Christina Has Tit Cancer | Your Mom's House Ep. 770
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Welcome. Welcome to your mom's house.

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payment required equivalent to $15 a month new customers on first three month plan only speeds slower above 40 gigabytes on unlimited plan additional taxes fees and restrictions apply cement mobile for details all right jeans ready in Chumash Arba Shalosh Stein we are back very excited I haven't heard Hebrew in so long I know it's so disappointing I need more Israeli friends um

We have not done this show in a minute. It's so exciting to be back. It's so good to be back in studio, Gene. I think this is going to be one of the all-time great episodes today. There's so many great things to talk about. I do. Real quick, you come see the God. I'll be in Asheville August 7th as part of the Asheville Comedy Festival in Asheville, North Carolina at the ExploreAsheville.com arena.

The next day I'll be in Roanoke, Virginia, August 8th at the Berglund Center. You can get tickets for both at tomsegret.com slash tour. There's also a bunch of other cities listed there. Look forward to seeing you. It's been a lot of fun. I've been having so much fun on this tour. It really is the best one that I've done. And like the most fun. I have a great time on the tour. What's so fun about this one? I

I think that I have a lot of fun with the material I'm doing. I like the fact that it's spaced out so you don't get beat down and burnt out by it. I've been having, you know, just bringing great people. Those shows are the ones right before some of the Canadian dates. So Bobby Lee is going to be in Canada with me. He's going to be doing dates like...

London, Winnipeg, Vancouver, Halifax, and Jessica Kirsten's on them too. Oh, she's just amazing. So she's doing all those Canadian shows with me. It's very, very fun. Lucky Canada. I know. And I've been bringing just like friends, Jeff Tate, Kirk Fox. I had Potter on a show not long ago.

It's just been a great time. Jordan Jensen has come out and done shows. It's just been, we've been having a really fun time. Just ball cupping and nipple sucking. Ball cupping rituals, anal stretching videos and rituals and yeah, piss on each other's drinks. It's just fun, you know. That's how it goes. That is the most fun. Yeah, yeah. So, yeah, we got a lot to talk about today. We were in Italy. I don't want to go to Italy.

We did that. That was the ongoing joke. That was the ongoing joke, yeah. I don't want to go. And it's like, Italy is so beautiful and magical. It's really crazy. And they know it. These Italians, they know that their lives are perfect. They know it's great. Because they're like, I drink espresso in the day. They're not upset by anything. No.

I mean, they are upset by nonsense, but not real upset. You know, like little discussion. Our pussy was not that tight. You know, that kind of stuff. This pizza is bullshit. Yeah, that stuff, but not real. Everything was amazing. I know I took a mild dose of Ozempes so that I could just maintain my weight. But the food was a killer. We ate like a couple of pigs. Unbelievable. Unbelievable.

Really beautiful. The kids had a blast. They actually enjoyed it. And if you're listening or watching right now and you don't know about Italy, it's really just that my father... I mean, I got to the point where it was... I guess I would say I was probably like 30... Let's say around 37 to 38, maybe like around there, where my career had changed to a point where I was making a good living. And I did the thing that...

I think everyone dreams of doing. If you love your parents, you're like, I want to do things for you. If you love them, yeah. Yeah, yeah. Only if you give a shit about them. For me, it's as far away as I can get. Can I move to Texas? You got it. One day I'm with them and I'm like, hey, I'm fortunate enough to have this going well right now. And I'd love to send you guys anywhere you want to go. All expenses paid trip for your parents. Yeah.

And he's like, anywhere you want. Like, he's like, okay. Like, well, where would you want to go? He's like, I don't know. I'm like, Italy. He's like, I don't want to go to Italy. I'm like, why? He's like, I don't like their food. You don't like their food? Italian! It's the best. Museums and shit. You know, you look up, you see the painting. You're like, yeah, I saw it. I'm like, that's your take on Italy? Yeah. I go, so where would you want to go?

Maybe England. They speak English. Okay. Australia? He's like, I was there once. I don't know if they want to go back. Okay. And that was that. That was the end of the fucking thing. He had no desire anymore to see stuff. His dream vacation... This is before he got sick, too. No, this is just since I knew him for 20 years. His dream was to get on a cruise ship. And go back to the room. Yeah. Yeah.

And lay in those paper thin boxers. With his nuts hanging out. Yep. And watch Turner classic movies. Isn't this great? And he would say that. If you spent time with him in his state of rest, he would go, isn't this great? And you're like, this is pretty great. Yeah. And he told me too, like whenever you'd go out to dinner, if you guys were traveling, ready to go back to the room, buddy? Ready to go back to the room? What?

Like, well, we're in a city that we're visiting. You don't want to see any of it? He's like, all right. And then he'd kind of be like, all right, you ready to go? You ready to go? You want to go to the movies? Movies? The movies. Wow. We're visiting a city that we've never been to together. We're in Vancouver. What do you want to do? Let's go to the movies. Okay. And now what? He's like, let's go back to the room.

Okay. So you go back to the room. Three days later, he's like, wasn't this a great trip? You're like, yeah, this was awesome. We saw the room. Which I wonder why the cruise was. But when you think about it, they're small rooms. Even if you get the deluxe cabin. Yeah, it's not huge. It sucks. It's not good. It's because it's all self-contained. And so the anxiety, like he really, you know, he also didn't sit still. I don't know if you remember. He would always like. Right. He was always fidgeting. Fidgeting. Yeah. And the cruise is really comforting. Yeah.

To that mentality. Okay. Because when the cruise ship, even like the party is moving, right? And the food, the entertainment, it all happens on this thing, but you don't have to leave the ship. It happens there. And I think he likes that, that it's all... Right. It's all contained. It's basically, the ship is almost like the room. Right, right, right. You don't have to, you know, like it's great. He would never get off. I mean, a couple of times. I remember that, yeah. Because he was just...

you know, pushed it. But you want to talk about being back on time. I mean, Oh boy. If they're like, this thing takes off at 5 PM, fucking two 30. He's like, you let's get back on. Like, well, I don't, I mean, I have such anxiety about that. The one time I went on a cruise with your family, I remember we docked in Turks and,

Kakos, Keikos. Yeah. Same thing. I was like, man, we got to get back. Yeah, of course. It's going to leave. I'm going to be stuck here in this island. It's scary. I don't like cruises at all. I don't want to be confined. I don't want to be told the whistle blows and you go and you do Bavaria. I would always tell them too. It's not good. Because they were like, let's go on this cruise. And I was like, I don't want to go on a cruise. I hate them.

And they were like, well, I'd rather just go to one of those places and spend time, let's say, in Turks and Caicos, in St. Martin. I'd rather sit on that beach and explore that area. I don't want to get off for two hours and come back. But he loved that. And I also don't want to be in the pool, the chlorine pool. Your mother's going to get off on the ship, right? Do some shopping or some shit. Yeah.

Yeah, we did his voice the entire time, but mostly my favorite top dog is when he was going to retire and he had the great plan. It's the best ever. Please do it. Please do the bit. I love this. I could hear this every day. You know, your mother and I are excited about this new chapter of retirement. And what we're going to do is see the country, you know, get in the car and drive across the country.

Your mother's never seen Vermont. She's never seen Maine. She's never seen the Grand Canyon. Okay. And I'm going to take, and we don't have anything to do. So we can just drive a few hours, bring the dogs, stay at like a red roof inn, and then drive the next day. And I was like, that's what you want to do. He's like, well, your mother's never seen any of this. I'm like, okay. And he would talk about this not once or twice.

For months, like I would say nine months leading up to, let's say six months before retirement. And then one day we were all together and we're like,

So are you excited to see the country? And she was like, what? And I'm like, you're going to get in a car and you're going to drive for months and you're going to see the country. And she was like, uh, no. And I laid out the plan. She goes, I don't want to do that. And then he was like, oh, you don't. I'm like, you've never pitched it to her.

And he's like, well, you've never seen Maine. And she was like, I don't want to get in a car and drive to Maine. A car, not even like a motor home. No, just a car. Sit in the car. With the dogs? How many dogs? Five dogs at the time? See, I also understand why he liked that. He liked that it was a mission.

It was mission oriented. It was like, well, I have nothing to do. So if you drive across the country, it gives you a task. Something to do. And then it would occupy his mind. Because then he was probably like back to square one. Like, well, I don't know what to do then. Yeah. That's true. That's a massive project. Yeah, it's a project. It would take years. We've been just driving. Just keep driving. Driving now for seven months across the country. The Red Roof Inn. Yes, I've stayed in a few of those. He said that specifically. The Red Roof Inn and they could take dogs. Yeah.

I did that as a feature act when I was super poor and starting out in comedy. They're not as glamorous as one might think. No, we like dogs. We have dogs. Yeah, it was all he gave the show. And then one day he was just like, there goes my dream. Because she did not agree at all. No, she was like, she goes, do I have a say in this? And he was like, well, of course. And she's like, I don't want to drive...

across the nation. That was terrible. Yeah. It's terrible. And by the way, he didn't have the, you know, he was late 60s or getting into his 70s. He didn't have the endurance for

10 hour drives. That means they were going to do like five hours a clip and be like, okay, let's spend the night after five hours. And then they would be three days in Florida before they got out of there. Right. Well, and also if you have driven this country, which I've driven a lot of for comedy is that you don't realize that this country is enormous and there are endless stretches of highway that just go for days, man. It is a long, it's a, it beats you down. I mean, I did it in my early twenties. That's terrible.

I did East Coast of Florida to L.A. a few times. And that shit, even at that age, it beats you down. Yeah, it's terrible. You're talking about driving until your eyes are bleeding and you pull over and you're like, oh, yeah, you're just, you're only, you left Florida, you're only in Mississippi or whatever. And then you just fucking next day you drive all fucking day and you're still in Texas. Yeah, and the food's terrible and the Red Roof Inns are not as glamorous as you would think. Brutal.

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One thing that did happen in Italy, so, you know, we flew a million hours. It's a 10-hour flight from Austin to Dallas to Rome, and then we're, you know...

Um, so you have, what is it? A seven hour time difference. So the first night we land in Italy, it's my birthday. Yeah. It was, yeah. Anyway, I go to sleep about eight o'clock at night and I sleep all night and I wake up the next morning at roughly eight, 8am. Right. Yeah. Now you and Ellis, well, you were up at two 30 and then what did you do?

I took Ellis outside. We looked at the lake. And then I went and I went on a run. At three in the morning, you were out in the dark running. Running. And then I did a kettlebell workout when I got back. Which is fine, like to each his own. But I noticed that when you came into the room and I was opening my beautiful baby bird eyes, just enjoying the Italian air and everything, you were resentful of me that I had been able to sleep through the night. It was annoying.

Everybody had jet lag. Everybody was up. No, Julian slept next to me. He and I slept together. Okay. Well, he's a child, a baby, basically. I know, but I feel like you, and I said it to you, you're resentful of my ability to sleep. Why are you resentful that I slept? Well, I'll get into that in one moment after I play this opening clip. All right, ladies. Guys, why don't you have a vacuum for our mouths so you can come out the damn dick very quick.

Looks like you. Don't bring anyone mother to this. Welcome. Welcome to your mom's house. With Tom Segura. Oh my God. Welcome to your mom's house. Oh. Wow. I don't know what that is. Wow.

That's terrible. That's not the song. That's just the kick drum. Ryan Match, the Match Man. He made that in 2010. What's your brother talking about? I know. Isn't that cool? He's fucking cool. I'm going to charge women $2,500 for my sperm, raw dogging it, giving my sperm to them if they want to do it, for wanting to do it, and a couple hundred dollars extra to be in my own house.

So if they want to do it, they want to be raw dog in it. Right. Raw dog in it. I got it. I'm going to charge them $2,700. Oh, $2,700. It was $2,500 for the raw dog and $200 for coming to his house. Oh, wow. Yeah. That's an expensive $2,900. And I do agree. We do look a lot alike. Yeah.

That's my cousin Todd. Yeah. Why is his sperm... We also think a lot alike. Yeah. What about his sperm? Does he go into it? Why he can commission... I mean, why do you just get it for nothing? Why do you just get it for nothing? Yeah. What a cool guy. But what, his mouth is a vacuum and sucks the dick juice out? No, his mouth is not. He said, we want your mouth to be vacuumed. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Cool. How come you never listen? I try to. I can't understand him. He was really clear. All right, ladies. Guys, why don't you have...

I vacuumed for a mouth so you can suck the damn cum out the damn thing. Oh, yeah. Very quick. Very quick. Cool. This is really nice. You're welcome. What a cool guy. Didn't see a lot of that in Italy. No. Nobody spoke like that there. No. Those guys are a little more low key. It's good to be home. It is good to be home.

So you're back to your resentment. Why did you hate me for sleeping? Okay, so first of all, I was like, this is a weird anomaly. The next day, your jet lag adjusts slightly more. Everybody knows this who travels internationally, right? Your body clock takes a few days to get adjusted. So the next day I slept till, let's say, 4.45. Got up, of course you're asleep. Got up.

Did another run. Got back. House is alive. Kids are up. We have breakfast on the table. The kids are up at what time now? They probably got up around 5. Now it's like 7, 7.30. Everyone's like, where's mom? I don't know if she's on drugs, but she's not up.

So then I went upstairs and you're still, and then, you know, another hour goes by. I'm like, this is fucking ridiculous. So when you get up and you're like, you're like, no, I'm just, could you open the blinds a little? Yeah, thanks. I'm like, okay, breakfast downstairs. You're like, I'm just going to sit here. And then you would just sit there for a fucking two more hours. And then you did this every day. You never, you never joined your family for breakfast one time, one time. No. May I, may I explain myself?

First of all, I'm so curious as to what is your disdain for my choice of what I do on my vacation? What does it bother somebody? It's not acceptable. What you did was unacceptable. I want to rest. I can't rest. I want to rest. Get out of here. It's my vacation. Stop. Everybody's up having breakfast. Everybody. I wake up. For weeks? You need a few weeks to adjust? We were all up every day. I'll be up with you fools.

I don't want to wake up with my kids on vacation. I do it all the time. I'm always the one that wakes up with those fuckers early in the morning, getting up, cooking breakfast. I don't want to do it on vacation. All right, well, then now we got it clear. That's the trade-off. You know what I want to do? What? I want to lay in bed, drink coffee. Oh, you did it. Scroll TikToks, take a shit, and then go straight to the shower. I mean, it would be 10 a.m. And she's like, ah, I'm going to bed.

Ready to get my day started now. It's like, oh, cool. How was your 14-hour rest period? See, Amy gets it. It's vacation. Yeah, that's great. That sounds like a perfect morning. Yeah, what am I supposed to do? Up in kettlebells at 4 a.m. with you, you psycho? I'm a woman. I'm resting. Okay. That's what you do on vacation, you weirdo. You need to talk to your shrink about why it angers you. You need to talk to your shrink about why it fucking angers you.

Why did it anger you? I'm very curious. What do you think it is, Zola? Why does it anger him that I can rest? I get it. I do get it. If I went to Italy with my girlfriend and she slept the whole time, I'd be like, you can sleep at home. We could have saved thousands of dollars. But I didn't sleep all day. And then also, she'd be like,

I'm going to take a nap. And then she'd go up there and fucking nap for us. We're in fucking Italy. Let's enjoy our time. I'm kind of on Christina's side here because... Smart Chad is. Like, my mom does so much that if we were to be on vacation with her and she wanted to sleep in, that would, you know, it would be okay with us. Do you do so much? Thank you. Do you do so much? I do so much for the children. I'm 24-7 on mom duty. Hey.

When you're touring, you're doing your thing, who's home alone with the kids all the time? This guy right here. So when I have other people there to take care of the kids, guess what? You guys can take care of the kids. Well, look, it's been 20 minutes we've been doing this show. You want to take a nap? I wish. I'm so tired. Why do you resent my rest? Oh, stop. It's just ridiculous. You don't even tell them about the gift I got you when you were there. I don't even remember. You came in me? Oh. The...

Decorative armpit jewelry. I'm wearing mine right now. That looks so nice. That's so cool. That's so cool. Yeah. What a neat... You grow your armpit hair out, ladies, and then you get decorative little beads and jewels to hang from them. That's really cute. I know Annie's excited. Hottest thing I've ever seen. Yeah, it's really nice. Sexy. So why don't you tell the audience...

We were walking. By the way, I did a lot of stuff when I was awake. I don't want you to think I didn't. We were constantly exploring. Oh, yeah. We went kayaking. You want to tell them about that? So we had stuff planned. Yes, we did kayaking. Sailing was fun. Do you want to tell them who I did it with? I went sailing. Hold on. Let's do kayaking first and then we go to sailing. Okay.

So kayaking, I've never done it before. It's clear. And I didn't know maybe we were getting a kayaking tour of the lake. I thought maybe the guy would paddle and we sit in the kayak with him. I don't really understand what was happening. Right, what's involved with a kayaking experience. So what it is, is there's a guide who sits in his kayak.

And then the two of us are in a separate kayak. Yeah, but you didn't know that either. I didn't know what it was. I just knew it was kayaking. We didn't know. We were just like, well, what is this thing called? I've seen people do it in the lake here. But then we got into our kayak and we are each given an oar, right? Which I've never done before. And I'm paddling my little hard out. Hold on. And the instructor goes, you know, if you flip the paddle around, it actually pushes the water. So just so you guys know what happened was. Whoops.

She sat in the front. Such a fucking dummy. I sat in the back. And I am like a fucking seal. Just like... And then I look up and her paddles just... It's like someone said, can you take the temperature of the water? And they just touch the water and they go like this. And they just touch the water. There's no propelling. None. No like... So I'm just like...

But you like it. I mean, you love the fitness. Sure. So I'll let you do it. So you should actually be thanking me for your incredible workout. That was an incredible workout. It was more than an hour of paddling for the two of us. And I just saw her just rest it. She was like,

Just checking out the view. Oh, that was the best part. That was fun. So then you go to me and then you go, oh, I've also arranged a sailing thing where we can learn to sail. And I said, no thanks, Tom Hanks. Trick me once.

Shame on you. Trick me twice. Go fuck your mother. I'm not learning to skip the jib jab and squalor the honky tonks. And I don't want to sweat. I just want to lay on a beautiful boat. And what it was, was a sailboat just for me. And I didn't have to do a fucking thing, but sit there and drink wine with the sail guy who was like, you just came alone. And I was like, yes, yes.

How romantic. Yeah, it was just he and I just connecting on deeper levels. Yeah. He scribbed the jib jab and squonked the honky tonk. Yeah. I don't want anything to do with that shit. He was like, do you want to lay down? I was like, sure. Would you like to get naked? Yeah, we got naked. Why are they French all of a sudden? Yeah. Would you like to get naked? He dropped anchor and was like, you can swim here and I will watch you. I was like, okay. Did you swim alone? Yes, I swam alone. Yes. God.

He and I just talked about life, sailing. Look, we like different levels of intensity in our vacation activities. It wasn't intense to be a passenger. That's what I'm saying. I didn't know. I thought you were going to trick me and make me do all the sailboating, like kayaking. Pull that rope, Christina. Yeah. I don't want to be ill. I don't want anything to do with that. Because I'm a pug, as we discussed. We're both pugs. I like vacation. I like good tastes. I like naps. I like lounging in the sun. Mm-hmm.

So we go for a... We do walk around a lot. We went to Lake Como, so we're walking around during the day. And then you and I were walking around and we came down some steps. There's a big, beautiful staircase. There's an interesting story about that staircase. Do you know what it is? Go ahead. So the king of Belgium had bought Villa Giulia, which is this massive villa with crazy gardens. And his wife noted that

that the house was on one side of the lake and they could see the lake, but she couldn't see across to the other side of the land and that lake. So they knocked down all the fucking trees in front of the house and

and built these stairs down just so that this dude's wife could see that. It's called love, Tom. Yeah. And I bet he didn't shame her when she slept in on vacation either. Yeah, but he didn't. But he loved his wife. So we're walking down these beautiful steps. And to the right of us is a restaurant where the Italians are dining and eating.

At the bottom of the steps, there's, you know, men, women on dates, sweet 20-year-olds holding hands. They're walking by the lake. It's very romantic. And you rip.

The loudest burp. It was a massive burp. That Italy has ever heard. It was one of those. Like one of those, yeah. It was multi-tiered. Yeah. And I was like, you gotta be kidding me. It was so loud. And there was a couple. So we were at the top. This is like 100 stairs. They were probably two-thirds of the way down. And when I let it out, the guy, he went...

It's the best. Like he was scared, you know? He's like, what's that? Yes. Yeah. It was a twofold look because I saw it. The first was, what was that? And then it was recognition. Of that. Oh, some fucking dirt bag. Yeah. Ripped burp. Yeah. What an asshole. And then there was like that European thing of like, what are you crazy? Yeah. What are you doing, dummy? And then what? Five seconds later? Yeah.

A fart. Ripped a toot. And that was right next to the restaurant. That was next to the restaurant. It was so loud. And there were people dining on the patio. And they were like,

Yeah. Yeah. We're such American donkeys. And then we took our kids. You loved it. I love it. I love it. I don't care. Look, like they don't burp and fart in it. Like, give me a break. And then we went to the park and our kids were doing like the kids zip line. Yeah. Remember? And then we got on it too. And of course it's weren't too heavy and it was like barely hanging on. That zip line was like dragging. Well, you're, you could kind of do it. Mine, I went right to the ground and then you can see other, the guy was like,

There was a parent there like, what are you doing? It's really fun. Why, stupid? Why? But I do like that when we're in Italy, we have disdain for other tourists. That's pretty fun. Because I think you and I... I think anywhere I go. Yeah. Anywhere I go, I'm like, ugh, tourists. Look at them. They're such nerds. I'm a local. I have a Vespa here. Yeah. And we rented a Vespa, Valentina. Valentina was beautiful. She's gorgeous. Yeah. Stopped working because...

julian turned it on 45 times i know they're like they're like the ignition is not um functioning normal have you turned it on a lot i'm like yeah i a grown man i sit on the vespa and i turn it on and off over and over all night my fucking five-year-old did and they're like this is why i'm like this is way but um there was a time where so we pulled into this hotel you and i were on the vespa and like sometimes they would speak italian to us yeah and that was like yes we passed for a

Yeah, that was great. And I would say just a few things back and they were like, oh, yeah. Yeah, I like that. What's your type thing? You're like, what's your type thing?

Yeah, I like that. I like that. Pass in for locals. And I also, I just love sitting around eating ice cream and like watching tourists. It's a fun people watching. It's the best. And it feels like life kind of downshifts the whole thing, right? Everything's like, everyone there, whether they live there or are vacationing there, all have this way about them that is, this is an easier way to be. Less stressful way of living.

of existing. Yeah, it really is. Yeah. It was so fun. It was awesome. It was a nice time. Can't say enough good things about Italy. Sorry my dad never wanted to go. I can't believe he missed out on Italy. Yeah, I don't like the food. So, yeah, I can't wait to go back. I cannot wait to go back to Italy. And there's so much of the country to explore.

So much. And I'm excited. I'm going to learn Italy in with you. And you've been learning Italy on the toilet. On the toilet. And then tomorrow I start with my tutor. I have a tutor. Look at you. Yeah. We're becoming Italian. Yeah. Hour of immersion. Okay. I have to peachy. Oh, go, go. Yeah.

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So we go on a boat tour with the kids one day. Yes. This is one of the things everybody joined me on. Everybody joins you because this was just sit around and be idle, which is great. And I overhear you talking to the captain who's a local and who knows everything about everything about Lake Como. That's George Clooney's house. That's da, da, da, da, da, right? And I overhear one sentence. Well, that's one of the good things Mussolini did. And I was like, what? Yeah.

Which is interesting, too, because you were in a heavy Hitler phase. You were watching those documentaries. What? It's an interesting sentence, yes. No, I mean, it's true, though. No, I was watching, yeah, I did watch that. I mean, you know, I talk about it on stage, how there's just so many docs. And this latest one, you're like, what am I going to learn on this that I don't already know? I got to tell you, a lot. A lot. A lot. A lot.

So much. Your friend. Schicklgruber. That's his real name. His real name is Schicklgruber. He changed it to Hitler. Did you know that? I did not. Yeah, I didn't know that either. Schicklgruber. That's his real last name. Definitely not as charismatic as Hitler. He didn't change it.

His dad changed it. Oh, interesting. Alois changed it to Heiler. And through a still unknown clerical reason, it was changed to Hitler. His real last name is Schickelgruber. I'm so glad we all know that now. But they really built up the story of how he got to be Hitler.

the big time knucklehead that he was. Yeah. And then there's a whole chapter with Mussolini and I was like, this is fucking great. We're here in his house and now we're learning about Mussolini. He was a little rascal too. He was a rascal. But they were, they got along, you know, they were buddies. They really, well, I mean, and I like, you know what I love about these documentaries? When they show these guys having a good time. Hanging out. When they have video of them being like, I'm like, you know,

laughing and like having the time you're like ah see he's just a regular guy and uh old Mussolini yeah there they are just fucking just broing down we're just hanging out yeah so Hitler looked at Mussolini as the elder dictator like hey how do we fucking do this shit you know and uh Mussolini was like I'll show you what we do

I'll show you how you do it. This is how you fucking tell people what's up. They do look like bros though, don't they? They bro down hard. They play golf together. They bro down super hard. Stalin, not so much. Not as fun. Right there, he's like, look at the tits on this broad. He's laughing about it, you know? Yeah, because Stalin doesn't look like he had any fun. Yeah, no. But Mussolini had fun. He's Italian. Yeah, yeah. Hey, please. Yeah, he's having a good time.

So you get to, it is actually one of the most phenomenal, it's a six part documentary. It's the best one I've ever seen on the topic. It's on Netflix. It just came out recently. I cannot recommend it. And you will learn more than just name stuff. They really piece things together incredibly well. But we were passing by Tremetzo, which is where Mussolini was executed and strung up. And they're like, yeah, it's right over there. And then that guy was like telling me,

I go, right there? He's like, right there. Right there. That's where Mussolini was killed and displayed with his lady. And they still have a little monument. Like, this is where Mussolini was killed. And he was like, you know, Mussolini was a real bad guy, but, you know, he did some good things. And I was like, that's cool. I'm like...

Like what? He's like, well, national health care. That's because of Mussolini and, you know, kind of some social programs. I was like, yeah, you can't. Like I said, John Wayne Gacy was a great neighbor. He had barbecues and he'd lend you salt or whatever. He was, you know, these guys aren't all one thing. Nobody's all one thing. It's funny that you've never I've never heard those words put together. The good thing about Mussolini. Yeah. And that was the good thing. Nobody gives any credit. Mm hmm.

They just go, oh, fascist nationalist. And you're like, okay. Yeah. You just don't want to paint him with that brush. Exactly. He's so multidimensional. Give him a little bit of credit. It's a little more gray, you know. It's not just black and white. Anyway. Anyway. So. So. Should we tell? Sure. All right. Well, anyway, you know, your mom's house is obviously...

It's our thing we've been doing for a million years. And you guys have, this audience has been with us through the birth of our children, through deaths in the family, through everything. And I mean, I have like, it's so weird. Okay. I'll just, I'll just tell you guys what's going on with me. So we had to cut our trip a little short. Um,

Cause I, uh, I, I had a mammogram a little while ago and, uh, there was an abnormality and I have very, very early stage breast cancer. Womp womp. So, um, yeah, so, but it's totally treatable. I, the prognosis is very, very good. I will not die. This is not my last summer on earth. I've already asked everybody, um,

And the thing that's going to suck, I mean, it is highly treatable. I'm going to be fine. It's just the, you know, what they have to do to get to be, they're going to be very aggressive. And, you know, so that's the part that's going to suck is like treating it. But look, this is still a big part of my life. This podcast brings me so much joy and I'm going to continue to do it. You know, when I'm kind of up and running, I guess. I don't know. We'll see how I feel. Of course, it's however you feel. You're having surgery. Yeah.

Right. Surgery first. And then, of course, because I've been watching this show, part of the show, I know exactly what to do. Urine therapy. I'm going to be drinking my own urine starting now. I'm drinking your urine because you don't have cancer. Nope. And also, like, here's my thinking with this. First of all, I hate the phrase breast cancer. I wish we could call it tit cancer. Like, let's not. Please don't. Deal with your tits. My tits. And, like...

I'm annoyed at the person I'm going to have to become now. Like, am I going to have to be the pink ribbon wear? Oh my God. And then like, I have to do a one woman show.

On being a survivor. You have to start talking as a survivor. I got to talk about it. Like, I don't want it to become my identity. And like, I don't want to tell, I don't want to do the Instagram post of me in a hospital gown, thumbs up, and then go like, get your mammograms, ladies. Mammograms save lives. What about messages that people will send you? Well, first of all, let me back it up. You got this. Oh, fuck. Don't send me. You got this mama or whatever.

We're going to kick cancer's butt. There's nothing worse when bad things actually happen to you, when people send you slogans or platitudes. If you're going to send me a message, which I do appreciate, I'm not saying don't. Let's make it creative. I want to laugh. Do something different. Send me something. Send your boobs. Show me your boobs. Why don't you send me something like, you're going to beat cancer the way Hitler beat the Jews. Or you're going to skull fuck this cancer.

You know what I mean? Sure. You're the patient. Go ahead. Or just like stream of consciousness. Let it go. That was good. Right. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I know what you're saying. I think maybe blast it the way the, I don't know. I want to say that. What, what, what about, I don't know. First of all, what isn't it crazy that women can vote?

Like, isn't that crazy in a way? I had a female pilot a couple days ago. You're changing the subject already on this? No, I'm just talking, it's all related to you. Oh, okay, okay. So it's kind of, I think maybe the message is like, let's get women back home. Let's... Back in the kitchen. Back in the kitchen. Learn to make quiche. Right. Learn to make complicated dishes. Do you think it's because of my ambition in the world that God punished me with tit cancer? It's quite possible. Yeah. My bad attitude. Yeah. I mean, I would send messages...

about what women should be doing and it's not exploring or trying new things. Right. Thank you. Thank you for that. Yeah. It's basically stay in bed. Stay in bed. That's what I like doing anyway. Also, don't, I don't, the mammogram thing, I don't want to tell people to get mammograms. Sure. Why send a helpful message that could save another's life? Don't get mammograms because I got a mammogram that ruined my summer vacation plans. There you go.

So I'm just letting you know right now. Don't get one. Don't you dare. It absolutely saved your life because, no, at a certain point it would be, but it didn't ruin your vacation. So just know that. It might indicate that something's wrong, but it might fuck up your summer plans. So keep that in mind.

Definitely fucked up. You got this mama. Oh my God. You got this girl. We're going to kick cancer's butt. Like, just anything. Can I get into some, yeah. A pretty major part of this. Oh yeah. You actually have two operations. Yeah.

Sorry, I don't mean to laugh, but okay, well, let's talk about how this happened. So, okay, first of all, let's back this ass up. So it all happened so fast. Like I got my mammogram and then they're like, okay, you need to come back for another one. And of course my attitude is horrible. I'm like, fuck you, I'm fine. You know, I'm such a bad, like I'm a terrible person about that. They go back and then they're like, oh, we found something in the second mammogram that

Now we have to do a biopsy. And I was like, fuck, dude, the fucking biopsy, right? So of course they take a chunk out of your tit and there's blood everywhere. It's crazy. I was like, dude, there's so much blood. And you take me to that, which was really nice. And then, so then they call, they always call, well, they always, they call me on like Friday at 5 p.m.

And it's like, oh, we found something in your pathology. You have cancer. Okay, bye. Have a good weekend. And you're like, no, dude. You can't tell somebody they have cancer on a Friday. And you're just left there the whole weekend just like, my life is over. Because you don't know the extent of it. Once you get that initial pathology, you don't really know what you're dealing with. You just hear cancer and you're in another dimension. So like...

I'm so lucky that I have nice friends like Duncan Trussell, who's dealt with testicular cancer and he helped talk me off a ledge. And I also planned a goth dance party with my closest friends that weekend. So like they came to Austin and we got partied and it was, it was a great distraction. So Monday comes,

And so you want to, we go to the surgeon, we meet with the surgeon and she's telling us what we do know now. Okay. So we're, she's like, it's a discovery. Here we go. So this is what we're dealing with.

And she examines my breasts. Okay, let's check the lymph nodes. Lymph nodes are clear. And she goes, well, okay, so we're going to do surgery on you. It's a partial mastectomy. Okay. And I go, okay, great, great. And she's like, well, I mean, as long as they're in there, is there anything you want done? Right, because it's a lumpectomy, right? Yes, but it's called a partial mastectomy. And essentially, for people that don't know, that means they...

cut you open and they take out this tissue that is the problematic tissue. But they also take out a chunk of tissue surrounding the problem issue so that the margin, they call it the margin, so that they get everything. And I don't want to cut you off, but let's run a commercial and we'll be right back. And we're back. Go ahead. So,

Okay, so we're sitting in this woman's office. I'm open. My boobs are out. And she goes, okay, so we're going to do the surgeries or anything. This was amazing. Yeah, anything you want to do while we're there. And I go, no, I'm fine. I'm not very – I don't care. This is my life. I'm not very vain. Well, yeah. She goes, is there anything you want to do to your breasts? Because we're operating on it, so we can also –

Do something else. We can do cosmetic surgery to your breasts since we're operating on them anyway. We're already in surgery. And you go, I'm sitting there. You go, I'm not very vain. I don't really care. No, I have to. Can I tell you what she says, though? No, but you say that. You go, I'm not vain. I don't really care. And then she goes, I know you're not vain, but this is, it's burned into my mind. Your nipple is down here. The nipple should be up here.

We can do that for you. And then she says, wouldn't that be nice? But she does it by the way. She doesn't just point. She takes your, she takes your tit and she takes the nipple that's here and she lifts it up and she goes, wouldn't that be nice? I forgot that she actually lifted your tit. Yeah. Oh my, I forgot. I blacked out. I blanked out. And I was like, Savage. Yeah.

savage and like in the moment I was like oh yeah that is really nice and then later I thought about it and I was like dude that doctor that doctor negged me she pulled a fucking mystery on me like that guy would be like you're not that hot and then you're like wait but I am hot what if you did your hair I bet you'd be a lot prettier and you're like what? yeah

Yeah. She was like, you could fix your tits. She got me. She did. She got me. Now, but now I'm... Well, I just, you know, this is obviously, this is a serious thing. This is a real thing. Yeah. And, you know, the... It's a bummer. Well, the procedure to extract, it's medically necessary. It's required. Otherwise, things would progress. The fact...

that you have the opportunity to go bigger and you don't do it though is kind of heartbreaking because you're opting to reduce when you could just you could go huge right now yeah I think that's kind of a selfish move keep going

Keep going. Well, I told the, so, so there's, there's two surgeons that are going to work on me, right? Double tit surgery. Double tits. One is going to take out the cancer and then the other one is going to reconstruct. And then I decided, drum roll, to reduce the size of my tits. Now I know that's going to be devastating for you. For everyone. For everyone. Go ahead. You're going to have to come up with a whole new slew of names. They offered implants.

They're like, we can do it in place. It's not my style. You could be triple Gs. Easily. Well, when I told the plastic surgeon how big mine were, she went, oh. I was like, oh, that's big. And I was like, yeah, yeah, just bring me down to like a normal. This is a normal, like a C cup. And she's like, that's pretty drastic. You're in for a pretty drastic.

I'm like, well, yeah. But then it got me excited because I'm like, okay, well, look, this is lemons. Now I'm looking at tits online. I'm shopping for tits. Can we do the liposculpting at the same time as my tits? Maybe have my upper bleph work done? I don't know. I think while you're down, I don't know why you don't just do it all. You're down. At what? And they're already, yeah, I mean, you're going to fix your nose, right? What? My nose? It's bulbous at the end. It is not. It's bulbous and round. It is.

And they pull you back. They pull you here, you know, and you use... Here? Yeah. You get some real lemonade. Like, you really use the... Full body. Yeah. Do the mommy makeover. Sure. Yeah. Because remember the cancellation, she's like, you have gorilla tits. She did not say that. She said that. Because the nipples are down. Like Coco. Yeah. Pull up Coco the gorilla. Yeah. Coco. I do have Coco tits. Yeah. It's so funny because...

Oh, put it, put it, go gorilla tits. Look at gorillas tits. I have like gorilla tits from breastfeeding two kids. And you know, it's so sad, Tom, because I had just gotten used to my gorilla tits. There they are. That's what she said. That's what I am. That's what the surgeon said. Coco, the gorilla tits. She goes, you have tits like a gorilla. Yeah. And you can...

Do you want to change your gorilla tits and the people tits? I was like, yeah, dude, I want fucking people's tits. She took them. They were where Coco's were. And she just goes, wouldn't that be nice? I forgot that she touched them. I was like in a fog that day. Yeah, she got me. Can you imagine if we had the dick guy here, if he had pulled my dick out and been like, wouldn't this be nice? Wouldn't that be nice?

Yeah, you know she'd done that sales pitch before. Oh, yeah. Yeah, she did. But I'm glad she did. Look, I'm not angry at it. I think it's a... Why not? You know, I've mentioned getting a reduction in the past. I normally, I don't want to do surgery unless I have to. Yeah. I have to, so may as well. Well, I got a treat for you. Oh, what's that? Just keep your eye on the screen. Okay.

Now, well, Christine, now you go get better because RPC is saying this prayer for you and love that you get better. We're not feeling well. And I hope you're feeling better. We want you on your mom's house with your cheerful smile and your loveliness. You're the Mary Tyler Moore. Now, you're the Mary Tyler Moore of our love. We love you. Get better.

better, baby. And remember, smile in your beautiful clothes. When you get on there, everyone loves Christina and Tom. And it's like, you're like Steve, you're like Edie, and he's like Steve. And we love you. So get better, baby. And we love you. Come on. Get on there and say, hi, buddy. And say, let's go fart in there. Love you. Get better now. We miss you. And love to all.

Thank you. That was awesome. RPC is awesome, man. He wore his best hat that says fuck on it, too. That's really nice. That is nice. That's homemade, too. And guess what? That's really sweet. There's not just one video. No.

Hi, Miss Christina. I hope I heard you. I feel very well. Now you're going to get better because we all miss your mom's house out there with that pretty smile and that pretty face. Now you know you're a pretty little thing. You're going to get better because RP sends his love to you out there from Lucifer's Lay on all over. Your mom's love you and we love you. We love Tom. We love you. Now you're going to get better, girl, because you got a whole lot of hoot and a whole lot of fun and a whole lot of summer. We love you, Miss Christina. You're going to get well now.

You did with the cowboy hat and the accent. I love it. I love it. I love you. Okay.

He bedazzles everything. Yeah, he does. He does. Can I tell you something? If you had that guy, like it's so depressing when you get like biopsies and mammograms and you go through a slew of tests when you get this diagnosis. Yeah. I just wish something cheerful were there. Yeah. Honestly, like the furniture's from the fucking 90s. It's horrible. And also, I hate it. You know, hospitals. I think I talked about this a while back.

But like, you know, that's very somber. I know. And then I did a tour because I had donated. I got a tour of Children's Hospital in Austin, down here in Austin. And everything is colors and bright and there's artwork. And the hallways turn because they studied that long straight hallways are more depressing. So they have like curvy hallways and like,

there's platforms outside with grass, so there's access to the outdoors. And they're like, yeah, this is for kids. And you're like, yeah, great. And you're like, why don't you just do it for adults too? It's not like if you're an adult, you go, I want to be depressed in here. Well, you're already terrified. If you're getting a breast MRI, chances are it's not a good reason. You're there for a bad reason. And the furniture is from the 90s, and the walls are just sterile. And it's like it would have been nice to have just a piece of artwork.

artwork. Yeah. Or a guy, a gay man in a cowboy hat. Yeah. Just walking around the halls. That would be really cool. Yeah. I thought this might make you feel good too. Just to cheer you up. Sure. Look. Oh, I'm going to puke. Look at that. I got it. Could you read what it says on the screen? I don't want to. I don't want to. Just read it. You do. I kiss a missionary while rubbing your clit. You don't want this.

What if that was part of your treatment? I'd rather have cancer than stage four. Again, just reiterate one of your big messages. Right. You don't want to be the get your mammogram person. No. So remember, don't get them. Don't get them. Because it could ruin your vacation. It'll fuck up all your summer plans. Could inform you in a very meaningful way. No, you don't want that. You don't want that.

Just remember that, guys. What are you going to do with my... I'm going to have tinier tits now. I don't know. I mean, seriously, I did worry for a minute when I was talking to the plastic surgeon. Like, you've only ever had me with gigantic state droopers. I've only been hanger steak. It's going to be a whole new experience. Should I... And also, you didn't talk about that I've been practicing my...

This is another bit we've been doing where you pretend to be sad if I die. Do like, oh, your wife is dead. What? No! It's slower so much. It's time to go on. Time to go on. You're sure, right? Got to rock and roll. Yeah. You would do that if I were like in the hospital and they're like, just stop breathing. You're like, she was fine a minute ago. Then I go like this.

and then i look at the back and then i go like that wink and they're like jeez yeah yeah i don't want to be like the cancer lady i don't want to talk like i have to wear pink ribbon now and do that whole you don't have to you i think this this cool new path that you're designing for yourself as the i don't want to warn people is a really interesting lane i think they would really appreciate you in the field yeah yeah yeah i've had it

Fucked up my whole vacation. It's a cool thing. Well, okay, if we're being serious, I mean, yeah, thank God I did go for my mammogram and that they found it because my doc was like, you know, the chances of them catching this is pretty slim because your tits are so big and fibrous and dense and huge and enormous and sloppy and hangy and ape-like that it's true that...

you know, she's like, you're really lucky. Yeah. Cause they're tiny little things. It's not like, and actually it announces itself. No, no. And, and the, the people that did the scan and read the report are pretty amazing. What they find are salt like crystals. Yep. I mean, think about a grain of salt.

I know. It's so, and it's funny cause the, that's cancer. Yeah. It's crazy. Cause the, the radiologist, the Reddit, even like he looked like cancer. Yeah. Like he came in and he was like bald like you, but like no facial hair, you know, like those like pristine fucking doctor hands. And I was like, fuck, this guy looks like,

he's going to tell me I'm fucked up. You know, you just know it. And they're like, no, you're fine. It's likely nothing. I'm like, no. Yeah. I know what it is. And they can't tell you shit. Like when they do your, your mammogram, the person that reads it, they can't tell you anything. And you're like, Oh, I thought I know it. I know I got it. You bitch. But they can't tell you. I get that. I know. So upsetting. You got this mama. You got it. Um, I thought this would actually make you happy for real, for real happy. Yeah.

Do you get diarrhea too? Yes, I get diarrhea. My immediate reaction is, oh my gosh, I'm in trouble. I use kaopectate because it works. Kaopectate stops my diarrhea. I rely on it. Oh my gosh. I knew you would like it. That is not how you react. Oh my gosh, I'm in trouble. Oh my gosh, I'm in trouble. I knew you would like that. I knew you would love it.

I get diarrhea. That was the best one. Oh, can I tell you? I was most disappointed to tell my health news is to, I was most disappointed to tell it to any, I feel like you're going to be disappointed in me that I,

I didn't beat this with my mind. Cancer's cap. Right. I feel like it's a sign of weakness that somehow my Eastern European cockroachness did not defeat this. How did I let this happen? I mean, you haven't even given it enough time yet. I think you're beating it right now. What do you mean? I see you beating it right there. You don't look sick to me. I'm not. What are you talking about? Kind of some bullshit. You look great. I've been drinking my urine from the minute I found out. That helps so much. I don't waste a drop. This is...

That's a good point. And coffee enemas. You've got to rub it in the skin topically. I've been asking Will Blunderfelt for some of his urine, the triple soul shaman, because it's got just a little bit of testosterone, a little spermidone in there. He was on Behind the Genes with John Tyler. Can you explain Breath of Fire for us? So I used to be addicted to Coke.

And alcohol. And this is like the cocaine of yoga. And what you do is you actually squeeze your anus slightly, close your piss slit slightly, and close your PC, your pubic oxygene muscle, like the muscle you would use to stop the flow of piss. Yes. We call that the three gates of your sex palace. Let your sack drop. Let your balls hang over the edge of your chair. I want you to draw your consciousness down into your anus, sex organ, navel point. Damn it.

We're going to start to pump our bellies in and out. So with every exhale, I want your navel point to just go in a bit. So it's like you're stoking a fire. And in your mind, if you find your mind's wandering, vibrate the mantra, Soham, Soham, Soham, which means I'm protected by all that is, and I'm part of all that is. Start to speed it up. You can do it through your mouth if you want to. Soham, Soham, Soham. That beautiful anal ring. Soham, Soham.

Everybody inhale. Squeeze your anus, sex organ, navel, roll the eyes up. Exhale. Exhale.

I feel like I was going to pass out there for a second. That was great. Nice, bro. How does it feel? It feels good. I've done a lot of breath work in my time, and that one was my favorite. I like focusing the energy in the most important areas. Yes. My penis and my balls. Yes.

I have watched the clip of him doing that on this show like 50 times. Yeah. He's like, squeeze that anal ring, that beautiful anal ring. Yeah. He's got that Canadian. Yeah. Will, send me some piss. Potter's doing great work, by the way. Oh, I bet. Yeah, he's doing great work here. Are you ready to, I know because this is something we talked about. What? To finish this, did any fart investigation? Of course, I've been thinking about this. Look at him shaking his head.

So wait, just to fill people in, basically the whole staff accused Eni of ripping a monster fart in the lobby. And they said they came out of rooms and Tanner was in there and they were like, it was crazy. And Eni was like, that's 100% not true. That is not what happened. And then they said there was footage of

like a camera footage from the lobby of when this happened. Oh, wow. Let's see. This is called any fart footage. Let me put my glasses on. Yeah, you ready for this motherfucker to narrate you? Yeah, let me see. Narrate you a little story? Let me see. I don't know what he fucking made. I didn't narrate anything. Hold on.

Okay, hold on. Oh, there's Eni. He's sitting down right in the chair. Yeah, you can see him lift his leg. Wait, who else is sitting in the office here? It's me and Tanner. Oh, the two of you. Sorry, both of you. So he's in the white shirt against the window there. That's Eni. Okay. He lifted. I saw the lift. Yeah. I saw the head up. Oh, what's that? What are you saying there? Do you remember? Me? So I'm saying, why can you fart and I never can?

And even in that moment, he's like, I didn't fart. Look at him. Yeah. He's denying. He's saying I didn't fart. Yeah, but listen to what we're doing right now. Hold on. Listen to what we're doing. And then they're like, what was that? This is crazy, man. Now I see how the news does it. Now I see how the news be getting away with this bullshit. No, this is CNN. You're right. This is crazy, man. This is exactly the same. Well, so that Heather, everybody's out. They're both like, that was a pretty crazy fart that we just heard. We were in the office. I'm getting that. Yeah. Yeah.

So then I have another one in there because I knew Annie would kind of say that this isn't exactly proof. Does anybody fart like disrespectfully like openly here? Go ahead, Zolo. You've known me for how long? Going on six years probably. Six years. Yeah, no, Annie is definitely not one to let farts fly. But I feel like it's not really a thing. I mean, you're really the only person, Tom. Really? Excuse me. I'm sorry.

But I feel like Studio Jeans has an open fart policy. The burps are crazy. The girls are belching. It's wild. Caitlin's got her nodding in her back. She's like, yeah. But the fart culture here hasn't really evolved to that yet. The crazy thing is at the end of that episode when we were first arguing about this, Annie farts into the microphone while we're recording. So I go to look for that footage. What?

Yeah, he farted right into his own microphone right when you show the tape show the tape to his own When did he do this? It was at the end of that episode when we were I guess we weren't recording anymore No, we were and so I went to go get the footage and right when that happens the screen goes black and then the fart Sounds but it's got all this echo and reverb in it. So he went in and manipulated the footage. I can't fucking believe this You're literally this is fucking psychotic, bro

You're going way too deep for this shit. This is insane. I don't fuck with this shit nigga. This is crazy. I swear to you. I don't fuck with this shit. I will say watching the any farting footage the camera hidden whatever surveillance

I just saw a leg lift. I didn't see a foot. I know. I just saw him tap, whatever. Well, that's why I went. And that's not a fart. Bro, I'm the most fidgety motherfucker ever. You could look at me through the rest of that video. I bet you're going to find me lifting my leg up 800 more times. I'm moving all the time. I'm a fucking psycho. So I'm an audio guy. Yeah. But I tamper with the footage.

though. No, there's all these new audio tools and with AI and everything, you could actually what I was able to do was dig into the metadata and extract what the audio was actually like. Okay. That's what this says here? Yeah. What? This is fucking assortment.

oh my fucking you see this shit man so he be the one talking about yo and that's him still farting there is what you're saying i'm fucking this is dumb bro no this is dumb bro i'm fucking yep it sounded like charlotte fart oh it's so snappy oh it hurts that does sting you can feel that

Well, there is that. Yeah. They're inconclusive. The point is that there really is. I mean, that that video in and of itself is interesting and you can narrate a story, but it's also not damning. Right. Without. It's not conclusive evidence. But it is fascinating that the girls are.

Leave that and they go right there. I mean... Right, why would they? Unless Chad is framing Eni. Chad farted and then you see Eni go, you see Eni go, what the fuck? Are you saying, because the one thing that there's...

That I can't deny. Everybody says they heard something that day. Everybody. Are you saying that somebody else farted that day? I don't know. Or you didn't hear something that day? No, I don't hear... If I heard a fart, I definitely would be talking about it. There would definitely be a conversation. And then the other... Chad was there, but also Tanner was there. Yeah. And Tanner claims...

You want to know something too? Tanner was, they put him, Chad put him on getting the footage. So he looked in the footage, found a different moment that he was like, this is the one that was the fart. Tanner found a clip of him and Annie dancing. We were dancing and there was a song playing so he was like, this is the moment. And then we played it. I did the apparently I farted even though I wasn't really moving. And then we go and him and I were like dancing for a second. And it was like, I'm like, that's me farting? And Chad's like, no, no, no, that's not it. That's not it. The old

The whole problem with this footage is the audio. We need to have audio as well as visual proof. And we don't have that. We don't. We do have any farting into his microphone if he will admit that it exists and what he did with it, if he could show us where he put it. You changed the footage? Yes, he did. Why would he do that? Because he's trolling me. He gives me great links to play these games. Bro, I don't...

touch files man I don't edit no more I don't even have Premiere on my computer dog how am I gonna do any of these things that you're saying with all this time that I have nigga I'm fucking this is crazy man I'm a technical director but I don't got time for this nonsense look at what you've done there's a whole fucking podcast world sees this now niggas gonna be talking about I farted bro why are we doing this man because she's crazy

This is crazy. This is, well, to be continued. And we'd like to hear from you. If you're a legal expert and you feel like you can kind of point us in the right direction here. We're looking at forensic video people, forensic audio people. Oh, yeah. Lawyers, judges, DAs, assistant DAs. Let us know what's the right thing to do next.

That's true. We have utilized the law. Maybe we should use... You know what we could really do? What if we did our first ever YMH trial where we get a 12-person jury? Oh my gosh. That's a great idea. Jury of your peers and have them...

Decide what happened. That's a fantastic idea. That's pretty cool, right? That's a fantastic idea. There's a courtroom we could use. I know where we could use one. Let's do it. This is a great idea. Yeah. You guys need defense lawyers, though. You guys need to lawyer up. Yeah. Maybe there's some nice lawyers out there. No, no, no, no. I mean, they don't, like, there's a prosecutor here. Yeah.

And there's somebody who's being attacked. And he's on defense. He needs a defense attorney. The prosecution is going to be working with Chad's team. I mean, they're accusing him of something. And he's defending himself, which he has every right to be. And let me be the first to say, you are innocent until proven guilty in this country. That's right, Tom. This is not Mussolini's fucking Italy. Okay.

It's going to be hard to find an impartial jury because everybody here heard him fart. Oof. I mean, this just, you know, you're going to have to call witnesses. You're right. You already have everybody under you. So, yeah, I wouldn't be able to trust anybody. See, was that me too, Chad? Is this me that you're hearing? No. Oh. Just my eye then, yeah. We have an incredible update. I didn't think this would happen. Okay. Okay. This is a...

This is a YMH exclusive. YMH exclusive. YMH exclusive. I don't know. This, I didn't think this would happen. I thought we were going to be reading about a funeral before we read about this. Okay. You ready? Yes. It's me, Tony Jones. Yes. Woo.

My favorite.

I've been off social media networks for a long time. Now I'm doing amazing out here in New York. I've got my family, my friends around me at all times. I've stopped partying. I've done a total 180 with my life. I'm loving life now. I haven't had a drink in almost five years.

five years. Wow. I got a DUI, baby. And I'm doing great. I'm making good money. I'm living with my biological mother. Now I'm working a lot to try to focus on me and my family. Just wanted to let everybody know that I finally made it into the world. Sometimes you just have to pack up and go. When I did that, my whole life changed. It's sad, but true. I don't know who runs this page. My old Twitter account is Tony Johns triple zero, but I have not been on any social media platforms since 2020. Wow.

My life in New York is strictly make money for my family, help out, keep moving. I did open up a Facebook account. The name is at Anthony Cook. Anthony Cook. If anyone wants to look me up, feel free anyway. Have a good one. Just want to let everyone know I'm doing great out in New York. That is amazing.

We never hear positive cool guy updates. Never, never. And it's really actually, I find that to be really sweet. It got real dark. It got to a dark point where I remember there was times where we had some Tony John updates over the last few years in the form of videos where we were just like, let's not play this. It was depressing. And so to hear that he's doing, you know... COVID, you know, 19 virus. Better is...

is fantastic. He brings me so much joy. And the fact that Tony is with his biological mom now and he looks great. Look at him. Got a tan. He's got the watch still. He's doing great. That must be like a fucking 50 millimeter. That's really crazy. Good for him. Yeah, he definitely looks better. Is that the new Facebook account? Yeah, it is. Anything else on there? Bunch of photos with family. This is his uncle apparently. Aww.

Tony Jones. Oh my God, I have to know everything. I know. And he's by the water. Oh, he looks great. He looks really good. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's definitely stopped doing stuff.

He got a job at Lowe's. Okay. Good for him. Good job. Oh, yeah. Lowe's. That'd be wild to walk into a Lowe's. I want to take a pilgrimage there. Look at him. Oh, let's go. Let's go. Can we go find him in Lowe's? I would love to find him. Oh, my God.

Yeah, so he really turned it around, man. He did. And just so you know. There we go. That's the Tony I know. Double fucking bird. Double bird. Look, he doesn't have a drink in his hand, you know. Well, here's the thing about drugs and alcohol. Don't do it, it's bad.

And he knows that now. God, he's so skinny. He is. He is. But I think he's always a lean guy. He's long and lean. And I don't see any beer cans or booze around him. He's doing great. Yeah. All right. Tony Johns. You know, I think about him every 4th of July. Yeah. He's the official guy for us. He is the official guy. Go and get a DUI, baby. Yeah.

Well, that's great. I'm really happy to give you the good news on that, on Tony John. Me too. Oh, I also have an update. Go ahead. You know, I was thinking about how I offered to go airtight last

To bring Oasis back. Yes. I'm willing to make the sacrifice between Liam and Noel Gallagher, the Gallagher brothers, to reunite with Oasis. Now, we had a problem last time because we- We were just talking about Liam- And Noel Gallagher. And Noel. I mean, that's not really airtight. But you know what? I forgot. There's another Gallagher brother. There's a third Gallagher brother. So I can actually go airtight. Perfect.

So there you go. It could be my make a wish if things go real south here to offer myself as airtight. And the real question out there is what are we doing, boys? Are we going to fucking...

Are we going to make the band? Is that the third Gallagher brother? Yeah, it is. Oh, okay. He doesn't look so much like the other two. Well, someone's going to be laying on their back and that's him. That's Paul. Paul. So Paul is in your vagine because that's who... Hold on. No, that's how it works. What do you mean? Why? Let me tell you how it works.

The big boy lays on his back. He's the big guy of the bros. He lays on his back because he can't do the other positions. So he lays on his back and you sit cowgirl position.

on him and then one of the other brothers stands I know it's too hard I got you and does this and the other one stands here he's not going to be so he's he's your vagine wait can I get Paul to go mouth can he stand at least no it's way too uncomfortable what if he sits because his back no it's sitting believe no he's going to sit he's going to lay on his back and you're going to squat over him he looks thinner there yeah he is that's a much older photo

I don't know if you know how time works, but that's from fucking 13 years ago. I can tell you're upset about this. No, I'm upset about the fact that you're not accepting that he's going to lay on his back and you're going to squat over him. I don't know what's hard. But don't you like Oasis? You don't want to hear good music? I'm the one that's telling you how the layout's going to work. All right. You've got to have one of the brothers in your mouth who you know.

And one in your poop shoot. You fucking asshole. You're so hateful. Oh, that's funny. God, I wish. You know, there was talk of them doing Glastonbury. Yeah. Every year there was like the threat of Oasis coming back. It never happened. Yeah. Maybe you could make it happen. I know. Maybe. What can I do to get Bauhaus to tour again? You know what we could do next? What we could do next?

After surgery, we send them a message. You like new tits? And we send them tit photos. Yeah, I've been looking at tits a lot. It's so fun to look for your potential new tits.

Dude, you realize too, like I've been dressing around big tits my whole life. Yeah. Because I've always had these monsters. Like I'm going to get to wear totally different fashions. A whole other fashion lane. True story. That's exciting. No, that's exciting. Because like I've always had to like go around this flaw of mine. I'm always hiding my tits. Like if you see me in the specials, how I dress, it's always to conceal my tits.

how enormous my tits are because I always look bigger on camera. Yeah. So like, I'm always having to be like, no Matt, you know, conceal. Ugh. It's going to be kind of a relief. Um, you know, of course. And now your brothers are going to love it. They're going to love it. I think they're going to love it. Uh, so this is an exciting every summer. I look forward to only a few things about the summer. Most above all,

It's that Magic Johnson goes on vacation. And when Magic Johnson goes on vacation, he goes on an all-star, five-star yacht in Europe every summer. And he always brings along a crew. Usually, I mean, obviously his wife, Cookie. He has invited Sam Jackson and his wife multiple times. Cedric the Entertainer. Sometimes other people join them. But the best thing is that he posts videos

Every day when he's on vacation and he has the most wholesome captions ever. And these are some of them from this year. He's been on vacation for like a couple weeks now. It's fucking amazing. Okay.

Today, Cookie and I enjoyed a beautiful day in Ibiza, Spain. We had a wonderful lunch at Juan y Andrea Forte Mentera with our friends John and Vicky Palmer, Sam and Latanya Jackson, and Cedric the Entertainer and his wife, Lorna. I encourage everyone to have lunch right on the beach at Juan y Andrea. We ate the catch of the day, fresh sea bass and lobster. So delicious. Exclamation point. Exclamation point, right? And then this totally sweet...

smile, right? And you're like, oh, next day, look at the amazing sunrise I got to enjoy at 6 a.m. this morning before my workout in Spain. That's sweet. Big smile. He's like... Oh, he's up at 6 a.m. on his vacation. Yeah, because he knows he's a fucking regular man. Jesus. We want to thank the Phoenix 2 staff for throwing the grooviest 80s theme party tonight. We had the best time and danced all night long. This is exactly... It's the opposite of who I am. I mean, it's...

This is kind of like how a child would post. Their first vacation. Your first vacation ever, you'd be like, we went and they had food there and it was so good. Yeah.

That's what you do on your very first vacation. Because he's an old person. He's done this a few times now. We just finished a fantastic dinner, Mammo and Michelangelo, with our friends John and Vicki, Sam and Latanya, Cedric and Lorna. It was a great way to end the night here in Antibes, France. A special thanks to restaurant owner Mammo, who has been our good friend for 30 years. Thanks for being an amazing host.

You know, I always admire people that have the discipline to be like, okay, everybody line up. You stand sideways. He does it every day. He's like, get in the photo. I can't do it. He makes them get in the photo every day. I can't do this. I can't do this. We brought out our Italian flair with our Dolce & Gabbana outfits for dinner tonight in Portofino, Italy.

I'm such the opposite. I can't wait to hide from people. I know. I don't tell anybody where I am. And they're both this happy. Look how happy she is, too. They love it. They're so joyful. I mean, that's such a joyful... I know. They're so innocent and sweet. That's the thing that's so interesting about it is you're like, well, what is it about this? It's that I don't see really anybody...

doing this and it's actually you have to have like a a level of not caring and you can't be self-conscious it's sweet and it's sincere it's very sincere i know i like that you know what i like it's like when um we had another fine dining experience at the grill restaurant

You know what it is? I'm telling you something. It's like when Joe Rogan takes pictures with people. You know what I like? He always smiles. He's never like too cool for school. Oh, sincerely, yes. Yeah, like when Joe is really that guy, and I like that. This is the magic and cookie thing of like this might be just how sweet he is. He always takes sincere photos. That's true. The scenic view from the restaurant was just as unbelievable as the food. Yeah.

I wish I were this normal. Don't you envy his normalcy? Yes. Like, I can't do this. I can't even get our kids together to just take a normal family photo. I can't do this. These are the same people that send out Christmas cards and shit. It's the Christmas card culture. And maybe because there's probably some people listening or watching being like, how is this? Because I also think that Christmas cards, you have to be really sincere. And I guess I'm just not.

Well, I also, I don't have a need to report stuff to people. I don't want to report to anyone. Yeah. Like I'm like, I don't, cause in my mind I'm like, well, what do you, the reaction you want to elicit is what? Like good, good vacation, magic and cookie or envy. Does he want us to be envious? Melissa had a great year. She got into gymnastics and she's doing fantastic in school. Oh, good. Nobody fucking cares about Melissa.

But I'd be afraid that I'd be inciting envy in people. Like, oh, you're on a fucking yacht, Magic. Right. I mean, there's nothing less relatable than a yacht tour. But I mean, people are like, you know. But I guess they're happy for Magic because they really love him. They know him. Yeah. Who's this dorky white couple on the end there?

I think that's, what is that? John and Vicky. Maybe John and Vicky. A couple of nerds. They don't look cool enough to be hanging out with us. Or John and Jordan. Do you think we could get invited to Magic and Cookies Yacht? Absolutely not. We'd have to take these nice photos and stuff and be nice, normal people. Yeah. You can't burp on the steps.

You cannot burp or fart at Magic's dinner party. It's a good goal to have, though. Have Magic Johnson invite you to vacation. Dude. Okay, if we could campaign now, maybe by next summer we could get the invite. Hi, Magic. How are you? Tommy Crustini. Big fan. Love the summer vibes. Looks like a lot of fun. We are available unless someone gets another diagnosis. Yeah.

next summer to go on a vacation with you. How dare you? And we'd be great guests. You know, we can crack up the staff. And...

We wouldn't last a minute. Going out to eat. I like going shopping and I'll work out with you in the morning and work out. Dude, we're not wholesome enough to kick it with magic and cookies. Oh, I was going to say before I forget, guys, because of this whole fucking cancer thing, I can't tour this year. Sorry. I should have mentioned that earlier. Yeah. It's just like, you know, I'll be doing a bunch of stuff to me to get rid of this shit. So yeah, I can't. I can't. Sorry. It'll be. I'll do it again once I'm recovered.

and up and running. But for the rest of the year, I can't go anywhere. I think I'm done. I think I'm done. Yeah. I understand. I'll be down. I'll be just around Austin. Do some spots in town? Yeah. I'll go down to Mothership when I'm up and running a little bit more. My tits are smaller. I'll do what I can. You do the small tit show. It's tiny tits. Yeah. Tiny tit cancers. Yeah. And again, don't send me, you got this, send me...

We can skull fuck this cancer to death. You tit fuck this titty cancer. Right. Maybe not the Hitler line. Why not? That wasn't so great. I don't know. We hate cancer like Hitler hates the Jews. I don't think that's something to encourage. The gypsies kill it like we kill the gypsies. Nope. I think I would leap over that one too. I think we're going to send this cancer back to the kitchen like every woman should be making dinner. What?

separate drinking fountains you're really into this racial segregation i think you make it more about the women yeah yeah put this tick cancer back in the kitchen yeah like yeah yeah yeah send this send this cancer back to where women's rights once was you know i can't wait for my feed to just be polluted with those kinds of positive messages yeah

Yeah, that's the kind of messaging I actually want. Beat this cancer the way a man used to be able to beat his wife. There you go. That's the kind of stuff I'm looking for. And they still can in a lot of Arab, Middle Eastern countries, some parts of Africa. Certainly there's some Asian countries where it's not frowned upon. Yeah, of course. And I got to say something. Women are well behaved in a lot of these places. They are rarely out of line. You know what I'm really into now on the TikTok is hijab talk.

where women, like Muslim women, scold other Muslim women for how they wear their hijab. Like, sister, if your hair is coming out of your hijab, it's not proper hijab. You should only have your face coming out and no lipstick. Like they police each other. I like that. That and like Muslim men on Muslim men podcasts talking about how their sisters are not doing their hijab. I didn't know Muslim men can't wear gold. That was new to me. I did not know that. Yeah. I did not know that. It's only for the women.

They're allowed to wear gold. Muslim men are not allowed to wear gold. Why? Is it feminine? Because it's like gay? Not at all. It has to do with this obviously archaic view that it does something to your... Bald? Yeah. Your... Fertility? Fertility, yeah.

Ooh, I wonder. It's a fertility thing. Like the metals near your nuts. Yeah, but you don't wear ball bracelets. Doesn't matter. That's so stupid. Doesn't matter. It's like, it's, you know, it's one of those things where it's like, it's in the book. No gold. Yeah. Can we do some talks? Do we have time for that? Yeah, sure. Of course. I wish you'd be a little enthusiastic. My name is Tara. Nice. Beautiful. She's hot, yeah. I'm living in Texas when I get out in it, so I'm just trying to meet some good people in

It would be cool to get to know some new people. So if you like, you can message me on J-Pay. My IDOC number is 127-429. If this is, if you're already out, I'm Tom. I live in Texas. And I would, what? I'm not gone yet. Well, you just, I mean. The prognosis is very good for my survival, Tom. Everybody has to prepare. It's like, I'm good. Everybody has to prepare. If you are in, I'll be sending you a message. I'd love to get to know Tara. I'm going to survive. Let's go to the next one.

Oh, this one. It's a guy eating a fork full of sand. Why? Because he can. A little afternoon snack. And then he did like a laughy face emoji. Why is that funny? It's not funny. But it's probably got to have some nutritional value. Sand? All that sea stuff. Nope. I love sea salt. No, I'm trying. I'm just trying to stand up for it. Ground beef in a bag. A little bit of salt.

A little bit of sauce that you enjoy. Eating on the run has never been so easy. Look, give it a squeeze, out it comes. Look kind of nasty, I know. It's actually really good.

I want you to start doing this. You know what you need to do? I know you're on a fitness kick. Put some ground meat in a bag. Hey, when you fly, you can fly with coconuts, all your coconuts for your coconut water, and then your meat in a bag. I'll just bring you some meat in a bag. Could you imagine doing this? No. How much time is he saving by eating meat in a bag? You can't just sit down and eat. She's giving you a life hack, man. I thought he was going to save someone's life.

I thought somebody was like, I'm drowning. And he was like, let me, no, you went too far. No, he's just trying to stay alive. So that's in India somewhere in a river. People are drifting, drifting by real fast.

You just gotta hold on to this chain. You can't out swim that current for sure. Oh, you're fucking dead. How are they surviving? I don't know. Dude, India is really rough. Can be. You really gotta survive. You gotta be a survivor to live there. What's up? My name's Chelsea Jones. I'm in prison in Idaho at SICI.

Look at those beautiful ocean eyes.

Those Billie Eilish ocean eyes. Beautiful. And how did she get the music to play on that track? I'm going to guess that somebody laid that on top. Someone laid it on. She looks great for being in prison. What is this, you think? And how are they doing their makeup? Because I don't think they're allowed to have any. I think they just, they're very resourceful. She looks great. That's the carrots that we had today. You got to grind up the carrots.

You grind up the high C or the fucking Kool-Aid and you use it as lipstick. I mean, two really beautiful and they're definitely dangerous people. Smoke shows. Yeah. Hold on. There's no world in which you would date those two broads? I mean, no world? Not knowingly, no. I mean, I might meet somebody and be like, oh, yeah. And then you go, wait a minute, you've been in what? Yeah, they're sneaky. Okay. Right on the cooch, too.

This is anal releasing. Yeah. There's two parts of this that are kind of impressive. One is just to physically be able to do what both are doing. Yeah. And then the other is that the one's foot is in the other one's vagina and anus. Mm hmm.

Or it could be in between the vag and the anus. But you're feeling that up inside. You're feeling it, and it's feeling great. It's stretching. I think it feels like a relief. This feels amazing, I bet. I don't think I need to be balanced in the air because it's scary. Like if I could just sit down and have someone put their foot in between my vagina and my anus and really give that good stretch, don't you think that would feel so much better? Yeah. It'd be great. Yeah. I think it could probably be arranged. And he loves these the best. Meow. Meow. Meow. Meow.

Meow. The real question is, meow. Who's this for, guys or girls? Who do you think? Guys. Yeah. But he has a pink bow. Oh, he's like doing the sissy cat? There's somebody out there who's like, fucking A, man. He looks so hot right now. Yeah. Yeah. That's the craziest part. Someone's dick is extra hard. For sure. He's like, I'm fucking rock hard watching him do this milk shit. Yeah.

Isn't that crazy that that for sure is true? Yeah. That somebody's fucking fired up. Wait, what did you tell me today? You do another fucking milk bowl video. I love these. Remember today you were like, because we've been sending each other videos of dudes who don't know they're on TikTok, like old men. Oh, yeah. How'd they go? Like...

And then they post it. Yeah. What did you say the caption was? Or one of the comments was like, I've been working. Oh yeah. I built this algorithm brick by brick. Yeah. Like to have the good fortune of people celebrate. There's a whole group that have found these weird ones and they're like, this is mine. That's how I feel. I've been here. I've been here. And that's why I get this because I've been doing the work.

of following fucked up accounts. Maniacs. Me too. That's how I feel when I find these little nuggets. Like it's such a source of pride and joy for me. Yeah. Like honestly, this whole thing of being, you know, like having to deal with my health stuff, like the constant joy in my life is finding these awful TikToks and you guys send them to me on my DMs. I appreciate them. A lot of them come from you. So continue to send, send them to me. If you want to do something to help, that's what helps me is sending me this fucked up. And send a message. You got this mama. Yeah.

We're going to kick cancer's butt. Ugh. What? Nice! All good. You all good? All good. A little shoulder? I think I dislocated my shoulder or something. But I'm okay. Okay. Whoa. Shoulder's definitely dislocated. Dude's a fucking athlete, too. This guy's an athlete, but... He definitely... That is nuts. Do it again. That's good, right? I watched this one a few times. I know, but it's like...

These fucking guys man. I know parkour shit The head smack against the horse that is for me the word is fuck dude Yeah, that's his fucking face against concrete

After doing a flip. And he did it voluntarily. That's the dumbest part. Yeah, no, this wasn't like I was walking along. No, no. Stupid. I'm going to jump over this canal and flip. Oh, never mind. God damn, dude. Crazy. That was good, huh? Yeah. We were riding a ride. This isn't supposed to be upside down like this. It's been like that for like already two to three minutes. I feel bad for them. Everyone knows.

All the power is shut off on it too right now. This is scary. Alright, update. They're still up there. It's been about five minutes, maybe a little bit more. And they've just been hanging up there this whole time.

We just asked the lady at the bottom of the Ferris wheel if this has ever happened before, and she said no, and she said she's actually concerned for them. Oh, they just said the park is closed. This was a serious thing. You know, eventually, enough time like this, you have a heart attack, right? You go into cardiac arrest. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, it takes a while, but eventually you will. I wonder how long they were up there. They were up there a while. I remember when the story broke.

I mean, if you're at the park and you see that, why do you go on the Ferris wheel after? You know what I mean? I'd be like, we're leaving. 30 riders were rescued. Oh, no. Almost 30 people were rescued and medically evaluated after being stuck hanging upside down in Portland. The Atmosphere ride at Oaks Amusement Park stopped at the apex position while operating in the 360-degree setting, suspending 28 riders upside down.

Portland Fire and Rescue responded around 3.15 local time after the ride got stuck. Portland Fire is en route. Multiple riders thought she would never see her family again while she hopped on the ride. Jordan Harding was 18. At first I was like freaking out. Then I was like, it's fine. I thought we'd come down in 10 seconds, 15 seconds, whatever. She said 20 seconds turned into three minutes. Then riders started to panic, scream and call for help.

What I was thinking is just like, I'm never going to see my dad again. I'm never going to see my brother again. I have so much life left to live. I'm going to die like this. Um, Portland fire said it worked with park engineers to lower the ride manually, but also prepared the high angle rope rescue team to affect rescues with the ride stuck as if they aren't, um,

unable to make it a lower the ride the ride was mainly lowered around 3 24 p.m oh it's a half hour up there yeah the writers were then evacuated medically evaluated one rider was transported to the hospital for further evaluation um yeah i was crying not of joy not of anything i was just crying i was more happy i was alive um jesus

They should have been like, hey, if you guys want to come back tomorrow, it's on the house. That is probably what they do. So go back again to the top. Yeah. Three. Oh, yeah. Fuck. Yeah. That's pretty crazy. That would suck. God damn, dude. Oh, it's a nightmare. All right. Here's one more, Jean. Yeah.

It was so fast. This one was such a quick and dirty. Can we hear it again? Clean one. Those people just listening. It's a guy like a tire shop. It's a jack to jack a tire up the car up and he's asshole lands right on the pole. The pole. Yeah. Did it go in his little bit? Sure. A little bit. Yeah.

Not all the way in, unfortunately, but it's also metal and it's not designed for his asshole. So I'm sure it wasn't, it wasn't as smooth as it could be, you know? Yeah. Yeah. Okay.

Well, there you go, Jean. Oh, boy. What a life. What a nap. This right here is designed for the asshole. Oh, it's dusty. Yeah. Oh, no one's been using it, thankfully. We have the fart mic up here, too. Yeah. Which is really cool. Real treasures up here. Anyways, anywhoes, there you go, Jean's.

Yeah. Thanks for, you know, watching and supporting us all these years. And look, I'll keep you updated because I know like I've listened to shows where someone gets sick and like, I hate when they don't talk about it. Yeah. It's like, dude, you know, a lot of people are emotionally invested. You've said this, you've said that you want to keep people informed. Yeah. I hate that. Like I've loved so many shows and you know, you hear something and then you never hear again, but I will keep you guys updated again. Highly treatable, very early. I was

I talked to Dr. Drew, which is when I heard I called Drew and he's like, don't worry, it's going to be fine. So all good so far and we'll just take it as it comes, I guess. And if you still have time, if you want to go big instead of small on those tits, don't forget that. You still have time to change the order. Okay. You can make them super, super big, which I think would make everybody really, really happy. Okay. All right. I think it's kind of,

Maybe think about some other people on this one. Okay. Thank you. All right. Thanks, guys. We'll see you next week. Bye. This is my struggle. I can't run through the fence. Can't you just run?

Morning Queen, have a good day.