Christine's Back + Corey Taylor Talks Dave Grohl and Jane's Addiction Drama | YMH Ep. 778
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See Mint Mobile for details. Welcome back, and we are very excited to welcome back into the studio a very emotional Christina P., everybody. She's back. I'm alive. Thanks, guys. I'm so embarrassed that I'm crying. I did this after the pandemic, too, when I returned to stand-up.

Sorry. That's okay. I'm so embarrassed. I hate having feelings publicly. No, you should have feelings. I know. It's been a traumatic fucking time, but I'm back. Yeah, I'm just fucking happy to be alive. Yeah. It's pretty good. And I mean, I don't want to take your thunder. Well, we both went through something. First of all, I thought you'd be excited. Yeah.

You have to open your mouth wide to put chapstick on. We learned that. One day in the car, I was watching him put chapstick on. I'm like, you can close your mouth when you do that, too. No. Like that. It's perfect. I understand the two of us have been through a lot in the last couple months. Yeah. And I think the big news, if we were to tell everybody, of course. Yeah. It's emotional. Yeah.

God damn it. I gotta start fixing my makeup. You look great. The big news is that in the last couple months, you saw me get my Invisalign removed. Yes. And it was so fucking traumatic and painful. You don't realize that they glue those things onto your teeth. The pain. Like you were going through your shit or whatever, but like,

So I had them on both upper and lower teeth. And I'm wearing these fucking things. And you got to put the bands on. Fuck.

And it's every goddamn day. And then you're going in there and you're like, this sucks. So I'm getting ready to shoot my series. Yeah. And I tell them, I can't have these fucking things on my teeth. Take them off. I didn't realize how painful it is to have. They're glued onto your teeth. They're braces, babe. That's what they do. Yeah, they're scraping them off. And there's suction and there's nerve pain. Okay, I gotta go. I'm like, okay. I don't want you.

This is the worst thing that a human being has ever suffered through. You know what I mean? I do. I can't even imagine your drama. That was horrible. That was horrible, babe. It was horrible. Yeah, and it's going to be an end to your progress aesthetically. Yeah, there's no more progress now. You're just stuck like this. No, because, oh my God, it is amazing how this shit works. They showed me the photos of day one. You look like a bulldog. Day one, I was like... Yeah.

And then you see it and then it does it in real time. It goes like this and you see all my teeth move like that. My teeth moved. He's like, Oh, it would have been better if you had committed to this more to the program. And I was just like, you get this bullshit off my fucking teeth. Finally. Um, I'm so happy for you. How did you, how did you,

What'd you have? Your struggle. Well, are you going to do a one man show on this? I might. I might. Write a book or something? I might. I've written a book. I might write another book about it. The Jernvisaline Saga. It was horrible. I can't believe that. What about you? What'd you have? Nothing compared to that. I know. That sounds terrible. Yeah. It's been, look, I'm, I gotta be, honestly, I'm pretty fucking traumatized. Like I don't,

I mean, I'm finally reentering the world and it feels weird. And I think, I know I joked about writing a show about it, but I think I might have to because so many women go through this. And it's very life-changing. For people that don't know, it's tit issues, right? Tit cancer. So last time you guys saw me,

I had a lumpectomy and then they gave me a breast reduction and they took a pound of tit meat out of my left boob and I still had a D cup, which is wild. It's pretty wild. Sneaky big tits. But then...

And we thought, as many people did, that that would be the end of it. And then you're good. You're done. And then you're done. You're a little lumpectomy and you're just a tiny bit of cancer. And it turns out there's a lot more. I mean, I'll tell you guys because why not. They found it was 17 centimeters. Yeah. It's about 6.6 inches. And it's not the unique thing, if I may say, is that it wasn't a ball. No. People imagine tumors as always like a mass. Yeah. And yours was...

considered a sheet like a sheet of cancer it was so that's six and a half that's a six and a half inch dick in my tit that's not at all nobody said that

Nobody even once mentioned it. But thank God I had such big tits. It was the fact that my tit, no, I'm serious because the fact that my tit was so big, they told me basically if I had skipped that mammogram, then in a year I would have had invasive cancer. But thank God I had enough room for a dick to be in my tit. Otherwise, dude, it would be like in my chest. No, no, no. It was gnarly. So, so, 10 days. Anyway, they found that big ass cock in my, and then, okay.

10 days after your first surgery, which was a, by the way, the lumpectomy was a big surgery. Just so people know, like they cut you open. They removed a large amount of pound of tissue. Yeah. From my left one. And then the rightie was a little bit less. And then they're like, you know, you have drains. It's a whole thing. And then they're like, all right.

Well, now, you know, you're probably going to be good. And then 10, 11 days later, you go under the knife again. Well, because then we get the phone call from the doc, which is never good. When they're like, all right, is everybody there? We got to get in there like, ah, shit. And then, yeah, she told us that it was way bigger because it doesn't show up on MRI, which, by the way, I want to tell women, I'm not going to do a ton of like these earnest PSAs.

But I will tell you that mammograms only pick up 85% of breast cancers. And I had like a sneaky rare kind. An LCIS is sneaky as shit. Get a breast MRI. If you can get an M a breast MRI, cause that can actually pick it up. Yeah. And yeah, it was undetected for years. It was growing in me for five years. Yeah.

Getting feedback. Oh, sorry. Anyway, so the doc is like, surprise. There goes everybody there. And then I was like, yeah. And they're like, oh, fucking Christina's that bitch. Yeah. And I was like, no, she's here too. And she was like, oh, oh, oh. All right, good. She's like, how's your Invisalign? Yeah. And the doc was concerned. She was worried too, yeah. So then she says, we're going to have to cut off your left breast. And I go, great, take the right one too.

because what's the point like why would i have you know what i mean i'm into symmetry like the old cyclops tits yeah so stupid so they so then i did an eight hour surgery you had a double double mastectomy they took off both of my my fun bags and then they gave you temp tits the temp tracks yeah which i have now which are falsies they're they're implants yeah and um

Yeah. The funny, the funny, the fun part about the second surgery was like eight hours long and I woke up out of anesthesia and they're like, you were totally lucid. Like you were having conversations with nurses. I'm like, Hey Elizabeth, how's the baby doing? Like, cause I think I had slept. Like I had a good rest. That's so good, man. I'm so jealous. You always say that when they take me away. I know. Like the anesthesia is like, it's, I was actually, I was, I pulled the anesthesiologist aside and I was like, it's so good.

is there anything that we can do? Like if I give you cash and she was like, what? But I just, I think it's so cool. But I do think if you were to pose the question to like this audience and you go, which would you rather have?

or Invisalign, then people would probably choose cancer. Invisalign sucks. You have no idea. It sucks so bad. Like, it is effective, but it's like... It's so traumatic for you to go through that. Dude, having your teeth fucked with like that. It's embarrassing. And you're an adult with braces, which is so shameful. You should be ashamed. And having them scraped off. I know. It's seriously... It was worse than what you went through. Okay, so now that we are... Wait, then I had a complication. Yeah. So then my right tick gets infected. And now...

And now the drain's infected. I have four drains. One of them's infected. Anyway, I had to go back and do another surgery. So now it's three surgeries in five weeks. And then after the third surgery, they give me this of drains and then a cool box that's around my neck. Yeah. It's a wound vacuum. A suction vacuum. Yeah. So demeaning. Every time I get up, it's like, meh, meh. I can't do anything. It's a brick. Ooh.

And you hear it going on. She's like, I feel so awful. I know. And I just kept thinking, you don't know Invisalign. You just don't know what it's like. You really don't. There's a lot of people right now nodding. They're like, yeah, it does. So anyway, got the wound back off, got my drains pulled. That was only like, what, two weeks ago. And now I'm back to being a human being again.

And then now I do radiation on my tit. They're going to laser my tit for six weeks, and then I'm done. But I am cancer-free. I'm fucking done. And then they're just going to, yeah, fry my left tit. And then next year, I get to have my breasts reconstructed properly with my proper leg.

With my belly fat. I don't know if you noticed, but I'm really into the Royals and Camilla Parker Bowles hair. I've noticed it because I don't know if you've noticed that I live with you and I see what you fucking watch 24-7. I have so many thoughts on so many British things. There's so many. There's so much going on. I even like I'm on Apple TV. I'm like, what is all this shit? And you're like, it's a special category called BritBox. It's only British programming. And I'm like, great. How do I delete it?

You know why I'm fascinated with them? It's because they're so civilized. Yeah. And I'm not. And I think part of me wants to be like regal like that. Yeah. Because I'm such a fucking donkey. And I, you know. That makes a lot of sense. Yeah. Like I want to be like that. It's who you aspire to kind of be like, right? But I'm never. And then you kind of go through these waves probably where you resent them and can't stand them. And then you're like, what did I do? It's like the club that won't let you in. What is that? Of course.

Of course. Nobody wants to be a member of a club that will have them, right? Right, right, right. I don't want to be them, but I admire the, like they know which fork to use and stuff. Yeah, sure. It's never going to be my life. It's a big deal. All right. I'm going to fix my makeup. I'm so embarrassed. Well, please weigh in. Which would you rather have, cancer or Invisalign? And with that. Cancer, hands down.

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Let's open the show. You ready? Oh my gosh, yeah. Pretty good. I love this guy. Get him on Kill Tony.

He's ready. Yeah. Well, I guess the other, um, thing we should point out is that we have to have like pretty huge announcement. Uh,

Oh, wow. It's a cat eating kibble. Do you want to give the date and time? Shit, I do. Yeah, I have it offhand because I remember August 27th, 11.03 p.m. Do you want to? Go ahead. Tom Segura had a double pipe classic. That's a rare event. It was so casual how it happened. I was laying down and you just walked past me. You need to wipe down. And it was...

A burp and a fart. I was walking around the bed to my side and I actually had my phone. That's why I didn't notice. I was looking at my phone and I went at the same time. And you, I go, yes. You go, hey, you just had a double pipe classic. I was like, you go right down, right down, right down your time. Holy shit.

Yeah. Because it's so casual. The way you did it, you didn't even appreciate it. That's a rare event. Oh, Tom Tom. It's very rare. He's right. I didn't appreciate it. But then I stopped, you know. It was sort of like watching somebody being like, oh, you know, that's Halley's Comet. Yeah. And you're like, oh, shit, really? It's like an eclipse. Yeah. Wow, like.

Yeah, it was pretty amazing. Yeah, that felt good. And then, so speaking of fat chicks, like, so I've been laying in bed watching a ton of British shit, right? And I'm really into Bridgerton. Yes. As you know, which is, I know, listen, I know it's- We both have been watching a lot of stuff. We'll get into mine in a moment, but go ahead. Like, it's super gay. Yeah. I know that.

And also, like, I don't like the forced inclusivity of the show. I think I will say this. And I was so proud of this person on staff who said the thing that I secretly text to other women. Oh.

And she just said it out loud. And I was like, yes, that's exactly the truth. It's that forced inclusivity on Bridgerton, which makes it historically inaccurate. It's just true. And for people that might not be aware, I mean, I'm sure you sense it in society, but when you get into production on shows, especially television shows more than feature films, shows are always like you pitch your story and your characters and they're like, and...

what do they all look like? And they want you to be like, yeah, so me and my best friend who's Indian, and they're like, that's good. They literally are like, yeah, can you show us, tell us about the diversity of this show? I know. And it's just funny to see that done in a period piece because it's like, well, that's not what would have been going on in that. Not in the least. There's no way in hell that the aristocratic people

Another way of saying this is when you watch this show, you're kind of fed up with the blacks. Yeah, the blacks. The forced and then there's the Indian girl. It's fine, but you know what? I actually got used to it by season two. How hard was that? In the beginning, I was upset because I watch a lot of these old school British shows and they're all just whiteys. Pasty, inbred, weird whiteys.

But I got used to the inclusivity of the racial diversity. Yeah. But then in fucking season, this last one, they made the fat girl the hot chick. She's like, she's the most desired one. She ends up, and spoiler alert, if you haven't watched the last season. Hey, press pause. She gets to marry the hottest guy ever.

Of Bridgerton land. Her? Her. Penelope Pig. Jesus, take it easy. That's how mad I was at her. I was laying there recovering from all these surgeries fucking seething at Bridgerton. Like, nuh-uh, dude. She gets the hottest guy. Does that headline say on the left side, third down, far left? That one. Nicole Collin is a little bit fat and a lot hot? Is that? Mm-hmm. That's the headline? Yep. From The Guardian? Mm-hmm.

Oh, and then it says, unlike her, I dream of the day when we're not talking about this. Well, I got to tell you, I fucking hate myself. And it's all I want to talk about. I fucking hate pretending like reality isn't real. Same. I just hate it. I hate it so much. I hate it. And here's the other thing, too. It's not as though her character on the show were that confident. Like that that girl is confident. Yeah.

- But Penelope's character is like, she's like a wallflower. - I was telling Bert this, this is what I love about, like everybody, like you, people in your life, you say nice things, you know what I mean? So like if I'm, let's talk about me in particular, like feel like oh, self-doubt, self-loathing, my body issues, whatever. But my favorite thing about pro athletes, like my friends that are professional athletes,

is that they all are 100%. Like my friend John Feliciano goes, oh, I see you come from a family of flat asses. I saw your mom's ass and your sister's ass. Jesus Christ. And he's like, so that's why you have no ass. I'm like, your whole family's like that? Like they're so direct. And you go like, oh, it's kind of refreshing that they're not like, you know, it's what kind of what we're talking about is like,

People watch that. Everybody has the same thought. Yes. Everybody just goes, oh, wow. That's a big girl. So inclusive. Yeah.

And it is fucking, so you're bothered by this fucking inclusivity. Forced. Forced inclusivity in a period piece especially that is not reflective of reality. I'm bothered that in my true crime documentaries, they keep fucking focusing on the victims. I know. I hate when they humanize the victims and it bums you out for the, like, I want to see the crime. Oh, yeah. Focus on the crime.

And focus on the investigation. How did they solve the crime? When you're like, here she is in graduating high school. It's like, dude, I'm not trying to get bummed out by this. Stop humanizing me. 100%. It's like pornography. Imagine if you had to get to know the girl first before you masturbated to the scene. And I've said this a million times. Every time I've met a porn star, I'm like, well, you just ruined it. Because you're supposed to be something that exists out there. You're an object.

Yep. You're not a real person. Now I've met you and now you, you know, you humanize it. I agree because, you know, because I've been resting so much. Yeah. By the way, how have you handled me sleeping so much? Has that been upsetting? Of course it's upsetting. Of course. But I've been getting into some of your sad murder stuff. Christy Napps. Yeah. Yeah. So you recently, last night or the night before-

It was cool because I had forgotten 9-11. And then you watch a documentary and then I got to remember all the traumas. Minute by minute. They went through it minute by minute. Literally minute by minute. It's really good. It's on Apple Plus. And it's like inside the war room on the day of 9-11. Did you repress those memories? Bring them right back. It brings them right back. You're like, oh, yeah, that was one of the most sad experiences of my life. And then you're just like, now it's time to go to sleep. Good night.

Yeah. That was horrible to watch. That was horrible. But again, and again, victims, victims. It's like fucking show the cool stuff. Just show the fucking hajis blowing planes up. I just want to like, when I watch these murder docs, it's like,

I like seeing the behavioral profile stuff. I like that too, actually. Yeah, and I like seeing here's what happened at the crime, and I like the detectives. And then they're like, it's like, okay, fucking World War II docs, Nazi stuff. It's like, yeah, cool. Let's watch this shit. And then they're like, oh, here's some Holocaust footage. It's like, no, I don't want to see fucking people emaciated in a camp. You're bumming me out, bro. I don't want to see it.

Cut that shit out. Like in this 9-11 doc, remember when they told the story about the married couple? And he's like, it was my birthday. Oh, fuck. She was going to come back on the birthday. And then Barbara left a note on my pillow. And then he reads the note. And I'm like, bro. Or no, he had it committed to memory. No, he had it. Oh, he had to read it? Yeah, he read it. He read it.

He read it. Yeah. It was horrible. Give a shit about Barbara. It was horrible. It was horrible. And I don't want to be sad. Yeah, I know. Again, it was to me that was ruining the documentary. Totally. Like, I don't want to get I don't want to feel sad. I want to see I want to read about it like an investigative, you know, like journalists would hold details. Yeah. Of like.

Here are the facts. I want information. This is why I like British television because it's devoid of emotion and it feels safe. And it's just like, I'm so sorry if I insulted you. Yeah. Well, shout out to all the documentary filmmakers that are not making their docs super bummers with a bunch of victim shit. Just show me the cool stuff. No, you fucking assholes. Unbelievable. But yeah, but first of all,

Yeah, I don't like the Penelope that got to be like the hot girl. That's so dumb because it's not even like he was going hogging. It's not like he was really into fat chicks. It's so implausible. Yeah. It's just ridiculous.

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You're back, and there's stuff to show you. Oh, dude. First of all, Fancy Chef, Fancy Chef, Fancy Chef, Fancy Chef. I was holding back because my whole dream was to introduce Fancy Chef to you on the show, and then he took over my life in a big way. So there was no – I couldn't repress him. I had to share him with you in our life. I was going to try to introduce him to you here, but –

Yeah, Fancy Chef is just, I mean. Say my name, say my name. This is the Beyonce, baby. Look how lovely, look how nice, look how pretty and gorgeous by me, the award-winning chef. How nice. Is that arugula? When I tell you that's going to be taste, that flavor of love is going to be something special, luxurious.

Fancy. Yes, indeed. And fabulous. That is beautiful. That is nice. That is delightful. That is for the ladies. That is for the ladies. Yes. Y'all just thought I'd do food. I'd do it all. Fabulous and nice. That's the Beyonce, baby. That's the Beyonce. I'm going to do the next one of the rocks. That is the Beyonce. When I tell you this is the Beyonce, this is the Beyonce. Say my name. Say my name. Fancy. Say my name. Fabulous. Say my name. Say my name. Yep. Say my name.

I got it. Fancy chef. Beyonce, hit me up, babe. Beyonce, hit me up. What do you think? What's the green in there? I don't know. It might be leaves from the outside. There's strawberries. I know that he made an incredible lamb shank ranch dressing, honey and berries in a wine glass that I was absolutely mesmerized by. I also like when he includes store-bought cakes. So nice. And he's just like, check this shit out. Beautiful.

It's mint. Right. That's definitely a store-bought cake. Yeah. Like from the grocery store. Beautiful and nice. Beautiful and nice. By the chef. Remarkable.

But the lemon wedge, I wouldn't put the lemon wedge next to the chocolate. Look at all those berries right there. Yeah. Yeah. You almost missed that. No, I saw it. Don't you worry. It is fancy and nice, though. I don't know where he is. He is such an eclectic mix of... Is he an employee somewhere? Like a hotel? You're talking, is this five-star world-class chef an employee? Yeah.

You mean... No, of course not. He runs his own shit. I mean, that's fancy and nice as hell, dude. Yeah, of course it is. What do you think he's doing? You can hire him if you have a mansion or if you're a millionaire. I would love to. Okay, I gotta wash my chicken. I got vinegar. You're washing it. This is how you wash a chicken. Nice.

I've never heard of this. One thing I didn't understand here. Are you supposed to wash with the back side of the brush? No. You shouldn't flip that over? You can also just run it under water. That's what I do. No, this is...

This is wrong. No. Yeah, that's really big in the black community though. What's that? Washing your chicken like this. With vinegar? I've heard this before. And the toothbrush backwards. I don't know about the backwards. That might be a fancy chef, fancy way of doing it. You think this is the black people thing? No, I'm saying I always have heard people be like, black guys be like, did you wash your chicken? Yes. But with vinegar? Where's any? Speaking of black guys. That's 818-512-

Should be. Okay. So Zola has spoken to Fancy Chef a few times. And? We're trying to get him to come and cook for us and do the podcast. And he's a little hard to pin down. He's very busy. He said it's like being the president, how many phone calls he's getting every day. Of course. Yeah. So we should try calling him real quick. Of course. Let's see if we can get him. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. He has three phone numbers. Who does that remind you of? Does that remind you of somebody? The president? RPC? Yeah.

Oh, yeah. Multiple numbers. And like a flip phone. Hello? Fancy Chef. Yes. Hey, it's Tom at YMH Pod. How are you? All right. Look, one of my producers here, Zolo, said he spoke to you about possibly coming in to be a guest and cook for us. And I just wanted to see if we could lock something down. Where at? In Austin, Texas. Oh, yeah. This feature. Oh, great. Is that possible that we can confirm that?

Yeah, I told him. I gave him all the information. Oh, he has all the info. Okay. He has everything. My name, everything. Okay, do we have a date? Email. He said the 24th. Okay. All right. So we can expect you then? He'll send, obviously, the first class ticket and the ground transportation. I don't think he did anything. Well, no, no. I see him right now. He said he already reached out to our travel booker to book it. Oh, okay.

You know where I'm coming from? No, where are you? I don't know. He might know. Where are you coming from? Miami. Oh, perfect. Yeah, we have directs from there. Does he want a preference sheet from us? Oh, yeah. As far as the cuisine, will you just be creating something or do you take requests or how does that work? I don't care. Whatever I want to do. Really? Wow. I'm first time. I've been doing it over 40 years. Wow. That's amazing. And you're self-taught, right?

um yes and no i like to say yes and no but uh i grew up in the kitchen at four years old okay but i trained under two chefs andre renee in new york and seppi wrangley and russo that's that i did airline catering uh under chef russo okay um i did uh new york under seppi wrangley andre renee so yeah so it's kind of like both but

On the job, it's cool though. Okay. Can I ask you a culinary question that I just don't know? I was watching your videos. What's the idea behind washing a chicken with vinegar? You can do it with vinegar or lemon juice. It just knocks out the bacteria. And then the toothbrush, you scrub it?

Yeah, I just did something creative, something different. That's all. I could have used my hands. Oh, you can use hands. I could have used my hands, but I just used the toothbrush. Sure. Got you. The backside. That's all I want. Okay. What do y'all prefer? Anything specifically? I actually get... I try to make it simple. I actually get... I think he told me two people or four. I don't know what the count was. I mean, extra fancy. I told him New York Strip. Okay. I could have did Red New Potatoes.

Asparagus and a sauce. If I want to change it, I don't mind. If everybody don't eat red meat, I could have did a... Can we do sea bass? I could do a sea bass. I don't know if I want to wrestle with seafood. Oh, okay. Oh, I could have did a quarter chicken or I could did anything. But I don't want to wrestle with seafood, really. Oh, okay. I don't mean wrestle with the smell, but... Yeah, I hear you. Do y'all have a kitchen I could use? Yeah, yes.

Yes. And then dessert-wise, can you do dessert too? Yeah, piece of cake. Nice. I told him to get seasonal fruit, though. Remember, when it says seasonal fruit, if you go to a restaurant and you see the menu, it depends on what season it is. For sure. Some people don't know what it means. Of course, we can do seasonal fruit. Would you be down to bake some type of cake or something like that?

I don't know. I'll probably do a strawberry mousse. Yeah. Oh, my God. By the way, you really have an affinity for strawberries, right? It seems like you love strawberries.

Yeah, I do. The smell and the taste and the ferociousness of the color and the color contrast really stands out a lot. And then is that your own creative take? Because a lot of times, it's fascinating, I've seen a lot of berries in glasses. Is that something that you were kind of mentored on or did you just kind of take that on your own?

I kind of took it on my own, but in a lot of high-end restaurants, it is like that. So it is creative, and that's really the only way that you can... Very. Oh, my God. I saw this outstanding... It was like a piece of art where it was a glass, and you had berries, a rack of lamb, I think ranch and honey, and maybe some floral petals or something in there. It looked like something in a museum. It was incredible. Yeah, I did. I did. Yeah, I do remember. Yeah, I remember that. Oh, yeah.

Yeah, I do remember that. And again, like I said, it depends on exactly what y'all want. Okay, anything but seafood. I want what he wants. Yeah, I think we would love to be just like, let you take the reins and do your thing, you know? But definitely dinner and some dessert would be... I don't know, do you do wine pairings or should we bring in somebody for that? It might be good to bring somebody in. I could do wine pairing. I'm not good with wine.

I could do wine pairing. Do y'all want something in particular? I mean, to tell you the truth, I didn't want to do anything I knew. I wanted to do something that I could just throw off the top of my head. No, I'm not like doing it because I get bored easy. Oh, sure. You're an artist. That's how I keep the innovativeness and the creativity is, you know, long.

I just do my own. This is really how a lot of dishes are. Every dish is created. There's no dish that, you know, it's not created by somebody that didn't create when they own mindset. It doesn't work that way. You know, so the more you create in your own mindset, the better it is. You become someone that's, you know, innovator and, and,

It's a trend to start. So many people call me with that. I get calls every single night. I get so many calls during the day. I got three phones. I get over 3,000 calls a day. 3,000? Jesus. So you don't work at any establishment? It's all private right now?

Yeah, a dual pump. $3,000. That's amazing, man. A dual pump. Wow, I'm excited. Like I said, y'all want to change it? Y'all want to add something? Or maybe when I get there, I may do something extra. Because like I said, I cook all day. You lock me in the kitchen. Yeah. You know, so yeah. Oh, yeah, we see. I mean, I don't know how you keep up with your feed. You're just always posting sometimes the same video multiple times. But it's just like it's incredible to see that level of productivity.

Yeah, I got a lot of feedback and a lot of, I got calls from the, what's this place called?

in the middle east oh like in in uh uae like abu dhabi or dubai yeah the prince called me his assistant i got like 8 000 million calls in canada texas called me chicago called me i've been in courses i just all began it all was just kind of like a mistake yeah i would say you know maybe you know if i had to but the

It wasn't done in 10, so I just got creative one day. I love it, man. Well, you're worldwide. Clearly, you're worldwide. And I'm looking at the guy that you spoke to, and he's locking down your travel right now. So he'll be in touch with you. His name is Josh. And yeah, we'll do the car service and fly you first, of course, put you up and your fee. And we're just really excited to eat your food, man.

Yeah, I'm going to make sure I have everything. Please don't leave nothing. It's pretty simple. Please don't try to leave nothing. I can't really bring... There's always a hassle when I bring my knives. I have them stolen a number of times from the airline when I bring my own roll-up. Chef knife, hammer knife. Yeah, no, we'll be all set up. Make sure they're sharp. I really didn't want to just do the sit-down. I wanted to really and truly entertain as far as the...

the podcast go, I didn't want to just do that. That would be pretty boring for me. I think it would highlight it a lot, the live cooking, the questions, so on and so forth. That would pretty much just add the icing on the cake. Okay. Well, we'll do even a... We'll do a... We'll do a reconfirmation of the checklist before you come, so we're just...

triple sure that you have everything you need and um yeah man you know we'll have tons of fresh fruit seasonal fruit and the the whatever you you request as far as equipment it'll be there and uh we're really excited this is one thing i require yes also no paper plates or anything okay no you got it no paper plates no paper plastic hey write that down but i forbid my phone and i don't think y'all gonna go that route but

I just need the nice plates. I gave him a setup. If y'all get like a table and get a white tablecloth, nice glasses, you'll see how beautiful it'll be. And I'm telling you, the podcast is going to go

A lot. Just that alone is really truly going to add color contrast and professionalism to it. You got it, man. I'm not asking for much. It's not nothing y'all can't use on your own afterwards. Of course. Great point. Thank you, Chef. We'll talk to you soon. Okay, bye. I mean, you guys have been trying to get a hold of him for a minute, right? It's not that fucking hard to...

Check off the list that he gave you, okay? We'll have it all. No paper plates. We'll have it ready for him. Seasonal fruit. Anything you want minus the entire world of seafood. Anything but seafood. I don't really want to fuck with that. It smells.

I've never heard a chef be like, oh, it smells kind of shitty. I know. I know. I know. They usually, but he likes strawberries. He's like, what do you want? My favorite seafood. Yeah, don't fuck with that. Okay. Anything you want. Okay. Yeah. Okay. I mean, that's pretty incredible moment. I would like to try those flavors where he puts the lamb, the strawberry, and the ranch together. I think it's possible. I think it's interesting in the glassware.

I'll tell you, but I think we should get, and I know it's possible, and it's worth the rental, whatever investment, a portable, full, you know what I mean, oven burners set up. Yeah, we'll have it all set up. We can all have it here. And if you fucking fuck up the plates or the silverware...

I mean, you should, by the way, get every goddamn piece of cooking equipment known to man for this guy. When I was asking him what kind of plates he wants, because they need to be the highest end, he's like, home goods. Home goods has the best. And then he goes, go to the clearance section. You'll find really good stuff there. He's right. Home goods crushes. Well, the nice thing is, you're going to be taking that stuff home with you afterwards. Yeah, man. Yeah.

That's so exciting. I can't wait for Fancy Chef. This is very exciting. Can I also have something exciting I have to share with you? Yeah, of course. One second. I'll be right back. Seriously? Yeah, just vamp a minute. Okay. Today is just like, I don't know what's going on. I don't know what is going on with this lady. I know. I'm just filling the air. That's what it's called. I'm just talking. I am. I am talking to this wonderful staff. We're talking about Fancy Chef coming here. You're...

What am I gonna what? What do you want him to make you? Um, sea bass? He doesn't do that. Yeah, my only request. And he was like, yeah, no. What else do you want? He can make dessert. I don't know. Maybe. Oh my goodness. Oh my God.

Can you guess what my update is? Oh my god. This is fucking unbelievable, man. This is... Yeah, man. Fucking Manchester. This is a YMH exclusive. YMH exclusive. YMH exclusive.

What did you do while you were gone? Guess what I made happen? We manifested it. It fucking... It happened, which is really, I think, crazy because it was not in the ethers. It really wasn't. When I presented this option to Liam and to Noel Gallagher, Oasis is back together. Incredible. Yeah, no, it was fucking... I think it's this guy right here. I'm serious. But you said...

I watch a lot of detective shows. Go ahead, Mike. You said that you would go airtight with Oasis in order to get them back together. And then what we know is the end of the story. Oasis announced they're going to do shows again for the first time in 25 years. So what happened? What happened?

That's for me to know. No, no, that's for everyone to know. You guys know what fucking happened. Here's the problem is that, okay, here's what I did. I promised them the DP. Everybody knows. Everybody watches this podcast. Yeah, yeah. Nolan Liam-

We love the idea, mate. We're on board. And then now it's to get them to- Manchester. Manchester. I'm the Duke of Manchester. We have to get them to America. To do this. Right. Oh, no. You need a new offer because they already announced they're doing dates. Right. And I have to make- You have to do something. Well, no. You have to make good because they're already together. Yeah, I know. You have to raise the bar. I don't know. I know. I know. How do you raise the bar? I don't know.

I did say a DP and I think what I meant was an airtight and I asked the brother oh because there's another brother there's a third brother that's not a musician we can go airtight if you want to bring the brother over this is a cool offer yeah you got it I mean I'm just so pumped I really hope they make it to America will you go to the show of course I'm going to go to the show Agent Jeans already knows we're reserving tickets if they go to Vegas I'd like to see them

If they make it, I don't know though. Cause these fools don't, you know, they fight just like fucking a homeboy punched out Dave Navarro the other night. Perry Farrell. That was fucking, that was wild. That was crazy. Wild. And Perry agreed to come on your mom's house and it's been so long. Where the fuck are you? Perry for all. Come on and tell us your side of the story. I'm dying to hear what is up between Perry and Dave. What's the beef? Where's the beef?

Do you like Oasis? Yeah. Do you respect them? You do. Oasis, yeah, they're great. You come with me to see them. Fuck yeah, I would go. Yeah, they're kind of great. Yeah. I'm so fucking stoked. I would go, more than, like, the music is great. I would go just to hear their shit-talking between songs. I know. Because I bet it would be fucking hilarious. Yeah. Because Liam's more of the shit-talker and Noah's, like, the sensitive songwriter, you know? Yeah, yeah. Yeah, it's pretty fucking great, man. I know.

They might get through eight shows before they break up again. I know. I think the only show they will probably do is Manchester. And then they'll be like, fuck off. It's so much money, though. They sold out so many tickets so quickly. The UK just went nuts. Of course. I like Oasis. Yeah. Yeah. I do, too. But I guess they're seen as... Speaking of the poors, I...

Come on, man. No, I just realized that it's worth saying. Yeah. You know, a while ago, I made this observation that washcloths were for the poors, that only poors use them.

And so what I did was I investigated this, right? I spoke to an anthropologist. I spoke to a dermatologist. I spoke to a panel of poors. And then I spoke to ultra wealthy people. And what I discovered is that I was 100% correct. But I also have since learned that they were onto something and that those washcloths are just amazing for washing your ass. And I...

have been using them. I know I've said, but like I, the other day I was in a hotel and I grabbed the washcloth and I was like, I can't believe I'm one of these guys now. And I'm in there, I'm just digging, just scrubbing my ass, you know, soapy like material coming off of the washcloth. And then you look at it, it's brown. So you rinse it and you do it again, you know? And I was like, man, this really is incredible that they

and they kept it to themselves. But then, hold on, but then you've got this brown nasty washcloth in the shower and what do you do? You just leave it there? You just throw it down on the ground, yeah. Yeah.

So disgusting. Yeah. But it's really incredible. They really figured that one out. I just wanted to give them props. Yeah. Well, now you're on board. You're team washcloth, which is crazy because you're like an Oasis fan. You're like me now. You're garbage. I am. Because in the beginning you were such a snob and people really got on you for this washcloth thing. They were like, well, how do you do it? And I was like, with my hands? And everybody was like, you're fucking out of your mind. And they were right. I just wanted to say, you were fucking right. So now you're team poor.

Are you telling me you're one of the poors? I actually do feel like those who have not, and most people that I associate with, have not done that, and I feel like they're missing out. I've not tried it. I mean, I don't like it. I want to use this, guy. It's incredible. It's really great. Try it once. Then I have to clean the washcloth that's got my ass juice on it. No, you just throw it away or something. Then who's going to... I don't know. Just find somebody. That's...

So stupid. Trash it? Yo, what did you catch me throwing on your floor the other day? Throwing on your floor? Remember I was talking to you and there was like something gross. Was it a bandage? Like one of my... Absolutely revolting. What was it? I don't know. Everything you throw on the ground is disgusting. So I don't know how you were like offended by the dirty ass washcloth.

You have your fucking floss. It wasn't a toothpick. It was like a body fluid thing. Oh, my God. It was like a... Maybe I blocked it out. No, I had like a... I want to say like a bandage or something, like a wound thing. And I was like, oh, that's fucking done. Remember? Yeah. I don't know. I did. And you got mad at me. And you're like, don't throw it there. I'm like, why? Why? Who cares? Fucking gross. You're nasty. You're nasty as hell. Hey, lady. No. You're like a guy who has hemorrhoids.

I'm your man. Yeah, I know. That's cool. Pretty cool, huh? Yeah. Do you like hemorrhoids? I'm your man. What's the angle? Is he just going for radical honesty? Yeah. He's thinking that's going to... He's just trying to be funny. He's LOLing. It's humorous. Yeah. He's kind of poking fun at himself. It's endearing. Yeah. I kind of like it. Well, yeah. I didn't know that this was a thing. This is all new to me.

Hey everyone, it's injector Chris here at Lushful Aesthetics. I'm here with my lovely patient and today we're going to be doing whole tox. So you're probably wondering what whole tox is. Well, it's Botox for your whole. And so what we utilize is toxin, which is Botox. And we use an anoscope to visualize the internal sphincter where we inject the Botox to.

This is to help relax the anal sector so that it's easier to receive anal sex. For some people they use this to help treat and prevent fissures if they're a recurring issue and for some people it's just because of pleasure.

No thanks man. No. No. Hard fucking pass bro. No I've seen this. This is what the gay bros are into. Really? So wait. I don't understand the idea behind Botox in your asshole though. Well it relaxes your sphincter. It paralyzes the muscle. That's what Botox does. So aren't you just leaking though?

Bro, you're asking me? I'm assuming, yeah, huh? Yeah. Because then how does it close up when you're done making browns and stuff? That's what I'm asking. Dang. Yeah. Cool, man. This is fucking dumb, huh? Fuck, bro. Yeah, you shouldn't do this to yourself. Yeah, that's not... Zillow, can you... I don't know. Do we want to know more about this? There'll be nobody ever, obviously, that is...

in our lives and does what he did. Like, how do you get a job here? Fuck face. Oh, the feds. Yeah. Fucking you fucking retard. Yeah. Um, Herc with his, his, uh, specialty car. Uh,

You know, but it does turn out that somebody who's out there kind of drifting around and getting their hands on some some meth every now and then can behave in a similar way and also can get some pretty cool transportation. And we found somebody just like him.

Right? That's just dumb. Fucking rad. Hell yeah, dude. I'm gonna let it shine. I'm gonna let it shine. Heaven let your light shine down on me. Heaven let your light shine down on me. Shine.

How about that? Do you want to know something my oncologist told me? What? Pieces of shit live forever. Isn't that fascinating? Yeah. It's so crazy because I was in there. I'm like, I'm 48 and I'm dealing with this. She's like, I know. She's like, if you want to live forever, be a piece of shit. Literally said this? Yeah. You should be mean. That's what she said. Like mean people live forever. And I think there's some validity to that. Right. And pieces of shit.

Case in point, Your Honor, look at my dad. Look, he's fucking almost 80 years old. Yeah. Full alcoholic, right, for just his whole life. We're talking eating sausage, chicken.

Every day. Bacon, like no green vegetables, doesn't drink water. You got to get it going, buddy. You got to get it going. He's going to live. Yeah, he's going to live. No cancer, fine. And then this guy. This guy's going to live forever. This guy's going to live forever. Isn't that wild? He's going to be fine. I know. You'll never see him get a chemo. And isn't it funny that an oncologist, the person that you see, their specialty is cancer. And they're like, do you know what my observation is after thousands of patients?

Real fucking selfish turds live forever. There's some validity to it, though, because it's always the nicest people that die young, right? It's never, well, that guy deserved it. They always live forever. That's for sure. This is America, right? Yeah, it is, man. This guy's amazing. What's on the card? What's the information there? It's like a card? Oh, it's a business card. It's blown up. That's pretty cool. Dude, can you do this to my car? What do you want to do? The fucking whole style. It's rad. Shut up.

I like it. It's nice. I feel like I want to do math. Like if I figure, if I get sick again and they're like, guess what? This is your last time on earth. This is it. Math is a first stop for me. I feel like I, after all these years, if you tell me, what do you really want to get into? It's math. It really is.

I love that fucking energy. You know, I got a lot of shit to do. There's things to get done. There's so much stuff to do. Look how busy we are, man. I'm fucking busy. Look how thin he is. He looks great. He does look great. How come Herc wasn't thin? I'm just fucking watching protein intake. I want to do meth. Fucking tweak out, man, you know? How come Herc was still, he was chunky, no? He was. Like how come some meth people don't get skinny? I don't get that. I don't know. Maybe he didn't have a lot of balance, you know?

Herc was really unique. Maybe he was tweaking and binging and drinking. I'm trying to think because I know people that did meth and none of them were fat. It is weird. Unless when you come down because you don't sleep or eat for like three days. He was just gorgeous. And then you really go on a purge. If you've done meth and gotten fat, let us know. Yeah, tell us that story.

Take it easy, fuckhead. Fuckhead? Yeah. This guy's amazing. Do we have a name for this person? Let's see. I have a little info card here. His name is Keith... Of course. ...Mordasky. In his town, he is known as Cowfucker and Leopardman, according to a Reddit page.

Fuck yeah. Yeah. But he's such a Keith, isn't he? Yeah. He's totally a Keith. Where does he live again? He lives in... It's got to be somewhere small. It's in Connecticut. Oh, dang. This guy's in Connecticut? Yeah. That's like Cracker Town. They know him as Cowfucker and Leopard Man. That's pretty cool, man. I'm a big fan. Way to go, man. But nothing makes me happier than these videos. Hey! Hey! Hey! Hey!

Oh shit bro! Right on the neck too, that's the worst one. Show you the...

Do you want to know something interesting, Tom? That's what you're supposed to feel, man. You're supposed to feel the way I hammered your tailbone. That's what you're supposed to feel at the base of your neck and on your tailbone. A fucking hammered mallet. Do you want to know something about me that's changed? Is that I laugh at violence now. Hey! Finally. And I think it's because when you get fucked up physically, you're like, fuck this guy. He put himself here, you know?

I mean? Oh, right. Okay. Now I'm like, you're just a fucking dummy. Okay. I didn't know that. You stupid piece of shit. You deserve it. And you'll be fine. Idiot. You fucking idiot. He's like, lay down, lay down. That can't. Oh, dude. Dude. There's no way. That's a mallet.

It's like a cartoon. It's like Tom and Jerry shit. You feel better? You good now? Fuck. That is brutal. This isn't even Russian. No, this, it looks like, isn't that Portuguese? Hold on. I have a Pajitsky effect. I have a very, very dumb one. So I've been into ice cream lately.

like eating ice cream oh my god i can't even imagine i know did you know bro and i don't know if i'm right but did you know that it's cookies in cream not cookies cream my whole life i thought it was cookies and cream and i didn't realize that was cookies in cream did you know what i'm saying no bro do you know what i'm saying

What is the fucking flavor called? I thought it was cookies and cream. Yeah. Okay, well, this place here in Austin calls it cookies in cream. But that's like a play on the name. Okay, so what is it supposed to be? Well, cookies in cream. And cream? Yeah. But why is it cookies in cream? Because they're saying that the cookies are crumbled in the cream of ice cream. The N denotes...

Or in? Is the n, and, and, or in? Smart chat? I think it's and, but maybe they say just an n to shorten it. For the and. Cookies and cream implies cookies and cream. But if it says cookies in cream, it could be just an ice cream place's way of saying there's cookies in the ice cream. Like playing with the name.

It was a good observation. When you're a foreigner, you're born a foreigner. God damn, dude. You are, by the way. You're Canadian born. Canadian born. You're not from these parts. Not from these parts.

No, but when your parents are both fucking foreign. No, I get it. I don't. We both say wrong shit because of foreign parents. I used to only have one. For sure. Your first 20 years are spent speaking retard English. You don't know anything. That's a good way of describing it. Yep. That is a really good way of describing it. Yeah. How good is it to be back in the studio? It's a studio. I'm a little, I'm a little shell shocked, I'll be honest. But I'm slowly like getting back into it. And I'm, I'm so pumped, dude. I'm so stoked today.

Had that three-way with Oasis and then I made this happen. You definitely made that reunion happen. And now I'm going to bring them to America. Yep, yep. And when they get here, you can get on stage with them and just... Do they need a drummer? Yeah. You'll be their drummer. Yeah. Imagine if they let you sing with them. Shine! Come on and shine! That was not bad. It's not bad.

He's got a voice. That guy's not a bad singer. Not a bad singer. No, it's good to be back. Yeah, I always love insanity and lunacy and...

A fancy chef is coming. That's insane. We just booked fancy chef. That's insane, bro. You made a plea to all the filmmakers out there. Stop forcing inclusivity into British periods. I made a plea to all the documentary filmmakers. Stop focusing on the victims. Just show us the cool shit. I don't want to see victims and how sad their families are now. Fucking bumming me out.

You guys know whether to weigh in, which is worse, Invisalign or cancer. I'm going Invisalign. Welcome back, Jean. Welcome back. We love you. I love you too, mate. Fucking parkas are cool. And joining us for the first time, you can catch Slipknot on tour now at Slipknot1.com. It's rock and roll's own Corey Taylor, everybody. What? I know. I know.

It's a long time coming. Thank you. Hell yeah, man. I'm so stoked to be here. Thank you for coming in. Oh, no, thank you for having me, man. Oh, please. This is a huge thrill. This is coming out a couple weeks after we record, but you're here in Austin because you guys are doing the Moody tonight, and you're on tour. 25 years. Yeah. That's a lot. It's a lot. It's a lot of years. Thanks, brother. The thing I think that happens when you're in entertainment,

entertainment and performing that always blows me away. The thing I'm impressed by is always just that somebody can have the career you have over time. The fact that you guys are touring on this scale 25 years in, it's really impressive. It's actually crazy. Thank you for that, by the way. It's really impressive. It's bigger than it's ever been, which is insane. How do you credit that? How do you analyze that?

I have to credit it to our fans, to be honest. Obviously, there's the product that we put out. There's the art that we put everything into. But it's the fans who have kept us where we are. The fans have been so devoted over the years where even...

when we have taken hits in our personal lives and our professional lives, they have been there to support us, you know? And because of that, we've always gone above and beyond for them, you know, just trying to do everything that we can to give them the best show, give them the best music. Like, and you have nine times out of 10, you hope you nail it as long as you, and they know that if it comes from us, it's coming from the heart. So they know that,

If it's true, then they can feel it and they can trust it. And I think what I like about you guys is how obviously dark fucking sighted you are. You're goth as fuck. Mad respect. But because it is so...

I don't hate the word brave, but it is such a lane. It's such a creative choice and you guys went all in on it. - Yeah, it's dark. - It's so scary. - We went super dark, yeah. - Yeah, but that's so rad 'cause so many people would be like, "Oh, I can't." - I can only imagine the amount of executives that saw you starting and were like, "Ah, no." - I'll tell you a very funny story.

We were actually, and this is, it's a story that some people know, but not a lot of people are like, it's not a wide one. We were,

originally slated to sign with Sony Records. And Ross Robinson, the producer, was already on board to do it and whatnot. Our original manager actually worked for Sony Records, had worked the deal out and everything, but nobody had heard us. He just was like, trust me? Oh, yeah. So we end up having a

We have this show, showcase in Vegas, actually, on the Strip at the old Gameworks, right? And they called it the Edam Festival. And basically, it was all of the bands that Ross was producing, right? So we were on it. Amen was on it, which is an amazing punk band. And like a couple others.

we went on right before Amen. And it was like 150 people. It wasn't a lot of people, right? It was just in this little room next to an arcade. Like you could see people ordering pizza and shit. You know, you're just like, all right, whatever. We proceeded to just destroy. It was so fucking satanic. And little known to us was one of the massive executives at Sony in the back. It was this

The next day literally killed the deal. Really? Killed the deal. Wrote a memo to everyone involved and said, if this is the future of music, I don't want to be alive.

So fast forward. You know that guy's name, right? Year and a half. I do. I'm not going to give him any free press. Fast forward a year and a half, we go platinum. And then we go double platinum. When we went double platinum, we sent a bouquet of dead roses to him at Sony. And all it said was, we are the future of music. We want you dead. Yeah.

Slipknot. That's fucking awesome. Yeah. So we've always kind of like, maybe not recently, but we've always had kind of a chip on our shoulder because everyone has assumed that

that they just, that we're just like, ah, they'll never make it. And on paper, we shouldn't have, you know? So it's, we're pretty, we're pretty proud. But it's the, it's the authenticity. Right. I think what you were speaking about, that that shit is real. Yeah. And you know, you're fucking angry kids from Iowa. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. And anybody from Iowa knows what the fuck we're talking about. It's so dark and gloomy there, you know, cause I spent time, I toured that state for a while. I drove through that state and it was so ominous, just the windmills and the gray. What's so flat. Like nobody talks about cause it's as flat as Kansas and yet Kansas gets more, you know, PR. So, um,

That it's, and people need to understand that now it's like paradise compared to when I was growing up. Right. I mean, they always, you, um, the, the,

kind of press things about they're like fastest developing cities think companies are opening it's always like celebrated as like a great place to raise a family a lot of um a lot of tech companies put down roots a lot of insurance companies actually so it balanced out the agricultural side of everything yeah and a lot of money went into it so it i want to say it doubled in size within 10 years which is crazy and that was right around the time i moved

So I missed all the good shit. I was like, son of a bitch. You got the raw ears. I got the raw dog ears. I was thinking about the story you just told that pretty much I think every big band

has the experience of some fucking guy being like, this is bullshit. Who the fuck is this? And it's got to be like, I don't know. I imagine the ones that have any self-awareness, it has to be a very sobering thing when people go like, hey, you know who you told us not to sign? They just sold fucking a million records. And honestly, and the crazy thing is, is that the guy who really saw the potential for us at Roadrunner, Monty Conner, he...

was somebody who there were several bands that he tried to sign that went on to get signed at other places. So I think that was one of the ways that he was able to get us on Roadrunners because they saw the missed opportunities. Yeah.

Also, we were working with Ross, who at the time was a god, just in that genre period. He's just one of the greatest ears for primal, emotional sludge metal. The Cure album he did is insane. Which one did he do? He did Blood Flowers. Wow. It's so incredible. Really? Yeah. It's one of the darkest...

Cure albums fucking ever. It's also, I think, so good for artists to hear. Like in any lane, when you hear stories like that story of you guys performing, it's not the same, but it kind of is in comedy too. You just do these gigs that are just...

fucking brutal right and like if somebody there's people who see you at them who are like you don't quit your day job okay right and you have to push through it right you have to go like you you're like no this is what i do right and and there's shit gigs are part of it you know but you when people go like you don't have it you still have to fucking believe which is which is fucked up and then dealing with peers coming up at the same time and then suddenly you start to rise above them

The passive aggressiveness that you guys have to deal with that we've, I'm sure you guys have dealt with that where it's like almost like the jealousy part. It's like, dude, we were friends. Like, why are you coming at me going? It's like, oh, okay. You know? And you just, yeah. Like, and we got it first in our hometown. Yeah.

And then we got it from the bands. Hold on. Iowa. You're from? Des Moines. Des Moines. Yeah. Yeah. The Des Moines haters. Yeah, man. Well, and trust me, they fucking hate. They still hate us. They do. They still hate us. Really? Small town haters. And it's weird, too, because- Wait, so would you say after Iowa, it was then what? No. I mean, after Iowa, it would have been the bands on Roadrunner. Ah, okay. Who-

were the bands that we loved. You're the big shot. Exactly. And then it slowly balanced out, you know, but at the same time, you know, what people don't realize is that we went back home and tried to help those bands in Des Moines, like tried to give them a platform. We've got three or four of those bands signed and, and,

for whatever reason, it didn't work out. We took all of those Roadrunner bands out with us. The second that we started to get bigger, we were like, let's go, man. Let's all of us go. And it became, I don't want to say salacious, but at the same time, it was just tragic how quick...

the egos would turn and i'm just as bad you know but at the same time we were really trying to put we were trying to balance out maybe the guilt of like blowing up the way we did with trying to help out the bands that we loved you know and it wasn't all of them you know because we still have a lot of friends from a lot of those bands that were on that on that label but we

definitely were put in a situation where it was almost lose-lose. And all we could do was just kind of band together and just say, all right, fuck it. Let's just go. Which was definitely the right decision. There's nothing more you can do. Exactly. But also to celebrate your 25 years and the fact that you're here tonight, I think this is what we put together for you. Oh, shit. Yeah.

I still can't watch this without dying, dude. Oh, man. He's got... He's just... This is for all you guys. You're staying alive all these years. It's like you can hear the sandpaper in his throat. Brutal. So good. Can I ask you such a stupid question? So...

- You guys, 'cause I know you're a very visual band. You're very like, woo! Did you guys get Airplay on MTV? Are you on like Headbangers Ball? Or like back in the day, how did you get-- - Our first video got banned. - No, yeah, I was gonna say. - First video got banned.

And that was like the most fun. And then we could say that. We were like, yeah, see? It's like getting arrested for drugs. Yeah, exactly. It's pretty fucking cool, man. Our second video, we had two different versions. So they kind of played both versions. It was Wait and Believe. It was like the big kind of single. But the first one was Spit It Out. And they were like, no, this is way too crazy. And all it was was live footage. But then we recreated The Shining. Yeah.

which was cool that's very cool it's super cool we maybe spent 50 bucks on it wow and it's still one of my favorite videos you got the press of we were banned exactly that's cool first bit the first video get banned on MTV and then the first video yeah it was our first video but your first right not the first no not the first video which I wish you could claim oh god that'd be great yeah real um I want to say that well I can't remember what that was what was the like like the guys that did like those booty rock shit

- Two Live Crew, like one of the first? - Yeah, they were definitely one of the first. - Booty rock. - Yeah, it's all like pussy rock. - Well, I was wondering, 'cause I could've swore that they had a video for S&M, which was on the album before, as nasty as it wanna be or whatever. That song was so gnarly for a 14-year-old kid. - Oh my God. - It's in here!

bring your ding dong in I was like let's go that's some trailer park shit triple x-rated oh they were brutal like me and my friends were listening we were like

This is fucking crazy. Face down, ass up. That's the way you like to fuck. I even know that. Yeah, and I'm a goth chick. I shouldn't fucking know Buddha Brown, but we loved it. I was a goth kid, but I loved old school hip hop. I loved the Ghetto Boys. I loved Public Enemy. I mean, all this shit. That's what I grew up listening to. Public Enemy was really one of those...

that kind of transcend. Because there's so much rage in it. And so the anger and the message. It was real shit. It was real shit. He's still like that to this day. One of the sweetest dudes I've ever met. When I met him, he's one of the few dudes that...

I mean, I freaked out. Because, I mean, he's like my favorite hip-hop artist. I went to watch him speak. Oh, right. So I managed the college radio station for one year. And they sent us to this, like, whatever, radio retreat in New York. We all just fucked off for three days and just partied in New York. But then the one thing I saw on the itinerary, Chuck D giving a talk 10 a.m. in this one ballroom. So, I mean, I was just like...

Right. And I remember that he started, he was like, all right, I usually don't get up this early. And then I don't even remember what he said. Right. But like, yeah, I was just there just to watch John D. He's so cool. He really is. Yeah. He's very cool. He's very open. And. Very artist. Like he would, if you guys had a musician's union, I feel like he'd be president of the union. Oh, 100%. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Because he, like he fights for everybody. He really does. He doesn't fuck around. Yeah.

wait so let's go back to you because I've been intrigued with Slipknot for so long I really have you're from Iowa I know that I know you have like a rough childhood stuff yes you go through a lot of shit can you give me like I mean I don't know how much you want to talk about but what's what's the snapshot and then how brilliant that you parlay that into this really unique music that resonates with so many other angry fucked up kids it's so great it's interesting um

When I was younger, I didn't realize that I had a propensity for heavy music. When I started teaching myself how to play, I just wanted to play songs and play. It was very much like my solo stuff, basically. But because of the background that I had, growing up, abused, all categories. And then being homeless, OD'd twice by the time I was 16.

And my friends left me in a dumpster and a dumpster. Yeah Yeah It was oh and I think it was only because they moved me that I actually was able to stay alive Because then I woke up because they were like we just got a put your body somewhere Yeah, they were just like we can't take him. Yeah, they just left me in a dumpster so all of that you kind of look at that and then I fast forward to I'm doing music with my original band stone sour and

But there was always something that was kind of like, I was almost like kind of pulling at the chain. You know, I just like, I wanted something more. So I see Slipknot play their very first show. I was right, like front row. And I've never had this thought since. And I had never had it before that. But I was like, I'm going to be the singer for this band. Really? Yeah. And how old are you? I was, at the time I was 23. And then two years later they asked me to join. What?

Which was crazy. Yeah. Because we all knew each other, you know? So you did know those guys? Yeah, yeah. We were all... Slipknot, what a lot of people might not know, is like Slipknot was made up of a lot of people from the scene, you know? And we all knew each other. We'd all played shows together. But we also recognized the people in each band who...

That guy's driven. That guy's hungry. That guy's talented as fuck. And that's what your band's made up of. Exactly. We were the dudes who would have stepped on the necks of our dead mothers to fucking get there. You have to, right? That's part of why you're there. And I think it's also one of the reasons why we were so ferocious in the beginning. We have very little memory of the first year and a half that we toured because we were so...

Just go. I saw home maybe a month and a half in that whole time because we were just fucking gone the entire time. It played every territory that would let us in.

Even the places that banned us, we would play like the borders. Like we were banned in Greece for the longest time. So we would just play. Greece? Yeah. A whole country? You got to keep these motherfuckers out. Well, that place was so convinced that we were satanic. Oh, really? Oh, and they take that shit very seriously, man. So I was like, all right. They finally let us in. And we played like this. I'm getting off topic a little bit. We played this like crazy, amazing like show.

like this natural amphitheater. And dude, people were like, it's a sheer mountain on the other side. And people are climbing and coming over the top to get to our show. And I'm just like, this is some shit out of World War Z. Like it was nuts, man. But to go back, when I joined that band, I honestly had, it was almost like I had to relearn

everything that I knew about making music. Cause this was just a hot, yeah, man. Cause they were so, there were no bounds, no boundaries when it came to music. You know, we, if we wanted to use, you know, death metal, punk, hardcore, hip hop,

electronica. Can I ask you this about that? Because this is really fascinating. Yeah. And that like, you know, if you take a guy that plays keyboard, right. And maybe piano or whatever. And, and, and maybe there's a songwriter. Sometimes the songwriting will be like, Hey, I got this melody. Right. And then the songwriter will go like, okay, I,

I think, you know, and then he uses the melody and goes, and it's like, it's like easy to understand. Even as a non musician, you're like, Oh, I get it. Like you're hearing the melody and then you're going to write some words. Right. When you have like your size band and, and all the elements, like how do you construct a song? It's, it's interesting because a lot of it kind of comes down to in the beginning, you

We would just go, we would get in the room and go, who's got an idea? And nine times out of 10, it would either be Mick or Joey, actually, who would have a riff. And it's like, check this out. And we would start to just, and we would just worry at it and worry at it. And build on it. Exactly. When we did Wait and Bleed, they came to me and they were like, we want you to just write the chorus. Right.

So I wrote the chorus and they constructed the guitar riff over that, which was really cool. So it was the first taste for me that there was no rules. It's exciting. Yeah. I mean, once you kind of throw off those constraints, the fucking world is your, it's your bitch basically, you know? So to answer your question,

And sometimes if you hear, at least for me, if you hear a really amazing chorus, the melody will just come to you. And you just hear it instinctively. And you just kind of start to fuck with it. You fine tune it and you perfect it.

Do you do a lot of chorus first? Like chorus and then write around it? Sometimes I do, especially if I'm writing by myself. I'll hear something and then I just kind of craft everything around that chorus and just kind of fill in the blanks. You hear the words? Well, sometimes. Sometimes I'll just hear the melody. If the words don't fit with the emotion that I'm finding, then I'll sit down and I'll start to kind of

chip away at everything um and once i do that then i've got it and then that kind of fills in the blanks of what the song is going to be about yeah how do you hear it because um when i'm obviously like i learned drumming and it's funny because the sound that you make in your head is a right yeah like so what do you hear in your head what's the sound

I almost always hear it in a higher register, to be honest, like a lot of the melodies that I hear. So then I have to kind of bring it down. So what does it sound like? Do you hear your own singing voice in your head? Yeah, sometimes. What sounds are you hearing? I will hear, like the music, I will hear almost with a lot of reverb. It sounds bigger. I hear the potential of what it could be.

So like even if I just hear a guitar, I can hear the drums. I can hear the guitars, the bass. I can hear if there's orchestration, I can hear that in it. I can hear the harmonies on the vocals that I hear. And then that kind of gives you the roadmap for when you demo it, you know? And then if it doesn't work in that shape, you just trim stuff away. And you're like, okay,

This seems a little too much. We're going to pull this back. This is too busy. Exactly. Yeah. And you just make it, you focus it. Do you ever have to tell somebody...

Like as you guys are working together, like, hey, we got to dial back what you're doing. We've had some times like that. Yeah. And nine times out of 10, the great thing about Slipknot is that we will listen with real ears and go, okay, well, what do you think? And I have had to learn over the years because I've, there've definitely been some times where I've been a little too. Direct? Well, no, just, just.

just clinging to an idea, too close to it. And so I'll be a little too contentious when it comes to like people coming in and giving criticism. And what I've had to learn is that if I expect people to listen to my voice, I have to listen to theirs, you know? So that's been...

a growing pain for me, you know, cause I am a massive ego and I've had to really dial that back and, and realize that I'm just a part of it, you know? So, and so as we've gone on, we've gotten better at listening and, and not taking shit personally, you know, the second agreement, not taking shit personally and realizing that we're all, we all want the same thing.

And it doesn't matter how we get there. Like nobody's going to fucking co-sign it because it's all of us. Yeah. You know, so let's just get there. And if you've got the better idea, fucking A, you know, and I, I've gotten to the point where I love giving credit to other people now because they came up with the idea, you know, and it's, it just feels better. That's awesome. Yeah. That's a nice, you know, who else has no fucking boundaries or rules? I want you to watch this. Oh Christ. Hey,

collective soul right got this corvette puts it in the light he's got good front man energy he's not dying he's not done

Okay, yeah. All right, will you go out on a limb and get him signed? All right!

Also, I think, is that a business card that is blown up? Yeah, what the, what is that? Right? Because I see phone numbers, I think, and an address. He's definitely a notary public. Yeah. I mean, that's, yeah, I mean, he has to be, right? He shows up and you're like, I'm here to coach hire, or you roll your thumb.

I mean, his voice, you know, he can sing. He's got a good timbre there. Yeah, that's definitely. I want to say, what do you think the over-under is of how many Corvettes came together to make that car? I mean, I'm seeing at least 11. There's a fucking, there's an appliance in there. There's also just some stuff that was a Chevy. And he's like, it'll work. It'll definitely work. It was pounded into shape. There is a fuck. His name is Keith. He is known locally as Leopard Man and Cow Fucker.

in this town in Connecticut. Those are two very distinct tastes. Yes. All right. Shit. Yeah, he's a pretty cool guy. I like his car. I hope he made it because I'd like to order one too. I mean, that's a sweet car. I definitely had worse cars when I was younger. Oh, hell yeah, dude. Okay, what was your worst fucking car that you were at when you were younger? 87 Chevy Nova, gray exterior, gray interior, cloth. Love it. Love it. Sucks so fucking bad.

It would shake if it got to 67. Oh, shit. It was one of those. Right, right. They're like, no. The old school governor, just, this car sucks. It sucks so bad. I had old reliable first, which was a 95 Accord. Okay. But I fishtailed showing off and ended up in a ditch. And I had to like, use tape underneath to make the front bumper hang on because it had, I drug it off. That was pretty cool. And,

And then I had a Malibu after that. Okay. I flex on people in my Chevy Malibu. So those are my two beaters, if you will. Nice. I had an 82 Mazda. Why are you flexing on us? Oh, no. No, no, no.

You need to understand something. The original car was yellow. It had been painted with house paint. Oh, blue. It was a four speed. The gear shift barely worked. We called it fat ed. And I would. Yeah. Oh, no, it's nothing. It's I think it's this is way too well maintained. Yeah.

It's closer to that. Nowhere near as cool as anything really on that fucking thing. I want to see what the paint job would look like. Because what does that look like? So it looks like... No, it looks like...

the blue shit was peeling. So there's a lot of yellow showing. So it looked like somebody had outlined it in yellow, but that was the original color. I also love, by the way, people who think you can paint a car just with your house paint. Oh, yeah. I would. I bought it for $500 and...

It was so rad because if you put it in neutral, it would hop backwards. So, and I'm going to be very irresponsible right now. We would get wasted. And after the bars closed, we would take it out to like the big parking lots at the malls and shit. And we would have rodeos.

So we would let it off. We would crawl out the window. It's still running and shit. And we would just hold on for fucking deal life. And this, you guys, is how a band is formed. Exactly. You ever want to know why Slipknot was formed in Iowa? Because we had Mazda rodeos. Fuck yes. That's awesome. Thankfully, no idiots were harmed in the making of that show. That's incredible. So how many people like...

meet you and assume you're a terrifying person? Oh, almost everybody. Yeah. Unless they've seen clips of me online. That's, I've been able to kind of temper that. Yeah. Because usually when people meet me, they're like, we thought, they first, first of all, they thought I'd be taller. Yeah.

They thought I'd be crazy, you know? And then I'm like, I have kids. What are you talking about? Like, fucking let it go. It's fine. And you have to be pretty intelligent and whatever. Yeah, I mean. Driven to pull it together the way you always have. Yeah. I mean, even considering just a lot of our, like, the behavioral issues that we've had over the years, we were able to kind of.

Keep it together. What are your behavioral issues? Well, I mean, as a band, we've had our fucking share of weirdness, you know? I mean, we were...

We set fire to a table at the Kerrang! Awards and we were responsible for Britt Eklund breaking her ankle. Wow. Yeah, she was a Bond girl. She hated us for a very long time. Very long time. Yeah, because we won... We were the first band in Kerrang! history to win three awards. And we won Best Single, Best...

live band and then we won best band in the world which they created just for the fans to vote on Jesus and we won and we threw the table had all of our beers and shit on it and made quite a mess Britt Eklund was supposed to walk up and present the next award she slipped in our fucking beer and so they carried her up yes James

There she is. She looked a lot like she did on the top right. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Well, I feel like she would have fallen anyways. We felt bad. You know, like we did feel bad. She's at the age where we're supposed to be. We tried to send her something. It was rejected. It was rejected? It was rejected. Yeah, it's fine. Oh, that's silly.

Mistakes were made. Okay, that's all I'm going to say. See, this is what I miss, though. I miss the rock stars. I miss this stuff. I think that's why I'm so pumped that Oasis is back together. Do you know that she played a role in this? So about a month ago, maybe it was six weeks ago, there's no talk of Oasis, nothing. Nothing in the ethos, mind you. She puts it out there that

she's willing to go airtight with the Gallagher brothers that everybody knows and the other one who not everybody knows. Right. So she's willing to give herself all three inputs and, and she's like, I'll do that. And then,

All of a sudden, I don't see her for a few weeks. And then during that period, they're like, guess what? There's new Oasis shows. And I was like, hey, where have you been? We just kind of came together. Mate, that's what happens when you go to Manchester. I may have dipped out a bit, love.

But now I'm waiting for them to come to America. That's the next. I don't know how I'm going to top the airtight. I don't know how you're going to top the threesome. Yeah. Let's just say you're welcome. I mean, the sealant, that was a bold choice, by the way. You guys have been in a band for a long time. Have you ever gone nine deep in someone's? Hell yes, you have. In some maggots. Well, hold on. Let me do the math. Oh, my God. Yeah, I can't talk about it. Yeah!

All I can say, this was before the interwebs. Yeah, of course. It can't ruin my life. It's a different time. Yes, exactly. It's a different era. Not everybody had their fucking phone out. Dude, like, let's just say, like, there's some crazy shit. Yeah, of course. Of course, that's why you become a rock star. That's why you become a fucking... Exactly, you know? I have very strong opinions about a lot of that shit. It's like, what's your name? Oh, thank you. I don't want to hear your name. It's like...

It was just a different scene, man. Yeah. And people don't realize that. It's like watching a movie from the 60s. It's like watching a Bond film and then judging it based on modern principles. Yes. It doesn't fucking work that way, man. No, it's true. You cannot do that with someone in that age. It is an absolutely different fucking ballgame. It's different. It's true. Now, what's going on with Perry Farrell and Dave Navarro?

That was my wife waking me up and going, have you seen this shit? And I was like, no. It's sad, man, because I know both of them. And Dave Navarro is one of the sweetest souls on the planet. Perry also is very sweet, man. He's never been anything but fucking kind to me. And seeing that,

I don't know what's happening there. And obviously, I don't want to make assumptions because I don't want to get fucking blown out. It looks... It could be chemical. It could be behavioral. It could be because they've known each other for fucking 40 years, man. There's so many myths about their relationship. Who fucking knows what that would be at this point? Right. So...

I just hope he's okay. I hope Dave's okay. I mean, I reached out to him to see if he was... It's my phone. Oh, it's yours? Okay. Yeah, it was vibrating. Okay. Stop. There, okay. You texted Dave. Yeah, I texted Dave to see how he was doing. He hit me back. He was like, he's cool, you know, but...

buddy but obviously he doesn't want to say anything because right now they're just trying to figure out what the fuck they're gonna do they canceled yeah yeah that's such a bummer I wanted to see that tour so bad I've been waiting to see the original for for me and clown actually clowns a massive Jane's addiction fan like he's like he studied that shit like this a pruder film and

And it came to me just like, dude, Taylor, you don't even fucking know. It's crazy. But don't you feel like they're so underrated? 100%. Why the fuck weren't... I think they're considered one of the greatest, especially coming from Los Angeles. They were like an LA band and I got to fucking watch that growing up. And I got to see them at the first Lollapalooza when I was high on acid. Yeah, I was there. You were! Irvine Meadows, bro. And I was like, why? His voice is like from another realm and they're so talented. He's one of the most...

There's no way to recreate his voice. No. And the people who try, it sounds like they're going to kill themselves. Yeah. It gets so high up there. But it was so perfect. I compared Nothing Shocking with Appetite for Destruction. To me, it is one of the – Well, it's just one of those examples of a perfect album. Because you can put that album on and just start it

and never skip anything. Just play. Even Thank You Boys is fucking wonderful to listen to. It's just a great, great album. Damn. Yeah. I hope they're okay. And knowing how inter-band relationships can be, that's fucking tough, dude, especially for a band that's been around that long, dude. Yeah, because you know, end of the day, there's no telling what it is. Right. But you understand that

Those dynamics can shift and change and be challenging. And who knows what the story is. I mean, I know bands have been around for five years that have that shit happen. You just never know. When you spend that much time on the road with people,

and you go from the highest of highs to the lowest of lows and everything in between, shit's gonna get personal and you just never know what's gonna happen on any given day. Sid and I, who was one of my best friends, he's my brother, I almost killed him one night when we were doing, we were recording disaster pieces at Love's, I want to say it was London Arena but I might be wrong.

And he did exactly what we told him not to do. And I was so fucking pissed. I was also hammered. So that didn't fucking help anything. He came back and there's a clip online and it's so taken out of context. We all had, most of us had body cameras. So what he would do is he would go out into the middle of the audience when we would do the sit down part during Spit It Out. And we told him not to do it this time.

Because we didn't want people to steal those cameras. And he did. And they did.

and he didn't understand why we were mad. And he comes back and he goes, I'm fucking livid, I'm just like, and he goes, dude, you gotta tell them to give the fucking camera back. And I just whipped around on him. I was like, shut your fucking, it's one of the most evil moments of my life. And I just didn't give a shit. And to this day, I feel bad about it. And it's a very real moment that's out there for everybody to see and taken out of context.

it's so fucking horrible. Right. But also, don't forget that all of us have those moments. Exactly. They're just not always captured. Right. Yeah. And some people don't admit that they have those moments. Yeah. I mean, when he blew himself up recently, because he's Sid, I was like, I FaceTimed him and he was in the ER. Oh no. And I was just like,

But he was also one of the first people to call me after my spinal surgery. So like, that's how close we are. Like we go from. Yeah. So it's your real brother. Exactly, dude. Yeah. And anybody who's been in a fucking family knows how that is. Now, what about Dave Grohl? What's up with his baby mama shit?

Dude, I'm so, let me tell you something, bro. Sorry. Here's my take. No, it's. No, let me just say that. I will say this. Okay. Like I, apropos of this earlier discussion of like, you guys are fucking rock stars. You're knocking shit over. Right. We'll bitches be falling and spraining their ankles. But, but she knows, Hey, that's fucking slipknot over there, honey. You better be careful. Yeah.

So I feel like this whole, I'm just a nice guy. I'm a nice guy. Like, bitch, no, you're not. You're a rock star. Right. And you fucking impregnate bitches. Fine. Cause that's what they do. That's what they've been doing for the seventies to eighties. Like why come out with a statement announcing it to everybody? And secondly, why are you busting nuts in your side piece, bro? All valid questions, Christina. I'm glad you brought that up. Yeah. I was hoping it would come up. Yeah.

It's, fuck, dude. It's so messy. Like, just 100% messy. You do know Dave Grohl. I do know Dave Grohl. So? He is one of the nicest people on the planet. Heard it many times. Yeah. What's that? Mistakes were made, Christina. I mean, and I don't, listen, I'll tell you exactly why they put out a press release. Yeah, well, I'm so confused. Because he wanted to get ahead of it.

He wanted to get ahead of it because he knew that if he didn't say something, somebody else was going to say something. Because, I mean, I don't think we even know who the baby mama is, right? Not yet, by the time this comes out. But I can guarantee you, as soon as she finds out that he may or may not be a part of everything, she was going to say something. And it's called controlling the narrative. So he got ahead of it. And, you know, I will say this. Obviously,

He's very irresponsible. And I know there are a lot of disappointed fans out there because of the image that he's developed. But I have to remind people that we're not perfect. He was one of the last people to really have that image.

Because you can't really think of anyone else. I mean, well, Bill Cosby was the last guy. What the fuck happened there? I'm talking about... Pudding pops a bottle. Drink this. Take a little nap real quick. Fucking holy shit. But that's what I'm saying. I think I... Look, I'll be... Yeah, I just resent the like, I'm a good guy, but then you're not. It just... Well, here's the thing. Hold on, everybody. Here's the thing. Press pause. Tom's putting on chapstick. Everybody stop. Here we go.

This is, that's elaborate right there. That took a long time. He has to open his mouth. I appreciate that I was here. He can't do his mouth shut. I was trying to break up the seriousness of the dialogue. Listen. Okay, go ahead. This happening, and I'm going to say something very controversial. I love it. This happening does not mean he's not a nice person because I happen to know him as a person. It means he's got fucking issues and he fucked up. Yes, yes.

he's not perfect it is going to be very difficult for his family oh that's the part that kills me kids yeah girls it's and I'm not going to make any assumptions about why or how it happened you know because obviously I mean I'm sober

But at the same time, you know, I've gone through my own shit. And I also think the, I mean, everyone has valid points, but the good person, bad person thing is not just black and white. Right. That's exactly it. People are generally, it exists in the gray area. Did he do something horrible? Yeah. Yes. But it shouldn't, the only thing that defines him. Exactly. If that's the one thing that defines him,

then what the fuck are we doing here? I know, but only if you present yourself as a certain thing. And it's like, dude, don't then, that's what I'm saying. You and I never pretend to be normal people. Here's the thing. It's disappointing. It's disappointing. I think I'm just mad at my dad.

It's fair, Corey. She's mad. I mean, yeah. I mean, let's go there. Let's go there. I mean, so what does this bring up for you? I think it did. I think it brought up my dad, like my hatred for my dad being a piece of shit. And like some, those guys are just a type. And I really wish society would just be accepting of the piece of shit type instead of being like, you should get married and have kids. Like, no, no, no, no, no. This guy, this guy does his thing. You are mad at your dad though. Of course I am.

Of course I am. No, I'm saying, I think all this is channeling. Of course it is, Tom. You're really not mad at Dave at all. No, I don't care about Dave at all. You're just, you know. But it's like the gays. It's just like the gays. It's just like the gays. Let the gays be the gays and then they don't marry women. Release the gays. Right, yeah. Release the gays. Just be gay. And if you want to dump clips and have other kids, then just do it with, you know, don't tie a knot first. Don't tie a knot. Don't ruin people's lives. Okay, switch this up real quick. Sure, go ahead. Something a little more fun. All right.

Corey, I'll show you a clip, and you just tell me whether you think it's horrible. We're here now. We're here now. Or hilarious. Are you ready? I did push-ups. My gag reflex is ready. Says the Slipknot singer of all people. Listen, I'm more refined in my old age, okay? I'm ready. I don't think I have anything too gross. It's really just whether this makes you laugh or not. Okay. Go ahead. I'm already in. Yes, brother. Yes, brother.

Do it brother. Oh fuck. I'm sweating. Holy shit. That was horrible. I was so ready for a broken leg and I was, oh that made everything so much better. I'm so happy right now. Yes!

Look at this psycho. He's the biggest psycho. Makes sense. It's confirmed. Slipknot is satanic. You're a fucking idiot doing skateboard tricks off a roof. What did you think would happen? Thank you. Thank you. This is what you got, what you asked for. I did this shit. I fucked both my knees up. Bring it on. What else do you got? Here we go. Oh, shit. That's a real speed, bro. Oh! Oh!

The fact that this ends here is horrible. I wanted to see her mouth with no teeth in it. There's not a tooth left in that mouth. I wanted to see her with both legs just sticking straight up. Bro, she's going like 65. Dude. That's so fast, man. What's the dog? Oh! Why is there a dog behind them? Did you see? There's a dog. It comes out of nowhere. Let me see. It's hauling ass. Watch.

Dog. What the hell? Because it's Mexico, dude. Even he's going, you're going way too fast. I'm going to try and grab you with my mouth. Wait a minute. How did they, that's how people land from that slide? I mean, what the hell? You know what this is? It's a water park that's empty, that's closed down. And they're like, yeah, it'll be a fun slide. There's usually a pool at the end of that. Oof.

Just not a pile of dirt. And a skinny Mexican dog with tits. Santa Di Martito. It'll be fun. It's not fun. Not so fun. Oh, shit. Wait, one more time, please. Yeah, why not? It's good, it's good. It's like watching pumpkin bowling at this point. It's just a dog. Okay, I'm going to say both knees, hips, tailbone. There's at least one vertebrae that's fucked up there.

Holy shit. And also... By the way, it says this is a very popular thing to go down the side when it rains. Yeah, don't do the shoot without lube, kids. Only in Mexico. Hold on. And also, I feel like you should do this one alone, bro. Like, don't have your friend behind you. She is fucked up, man. I mean, seriously, the way that she hit that...

I would go it alone. Yeah. Like even that made me go, hmm. I don't know if I should be laughing, but it's still funny. It's still funny. Two for two. Here we go. Don't trip on the kayak. Oh, no. Don't trip on that. It's his.

His demeanor. I told you, bitch. I'm taking a picture of you. Not one fuck given. He's got his phone out. He does not love her at all. What a fucking dick. At all. I told you, don't trip on that. That's his sister. It's got to be his sister. 100%. Yeah. He doesn't give a fuck. There's not a boyfriend on earth that would pull their phone out.

I mean, oh, dude. That's sibling hatred right there. Did she exit with a head of steam? Why is she coming out so fast? I feel like she had way too many daiquiris. She's drunk. Yeah. I forgot.

Let's talk about the fact that she just banged her head, not on the ground, off the bumper of that van. Yeah. Wait, my favorite's the sound she makes. Me and my friends, we used to do this impression of somebody getting kissed in the back of the head with an aluminum bat without knowing. So it'd be... I just think that's funny. Yeah, of course. Yeah.

This, uh, we're three for three. Oh my god, that's really... Don't trip on the kayak. I don't have snot, do I? Oh man. Okay, we're good. Don't trip on the kayak. I told you not to trip on the kayak. Told you not to, dipshit. That's what you get for fucking with me. Oh god. Oh, I hate these. Oh fuck. I can tell already. He's not, he's not taking off. Uh oh. Oh, oh. There's Ram Dass in the... Oh! Yeah.

He's too old to be dying. Yeah, of course. He broke his back! I was so not ready for the branches. Oh, fucking shit! Play it again. Look at him. He's so confident. He's got a logo on his video. Smell that wind. That's the smell of freedom. Oh, shit!

Wait, what machine is this? Is this something you make in your house? It's called a paramotor. And you sit on it. Yeah. Because that's safe. By the way. How long do you think he sat there before he actually... Who put this description in?

Is that you? What's the description? Old white guy tries to fly, doesn't clear the tree line. Like, yeah, we got that. Thanks, man. Oh, my stomach hurts. Oh, my God. I'm sweating. Yeah, I'm officially sweating. How long was he laying there with the wind knocked out of him? Yeah, he sat there. There are a lot of thoughts.

Going through his head, he's just like, man, I spent all weekend putting this shit together. Unwinding this thing. And also, you know this guy's like, oh yeah, I fucking fly this thing all the time. You guys don't need to come out. Listen, I'm going to film it for you so you can see it. He's like, where's my phone? Now he's got to find his phone to call 911. He's like, ha, ha.

Oh, fuck, that's broke. Oh, everything's broke. And you know he has a story of like, you know, the Air Force turned me down. Ever since then, I fucking, I decided I'll fly my own motherfucker. I don't need no fucking... I could be on pension right now. I don't need... I turned our backs on the wrong motherfucker. F-35, I got my own motherfucker.

This is the audacity. You want to? Hell yeah. The audacity. Hold on. Just to create your own flying machine. Shit that flies on your own. You should not be building it yourself. I agree. Absolutely not. I 100%. Learn to fly. Yeah. I'm not even allowed to cook by myself. Okay. You think I'm going to fucking spend time.

on something that could quite literally blow up on me. Fuck that. Or just you're in the sky and then you fall down and you die from being in the sky. And he's got like a parasail hooked up to a lawnmower. And that's the genius. There's some fucking duct tape and some fucking, there's some floss. I saw dental floss in there. The nice thing is that he can use that again since he'll never walk again. And he can just sit and use that. He can just be like, okay, just put the electric shit on here now.

Yeah, just put some handles on it just in case the battery runs out. And you can push me over there. Would you like to tell Corey what we're going to show? Yes, TikToks. I'm serving the marginalized communities on TikTok. Oh, Jesus. The underrepresented. Do you know what she does? Oh, I've seen it. Okay. Oh, I've seen it. So you know that it can be a roller coaster of emotions. I'm prepared. I'm ready. You don't know whether you're going to laugh, feel very, very sad. No.

I think we've established I'm going to laugh. Okay. It's fine. Here we go. Up first in Christina's talks. I had a good life. Oh, fuck. So this is clearly a foot fetish page, but the toenails are extra long. Oh, my God. You know how fucking dehydrated you have to be for that shit to curl like that? I just got the chills. God, why is she doing that? That is a scene from Lost Boys, kids. That is some serious shit.

But however, I bet you... My penis is up inside of my own body right now. You know that? It's inverted. Mine's in the waiting room. It's gone. It's like, what in the fuck is that? But this OnlyFans page probably sucks. This is an OnlyFans page? No, dude, I'm sure it is. Let's move on. This is TikTok so that it's linked up, right, Zola? This is one of the worst things. Some lady makes her living. This is cosplay for people who are dogs that don't get their nails clipped.

She could literally grab a mouse and just fucking pull it right up to her mouth. It's making somebody hard right now. You're right. I bet there's a fetish. Of course. The fact that they're like, you know what I like is when they're super long and they kind of bend. But don't paint them because then I can't tell that it's a nail. It just looks like something that's enamel.

Make sure it looks real. Look at the shit. This is gnarly, dude. How do you wear shoes? You can't wear sandals. You don't wear shoes. She never wears shoes. That 100% is a sandal wearing person. Yes. And you can tell from the sunspots glistening on her ankles. Yes. I'm assuming it. Listen, I apologize for gendering you. I'm assuming that you are a woman. How dare you.

wild assumption that you've made. Wild. But let's... They them? They them, right? I am on the verge of vomiting, so let's go to the next one. Coffee time. Strong black coffee. Best drink of the day. All right, so this one, she's on... Okay, that's it? Yeah, she sends me this every morning.

This is how I wake my husband up every morning. Love it. Okay, so it's the same thing. She wears different revealing attire and then says, strong coffee. Best drink of the day. That's not off-putting. And I go, I roll it right back, please stop sending me this.

Well, she clearly showcases her ample bosom. It's a thinly veiled bosom Instagram. I mean, that's a pregnant bike rack right there. Usually, sometimes she's in bikini tops and you're like, Jesus Christ. Yeah, they're really out there. She really needs to get her breast MRI. There's probably 10 dicks. Oh, yeah, yeah. I'm sorry. She's got 10 cancer dicks in her tits. Okay, let's move on to the fucking...

I only had one. Cancer dicks. Oh, I'm into it. My tumor was six inches. We are proud of it. And I don't really want any immigrants in my country, you know? Some people say there is...

demographic problem in Poland. We need more young kids, you know? And what I'm about to say is not good, but yeah, of course, let the immigrants in, let them race our women, and let's have more kids, man. If you want that, let's do it, but I'm against that. I'm against all the immigration. I don't really like that. I'm not trying to take a risk.

for immigrant people to rape our women, kill our kids and that would be just dangerous. I don't approve that. Thank you, man.

I mean, say what you want. He's very polite. That's disappointing. You thanked him at the end, you know? What in the shit? Well, I'll tell you. Young guy, he's had a couple drinks, a couple pops. He's like, oh, you want to talk to me? He's had a couple of bottles, dude. That kid, his eyes are swimming. Oh, yeah, he's fucking wrecked. Yes, you're right. But I will say I may have...

Family members, people I know that would say this stuff perfectly sober. This is not an unpopular Slavic, Eastern Bloc. You're not wrong. Having played a lot of those places, I've been exposed to a lot of that shit. Do you know what's nice, Corey, about our country? It's just us. When no one is here, it is much better. Back in New York country, so many dark people. Good not agree more. It's nice.

- Yeah. - On aliving our children. How dare you?

This kid's a kid, too. He's a fucking guy. He's like 16. But that's what I'm saying. He's heard this at home. Oh, yeah. 100%. This is not his speed. And let's say, can we assume that English is not his first language? Of course. So maybe it's just lost in the translation. Maybe it's better in the Polish. In Polish, it'd be like, oh, yeah, he's just a nationalist. Oh, OK. So pride. There we go. I just think that if you met this, if you showed me this kid, no mic, nothing, you're like, what do you think this guy would be like? He seems like a nice guy.

guy. You just saw a still? Oh, yeah. Oh, this is going to be wholesome. He's probably going to talk about skateboarding, you know, fruit roll-ups, you know, because that's what kids do. For sure. Shit. Yep. Oh, this guy. Oh, fuck. Okay. He's showing you the flower. There's a guy. He's very fit.

The music is incredible. He's got hearty nips, too. Oh, yeah. Beefy nips. Bike shorts. He's just letting you know what he's got to offer. I don't know why I need to keep seeing his crotch. I don't know why that keeps happening. He's telling you. Oh, he kissed you. He just gave you a kiss. Dude, he is smuggling plums down Judas Priest. So this is also a lane of TikTok where it's the shirtless fit guy, and then he glances. You can glance his junk. It's accidental. Oh.

Yeah, whoopsie. Did I just reveal my crotch? Uh-oh, coffee time. It's the equivalent of strong black coffee. My wife has some shit like that where it's like the vampires and the werewolves. Yeah. They're, oh, dude. They have their own lane? They've got a whole lane where it's like, I think one's like a, there's a troll lane.

There's, yeah. What are you talking about? Oh, there's some. Oh, yeah. Are you guys going to trade it? Are you going to? Hold on. Time out. I haven't been on social media since 2018. Smart guy. I see this shit over her shoulder. Okay. So I'm just. Well, tell your lady to hook me up. But she, oh, yeah, you guys need to talk. Algorithms.

Hers are fucking incredible. Like really, really good. Vampires, werewolves. Yeah. And it's this one dude. I mean, and he's got a lot of followers and he's got long black hair and he is like, when I'm out. I mean, he is dark. Wait a minute. Is he a light skinned black guy? No. With really pretty eyes? No, but I'm sure she follows him too. So, and it's like, gorgeous men. And I'm just sitting there going. Those are the guys.

Those are some warlocks. I've seen the warlock talks. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, there's some serious shit. Pretty cool. Yeah, her for you page is pretty fucking amazing. That's awesome. I got to exchange that. Yeah, you guys got to talk. It's going to be great.

All right. Okay, what do we got here? A guy man could spell his name with his load. I would wear that necklace forever. And although we did have enough powder where spelling a whole name would be possible, my client ordered a simple letter necklace with his semen sample incorporated. That's me. Of course, I had to do a gummy bear too much. Thank you. That's a lot of jizz. No, I'm wearing it. Oh, but you ordered it? Yeah, the gummy bear and T for Tom. Wow, that's really cool. Are we just going to skip the part where it was...

Load? So you just, you mail in your jizz and then they dehydrate it and they make these. Load jewels. Well, you don't want to express that you love somebody? I mean, listen. I mean, I love crafting as much as the next guy. Okay, just mail your jizz into this lady. Yeah. I mean...

Fucking what? Christmas is around the corner. Get your lady something nice. I don't need more gift ideas. What are you going to get her? Another fucking bracelet? It's from Tiffany's. Yawn. Yawn. Yeah. When are you going to fucking, you know, when are you going to fill this? Yeah, with jizz. Well, actually, it would be quite a conundrum, Tom, if you gave me jizz jewelry, but then it was diamond encrusted. So you're like, wow.

Do you wear it or you know what I mean? Do you eat it? I got it. Yeah. Yeah. I sprinkle diamonds in my food. Oh, shit. Oh, here it is. Best drink of the day. It could be me. I mean, that could have been me if I had my tits. Ten more years. I bet you she crushes OnlyFans. That's got to be what this is. You think she's a fan of immigrants coming into our country?

Brexit. Brexit or Nexit? Black coffee. Black coffee. Wow. I'm surprised she's drinking coffee. They're a tea drinking folk. Oh, you're right.

Yeah, you're right. Or maybe it's geographically specific. Like she does these for America. Right. And then she keeps the cup of tea, cup of tea, cup of hot tea, strong black tea. Tea all the time. Strong English breakfast tea. I'm a coffee guy, dude. Yeah, same. Yeah, I don't like it either. It makes my tummy hurt, the tea. Oh, gee, this is Stephen Baldwin. I love you. He's been doing this a lot. It's fucking so weird.

It is so weird. What? What? What the fuck? What? That is a... This is a...

A version of thirst trapping. It really is. Is it really? It is. But instead of being like sexually trapping people, it's doing this emotional hijacking. So what you're trying to do is elicit people to be like, either I love you too or what's going on with you. I'm deeply disturbed. Interesting. It's all attention getting. This is not fucking. This is so true, Tom. This is the equivalent of the 2008 Facebook post of like,

Mom's healing well. The wounds are pussing, but I'm cleaning them every day. Thanks for checking on me. Oh, my God. Are you okay? It's just to elicit a reaction. Did we all need to know that Stephen Baldwin loved us? It's just strange. I mean, I didn't know until today. Right now. I think I'm a little worse for wear for it. The funny thing is he's doing that. Oh, shit. No, we have this clip of Alec when he was in court. I really appreciate it.

the acting that he did on Saturday Night Live, and I really appreciate his politics. You told one of the witnesses who disagreed with you during an interview that you thought Mr. Baldwin was a cocksucker. I do not recall saying that. That's a rip. That was a snap. That's very good. Huh? That's very good. Court. You can say that in court? If it's your transcript, yeah. That's amazing. Yeah.

Alright, we're almost done. He's like, wait a minute. I didn't fucking shit on myself. Oh my God. Had to get right back in the shower. Y'all, I thought it was going to be a fart, like a regular fart. Oh yeah. But that shit spit it out. Nope, that shit spit it out. That's what happens when you're in the process of losing weight. You basically shit out a lot of toxins and shit. Is that it? Is that how you do it? Is that it? Yeah, that just happened to my old white sheets.

I don't know that you needed to actually post. That's what I'm wondering. This is 100% OnlyFans. This has to be. Oh, yeah. Come on. You could have just talked to the camera. Am I one of the only ones who remembers cake farts? Of course. Or the off-brand meatloaf farts. Do you remember that one? I've seen that too. Oh. Yeah.

I don't know which one I prefer worse. Yeah. However, I will say after a certain age, this is a 100% problem to worry about. It's relatable. You have to give it the one cheek sneak that Carlin used to say. He's like, oh Christ, please just be gas. Well, what's interesting about this one is that it's a woman choosing to post a shart

Sheet. And she stayed on that. Like, here it is. Here's the massive shit. Short sheet. Yeah, lead with it. Didn't start with her. Lead with it. Could have just told you the story. You're never going to believe what happened. That's a strong game. I'm so confident that people are going to want to see this. Leading with this. And you know, when you lose weight, a lot of times what happens is you shit out your weight. You do. You shit that weight out.

Yeah, what are you waiting for? It's time for you to shit that weight out. Yeah. Yeah, it just happens. Oh, fuck. All right, last one. Here we go. Best drink of the day. What is the charge? Eating a meal? A succulent Chinese meal? Gentlemen...

is Democracy Manifest. So this is one of our original favorite clips on the show. I was going to say, I've seen that one. And he, like, I mean, we're talking like more than 10 years.

years ago. Easily, yeah. And he was, I mean, the clip is older, but like we like really were, and then this man just passed away. Jack Carlson was arrested in 1991. Police believed he was one of Queensland's most wanted. A serial credit card fraudster, one Chinese meal at a time. See that chap over there? He's got jaw hair and all

Mr Carlson met his arresting officer in June at the legendary restaurant. When it comes to the allegations of credit card fraud, Mr Carlson maintained his innocence. If they can put something on you, they'll do it. From the age of seven, Mr Carlson had spent time in institutions, homes and had escaped from jail three times. He was also a passionate actor. Did you get a point?

I think he should have got an Academy Award. I think he would have made a great actor. Mr Carlson was recently diagnosed with prostate cancer and has died aged 82. Oh!

We salute you. Rest in peace. Yeah, man. I hope he had his final succulent Chinese meal. No shit. Before he died. That was quite a news piece on him. I didn't realize he's such a... Yeah, totally. From jail three times. Yeah. And he clearly was an actor because that voice they put on was a thing. Oh, yeah. Let your hands off my penis! Yeah.

That's brilliant. That was really good. Holy shit. Matt, if I get arrested, I'm going to go out like that. Right. Don't touch my penis. Mama, I love you.

All right. Corey, thank you for coming. No, thank you for having me, man. I really appreciate it. We really enjoyed it. Alicia and I have been massive fans for a very long time. Awesome. So we were really stoked when this came out. It was a real treat to have you. Come back again. And we'll do my best. Congrats. Next time, can we bring Alicia? Yeah. Because she's way funnier than I am. Of course. And way better to look at. Trust me. Yeah, for sure. Yeah, 100%. Let's have her replace you. Exactly.

But congrats on 25 years. Thank you. And on the tour. The tour continues. If you want to see Slipknot on tour, they're going to be in South America and then Europe. And you can get tickets at Slipknot1. Again, thank you so much for coming. Thanks for having me, man. Thank you. We'll see you guys. Bye. Bye, Mommy. This is my struggle. I'm so sad. I'm so sad. I'm so sad. I've got my jeans on. I've got my jeans on. I've got my jeans on.

I can't roll through the fence, can't just reattach. Good morning, queen, have a good day. Oh, son, oh, son.