was, you know how like sometimes in the airport, right?
you'll see a black lady and she'll wear like a shower cap. Well, I don't know. Right. Over to cover the hair. Why do they do that? Because it's nappy. And they haven't had a chance to have their hair done. So they're covering. So I, and that's, that's honestly my theory as to why you didn't know about it because my girl did the same thing. She said to me once that like, um, yeah, I can't take a shower right now because then my hair's going to get all wet. So like, I don't want to do that right now. I'm like, why don't you just wear a shower cap? She's like,
Well, I don't have one of those. And I'm like, yeah, why don't you have? Have you ever used one? She's like, I guess not. How do you not know about shower caps? But hearing you say this.
maybe that's just a black girl thing because y'all didn't even use that as a kid. That's what I'm saying. Black girls needed to use that their whole fucking life. That's what I'm saying. Even dudes would sleep with do-rags. In college, every black guy on the hall had a do-rag on. That's what I'm saying. We can't just wake up and go. We wake up, our hair looks like shit. So we have to cover it. So I thought that, oh, but shower caps are only for black women in the airports. Not for me.
I swear, I told you the thought was stupid. I fucking warned you that I'm retarded. I told you before I said the thought. You can't be mad at me. We just said it with this guy. So when you see a shower cap, are you going to the airport? Pretty much. Yeah? Because I've only ever seen shower caps. Hey, you're not black. Why the fuck are you wearing that? Do you say that? Yeah.
I mean, I'm not going to lie. Every shower cap like pack that you buy in the store, though, you go to CVS, buy a shower cap. There's always a black girl on the fucking cover. No, yeah. I've seen what you're... I've seen black women literally at the airport also in shower caps. I know what you're talking about. That's why I thought... I never was like, ah, this is just for them.
I totally did. Cause I thought, Hey, they're just relegated to the airport. But even in the, like you go to any hotel, any hotel, right? You never were like, Oh, this is for the blacks. Like that. That's what you're saying. I did. I swear to God. Or I was like, this isn't for me. This is for like these, this is for other people. Yeah. To keep your hair. Yeah. I didn't think that I could do it, babe. You've known me for 20 years. Have you ever seen me use mental illness?
You ever seen me use a shower cap? No, of course not. I figured I don't deserve. I also didn't know you were like, how could I possibly, you could use the thing that was designed to keep your hair dry. And do you want to know something even sadder? What could possibly be sadder than this? That because of the lack of the shower cap and I put my hair in a ponytail and do this, whenever there's a rain shower in a hotel, I can't use the rain shower because it'll get my hair wet.
How often do you get it wet on purpose, though? I wash my hair every other day. Oh, okay. And I could use the rain shower every other day if we had one. But I cannot use it because I'm like, oh, God, it's going to get my hair wet. What happens if it gets wet? And then I have to wash it and then dry it. And then I style it. It's a whole thing, man. It's a whole fucking thing. And you want your oils in your hair. It's good for your hair. This one is, as the kids say, this one hits different.
I'm concerned. Really? Yeah. This was the deal breaker? This is just crazy. Yeah. This is insane. Well, I'll make sure to share all my dumb stuff, all my dumb thoughts with you. You got it. Wow. I feel like I want to hear Eni's cap report now that we're talking about crazy thoughts. Okay. A cap report? Is there a cap report? I mean, there's always a cap report. There's so many. In an era of misinformation and artificial intelligence, we don't know what's real and what's fake.
There's only one news source you can trust, and that's the Cap Report. Okay. But this week, it's none other than dogs. What? Wait, what? Dogs. Dogs? What about dogs? Man's best friend, huh? What other friend do you have that you say that you own as property? What other friend? You don't say that. You know what you do say that to? Slaves. Slaves. Dogs are slaves? Dogs are slaves. You just blew my mind. Dogs are slaves.
And they're afraid of us, and that's why they pretend to be your best friend. And their food source is also you. Dogs are just wolves that we lied to for tens of thousands of years. Whoa. Until they thought we were so much their friend that their entire life depends on our happiness with them. We make them do tricks. They want to eat what they want. We say no. It doesn't sound like a friend to me. And then if you get tired of your...
friend or you don't you you could you drop them off to get killed yeah take them out back what type of fucking friend is that so basically there's a there's a version of what you're saying is like if you're a dog owner you're a slave owner whoa right like especially you know what's really interesting is the people who go i would have never been a slave owner like there's people that tell themselves that and then they have four dogs looks like you have four slaves right
Proud slave owner. Yeah. Yeah, they got to change all that, those bumper stickers. Well, I can tell you proudly, we don't have any dogs in our home. That's right, Tom. Because we found that we were, well, our child is allergic to slaves. I mean, dogs. And he was having a horrible reaction. And so no more slaves in our house. Yep. In fact, slavery, we're so anti-slavery, it's in our DNA. Like, we're such good people. That's true. Mm-hmm. Yeah.
We physically can't tolerate slavery. This is a really cool capra for it. More to come. Yeah. More to come soon. I think you're going to be, you're going to see a lot of people giving up their dogs in the next few weeks. Being like, I do not want to be associated with this hatred.
Interesting. Dog slavery. Yeah. Yeah. Man's best friend or man's best slave. Yeah. Hey, where do they sleep? Sleep on the floor. Sleep on a floor bed. Yo. The more you think about it, the clearer it gets. You feed them in a bowl on the floor. Dirty water. I don't care. Drink your dirty water. Or toilet water even when they choose to do that. And what happens like do a lot of people when the dog has a mistake, they hit their dog? Yep. They hit them. They hit them. That's so true. Yeah. They kick, hit, yank.
Yell at, scream. Just like in Roots. Just like in Roots. That's how they punished him. Whoa, my dad was such a bad slave owner that he wouldn't even let our slave sleep inside. That's insane. You're telling me, I mean, this was way before the Cap Report. Yeah. Your dad is...
He's coming up a lot today, guys. I must be doing some work unconsciously on him. But you were like, you had this cute little dog. It was a cockapoo. Elvis was his name. It's like a cute dog. And you're like, yeah, we had to like talk my dad into letting the dog in the house. He's like, it's a dog. It sleeps outside. I mean, in the valley in LA, it gets cold. It gets cold. So cold.
And Elvis used to howl when he was so cold outside. Oh, my God. Let me in. And it wasn't until I got my stepmom when I was 12, and she's like, you have to let the dog sleep inside. It's going to die. Did he howl like, sweet, low, like that? What was he singing? Was he singing songs? What? I don't know. I'm asking. I don't know. I don't know. The Song of the South? Yeah, I don't know. Whew. Yeah. It's crazy. Okay.
I can't believe that he would do that, that he would be like, sleep the dog. So your stepmom was like... Yeah, she's like, you have to let the dog in. He's going to die. And then my dad would also use the hose to bathe the dog. To wash it, yeah. It's cold. She's like, you have to put it in a bath. When's the last time you saw people getting sprayed by hoses? Whoa! I'm just saying. I'm trying to let the people know. Would you ever... Have you ever...
had a dog in your house growing up a slave of course not no no neither one i've had cats but cats have always been cats so you can't make a cat what you want it to be that's why cats are cool they hate you it's gonna be cats no matter what the fuck you do right you could put them inside but man you open that door just a little bit that motherfucker's gone and what's the language they use when you get an unruly they're like we gotta break this like we gotta send it to like you know obedient school yeah train this thing this thing has a mind of its own yeah
Dude, Annie, you just blew our minds. Wait, can I tell you one other cool thing my dad would do? Nothing more hateful than a dog owner. Can I tell you what else my dad did? He would go on vacation and leave Elvis in the backyard with just a bag full of food. I swear to God. Your dad's a fucking psychopath, dude. That is absolutely insane. And then he's like, oh, come check on Elvis every few days, my mom and I. And we would come and check on him and he'd be in the backyard forever.
I'm out. This begs the question, why my mother? And where did he get his water from? The pool. The pool. Yeah. Pool water. The pool. And he lived out in the high. And a bag of food. For a cockapoo. And then his cover, his cover was, the dog was what color? White. White. Yeah. Sure. So that was his out. Oh, it's a white dog. We know what he was really thinking. It's a dog slave. Yeah.
But why didn't my mother just go, let's bring the dog to our house? Do you know what I mean? Like, what was wrong with her, too? I wouldn't let a dog suffer outside. No, that's terrible. That's so terrible. It's terrible. Terrible. I'd be like, just, we'll take it. Also, he saw nothing wrong with it. He was like, it's a dog. Yeah. That's where dogs live, outside. And that's how slave owners used to see their property, too. Yeah. They want people to them. Wow. That's, um, this is really getting set. Let's, uh...
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Maybe let's cleanse the palate, okay?
Don't you feel better now? That was the best fight. Isn't that nice? I like old immigrants. Yeah. They are the best fighters. That reminds me of that one that we saw at the airport that one time, you know? You know what I'm talking about? Which one? You suck a duck, suck a dick. Yeah. Yeah. I fuck you like this. Fuck you, fuck you hard. Yeah. You remember that one?
What was it called? You remember what it was called? I don't. It was like some Pakistani official or something. Yeah, it was official. It was like a... Yeah, but this is exactly what my stepdad sounded like, by the way. Same vibe. Can you find it? I don't know. This is 100% my stepdad. Fuck you, suck a dick. Suck my dick. This is his accent, too. You think this guy's Indian? Yeah. Yeah. Or if he's not Indian, he's from the region. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You suck a dick. You suck my dick, too. Suck my dick. Fuck your mother ten times. Okay? Okay.
Fuck your mother ten times. And suck my dick a thousand times. Also, like, they didn't get... They also, for the insults, they stayed pretty calm this time. This one, they were like, yeah, no, fucking suck this dick. Okay? Yeah.
You know why? They're not like screaming that crazy. No, because this is every day. Because these guys say this stuff enough to people that it's no big deal. No, I swear. Like my stepdad would insult people constantly. What the fuck? You were raised by two cool as fuck guys. Suck my dick, suck the dick, fuck you. They're always fighting with people. This could be like an everyday thing, man. Dude, maybe that's an Indian thing. Are you Indian? Am I Indian? No, I mean like listeners. Is this like just an Indian guy thing where they just talk shit nonstop? I don't know. I've always met like such like...
laid back Indian people. Like sweet Indians. Yeah. I've never had a confrontation like this ever with an Indian person. This must be more common. You know who I have had confrontations with are dogs. They get real loud sometimes.
They bark like a motherfucker. But Indians are usually really nice, you know? Yeah. Calm. That's the Indians you know. Yeah, I don't know. I mean... You really know them. They ain't that calm. I'm telling you. My fucking stepfamily, my stepdad would talk some shit. And if it was another Indian guy, that guy talks some shit. I feel like this is a cultural thing. Really? He talks some shit. That's why he's so fucking calm. He does it every day. No, he is. He is. You suck my dick. No, you suck my dick. I fuck you. I fuck you ten times.
So crazy, man. I fuck you ten times. Can I see your sick dick? Can I see your sick dick? Let me hear it. Thousand times fuck you. That was so calm, though. Thousand times fuck you. That's how he said it. Wait, can you replay the whole argument? Sure. I feel like I'm missing pieces of... Crazy man. You? Always I'm crazy. Always. You're always crazy. My birth time I'm crazy. My birth time. And that time. I fuck crazies. Okay? I fuck crazies. That guy is crazy. Can I see your sick dick?
You fucked me? You fucked me? Yes. Motherfucker, yeah. I fucked crazy. Fuck your mother. Fuck your mother. Ten times. Ten times fuck your mother. Fuck you. Thousand times fuck you. Fuck my dick.
These guys know each other, and he's like, well, you're always saying this crazy shit. Yeah, always, yeah. You're always with this. This confrontation is very... This is not new. That's why. This guy right here is really sick of the other guy. Yeah. He's like, you're fucking something wrong with me. Always. You're always talking about your dick. Yeah, there's something wrong with me. By the way, so the video, it's the Pakistani minister. Oh, yeah. He's at Dulles International Airport. His entourage is on their best behavior upon his arrival to D.C. Check this out. This is such a classic.
Pretty great.
I fuck you right here. Yeah. Yeah. Telling you, this is an Indian thing. Same vibe. It's the same fucking, same shit, different toilet, as they say. This must be. Well, I'd love to hear from some Pakistani and Indian people about. Yeah, bro. Are you guys secretly the most confrontational motherfuckers in the world? Because these are very like parallel things. Yes. It's all just like, I fuck you here, right here. I fuck you. Like, fuck your mother a thousand times. Okay. Yeah.
Yeah, it's great. Fuck your mother a thousand times. It's so good. And only if only a non-native English speaker would come up with it, which I love so much to creativity. And also you got to give credit to somebody cursing in their second or third language. It's not the same thing. It's not. You don't have the same access to the words. No.
That's why. If you were speaking to an American guy and he was like, I fuck your mother a thousand times, you'd be like, what the fuck is wrong with you? But when somebody foreign says it, you get what they're saying because that probably is a translation. Right. And their language, in his language, that's how they tell you in fucking Hindi or whatever. Yeah, this guy in Urdu. Urdu, yeah. Right? Isn't that Urdu? There's all these fucking languages. Pakistani. Yeah. That's not Pakistani. I think it's Urdu. Right? Urdu? Isn't that my wrong? I don't know.
By the way, my Indian stepdad was born in Pakistan and then he spoke that. I thought your stepdad was born in India. Right. Turns out I texted my stepsister and he started his life in Pakistan, but then because of the war or whatever, his family moved to India. Okay. So then let's go back here. So he's two kinds. Your fucking stepdad is Pakistani. But he's Indian raised. Indian national now, but he's, that's like you. You're not American. You're Canadian.
Hey, you can take as many oaths as you want. Canadian by birth, American by the grace of God. Sure. Yeah. You're a Canuck. You know, it's fucked up. You're a tits out. Big swing. How dare you? Ontario lady. I am. I'm so proud of that. Yeah. Yeah. I was thinking about that. I can't run for the presidency, which I'm super bummed about. You were right there. Yeah.
I don't know what we're going to do with that. My shower cap. Yeah. Okay. Well, you know what I was thinking? This is another stupid thought. Oh, Jesus. No, I'm not going to share it. Okay. Let's take a quick break. And.
And we'll be right back. And we are back with one of our all-time favorite, literally Hall of Fame guests, who you can see every Tuesday right here on the YMH YouTube channel. And you can listen to the podcast wherever you get your podcasts. It's Danny Brown, everybody. The Danny Brown Show. I also want to point out real quick, the new album, Cuaranta, is coming out soon. Yeah. No way. A few months. A few months, maybe. That's exciting. I mean, I got the date, but I don't think I can announce it yet.
Okay. Okay. And that one's incubated here in Austin, right? No, I actually recorded that in Detroit before I came. Oh, I still got my studio in Detroit. So when I want to, you know, but I got a little small home studio just to, you know, do demo stuff. But when I want to really like tap in, I,
You've had a year, dude. You've had a crazy, like, calendar. I mean, everything you've done. Definitely. By the way, you look great. Thank you. You look great. Do you feel good? Yeah, hell yeah. I mean, especially after quitting cigarettes. I mean, the drinking and the drugs was one thing. Because I didn't have any intentions on that. I didn't have any intentions on it. I still love weed. Like, I want to smoke weed every day. But it's like...
You know, I'm getting too old for that shit. Yeah, sure. Gotta let it go. Gotta let it go. And you feel great. Yeah, hell yeah. That's awesome. Hell yeah. I've been running and shit. What? I'm saying like,
Just even just for the point of like having breath control, even just even a lot of people have noticed that they've been just saying like me being on stage. You can just see that you can just see like a night and day performance. Yeah. Yeah. I just performed in Red Rocks this past weekend. How was it? And, you know, you know, Denver is like just being in Colorado, that fucking air and shit. Like I always have to get like fucking gas masks or oxygen tank shit. Yeah.
And drinking and smoking and shit. And I fucking just passed out damn near in the middle of a set. And I just breezed right through it. I was like, oh, shit. So just stuff like that is starting to make me feel like I definitely made the right choice, obviously, to live. But yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But I mean, so you did that. But you also, you've been, I mean, you've been...
Even like last year, you were like, I'm in and out of the studio. I don't know if that's when you were recording Quaranto or Scaring the Hoes. No, no. I was doing Scaring the Hoes then. Then? Yeah, yeah. But Quaranto's done, right? Yeah. That's been done for some time. It's been done for some time. But, you know, when I had... I used to work on albums and stuff. And, you know, it'd take a few years or whatever, but... Yeah, I'm so like... I mean, because it's not my world, like how...
I mean, you hear stories about sessions where people go in and it's like, well, we recorded, we went in and we did four records in a few hours. Like you just hit magic, I guess. And then there's the labor of, oh no, this has taken a lot longer. No, that's what I'm saying. I was used to like, you know, going in and just making records real quick and try to get an album out as fast as possible. But when I had worked with Q-Tip on You Know What I'm Saying, I just learned so much from him. And then it's all about the pulse. Like you pretty much put these songs down and pretty much ideas at that point.
Wasn't Q-Tip the one, didn't you tell me that like you went over there like the first time and you're like, oh sweet, I'm gonna work with Q-Tip. And then he just like left? Disappeared, yeah. He used to do it all the time. Cause he, I mean, he's a fucking genius. So you know, everybody gonna have their shit. But one time I remember we was recording and he was like, yeah, I'll highlight you. I'll be back in a minute.
And then he was like, just run through the verses. Just run through the verses. And I'm down there rapping the same song for two hours straight. And he was in the backyard having a barbecue and shit. I'm like, damn, you want to invite me to the barbecue? But that's the boy, though. I tap in with him every time. Yeah. That's got to be. I don't know, man. I feel like when do you still have that? I mean, not as much. But when you first link up with someone like that, is there a huge kind of intimidation factor kind of? No.
I mean, not intimidation, but, you know, like I was drinking. So, you know, I had a false, false, fucking false courage. Yeah. Because, you know, my dad used to listen to a tribe called Quest. I remember being like taking me to school every day and he listened in a tribe. That's how I got up on. Yeah. So just being able to work with him was like, you know, trying my best. But he even pulled me to the side one time. Like, you know, you can't be coming through here drinking all the time, stumbling around every goddamn way. Really? Yeah. So like the last I remember, like the like the last few weeks.
that I was working with him, he wouldn't let me drink. No shit. Did you notice a difference in like your, you know, what you put out? I mean, yeah, in some sense, because I mean, you know, you always think like drinking and smoking is going to help with your creativity and some type of shit, but.
I mean, as far as me recording vocals, I will always lay stuff down a little tipsy, but then come back and redo them when I'm sober. But I'm still drinking and stuff in the hotel room while I was writing. You know what I'm saying? But when I would go record, I'd just make sure I was sober. Did you have the thing where last minute shit would be the magic? You know what I mean? Like you're about to wrap up. It always feels like that. Like when you feel like you're done with the album and...
sometimes you just gotta stop yourself because it's like a Rubik's Cube in some sense you know you can make one song that'll just change the whole trajectory of the album and I'll be like oh it's going this direction then you wanna make some more songs you gotta have a cut off point but that's what I was saying but that's something you feel out right yeah yeah so working with him he just taught me the art of post like you can lay down these ideas but just keep going over them tinkering them figuring out new ways figuring just
Think to yourself, like, you only got one chance to release it, but you got all the time in the world before you put it out. Because once you put it out, it ain't yours no more. You know what I'm saying? So put your best foot forward and show some love to the record. It don't even matter how long they've been sitting around. Because I would think, like, man, you record a song and you let it sit around for two years, and you might get dated. But good music don't date itself. That's true. That's the thing about music is that it's forever. And another thing that I learned is a lot of times –
You make these records quick and you put them out and then two years later you'll be like, I don't even like this fucking song no more. But now you're on stage singing it and you're like, fuck, I hate this shit. Do you really feel that? There's a few songs that I have that I'll be like, I hate this shit. But they want to hear it. Yeah, but they want to hear that shit. But even like a lot of my songs where they're talking about drugs and shit and you know me, I'm sober now so it almost feels like a...
you know, weird for me to be performing that shit. But then when I listened to the actual lyrics and think about what I was talking about, I was, I was really telling you the downsides of it. So it almost makes more sense for me to perform some of those songs. That's rad, dude. That's cool as shit. Cause,
Because it's almost like, yo, you've seen me go through it. I helped me. And now I'm at the end of the tunnel. You know what I'm saying? I beat the game. It is music. I mean, it is so cool that you can have a song that just hits. And that's forever. People want to hear it forever. That's different than for jokes. Yeah. Yeah, jokes, people are like, yeah, I love that joke. But they know the turn. Like the surprise. If surprise doesn't exist forever.
you kind of lose something in comedy, right? But like in music, it's for fucking ever. You have to perform it forever. You're here. Hit. Like I just literally got so inspired by that new Nas album. Yeah. Cause he's 50. Like the whole album is about him turning 50 and just like, cause you always think like rap is like a young man game and like,
Totally. You know, you age yourself out. But then you're hearing somebody like him at 50 years old at the top of his game. It's like, oh, my God. And he's been putting out this shit since he was 16. But I'm saying even in the last two, three years, he just keeps dropping albums. And you're like, I think this one is the best. The newest one. Yeah, because it's pretty much celebrating him turning 50. And we pretty much watched him grow up in hip hop. And then hip hop is turning 50 this year. So it's like this is hip hop's baby. Yeah, baby. Yeah, that's true.
Yeah, it's been amazing what he's done in the last few years. But yeah, the newest one is incredible. Yeah, it's so good. King's Disease 9. No, it's called Magic 3. It's Magic 3. But yeah, pretty much. He's been putting out. It's crazy. Because even me, I'd be like, man, you can't be putting out that many albums that quick. But when you listen to him, you realize, you know, because a lot of people, you know, you make music for monetary gain at this point. Now he's just so up.
he can get back to not even caring about him making money off the music at this point and just have fun. You can hear it and it's coming through and you can hear it. That's cool. The dude also, he fucking looks 30. Also, I was just thinking that, at least in comedy now, that I sell tickets and the pressure to...
make money is a little bit relieved that I'm so much freer now and I say whatever the fuck I want and it's the best feeling you know because I feel like when you start off you're like I can't be so polarizing I have to like yeah same thing in music sucks yeah same thing in music you'd be thinking like man I gotta make because even me with this last album I just made I remember I was getting to the point of it because it's pretty much just a trauma dump
I went through a bad breakup, so the album was, you know, I always try to talk about what I'm going through, so it was pretty much talking about that. Then, like I said, it was a Rubik's Cube. Then it got started talking about how, you know, I started going down a deeper path of just depression and drugs and all that stuff to, you know, cope with what I was going through. But then it got to the point where it started, you know, me realizing what I'm doing and started to be more about self-help and stuff like that. So it was like every time I was making a song, it was turning into something else. But then it got to the point I was like,
fuck, how am I going to perform this shit? I got to make something that I'm going to be able to go out on a roll with because I don't want to be on stage singing these sad ass songs, you know? But, you know, it's good to have a good team around you where they trust you and be like, you know, and sometimes just give you that assurance to be like, no, you're doing the right thing. Don't worry about it. Just...
You don't even worry about it. People going, so let's get into the point now. I'm more comfortable with being on stage singing those sad songs. Because before, I just wanted to see the crowd, damn near jump around and beat they self up, you know? But somebody told me, and they really stuck with me, was like, anybody can go on stage and make motherfuckers jump around. But when you can go on stage and sing songs and got everybody undivided attention and they just looking at you like, oh. Yeah. And they really feeling that shit. You know, they can take that home. You know, they take that home with you. And it kind of helped them and changed their shit. Now, I...
This is so true. And it got me thinking about, I know you probably already saw Taylor Swift live a few times. I never saw Taylor Swift live. You know, you're not a huge fan. I mean, that one song she made, 15. That was a weird one for me, man. I'm like, man, I don't know about this. But man, that's a little creepy. I know. I'm just kidding. But she bums. I feel like a lot of her shit's a bummer. Kind of adolescent crybabying bullshit. Yeah.
But who the fuck am I? People love her. The arenas are full of people wanting to hear this bitch cry about her relationships and stuff. I do know I really respect her. The fact that she went back and re-recorded all her own albums. Isn't that cool? So she can own the music now. That's like, I'm starting to think about that idea. Like, hold up. That was pretty cool. That is cool. That's a great idea. Somebody in stand-up did a similar thing where they had
recorded bits that went viral but that were posted by comedy clubs or like one of these you know smaller record companies like in the beginning of their career and they realized oh I can just go back to a club and record that thing post it myself and now it's mine it's definitely a smart thing to do I was thinking like what you were just saying though about making somebody feel something I think the equivalent in stand up is something that you don't realize until you've been doing it a while which is that like
Anybody can get a laugh from like a, you know, whatever, like dirty, you know, sex joke, whatever. But really when you can captivate a huge audience to sit forward and you can hear nothing, like, of course the goal is laughter, but if you have them paying attention and you're like, wow, there's like 10,000 people and they're all like listening. That is a skillset. Yeah. That's not everybody can do that. Definitely. Yeah. It's something that's like, I don't know, like,
In the moment, you're like, wow, everybody's listening right now. And comedy is one of those things, just like music too, where you can, you know, like you say, it's all about being funny and ha-ha, but where a person can leave from it and be like, man, make them think about shit that they got going on in their life. You know it could be tooken as a joke, but you can take that shit seriously. You still, by the way, we've talked about this many times, you have to do stand-up. Man, this is such a slippery slope for me. I'm so terrified. But why don't you just, here's the thing, we were talking about this, we could set this up for in the next couple weeks, why don't you just come
I know the show to, I'll arrange the show to get you on. And you just do, you get up there, low stakes, smaller room, and like three to five minutes of like a very generous crowd. Yeah. Fun. Will you come do that? Yeah, I mean, I'm...
at this point in my life, you know, I'm not, I'm not scared of it. It's just the fact that I respect it so much. No, I appreciate that very much. And where I don't want to be like the rapper guy is trying comedy now, you know? No. Here's the good thing though, is that it's the great equalizer comedy. They don't give a fuck if you're the rapper guy, the midget guy, the,
Because I've seen that kind of where somebody tried to transition and do comedy. Here's what's up. People don't really think they respect art. Are you in town next Tuesday? Yeah, yeah. Great. We'll do it then. He's going to get diarrhea. No, it's going to be fun. It'll be fun. All right. I'll tell you more about it when we're done. Okay, cool. It'll be fun. It'll be great. It'll be fun.
What were you going to say? I was thinking about why did Prince change his name to a symbol? Was that because like so they couldn't write about him in the media? Or was that a thing with his record company? I think it was more so. Yeah, it was something with the record company. But I think he was like trying to like it was almost like he was trying to take a stand. And like, you know, because I guess the label probably owned the name or something like that. Right. And he was like, you know, I could release this music under a sign. Yeah. And it's all mine. Talk about not having a concept of what's happening. I remember when that was happening. I was like, what the?
fuck. I didn't have any grasp of it. And everybody being like, the artist formerly known as... I was like, huh? I just didn't get it. I didn't get it. We're too young to even understand how money is made and how these people get ripped the fuck off. Because you can sign a record deal under a name and then that label owns that artist. You could just...
totally recreate a whole new persona like MF Doom used to do that a lot he would just sign another record deal with somebody else under another name put out another album that's hilarious that's the way to rap he was robbing banks I just saw a video about
I don't know if you know the story. I think it was about Frank Ocean. Mm-hmm. Just, and the, I think it's A$AP Rocky talking to me. Yeah, how he finessed the record company. Yeah. What did he do? Because he pretty much, I mean, you know, when you sign record deals, they sign you to an amount of albums. Uh-huh. And I think it was something where, like, you know, he had his last album on the label. I mean, he owned, like, he owed him one more album, and he just pretty much put out an album with pretty much, like,
I guess like, I wouldn't say it's throwaways because that album was still amazing too, but gave them an album and hurry up and put it out real quick. And then right after drop album on his own terms, there was, and it was way better, you know, and it sold more and everything better. But even back to the Prince thing, just watching his story and stuff and learning about how he, you know, used to perform.
forming those high heels and how hard he used to go and it ended up fucking his back up. And his hips. Yeah. And he ended up starting to have to like, you know, take Percocets and be on so many drugs and it got to the point where, you know, he started just, you know, you know, you get, start buying drugs off the street type shit. Yeah. He ended up getting caught up with some fentanyl and that's the way he died and it's like,
Like Michael Jackson and Prince died from drugs. It's like, that's the most crazy. It's crazy. And there was a, I'm sure you could find it, but like, there's a story about how not that long before Prince died, there was like an emergency landing. Yeah. Yeah. Of one of his, his plane. He got them bad pills, man. He was like, they had to go right to a hospital. He was in crazy pain. And it was like, you know, heart was given out. It was, it's a sad story. Yeah.
I miss him. He was a good one. Yeah. Look at this one. His name was never used in the request. Yeah. Made a landing at 117. I did a landing at 45,000 feet in 17 minutes. Yeah. Had to get Narcan. So that was thin, though, for sure. Damn. Wow.
That's crazy now that motherfuckers is doing drugs so much where they just keep Narcan on them. And I heard that some people, they don't even want you to hit them with the Narcan because after that they can't get high for like a couple days. They're like, fuck, I was on a good night. You fucked my shit up. Fuck, man. I'm glad I don't have a...
fentanyl problem. Yeah. I mean, when I was in rehab, it was a lot of, that was what a lot of people was coming in for. And people were getting that dirty fent, like, you know. Now they want it. It was like such a thing where people, you know, you figured you get some fentanyl, you're going to die. Now people are like, I want the fentanyl. It's like they developed the tolerance now. Now it's that new shit now that's going on around in Philly, the trank,
It's like some tranquilizer type shit. Like I'll be watching those YouTube videos about Kings and Tenant shit. And that shit just like, yeah, drugs is not the deal right now. No, thanks. Do you know, by the way, that, I mean, you're a, you're on YouTube B you're an artist. Did you know that there is an exemption for artists on YouTube? If you put up art, uh,
something that is documentary style or information you can get an exemption for their regular YouTube rules did you know this? I mean yeah because I've seen like motherfuckers
We have an asshole shaving videos. You've seen that? Yeah. That's what we're talking about. That's what we're talking about. There's another video. Motherfucker got a how to put on a condom tutorial and he just got his balls all out. Like, hold on. Let me show you how to put this motherfucker on. Yes. And I watched it one time just out of curiosity. And my girl like, you in here watching condom videos? Because she saw it in the history. I'm like, what the fuck?
Have you seen the hair butthole one? Yeah. Yeah. So you've seen that one. And they got millions of views and shit. Millions of views. And then there's the, let's see, hold on. I can't stop thinking about how soft that guy's hands look. No, they got all crazy. You know me, I go down my YouTube dark rabbit holes. They got naked yoga. Yeah. I like that one. That's what gay guys do. So this guy has a new one out. The Nair butthole guy. Fuck yeah, dude. His new one. Hey guys.
That nigga got the door bell, dude. It's on YouTube. It's on YouTube. Dude, kids can fucking see that.
Your kid can fucking...
So what I like to do is I like to first like push my shell down so that this region is like uncovered. Then I have to go in the direction of where that's growing. So I like to go like this. Oh, but there's still hair he's pulling. Okay, so I just trimmed this top area right here. I am pretty happy with how it looks. Now let's move on to the shell area. So I just kind of go like this.
- Ah, slow down! - You need to slow down! - Ow! - Oh my god, I'm in chills. - I'm in chills. - No, no, no, be gentle, be gentle, be gentle. - And you two is like, "This is very helpful."
to the side and then again shaved in the opposite direction. We are allowing this because otherwise everyone would have hairy balls. But it's a little bit hard to reach or to see what's happening back there. How is this okay? You don't need to show this to educate people. No, the creepiest shit is the fucking breastfeeding videos. If you go read the comments, it'd be motherfuckers like, ooh, look at them titties. They're out here watching it. So it's almost like, you know, and then they'll have the OnlyFans link
You know what I'm saying? Like you're doing your birds. You're like, you're putting your kid through some fucked up shit. Oh man, that's fucked up. That's fucked up. Wait, hold on. Hold on. I want to learn. Oh, she's got good lines. This is on YouTube. This is on YouTube also. She's got good tan lines. Yeah. She looks great. She's got big tits. Whoa. Yeah.
Got the monkey all out. She shaved herself, too. I see the mood in the booth changed entirely. Yeah. From the ball training. And they got the porn music on. It's fucking amazing. Yeah. This is just showing you the actual... Cubic mound. Just the mound. Yeah. Yeah.
She's nice. Yeah. I like looking at her. I think her body's nice. I'm not, like it doesn't feel awful, but that guy was awful and he was so rough. Because you know he being nasty. Yeah. You know he a nasty motherfucker be sniffing them poppers going crazy in that room. He got the goon cave. That's what he got.
Yeah, he does. And he didn't do a clean job. I saw lots of hair still left over. I mean, because the best shit is like the cream. You can like put the cream on and just get in the shower and it just comes off easy. So let's peel this. Oh, shit. See, I told you in the goon cave, man.
The innermost part of your cheek is where the hair is usually, so. Now it's time to pull. Hold the skin, tout with your free hand, and with one quick movement, pull the strip off with the other hand. One, two, three. I'd be pissed if I was one of those motherfuckers in the picture in the back right there.
Like, you doing butthole videos? You got my picture in the back, man. Okay, that was a... What the fuck is wrong with you, man? So I definitely still prefer the cream instead of this. This makes me feel sick now. Look at him. Spraying it over. He a nasty motherfucker, man. He's so nasty. He is. He nasty, dude. You know what he doing. You know what I mean? Wait, so hold on. Can I ask you guys something? Go ahead.
Is this this guy's kink? His fetish is to fucking. He's an exhibitionist. He's an exhibitionist. He's one of the motherfuckers at the new beach on bone. And here's the thing I've said before, but like he knows that if once he got this permission, if YouTube goes, oh,
you know, we're going to strike you or take this down. He's going to come out and be like, guess what? YouTube, they took, uh, they, they struck down me because I'm gay and I'm Asian. And like, yeah. And then they're just like, just leave it up, leave it up. But you know what we actually decided to do?
I don't know if we were like, you know, this is a very cool thing that you're able to teach people this way. And we want to be able to teach people things, too. So we decided to make our own version, which will be available very soon on the YMH YouTube channel. But I wanted to show it to Danny Brown because he's Danny Brown. He's here today. And we worked very hard on this. And I wanted to make sure that you got it. He might learn something. Yeah, you might learn something.
Me too. Yeah. I'm Dr. Drew Pinsky, internist, board certified, and I'm here with you today to present an educational video about screening for an important cause of cancer in men. Oh, shit. Whoa.
Testicular cancer. Fortunately, these days, testicular cancer is highly, highly treatable. We're doing a great job with it. But of course, the earlier we get it, the less you have to go through and the better chance we have of complete cure. So it's an important cause of cancer. It's not as common as breast cancer in women, but it's something that men should be aware and should be able to learn to do their own self-examination. And so today, a subject that very kindly agreed to help us out, I will examine him and we'll teach him how to do a self-examination as well.
He watched the shaving video. It's hairless. So here's what we're going to do. We're going to first look at the testicles on this side. Dr. Drew out his goddamn mind right now. What you want to do is feel the spermatic cord. The testes have a cord that goes up through the inguinal canal. That's where hernias descend. And so one of the things we do, you're not going to do this on the self-examination. This guy comes at the very end of this. It's wild. Oh, man.
And the doctor can do ultrasounds, can do CAT scans. When Drew jacks this guy off. But usually just our hands, just our examination will tell us whether it's anything to worry about or not. There are lots of other things that can go on down there that are not of concern. Cystocele, spermatoceles. They feel like another one of these on top, almost like a bleb in a tire, for instance. You know, if you have something peeking out the top of it. You also, if you notice, I'm going to, this is a horrible.
We also, we didn't want to leave it just to one gender here. This show is a very binary show. By the way, you guys put that man's dick almost at head level, Drew. It's really cool, dude. It's pretty exciting.
I'm Dr. Drew Pinsky. I'm a physician and I'm an internist, board certified. I'm here to talk about a very important topic, which is breast cancer. It's going to afflict one in eight women. That's how many people are going to get breast cancer. That's a lot. How did y'all put the casting call out for this?
- We just put who wants to for a doctor. - More than 800 men will get breast cancer. So men, you can learn a little something from this as well. Things like obesity, alcohol, these things, family history, contribute to the risk. So try to mitigate your risk as best you can. What we're gonna do here is show you how a physician does an examination.
People have a strange way of thinking about their armpits. They will get little cysts and things in their skin and assume that is something wrong or cancer. But if you can essentially squeeze it between your fingertips, it's not a problem.
And then we just take a look at the breasts themselves while she's sitting up. This is a very common condition, breast cancer, and we have lots of great treatments for most women. Breast cancer can be a chronic condition. It goes for years and years and years. We can do lots of things to treat it, even if we don't have success. We're going to do the same thing where you use the legs. Yeah.
Okay, let's slow it down now. But it's something to just keep an eye on. A little bit different what we might do, and it also makes it a little different in terms of how we feel around. We're very excited. Yeah, amazing. Yeah, seeing this for the first time. It's amazing. And I have to say, our video is so much more educational than fucking Kevin. Yeah, because it's hard to be creepy with Dr. Drew. You mean the guy who's like, hey guys. Yeah.
When you want to finger your butthole, one of the things you're going to want to do is trim your nails. That guy? That's education? Yeah. Dr. Drew, he used proper medical terms and shit to make you feel like it's really educational. It's something I feel like I would have seen in sex ed or some shit. Yeah. That guy just likes to get off showing you his fucking butt hairs and shit. He loves it. He reading the comments. He definitely does. He like, what's up? He just really putting it out there. He like, who trying to holler? You know what I'm saying? Have you seen it?
Have you seen this guy who says that he blew Obama? Oh, yeah. I heard about it. You heard this guy? Here's just so you get the because we have some new stuff. Just so you get the background. Good. Yeah. Limit driver that I was looking for someone to enjoy. Obama could do better than that. That's what I said. That's what we're saying. Obama's a handsome guy. And this fucking pig. Pig. Yeah. And what happened?
We had a few drinks. I had made some comments about wanting Coke, so we got in a limo and left, and
We started drinking. I started snorting. He started smoking. I actually put my hand on his knee and started to rub up his thigh. And I performed all sorts of things. The guy was like, tell me more. Yeah. Again, I just feel like Obama would be like, if he wants to, he'd be like, I could get my dick sucked by a lot of people. It's not going to be you, bro. He's so ugly. He's not cute enough.
So this guy, he said the next day. The following day, I actually get a knock on my hotel room door in Gurney, Illinois, only to find Barack Obama standing in front of it. He had actually come back for seconds. Oh, shit. I performed all sorts of things in the hotel room at the Comfort Inn and Suites in Gurney, Illinois. Were there drugs involved on the second night as well? There was.
Who produced those? He actually brought those with him. Now, Obama at that time was a state senator. I actually had no idea who he was. And then when did you find out that it was Barack Obama? Watching the 2004 DNC convention. Thank you very much, everybody. I was like, I suck, that guy's dead. At the time, I was just kind of floored.
So what we found is that this guy has a history of lies and fabrications and frauds, criminal fraud, and just a slew of documented untruths. But here he is getting a... He did a polygraph about all this, I guess, a while back. And there's footage of it. I started to...
Hey!
Yeah, yeah, yeah. Usually it's meth, but what did the polygraph say? Here we go. Before he got to the cylinder, where had the sex act ended? Did he have an orgasm? No, he didn't have an orgasm before he pulled the cylinder out. That's what I'm saying. I actually returned to performing oral sex on him after he started smoking. Okay. That's very nice. No condoms or anything? No.
Lips to skin. Yeah, I went back down on him. I did finish. What does that mean? I mean, he had his orgasm. Senator Obama himself was the one that initiated the sex act on the second occasion. How did he do that? He did it very blatantly and very boldly. We walked back into the room. He walked over to the edge of the bed and simply unzipped his pants.
So he unzips his pants. Then what happened? I thought we were doing a polygraph. He fires up a rock. I'm down on my knees. And like I said, this was nothing more than a quickie. The entire event was over with, in and out, in 30, 40 minutes at the most. Okay. So the evaluation, this is, I guess I can put it over here, right?
of the polygraph is a credibility assessment. I can't read it there, so I'll read it here. Basically says the results are that the reader, I'm sorry, to render a conclusion of deception, there must be a minus three or less in any spot. And to render a conclusion of truthfulness, there must be a plus in every spot. And the Sinclair polygraph resulted in an evaluation of deception indication with a score of
15 when he answered the questions above. So he, the full, you know, it has basically the questions and answers. And on the second part of it, a deception indication again, again, you know, polygraphs are not bulletproof, but it's just another layer to the story. Like, what is he getting out of this? Like, why would he do that? You're just a guy who's in town for the night. And it sounds like you're looking to party. Bar out.
He looks better now. I have Tucker's face. He's like, do you have teeth, sir? I like his wrist.
- I know, right? - It went the direction I had intended it to go. - Even though you had sex with him twice, you did cocaine with him, watched him smoke crack twice, you had no idea who he was. - I had no idea who he was. - And I have no idea where my dentist lives now.
This is, yeah, anyway. Wow. It just sucks, man, that people can just say anything. Yeah. Like, Tucker, you fucking interviewing a motherfucker. Yeah, why are you interviewing a motherfucker? Yeah, like, I don't like that. I don't like it. And it's also tacky to kiss and tell. Yeah, definitely. And, like, why the fuck? You really think Barack doesn't have people sign NDAs and shit up the ass?
You know what I'm saying? Like, if he is a homo, he's like, bitch, sign this before you suck my dick and let's smoke some blow. Like, he's not stupid. Yeah. Also, that he was like a senator. He's like, I gotta find some fucking...
To suck my dick. Toothless guy? Toothless, sure. I'm going to smoke some rocks. Yeah. Come on, man. No, that's not. Barack doesn't smoke. If he was getting crazy like that, I'm pretty sure there would have been a lot more people that came forward. Hell yes, dude. There would be like 50 guys be like, I suck this dick. Yeah, he can't just be the only one. No way. And also, Tucker's got really good hair. Does everybody notice that? It's a lot of hair. Is it real? No, that can't be. I don't know.
It's a lot of hair. It's so curly. It looks like my grandma fur coat. Totally, Dad. Let's watch something funny. Oh, shit. Oh, shit. Got him. I got him. You wouldn't think that happened. The sound he was making. It's the sound, yeah. It sounds like the Stomping Grapes lady. You know, that one. It sounded like he was getting some scrum action. Hey, hey, hey.
That's good. That's a good sound. I told you, man. I told you when I said it. It's a good sound. I don't like the sound. That's the funny part. I like where this one's going. It's a skydiver. That's picking up speed. Oh, shit. Fucking retard. That is fast. Oh, yeah. He broke everything. That. Everything. Why didn't this parachute work? You laughed pretty hard at a guy who was broken.
Hips, legs, everything. But why does that work? Ribs.
What went wrong, though? That's what I'm saying. He did it really well. What went wrong is that the... So this is the... Okay, hold on. I'll pull it back up here. What a dummy. Yeah, but he deserves... This is so stupid. He's going to pull... Yeah, so it's picking up. It's crazy speed. So you have your second one, which is deployed there, but it doesn't catch because it gets in the way. The first one gets in the way of it. Yeah, I see it. It's not catching the wind the way it's supposed to.
Right? See how it's preventing... Oof. That's a whole body breaking, man. Play stupid game, win stupid prizes. You ever done anything like that? I mean, I always thought about skydiving and shit like that, but showing me shit like this is not giving me the confidence. I'm too goofy for that shit, man. We'll do it Tuesday before the show. Fuck no.
Also, if you're not a super professional, don't do this shit by yourself. That definitely didn't seem pro. It did not seem pro. They give you like mad training and shit before you do that kind of shit though, right? They should. It seemed like something was off with the wind or something though. Like he just didn't...
We are two for two right now. You laughed and you laughed. The thud was really cool. It's just like a slab of beef on the floor. It was a lot. That is so many broken bones. The worst is he got a motherfucker out there recording it. Like, watch this eel glide. Watch this eel glide, I do. And the shit just went wrong. I'll tell you exactly where I'm going to land.
I don't even know what this one is. Oh, shit. Oh, I've sent this, didn't I? No. No, he's hurt. Yeah. This isn't good. I don't like this. Did that guy shoot? He just put his shoe back on? I don't know. I don't like that. I didn't enjoy that one. I think those bones are... Yeah. See, I've been hit by a car like that. You have? Yeah. I mean, when I was a kid, and I pretty much tumbled the same way, but one thing that's crazy, when you get hit by a car like that and you're in the air and shit, everything just goes in slow motion. It's just like, that's when you know they be like the world of simulation type shit. It'll make you believe it, because...
everything just pauses and goes slow as fuck man jesus christ man that's terrible not again god damn it tom oh his leg snapped oh yeah this shit is all bent up okay can we move on this is terrible i don't like this one bit thank you tom all right let's do that one more time
That was a scooter that hit him or a motorcycle? It seems like a scooter. Because I wouldn't think that that would cause that much force. I know. How fast do you think he was going? Oh, no, he was zipping. He was zip-zip zooming. That was a good flip.
Can we go on, please? Is there TikToks or something we can look at? Or just something fun? That was fun. That'd be the scary shit, like Thailand and all that shit over there. There'd be just so many people. I always, every time I'm in Amsterdam, I damn near get hit by a bike every fucking time. So many there. Yes. I always almost get hit by a fucking bike. I almost get killed in London by the traffic, you know, when you walk on the street. And you're like, look right. It tells you which way. I always fucking... We've been watching these...
inmate videos now for dating what do you mean now there's a thing where people are recording their like you know they're they're like their match videos from inside from prison um there's an instagram account where you can pen pal an inmate oh and they it's very short videos being like hey hit me up okay yeah i walked by somebody today some of the weird shit you hear people say
I swear I heard somebody say, bro, I'm going to go exercise my prostate. I'm like, motherfucker, I can't go exercise your prostate. What the hell? Some of the shit you hear people saying here blows my mind. Anyway, I'm just looking for somebody to break my heart. If that's you, hit me up. I'm pretty sure he got them beaten down the door. That's Alec. We like to play the game. What do you think he's locked up for?
Oh, definitely meth. He's a good guesser. Possession of a controlled substance, assault upon certain personnel, domestic battery. Yeah, he was all methed up. One of those benders, man. That was good, Danny. Hey, y'all. My name is Audrey.
Doing time in Boise, Idaho. I'm looking for a pimp house to pass my time with and to build genuine connections with so I can hopefully take you guys on the next part of my journey. If you're interested, you can add me on J-Pay. My IDOC number is...
I look forward to hearing from you. Okay. I'm going to go with like cash fraud. Yeah, definitely a thief. Definitely a thief, but it could be some prostitution drug shit going on with her. Burglary and assault or battery of a police officer. Wow. But she's a thief. You're right. Yeah. Usually you're probably a little messed up or something when you're assaulting police officers. I'm pretty sure. I'm from Wasey, Idaho. I'm just trying to find somebody that I can connect with that understands
that likes to laugh and be goofy like I am. She's goofy. I'm a goofball. That's Fentanyl right there. Well, hold on, because a lot of the women don't say they're goofy or they like to have fun and laugh. So this is a new one that we're seeing. So what do you think? She's in there for fentanyl? Yeah, she's from drug use. Drugs, yeah. She's in for a burglary and grand theft. Goddamn. That's Bridget. I mean, but you know, they're still in for drugs.
what's J-Pay? that's how you pay for shit in jail pretty much like all the accounts and shit go through J-Pay so like if I wanted to give her like $100 for commissary I would put it in her J-Pay yeah and they buy shit off J-Pay like I think you know cause they always talk about like albums and shit they buy them off J-Pay and shit like that yeah so I think it's probably much like you putting money on the account and everything just go through J-Pay it's just like a J-Pay thing
They phone you, say everything. You crazy goofball. I think J-Pay is pretty much like a company where they buy shit off and so they put in their money in that account so they can buy shit off J-Pay. And if you don't have a friend on the outside giving you money, you're fucked. Or can you add to your own J-Pay account? Can you earn money in prison and then
Yeah, I'm pretty sure. But you probably have to give it to somebody outside to put it on there or some type of shit. Because you're not supposed to be doing shit in there. But I'm pretty sure, you know, they'd be fucking selling a snacks or, you know, stealing shit or like, you know, motherfuckers start their own little side hustles like braiding hair or doing makeup. That's what we're talking about is because I saw a TikTok where this lady's like, if you're going to prison, you need to skill.
And like drawing is apparently a really good skill to have. They want to send letters home and shit like that. So draw a picture of my son or some shit like that. I've seen one girl on TikTok though. She was making clothes and shit. Like taking a prison uniform and just making cool shit out of them. And they was paying her to do that shit. That's kind of dope. I would do that. That's really cool. Like she was really doing some extracurricular crafty ass shit. Like figuring out how to sew shit and all that type of shit. I was like, oh, that's kind of dope. They up in there with some drip.
That is kind of dope. Sweet, but I thought you earned money in prison. Oh, shit. Oh, he killed some motherfuckers. Yeah, that's murder, right?
And no crazies allowed. Oh, that's definitely what he about to find. But the fucked up part is he can definitely find him some fat bitch in Idaho that's about to drop sub on a J-Pay, come visit him and shit. Be like, this my man. Uh,
Right? Chicks dig this. He is incarcerated for aggravated assault and battery with deadly weapon towards an officer. He was involved in a high-speed chase during which he was shooting at the officer and ran his car into a cop car. At the time of his crime, he was on probation for possession, eluding arrest, and grand theft. He's all kinds of fucked. He basically tried to kill the cop. Yeah.
So that'll get you locked up for a while. I get Juggalo vibes too. Yeah. Maybe it's just the face text. No crazy though. He the crazy motherfucker. That's why. That dude is... Courtney, I'm incarcerated in South Idaho. She definitely got a black baby daddy. I'm looking for women and men to talk to. If you're interested, you can hit me up on JPA. My number is 424
She's cute though, yeah? Look, Danny's got a smile on his face. You're feeling her. I can't. She wanted to was, I feel like, you know, she probably a nice girl. She just was messing with the wrong dude and got caught up in his shit. Yeah. She probably wasn't really a criminal. She's incarcerated for aiding and abetting a burglary and possession of a controlled substance. That black dick drove her crazy. Caught a felony.
Oh, man. All right. Here we go. Let's see. Yeah, she's got a sweet face. Hey, ladies. It's me, Barely Legal Dimitri. I'm here for your entertainment. Come get it while it lasts. Oh, shit. Short and sweet. Right to the point. Yeah. He looked like he was doing some internet scamming type shit. Oh, no. What do you guess?
Dimitri is an entry-level criminal. He's fucking with cars, maybe trying to steal some cars. All right. He's incarcerated for a first-degree murder. Oh, shit. Yep. Goddamn. Yep. First-degree murder? That's a full intent to end your life. Yep. Yeah, he just went out and started acting Call of Duty. Yeah. Playing that shit too long. Like, I want to do it in real life.
I thought he was like an Xbox hacker or something. Yeah, wow. We didn't read that. That's what I'm saying, man. Hey, everybody. I'm Dimitri. These kids, man. They'll shock you, man. All right, one more. Damn. What's good? My name is Devin. My homies call me Pino. I'm currently at ICC. My IDOC number is ****. I'm just looking for some pen pals, looking for somebody to talk to. I'm mad funny. I got a good-ass personality. Add me on J-Pay if you're trying to get to know me and ****. I hope I hear from you soon.
Yeah, it was definitely a violent crime. I'm going to go with some gun shit or something. He looked like a gangbanger. He's a banger. I think gang, definitely assault. This guy's been in fights. He likes to fight. Yeah, he liked that shit. He likes to fight. He ain't tripping. He coming back. He wasn't the one that had told a motherfucker, like, I'll be back. Don't worry about it. You'll see me soon.
Well, you guys did great on this one. He is aiding and abetting second degree murder and delivery and possession of controlled substance. Yeah. Putting in work for the gang. That's what that is. He's having a good time in there. Yeah. He's one of them motherfuckers. He's having a great time. Yeah. This is his calling. He found his life. That's the weird shit. This is it. Yeah.
In jail, you will find motherfuckers that really love that shit. And they'll tell you some shit like, you know, I'm a real nigga. That's why I'm going through shit like this. You know, they say the real niggas dead or in jail. You know what I'm saying? Like, nigga, what the fuck is your... I don't want to be a real nigga then. That's the last thing I'm trying to do. Yeah. We can leave the realness out there. That's cool. Yeah, man. All right, Christina, here's your favorite time. It's about time.
All right, Danny, this is Christina's moment of the hour. It's her famous curation of TikTok videos. Oh, shit. Whoa.
That's not cool at all. What do you mean? I don't like this. It looks cool. And it's gay pride month. I got my face tattooed more yesterday. Wow. That's one of Kim's sex motherfuckers. Don't you feel like the tattoo artist should be like the sanctioned for agreeing to do this? I disagree, Tom. First of all, I think this is actually in terms of face art, pretty interesting, pretty good, better than most. Mm hmm.
That ain't no tattoo shop shit. They just be hanging around getting high. They be like, fuck it, man. Just do this shit. Do it to my face. You know what I'm saying? Draw lines on my face, man. That motherfucker getting double fisted. Yeah. He's getting fucking... That's them fisting motherfuckers right there. There's a lot of drugs that went into this face tattoo, for sure. I like it. You know, you guys need to open your hearts and your arms. I'm terrified of motherfuckers like that, man.
Hell yeah. I see the motherfuckers in Walmart, I go the other way. That's a scary dude. Yeah, I'm racist towards these type of motherfuckers. I hate to say it. I'm wondering about your bed situation. All right. Let's get specific. I currently have two partners who I spend the night with on a regular basis.
We currently have regularly scheduled nights of the week where my wife will go to her boyfriend's house and my partner will come here. That's what happens most of the time, but plans change. Sometimes all four of us are here. In that case, usually my wife and her boyfriend share a bed and my partner and I share a bed.
I'm so confused. What? I'm good. It's so good.
You always wonder what them cuckold motherfuckers look like. Here we go right there. He's the fucking poster child for cuckolds. Oh, the shirt is normalized polyamory. That's very cool. Well, like, also, did you know there's a trend now where straight people are calling their spouses partner? Yeah. So, like, a partner, like...
I'm your partner now. Yeah, I've heard that before. It's so fucking stupid. That's for gays. It's kind of new. It was almost like, I met a girl once. She's like, you know, my partner, this was a while ago. She's like, yeah, you know, me and my partner, we hang out. I was like, oh, so that means I can still fuck, right? Yeah, but now you call them partner. So I don't even know what the fuck he's talking about. Is his partner a guy or a girl? Yeah, I think he got one of each. He looked like he double dips.
He does. He does have double dip vibes. Talk about this algebra. I mean, the amount of energy on this is like. What are you doing, man? What are you doing? Send his wife out to get the BBC. Come back home, ask how it was. How was it? Was it great? Yeah. Yeah.
You don't have OCD. Oh, that's my girl right there. You have OBCD. Bruh. Okay, thank you. I didn't know my psychiatrist was on here. This a big bitch, though. She's a big bitch, man. You got to see a cool body picture, man. Amberlynn Reid, man. I know all about her. I've been down this rabbit hole, man. Oh, you know who this is for real? Yeah, yeah. She's on YouTube all the time. She's got her own YouTube channel. Because she started out as, how she became so popular was that she started this YouTube channel and she was like, you know, you're going to be able to see my weight loss journey and getting fitness, but
as time progressed. She just gets bigger and bigger and bigger. Really? Yeah, there she goes. Even that neck chain she has on, that little choker chain, that motherfucker used to be loose at one point in time.
I don't think she can get it off now. Oh, my God. So we've just been watching her. Yeah, look at her, man. She can't even walk down the stairs now. So she's huge now. Yeah, she's huge. She started doing mukbang challenges and shit. Like, damn, bitch, I thought you was trying to lose weight. Oh, did she actually go see that guy? No, no, I don't think so. I think that's just a meme. Oh, okay. But yeah.
So she was starting, her thing was just, she was like kind of overweight. Hey, I'm going to lose weight. And then she's got bigger and bigger. Yeah, because you know, it's just that, that's that YouTube shit. And then the more, you know, started making money off YouTube and she's like, shit, fuck it, I'm going to Applebee's. She got walked into one of these, like you do. Please, please fight again. So I found this on TikTok and I watched this clip about 50 fucking times. Every time it made me L's, L-O-L's, lols.
You don't have OCD. You have OBCD. Okay, thank you. I didn't know my psychiatrist was on here. Yeah, you don't have OCD. No, she's a big bitch, man. Bruh. And that's what she puts in the bra. Oh, man. It's almost like one of those sad things, like, you know, like with King Cobra and his drink and all that. People watch these motherfuckers because they're, like, waiting on them to die. Yeah, that's fucked up. Send her some more money because they know she can't help herself. She's going to go get some motherfucking food.
Also, can I tell you my new favorite lane in TikTok is what I eat in a day as a fat person, not on a diet. So there's a bunch of fatsos out there and then they record everything they eat in a day. It's fucking fascinating. Is it so much? It's so much like this one girl I follow, it starts, it's always crap food too. It's, it's never just like, Oh, I made fettuccine and I ate a whole bowl. It's like,
I go to Starbucks and I get two orders of the egg bites, right? So the Gouyere and bacon, not just two. So they're eating four of those fucking things. Now it's already a thousand calories. And then I have ramen noodles for lunch. And then I drink three diet Cokes. And then I have candy. And then I have two bagels with cream cheese. And then for dinner, it's a pork chop. And you're like, well, fuck, God.
So much. You're just eating so much. I mean, the breakfast bites alone would lay me out until the afternoon. I couldn't eat. Shit, two bagels. I'm full all day. Bagels are heavy. Cream cheese? That's her. That's her. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She a thick one. Okay. Tea with milk and sugar. That's the day. The bagel with cream cheese. So that's already. A London fog. I don't even know what that is. Then ramen.
bitch she don't eat the cucumber right look and she takes only pictures of herself eating the vegetable please you're not eating and then on diet coke so now that's 500 calories on drinks alone okay goes picks up her kid takes him to the park now a fucking pile of costco sushi okay no fucking way dude then some garlic chicken wings which were amazing of course they're amazing yeah i love them honey garlic is that it
That doesn't seem that crazy to me. That's for a woman. That's a lot of calories. That doesn't seem like a crazy man. A bowl of for me that if I ate half of what this woman is eating in a day, I'm already fucking fat. You can't like being fat. Yeah. It just didn't seem like a, Oh my God, this is because you're a man for a woman. This is way too many. The bowl of sushi that she's in the trough. Yeah. That's enough. I guess I should start doing these videos.
She liked the attention. I'm going to start doing these videos. I'm going to put it in a wig and be like, hey, what do I eat as a fat lady every day? But he's saying the cream cheese with the bagel. That's heavy. That's enough. That should fill me up. That'll fill you up for like half the day.
half the day right and then ramen and then soda and then the fucking but she one of them girls you can tell she's like i look better fat you know she does though she looks good fat she walked through the walmart all them african dudes like saying shit to her like that she liked that attention man the nigerian guys yeah you know they get a big bitch they'll give a fuck so true that's so true that's their whole lane right there yep
Who's this fucking guy? How to steal someone's energy from a distance. Not for beginners. It's been a minute since I've taught people a direct ritual action that they can do. Okay. And of course, I'm going to do something that's dangerous. Of course, before you attempt doing this, make sure that your wards are solid, your relationship with the spirits is good, and that you are protected. And ensure that you do not have doubts in your abilities.
This is going to be an operation to spiritually wound and drain the energy from someone from a long distance. Oh, shit. What you're going to need is yourself and a piece of obsidian. We're going to meditate with this obsidian in your left hand. Oh, shit. You are going to visualize a black mirror in front of yourself. Okay. Whisper the name of the target seven times and then see them appear in this mirror.
reach your hand through the mirror, grasp them and pull them through to you.
Now, whether you use visualization with tendrils being a tentacles that stab into someone and then drain the energy from them, or you could be like me and visualize yourself taking a bite directly into them somewhere where there is important arteries. You can keep up this visualization for a very long time. Yeah, like this video. Jesus. Come on, man. It will make them very vulnerable to this sort of attack. Okay. Okay. Okay.
What do you think, Danny? Do you believe it? No, he's just a fucking weirdo. That's all it is, man. YouTube do this to motherfuckers. When you watch too many videos late night at four in the morning, you start believing shit like this. This is weird guy shit. Yeah, that's all it is. He's just a weird guy. This guy's a creeper. Guys, I really wish you'd believe in magic, you know?
I believe in some, I believe in like, you can, you can like, you know, cause you know, like down South and voodoo motherfuckers and shit like that. Like, you know, New Orleans and shit. Cause them motherfuckers, them Haitian niggas, they be killing motherfuckers. They want to go to jail and shit. Like, damn, what'd you do? I went to see the voodoo bitch. She got me. Oh,
So I do believe in that kind of shit. But this is a creeper. White guy magic, I don't believe in. I think voodoo magic more. He's just some fucking guy with a pentagram necklace. I just know this motherfucker must have. How do you spot other swingers in public if you're at a restaurant, if you're at a bar? Pineapple shit. How do you spot and know that other people are swingers? And how do you go up and say hello to them or approach them? Too much hands. You don't. You don't.
majority of swingers out there are very discreet. This is a lifestyle that we add a little bit of added spiciness into our relationships. This is not our entire life. So when people are out in public, most people don't want to be known that they're swingers. Most people don't want to be approached that they're swingers.
So when it comes down to meeting others and approaching others, the really appropriate place to do it is at lifestyle clubs or at meet and greets. But when you see people who are out in public and you think that they might be a swinger, just to approach them can be very offending because, again, most people in this lifestyle, they don't broadcast it to everybody. It's not like CrossFit where everybody knows that you're a swinger. You mean like make a TikTok account and let everybody know? No.
Most people enjoy their normal life and every now and then they have a little bit of added fun. So remember that next time that you're out in public, you think someone may be a swinger or not. But on the other hand, they always wear the pineapple around to let everybody know. Because now they got me thinking about that shit. They were like, you know, swingers, they'd be in the grocery stores with the pineapple upside down the cart. Now every time I'm in an HEB, I'm looking at motherfuckers carts and shit like a fucking weirdo.
But yeah, that shit is a myth, man. I don't believe that. All the swingers is weirdo motherfuckers anyway. It's never been one of them. You ever go to a swingers type situation, the motherfuckers in there are uglier than a motherfucker, man. I know. I went to Hedonism 2 on Road Rules, like a challenge. They took us there one night. Disgusting motherfuckers. The grossest Hedonism 2.
Nobody's attractive. Everybody's old and fat and ugly. And you're like, what are you doing? This is so gross. Are they like welcoming though? Are they like, hey guys? No. No? No. You know what they do? They mind their own business and they're just doing their thing. And they're kind of just indifferent to people passersby. They don't try to like, hey, come here. They don't. They're like, if you want to go, not. Because they know you ain't ugly. When they see a motherfucker ain't ugly, they're like, oh, he here to make fun of us. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. They're like, asshole. They're like, yeah.
Five things I wish I'd known before dating a trans woman. Number one, this girl is every bit of a woman. And then some. Think of her as that Happy Meal with the extra special toy that you haven't played with yet.
Number two, you say, hey, Adam, I've already got that toy to play with myself. Why would he need a second toy to play with at the same time? Did we need a second Ace Ventura pet detective movie? Did the Chappelle show need a second season? Did we really need to clone Kanye West to make a second? That's a bad example. But moral of the story is, good things come in twos.
Okay. Are you convinced? Yeah.
Number four, no, this does not make you gay. Listen, this is a little bit different than those sleepovers you and your bros used to have when you were younger. That was a little gay. Being with a woman of any kind means every part of her is feminine. And while I can't fully explain it, that feminine energy is the hottest thing in the world. You'll figure everything else out later. Number five, this is a woman and a very powerful woman that's been through a lot to work towards a body and image that she identifies as.
so if you want a conversation with sustenance this dude's a lot by the way he's a fucking exhausting motherfucker Adderall man that's all I can think is Adderall man in the world yeah he just does too much Adderall I've felt an energy shift from the booth from Eni I actually feel like something is happening to him in there are you alright?
There's just so much to fucking unpack, man. What is this guy? It's a commercial. That's what it is. He's trying to sell you on it. We all got to sell you, man. I get it, man. Don't trip, man. Goddamn, man. Five points. He's having too much fun. It was a commercial for himself, though. It was like so that he can look at this video and be like, see, I'm not gay. He's like telling you, he's like, you're not gay. He's trying to tell himself that. Yeah, he really is. He really is.
Yeah, he's exhausting as a human. I just, in general, I think. It's Adderall, man. I used to take a lot of Adderall, so I know how it is, man. Adderall is fucking meth, man. That's all it is. All right, let's do one more. We got to get out of here. Here we go. For those of you that are stupid enough to think that you have support in your significant other, what the fuck are you smoking? Give me some of that shit if it's not addictive.
Because they may say they're supportive. Most of you, your significant others have said, if they said anything, I'm supportive. That's a load of shit. But you want to believe that they're supportive. You want to believe that you don't have to cut yourself off from 99% of the people you know. But I'm here to tell you, to get on that fucking wall, you've got to cut out 99.9% of everybody you know.
All right. Lonely at the top, guys. I strive to be like that when I get that age. He's great. Just to have that energy and to be able to, you know, kick it like that, man. I like old dudes like this, man. Oh, he's the greatest. There's nobody better. I swear.
There's nobody better than Dan Pena. That was a fun trip, you guys. That was fun, man. We went everywhere today. Yep. We found out, well, we found out a lot. I don't want to get into it all over again, but... Let's see. This is awesome. I just found this for Danny too. I wanted to see. Realize the rest of the world lasted us.
You realize the Russians think we're all faggots? That's true. You realize most of the Eastern Bloc countries think we're faggots? Yeah, man, they do, Doug.
We're in a mess with the humanity. There you go. You're not lying though, man. When you go to other countries, you can just see how they treat you, man. Soft. They think we're soft. Yeah. They just think, yeah. And we just like fucking McDonald's and shit. We are coddled in this country a lot. Beyond. Beyond. Yeah. Well, you know, Hungary outlawed the study of. Yeah. Gender studies. And gays can't have kids now, I think, in Hungary.
Can't adopt or something. Pretty sure they did away with the Supreme court there too. I think it's just whatever the top man says goes. Yeah. Yeah.
All right. Don't forget, check out the new album, Quarantin, which is coming out soon. We don't have the date yet, but it's coming out soon. The Danny Brown Show airs every Tuesday here on the YMH YouTube channel. Also, you can download it wherever you get your podcasts. It was great to have you here, man. It was great to see you. You know I love coming to see y'all guys anytime. We should do it more often, man. We should do it more often. And congrats on everything and on the new stuff coming out, everything that's out. And you look great. We're all happy that you're looking good and feeling good, man.
We love Danny Brown. We'll see you guys next time. Bye, Mommy. I'm whispering a little bit because my woman is sleeping. These are three-day-worn panties. Erection of a chief. Erection of a chief. Erection of a chief. Erection of a fucking a chief. This is giving me a boner. This is giving me a boner. A 19-year-old girl with a great ass. Pussy. Pussy. Teenage panties. And I also paid extra for her. Not to...
Because I'm monopolizing her vagina. Mixed with piss. Mixed with fucking teenage pussy juice. Alright, let's give it a whiff. Erection of achieve. Erection of achieve. Erection of achieve. Erection of fucking achieve. This is giving me a boner right now. This is giving me a boner right now. All that is pungent. You can smell some shit. That was not...
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