Ep 205: Kenan Thompson
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Yo! Hey, hey, we're here, we're queer! You might be drunk. Sorry, a little semen. No sleep last night. Why, why not? I don't know. You know what I think it is? I was just laying in bed, 6am, looking at the sunrise. I watched the garbage men come by, I waved at them. Because you don't have any fucking blinds. Well, it's that, but I couldn't fall asleep at 2 either, or 3, or 4. I have a theory. Because...

A, I ran out of sleeping pills. There's a theory that sunlight keeps you up when you're trying to sleep? I couldn't sleep at midnight at 1 a.m. It was dark then. But my theory is I got a new house. I got a baby on the way. I've been on the road. Love the house, by the way. Thank you. Writing jokes, traveling, podcasts. All I do is listen to podcasts and watch YouTube. So I never had a moment to think. And I think last night my brain was like,

We got you. We're going to think right now. Like, you're going to spiral for seven hours. It's funny that you block out your thoughts with pod. You're blocking your thoughts out with other people's thoughts. Oh, completely. Yeah, but usually, like, I would do something even more escapist, like a movie or something. But, like, I can't do pods, too, unless it's certain pods. Well, I go all over the road. But to me, it's just you block out your bad thoughts. Like, you know, you're walking around the subway. You don't want to just have nothing going.

I like to have a stimulation of some kind. Something's good. Yeah, I feel calmer with noise. Yeah, so you're not sleeping. Is the wife sleeping?

She's out like a light. That's even more annoying. I know. Because you want to flick her ear and you're like, oh, you're up too? You don't want to be alone. I know those moments. Yeah. I'm the last one to sleep always too. Yeah. You kind of do feel like the man of the house. You're like, I'm protecting. I'm watching. Every crack and creak, you're like, what was that? I'll go kill him. But it does suck. I mean, you wake up and you're like, ah, fuck.

But you got no sleep either? No sleep. Watched a movie that I was telling you about it. This weird British movie, The Cook, The Thief, His Wife and Her Lover. I'm just scrolling on Amazon and they got this movie and I'm like, oh, this looks weird. Never heard of it. Tim Roth, Michael Gambon and...

Helen Mirren. I look it up. It's got crazy good reviews. Wow. It was NC-17. Whoa. They threatened it with a rated X. Whoa. Because it's crazy sexual. Yeah. It's weird as fuck. It looks gorgeous. Yeah. I mean, look at these colors. It's like Kubrick almost. Yeah, it's dark. It's crazy because there's like literally Helen Mirren's bush in every other scene and all you think about is the violence. Whoa. So anyone who complains about the nudity is like a psycho. Ha, ha, ha, ha.

But it does open on a scene where I'm like, yeah, I'm shocked. Whoa. I mean, look at it. This guy's a piece of shit in it. Whoa, man. Yeah, he's a, it's pretty dark. I'm in. Yeah, it's pretty weird and it opens with, Jesus. They're torturing a guy, dick out, covering him in shit and you're like, so I guess this is the bad guy who's torturing him, you know? Whoa. Yeah, like look at this stuff but it looks cool as hell. Yeah. But yeah, I mean, I guess in America, this is so classic America, it's, they,

They were like, fuck this. It's pornographic. And then in England, they were like, this is a social satire. They were mad because it was like making fun of Thatcher. Oh, interesting. They thought it was mocking the government. Wow. So I guess, yeah, it's layered and weird. Look, there's parts that aren't exactly for me, but-

Pretty crazy. I'm in. I mean, it looks cool. I can't call it a wreck because some of you might be like, Sam, you're a sick fuck. First Speak No Evil, the Dutch version of this. Yeah. I hear you. Well, you're becoming like Epstein with movies. You have to keep upping it.

Because you watch so many movies that you're like, you got to speedball it now. You can't just have weed or coke anymore. You got to do heroin and crank. Well, this is a 14-year-old. This is it. Some dicey stuff. Yeah. No, this is pretty wild. Her tits are underrated, by the way. Oh, she looks great. It's also weird because you see like a nude Helen Mirren and you're like, oh, that's just like a naked woman. Yes. But now it's like every part of the like...

Brazilian butt lift. Yeah, tattoos. Fake tits, yeah. Six pack. She just looks good naked.

Pull her up. Big Bush, too. Like, holy shit. That's how you can date a movie right there. Yeah. Like late 80s. That's true. Now it's like. Oh, that is a woman. I like a woman. Give me a curvy whore any day. Whoa, man. That's full gash. She's got. That's a hatchet wound right there. She hung gash in a lot of movies. I mean, she's. And she aged well, too. Yeah. She almost got better looking in age. Yeah. Yeah.

Wow. I love that we're praising her being a natural beauty. She must have done some shit, but... Probably, but... But she looks great. Great. It looks more natural. Whoa, is that... She's blowing a guy in Caligula? I gotta watch that. Damn, Sam. Jeez. Patreon. Bring back the Patreon. Just watch the nude shit. Look at her in the lake. My word. Yeah. Great bod, curvy. This is what men want. I...

At the baby shower. Thanks for coming. That was fun. Thank you. Thank God I got a comedy corner. Oh, you got to do it. There's a lot of family corners, and I was like, I got List, I got Broussard, I got... Yeah, that's why... Who else is in my corner? Ruby, Sarah Tolomache. Ruby, thank God, yeah.

That's why I chase those kids around. That's my out. I'm like, I don't want to talk to my- I saw you doing that. I was like, what the hell are you doing? I don't want to talk to my uncle. I'd rather, at least this is easy. There's no mental work. You were playing soccer and tackling kids. I was like, what the fuck is Mark doing? And I was like, I put it together.

I realized you didn't want to talk to people. Yes, that's exactly right. But part of me was like, he's going to be a good dad. Yeah, well, I like to roughhouse and all that. But wait, what was my point? I had a point. Oh, so I heard a bunch of girls at the party. There was a bunch of female maize people all hanging out. And they were talking about blowjobs. And I got an ear in. And one girl was like, you got to do the swirl. The swirl is big. And then the other girl was like, what you got to do is tease around the ball. And I'm like...

You cunts don't know shit. You're talking about what women want. Women want the tease, the going slow, then speed up. We just want the action. We want the meat. I feel like women think all this movement is cool, like up and down the shaft with the corner of the cob. Just blow me. Yeah. I mean, I hate to say it. I know it's not romantic, but it's like- Tongue in the ass ain't too shabby either. No, no, but that's- But then they come up with a kiss afterwards. You're like, damn it, I deserve this.

I got what I wanted, and this is what I wanted. Oh, yeah, the old Brooklyn smile or whatever they call it. The Pepe Le Pubes. Pepe Le Pubes. Pepe Le Pubes. That's not bad, right? Yeah. Yeah, no, it is funny to overhear them because you're like, yeah, you know just as little as we do. Yeah, yeah. It's like- The swirl. Yeah, okay. What the fuck's a swirl? I mean, maybe, I'm sure it feels good, but it's not like- I guess. Guess what? Although, have you ever gotten a really bad blowjob? Yes. It's shocking. It's shocking.

It's like, you fucking... You got your mouth on my dick and this is bad? Oh, good point. How are you fucking bad at this? That's true. And sometimes I'll chomp on it a little to be playful. I'm like, nah, don't play. This is work. This is a blow job. You're at work. You gotta put the... The braces. But no, it's...

I know what you mean, dude. Like the bad blowjob is, it is a shocker. Yeah, yeah. Well, all this extra stuff, it's like, you know, girls are like, you put an ice cube in the mouth. You're like, no, come on. That's what the dick responds to, freezing cold temperatures. Yes, exactly. And it ain't broke. Yeah. Don't try to fix it with an ice cube or a tongue ring or whatever. Just stick to the fundamentals like a white basketball player in the 50s.

No 360 dunk. Don't try to alley-oop or anything. I was with you until you said white basketball in the 50s. That wasn't exactly peak basketball. Well, I'm just talking. That's all it takes? Yeah. Well, yeah. I'm just saying, give us the lob. The underhand. Yeah. Yeah. Put it in the hole.

Dude, I love, yeah, I love like when you get a bad one, you're like, how is this fucking possible? I know. It's crazy. But it's happened. But then sometimes you get someone who's so good that you're just like, where the fuck have you been studying? I know. Where did you pick up this level? Sometimes you want to assume it's just a gift. Yes. But you're like, 247. Ha, ha, ha.

He's done it that many times. Something crazy. Yeah, college. College was old. She went to three different colleges, met a few NFL teams. Who knows? Hey, burps are in sync. In sync. Good band. Speaking of, how about that One Direction guy? That guy really went One Direction. We're bad. Well, we're really in sync this episode. He's in that movie Gravity. Hey!

How's it going, man? It's shaking. Sit down, we got you right here. Yeah, this is Winnie. Are you blind? Yes. One eye, I think. She's pretty blind. Oh yeah. Do you want coffee, alcohol, whatever you want. Let us know.

I think it's from South Central, right? It was like a street dog. He's a street dog from probably not a good part of L.A. Classics, South Central. Yeah. Because it blinds everybody. Oh, it's those dog fights, you know? They get you. That shit's real. Hey, man. Hey, look at this. He must be a champ. It's like seeing your teacher at the mall. You in the daylight. I know, right?

Is this crazy? Like, do you have the week off and then you're back on next week? I try to get a hold of Michael Chain. He doesn't wake up till five. Yeah. Son of a bitch. Oh, yeah. No, I got kids, so I'm always... Oh, okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Sorry, what were you saying? So you're off this week, but you're back on next week or what? Yes. Yeah. We just did a four in a row run and those are always kind of heavy. Yeah. That fourth show is really taxing. Oh, yeah. It was a good run, man. I mean...

I'm complaining about four shows when the fourth show was Michael fucking Keaton. You know what I mean? Wow. The best. So, you know, it's all good. A little bit of tiredness never hurt nobody. You see him and you're like, this dude's got comedy chops too. Oh yeah, man. Started as a standup. Yeah. Incredible. You know, he's in Michael, Michael Douglas, I should say. Yeah. He's in villages for 12 minutes.

That's how good he is. He steals it if you really count the run time. I love that. It's like when you count up the actual amount of football that's played. Right, right. I think that's 19. Yeah, it's like 45 seconds. Yeah. Yeah. No, he's a beast and he's still got it. 100 and still wants to give it. Like that's one of my favorites, Easter candy when he's just doing like quirky ass characters.

Yeah, he did like Night Shift back in the day. Oh, yeah. He did all the baby's comedies too. He's so damn good. He's the actor's actor. Like, he really wants to like...

find it you know what i mean yeah support it you know what i mean service it he's just a good dude and him he's his he's my mom's like number one really i gotta put a towel down batman comes on oh my god my keith oh she has an interesting to her him jeff goldblum goldblum is a symbol though yeah goldblum's like six nine that doesn't for everybody that doesn't for everybody exactly super tall

And he plays the piano, jazz piano. Oh, yeah, the Semitic good looks. Come on, look at that. What is that? What is that, Grecian? What are those genes? He's got to be Israeli. Like Croatian? Is it Israeli? I assume. Is he? No way. It's got to be Israeli. That makes so much sense. A Jew in show business? Jeff Goldblum. Yeah. I'm pretty sure it's Israeli. Look at that mug. I mean, that's what Gaza's after, that face right there. That's propaganda. Yeah.

What a... Who's been... Oh, dude, California Split. That's right. He pops up in like every 70s movie. Oh, yeah. Who's been like a surprise great host? Russian and Russian. Because Bargassi crushed both times, I thought. He's just... Oh, yeah. He nails what he does. Yeah. He really does. And he's such a nice guy, too. So... That cooking one you did with him was so good. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. That shit is like...

I don't know, man. Between that and George Washington, it's like everybody's favorite. Yes. But my personal favorite was the water slide shit. Oh, yeah. But yeah, when he won the soul food shit, like, yeah, he does fish out of water very well. Yes. Apologetic. Like, it shouldn't be me. You know what I mean? Right. I'll tell you, I think my favorite was them giving him the, like,

Howard University jacket. He's like, please take that off. Pull it up. That made me laugh a lot. But those fucking George Washington sketches are just incredible. Shout out to Mikey and Streeter.

Yeah. They're just such a solid, like, writing team. And shout out to Mikey Day, man. Like, he's such the people's champ as far as cast members that write. Oh, really? And service other cast members. Yeah, he, like, writes for the ensemble very well. I didn't know he wrote Streeter. I remember him doing the stand-up days. Killer writer. Yeah, he's a solid...

I did Mikey Day's Is It Cake show and I was like, I don't think they aired any jokes. It was a family show and he was like, yeah, you gotta stop. He was awesome though. Yeah, Mikey's one of the sweetest dudes in the world, man. And like, been on the track for a long time, like, wilding out season one. What? But also like,

I didn't know. Brownlings and shit like that. So he's just had a long run at it and is now getting shy. Nick Cannon low key behind like a lot of. A lot of that shit. Nick Cannon the guru. You know what I mean? Pete Davidson. Shout out to him. Wasn't Pete? Yeah, man. Pete. Fucking Taron. Taron. What? He went from Nick Cannon to Hamilton? Yeah. Holy. Not the traditional route. That's what you call arcing. Oh, yeah.

That's cool. You've been on it for so long. Were you there when, like, who was, like, considered the worst host? Wasn't Paris Hilton trash for it? She had a tough time. Yeah. She had a tough week. You know, I don't think she does comedy, or maybe she wasn't, like, getting a lot of the jokes, or, like, why people thought it was funny. Like, maybe it was to her, like, more taking shots as opposed to, like, no, everybody just, you know, gets jabbed at a little bit type thing. You know what I mean? Yeah. So...

But she's still a friend of the show. Like, she came to the 40th and shit and was, like, partying with Jay-Z and Beyonce behind us, kind of whatever, at their table.

That was kind of crazy. Yeah. Those nights are crazy. Like Prince is on stage with Dan Aykroyd. Wow. You know what I mean? And then behind me is like Jay-Z, Beyonce and like Paris Hilton like chatting. Damn. Are you used to it at this point? I don't think you ever get used to it because Goldblum was in the building that night too. Yeah. You know what I mean? It was just like that kind of shit is like, yo, I'm not second generational enough to ever get used to a lot of...

somewhat heroes of yours. Sure. And all being in the same vicinity like that, like it's nothing. Yeah, that's nice to hear because I feel like a lot of people get jaded over the years. You're there, what, 21 years now? Yeah, this is 22. 22? It's crazy. I love it. I love famous or talented people, especially a talented, famous person. Like, that shit is...

incredible to bump up against and I'm one of the worst I will tell them like yo I gotta tell you like we let the same thing that some people do to me like I love you so much like you don't even know blah blah blah blah blah

and hold them up from where they're trying to go so I can get the rest of my sentence out and all that shit. Yeah. Damn, that's awesome. I met you when I was handing out flyers once in Times Square. No way. It must have been like 18 years ago or something. And you were one of the only people to stop and be nice to me. See there? Thank you, man. And I was like, that's a good guy. I think I was like, comedy show tonight. And I was like, you should come by. And you were like, yeah.

Maybe I will. You didn't come, but just you stopping and giving me that. I remember those, though. Because you don't walk through Times Square that much unless you really are from out of town. You know what I mean? But I remember walking past that comedy club like twice. And there was always some poor soul that has got to drum up business.

in that insanely busy environment. It's like, oh, by the way, you know what I mean? You got all these distractions. That's actually better than when you'd have to do it in a non-busy section. Well, that's true. You just want the distraction of a lot of people as opposed to just another block of person a lot of the way. I'm going to get this guy. I see him coming. Yeah, I did it for years. And you get why people start lying because you get so desperate. You're like, David Letterman's coming.

Greg Giraldo, Patrice O'Neal. You start saying Richard Pryor is going to be there. Tina Fey. They're like, she doesn't do stand-alone. I'm trying anything here. And foot traffic-wise, it would always get a good audience for the show.

Like just net fishing Good enough Yeah It was like You got the job done I didn't realize Until I saw you I was like Oh shit that's a comedian I knew you were a comedian At the time I wouldn't have tried To bark a comedian in Right But by the time I saw you I was like Ah shit Might as well stay committed to it Yeah You're like Kenan's Ah fuck Yeah

Oh, shit. I saw Alec Baldwin's back on the show now, which is like... He came back. That was a cool revisit. You know, he's always been close to the show. Like, I think he's hosted it the most, probably. Especially, like, he was a damn near cast member for four years, you know? Yeah. He's a real one and just caught a bad hand. That whole shit situation was crazy. So to see him return and, like, that just is the power of the show. Like, the power of the show, like...

reflect in society like that always offers an opportunity for someone to play someone yes you know what i mean totally like jim gaffigan slides in as well yeah gaffigan sliding in dana carvey's just back yeah murder murdering on a regular yeah and hopping in and out of other other sketches too like he just tossed a jennifer coolidge in there that he didn't even have you know what i mean so he just learned it at the last minute this guy was like

Well, he's there. Been doing it for forever. Use him. It's like having Bo Jackson. That's what I'm saying. So like using my and Andy in that castrato shit last week too was just like, it's all so much fun. It's the best. I love it. I love to hear it. It really is. Do you still get tense? Because I heard Bill Hader once in an interview be like, I had to leave because it just made me insane. But the pressure every week is, because Mark and I will hone a bit for like a year and a half.

Yeah, 100%. But you guys, it's every week. It is. I feel like that pressure cooker thing is, like, way heavier on the writers. Because writing and, like, doing comedy, number one, is the hardest thing ever. But, like, formulating comedy has got to be one of the most insanely, like, torturous procedures ever. And I thank God that I was an actor first. You know what I'm saying? Right.

I don't like want that writer burden. I try to do as much as I can, but I'm never going to like fake the funk and be like, no, I'm going to write by myself every week and I'm just going to get really good at writing. Like I don't have interest in torturing myself. But I respect them. That's why I try not to like.

Tank sketches or, you know, giggle through things or you try to hold back the breaking of the fourth. Yes, people abuse the breaking. You know, I try to laugh when I'm off camera or something, you know, just whatever I can do to kind of like ease the pain of the tension of being a writer at that place because it's got to be insanely like pressure-ish. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

And I think it's bittersweet now because the world is so nutty. We've got the politics, we've got the wars, we've got all the shooting, whatever it is. And so everybody goes, you've got a ton of material. And you're like, it's actually kind of harder almost. It really isn't. Like, shout out to Emil because he finally, you know, got his update. He's been working on that for a couple weeks. But, you know, he finally got to do it. Yeah. And what a crazy time. I think he's the first. I mean, I don't know if he's the first one to, like, talk about, like, the Middle East issues. Oh, right. But, like.

Rami kind of threw it. Rami threw it, but cast member-wise. I remember Aristotle was somewhat doing that, but he was doing more characters like robots and shit like that. He wasn't talking about being from Lebanon. You know what I'm saying? That shit's a first for me to listen to. It's such a tough...

We don't know what to do on either side if you're not from there kind of thing. So to make a bit out of it that'll work on update, which is like all jokes, that shit had to be tough. Yeah. But that's all you can do. Anytime comedians start to like really try to dissect the Middle East, it's like, dude. Yeah.

go make it a dick joke do the joke yeah that's find it and and do that but i saw people even like i saw the bit and it was funny and i saw people commenting even on like immediately like yeah homosexuality and it's like no he's not trying to really break down the middle east it's still a bit it's still a joke right logic is so even if you're going for the joke you're getting that is my point i guess yeah i mean there is no pleasing of everybody either you know what i'm saying so like

Yeah, I mean, I try to tell them, like, just try to relax and do what you think is funny kind of thing, but...

It's really hard, you know what I mean? Because they're really trying to fill... Well, they're trying to check a bunch of boxes for people, which is tough. Because there's always going to be somebody that was just like, not funny. Right. Or like, go home, this shit is lame, blah, blah, blah. Yep. When everybody else, like 99% of people are just like, yeah, good effort. You know what I mean? It was pretty funny, blah, blah, blah. Or I loved it. Yeah. You know, just above the line kind of stuff. But there's always some...

Pice of shit. Yep. They're out there. You know what I mean? It just wants to take shots, I guess. It's inevitable. But it is fun when Jost and Che go at each other. 100%. Because they kind of get ahead of it. Yeah. Them exchanging jokes is probably one of the greatest bits that Data's ever had. That's the best. You know what I mean? It just really is one of those like, all right, let's break down these tension walls. Yes. About being so sensitive these days or whatever. Yeah.

Even if it's only for 15 minutes at Christmas. Yeah, getting Jost to say some fucked up black stereotype and he's just like gritting his teeth, but he's got to get it out and Che's just loving it. It's perfect comedy. And vice versa. Like when Che has to say something hyper racist too, it's just as great. Yeah.

You know, it's just as great. Good times. Yeah. I love that you still love it. I mean, those anniversaries to me, it's just like a big love fest. Like, I remember the 40 had Eddie Murphy. Yeah. And Larry David had the line of the night. Yeah. Where he walked out and he goes, I don't want to do this. I don't want to be here. There he is. Fantastic. From the crowd, even. And look at that crowd. But it's funny. Larry's another funny one because obviously we all know how...

much of a genius he is but like he wasn't douglas but yeah but snl wasn't like his breaking ground somebody's right it's a long days yeah but like same with sandler even sandler made the joke when he came back like you know norm's got one of the all-time great models i think look at little john higgins

Oh, geez. Just fucking manifesting. Whoa. That's crazy. Holy shit. That's wild. You want that cheek. You want that cheek. Meadows, Vanessa. That's wild. Oh, what's her face? When did Vanessa have time to sit in the audience? That's so funny. Oh, yeah, there's Meadows.

Yeah. What's her name again? Catherine Zeta-Jones. The old entrapment ass. Entrapment ass. Pull that flip-flop. Get that ass out of there, Lazy. Yeah, see? Every man in history knows that ass. Entrapment ass. That's all we had for it. There wasn't a lot of ass play in the 90s, I feel like. No, it was very, like, taboo. It was tit-based. Yes. It was titillating. Look at that titillating. Oh, my God.

Get that under that laser. Yeah. Every guy around that. The main selling point of the trailer, I think. Yeah, I think so. It got me. We got to go see this one moment when she's sneaking under the laser. I don't even remember what the rest of the movie is about. No one does.

Sean Connery being... This is a weird part of Connery's career when he did like Finding Forrester. It's not even a great ass, to be honest. Yeah, no, it gets flat immediately. Exactly, exactly. It's the arch at first. She's doing it blindfolded, yeah. Yeah. It's the arch at the back. It's the arch. Yeah.

And then pancake it. Ah, it ends terribly. That's like Godfather 3. It started out great, and then it's over.

Beginning and end pretty solid. Middle is just a whole lot of tangle. A whole lot of tangle. That's true. But yeah, yeah. Also, I think HPV oral. Yeah, Michael Douglas. Oh, throat cancer. Man. Wow. Doing it the right way. That's top shelf. Getting that cancer the right way. He got the good stuff. You know? Come on. I love it.

Oh, yeah. If you got to get it. Man. So many groups of people. How many times have you almost left? Left the show? Yeah. Was there ever like, ah, fuck it, I'm out, and then you come back? Only once in the beginning where I didn't really understand my place there. Oh, yeah. Because I was coming from a working environment where I was a utilizable kind of tool, and then I went into a place where I was like,

really low on the like experience totem pole like doing the show is one thing but like it's a show where people create the show you know like it's in their hands every single week like they're you know this core group of people has nothing there's no show yeah I'm saying it's not like they're just gonna like

hit the crew up and be like, y'all got any ideas this week? You know what I mean? Like that core group of people that they have on staff as writers and cast members build the show. And I didn't have that kind of experience. And I kept winding up

Donut it is what I like to call it, where you just have zero in the show kind of thing. Oh, no. And one day I just, like, got really upset. Did anyone help you out? Were any of the vets there, like, dude, just, like, be patient? They all did. I mean, like, not necessarily the, like, sit you down patience convo, but, like, when it was, like, work time, if people had an idea, they would come to you and be like, you know, let's work on this or let's work on that or let's write something next week or something like that. And then, like,

Higgins was great and Shoemaker was great at like kind of overseeing and pairing people like they paired me and Colin together and we shared an office for like eight years. Wow. And that was like very helpful. You're like the guy in high school who just keeps staying in. You're just meeting a new... I'm super senior. Yeah. I'm a kind of hey. 100%. Yes, yes, exactly. Yeah. Damn. Yeah. So 21 years. I mean that is... Yeah. It's crazy because I feel like

a lot of these casts kind of get taken for granted. 100%. Like, they're not really appreciated. Like, it is crazy to look back and you're like, oh man, it was like Bill Hader and Kristen Wiig. Crazy. It's kind of... A lot of people are...

It's weird how comedy is usually before it's time. Like when it's really good, it's usually before it's time. Like it echoes for a while. Like shit, that shit was solid. You know what I mean? Like how long have we looked back on like Richard Pryor shit? Yeah. You know what I mean? For forever kind of shit. So yeah, it's weird how, like The Simpsons is always like way ahead of itself. That's true. You know, like when they're really sharp, they're like constantly predicting the future or whatever or...

it seems like shaping senses of humor for later on as opposed to like in the moment. Like the in the moment people have the sense of humor of the previous people. You know what I mean? Yes. Yeah, you're like... Like learning the nuance or whatever. Like Michael J. Fox. You know, your kids are going to love it. Yeah. You know, back to the future. Sometimes you're ever on stage or you're bombing and you're like, this will... You'll catch up to this in like two years. It will be when you understand how I got to watch this funny. Yes, exactly. You have to catch up to that. But you feel like an idiot because you're like...

bombing but you guys are wrong but it was one of my favorite things in the world like when we have a joke that we just know is gonna work and it gets nothing yes like yo what the fuck just happened it makes me laugh every time it'll kill rehearsal and then yeah it kills somewhere that's how it wound up there yeah and then it's just like

Yeah. Norm is the king of that. I mean, how many Norm bombs and groans does he get? And millions of people will go back to YouTube and watch that shit later, like, that was amazing. But it's bombing in the room. In the room, it's crazy. And, yeah, it's a special place because you can watch archival stuff like that, like Eddie Murphy's first weekend update appearance. Whoa. You know what I mean? And I think it was... Was it Gumby? Yeah.

I think it was only dress rehearsal because it didn't go well because they didn't know him. You know what I mean? Right. They were just kind of giving it up. But he was telling like jokes that would work for anyone. You know what I mean? Like real jokes. But the fact that they were just getting to know him, he was getting smattered applause, which is so crazy. Wow.

Maybe the best cast member, like pound for pound. I mean, the guy can do stand up acting. He's funny as hell. The sketches are great. The Gumby, the Mr. Robinson's neighborhood. I mean, it's like still funny to this day, you know,

obviously 48 hours uh then he can do nutty professor he can do dr doolittle i mean it's freaking dream girls yeah he's doing a lot of he's doing a lot of different stuff yeah man versi tile yes yeah and just was in it immediately age what 719 doing stand-up at fortnite whatever you know whatever the story is just crazy always is murdered and still has a talent highly anticipated one when he came back and hosted you think

He was the longest prodigal son, yeah. Like, we had, it was him and Sandler. Yeah. So, like, Sandler came in April. Wow. And then we were off for the summer, and during the summer, they announced Murphy was doing Christmas. I was like, this motherfucking Lorne Michaels is a gangster. Yeah. He does not take a moment off. Like, yeah, it's summertime, but I'm also going to, like, lock in both these goats in the same year after it's been 30 for both. Hell yeah. Insane. Who do you want that's never hosted?

Cosby. No, I'm just kidding. Who do I want that hasn't? There's a few people. Like, Denzel would be interesting. Oh, yeah. You know?

Like, Brad Pitt did the cold open during COVID, but, you know, it was a pre-tape thing at his house, so we didn't get to, like, work with him necessarily. Yeah, he's a big comedy fan, too. Yeah, and, you know, I think he would, like, be interesting. Tom Cruise. Oh, yeah. How is Tom Cruise not funny? You know, superstar weirdos. I don't think he's funny. That would be cool. He's funny in Tropic Thunder. Oh, that's true. He killed that role. Lawrence Fishburne. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Those legends, Wesley Snipes. Has Nicholson ever hosted or no? No. Yeah, I mean, not since I've been there. Interesting. Got to get the blow for that one. Yeah, that would be- Is it a thing of that era maybe if you're too A-list and considered almost too cool? It's almost too vulnerable? He comes from that era, yeah. Yeah. We don't do television. I'm a movie star. Right. Oh, there he is. But he came to the 40th. Oh, okay. Damn. So I don't know if he's ever hosted. Apparently, huge dong. Nicholson? Yeah. Yeah.

Fucked a bunch of porn stars back in the day. Is that right? They all went on Howard Stern and talked about it. Is that why he's so happy? I guess so. That and the blow. He's just always smiling. Oh, yeah. He is the man. That's so funny. Your search history is going to be great. There it is. Well endowed. Well endowed. I mean, the old Howard Stern show was wild.

Well, Corey, Angelica Houston? And she's a tall lady. And I don't think it ended on good terms with them, so she meant this. It never does. Yeah. No. That's the burden of the big D. When it's time to move on, they have a hard time letting go. You can't contain Jack.

Yeah, but that does get rough when you're like late 80s and you're not with someone. If you're Nicholson, settle down like late 60s, early 70s. Does he have kids? He's got kids. Oh, he does. But I don't think he's with anyone. Yeah. Yeah, his kid's in a new movie. He looks just like him. Yeah, that was like frowned upon. Right. Yeah. Oh, shit. That's crazy, right? That is crazy. Oh, that's his sudden smile too. Got it. Damn. I guess he's got a big dick too. He looks happy. He's a very happy guy. He looks like a very happy guy. Damn. Damn.

I had no idea. Well, I don't think these guys, you know, like Leo, they want to just run the clock out. They're all the way out. They're having a good time. Yeah, what the hell am I doing trying to tell Nicholson how to live his life? Yeah. Dude, I should shut the fuck up. Let's swing that old dong around Hollywood for two more years. Somebody's pattering that thing. That's true.

He's got money in the bank. Anytime there's a new Batman thing, I think he gets money. He does. He made the best deal in the business. Crazy. What is he? He got a merch deal? He got merch. When he was Joker, it was like, I don't know what the exact deal was, but it was like, yeah, I think merch, action figures, all that shit. Incredible. Yeah, the VHS sales, $10 million up front, $4 million price cut.

And sequels. Earnings from future sequels. Ten Batmans since then. Future sequels. That's wild. Genius. If only I had done that with Fast and Furious. Well, that's insane because...

No one thought to do that, and it wasn't the first time they'd done Batman. It's like, no, this is already a thing. Like, we should all be thinking like this. Yeah. He was the only one that was just like, well, probably the only one that could. Yeah, he had the pull. That shit's wild. Well, back then, they weren't like, now we have Fast and Furious 9, Batman 12. And I wonder if it was him or his agent. Like, who was the real business brain there? It's got to be the Jew. Right? It's got to be. Right? Yeah.

Is there any movies you've had to turn down because of SNL? That you're like, shit, I wish I did that kind of? Oh, I'm sure. I don't know what they are, but SNL is from October to May. So I see people that leave and then all of a sudden they're able to do five a year kind of thing. And it's like, oh, well, yeah, I'm definitely probably not available for a lot of things, but...

I couldn't tell you what they were. Like, I think my reps softened that blow for me and just be like, we'll save him from that. Like knowing that he's going to miss this opportunity. Right. That's nice. But I do see them. Like I see like when Chris did, um, what was the one that he were like wrote and directed five something episodes.

chris chris rock sorry oh oh because oh uh i know what you're talking about five top five top five thank you where's the alcoholic yeah like that one i even auditioned for and then wound up not getting it what that one stung which part did you audition for i think i think tracy's part so it didn't really like stick that bad and like that you know like of course damn either tracy or jb's role one of the two either one of those right

But, like, look at that cast. It would have been, like, great to have been around that chase. You know what I mean? Just like fam. Wow. Maybe DMX's last stand. Damn. That was, like, probably the best part of the movie, too. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Regan. I forgot Regan was the radio guy. Amazing. Oh, look at that. Ben Vereen. It's like everybody in that movie. Yeah, Ben Vereen. What, uh...

What do you do when you're off SNL? Do you have any things you're just like... You don't do anything or do you just chill or do you have hobbies or what? Yeah, it's a mixture of the like balance the swing the whole other way and not really do much kind of thing. Like I'm just...

On call waiting on my kids. Like, kids are getting out of school in an hour. You know what I mean? Kind of shit. And then, like, seeing what they're doing all day. And then, like, at nighttime, kick it or not. Like, really feel good about going to bed in weeks off kind of shit. But, yeah, hypernormal. I don't, like, tinker at all. I wish I did. No. No. You're working hard enough. And don't do stand-up. You know what I mean? It's a dedication. I respect it too much to, like,

you know, do a special just because I have a name. Right. Like, I've always been a big fan of stand-up and have realized early that it's not my commitment to do. You hear that, Chris Kattan? Come on. It's a real dedication, for real. And I don't think, it's almost like,

Being in the street, you can't start late. Right, right. You can't do something else and then go do that. Right. Good point. You got to do that first. Yeah, you can't sell crack at 50. Yeah, exactly. You got to start going backwards. Right, right. All right. I saw some interview with you where you said, and I could be getting this wrong, but a manager fucked you over when you were super young. Yeah.

An accountant. An accountant. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's like the biggest fear ever. Yeah. It is, but it wasn't my fear at the time because I didn't know any better. And I was a minor when we gave him power of attorney. Damn. And got that paperwork from the drugstore.

And at the time, I was like, we're in Eckerd right now. Like legal paperwork. Yeah, notary. Documents, you know what I mean? Like out of some aisle in the fucking. Wow. Whatever the fuck. They just had like a power of attorney document or some shit. Some doc that was able to like give them that.

And it was fine until it wasn't. You know what I'm saying? And then, yeah, like... Is this all that? Sued in one... Time or Mighty Ducks time? It was, like, late in the Nickelodeon run. Wow. So it was, like, when I was, like, 70. As far as Nickelodeon minors, you got off easy. I definitely did. Yeah. Like, I went through clean because we were trailblazing. So, like, nobody was cocky enough to try things like that because...

It was, there was no, like, you can just dismiss people's parents. Like, our parents have been like, what are you talking about? Like, we're not stepping out from anything. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. You would have been easy to catch. I mean, you're a squeezable here. People, I got my cheeks pinched. But it was never like around the business. It was always like, I took a typing class in Atlanta one time. Right, right. I mean, I was like people in the hood or whatever, but.

Damn. Yeah, it was very innocent back then. God, it's scary, but you've been on my TV for so long. Yeah, my whole life. It's the only job I've ever had. Heavyweights? You name it. Oh, my God, that's right. You're in heavyweights. Yeah, that shit was a good time. Were you...

When they took this money from you, or when this guy took this money from you, I mean, what was your reaction? Were you just like, fuck this business, fuck everything? Or were you kind of like, eh? No, it was targeted directly towards that person. It was like, what a piece of shit. I will fucking murder him. And they just don't know. Luckily, it never went that far. But I literally sat in his driveway crying.

with me and my buddy like overnight once like I found out because the way I found out I was buying a house so I thought and he didn't show up with the down payment check you know what I mean so I'm sitting in the fucking closing office in front of like four strange white people and like

they're looking at me just like twiddling their thumbs and shit and like the time comes and then it's five minutes past and then it's ten minutes past I'm like I don't know where they're gonna start calling he's not answering the phone damn you know what I mean weirdly enough and it's mad early bro like I had to get up to do this shit and like get dressed yeah and like go over there and he just didn't show up so like it was highly embarrassing and then I'd like

Left there, blew his phone up the whole day, didn't answer. And then I sat in his driveway all night. And so he called me the next morning like, hey, are you in my driveway? And I was like, yeah, I've been sitting here all night because there's an echo in the background. You know what I mean? And he's like, yeah, one of my neighbors told me that there's been a car in my driveway all night. I'm like, yeah, motherfucker. Like, what the fuck, bro? Like you didn't show up with like what's going on and all this shit. And it just like unfolded from there. And did he come clean about this or what?

He never came clean personally, but the cards were on the table. I sued him and won, but can't collect or whatever. So it's just pointless. I moved on pretty quickly. I moved on right away because I realized...

I didn't have a cushion to even dwell on. I just had to get back to work. I thought I was going to just come home to Atlanta and kind of chill and work. Yeah. And I just moved right back to L.A. and just got back to it. Damn. Yeah. It seems like a common story. Seinfeld, some guy ripped him off. Dane Cook's brother stole. Yeah, there's pieces of shit in the world. He went back on tour in his, like, 70s. Yeah. The manager stole his retirement fund.

Yikes. It's just crazy. It's crazy. But this, I mean, this is back when being fat was weird. That's classic. Yes. That is a classic. And you could just, I think we squeezed that movie in at the last minute to where you could do a movie like that. Right. It's a killer. It was the last one. I mean. It was so good. It's funny for an adult, too.

Because it's kind of dark. Shout out to Sean. I spoke to Sean yesterday, actually, on Instagram. And Sean was at the height of his being funny as a kid. Age, right, in this movie. Just murdered it. He's at a tough job. Shout out to Aaron. Look at the before and after of Aaron. Like, just started shredding himself. He's just amazing. Good dude. And it was a weird cross-section of, like,

Mighty ducks one people and mighty ducks two people right in the movie inside my first time meeting Aaron Mm-hmm, but yeah, we had a good time shout out to Ben Stiller man. That was fun. Shout out to Judd making shit for a long time. Yeah, he wrote Celtic pride also Judd's been in the trenches

Yeah. Covert. That was the first time meeting covert. First time meeting Vig. Look at young Paul. Oh, young Vig. Vig's in there. Yeah. That's right. He's the girl in that one. Pedigree on that one. Yeah. First time meeting fucking Pete. Pete fucking director. He directed the Rihanna fucking Navy Robots movie. What? Who's the director of that? Pete Heavyweights. I forget his last name.

Pete Berg. Yeah, exactly. That guy, oh man, I just watched this movie. Funniest shit and then just pivoted into being a director. Like, big time movie director. He's in that movie Last Seduction. Great movie. That's an awesome one. Yeah, he was a brilliant actor for forever. David Bowie. Directed Hancock, I think. Still in mirror. Like,

bro. Tom Hidges, Tambor. Wow. The movie is chock full of motherfuckers. Jesus. Now, I assume, I know you're spoken for, but if you're a kid in these young movies, you get the ladies going, I watched you when I was 15. My brother.

I love you. Like Bob Saget got all that dad, you know, daddy issue ass. The dad love? Yeah, yeah. I assume, you know, these girls grow up with you and then they see you at a nightclub when you're 28 and they're just like, oh my God. I don't know if it's from heavyweights though. Yeah.

Yeah, it might have been Snakes on the Plane or something. Right, you were in Snakes on the Plane. Yeah, yeah. Snakes on the Plane, Wieners, I've been out there. Bad Albert, oh yeah. Yeah, we've been out there for a while. Yeah, what do you get recognized? I mean, SNL is the main thing, but is there a movie you get recognized for the most? I feel like Good Burger's up there. Yeah. Yeah, Good Burger's up there. Quotable. But yeah, a lot of all that Kenan and Kel, like Nickelodeon era, 90s era, good stuff.

Yeah, I watched it. Yeah, it depends on the person. Oh, you were on Steve Harvey's show? Because you do a hell of a family feud. Thank you. Yeah, that's what makes it easy for me is because I know him from doing his show. We did it like five times, me and Kel, back in the day.

Those good times. Steve Harvey's a cool guy, a funny guy, but he really has one move. You know, he's on Family Feud. He goes, so what's something you put in a woman's vagina? And a guy goes, a dick? And he goes, just the big eyes. And then he won't even let the guy talk. It's what I like to call his ham time. There it is. Ham time. That's it. It's ham because he's looking. And they give him softballs, beach balls, all sorts. Yes.

Yes! Because in the answers even now, they're just looking for the active moments for Steve to just go off on a tangent for seven minutes. The greatest one that I watch on a regular basis, it's tucked into Family Feud's greatest moments or whatever kind of thing. But it's when this guy gives the exact same answer in his answer as the question or something. He's like, the question is like,

something about the White House or something like that. And then he's like,

Oh, if you don't want someone to stay somewhere that's not the White House, where would you put them? And the guy says the White House or something. And he goes off on a fucking tangent for fucking 12 minutes. It is the greatest shit ever because he's going back and forth with this other guy who has like a loud laugh. And it's like, hey, this season of football, stop being a baby and play some bets on the game already. With my bookie, it couldn't be easier with promos like weekly risk free boosts.

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What a push gig, though. Jesus Christ. You just bang these out. You make all this money and you're done. You probably get a whole year's worth done. My man, he does it in two weeks. Crazy. Wow. The whole season, like maybe a week and a half, only because he takes breaks. Like he can really do the whole season in like five days or something crazy like that. Damn.

Because he's got it down to like he's also a workhorse, so he'll do seven a day. Yeah, because I think he has a talk show as well. And then he had a sitcom. He does movies. He wrote a book. I mean, the guy's insane. Printing money. Yeah. When you did LeVar Ball, was that your idea or did you write it? I don't know.

I can't remember where that one came from. I think we were all kind of aware of him at the same time. We were all kind of like, have you seen this guy? Maybe I brought it to Che and them or maybe Che brought it to me. I can't remember. But anytime somebody like that pops up and is just like claiming crazy shit or has got a crazy voice and just got a crazy story, it's ripe for update. I always get very excited when people like that just pop out of the world because...

It's sad because he's been quiet. You know what I mean? I don't have anything to make fun of, but the rent is too damn high guy was the same. Unbelievable. What an unbelievable character. He looks like the Lorax. You know what I mean? And it has all these Agent Orange conspiracy theories. That's why he wears gloves. Whoa. Just like a real character. There's real characters in the world. It's the best. Well, you're good at capturing these because these guys are all over the internet. Like the latest one with the-

the chicken sandwich tasting i mean that's so ripe it's all over tiktok as these guys and somebody had to do a joke shout out to keith lee it's shameful that we all recognize it yes yeah i'm not gonna lie y'all that's nasty in the car is perfect in the car

It's so good. I used to have a bit about one of these. I had a bit about one of these guys and I ran into one of the food guys and he's like, you have a bit shitting on one of my friends. Oh, damn. But it's playfully shitting because I do know it. Yes. Like I watch it. You see the boom guys. Like we all know them. It's crazy that this is all...

Like, you think you have this for you algorithm, but then it's just we all see the same shit. The exact same shit. The fact that these are popping up in my feed like it's real. That is so funny. Yeah. And you have a moment like you think people will get this, but it's actually the most shit we see is this. So I think the Please Don't Destroy guys wrote that one. Oh, no, those guys are great. They're funny. So, yeah, there's just the beauty of the show taking reality and then satirizing it, but making it look real.

just like itself. You know what I'm saying? Like, when Kiki hosted and we did the Keenan and Kel, like, reboot thing, sketch or whatever, which was her idea, by the way. Shout out to Kiki. And they rebuilt Rigby's, their fucking grocery store I grew up in. You know what I mean? The fake ass set. That shit was crazy. Yeah. It was like, what a fucking mind blow. How is Kel? He's great. All right. He's in L.A., you know,

Being the family man, you know, that was a year and a half or two years ago. It wasn't that long ago. When you're doing these characters, are you able to do them? Do you have to find something you like about them to mock them? Are you able to do it if you don't actually like the person you're impersonating? Yes. I mean, both. Like, if I don't like the person, it's a lot more fun to take them down a notch kind of thing and, like, showcase, you know, what we find to be somewhat ridiculous or exaggerated as far as, like,

what a normal person should seem like. But yeah, I try not to do any, you know, super duper malice. But at the same time, I am poking fun at people's existences. Like I realized a little too late that Neil deGrasse Tyson doesn't like my approach. Really? Because I'm...

Yeah, he considers himself to be probably very cool in his right. You know what I mean? Like that motherfucker wears fedoras and shit. So I think he thinks he's very tall. Yeah. I mean, he's a big guy. But my approach to him is so that's great. My take on him, like he's just so when he talks, he's just that's what he sounds like to me. Yeah. Like very educated and nerdy. Yes. Yeah.

And he gets off on the solar system or some shit like that. Right. I talked to him once and I kind of overheard him being like, yeah, so that was, you know, like, what's up with, like, you think I talk like her or some shit like that? Really? Wow. And I was like, oh, my bad, bro. Like, I was going kind of hard in that direction of making you a little nerdier than you think you are kind of thing. What?

you gotta exaggerate it a little look at that fucking vest come on you gotta make a choice too like yeah it's like a caricature you see some of these caricatures in the new yorker or something you see someone's nose like yeah yeah but the guy had to make a choice yeah that's the thing that stands out kind of thing exactly that's funny it's also like i'm looking for the fun like i don't know what the fun of talking about the solar system is except for maybe he thinks it's erotic is there anyone else that got pissed

Steve didn't love it in the beginning. Harvey? Yeah, he's another one that considers himself pretty gangster. Right. From Cleveland, grew up rough kind of thing or whatever. I can see that. So not to be just mocked like that, but it wasn't like mocking. It was more kind of, I don't know.

It's an homage, if you will, to the existence of that person. And that kind of a presence. Your tone, your vocal tone has a presence. You know what I mean? The way you are, it just rubs off on people. So that's why we do impressions of people. It's sad when a comic gets annoyed because you know what this is. Like, Neil, I get it. Or Trump, you're like, all right, you're not a comic. But a comic should get it. Yeah. You should just get it. But also it's...

One thing to hear a joke about yourself is another thing to watch someone pretend to be you. Yes. Probably. Yes. Because you're like, is that how I come off? Keenan Ivory Wayans, Arsenio was probably the craziest thing ever. The long fingers. Long fingers, big butt. When did Arsenio have a big butt? At what point? You know, it was just like walking around acting like that. I don't think he ever did. But that was his take on him for some reason. The flat top. Yeah. That was great. Yeah.

Oh, my God. Who, who, who, who, who? It's hilarious, bro. I didn't even notice he had a huge ass. Is that real? Yeah, he just, no, he padded that for that character. And I'm like, why? Yeah. I've seen it. It was the skinniest guy ever. Totally.

But it was the craziest shit. That was a big and little killer guy. Who were your guys growing up that you really looked up to? These guys, that whole Wayans family for sure. Murph. Like everybody on the black side of things that's done it pretty obviously. But Jim Carrey I feel like is one of the greatest performers overall. Yeah. Yeah.

Bernie was great, but yeah, that's what I'm saying. Everybody on the black side is good. Learned about like George Carlin and those guys later. And then you have like the SNL, you know, alumni for sure. Oh yeah. Well, Chris Rock said he had the, he had the problem where he couldn't get any airtime.

Yeah, he had a tough year. That's why he was only there for a year. But he still was able to find one of the greater sketches with Nat X. Like, it was always the best thing in the show. Yeah. It was just brilliant. You know what I mean? And it fit him and the time, you know, and it just, it worked. Yeah. But yeah, he had a tough time, you know. You know, Tracy had a tough time for a long time. Really?

It's weird that him and Tim Meadows weren't closer than I would like them to be in my mind. I think that everybody that works there that might be black should be in the brotherhood in my mind. We should all be close.

But, you know, they're two very different people at the same time. Oh, yeah. They're maybe the two most different people. Yeah. 100%. 100%. Like, night and fucking day. But to me, that doesn't matter. Like, I get along with whoever. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

They both, you know, chose based on the reaction, you know what I mean, to be like, oh, this isn't what I was expecting, so I'm just going to go over here and do whatever. I can see Tim Meadows reading a book and Tracy Morgan yelling, I'm going to get you pregnant. Water and wine. I'm sorry. I'm trying to read. Yeah.

I said, I'm gonna get you pregnant. Damon doesn't get his due as a, as a hilarious guy. Like homie, the clown was amazing. Men on film. Uh, he, he did the homeless guy, I think kind of predating, uh, Tyrone Biggums. Oh yeah. Uh,

Damien was the original star. Yes. He was a great stand-up. He had a rough time on SNL, too. I don't even think he did the full season. It was like six weeks. It was some tough story. Yeah. But yeah, he had a tough time because it's another... I want to say stand-ups have a tough time. Yeah, why do you think that is?

It's because you're going from an individual pursuit to an ensemble pursuit. You know what I mean? And it's tough for stand-ups probably to play the black ground, if you will. Right. Also, yeah, you're right. It's like going from tennis to playing baseball or something. Yeah, and being in the outfield. Yeah. You know what I'm saying? And just like...

You get your moments, but it's not as cracking as the infield or something like that or whatever. Oh, I tell you to say all his sketches when he was a writer were like a guy walks into a room, there's a microphone, you know? So you like to do stand up is what you're saying. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Also, there was a Harvard kind of old school vibe, I think, back in the old days. Yeah. With the writers. That's what Jim Brewer used to say when he was on, right? That he was like, oh, I'm not like one of these...

you know, Harvard guys, you know? Yeah. And it's probably tough to match wits or have your wits on display. You know what I mean? Like I thought I was done with school, you know what I'm saying? Like we were like all in the sandbox, but like, no, like motherfuckers is really not going to laugh if they don't find it impressive. Yes. To make it impressive is like, usually something has to be really smart or some sort of reference that,

is eye-opening to people and it can't be the same old thing like it can't just be you know a black reference for the sake of the second time or the right time you know the first time is like yeah okay cool thanks for like enlightening us or whatever second or third time is like why are you excluding people in your thought process like you should be thinking just overall a dinner scene between a father and a son or you know a family arguing over some shit you know i mean yeah it's like

specifics based on like visual culture things or whatever because that's when like you start leaving shit out you know i mean yeah you know you're getting pocket laughs as opposed to like whole room laughs right it's hard i think for stand-ups to think like that 100 even want to engage in that i don't know who george harrison was when i started over there you know what i mean like i knew the beatles

But I didn't like our stage manager, Jenna, had a George Harrison, like cartoon pin on, you know what I mean? And I was like, who's that? She was like, George Harrison. I was like, yeah, still like asking the question. And she was like, he's one of these like there's like my sweet Lord. And I was like, oh, OK. But I genuinely didn't know that name. Yeah. That is a big name in a white culture, I would say. So, yeah.

It's a whole lot to take on while you're also trying to figure out your career and if it's working and it's live, you know what I mean? It's just a lot going on there. So I understand when people get confused or they start butting heads with it because...

It's not the normal situation, you know what I mean? Especially for a stand-up, like that's a fish out. If they had no acting experience kind of thing. Oh, yeah. You cheat out, you know what I mean? Downstage, upstairs, all this extra stuff. Right, right. On top of now I got to also engage in, you know,

and try to learn about like all these other cultures i may or may not have ever been interested in doing yeah i never had a super duper beatles interest but only because i grew up like listening to motown and gospel and like that it's just i didn't know kind of thing yeah it wasn't like i felt like i was missing anything until i knew i was and then once i knew i was i was like oh

So I feel like that can be daunting to people. And that's why they might have a tough time there. You got to learn the cheat out or as we call the Dave Grohl. You know what I'm saying? But yeah, like Mulaney said when he auditioned. You guys got rim shots, right? Mulaney said he just did his five-minute stand-up set when he auditioned because he was like, I'm not an actor really. Yeah. And that's totally fine. You know what I mean? And I think...

They do as good as they can with trying to ease that transition and some people take to it and some people tank to it. Thank you very much. Yes. Thank you very much. Yeah, I mean, a lot of the best stand-ups, I think, from SNL were the Weekend Update guys like Kevin Neelan, Norm MacDonald. Dennis Miller. That's the forum that's just like, it's just jokes. Right. So it doesn't matter about blocking. There's no blocking. Yeah.

Has anyone ever left the show? Because a lot of people leave the show to go do movies or a TV show or whatever. Has anyone ever left the show, kind of fizzled and tried to come back? Is that allowed? I don't know if they fizzled necessarily. The only like left and came back successfully at all that I know of is Parnell. Parnell was let go weirdly.

was doing very well he's good and continued to do well or something and was asked back or something like that interesting but yeah he's the only like left and come back i that i think i'm aware of yeah he's on a ton of movies yeah didn't daryl hammond come back for a second too i think he does the announcements yeah well i mean he's back for the announcement i don't know if he ever like left the show in his run though oh donahue left i never heard he's a writer right oh

Okay, interesting. I just feel like some people would freak out and be like, fuck it, I'm going back. It's almost like Brooks in Shawshank. He's like, you got to get me back in there. I can't live out in the world. Heartbreaking. Yeah, Brooks was here. Yeah, when you're watching movies and stuff in your free time, is it comedy or do you shift to drama?

I'm all over the place. There's not enough comedies anymore. There's no comedies to be seen right now. It's so sad. I'm always waiting on Seth Rogen or somebody to do some shit. That's been the mainstream thing. Or Kevin. Kevin and the Rock is like the Jumanji's is what we get nowadays as opposed to some sort of road trip or something. We just watched Road Trip last year. It holds up, man. I just miss...

the you know kind of like not as far back as airplane but those guys that would do those kind of movies or whatever totally um i mean joker too is that was todd phillips the goat yeah he's making a fucking musical if i see vampires suck is on like i'll watch that shit it's like they're being just silly and dumb

yes of course the the classics like the tropic thunders of it all but like that's where it felt like was the end of the road yes or like the freedom of wanting to be funny kind of thing yeah scary like we used to have austin powers i know that was wild there was three of them it's insane yeah there was okay i'm looking for that era but i watch whatever a lot of horror movies um

Not so much drama. I don't feel like crying, I guess. Yeah, yeah. But... Well, we wrote a movie. We wrote a classic kind of raunchy comedy. Nice. Trying to get it out there. We'll see. We're working on it. I mean, the basketball is... Oh, love it. They should just...

It should be allowed to be done. Yes. Like, there's supposed to be a freedom of speech. It's weird, too, because everybody goes, like, Blazing Saddles is a classic. And you're like, well, then let's do it again. Let's do that type. Well, that's what I'm saying. Like, let the audience tell you. Yeah. Like, they keep trying to suppress, but then you have the Shane Gillises that pop up out of that suppression. Right. In the moment, did you think, like, we're making a mistake by firing him in that moment? Sure.

I didn't really know much of the story and like it's above my pay grade what they do with people's lives and careers like that. Yeah. But if it was squashed between the people, then that's as far as it should have gone. But it's definitely weird not to give someone a chance. Yeah. And a chance to say their piece, a chance to whatever kind of thing. Cool. They had him back eventually. Yeah.

It's cool that he earned that regardless. Like, he got to that point in stature, career-wise or whatever, that it made sense to have him back. You know what I mean? And, like, he was a nice guy. You know what I mean? Good guy. Funny guy. Good guy. How to match how he grew up to...

sensibilities you know what I'm saying which is what everybody's trying to do and I think that was a 2020 2019 whatever time that was when he got the axe that was like kind of the height of everything being like super PC I've talked about it before but there was a list on CNN of people who have been cancelled this year and it was Weinstein Cosby and Shane haha

That's crazy. That's fair. How is he on the same level as those guys? Pretty unfair, yeah. Wow. Shane's not nearly as funny as Cosby. Come on. Shane is great. No, it was really unfair what they did to him. Yeah, that was ugly. And I think Lorne felt it too. Yeah, and the fact that it seemed like he and Bo and Yang squashed the beef. Yeah. That's what I'm saying. If there was even any beef. I don't even know if there was any. Right. Kobe beef. You know?

But, yeah, no, that was a cool moment. I mean, that's a stand-up who crushed on it, too. But Shane is definitely, like, not your traditional stand-up. And he'd made those sketches that... But I feel like it might have been tough on him. You know what I mean? Like, watching him host and, like, if you watch the show, he's pretty similar in every sketch. And that takes a toll on...

a few different things that takes a toll on the audience or eventually like just things start to become milder in reaction kind of thing. And that starts to fuck with people's heads kind of thing. And then when guys are just have a standup base, as opposed to like an actor base to rely on and play any character, like I'll play a fucking tree, you know what I mean? But I feel like standups, like if they're not getting the pop from the,

When I say something and I hear the pop of a laugh or some shit, I think it starts to like spiral motherfuckers out. Oh, yeah. Well, you know the old Rodney story on Caddyshack. I was just thinking this. Rodney was on Caddyshack. He's on the set and he leans over to, I don't know, Chevy Chase and he's like, I'm bombing out here. This is crazy. And Chevy's like, it's a movie. We can't laugh at you. We can't laugh at the jokes. I'll tell you, this crew is rough. Started panicking. Like, I don't know what the fuck is going on. Why am I here? Right. He's on a golf course. Like, oh, shit. Do you have an all-time favorite host when you've been there?

Hanks is up there. Chappelle's up there. You know, like Chappelle's is just like one of my favorites, you know, just legendary from killing himself on. Yeah. And like I was watching him before that. But like that was the the diamond has been formed out of the charcoal moment for me. And then on into the show or whatever.

So just a hyper fan of the dude and then got to actually be around him because he started hosting the show and shit. It's fantastic. Yeah. And then Tom Hanks is just one of the nicest fucking people on the planet. It's insane how someone can be that infamous. Baby blood. He's baby blood. Yeah. You know, that's what it is. It must be the sweetest blood on the planet. Yeah.

But yeah, he's just a genuinely like hard working, works hard at being a nice guy kind of thing. Yeah. He seems it. It's genuine, but he also works at it. Also fascinating. The two sons are like a Meadows and a Morgan, you know, they couldn't be more opposites. Yeah. Yeah. I got a white rapper and then like a clean cut. Yeah. Chet is Tracy. Yeah. Yeah. A hundred percent. I don't know Chet because I guess he only hangs with rappers, but Colin is a good dude. Yeah. Yeah.

And a good actor. A hard work. Great actor. Great on Mad Men. Yeah. Great actor. Orange County. That was kind of. Oh, yeah. Great in Jumanji. This motherfucker popped up in Jumanji. I was like, yo, he's a gangster. That's real. Like, I'm an actor shit. What was the most uncomfortable episode with the host you had?

With the whole, I mean, the musical guest one was the crazy one. Ashley Simpson shit, that was the craziest thing ever. Oh, lip sync. Yeah, that was the craziest shit ever. I was watching that live. It was just, it was a sad night. You know, it felt very sad. Like, no matter what happens, like, who gets the blame for this? It's not a good look on her. She is the symbol of the moment. You know what I mean? And there's no escaping it for her. She can't be like, they fucked up. It wasn't me. Right. It's just like.

No. It's on your back and like it's been revealed and this, that, and the other. Why did she do that? She's not the only person. Just inexperienced, I think, because she was in her second probably year of being a performer from her sister's shadow kind of bullshit. Yeah. And just had probably never had that happen before. You know what I mean? A little Billy Vanilli moment.

Full career derailment. Oh, damn. Yeah. It is crazy because when you go out there, like Mark and I used to joke about this, you know, you have a bad late night set when we were starting out, you know. Yeah. Another show tomorrow. It's all right. Not enough people watch this shit anymore, but people still really watch. Oh, yeah. And that went around.

I guess if you really fail. Yeah. Yeah. There's a couple. Oh, everybody's waiting on the train wreck. Look who, look who, everyone covered it. Look at all those like outlets. I know. Mark Maron used to always say like, if I have a killer special, no one gives a shit. If I pee my pants up here. Yeah. It's going viral. You know what I mean? And she, I guess she just didn't wrangle the moment. She didn't just be like, stop.

What the fuck is going on? Blah, blah, blah. Get it right. And then actually perform. And that would have cleared that whole thing. But the fact that she just like let it go and like,

did a dance, you know what I mean? And then they went to commercial. And the show was kind of given this and wasn't prepared. You're right. Ouch. It was tough. So let me ask you, we, you know, we do stand up when I feel like sometimes I'll write a joke and I'm like, this is going to kill. And then it bombs. You guys have scheduled where you're like, this is going viral. I mean, this is the one. And then it, it doesn't get what you want. That happens a lot. Like,

We talk about that dynamic between Wednesday and Saturday, the two different audiences. Because Wednesday is a comedy minds audience. You know what I mean? Like they are the brains that carve current comedy. Yeah. So when you please that room, sometimes you're miles ahead of Joe Q Public. Right, right. So like things will go really well on Wednesday and tank their fucking ass off on Saturday. Yeah.

And it's the worst thing ever. So like anytime something goes really well on Wednesday, I'm like, all right, calm down, calm down, calm down. You know what I'm saying? Like, let's just make sure that bridge is connecting to like regular people. Because a lot of the time it really doesn't. And it's so confusing. Yeah. Where did we lose them? Why do we love this so much? And they could care less kind of thing. You know what I mean? Yeah. Hey, you guys came to see a comedy show, right? This is comedy. Yeah. Sometimes they just don't.

attached to it at all kind of thing but then when you're doing black jeopardy you must be like this is this is gonna hit yeah those are kind of impervious the ones that the more jokes the better yeah of course like the ones that are just like joke joke joke joke joke yeah that it's just too much to be denied there's pockets where it gets weird or quiet or whatever but there's something coming behind it or whatever oh yeah but when you're doing like

Just a sketch that's, you know, about an office or a conference room or, you know, an apartment, conversational party. You know, just you got to sell it. Shout out to fucking Emma Stone, who might be one of the greatest ever. Wow. Like watching her do that Mama Cass thing last year was one of the greatest things I've seen a host do. Like she's so committed. And I told him, like, you don't.

under commit to anything. And there's a, there's a few people that are like that, but she's so effortlessly locked in on everything. Like she does not half step ever. It's crazy. Like she is like, watch any one of the sketches she's done and she's hosted five times. Yeah. So there's a lot to choose from. Like she's always in it. She's never like weird in it or like smirking or anything like hyper committed. So like,

That shit right there. Oh, on the right. What? Incredible. And what a deep cut, too. Incredible, dog. Our friend Stavros, Hulki, a shout out to Stav, is in a new movie with her. What? Yorgos Lothimos one. And Stav was really pissed. His look is his ponytail, and he had to shave it for the movie. But then he met Emma Stone, and she had a fully shaved head. And he's like, I guess I can't complain. She's going hard. She's committed, dog. Yeah. Wow.

She's committed and she's not necessarily under the radar, but I don't know if people understand what a treasure she is. She just won Best Actor. She's crushing it. That's what I'm saying. Didn't she win twice? That's what I'm saying. Motherfuckers aren't giving her the Meryl Streep treatment like they need to. Has she hosted while you've been there, Streep?

I don't know if she's ever hosted. That's another one that would be super funny. She dated Martin Short. Or is she dating Martin Short? What? What is that? Is that real? I don't know. I keep reading about it.

Wow, good for Shorty. And I keep reading about these rumors and then Steve Martin's weirdly like may or may not have confirmed on his Instagram. I was like, Steve Martin's got Instagram? There's a lot to process. Wow. Just friends. Just friends. I don't buy it. That was one day ago, so they actually had to put out a statement. All right. They're definitely scissoring. Isn't Meryl Streep married? I thought she was. Is she married? I don't know.

Boy, imagine getting double teamed by Short and Martin. That's not too shabby. Just ribbing each other the whole time. Can you guys get back to... Yeah, strangers in the pussy. We got to ask you, because you've been famous for a long time, any Diddy Party invites? I've never been invited to the Diddy Parties, man. There you go. I always felt some sort of way about that shit. I'm just kidding. But no, thank God. I've never like...

I don't do the crossover music business thing. Like, my buddy writes a lot of music and shit like that, but I hate the studio. I can't sit there and listen to, like, that process over and over and over again. It's not for me. Just workshopping, like, their words? The whole thing. Like, they listen to the track a million times, and they just build it, like, in layers kind of thing. And it's just, it's the most minuscule building. Like, it's like doing a movie in a night. Ah.

because everything is just piece by piece by piece by piece by piece yeah and the end product yes is great but getting there man is like like i can't do editing rooms you know i mean i can't watch them recut a scene and rewind it and like right and just adjust it just a little bit you know i mean like oh the fucking sound effect doesn't match the hand on the door oh shit i can't do it

Wow. Yeah, well, that's one of those things kind of like a Catholic priest where you're like, what the hell? He didn't touch me, but now you're glad. Very, very. But they're getting 880. Yeah, the list is bananas. 880 mils. What? Yeah, and it's just one city's diocese, I believe, that's putting that out, right? Is it just Boston? I didn't know about this.

Yeah, they just settled for $880 million. Oh, the L.A. The L.A. Catholic Church. So funny. You were talking Diddy or the whole church. Diddy and the church together giving out a billy. Whoa. It's so crazy. That's a lot of tip. That's crazy. It's not just the Los Angeles arched diocese is giving out.

To 1,300. That's awful. Like, what is happening over there? Yeah. At least at Diddy's party, these victims might have got to meet Jay-Z or something. Yeah, something. This is way worse. Yeah. This is just Father Such-and-Such. Makes you respect Scientology. They keep this shit buttoned up.

Because, you know, they're doing weird stuff in there. They're not paying for shit. Yeah. They're good at silencing. They really are under wraps. It's impressive. Miscavige, whatever his name is? Yeah. Yes. The name not to be said. Yeah, like Tom Cruise. I mean, that guy's not even human.

He's retiring. I feel like he's stepping out of the church. He's starting to want to be more of an individual. Like he's given them enough, they might let him go? I don't know if they're going to let him go, but he's definitely been distancing lately. He doesn't talk about it much, you know what I mean, kind of thing. He's not recruiting the same kind of way. They've actually been very quiet. Like they don't have a new...

kind of, you know, it was Gibraltar and then it was Tom Cruise and like since then it's not kind of been nobody. They're just, they're also just a real estate portfolio. Right, right. Well, they had Will Smith but then I think he got a little wonky with the slap. Yeah, got a little wonky but

What is that? What was that? That was the craziest shit ever, too. Yeah, well, that goes back to the piss my pants thing. Like, Chris Rock couldn't have had more exposure than that. Damn, Danny Masterson? Oh, this is not a good roster. A bad roster. Yeah. No, their roster's not great. Yikes. Damn.

Well, I'm joining. Yeah, no signs you ups. You want to be successful. Doug E. Fresh. Doug E. Fresh. You got Nancy Cartwright from The Simpsons? Is that Marge or Lisa? Which one is that? Doug E. Fresh. It's Bart? It's Bart. I think you're right. Of course it's Bart. Of course it's Bart. Yeah, you nailed it. It's always the stars. Yeah. They only want the juice. Wow, The Simpsons is not enough? You need to join a cult?

Right. Young, probably. I guess so. She might be generational. There's a lot of people like that. You forget how old Scientology is. That's true. That's just been around. L. Ron Hobart. He's just a dude. I know. I guess you could say the same thing about Jesus, but he's not really. It's my favorite joke from like Bill Burr is one of my favorite jokes. Like, your guy's name is Ron? No. Your savior's name is Ron. Yeah.

Yeah, it's true. That was a good episode of SNL. Oh, yeah. He's great. I think he's just a brilliant mind and like a brilliant speaker of his thoughts. That's why I like Dave so much. You know what I mean? Just free thinking and like knows how to speak that funny. Yeah. It's great. Now the annoying 20 minutes or 60 minutes question. Yeah. Do you get...

Because Bill Burr and Dave Chappelle, both guys we just mentioned, both had a moment on stage in the monologue where they're like, Jesus, you guys are that sensitive? Like at one point Dave Chappelle said, sorry, Lorne, I thought this was a comedy show. Hilarious. Such a great line. Yeah. But like Bill Burr's set went viral. He's trashing white women. You know, he's just doing Bill Burr. And everybody's like, this is crazy. This is so offensive. And you're like, this is SNL. This is where Chevy Chase said the N-word. This is where, you know, I mean, people went after it. Yeah.

Did you find it's a little touchy over there? It's touchy everywhere. Yeah. And like, yeah, that audience comes in and like, there is some clutching of the pearls. There was clutching of the pearls on Nate. And I'm like, you guys are clutching pearls on Bargatze. The cleanest guy. You know, exactly. So. But also the weird thing is you're doing stand up first. Yeah. Like we're doing the road. We get a little warm up. I mean, I guess you guys have someone warming up the crowd a little, right? But.

With a song? I mean, Che does like exit procedures in kind of being a funny way kind of thing. Like, welcome to the show-ish. And then I sing a song. But like...

It's not a night of stand-up, no. It's not a traditional thing because most hosts still just do a monologue that's sketchy. Like sometimes they'll sing, sometimes other cast members will come out, you know what I mean, and do like Beetlejuices. Right. And also that it's live. The fact that we've been there too. We're at a live audience like knowing they're being taped.

Yeah. Like, we do those shows sometimes where you're like... I don't know why stand-ups choose to do that, honestly, because it's so not a forum for that. What, you mean like Chris Rock's special? Like, any stand-up that hosts a show when they do stand-up monologues, I'm always like...

He's taking a big swing on that, like relying on this audience who has probably been doing whatever all day to really be there for you to support this brilliance that you're throwing out. They're not going to receive it and support it the way you think they are. Right. Unless you're just on fire. You know what I'm saying? Sure. I feel like they used to, though. Like Carlin, Pryor, Andy Kaufman, Steve Martin, they all did stand-up on SNL back in the day, and it was...

It was... A bruce. Yes. Yeah. But I guess it's just the times. Yeah, it's just the times. I think everybody's just like...

Yeah. Yeah, man. What an awful note to send the show on if you don't crush that monologue. That's your fastball. Heavy ass train to get that. Yeah. It takes a while. But to answer your question, I think we do it because it's all we know. You know, we're like, this is my thing. It's like you put a beaver somewhere, he's going to start making a dam. I love that shit. Like, I love watching the host do it.

dressed in the next sketch just waiting on the next sketch to start just thinking about that monologue. That's so true. Was it good? Like in the dark we're all talking before the lights come up it was like what do you think? It was great. It was funny. It was like I don't know what they mean. I don't know if they were really feeling it or not. Shake it off. Is it ever a fight with you know I don't know if it's S&P or whatever but is it ever a fight you know whether it be like Louis or Burr or Shane any of these Chappelle

when they do the monologue, is there ever pushback where they're like, you got to let me say this line.

Yeah, as long as it's not against the censors, I'm sure they butt heads about the material. But Lauren's pretty good at being like, good luck. Yeah. Like whatever you want to do, like everybody knows better, basically. Like, you know what's offensive, you know not to curse, you know what I mean? You know not to like hyper go at women unless you really have a point. Right, right. And type shit if you're a man.

Yeah. Mulaney might be the best monologue, modern monologue guy. 100%. He can tap dance around the laser beams. The writing's always great. It's pretty clean. And his attitude is like, I don't care if you laugh or not, and it works. It works. You know what I mean? And his voice is almost at a place in time. Yeah. Right. And that, it serves it, because the monologue's kind of at a place in time. Yes. It really is. True. True.

So, yeah, he's like, if you want to butt heads against him, he's just like very good at being like, okay.

Yeah. Have fun with that. Right. We'll be here next week. We don't want to keep you because we know you've got to pick up your kid. Yeah. Thank you. Thanks for coming by, man. It's been fun. Great. I'm looking forward to part two. Hell yeah. Come by at night sometime. We'll have a drink. Yeah. You guys do a little party in here? Oh, yeah. A little spot. And if you audition for our movie, we'll think about it. Thank you. We'll Chris Rock you. Yeah.

I'm not above auditioning. No, no, come on. Just give me two or three takes to get it done. Yeah, dude, we're excited. I mean, hopefully you're on SNL as long as you can do it, man. You're crushing. Thank you, man. Hell yeah. I wish you were my dad. It's good times. Ah, great up with Kenan. Catch us on the road. I'll be at Hilarities November 21st through 23rd in Cleveland. Then I got a big bus tour starting in California.

February, so we got Charlotte, Richmond, Philly, Washington, D.C., Bethlehem, Tulsa, Austin, Dallas, Houston, New Orleans, Memphis. Memphis could use a fucking bump. Jesus Christ, Memphis, help me out. Knoxville, Nashville, Birmingham, Atlanta. I could go on forever, but it's samorell.com slash shows. Yeah, you guys see it there. It's going on the West Coast. I'm all over. I'm probably coming to your city. So just...

Go to the website, punchup.live.com or samorell.com. Buy tickets from those places. Don't hit us up like tickets are $150. Not through our sites, they're not. Mark, where are you going to be, bud? Hey, Poughkeepsie, right uptown, 30 minutes away at the Bardavon Theater, Torrington, Connecticut, Charleston, South Carolina. My Asheville date was moved because of Helene, so we'll rebook that.

NOLA coming downtown, hometown, Providence, Rhode Island, jumping into the Comedy Connection to run that hour. Wilkes-Barre, Englewood, New Jersey, Houston, Dallas, Phoenix, doing clubs there. Get those tickets. Nashville, doing the Ryman. Very exciting. One of the best. Oh, yeah. So, yeah, get tickets in Nashville. And, yeah, get Bodega Cat, Punch-Up.

slash us bodega we might be drunk tell a friend queef it up see ya ditties love you guys stay for my next fender juice close and norman's talking shit up in the same way up on the roof like lindanger rose i'm out to lunch here in new this woman doesn't work i'm true