[Patreon Preview] Ep 38.5: Pineapple Butter
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We're back, baby. Woo! Oh, we in it? We're rolling. All right, we're rolling, baby. Keep them doggies going. We're high. These drinks are killing me, dude. I know. Oh, man. Oh, man. Mark, you have a fan here who just thanked you for doing this podcast by sending you...

A Lagavulin 16. This is no joke. This is a great bottle. Maybe one of the best scotches on the planet. Thank you, Jared at, is it Meet Jerry Podcast? Get Jerry on. Get Jerry on. Okay, so this is part of the bar now. Wow. That is high-end stuff right there. Petey as hell. Smoky, good scotch. So Petey. Love it. Pete Best. Amy Schumer would have that shit in the dressing room.

Oh, you got that right. Oh, that's where I fell in love with this 16 year old girl. Oh my God, Mark, look at this.

We got some New Orleans beer koozies for you. Oh, wow. I love Jesus. New Orleans is for livers. That's clever. Swamp ass, that's fun. Who sent that? Give a shout out to the proprietor there. This is from Dirty Coast Press from New Orleans. Oh, they make hats and stuff. This guy's awesome. Thank you, Dirty Coast. A lot of New Orleans stuff. Look at all this NOLA stuff. You might want to take some of this home.

Yeah, yeah, we just had Ida. Parents are fine. They still have no power, by the way. Oh, no. How are they doing? Appropriating the Amish. They're playing Scrabble and reading by the fire. They're candlelit. Damn. It's funny how no power is romantic. We're lit, too, but we got power still. You got that right. No power is romantic. Yeah, it's like horse and buggy, candlelight.

fireplace. I don't know who the hell sent us this. Tutu's Pantry. Is that a candle? Pineapple butter, Maui onion chili pepper jelly. Holy shit. Hold on. Let's get the matches in here. You got a lighter there? I don't think it's a candle. This looks like jelly, dude. Oh, even worse. Oh, shit. You're not joking. Ooh, this is badass. The Waldorf Restoria bar book. What? What?

this is this is a part of the bar wow we got a fucking bar here man what do you say hell yeah the waldorf astoria bar book what are we supposed to do with this pineapple butter this is from maui by the way i don't know let's get some toast we'll get some let's get some toast in studio and have it before we drink so we're not always so fucked up i heard i was watching a bourdain episode the other day and there was a great quote where he said uh

One of his friends, he's in London. One of his friends, they're drinking and eating around the table. And he goes, there's an old quote, no one ever got old around the dinner table. Oh.

Isn't that great? The great equalizer. The great leveler. The dinner table. Also, you don't get old if you kill yourself. You know what, Matt? We were trying not to go there. Oh, sorry. Hemingway. Chocolate soldier. Plymouth gin or Nicholson London dry gin. Bonal quinqueca aperitif or doubonnet. I don't know what that is. And half an ounce fresh lime juice. A chocolate soldier. Ooh, I like that. Good porn. Oh!

- All right, wow, thank you. - These sound good. A Charlie Chaplin, a one ounce Rothman and Winter Orchard Apricot Liqueur, one ounce Plymouth Aloe Gin, and one ounce fresh lime juice. - Yes. - Have you heard of that? - No, but I love it, it sounds great. By the way, Charlie Chaplin, not American, not Jewish. No, he is Jewish, not American. - I don't think he's Jewish. - Where is he? I don't think he's Jewish either. Where is he from? - England. - He's English. - Married a 14 year old. - Yeah, would you?

Yes. No, I wouldn't know. That's brutal. That's too young. Imagine that conversation. But he was young at heart. Oh my God, can you imagine how boring a 14-year-old would be? Ugh. Yeah. Yeah, Jesus. I mean, I don't want to hang out with a 14-year-old otherwise. Exactly. Do you think I want to fucking marry a 14-year-old? Oh my God, and they're not attractive sexually? They're going through puberty? Ew. Ew. I mean, that isn't even hot. 14 is too young to be hot, even.

Like, go 18, 19. I get it. It's still creepy. I'm even going to go. I get it. I get it. It's funny. I was watching Manhattan again not too long ago. Woody Allen. I mean, look, it's a great movie. But at the end of that, I was talking to my buddy Ron on Hirshberg. And he was like, dude, that movie is like a romantic comedy for pedophiles. He said, like, basically the only thing is, like, I wasn't mature enough to make it work with a child. That's the takeaway from the movie. Like, damn, that's a pretty damn good point. I think it won an Oscar.

It must have won something. I think it won Best Picture. It's gorgeous. It's a gorgeous movie. Are you taking a sip of that? I'm taking a little piece of butter here. I want to see what pineapple butter is all about. I dipped the donut in it, but the donut was too overpowering. But very buttery. Join the Patreon right now at patreon.com slash we might be drunk. You get emails. Tell us your wrecks, your jokes, your drinks. We'll open boxes. You're missing out, folks. All the good stuff's on the Patreon. Tell a friend.