Ep 209: Hasan Minhaj
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Hey, hey, we're here. We're back. Look at Winnie in the holiday fair. I had to, you know, she's been a big part of the pod. I got to drop some money on her, man. That's nice. What is that, Gucci? It's Fendi. Oh, I'm a Fendi about that price. Jesus. Yeah, dude, she's doing some big shit in L.A. She's able to stop in occasionally now.

Very good, yeah. She's having a Betty White type resurgence. And she outlived her. Hey! Happy holidays. Hey, get in there. Sally brought, don't tell me you brought a cookie, you sick fuck. I just did Seth Meyers. They give me amazing experience, great show, but they give you the bag of the Levain cookies. Ah, the Levain cookies.

And then I was going to not take him, but I saw Ted Danson take him. I'm like, who am I to not take him? If he's taking him, you've got to take him. You've got to take him. How is Ted? Is he 6'8"? What is he? He's tall. He looks suave as fuck. Wow. His tailored suit looked great. We were just talking about the making of one coffee a day pregnant. Yeah, yeah. That's rough. No one talks about that. Everybody knows, hey, no booze, no drugs, no smoking, but...

No sushi, no cold cuts, no oysters. You can't take Pepto-Bismol. You can't even have. It's crazy the amount of shit. No Pepto. How about like a peppermint pill? Could you do that?

Probably. No Pepto. I took it yesterday. You live on Pepto. I took it this morning. Exactly. I take it every fucking day. That's your spinach. I'm a piece of shit. You're Popeye. But yeah, she, no one talks about all the other stuff and you'll be like, oh, we're doing shrooms tonight. Here you go. Oh, shrooms. Yeah. Yeah. Like everything. Yeah. I would advise against that one. I didn't know what's natural. I know, but that one seemed like a layup. That's true. That's true. You can't do acid on shrooms. This is fucking crazy. Well,

Well, essence is a chemical. It's in the Bible. This is shroom. I know, but I would have assumed psychedelics. Is shrooms a psychedelic? It is, yeah. Okay. Well, yeah, you probably shouldn't do it. Psilocybin. Imagine that baby in there. Like, whoa, it's like a planetarium. All of a sudden, you got Orion's belt up your ass. He's in there like, oh, my God, it's crazy. I'm going to come out of that thing. I was jizz, man. I was in my dad's balls.

That's crazy. I want to hear about this gig you did with... Woo! Okay, so it's, first off, Big Jer. Yeah. Who else? Springsteen? Springsteen closed. Okay. Jerry, Springsteen, Stewart, Gaffigan, Nora Jones. Wow. And Questlove. Damn. If that tickles your taint. Oh, he's great. I love him. Yeah.

But Bob Woodruff, stand up for heroes. Shout out to him. He makes all this money for these vets. I mean, this guy's in the front row with no legs. Wow. Probably shouldn't have said that joke's got legs, unlike him. Oh. No, I didn't say that. But it ran through the head. Yeah. Two years ago, I would have. But don't forget Larry on Saturday. Yeah. That was Monday. Oh, my gosh. What a week. You spent time with both guys.

Creators of Seinfeld. Exactly. It can't get... I mean, that's like comedy fucking Camp 101. Yes. Make-A-Wish, baby. Well, I got to tell you about the Larry thing. Yeah. He didn't look happy in the picture. He was miserable. I was miserable. It was bad. It was like a hostage situation. Damn it. I'd rather be waterboarded than go through that again. Because he knew his agent was like, this guy...

This is like a thing he would hate. Yes. This is like a curb. It's a curb app. Like he has to shake your hand and take a photo. Exactly. And in the curb app, you'd be played by someone. You'd be played by Alex Edelman or something. Yeah, yeah, exactly. So just long story short, I'm doing the Chicago Theater. He goes...

Berkowitz goes, hey, Larry wants to do it that night. Can he have the 5 o'clock slot? You move your show from 7 to 8 just to give a little more breathing room. And I said, no problem, but I get to meet him. And he said, yeah, no problem. That's easy. This is my agent, by the way. Yes. And this is like, you know, he's a bulldog, but I can imagine he did not enjoy delivering this news to Larry David. I can imagine, too, because I don't think he ever did. Larry was in the dark. He didn't know about it? That's why this was so awkward. That's why he's a good agent. Ah!

He just made it happen. So here's the rundown. So Larry, his guy, I'm not going to say his name, but he's on WME. He's on your team. He's Larry's point man. Okay. I'm not going to say his name because I'm about to fuck this guy right in the ass. I know who it is already. Okay. I think.

So I'm in Chicago. Me and DeVito are out at a lunch spot having coffee, talking comedy. We're having a great time. Anthony DeVito, look him up. One of the best. One of the best. So funny. So funny. And just walking around that downtown Chicago. We're in Kalamazoo the night before. No offense. So it was like quite an upgrade. The river going through the Lake Michigan. That would be funny if someone in Kalamazoo is like, what? What?

Chicago's... They don't know? They're like, Kalamazoo is fucking cool, dude. Yeah, yeah. The theater wasn't bad, but as a town, it's... No, Chicago is top five in the States. Chicago is... Easily. You got the water. It's fucking...

I love New York, but it's affordable. Yeah, yeah, true, true. It's gorgeous. The architecture is insane. The food is great. It's a top-tier city through and through. Millennial Mile, the park, the bean. And I'm a Ferris Bueller nut, so I'm just going, oh, yeah. Twist and shove. Yeah, so...

And Larry's guy's hitting me up, and he's going, hey, the show's at 5. You might want to come early, meet him before the show. And I go, oh, well, we're out at lunch. I still got to go shower. I was planning on coming to the show. They're already fucking you. Exactly. And he's like, well, he's going to want to leave right after his show. And I'm like, what?

I'm out. They told me after, so I had planned on after, and now you're trying to switch it up on me. He's like, you might not be able to do it after. I'd come before. And I'm like, I'll never make it. I got to go home and shower and get my outfit on and the whole thing. This is fucked up. It's fucked up.

So I'm like, I put my foot down. I call him. I'm like, hey, hey, fuck you. We agreed to this. I moved on. Well, I'm texting. I'm like, hey, we agreed to this. And he's like, all right, all right, we'll see. Give me the we'll see. And I'm like, what was all this? What was all the agreement? This is fucking Peeve City all over it. So his show's at 5. So I show up at 5.30 because I want to see the show.

He's doing an evening with Larry David. It's him and Susie Essman on stage. It was really funny. Oh, that's cool. Super cool. Q&A. Larry's up on his feet telling stories. One guy goes, Larry, did you keep anything from the Seinfeld set? And he was like, yeah, I kept some stuff from the diner. And he goes, no, that's boring. Give me some real dirt. And Larry goes, boring? Fuck you.

Fuck you. And he's up on his feet. You call me boring? You know, he does that whole thing. And it was great. And then after the show, they whisk Larry off into the green room. And I'm like, this is it. So Larry's guy comes and grabs me. And he goes, let's do it. And he looks annoyed at me. Like, let's get this over with. And I'm like, why am I the bad guy? But whatever. So we get to Larry's green room. Did he have any idea who you were? No idea. So he didn't know you were doing the show after him? Nothing. You could just be some dipshit.

Roaming the halls. Yes, exactly. And I got that weird thing on my arm. He probably thought I had cancer or something, and I just got a blood infusion because that was from the IVs. That's why I travel with Vitor. People are like, he might have cancer. He's bald. He's bald. He's got the thin eyebrows. It couldn't be good.

So Larry's in the green room, that green room with like 12 people, old people, his daughter's in there. He's got family in there. They're all like, great show. Good to see you. And he's like, I haven't seen you since New York City in 1971. He's talking to all these people. Fuck. And his point guy is looking at me. I'm sitting outside the green room like this. And he goes, we got to do it now. We got to do it now. If we don't do it now, it'll never happen. Like Secret Service. They're like, the eagle is landing. Yes, yes.

Exactly. Meanwhile, I'm picturing, I'm in my hotel room showering, like, me and Larry are going to talk about stand-up. We're going to talk about opening for Jerry. We're going to talk about the Dodgers. We're going to talk about New York. I'm going to talk about the show. He's going to get me in a headlock. He's going to noogie me. We're going to kiss. I have all these fantasies. I thought about asking for a guest set. Like, what kind of crazy world am I living in? He stays for your show. He's like, I should bring back Curb. This guy could be my new wacky neighbor. Yes! I fuck his daughter. I thought all kinds of stuff was going to happen. So...

I'm outside the green room and he's like, let's do it now. And I'm like, give him a minute. He's talking to some old guy, their old friend. Give him a minute. And he's like, it's now or never. And I'm like, all right, fine. And this pimple, this twerp, he goes, hey, Larry, sorry to interrupt. This guy wants to meet you. And Larry's like, uh, okay. And I just come in. This guy is rough.

How about he's doing the show next to you after you, it's sold out. How about he's a stand-up comedian? How about he opens for Jerry? How about he moved his time for you? Give me some context, you queef.

You killed me. This is rough. And did you see the agent afterwards? Was he in there? Who? The guy who fucked you over. He was the one going, we got to do it now. That's him. Oh, I thought it was just a security guy. Okay. Oh, no, no. This is his point guy, his assistant or whatever you want to call it, his representation. That's rough. So Larry's like, okay, he just stood there, no handshake. And I go, I had all these things to say. I froze because I felt so uncomfortable. I went blank and I go-

great show. And he goes, yeah. And they took the photo and I got, I left. And DeVito was like, woo, that was brutal. DeVito thought he would meet him too. I mean, we thought this would be a lot more casual and, and, and, and fun. Damn. You got to text my agent. I'll,

I'm going to let him know. I hope he hears. Send him this clip. Send it to him. Because that kid fucked me right in the ass. Larry had no idea. He thought my dad owned the theater or something, I assume. And I went back to my green room and shed a tear. The difference in expression is beautiful. Like, look at Mark. He's still trying. He's like, maybe I could fake my way through the picture. Yeah. Give him the little finger bang. Larry just looks like he ate, like, something sour. Ha ha ha.

Like he had some expired milk or something. He's just like... He had no idea what that was. And the whole thing lasted about four seconds. Photo got out and he was like... The agent guy was like, all right, see you later. We did it. And I was like, you fucking chooch. I think in the Curbed episode, you're Larry.

No. I need a signed contract for a handshake. I got to meet. This is a very Larry thing to do. No, but Larry's the guy who's there. There's like the episodes where Larry has to write the recommendation. Like Larry's the guy who's always he's put out. He's put out.

Okay, so Larry's not being put out here. No, he's hanging out with people I haven't seen in years and some guy he doesn't know. Right, right. I mean, this could be a curb, but from someone else's perspective. Yeah, exactly. Damn. I got to tell you, it ruined my set a little bit because I was so in my head about it. But whatever, we got the photo. When he dies, I'll change the story. I'll be like, we had a great time.

And I opened for him and all that. So then... That's what... DeVito's dad was whacked by the mob, and he's like, that's the worst thing I've ever seen. That's true. Yeah, DeVito wanted to meet him, too. I mean, we thought it was going to be like an easygoing, like, hey, Larry, nice to meet you. Great show. We're on After You. Big fan, yada, yada. That's a good picture. Look at that. Jerry's looking serious, too. Oh, yeah. These guys are getting old. Did you tell Jerry? I told him I met him, and I didn't unload the whole thing on him, because...

We were like in the wings. Are they still close or not? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. They talk all the time and he loves Larry. Then the next curb is like Mark then meets him again, has to pretend he never met him. And Larry's like, where do I know you from? Yes. That's the next. I met him at Schumer's wedding. I was going to bring that up. I mean, I had so many things to go to and it all went to hell. Damn. You have all these reference points.

Yeah, it just shows you reality is unbeatable. You have all this fantasy in your head, but reality is what reality is, and it's not going to change. Yeah. You can't beat it. Sorry, dude. But... But you know what? Here's the thing about being a comic. Even when something like that happens, you get a story. I got a story out of it, totally. That's the beautiful thing. You either meet your hero and you have a great time...

Or you get a story. Yes. And at least Larry is still cool in my eyes. The other guy I hate. It's not like, oh, you can't meet your heroes. No, no, you can't meet their agents. That's the takeaway. They take 10% of your money and 90% of your joy. Yes! You're all right. You're all right. So tell me, how was his benefit with Jerry and Gaffigan and all these guys? Jon Stewart. Jon Stewart. So I text...

The cues, the mole, the gorilla, this guy can just slide in anywhere. He's a slippery minx, this fucker. That's a good one. That's a great one. You threw on the suit. I had to. That's a nice one. Gaffigan fucked me on this one.

What'd he do? This was a 180 compared to the Larry D. This was an amazing night. Everything was awesome. How did Gaffigan fuck you? Gaffigan, I texted him at noon the day of, and I go, what do we wear to this? It's kind of formal. It's at Lincoln Center. And he goes, oh, go suit, no tie. That's the move. And I go, oh, all right. He's like, that's what I'm wearing. I show up. He's dressed like Kim Jong-un. And he's got sweatpants on, like a loose zipper jacket. And he was like, yeah, I had a change of heart. And I was like, you fucked me. Change of heart? I'm wearing a mustache.

No, you look good. Hey, thanks. But those shoes are so uncomfortable. Mark was leaving the place and he was like, damn it, Jim Jong-un. He came up in the line way after on the walk home. Well, one of the great moments of the night is Seinfeld's like, we were making fun of Jim's outfit. We're like, who does he, what is he? And I was like, maybe a cult leader. And he's like, yeah, that's not bad. I go, a valet, yeah. And then...

Right as the night's about to end, Jerry goes, Korean dictator. And I was like, that's it. That's it. We had a great moment. And then I thought of on the subway home, Jim Jong-un. I like Norman's brain scanning. He's like messy Plemons. Uh,

That's pretty good. That's pretty good. Bessie Plemons is big. All right. Okay. Yeah, Stewart looking cool. I wouldn't expect him to rock like a cool suede look. Well, here's the irony of Stewart. He did the Daily Show that night in a suit, took the suit off to come to this. Yeah. So I'm like, I didn't know we could do that. Oh.

I would have worn my Hooters shirt. Oh, that looks great. That's accused. So where was the show? Lincoln Center. Sold out. Beautiful theater. State of the art. And got the green room with Jerry, with Jim. And we just had a great time. What the hell are these pictures you have in your messages? I just saw a guy's pant line in there. That was Ronnie Chang. Oh, okay. I was looking for a photo of that Santa Mart. All right. You have a hot set on there?

The crowd wasn't great. I did pretty good considering two guys. I'm not going to say who. No who. There's only four guys. Well, you got to still figure it out. But I'm not saying who. I know who killed. Seinfeld crushed. I know it's going to be my guess. Bleep that. Don't say it. Two guys struggled. Did you go bullet? Of course. Fucking Nora Jones is supposed to go first because she's doing a piano piece. And then she goes, I don't want to go first. So they were like.

Hey, hey, Dickless. Do you really want to follow Nora Jones anyway? Yeah, I guess you're right. Following music is tough. She killed, too. She was like a tear, not a dry eye in the house. She's talented. Very talented, very attractive. Would you? Would I? Yeah. Well, I'd fuck Jon Stewart. But I talked to Stewart about Tony Hinchcliffe. I got some great time with Stewart. He's a cool guy. Great guy. Nice guy. Very cool. I don't think...

our generation may not know like what a killer standup he was. Yeah. He had some funny shit back in the day. Oh, totally. But you know what it was? It's a, it's a room full of vets and rich elites. So it was kind of like liberal, uh, right wing split. So he went and write it on the election. Cause this is two weeks ago. And people are just like enough with the, we don't, we don't want to do this right now. My legs blown off. You're shitting on my guy or shitting on my gal. That would be the best heckle.

Dude, my leg's blown off. Come on. You just freeze. Ah, fuck. Yeah. This is us going, hey, you hired Tony. You got to get Tony. I'm like, ah, you got Tony Hitchcliffe. And John's like, that's what I'm saying. Yeah. And it's Justin Theroux. Those big gigs, man. Yeah, when you do those big gigs, like, of course, Mark and I, like, we're the small guys. We're the young guys. Of course. I went bullet on Garden of Dreams, and I remember being like,

just fucking bring the heat. Yeah. Set the tone. I remember Greg Giroldi used to do those roasts. He always went first. And it's like, set the tone. Yeah, that's true. Do what you can do. It's a bit of a compliment because you're reliable, too. You're the new guy but reliable. Yeah. I think. They're not going to put a...

You know, just any Joe Schmo up first. And then they brought you all out on stage in the end, right? Did you riff with them? I saw mics. I did. Now, you want to play the video? Oh, yeah. So this was, I'm just watching Bruce, I'm watching Seinfeld. Like, hey, how cool is this? Seinfeld killed. And he has some great stuff. I'll tell you later. I don't want to spill his material. But then they go, here's your cordless mic. And I go, what's this for? I'm done. And they go, we're going to put you all out there together so we can flip the room or flip the... Did you start drinking already? Yeah.

A little, yeah. I know the feeling. But I am so out of place. I should not be on stage with these guys. These are all legends. They're all 65 plus. You're a fucking young legend. I'm sure they loved you out there with them, man. Come on. They did. Well, it's a tough thing because you're like, do I say something or do I not say something? If you don't say something, you're like the quiet weirdo. But if you do

say something if you're like, why aren't you talking? The tough thing is when you wait too long and then they're like, oh, there you are. Yes, yes. So Jon Stewart luckily referenced me. He goes, we're a boy band now and this is our newest member. And that got a little pop. And I was like, this is my chance. Hit it. So we're a boy band.

I love it. Perfect. All right.

So that was a Jon Stewart referencing. We have the same system. We held up a paddle because they did an auction right before that. So it was like a callback to the auction. We hold up a paddle and fuck him or whatever. That's amazing, dude. But I got a line in and I got out. That is beautiful. Terrifying. Terrifying. But what a night and a complete 180 from the Larry thing because all it was was backstage. The set was secondary. Just hanging out with Jerry and Gaffigan and Stewart. Good times. And then watching Bruce was pretty. That was a treat. That is pretty. Killed it. Never seen him live.

I mean, the voice was great. Hey, little little buddy, who the hell are you? Oh, my God. Don't judge based on this. It was really good. Also, he told jokes in between songs. He told three street jokes. Yeah. Two miscarriage jokes and...

What about Gaza? It was kind of weird. There was one point we were all watching Bruce and we're zinging and zanging to each other and Seinfeld goes, we should probably watch this, right? And I was like, oh yeah, good point. But it was so much fun bullshit with the comics that we're like, Bruce Springsteen's on stage, we should listen. Oh, that's pretty cool, man. And then Seinfeld goes, what are you doing tomorrow? I go, I got a couple podcasts, I got to do some writing. I go, what are you going to do? He goes...

I'm going to sleep in and watch the Red Sox doc on Netflix. And you're like, oh, man, this guy's just a normal guy. Yeah. As a Mets fan, you can watch that as a Yankee fan. That fucking hurt.

Oh, yeah, that's true. But I'm sure the doc is cool. You know, in Japan, they watched, like, we watched the World Series, but in Japan it was like times eight. They love baseball so much because of that Otani guy. Well, yeah, they have other great players. I mean, fuck. Isn't Ichiro Japanese? Oh, yeah. I mean, he was the guy. I thought they were the same person. All right. But, yeah. Oh, I got to tell you, I did Seth Meyers. Yes! What a week! We drank the whiskey together. Ah, political!

Pano is so much easier. Is it really? Oh my God. Cause like your follow, I followed like the kid from Cobra Kai. So it's like, so it's like he's charming as hell, but it's like, it's a different gear. Wow. We got a Jew and then jujitsu. Yeah. Look at that. Yeah. It's probably on YouTube. Oh, okay. You can just get the beginning of me being like, he tried bodega cat. He loved it. He was like, I bought an, uh, a mostly drank bottle, which I thought was kind of fun.

Oh, wow. Yeah, he was a cool fucker. Hey, there it is. His latest special, You've Changed, is streaming on Prime Media. You can see him live next year on the Errors Tour. Tickets are available through samoreal.com. Please go over to the show. Samoreal, everybody. Hey, here we go. Look at him. Yeah, this is all important. Me walking. Look at him. Good outfit. Handsome devil, yeah.

I'll say I saw Seth Meyers perform at the Beacon. He's got jokes. He's fucking funny, dude. Great writer. And he's like page to stage. He's not like a guy who likes... I do shit in a lot of comics who don't do the road hard, but he actually... Maybe it's because he was like an SNL writer guy, but he just has jokes. Yeah, he loves jokes and he pumps them out. Here it is with the new bottle and everything. Wow! Being called Bodega Cat.

Right in there. That's fantastic. I think we have a couple glasses here. Good dude. It was full when I brought it, by the way. Your interns are crazy. I will say this is the first time someone's held up a bottle that is this empty. How many years have you had it? It's been a few years. And was this because you were drinking it anyway? Nice cups. Yeah. Yeah, it's just cool. No ice. And this is like, it's called Bodega Cac. For you. It's like a city whiskey. This is a great drink in the city. You can just cab.

home. I was leaving my friend's house at 6 a.m. the other night. I was hammered. I hail a cab and I'm stumbling and the driver sees me and he just goes, LaGuardia? And I don't have any luggage. I'm stumbling. But I was so bombed. I was just like, yeah. So he starts driving me to the airport and I'm just, I'm gone. And I start sobering up like halfway through and I was like, whoa, whoa, whoa.

JFK. That's a great joke. Yeah, yeah. We were leaving Michael Che's place that night at like 5 or 6 a.m. We were wasted. He poured us Blue Label. Yes. And I said to him, I was like, you're wasting this shit on us because we are shit-faced. That's right. We would drink gasoline right now. Yeah.

And I think I was so drunk, I was boxing you out in the hallway. We were fucking doing dude shit. Yeah, yeah. Drunk as hell. And we split ways, and that's when I got in the cab, and the guy fucking drove me to LaGuardia. That's amazing. But yeah, you want to get to the jokes immediately. Of course. Tell me about the producer, because I've never done the couch. Are they up your ass? Like, that story sucks. That's too blue. No, they're cool. Pretty much everything, they were like, just say whatever. We'll bleep it or we'll cut it. Wow.

Cut it. I don't want to use it. I only got like six, seven minutes. Right. But I said, I had one comment where they pulled up an old picture of me on America's Got Talent. I had like curly bangs and I was like, ugh, look at me. I fucking look like Julius Caesar's hipster younger brother with AIDS. And they were like, I just got an email after the show. Great segment. Just a heads up. We cut AIDS. Ah!

That's all the emails. What an email. But they were cool as hell. And no, the producer's great. They were like, just tell us stories. I had a couple of news stories I want to tell, but I'm like, yeah, they're not ready to... You want endings. Yeah. No, I think that's a perfect story because it went with the booze. It's a drunk story. It's perfect. And also, AGT is good because it's on NBC and shit. Oh, yeah. I was like, I'll just do that. Is this the first time you ever did one of these shows without doing stand-up first?

Yeah, I did Letterman. No, I did Daily Show a while back when Trevor was hosting. And then I did the Letterman Netflix thing, but I did stand-up before. But the show is to be on the couch. So it wasn't like back in the day where you do a Dangerfield thing and then a quick thing on the couch. It was a longer time on the couch than stand-up. And it was way more fun doing couch because you're like...

there's lower pressure. You kind of, cause you have moments where you're like, Oh, I could riff with Letterman. Right, right. There's less pressure.

That's true, man. That looks fun. Now I want to do it. You will do it. I'm sure you could do it whenever. Well, I tried Fallon. No dice. But Seth Meyers seems more laid back and chill. He knows that I've done shows with people. You know when you do a podcast with someone, you're like, they're just not, you're doing someone's, you're a guest on someone's podcast, they just don't set you up. Yes. They're just like, just go. And you're like, all right. And Fallon makes you do karaoke and ping pong with Snooki. I'd rather. Well, he wouldn't make you do that. Yeah.

No one wants to see you do that shit. They want to see Katy Perry do that. Yeah, that's true. I can do beer pong. That would be fucking fun. Hey. Can you beat Fallon, though, is the question? No, he's a booze bag. He would bury me. But, you know, those shows are like... Also, in those shows, you're usually following... I don't know. You're following someone who's not a comic. Of course. Cobra Kai. But stand-up on those shows is like...

Every word's got to count. That's true. Like panel, you can kind of build to something. Right. And you can play off them a little too. Yeah, and it's so much more conversational. Stand up, you walk out, and there's been no stand up, and you're like, so I was in a cab the other day, and they're like, whoa, it's kind of jarring. This is just so natural. It's organic. Dude, and also, Seth is, he just understands comedy, so he's like, he knows not to step on you. He knows I'm, there's like another line coming. Right. If I'm trying to build to something, he, yeah, no, it's,

I still love... I miss shows. I did Are You Garbage Live the other day, and I was like, I like doing things with an audience. It's the best. It's fun. It's fun. Was it the Gramercy? It was at Chelsea Musical. Oh, nice. That's where we ran into that guy who said he wants to carry Bodega Cat. Dude, Bodega Cat's fucking moving. It's moving, baby. We're moving with this shit. Moving product. Every time I get a text from Matt Herman, our distributor, I feel like Ray Liotta in the shower. I'm like...

Jimmy! But I'm like, Sammy! How funny would it be, though, if this fucker Kaiser Soze'd us and just took all our money? Because Mark and I are all in financially on this. We're 50-50 partners now. We bought out our other partner. We are in the red right now. A lot of moolah. A lot of moolah. We're in the red right now. And...

And it would be hilarious if this like sweet, seemingly competent guy just fucked up our lives. He's a cute little nerdy guy. He's always anxious and uncomfortable and nebbishy. And this guy could be Kaiser Sosa in us right out of our savings account. He's listening to this podcast with a cigarette like, yeah, I'm fucking nerdy. I'm going to rip you fuckers to shreds. He's fucking your lady right now. These guys have no idea. I wouldn't use my lady, but they're cousins.

That's why I went with yours. It's even darker. Oh, that's true. It's his baby. His first words were, duh. Yeah. Ooh, that was rough. Sorry. Sorry about that one, guys. I've been sitting on a hipster Julius Caesar, they them brute. Wow. Wow.

That's a good one. That was 20 minutes I was waiting to get there. He's like, come on, work it back to Caesar. When I was in high school, the Caesar cut was popular. Remember that? It's awful. It was awful. Who was it? Were there any big actors who had that shit? Oh, yeah. George Michael had it. George Michael? Jason Tatum, the basketball player for a minute, kind of had it. Ooh. Ooh.

Yeah, it's my high school yearbook photo is me with the Caesar. No, that's no good. That's not the Caesar. That's the big boss man. Remember that wrestler? Yes. That was when wrestlers were like the most uncreative. It was like Ted DiBiase was just a guy with money. Right. Billy Della Man. Then they had IRS. He was just like, I'm the IRS guy. You're like, well, how uncreative. Yeah. They're just thinking of shit people hate. Right. Right. Like, I'm the herpes man. Yeah.

Then one guy was just Iranian. I know. That was it. That was it. I had that cut. It was not that short on the sides. Oh, dude, I had it. Pull up the AGT photo. It's awful. Just look up Samuel AGT. It's like a curly Caesar. Yeah. It's awful. Well, I was ashamed of my curly hair as a kid because everybody would go curly Q, curly Sue, abrillo head. Wow. That's fucking awful. Oh, it hits the forehead. What was I thinking?

That was a different time. That was what I thought a nice outfit was back then, too. Hilarious. By the way, you're wearing the same thing today. Yeah. That's not a hoodie. That was like 5,000 people in the crowd there. I could have maybe tried a little bit. That's true. I could have worn a fucking hoodie with one fucking string.

That's more normal. That's a good shirt. Yeah. Nice. Yeah. Conan, you tried it. That was like our first example of like trying to look nice. Yeah, true. I put on it. That was the first time you put on a button down ever. And then Fallon, the suit. And then people tell us like, oh, my first suit. And I think I did Colbert in my first suit. I look like shit. Oh, yeah. I didn't know you had to get a suit that fit.

Same. It was like, yeah, tailoring was like foreign to me. Yeah, pull up his Colbert suit and pull up my Fallon suit. That's a nice suit. Yeah, but pull up Colbert. That's fucking, that's a bad one. It was a little big, I remember. It was awful. Oh, yeah, look at that. The Mormon. You look like you're selling Bibles in that thing. Yeah, I remember Bert Kreischer was like, you should never wear a suit. You know it's rough when a guy who doesn't wear clothes is telling you not to wear a suit. Right, right.

um damn that's a good point but the hair looked good in that one oh there you go a little rodney looks like rodney yeah we're republican congressmen yeah you got a senator thing is that paul ryan yeah let's see pull up norman uh what show norman fallon my first good though in it though well it was a gray suit i got it at top man in soho for like 70 it was so cheap but it didn't fit they had to they had to uh

They had to pull the sleeves in. I don't know. It looks kind of good, actually. I think you're good in this one. Well, they fixed it for me because it was loosey-goosey. I don't see the problem here. Do you? I got about 70- I would say the black tie doesn't go well with it. The four pins in the sleeve, and then the sleeves had to turn in like this, and the cuffs, because they were way too long. It was a mess. How about that black one there? That looks good. That was when I actually got a couple bucks together and bought a suit, but even that suit's shit now. Yeah.

You know, it's funny that you spend money on these suits and then like you think you look good and every comment's like, why the fuck's he wearing a suit? I know. I know. You really think you pulled it together. Yeah. Every comment's like, you're not a fucking suit guy. The only good one is my aunt. Like, you look sharp. I'll get one of those. Yeah. If you want to fuck a 60-year-old in the Midwest. Yeah.

You're looking right. I just, Mulaney's first special came on the other day, and his whole opening is about his suit. He's like, so I got my first communion, blah, blah, blah. I look like a tall boy. So we have to address it. It's like a weird thing that comedians in a suit is strange. Yeah, but now it's hard to picture Mulaney in like a bomber. That's true.

Yeah, and he's in like a good fitting suit. That's a hell of a suit. Yeah, it's like a nice- Is he tall? He gives the appearance of being tall and thin, but- Six even. Oh, that's all right. He has a joke about it. That's the only reason. But he has, yeah, but he's like very thin, so. But he's a dapper guy. I mean, look at that. He just did, I think he won GQ, Man of the Year, and it's all just sexy sweaters and pants and- At what point is that a problem for your comedy? Ooh! Because we are not supposed to be cool. Oh, yeah, he looks like good. That's the thing.

It works on them. It does. But at what point is that... Because in your head, I think we're not supposed to think of ourselves as cool. 100%. If I was wearing this, I'd kill myself. But also... Not that it looks bad. I just couldn't pull it off. Look at this. No, the thing is you could pull it off, but then you have to get in a state of mind where you're like...

Think cool. Yeah, I don't have that. As opposed to like, this is ridiculous. I just hear my high school buddies in my ear going, hey, you jerk off. You think you'd pull this off? You fucking queef. Who do you think you are? My girlfriend got me a sweater the other day and I was like, what are you doing for me? And she's like, it's a really nice sweater. I'm like, yeah, but I can't fucking wear this. Exactly. That's how I feel. I have a leather jacket hanging up in my house. I got glass around it with a hammer. I'm like, I can't wear this. Signed by Andrew Dice Cliff.

I saw you wear it once. I've worn it like three times. It looked good. Thanks, thanks. But leather jacket is hard not to, even if it's a nice jacket. I wore one on a gig with Chrissy D, and he was like, leather? And now you're like, oh, out of the gate. Exactly. Then it's in your head the whole night. But I thought it looked cool. With the fur on it? No, it's got no fur. Oh, I thought you had a fur one. I've seen those. Those are fucking cool. Very nice.

Is our guest coming, by the way? Ten minutes. Ten minutes from now. Okay, shit. We're going to run into the second guest. Well, maybe we can just start that one. Can we cut all this, obviously? But we can start that late, right? Yeah, they're not here until four. Oh, okay. We're fine. We're fine. And he'll come in with late energy, which is good, because he'll be on and he'll be grateful. Or not grateful, but apologetic. Yeah, and he'll bring the...

you know, middle relief energy. Yes. Yes. Yeah. Late energies can help. Can I tell a quick Mark story? Uh, so I was, uh, yeah, you go first. You go first. No, you go first. So, uh, I was with Mark the other night and he was playing like a gay room.

It was a part of the New York Comedy Fest. It was called My Straight Friends, and it was a gay... Mark had to pretend he didn't know all of them already. He's vetoing the Sopranos. Like, what? It's a joke. It's a joke. Cut to me in the car later. What? All right. Pull that scene up. Pull that up for after. All right. Just a scene in the club. Okay. So... Oh, the club. He starts out his set, and like...

70% of his regular jokes is about gay stuff. I got a lot of gay jokes. Yeah. So I was like, is he going to do his gay material in front of these gay guys? And he starts, and I see him doing it, and he's stuttering just a little bit. I was nervous. A little nervous. And then he went right into it, and they went nuts. I leaned in. So I saw him afterwards. I saw him downstairs, and I was like, I saw you stutter step there for a second. You're going to have to bleep this. I'm sorry, Matt. And he's like, yeah, yeah. I just said to myself, come on, do it. Yeah.

Get over it. I was dying when you said that. Because that's really his internal monologue. From your friends. Yes. 1998 or whatever. Yeah, you're right. And it worked. Yeah. Yeah, I mean, those rooms during the fest can be tough, too. And to be nervous and take a chance. I had the exact opposite thing happen. Uh-oh. I did the Cats' Deli Show. Oh, yeah. I bombed so hard. Really? That's your mecca? Yeah.

I just killed at... That's why it hurts. I've now bombed in the Strand bookstore. Oh! I've bombed in Katz's Deli. I've bombed in some New York landmarks. I'm like, these are places I love. Yeah. What's next? I'm going to bomb in the garden floor? You know? The Knicks locker room? They're fucking heckling me? Stock exchange? Dude, I had... It went late. The show went late. I can save that for after. But the show went late and...

It started at 10. I'm there at like 11. And people keep cutting in front of me. It's one of those things where they're like, I got a thing. Oh, yeah. All right. And then I see Louie at the cellar. And Louie's like, oh, I'm doing that Cass's Deli show with you after. And I was like, oh, cool. But in my head, I'm like, he's like, yeah, yeah. I think I'm going after you. And I'm like, all right, thank God. Yeah. But then I get there. Louie like swung on. And he didn't. I think he thought I went on already. He did like 30. And I'm like, fuck. I'm in the back just like, I already had half a sandwich or huge. Huge. I was like, fuck it. Bring another one out.

I start doing picklebacks with Bodega Cats. With their pickle juice. This is iconic, but I am miserable. That's what happened to me. And then Marcelo from SNL is like, I got to shoot tomorrow at 6 a.m. And I was like, go ahead. And he kills. Big energy. And the ladies are going nuts. In my head, I'm like, I'm dead in the water. I look at my clock. It's like 12.09 a.m.

And I'm like, over two hours into a show, they're tired. I'm tired. I just keep trying, but I just keep... It's like drowning. We're just like... And I'm just fucking bombing. And it's like, what do you do? It's also a tough room. Not the cast is, but like that crowd that they get, they're kind of like well off and hip. Yeah. And they're not like... They're into themselves more than the performance sometimes. Well, Marcello did well. No.

But I kind of got him toward the end, but it was one of those where I'm like, let me make my exit quietly. Right. Yeah, Dan, what happened? You think the energy shift was too much? Maybe, yeah. It's like, fuck, all his charisma to then to me. Yeah. I'm like, that ain't helping. Right. And late, tired. Yeah, true. I think they wanted the night to be over. And I think also sometimes you don't connect. That happens all the time. I think I didn't open with the right jokes.

And so it's like you sometimes forget you have to be likable on stage. You're like, well, this mathematically is a good joke. Yes. And it just fucking misses. I struggle with that, too. And then you're out and it's like there's nothing worse than bombing and hating yourself, but also being full of two pastrami sandwiches. And booze. And booze. And you're like, not only do I hate myself, I feel like ill. Right. Oh, man. Well, this will cheer me up. Yeah. This was me at that show. This was fucking amazing.

Oh man. Go Vito. Is this a stereotype or do gay guys really do this? Dyer straights in the back.

I was here, it's a joke. You're a fucking fag? What? You fucking watch it, cupcake. Cupcake! You think so? Sal, please, it's a fucking joke. Oh my god. This is crazy. Say hi to your wife. I'm serious. Sal, please. Fuck those jerks. What do you care what they think? What? Leave me the fuck alone.

Oh, he just shifted. That's sad. That is a sad scene. That went from hilarious to just so fucking sad. Yeah, I feel bad for the guy. I mean, I thought you were going to show the giving head in the car scene. That's pretty good, too. Yeah, but that was dark. And also, I don't think I've ever seen that Sal guy. Is he in a lot of episodes? Because I feel like they hired him just to be the homophobic Guido. It's a great casting call. Great casting.

You don't remember me from Sopranos? I'm the guy who called him to f*** at the gay bar. That was me. He's like, and by the way, imagine nailing that role. And that's all the only role you ever played. I don't recognize that guy. I'm an actor. It says here you only played homophobic man in bar scene. Don't get me wrong, he nailed it. This was me after the show. Oh, that's Finn. The nod. Oh, this guy can't catch a break.

It can get your dick, though. If you play them all in succession, it is kind of slapstick. He just keeps running into people. He's sucking dick. He's getting butt fucked. He's like, not again. That's true. That was one of the darkest ends, though, that he met. I mean, that was fucking crazy. The Phil Leotardo. Yeah. So hateable.

That's a good way to get around saying retard. This guy's a leotardo. If the guy's an Italian retard, that's pretty good. Leotardo. Fuck. Oh, I had another thing. You were talking about cats. Oh, I can't remember. Yeah, shit. I bombed that show at Strand, too, which was like another. I love Strand Bookstore. That's another New York landmark. Totally. Thank God I didn't bomb at Luger's.

Oh. That would have sucked. But sometimes those crowds are very like, I don't want to say like precious, but you nailed it. Like those IG type of. Totally. Totally. It almost feels like a Miami type crowd. Yes. Yes. Exactly. Marcelo's perfect for that cute energy kind of. He is funny though. Ah.

No, I know what you mean, but he is a funny dude. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I see him in that commercial constantly now, the Platino Power. Oh, I don't know this. You've never seen this? I don't watch TV anymore. Oh, I watch too much. I watch so much sports that it's like... Oh, sports will do it. I'm all in on YouTube and Netflix and streaming, so I never watch commercials. You watching anything good? Well, The Penguin, I got to say... It is good. Simon Rex recommended it. Same. And the...

Colin Farrell, his performance in it alone is worth the fucking watch. I agree with you 100%. I'm just annoyed that it has to be superhero IP. Agreed. But I agree. It's really good. Kristen Milati is incredible. Yes. She's kind of an interesting character. Totally. That episode four is crazy. And also, have you finished it?

There's like a flashback. I'm not giving anything away, but it's Penguin as a kid. And they cast some little kid who's like, yeah, ma, I'm going to get you a penthouse. You're going to be up by the Boyds. You know, and you're just like, oh, here it is.

I see this commercial constantly. Really? Everywhere. Tradition, I heard.

This is a long commercial. I know. A minute 30. It's like a 30-second version. That's what they're playing. Well, the country's over. I don't even speak the language. No. But how good. Great. Good on him. That's a great ad. He's a real baseball fan. He's a huge fan. So that's cool. And Shane's new Bud Light ad came out. Oh, let's see that. Yeah, let me bring it up. Oh, we got our guests here. Oh, okay. Damn. Damn.

Our friends are really doing, making moves. It's cool. We got our whiskey. And we got our whiskey. We're making moves too. Peter Luger, baby. And coming to more, we just added a bunch of bars, so it's coming to way more bars. We were going to get in the game. Hey, here we go. Hey, what's shaking? Yeah, come on. Just come in. Can I use the bathroom? Use the bathroom. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, back there. Hey, what's up, dude? Hey, what's up, man? What's up?

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J-O-Y-M-O-D-E dot com slash drunk. Great sex solved naturally. Hey. Sit down. I heard you like banana, so we were trying to do a banana Manhattan. No pressure. No pressure to drink if you don't want to drink. Oh, we got the real thing. You guys don't even know this about me. I don't drink. Oh. I've never drank in my life. Well, we'll drink yours. Hell yeah. We'll try it and we'll tell you it's good. You're going to cheers on it? Well, let's pour the... He just mixed it. It's not going to make it something normal.

We got you these in case you want a potassium shot. A buddy of many years. Many years? Yeah. Dude, remember when we went to that Knick game years ago? Me, you, and Roy. That was fucking great. We went, I think it was during, okay, crazy Haasen story right here. He took me to a game years, years ago. Yeah. Porzingis' last game with the Knicks. Whoa. I don't know if you remember this, but yeah, Steve,

Steve Mills was the GM of the Knicks at the time. And he was talking. Roy Wood was there with Neil Brennan. Wow. It was a great crew. Yeah. And Roy and I are chilling. And Steve Mills, the GM, walks over to me. Not thinking. Oh, they're in this VIP room. Maybe they're worth talking to. Whatever. And they start chatting up.

you know, boring myself. And I, and I go, man, how about Porzingis, man? Can't wait to have him back. And he goes, yeah, but what about Mitchell Robinson? I go, yeah, no, Mitchell's great, but like Porzingis too. And he was like, no, Mitchell, Porzingis got traded the next morning. Oh, it's like when you tell your friend, Hey, your girlfriend's great. They're like, yeah, yeah. She's cheating on me. Hey,

Hey, man. Mazel tov. Congrats on the new Netflix special. Thank you, man. Hey, it's great. I really watch with my wife, and we don't watch anything. Holy shit. Yeah, we hate each other. But I never watch full specials. Oh, dude, thank you. At least clips. But the fact that you took the time, holy shit, man. It's tough. Of course. This is actually recent. Oh, all right. Have you tried it? The bank joke killed me. Liking a politician like a bank? Killer. Oh, yeah, yeah. Ooh, that's good. That's a good angle. Hey, that's not bad. Not bad. Not bad.

I like it. What did you guys, what's the? I just, we were waiting on walnut and black, uh, uh, walnut and chocolate bitters to add to banana liqueur and our whiskey bodega cat. It's called a, I think it's a banana bread Manhattan. Yeah.

It tastes pretty good, though. I'm into it. I love banana bread. We heard you like bananas, so I was like, banana. Dude, I love banana. I forgot you don't. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Banana caramel, like on dessert, too. Throw one of those in the freezer. Not bad. Dude, and then you blend it with peanut butter. This is some old man shit. No, I eat one every day.

dude oh my god i gotta cut it out on the road are you like you know you just you just hit that age where you're just like i mean we have a really good blueberry i'm like what the fuck am i saying but it's true you're like you have an amazing blueberry you ever explain your like decisions to a cashier at the grocery store and you're like i'm the most uninteresting fucking totally telling i was like deciding whether or not to get an umbrella and i was like i'm just not really an umbrella guy yeah and she's looking at me like i don't

But I'm like, I do need one, but I was like, but I'm never going to use it. She just watched it on. I was like, I am fucking awful. Yeah. Yeah. But okay. But in our defense though, do you ever have to, when you go to like a, like a party with your ladies work friends and you're like, bro, there are fucking just goobers out here. Yeah. Just office banter. They're listening to this. Like I thought we connect. No, not at all. Dude, I go to so many fucking who cares? Uh,

I go to so many like work events with my wife because you know she's got her career and she's doing her thing and you gotta go to the Christmas party you gotta go to the whatever and like they'll find out you're a comic they'll go you know I was in a band right

And you're like, yeah, sure. Yeah. Yeah. You're like, cool, man. Cool. What do you play? You got to keep it going a little bit. Yeah. And you just, yeah. So at least with us, when we're at, like when you're having the conversation, the bodega, like our ability to talk to literally anyone is a super,

Totally. Like it's a kind of a cool. I don't think she was like, man, this guy's really social. No, you don't think so? But in your defense, all we do is like Trump jokes. We got the Gaza shit. Like all we do is ingest all this dark shit and real shit and serious shit that it's nice to go. This umbrella is a little too thick for me. This one's lighter, though. That's nice to go minutia every now and then. Yeah.

That's why the Seinfeld show was fun. It was just like, we're talking about bullshit. And being quick, I was at a work thing with my wife. And it was in Los Angeles. And I fucking hate Los Angeles. I hate going to LA. But we're in a building. And outside the window, it looked like it was a visual illusion. It looked like someone was about to jump off. Oh, wow. But they're just on their roof. And so the guy goes, he goes, is that guy like...

is he walking on the roof? I go, the part didn't go his way. So he's just... Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. And they're like, oh. Yeah, yeah. And it's like, is this a suicide joke? And they're like, but they get it. Yeah, yeah. And they're like, oh, got it. They computed it, but they didn't get it. Yeah. Right.

Mathematically, we understand what you've gone for. Oh, it's funny. Right. That's the story of my life. You go to the wife's party or whatever, and you're like, it's weird that some pedophiles fuck little kids and some fuck little girls. Are they gay? And they're like, whoa. Right, right, right. Oh, I'm just bored out of my mind. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I'm just being myself. Yeah, yeah, yeah. His wife worked for the Catholic Church, so weird. By the way, I think teachers now fuck more kids than priests. I think percentage-wise, you might be onto something. I think I got something there.

I don't know. If you just look at New York Post headlines, you'd think teachers are just... It's like 80% of teachers fuck... Totally. That's all they do there. Ban books from the library. They ban Stephen King books and they fuck their students. This is really dark, but with the big

the big conversation in schools right now at elementary schools because my daughter goes to elementary school is the phones in school. Now, I'm not, I don't actively participate. This is dark. We went from pedophilia to phones in school. It's a little dark. No, no, no. But like the whole thing and I don't participate in the comments section because it's weird because you'll have like civilians in the comments. I'm not going to come in with a blue check. Don't do that. I'm not going to come in with a blue check in a PTA conference. Right, right.

So the whole thing is they're like, my first grader needs to have a cell phone in the event that there's a school shooter. Like I need to, and there's every part of me that wants to do like the bit. And I'm like, I can't. Right. What is the cell phone doing in the school shooting? Sam, you're reading the passing lane. People are going to hear. Bro, you're Iverson reading the passing lane. You're in the past. I get it. I so want to do that. Yeah. On,

God. You know how AI was so good at that? Yeah. There's a guy with a gun. Hold on a second. Police? Let me go live. They heard about it. Yeah. We don't get enough credit for that too as comics of like, hey, we can read the passing lane. Right. The way you saw it, you anticipate it. You're like, pass, fast break. But they, yeah, there's certain convos where they're like, they're not willing to engage with that. Yeah. No, of course not. But I think the school should ban phones. I think we don't need them. I don't know. The teacher's got a phone. They can call the cops. Yeah.

What are we doing here? It's like a comedy show. Bag them up. There's a whole, there is a whole. Yeah, what's that thing they use at the shows to bag them up? Yonder. Yonder. You guys don't do Yonder? I don't. No, it's, I'm too greedy. I need the money. It's like an extra 10 grand. It's expensive. You're right, you're right, you're right. Do you do it at every show? I do it if I know like I'm prepping for a special.

Because people fucking put out 12 minutes. I'm like, dude, I'm not. That's true. Yeah. I don't think people care. You guys are super prolific. Like, if I have 70, 80 minutes, I'm like, this is all like, bro, do not. Please. I just did a benefit with Seinfeld. Somebody put his whole 60-minute set on YouTube. Yeah. And it's like a part of his new hour. And you're like, damn, he's just in the balcony with a phone.

And the phones are really good now too. I know. You can go full 4K. I watched the whole set. I liked it and shared it. The guy brought a boom. He's just killing it. It's scary though, but every time I do a show with the Yonder, I've opened for a Chappelle a few times and it's like, the phones are back. You just feel free. You're like, fuck it. I'm going to throw shit against the wall.

It is old school. It feels like a great shoe. Air Max 90. Thank you. These are going to be an inch and a half too. Yeah. During sex. I need it. What? During sex. Yeah, there you go. Do you, when you said, you mentioned the food before, when you're on the road, is it like a, is food a big part of it? Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Well, if you don't drink, you gotta have something. You gotta have food. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I'm always trying to hit up the other comics. Like, where am I eating? But I also... You did a good job traveling with Vitor. You got me on... Everyone knows this. Yes. But you... Like... Yeah. Yeah.

I went from not being able to move any tickets at like Rooster Teeth Feathers Comedy. Oh yeah. Shout out. Shout out to Rooster Teeth. Yeah. Heather's probably still there. I had some rough ones there. Yeah. Rough. They don't even have a green room. Yeah. That's true. You're in the back fucking yard of Sunnyvale. Yeah. Like you're in someone's backyard. To go from there to theaters and then I just, I totally didn't realize. I was like,

Yeah, you got to have someone to travel with. Yeah. Yeah. Like, it's the whole... It's huge. It's huge. Yeah, you need it. And your guy is a good comic. Veeder's a great... Yeah. And knows restaurants. Yeah. Who do you usually bring out? I'll do, like, a combination. It'll be, like, friends or somebody local. Like, I'll just...

Like rotate it. Yeah. I like... I don't have a person. No, go ahead. I like the guy who's nice, low maintenance, but can also bounce bits. You know, you need the guy you can work shit out with. Like, is that tag? That needs a little help. What do you got on that? And you don't want the guy you don't really respect who's like, hey, you got to use this as a line. You're like, ugh.

I got to stop using you. That's a brutal line. Are you volume? You're a volume guy, right? What do you mean? Like when it comes to like tags and bits, is your percentage really high? For me, it's like 10% of what I- Probably 20 for me just because I throw a crazy shit against the wall because you never know what'll hit. Sometimes I'm almost 20 years in, I'm still surprised. Like that line hit and this one didn't? Yeah, yeah, yeah. But that's why a comedy's great. You shoot pretty high. No, I whiff.

I feel like... Big whiffs. You two and Michelle Wolf... Wolf is pumping it out. Her MLB, her batting, she's batting 340, 420, like Hall of Fame. I know. You know how in MLB they're like, if you're 300, you're fucking great. Yeah. She bats like 428. She's Otani. I'm just comfortable...

I'm okay with bombing. I really am. Really? At the cellar. At the cellar? I'm not. Dude. If I'm working on shit, yeah, no, it feels horrible, but I love going on those early shows when it's like Quinn and Norton and it's like they're working on shit. It's always topical. It's always interesting. Yeah. And...

I'm like, okay, I can work on shit. How long have you been comfortable like that? Not long. I've watched you at the cellar do that, and I'm like, fuck, bro. He doesn't panic. No, no. Me too. You'll start to see my little huss and tics. Like, yeah, he's getting big with his... He's moving his hands. You know I'm nervous. I panic in here. I know, but you're so good at that, bro. There's times of the... You're fucking great in the pocket. Yes. You don't scramble. You're like, go back. Everything's a sports reference. Dude, I have like...

There's like three things I know. There's only like three things I know deep. He's like, look at Sam up there avoiding the sack. Good stuff. He's a white quarterback. He's not going to Vick. You know what I mean? And when he starts scrambling, you're like, don't do it. I'm in my Aaron Rodgers era right now. I think I've lost it. He's Anthony Hernandez. Aaron Hernandez. God damn it, I fucked up. Can't keep up. He's the most Mark Spurs tag team.

sorry uh like like white quarterbacks that scramble is like a white dude at at the christmas party that gets on the dance floor it's like hey proceed with caution like if you're gonna dance yeah you better fucking come correct that's true yeah like because because if you're a yqb you're competing with like a cam newton you're competing with like a like those are there's real yeah iqbs that can scramble i hate i hate bombing i really hate it but it's like i just i'm i also hate

not having new shit and I hate putting on a bad show for people that pay to see me and like and I also feel really guilty if they've heard bits before and stuff and I don't know I mean I mean how do you work out if you because you always have new shit you gotta bomb I have to yeah yeah I'm bombing I'm just I'm personally having a meltdown yeah you know what I mean it's like I like I fucking feel horrible because we live in the burbs so it's just like I know when once you moved out there I'm like what the fuck is he doing I know I got kids I got kids no I get it I got kids dude we were living in Hell's Kitchen for like eight years and

I remember. I was pushing my daughter. You were living with Nemesh for a minute. For a minute. Yeah. Bro, when I first moved to New York, I was living with Nemesh. I was engaged. This is how fucking psychotic I am. Wow. I was engaged. Yeah, my wife had to walk past my roommates to get. Whoa. Yeah. Nemesh did crowd work with her on the way to the kitchen. Yeah.

He's like, Bina, what's up? That's a pretty good D-Mesh. You about to fuck Husson? Fucking herb. What if she comes home and gets the wrong room? Man, Husson's out here. You guys about the same build? Husson's doing comedy for Indian nerds. I do...

comedy for Indians that do drugs. Damn! That was dead on. No, that's one of my, like, I can do like four. Yeah. I can do like four prices. That one's not going to move tickets. Yeah. But yeah, he's not well known enough. But that's a great impression if you know Nimesh.

Check him out. Nimesh Patel. Nimesh Patel, hilarious. You do act outs? You don't do act outs, right? No, I can't. I'm stiff. I'm a fucking animatronic doll. I can't move. He's Aaron Rodgers in the pocket. Thank you. And I didn't get the vaccine. Hilarious. What's his YouTube video? In the pocket. Offscript throws in mobility destroyed. I'm scared now. It is crazy. There he goes. But he fucked up his Achilles, right?

You know more about football than me. What's going on with him right now? I think he's just old. Yeah, he's old. I think great athletes are the last ones to know they've lost it. So I think we all believed him when he came to New York and was like, I'm fucking turning this shit around. And then he's just old. Dude, the last two, three years of any athlete is just... It's rough. It's rough, bro.

They say beautiful women and athletes die twice. Yes. Wait, what's it saying? Beautiful women and athletes die twice. Damn. Damn. WNBA player. Three times. Goddamn. Dude, I was at the Tyson fight, by the way. What? Was that a mess? Dude, it was surreal. Were you serious?

I thought, okay, first of all, I think the undercard was a great fight. That was a great fight. That saved her. Oh, I didn't see that. So you were playing with house money. Yeah, I don't know enough about fighting, but I feel like Serrano won. I'm a noob. Maybe I'm like, maybe I don't know. Oh, dude, I thought she totally won. And that was hilarious. Her trainer came on and was just like, this woman's a dirty fighter. Came on the pod? No, it came on the mic there. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah.

Dude, what's wild about the acoustics is you can't really hear what they're saying on the mic the after. You can't hear it in the arena. But I felt like Serrano was amazing. And Taylor...

from my understanding just could lead with her head it was kind of fucking dirty the way she wow she looks a lot like adam ray that's crazy wait you were in texas for this i was in texas oh shit i flew in just for this yeah wow yes i went with a buddy of mine yeah who was who really really wanted to see the tyson jake paul fight yeah did you uh damn what a slug see any crazy celebs there you see shack oh dude shack was let me let me just say this

People do not understand how famous Shaquille O'Neal is. I understand. We get it. Yeah. But like everybody, Gronk was there. Everybody was there. Charlize Theron. She looks insane, by the way. Yeah, yeah. So hot. Incredible. But people are walking past...

Cedric the Entertainer, Mike Epps. Wow. To like literally give their baby to Shaquille O'Neal. You know what I mean? Wow. By the way, what was Cedric the Entertainer doing there? He's sad. Cedric the Entertainer. He's going to a fight. I know, but he's on the mic. Did you say they busted him with like, they were like, he goes up into a hundred Mike Tyson fights. They're like, oh, which was your favorite? It was like when they asked Trump his favorite Bible verse. He's like, they're all great. Which one he goes, I like both of them.

Old Testament or New Testament, I like both of them. That's great. Rosie Perez was there. I love Rosie Perez. Is she just a fan? Let me just say this. When black dudes come out for fight night, they're getting fits off. Look at that. Fur hat. It's fight night. Damn. It's a scene, man. It is a scene. Do you know Jake Paul at all? I don't know any of the guys. I'm just a fan of... Who are you rooting for?

But everyone was rooting for Tyson. Of course. Like, in a weird way, he was the... Not in a weird way. He's a legend. He's the hero. But I feel like...

Paul fully embraced being heel. Yes, which I like. He's like, boomie. Yeah. I want you to boomie. He came out in the- The Bentley thing? Yeah, the low rider thing. And then he had the cage, the pigeon in the cage. Oh, that's right. Yeah. I didn't even put that together. Oh. I was wondering why he had a dove. You know what's so interesting too about it? Like everybody in the arena was, we kind of all had the hope where like,

Remember when Michael Jordan blocked Ron Mercer on the Bulls at 41? Yeah. So he comes down. He kind of gets swatted. There was like these last games that he had on the Wizards. Was he 41 at the time? He was 40 or 40. He was old. He was old. But then he chases him down and two-hand blocks him off the glass, which was his fucking classic MJ. Pull it up. Yeah, look at this. Swat it. But wait, go back. Go back. See, this was the sad part of these years is that he didn't have the vertical. Look on the fade. Swat. Oh, damn. Now look at this chase down.

Boom. Oh! Badass. Mercenary. Just badass. Boink. Got him. In the stare down. In the stare down. Just two hands in the pull. Oh, shit. That's Hubert Davis. Yeah. Wow. But you see what I'm saying? He was angry. So this is what we wanted. Yeah. Like, yeah, no, you're not just going to fucking swap me flat footed. Yeah, but guess what? There's a difference between 39, 40 and 58. I know. I know. I know.

Damn. But what I'm saying is my emotion was there. This is where our emotion was at. This is what we wanted, like a big uppercut, a big like, just touch him up. Get a knockdown. Yes. Knock him down. We were collectively all rooting for a convicted rapist. Because that is how unlikable Jake Paul is. He did his time. That's what it is. He did his time. He did his time. And Jake Paul still feels like he's getting away with something.

Well, you want the YouTube guy knocked out. You want the blonde guy who's cocky and, you know, made his way through YouTube to get knocked out. You know what was so fire to see, though? And it's still like, look, in round one, there was a moment where he touched Jake.

I saw, and he panics. Yeah. Yeah, I saw that. It was the feeling of like, oh, no, no, I'm fucking, I'm playing Michael Jordan one-on-one. Right, right. You know what I mean? Yeah. But Michael, Michael, Tyson has always been like this kid inside. He's always been like a scared kid, and I feel like that came out in this fight. You could see he was a killer in the 90s. He was like the scariest guy on the planet, and this was like, oh, you're a sad little boy. He's on the corner like crying a little bit. Oh.

He was crying at one point. It killed me. Wait, Jake Paul was crying? No, no, no. Tyson. Tyson was a sad little boy. Fuck, man. It was brutal. Yeah. But anyways, the environment, dude, it's a must-see thing. Because it's America. Like...

Even on the undercards, whatever country you're from, like if there's a Mexican fighter, all of the Mexicans will be there. There's a Puerto Rican. Do you know what I mean? That's true. Every ethnicity, every race, every like economic class. Yeah, yeah. It's all there. I love that. It's a bummer. I feel like I have to support Jeffrey Epstein because he's a Jew. Also the stories. By the way, pull this up. Just pull up this Wikipedia. Bro, every fight is a story about America. Pull up 1981 Muhammad Ali, his last fight.

Just read this Wikipedia. Are you a huge boxing guy? I just like the lore of it. Like if you watch When We Were Kings, the documentary. I was just thinking that. I'm going to watch it. Come on, bro. It's on Netflix now. Let's just read this. Read how fucking crazy, when people are like, it's crazy now. Read how fucking crazy the story is. Muhammad Ali versus Trevor Burbick

Build is the drama in Bahama. It was a 10-round professional boxing match, Nassau, Bahamas, 11th of 1981. The fight went the distance with Burbick winning through a unanimous decision on points. Now, read the fucking background on this. Prior to the fight, Ali claimed that he had been declared fit by even the best white doctors. Amazing quote. Fucking amazing quote. That's a great line. Nevertheless, the venue for the fight, Nassau, Bahamas, was chosen because no American state would grant Ali a boxing license after his performance in the match with Larry Holmes. Now, at the time, I believe...

Ali was in his early 40s. The promoter of this fight was James Cornelius, a convicted felon with links to the Nation of Islam. However, a problem arose since Don King had signed up Berbick for a three-fight deal. When King arrived in Nassau to demand his share of profits from the fight, he was greeted by two friends of Cornelius who administered a sound beating to King. Wow. It's like a movie. Exactly. Yes. So, like, what I...

Dude, this is America. It's like swindlers, crooks, hustlers, fucking, it's all of it. Yeah, you're right. I'm there to see that. It's that with the- I love that. I hear that. Throw the Colosseum in there in Rome and see gladiators. Like, did you see the Trump fight?

I call it the Trump fight. Yeah, UFC. John Jones gives him his belt. He bows to him. It felt like the gladiator bowing to the emperor in Rome and like, you know, who knows what. It's insane. It's just a wild thing. It's a wild thing and it all goes back. We haven't changed as human beings. So are you guys watching the McMahon doc on Netflix? Yeah, we watched it. I jerked off to it.

It was incredible. Bro. Linda's part of Trump's cabinet. Is that right? Yeah. No, I didn't know that. She's secretary of education. That's crazy. Shut the fuck up. That's fucking crazy. Yeah. Wow. Tony Hinchcliffe's secretary of Puerto Rico. There we go. I don't know if you saw that. Vince is secretary of pooping on coworkers. Yo, I...

That one didn't really land, but you know what I mean? The poop did. Trying to tag him. Poop hit the chest. But dude, it's that, I would say that doc, in my opinion, that's up there with The Last Dance. It's that good. It's great. It's that good. I mean. But you know what? I've talked to friends, because I agree, I really loved it, but I've talked to, like Mike Lawrence is a good friend of mine, and Mike was like,

You know, like for casuals like you. Oh, shit. It's a great doc, but for wrestling fans, like we're furious. We all knew this shit and it goes deeper. Like Vince is connected to murders. Oh, gotcha, gotcha. You know. Oh, so we're casuals. We're casuals. Is Linda getting tombstoned? Yep. Oh, is that a 69? This is how I get pulled off, but I'm going to play it anyway. Yeah.

She's a fucking sport, huh? Wait, by the way, we can't really show this, right? Dude, we did an episode with Shane and Soda where we all dressed as wrestlers and WWE had it pulled because we're dressed as wrestlers. Hilarious. They're all doing quaaludes, hitting each other with chairs and we're the bad guys. It's all... But you know what's so wild is like...

I also saw it through the lens of being a comic. You know how there's all this debate about censorship and what? Right. Remember the episode where they talk about like there was an era. Yes. Girls Gone Wild. Yes. Jerry Springer of like, is this the moral depravity of society? Right. Are we losing control of our children?

It's like the same conversation we're having with like social media and kids. Do you see the parallels? That's what I'm saying. I do think it is worse now. Okay, yeah. But I think you're right. But like the themes are the same. But what do you think is worse? Beavis and Butthead or kids all day like...

Yeah. That was 30 minutes. Well, the, the, the crazy part is I have a couple of buddies that do these response videos on Instagram reels. So they'll play like a crazy video and then their head will pop out and they'll be like, all right, man, here's what I think. Yeah. So sometimes it'll be like a girl doing something crazy. So I do drop off in the morning.

And I had to unfollow my friend because I was like, bro, my six-year-old is in the backseat and you're posting just random lewd content. Yes, yes. You know what I mean? I have a six-year-old at the back. And he goes, why did you unfollow me? I was like, I think your comedy is hilarious. Right. I just can't have it. He confronted you on the other side. Yeah, yeah. Oh, really? He's my boy. We're boys. He's like, yo, is this like a thing? And I'm like, dude, I just...

He should get that. I text and drive and I open up. Like I am an irresponsible father, but I'm not that irresponsible. So I was just like, bro, your content is like, I can't. Sure. He'll see it from the backseat. That makes sense. So anyways, to answer your question about Beavis and Butthead, the point is, is that the fact that kids can just have pocket porn immediately. Yeah. There's no like. Bad news. Yeah. There was no.

There's no barrier to entry. The barrier to entry of like, you had your older brother had to give you the... This bit's been done, yeah? I mean, Ronnie Chang had the great bit of like, Twitter's so bad for you, we're gonna look at it like smoking. Like, you used Twitter when you were pregnant? Great line. But it's all the same vein. Yeah, but Nimesh has a joke like that too, where he's just like, I was on social media six hours a day. It'll be like one of those. Remember how they had the smoking ones? I thought that was RFK. Yeah.

No, but it really is like you used to have to earn it. Yeah. Kids are going to be into shit sexually now that we didn't get into until our 40s. Of course. Of course. Because they had acts, but also our parents can say that shit. They jerked off to Sears catalogs. We were on porn. We had internet. Yeah. There's also the humiliation factor. Have you done Mello's podcast yet? I haven't. Bro, you got to do it. All right. They offered me a date and I couldn't do it and then they never asked me again. I was like a little hurt. Oh, shit. All right. If you guys are watching-

Miro, reach out. Reach out. Sam's going to be great on it. Okay. But I asked him, I was like, you know, because Kyan, his youngest, basically just grew up

on the internet and now they have mixtape highlights on the internet. And look, I'm not going to lie, like growing up when I played, I've been dropped. I've been crossed up and dropped before, but it died that night. Yes. Like me getting dropped by some dude. Right. It happened. Like I got ridiculed and we kept it moving and I can then lie about it later and be like, it never happened. Totally. But now it's like...

an eighth grader you forever get fucking double crossed and dropped and it's on hoops mixtape and that's it's like etched in amber forever and you're like dude i'm going through puberty people kill themselves over that dude i used to have a bit about like how people say like bullying back in the day was worse i'm like cyber bullying like imagine getting catfish as a kid like what's what's worse getting getting a wedgie or taking a bus to syracuse thinking you met the one

Way worse. That's great. Jonathan Haidt has that book about him. Dude, by the way, I'm just jumping. You were on Seth Meyers the other night, bro. You were so good. Hey! Dude, doing the couch is so... You're one of the four people that watched it. Hey, man. I liked it. The other three are right here. No, but dude, doing the couch is so hard. Really? I was just saying, I think it's so much easier. But you're great at it, is what I'm saying. You're great at it. It's like...

The audience, they don't know unless you're, you know, fucking Chapel Roan or a huge celebrity. They kind of don't know who you are. But you did like within a six-minute segment, you did four like hard – Nice. And stories. Yeah, I tried to be quick. Yeah, bro. It was great. Well, you've done a bunch of those panel things. I've seen you on Fallon's stuff. Yeah. And it's like – how prepped are you when you go in there? Well, for me, I know like –

And by the way, this was your first time too, right? I did Daily Show and I did the Letterman thing on Netflix. No, no, no, but your first time with Seth. Yeah. Bro, you killed it. I expected him to be awesome because I know his style of comedy where he's like, he's so economical with words. So I feel like he'll listen well. But the part you're, and people got to watch this, is if you look at it, generally they got to get to know you. But from your first time,

from the first time you parted the Bodega Cat, like, it's hitting with the studio audience. Right. We've had friends that do their set with the studio audience and they're like, oh yeah, fucking suck. Definitely. You know what I mean? Yeah. The stories are great or the bits are great. They just don't know who you are. Yeah. It can be tough. You're not Zendaya so they're just not like, you know what I mean? True. You should get your friend to do a reaction video to this. Hey, there's this gay guy on Seth Meyers. Yeah.

But yeah, it was great. But with Jimmy, man, for me, I'm like, all right, look, I got two segments. Just isolate up top. Just clear the ball. Give me the ball up top. Yeah. Just isolate. Just isolate. I do the Jeremy Lin wave off. Just isolate. The wave off. Yeah, just wave off. Just go. Just give me the ball up top. People in the comments do it too. They're like, he just is steamrolling the set. And I'm like, well, I got six minutes. Let me just. Yeah. Do you know what I mean? There is something still to be said. You know, we spend all this time working on these bits and stories and stuff.

There is still something to be said when you do do it in that studio with like all the lights and the shine. It's fun. Look at that suit there. Is that like an orange suit? That's crazy. Yeah, man. It's 30 Rock. It's still showbiz. It feels like showbiz. I did a whole thing on the copper suit looking like my wife's IUD. Man, look at that. That looks swaggy as hell. Yeah, bro. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Damn, you're like the Riddler. Nice. Yeah, yeah.

I like getting Rizzler. Yeah, you wish. You're not that famous. The Rizzler's killing it. I know. Rizzler's on fire. I know. The Rizzler's fucking crazy. He's cute.

But yeah, the McManager, that doc was fucking incredible. Incredible. Who is... What's the... I'm not tapped into this. Oh, really? Dude, I'm so... You don't know who the Rizzler is? Dude, my algo is different. Dude, come on. You hooped with him. My connection is I saw your Instagram photos. He was a big defensive liability. He cost us some big possessions. Hilarious. Have you guys already dissected your performance? No, I was... There was no footage of it. I sucked. Really? That was terrible. But he...

The Rizzler, we had Jamal Crawford on our team. He was incredible. You're like the biggest. Bro, I love Jamal Crawford. I'm a huge fan. Bro, I love Jamal Crawford. But you're like the celebrity Kings fan, I feel like. Yes, I'm the only one. Because he's a Sacramento guy. This is the beauty of being like an Ian Carmel and being a Blazers fan. Yeah, yeah. When it's a smaller market, you're like a bigger deal. Dude, there's four people. Who's another big Sacramento? Tom Hanks went to Sac State. There we go. They rep him. They're like, hey, you know he went to Sac State, right?

Greta Gerwig, obviously. Oh, Hattie Bird. Shout out. Me. And then like, who's the actress who played in Ms. Marvel? What's Brie Larson. Brie Larson went to like high school for two years. Okay. So I get, they roll out the red carpet for me. Really? Yeah. I'm like, I'm, I'm number six on every Hollywood call sheet, but I'm fucking the King of Sacramento. I rep it hard. I rep it hard. That was one of our original connections. Cause he goes so deep on the Knicks. It,

And like, I respect that. He's not a casual. He's not like a Knicks casual in that way. But we're good, bro, this year. Great comedy town, too. I mean, I've been doing that punchline for years. That punchline's a great room to work out in. Right by the mattress store. Yeah, people shit on it. It's above the mattress store, just to be accurate. But I think it actually is a workout room. Great. And I'm going to get a little slander for this, too. But I think to work out a new hour, the sack punch is a little bit stronger than the San Francisco punch. Ooh!

Is it a little hot take? I do both. I do both. But I think... You might be getting that hometown love. Yeah. I don't know. They're both great. There's also a feeling too where...

Sacramento as a city is like the rest of the United States. That's true. Do you see, you know what I'm saying? That's true. So like when, growing up when I went to high school, like yeah, one of my best friends, his dad is like a gun owner. Right. It's all, you know what I mean? Right. It's libertarian, Republican. Yes. It's all of it. And where's SF? My dad's a professor. Right. You see what I mean? Yeah, yeah, of course. I always say it's like San Francisco's straight older brother. Hilarious. That's a great shot. It's got,

more realness to it. Yeah. So if like your hour is killing like that there, you could run that same hour in Dallas or San Antonio and you're good. Yeah, definitely. Every audience member for me in SEC looks like they do MMA. They're like a harder edge. Yeah, yeah. SF, I'm like, yeah, they don't use their hands much. Yeah, I saw a biker gang last time I was there. It's definitely more of America. Well, also, so the fact that you've noticed that, right? That like every dude there kind of is a little bit of like a brawler. Yeah. It's why when I...

moved to New York, I fucked with Knicks fans because you guys are kind of like, as in, Knicks fans respect John Stark's Anthony Mason energy. Yes. Like, if you have that bravado, like, you get respect. That's the same way Kings fans are. Like, we love Lottie. We love...

Yeah, just kind of like Bruisers, Peja, Bibby, Doug Christie. C-Webb. Like kind of hard-nosed players. That was a cool team. It was a cool team. It was a dope team. Yeah. Yeah. You guys got hockey over there, too.

The Sacramento Mahocan team? No, we're getting the A's before they move to Vegas, which is a weird thing. What? Yeah, yeah. Weird. We're like the foster care for the year. Right, right. We're like, you were a loving household for a couple years.

Yeah, because Oakland lost everything. Some of these owners, man, they're just really... Do you guys do good in Vegas? Do you guys play well? I fucking bomb in Vegas. Vegas is tough. I'm not a good Vegas guy. It depends. It kills my morale. You have to go broad in Vegas. But when you get the residents... But I feel like you guys are killed. There's no crowd you can't kill in front of. Really? You should have seen me last night. That's not true. In your bag, in your bag.

No, I mean, look, Vegas I've had, I think coming up in Vegas was brutal. But like last couple of times have been good because I feel like I got a lot of locals. I feel like locals are the key. You might be such a big act over there that you're getting people like coming in. Yeah, dude. It's the worst city on my tour. I'm like, fuck. Yeah, bro. Vegas is your least favorite? Atlantic City treated me better there. Wow. Yeah.

Because that's still Jersey. Yeah, AC is still Jersey and you're still getting a lot of Philly people and stuff. Right. It's a little different. Yeah. That's a sad town. Here's another few cities where I'm like, and look, no disrespect. Here we go. Shitless. Shitless. And listen, I'm saying this from a place of love. I want to have a great show. Yeah. Like I'm leaving my family to be here. Dude, I bomb in Albany so bad. Albany's rough. I bomb in Buffalo so bad. Damn. Don't get me started on Syracuse. And I bomb in Syracuse. Woo!

Now look, it's on me. It's on me. They're killers, but I bomb so fucking mad. Albany's hit or miss. The egg is sick, though. The egg is cool. I like the egg. That's in Syracuse? Albany. That's legendary. But yeah, man, that Albany phone.

Yeah, I've had some rough times there. Syracuse Funny Bone was one of my worst. I remember I walked like so many people. I remember my agent called me. She goes, you walked 40 people last night? What? And she goes, what did you do? And I was like, my act? Yeah. I just didn't like, what do you want me to do? It was not like I was like, fuck you, motherfucker. I just bombed.

Yeah. 40 people. Buffalo I like, actually. I think Buffalo's really cool. You did the special at the Den, at the Den Theater in Chicago. Yeah, that's a cool venue. Chicago is- I think that's one of your best specials. Thanks, man. I look back and I'm like, eh. Really? No, you got some classic bits in that. In my opinion. Thank you, bro. But the way that venue is designed-

is the opposite feeling that I get in Albany. What are your favorite cities to hit on the tour? DC is incredible. Love DC. Bro, DC is like the best...

from the DC improv to the theaters. Like, all of it. All great. It's just great. The Lincoln, the Warner. All of them are great. Great. He just did a Michelle Wolf special there. He recorded it. Boston. Boston's killer. I think the Wilbur's one of the best. I agree. I did my last one. I love the Wilbur. Top three. Oh, that's a cool. She looks cool, though. Nice curls. That's at the DC improv. Is that the special? Yeah, I shot it there. I'm at the improv, huh? Great. Oh, great. No backdrop? No. They let you use the logo. They said it's... I shouldn't say this. They said it's...

To remove it. Damn. I was like, all right, let's keep it. That's a weird. That's a weird markup. I know. Bro, you can't be talking money on the mic. Okay. It's going to be like Rico loss with us. You know how the rappers are in like right now.

Wait, what happened with the rappers? So what happens is like Young Thug, right? Young Thug is a, you know. Yeah. They freed him. Yeah, Young Thug's free. They freed Young Thug. Oh, I'm thinking of Lil Durk. Bro, pull this footage up. This is crazy. Play the Young Thug court footage. And by the way, shout out to Josh Johnson who did like a whole hour. Oh, Josh is killing it. Shout out to Josh. He's prolific. Prolific. Shout out to Josh Johnson. He's crazy. No, no, no. Just go to YouTube Young Thug Court. Young Thug Court. Do they play the...

It's like a sketch, bro. They play his music and the judge and everybody's listening to it because he's implicating himself. Oh, that's great. This is a turning point. Smiling. This is like us being a bit. Yeah, exactly. He's loving it. Look at the Mitch McConnell motherfucker on the right. Look at this.

That's his attorney. But I just love how he's just like...

Which I would not be doing. If they were playing my bit in court, I'd be like, ugh. But at least they play it. Remember in the Lenny Bruce trials, they're reading the joke. That's true. So he's like, that's not how I would say it. Good point. You're fucking up the delivery. Yeah. And he's just smiling. The security guard's enjoying it a little. So if you go down the rabbit hole, then they'll go to reaction shots too. It's just, it's like, bro, it's like a Chappelle Show level sketch. It really is. It really is. Some people are like, dude, this.

It's just C-SPAN footage of this. Wow. So he won the try. Look at this older, like, white lady. This is... Bro, you could not cast... The casting on this is so good.

Remember old episodes of Workaholics? Yeah. I would ask Adam Devine, I'm like, how did you find these characters? It is straight up Cartoon Network. Yeah. It's fucking TNT characters welcome on your show. And he's like, oh yeah, they would just come from the valley. Wow. But look at, just look at the way you would. Amazing. Yeah, it's incredible. Old white lady next to Sideshow Mel. Old white lady. Yeah. She's like, what is happening? This is amazing.

I will say it's hard to hear the lyrics sometimes, so you need the writing. Yeah. Shout out to Joe Coy. Joe Coy has a great bit about this song. What does he say? About this song. The lifestyle. Joe Coy has a killer bit on just this in his last special. Wow. Damn. But anyways, my point is that this is fucking...

So truth is way better than fiction. Explain the RICO act. Roughly from what I understand, and I'm going to get this a little bit wrong, is that there's a law that basically like in your music or if you implicated yourself in a crime, they can go back and then use that against you. Ah, okay.

Am I getting that right roughly, Sam? With the Rico statue? But it's if you're associated with the person. Or like if you do communications. They can get you on a gang charge. Yes. I think it was originally. They did this with Pablo Escobar as well. Escobar, great rapper though. That's great. But they tried to implicate your entire crew this way. Yeah, I think they started it for the mafia. Like the Italian mafia. Yes. That's how they got Capone.

Yeah, so they got Al Capone through the Rico statutes. So anyway. Stifelis got him after that. That's true. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Rotted his brain. So anyways, so I just didn't want you to get caught up when you're like, we pay for it. You're in court and they're just like, let's just play We Might Be Drunk. And there's like a sag after a representative to be like, really?

Oh, that's the least of his concern. If his wife leaves him, there's a lot of footage with this kid in the back. So how many kids you got? I got two. Okay. You're about to have a baby, right? I got a seven-month pregnant wife. Wow. Thank you. I'm terrified. I'm trying to live now. I'm writing all the material, doing all the pods. Bro. Going on trips. Thanks. I'm scared. Congratulations, bro. I mean, how do you do it with comedy? What's the trick? Are we the same age? I'm 39. I'm 40. Oh, great.

Yeah, man. You're going to be fine. It's going to be great. It's going to be awesome. That wasn't the answer he was looking for. How do you do it with comedy? Yeah, how do you do it? Yeah, are you still getting up? Yeah. You put out specials. I mean, like, the thing is that, like, you just get dialed in. Yeah. You're like, I just can't fuck around. Right. There's no fuck around time. Got it. So, like, if I'm at 3 p.m. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But you know what's really cool, man?

selfishly for us and and gaffigan will tell you this you're just like oh there's seven minutes right there right right seinfeld said the same thing gaffigan will tell you this wear a suit yeah that's a callback yeah but then also but then also just like just to keep it real man like we gotta life's about graduating like we did the 20s thing we did the 30s that's a good point you know what i mean like when you when you um again i'm not saying this just to like whatever uh

like Sam you're so good at owning the bomb. Rock is good at this too by the way. When Rock goes up in the cellar he is fucking unflappable when he's working on shit. But if you talk to like an open mic-er who's like 23

They treat everything like it's like, so then I'm going to do a late night set and then it's going to change everything. And so like when I sometimes talk to them, I'm like, you got to live through this. I can tell you how to, I can give you all the advice. That's a good point. You have to live through it. But it makes me realize I'm like, I'm so glad I graduated past this. Like I'm not playing that game anymore. So what I'm trying to say with the kids thing is you're going to experience just new memories and the shit that we did in our twenties and thirties at Moon Tower when we stayed up all night. Yeah. That was cool.

We did that. Interesting. Like now we're doing this. Yeah, you'll look at your baby and you'll forget all the good times we had. Well, I get such bad FOMO, but I think you're right. You got to move on. I think so. Dude, you'll be a dope. You're going to be a great dad. Oh, thanks. No, you're going to be a great dad. Yeah, I bet you're a great dad.

I can see what's it what's my wife my wife my wife you can't say honey I gotta go to Vegas yeah you like like you'll realize this too I was just like I can't stand on that there's other people that'll be like I would like to disagree on that but I think I think I do my best but what's the complaint that you're on the road too much is that it the complaint is is that like the money is there's there's there's it's like this um

like having a comedy career you have to be the showrunner of your career so if like you've ever been in a comedy writer writer's room you're like what are we doing what's the take what's the direction what's the plan like what's the schedule you're that you're the fucking offensive coordinator for the whole thing but to be a parent you're also show running like that thing you're running two shows you're running two shows your wife isn't running that you don't think no no my shout out to my wife she is running that yeah but

And I want to be a part of that. And it's just the pull of that. Got it, got it. See what I mean? Sure. Man, it'd be really great if we go to that water park in New Jersey this weekend. Yeah. Oh, but I'm doing Albany. Right.

Right. And it's like, I want, I want to do, actually, I don't want to be in Albany. I want to be with y'all, but like, it's that, it's that constant. Got it. Got it. That's the, that's the shitty part. That sucks. But the good thing about standup is you do have free time maybe when she wouldn't. Yes. There's times when you just drop in. Facts. Yeah. Days free. So yeah, thank you. I'm going to play this in couples therapy, by the way.

No, but for real. My drunk friend of the podcast. Hey, Sam, my drunk single friend. Are you single? I'm serious. Okay, gotcha. Respect. But, you know, Vitor, I have to hit him with all the time because, you know, Gary's got two kids. He's on the road with me. We're doing the bus next year pretty hard, and Gary's like, he feels a lot of guilt not being there. But he's a great dad when he is there. And, you know, he's always checking in on FaceTime. Totally. You know, he's with other women, but they don't see that, so...

Who are we to judge? But you gotta make the money. The joke, by the way. Yeah, women want it both ways in some senses. You're like, ah, get the lights on. It's also just like, it doesn't even matter about the gender thing. It's just a resources thing of like, all right, there's fucking 50 decisions we have to make. Like,

All right, braces is this much. Nanny is this much. Like private schools, whatever it is. Yeah, yeah. Like it's just a numbers thing. Yes. It doesn't matter. Like I could be doing OnlyFans or comedy. Right, right. That jawline, you could be doing OnlyFans. And there'd be like a niche market because there's not a lot of like Indian. What do you think you're showing off? You think like feet or what are you doing? I would do like hair. Hair is good. Hair fetish.

Indians aren't known for the feet. I know there's people that are into body hair. Oh. You know what I mean? You're hairy. Me too, man. I'm fuzzy. Yeah. I'm fuzzy. All right. Indian hair is the best hair. Indian hair is the best. It's the most coveted hair. Beautiful head. Look at that hairline. It's fucking crazy. Bro, thank you. I know. Like, hey, I lucked out. If you fail in comedy, you could sell that. I could sell it? And you'd be cleaning up. For sure.

For sure. Was I supposed to bring in a bit? If you got one. We could, yeah. Like a half-baked...

Not ready yet. I don't even have... Yeah. Okay. Yeah, we do bits, wrecks, and peeves on here. Okay. Speaking of bombing, I saw Louie bombing for a good month, and I'll say this to the camera. He was dying up there, and now I saw him two nights ago. It's all working. Yeah. The same shit. It is pretty cool to watch. It's incredible to watch. It's incredible, man. He gave me... Can you turn around a bit like that? Yeah. It takes me... Sometimes it takes six months. Sometimes I get it in a week. It's all over the road. Mark is being humble. I do think...

Of all my friends who have a premise, he sticks with it as well as anybody. Like, he will have a bit not working, and then it'll just be fucking... Like, I'll just see it one day, like, holy shit, I didn't... And I always believe in it, but I'm also, like, there's times when I'm like, oh, I didn't see it there. Like, I just... Right. You know, if you find something funny, clearly there's something there, and you're just not articulating it, but the way he sticks with it is pretty cool. And there's also the...

It's always the, what's the link that I'm missing? I know. It's just the link. The puzzle piece. It's right there. Okay. Has somebody done that? Somebody's done this bit, but. The arrow in the head? The arrow in the head. Yeah, yeah. Remember when you were in elementary school? Like the fastest kid in your class was the biggest speed in third grade was the biggest flex in the world. Like I remember at recess, it'd be like,

Like, do you remember the fastest kid in your class? I do. Yeah. You know him by name. Tony Champagne. That's what I'm saying. So there's something in this idea. I've been trying to fucking crack this bit for a year. It's very male. I don't think women were sitting around like, she's quick. But maybe that's the angle. But girls would come.

To watch. To recess. That's true. And it was like, I will race you. Yes. And then to get older. There's something in this idea. I like it. I like it. Because like. Well, when you're young, it's racing. When you're older, it's fighting, I think. Like eighth grade, like who's the toughest. Yeah, yeah, yeah. You know, so it's like fight or flight. What's the currency like now? Money. Money. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Success. I'm trying to think of the, do you know what I mean? The thing that's not.

The easy punchline at the end would be, and now I'm fast and my wife hates it. But that's too easy. But yeah, there's something relatable for sure about this. In the vein of the, you ever do this where you're like, this is how my brain works? Mm-hmm.

I almost hear it like a song. I'm like, I know the joke is going to go like this. Yes. Produce a song. Yes. So like a little bit of this bit, I know I have to pepper it up top the way Cosby did the dentist thing. Ah. Because it is a remember, you remember when joke. Right. And there's, so there's like, there could be a crowd work element of like, who was it? Is it Nick? All right. Right. And remember like, I'll meet you at recess. And then the idea of like, just this like random 20 minute break where,

we would somehow fucking organize this yes flies you know what I mean this match and then maybe there's like a way to be like you can't do that as adults like chase me

My kids, the idea of like chase me, they're like, hey, chase me. Right. They think it's so fucking great. Yeah. Like my son could come up and be like, hey, will you chase me? And I'm like, all right, I'll chase you. You know, but like you do that now. It's a skill that doesn't translate to adulthood. Like there's no use for being fast. Unless you're the Olympics. That's really the only way is to go all the way with it. But there's like five people that know. Right. Is there some primal like thing in our amygdala of like, no, speed means you're fast.

You could be the leader of the pack. Probably, yeah. I was so impressive. I don't know. It goes back to the hunter-gatherer days. You could chase a gazelle. Who the hell knows? Or you can get away from an enemy. But at age seven, why did we... I don't know. Well, sex wasn't introduced yet. Yeah. That's what I think...

you're like this you're focused so you have a small bubble when you're a kid so speed was no woman now is like it's like does he have a lot of money no but he's like a fucking cheetah dude that's what i'm saying ass yeah money and sex come into your life later you're like fuck running this is important and i think that's what the thing is as a kid that was your world was speed so i'm out of the adult i've been at it i'm married they'll be now like almost 10 years what's the what's the currency that matters

Like I have friends that have told me that for some reason height is a big deal. Height's big. But that's for getting laid though. They'll get eliminated.

From the love on height. Yeah, yeah. That's fucked up. Yeah, that was him. That was the kid in my school. Tony Champagne. You found him. That's crazy. That was a friend of mine. Okay, look at this. Store manager at Ross Stores Inc. Did you see what I'm saying? Yeah, shout out Tony, my old pal. But Tony Champagne Jr., like in the third grade, bro, being the fastest kid in your class was like, yeah, I'm a partner at Akin Gump.

Like I'm... The champagne of sprinters. Yeah. Run for his run. I mean, running is in there. It's important. That's crazy. There's also Tony Champagne. How many Tony Champagnes in New Orleans do you think there are? It's a common name. What? It also sounds like a guy who would fuck you over with money. Those are two wildly different Tony Champagnes. That was the black guy. That's dope, man. Hey, Tony Champagne, you piece of shit. You better make good on that bet. That kid could run.

Look at that right now. He never stopped running. And he was a good drawer. What's it like for you to meet people now, Sam? Like when you meet people to date. To go on dates? You're kind of famous. That is tough. I haven't been on a date in a while. But there was a period where it was like, no one gives a shit. Really? No. I don't think anyone cares. But they just knew you were financially secure. So they're like, all right. And tall. I guess. Yeah, you're tall. Yeah, it didn't really do me that many... Unless...

Occasionally I get like, my brother thinks you're funny. I don't know who the fuck you are. That was like something I would get. Like, you know, something like that. It was nothing. This might be delicate. Do you ever match with someone on Raya? Who what? Have you ever matched with someone on Raya? Yeah, of course. Yeah.

Ever? What the hell is that? Why is that delicate? Because you have a girlfriend now. I didn't want to... Oh, yeah. I don't give a shit. All right. Who'd you match with on Raya? Oh, I don't want to say that. Ah! Rico statues, man. Yeah. It was... No, I don't want to put people on blast there, you know, but...

fine, it was Helen Mirren. And I fucked her twice too. Yo, you want to know what crazy, then I ran away champagne style. You know, this, I felt, I'm not on riot, but I felt a certain way. I had like some Instagram clip that I put up for, you know, on my channel and Helen Hunt liked it. And I was like, woo!

It got me feeling a certain way. I'm not trying to brag, but it was Helen Hunt. I love you like I do. I'm not trying to brag, but it was like, yeah. It's good as it gets. It's good as the wet t-shirt. Oh, let me ask you guys this. What was your, do you remember your first cartoon crush? Well, Jessica Rabbit is the obvious answer. That's tough. Mine was Anastasia. Anastasia. And it made me kind of like have a crush on Meg Ryan.

Because Meg Ryan was the voice of Anastasia. Right, right. Meg Ryan's cute. I don't know Anastasia. What Disney was that? It wasn't Disney. It was a darker animated movie. Oh. Which was kind of like. Got it, got it. By the way, are you guys watching, since we know darker, are you guys watching Penguin? Yes, we just got into it. Oh, you guys already talked about it on the podcast. There's your girl. I think it's pretty good, man. It's a good show. It's good or great?

I think when people were saying it's in the same conversation like this. Breaking Bad and The Wire. Yeah. You gotta settle down. But it's a really good show. But Colin Farrell alone is amazing. It carries the whole show. It's a great show. Wow, he's so different. There's a lot of like good. So there's a lot of okay. So the fact that it was like

Good to great. Made it. Yeah. And you got to love the IP juke they did of like, hey, you like Batman, huh? Check this out. It has nothing to do with Batman. And also, isn't it crazy? And I'm on episode four right now, but there's no mention. Nothing. Of the Batman. They got us in with the name we know, and then they pulled the rug out. Do you feel there's a little bit, like what I like about it is the, it has a little bit of that Breaking Bad factor. Sure, sure. Of like, at the end of every episode, he's cornered in some way. Yes. And you're like, how is he? Yeah.

It is fun to root for the bad guy a little bit. It is. And he's so fucked up that he's kind of an underdog. Have you guys seen the clip of him when he's rapping? I think it came out yesterday. What? Of him in full penguin. Play it. Him in full penguin. Uh-oh. But he's talking like Colin. Yeah, Rico. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, no, no. Oh, jeez. Not rapping. Oh, yeah. When they rapped production. Oh. Oh. I didn't know the same thing you did. But he's in. Jesus, man.

That is hilarious that that's how I read it. I did the same thing. Yeah. We both did the Rico joke. But it's like Colin Farrell talking to the cast when they rapped. Yeah, take a minute. But it's wild hearing him talk like Colin in the full prosthetics.

Is there a... Kristen Milati. She's amazing. She's great. Yeah, she's awesome. Layered character, too. What do you guys... Do you guys do the whole PS5 thing on the road? Or do you guys do movies and... No, movies. Movies and booze. I'm doing the bus the whole run next year, pretty much. Bus is so fun. And...

Yeah, I bought so many fucking Blu-rays. I'm texting Vitor. I'm like, what do you think about this one? He's like, dude, we got to re-watch Cape Fear. He wants to watch De Niro. Oh, that's great. He's just picking out, dude, I got Deliverance for the South.

I got, what else? Oh, fun. I got so many good ones coming. I just bought The Game with Michael Douglas. Oh, great. Oh, that's a fun movie. Oh, that's great. Fincher directed that, right? That's right. Yes. That's right. I got some really good ones. I got fucking Manhunter and Thief. Nice. Michael Mann. Let me just say this, by the way. Yeah, we got a lesson.

Oh, Jesus. In a minute. Plug your dates. No, man. Let's do 10 minutes. Let's wind it down. 10 more minutes. Let them know. We'll wind it down. Whoa. I like it. What was I going to say? Fuck. Penguin. Penguin.

No, no, no. What were you talking about? Melody. Tour Bus. Tour Bus. PS5. Dude, what I love about the movies, I love about the, no, but this comic that would open for me, Mechie Leeper, it was a very funny comic. Oh, I know Mechie. Mechie's very funny. He was on that Amazon show too, right? Yeah. Jury duty. Mechie's super funny. Yeah. But he brought a Nintendo Switch to the Tour Bus a couple years ago. The graphics on

Do it. It's unreal. So you should absolutely get like a PS5 Nintendo Switch. Which one is that? Is that the little one? You didn't like it? Well, no, I did, but I did it on the road with Aziz Ansari and I was with Mateo and he's such a little glitch bitch. He knows how to win. Every little cheat code, Mateo's just doing like some shit. I'm like, how the fuck are you in first place by this much? You guys don't... Yeah, he is...

talented at everything he is there's nothing he is bad we were on stage together the other night the seller and he's he's speaking french to an audience he's singing drawing wearing like a new york knicks jersey yes fucking ripped he's got arms like dwight howard and it's like god damn those guns yeah when he's when he's bulking and cutting it's just crazy i play this clip of of him and i

Got materials like shit. Yeah, yeah. Whoa. Trippy, right? Blowing my tits off. I will miss the suit.

Wow. He's had a crazy career because I feel like he was in a ton of shitty movies for a while and then he just like started just, he just got in a hot streak. Yeah. Kind of like McConaughey where it's like, we know you're good, you're just in a lot of, you can't always control what you're in. Well, it's the hot guy, it's the hot guy problem. But then he was in Imbruge and I think everyone was like, oh shit, this guy's awesome. Killer. Let me just say this. I love that you

You're curating great movies. Let me just say one movie that I think is fucking great. Please. Hot Rack Time. Okay.

Any Given Sunday? It's fun. Oh, it's a classic. Who's the director of Any Given Sunday? Oliver Stone. Stone. Oliver Stone. He is slept on as a director. Yeah. I mean, he's like... I don't think... Is he ever... On the 4th of July? Is he put in the Quentin Tarantino, Steven Spielberg conversation? No, he's not. People don't put Oliver Stone in that conversation. No, but speaking of the Tarantino, Spielberg, he direct... Didn't he do Natural Born Killers? Which Tarantino did the story and he was like, I want nothing to do with. Also, Stone just did that new Megalopolis and I think... No, that was Coppola. Was it Coppola?

Okay. No, he did Platoon, though. He did Wall Street. He did some... So I would say, like, if you look at the cinematography of Wall Street... I think he wrote Scarface, by the way. And Any Given Sunday. Wow. You're just like...

The tone of it. The tone of it's great. Any Given Sunday to me is like, I haven't seen a better like football movie. Jamie Foxx was awesome. Fucking great. Willie Beeman's amazing. Bill Bellamy is like, oh yeah. Fucking great. LL Cool J. LL Cool J. That's right. They apparently like legitimately got in a fight on set. LL Cool J and Jamie Foxx. So there's whole lore about them like in that scene where they're in the bathroom and they full on go at it. Yeah. And the story is like Oliver Stone just let it rip. Yeah.

Just like, yeah, yeah. Just talk that shit. Like, yeah. So they were both kind of, it's that beautiful thing of like they were in character because LL is still kind of LL in that era. Right.

And then Jamie's kind of coming up and should be an R&B singer and that. Egos. It's great. Dennis Quaid. We were talking about him. Dennis Quaid held on too long. He's the older quarterback in that. By the way, LL, real badass. A guy broke into his house. He beat him up. Fucking great. By the way, hey, if I'm going to do a pitch, by the way, LL, would you guys have him on We Might Be Drunk? Of course. We'd love to have LL. He's on a pod right now.

run right now. Really? There's two people that are doing podcast runs right now. Let me just shout them out too that are fucking killing it. LL Cool J.

is ripping through every pod. I had no idea. This dude has stories. He's like, you want to know how I recorded an album with Michael Jackson? You're like, what the fuck? Where is this story coming from? He's a Queens guy. So L Cool J's is ripping through podcasts, has amazing stories, and Marlon Wayans. Shout out to Marlon. We tried to get him. Marlon is killing it. I met him at that Super Show. He was very cool, but his stories are insane too. Of course. Yeah, he was like, oh, I was friends with Tupac. And by the way, another great movie with Marlon Wayans, Above the Rim.

Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, get that for the. I'm going to get that for the bus. So I'm sorry, guys. Our guest has to go. Our guest has to go. Oh, OK. All right. We got a tour. I'm not on tour, but watch the special on Netflix, please. There you go. Off with his head. Streaming now on Netflix. I'm really proud of it. I think it's your best one. Thank you. I'm pumped to see. I think you guys will enjoy it. Thank you, guys. Thanks for coming in, man. That was great. Good chatting. We went deep.

Yeah, Mark, where are you going to be, man? I'm going to be all over the road. I got Englewood, New Jersey. What is it? Oh, got it. All right, we just wrapped up Providence. Now we're coming to Wilkes-Barre, PA, Englewood, New Jersey, doing a run in Houston at the Improv, Polish This Hour, a run at the Stand Up Live in Phoenix. Love it.

Dallas Improv in Addison and the Ryman in Tennessee, Nashville. Were you taping the special? I don't know yet. I think I got three. Minneapolis, San Diego, Denver. Those are my three options. Let's talk about it. Okay, we'll talk. I want to hear your thoughts on each. I like it. Where are you at there, Fatty? Yeah, where are we starting?

The 8th of December. I just added a bunch of clubs to work out before I go on the theater. So I added San Antonio January 3rd and 4th. We added Liberty Township, Ohio. Oh, yeah, I know it. Yeah. Outside Cincinnati. Yeah, right outside Cincinnati. Then we got Pittsburgh January 23rd through 25th. And then we hit the fucking bus, baby. Woo!

First two days, I think we're doing a runner, but Charlotte, Richmond, Philly, D.C., Bethlehem, Tulsa, Austin, Dallas, Houston, New Orleans, Memphis. It goes on and on. Knoxville, Nashville, Birmingham, Atlanta, Durham, New Haven, Providence, Portsmouth,

Portland, Maine, Burlington, go to the website. Montreal, Toronto, goes on and on. I am hitting your city, and if I'm not, I'll do it in the fall. samorell.com slash shows or punchup.live slash Mark Norman, punchup.live slash samorell. We're on there. Get some tickets.

Buy some Bodega Cat. We love you. Watch Hassan's special. Our buddy and Salamanca. You got anything to promote here? Just page to stage. It's on Punch Up Live. You can buy it for three bucks. It's a documentary I made with Mark about writing one joke. And we did Michelle Wolfe, and we just did one with the Seinfeld appearance and all that. So we're cooking. All right. Well, awesome. Love you guys. Keep listening. Tell your friends and get some Bodega Cat. Hell yeah. Comedy Sunday.

Sunday's the day for my next Fender shoes close And Norman's talking shit in the same way A father in danger rose I'm out to lunch here in Newlands This woman doesn't look true