Ep 189: Julian Edelman
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Hey, here we are folks, good to be here. We might be drunk, it's summertime, the birds are chirping, the sun is shining, we're drinking. The birds are dying. Are they? It's fucking hot, dude. Bird flu. Oh yeah. Yeah, it's too hot. Oh, the chickens got, uh, did you see that new one? No. Look it up, all the chickens, uh, the recall. Came home to roost. Yeah. What happened? Isn't there bird flu going on or something? I don't know. Monkey pox.

It's all going downhill. Well, Biden's doing great. He's talking about Putin to Zelensky. I don't find that to be an important distinction. No, no. Same guy. Yeah, Russia and Ukraine, very close. There's no friction at all. 2,000 pounds of frozen chicken recalled. Yeah. Woo, baby. A lot of chicken. Wow.

Man. Well, remember that happened with Firestone tires? What happened? The big recall? Oh, yeah. That was in the 90s.

What's wrong with the tires? They were blowing up on the highway and people were dying left and right, so they had to pull the tires out. Remember the Tylenol recall? That was a big one. That was a big one. They had to go every shelf in America, pull all the Tylenol down. God, what is... Because one Tylenol pill killed a kid. Whose mistake is that? Is it one guy or is it just like a factory? I think that was... I'm going to look it up. I'm going to look up Snopes. I think a guy was trying to kill...

somebody yeah and he puts cyanide in his tylenol yes and then that's why we have wrapped packages from this point on by the way that's the best advil commercial ever guess who didn't get poisoned using our stuff that's true that's true yeah tylenol they put but good on them for pulling them all i mean that's a a caring company i'd be like that's one pill no it's not care you have to pull them off

That's bad PR. Someone just drops dead. That's true. The Tylenol guy. People die driving every day. People die in a swimming pool. We're not pulling pools. This is not a great headline. The Tylenol murders. Oh, boy. There were a series of poisoning deaths resulting from drug tampering in the Chicago metropolitan area in 1982. Here's the worst PR of all time.

They laced the capsules with potassium cyanide. There you go. Seven people died. Seven? All right. But they had potassium. They didn't get any leg cramps. That's true. Get a banana. Yeah. The biggest PR fuck-up of all time.

He drank the Kool-Aid. Yeah. Remember that? Which it wasn't even Kool-Aid. It was Flavor-Aid. But Kool-Aid got fucked. That was Jonestown, right? That's right. The big cult. Yeah. They all did the Suicide Pact. That guy was fucking bonkers, Jim Jones. Oh, yeah. He was like another childhood...

Like, what, it started in California, right? Wasn't it? Yeah. And they moved to? No, he didn't start. He started in the Midwest, I think. And then he moved to California. Okay. And then he was like, I found this place outside the U.S. If you guys want to come. Little vacay. Ghana? Ghana? Yeah. Something like that. Look at, it was. Not going to live anymore. But.

Yeah, well, he was like an OG. He was like a comic in the 80s where there was no Netflix. This guy, his cult was so big that it blew up even without Netflix. And now he died. He's on Netflix. That's true. These guys, they always blow up after they die. Yeah. Post-hostomously. He was also fucking people in the cult. If you're going to have a cult, you may as well fuck the members. I think you have to. It's a waste. Yeah. What, are you going to be a noble cult leader? It's a cult. Yeah, you're right. They worship you. You might as well get a beach. Yeah.

The weird compound. Here's how you do it. You pull one of them aside and you're like, you're not like the other cult members. I think you're special. And they're like, me? He's like, and I'm the guy here. I started the cult. Exactly. If I'm saying you're special, there must be something to it. And they're like, wow. It shows how bad people need to be a part of something.

Oh, yeah. That they're like, I'll join this guy out in the middle of nowhere with no money and, you know, no running water. Oh, God. Remember? I mean, fraternities, like some of the frat stuff they would make you do. Oh. They'd be like, all right, so we're going to beat the shit out of you. Then we're going to dump boiling hot water on you. And then you're one of us. And you're like, can we do without all the violence? My initiation was much gayer. We had to eat the, you ever heard of it? Hey, there we go. I was just about to talk about eating jizz.

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Fully out here for a photo shoot and to do your guys' podcast, of course. You got hit by a migrant? No. No, I didn't get hit. I didn't get stung by a bee. I didn't do anything courageous or crazy or scary. I went to a theme park in Los Angeles area and we went on this water ride. And my daughter loved this water ride so much. On the last time, I said, you get one more ride. We got to go. We've been here for seven hours. Yeah.

She goes, we're going to hit this thing four times in a row, Dad. I want to do this thing four times in a row. And on these, it's like a rapid tube thing. Everyone sits in the area and you randomly get soaked. I got soaked four out of the four times of doing it in the last time right before we went to 101 temperature walking back to the car. So...

I go to sleep, and I was super conscientious with Lily. I was like, all right, we have this dirty-ass water on us. We need to go home, and we need to shower immediately. We go home, we shower. It's all piss.

In there. I wake up next day and my eye looks like this. What? Yeah. Well, first off, you're a great dad for not leaving her in the car. That's happening a lot in California. Is it? Is it? It's happening. I read these articles like a ton of time every day. Now, can we justify leaving in the car? Because, I mean, I've gone to like, you know, when you're at Shell gas station, you know, she's in the car. If it's like a minute, I think you can do it. Yeah. How old are we talking?

She's seven. She's seven. Oh, all right. She can turn the arrow. I lock it. I lock it. Is that like faux pas now? What am I supposed to bring her with me to go pay for the gas in the gas station? Don't feel weird to bring a seven-year-old with you in the men's room. It's weird. No good options. Tell that to Kevin. You don't bring her. There's one every episode.

We've gone on a lot of road trips and there's been those occasions where we go and we got to go to some podunk crazy town off the 99 this and there's like no one around and there'd be some weird people in there. And like it was before she could go by herself. Right. Like I'd have to go there and I'd take her in the men's room and

You know, sometimes they don't have those family bathrooms. It's pretty weird. Yeah. But you got to have your head on a swivel in there. Oh, yeah. You never know what you might, you know, see. Yeah. And you're in full dad mode. Like, so it's crazy. Especially at a gas station. Those are known homosexual hangouts. I thought that was road stops. Oh. Both. Hey, not when I was born. Remember?

Wasn't that the big joke in what was... Something about Mary. Something about Mary. Something about Mary. Yeah. The thing I love about Julian and Mark is we have all the same... Because I used to do a podcast with Julian. For those of you that don't know, Games With Names. Still doing it. It's great. It's a great pod. But all of our references were exactly the same. Yeah. Same age group. Same age. Age group. And we have... I mean, you're a little more knowledgeable in the thespian world.

of like comedy. Yeah. So like I always have to listen to like how you would talk about a movie and I'm like, all right, yeah, I'm going to go watch that movie. I don't say that I haven't seen the movie. I'll go watch it. And you know, he's leading me to some good movies. What did I lead you to? Do you remember? It was a Scorsese one that I haven't seen that you and a sophomore were arguing about.

No, I love that one. I love that one. He thinks that's the best movie. No, what was it? Which one did you say? Mean Streets? After Hours? Maybe it was After Hours. I hadn't seen that. Yeah, that's a good one. No, that's a classic. That's one of his faves, too. I'm sorry I just got jumped on. No, we wanted you to. I was expecting my B.I. No, what do you do with the I? You ice it? Benadryl? So, hit up my doc. He gave me this antibiotic ointment that I have to rub on every four hours. Clean. Just flew. Terrible idea. So bad for that. Yeah. Recycled air. Yeah.

But and then I have I take like a like a Benadryl like once every six hours. Hopefully it goes down by tomorrow. What's the shoot for? Oh, man. Can we say that?

Yeah, we can cut it. It's for Grindr. I feel like you're getting so much love right now because you crushed the roast. Right after the roast, it was cool. Great set. It was fun. And Sam was a huge part of that. I was always throwing him over questions and stuff. I was like, hey, what do you think about this? You already had. It was already great when you sent it. No, you tweaked something. Yeah.

To the room. He was part of the room. How about the Aaron Hernandez joke you had about him? Now, that guy was hung. I was like, he fucking nailed the delivery. He nailed the joke. Damn. That was good. I think you came to it that you threw something about an Aaron Hernandez joke in there. I don't think that was me. No, but you had something in there. And that joke actually made me think like, well, is it on limits? Yeah.

Can we do that? Because you said something. You added something like, I forgot which one it was. I'm sorry. He got hit in the head. I told Jeff Ross to make the Robert Kraft massage joke too. That was awful. No, but...

Yeah, I mean, I knew you would crush because Julian has so much humility. It's like what made him a great football player is that he just prepares, man. He just like, we were talking, you're doing the comedy store, right? You're like, I'm going up at the store. Oh, good for you. He's going to kill. You got to prepare. I was like shaking up there. This is the first time I've ever done this. You couldn't tell. No, at the comedy store. So I got that rep, which gave me...

going into this thing. And especially, all I could see was people that I knew, really. So like, at the comedy store, you're in front of no one you ever met. Thank God there was like a...

10 section of frat dudes that were freshly out of college or something that like love football so like i had a little you know because that that helps that helps yeah any kind of boost any kind of support yeah and so i went up there and did that and i was like shaking the whole time but it was cool to get that rep under because then you you know some of those jokes people laugh and then you you don't know whether to go another joke or not so you it gives you delivery like

pauses that you recognize that you'll get that I didn't know. You guys may know that shit. Like, oh, this is going to get a laugh. So you get like a four beat. And then we go into our joke. Yeah. I mean, so you're way better at comedy than we are at football.

For sure. Yeah, there was that one water bottle you dropped a couple times. From there on out, I was just always throwing them over. You threw the bathroom key to me once, and I dropped it, and I never lived with that. Well, you're a basketball guy. You should be able to catch. Yeah, I'm trained with the bathroom key. It's a weird shape. By the way, basketball, football, I'm surrounded by Jewish athletes. This is the first time in my life.

Well, two questions. When you were up there, did people do a bit that was similar to yours where you had to scratch yours? And how was Nikki Glaser in bed? No, we had a room. I'll answer the first question. Just joking. Yeah, it was a joke. Okay.

We had like a room and we would kind of go over our bit. They made me do my act. And then I went, I did like, I did like five, I did like 10, 12 minutes at the store. I only had five at the, on the show. Oh, interesting. And so, you know, I ran through a bunch of my jokes. Like I was running through my boys and then I ran it through the room, like their direct or their production team and stuff. And so then they write the day before when they're going onto the prompter and

They're like, all right. I'm like, no, you got to put this one on. And it was going all the way down to like the final bit. Right. So, and then Gronk went completely off script. Really? Full. Oh, man. Because I was sitting back there. I've never really seen this kind of stuff. So I'm sitting back there. I'm watching. I'm watching.

Like, you're seeing who's on the prompter. Like, when I watched Kevin Harkin on that thing, he's such a professional. I know. Like, he would go on this thing. He wouldn't even say anything, but he would say something along those lines. And then, like, he just – you could see who's pro in their world. Yeah. You know? And then, like, Gronk went on, and all our kind of guys went on. You're just kind of seeing they're like, are they going with the prompter? Oh, shit.

No, he's going off. What's he going to do? And Grog went fully off and just started. He's like, I had some jokes they didn't let me say, so I wanted to say them. Oh, yeah. It was crazy. Most watched thing on Netflix ever, by the way. Was it? Yeah. 70 million views. Oh, my gosh. So, yeah. I think it's a success. Yeah, I think so. It's like you and Cat Williams on Shea Shea. Those are like the two biggest things viewed this year. Man. Wow. What about our society? Yeah.

By the way, Kat's video was more of a roast than the fucking Tom Brady roast. Yeah. More strays. Yeah, he had a lot of people on that thing. Who? Kat Williams. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. I've seen clips. Oh, my God. I mean, but everyone's talked about it. It was like the Black Epstein list. Yeah. Name and names. We had a Shannon Sharp joke on there.

Oh, really? You know, it was about Kurt Reich. Oh, yeah. His penis. Burt Kreischer's liver is so black. Yeah. It even did like four hours on the Shinning Show podcast. I think that was the one I sent. Yeah. That was the one I sent. Yeah, yeah, yeah. That was yours? Yeah. Oh, that's a great line. I think that was it.

We had some softer stuff, and he goes straight, like, no, you need black joke right now. Boom. Well, you had a good black joke out of the gate with Kevin Hart, so I was like, you need, like, one more. I know. It's exactly how it went. And then once Nikki Glaser and Jeff Ross went up, you're like, oh, everybody's going hard. Well, I mean, right out the gate, Kevin Hart even said some stuff, in which that's, like, a cool team play because he knew we were all nervous. Right, right. You know what I mean? So, like...

He went out there, kind of like, looked out for us, like, all right, guys, don't worry. Yeah. Because, you know, you're saying some stuff that, like. Sure. You know, you probably. It's comedy. It's comedy. He set the table. And you rocked the Star of David, which I thought was cool. Hell yeah, you got it. Appreciate that. You got it, bro. Gaza. We should. They didn't like it. Uh-oh. That forum's an iron dome. Uh-oh.

Okay. If Julian were the only Jews that we had, Hitler wouldn't even... Oh, that's true. He would have been fine. That's true. He would have been like, look at them. They're so fucking strong. I'm not going to start war with these people. Yeah. And as a fellow 5'10 person, you're giving us hope.

Yeah, you know, it's for the shoot tomorrow. Are you shirtless? No, but I think there will be some tank stuff. Pull up the body issue thing of Julian. This is crazy. Body issue. This is crazy. This is like 10 years ago now. But you still look pretty ripped, dude. I'm pretty deep. Yeah, the ankle. I mean, the calf is killing it. Hitting those stairs. Subway, baby. Yeah. Subway joke, by the way. Remember you had something in your special recently on Amazon, which is what?

You changed. Yeah. You had that subway joke. We were talking about it. I was like, same, I had the subway joke because we took the subway here. Yeah. And you had the subway joke about never make eye contact with a homeless person. It's the equivalent of making eye contact with a homeless person for a guy is like,

a woman making eye contact with a boy. It's the same thing. Fully. Fuck, he's walking toward me. Yeah. Am I not supposed to say that? Or am I not supposed to tell your special? No. It's out. Did I give like a joke away? Look at him here. This is crazy. Whoa, mama. That's insane. Wow.

Wow. Like, what's the prep for this? Like, how much are you cutting out carbs and stuff like that? Jesus. Because we've hung. You drink. I mean, you eat well. This is when I was playing. Yeah. Jesus. So when I was playing, like...

Anything you put in your body was like diet, like for like nutrition and stuff. And especially this time in my career, like... This would have flipped Nick Cannon. It was, you know, in a lot of running, I was running a lot. So anytime you run, you sprint, you're always going to be a lot leaner. Sure. And so this is like when I was in like some of the best shape of my life. Have you heard that these... But for this specific shoot...

I didn't eat carbs for like two weeks going into it. Wow. You know what I mean? You cut after, like I needed it for workout in the morning, but if you cut out after 12 o'clock, then you, I don't know. I mean, the gays must love this too. This is so hot.

Hey, I was on the cover of Spirit Magazine in 2015. Hey, there you go. Was your dick in the pouch here? No, so dick is fully out. What? Fully out. How many people in the room? No, listen, listen. I was nervous about this thing. I'm like, wait, so this thing's like you're fully naked, right?

And they're like, yeah. And we're talking to their production team. They're like, yeah, it's going to be a very closed set. Some guy's going to bring his kid. He's like, yeah, check this out. We roll up. There's 45 people there. You see those little hands right there? Those are all separate people that I'm jumping over with my schlong hanging out. Those are all separate different people holding that. And I'm doing a jump on a mat above this city line. So it was kind of crazy. And so those are all different people. And you take the shot.

And all of a sudden you go look over with the photographer because you have to run over and you do it again. And like your dick would be hanging out on the shot. And she's like, this is a great shot. I'm like...

But my, oh, we can cut that thing out. We're good. This is what we're looking for. I'm like, oh, my God. Wow. You know, you opened up. You know, it was a cold set. It was a very, very cold set. They always do that. Deflated balls. But, yeah, the deflated balls, that's pretty good. The one where your leg is out, my ball bag is so long, it would have hung over the thigh. Large scrotum, huh? Yeah, well, it's long.

Yeah. Greg Giroldi used to have that great bit about he could tell he was getting older the first time he sat in the toilet and the balls dipped. Oh, yeah. The dark moment. Call it a Belgium dip? A Belgium dip. Austin Powers, remember? Oh, yeah. Or is that Mrs. Doubtfire? No, that was a... I think it was when...

Was it Bellajum Dip Mrs. Doubtfire when she put the cake face in her face? Yeah. That's right. And she goes, oh, is it Bellajum Dip? And she drops it in the tea. It was a run by a fruit tigger. Yeah. Oh, yeah. Fully ball dick out. Wow. I couldn't do it. Yeah, it was pretty...

I could cover with a baseball. Yeah. Mark and I wrote a movie and we're like, there's a scene where we're ass naked and we're like, we gotta get a hot room in there. Yes. We gotta make sure it's not cold. Please, for the love of God. Or I'll get a body double. What?

I roll in to be your body double. Yeah, please. Like, wow. You know who I want my body double to be? I can't speak. Sorry. One of these. I want my body double to be that black guy with the giant dick. You know the guy I'm talking about? It's crazy. We all know who I'm talking about. Look at this new law that passed. Your boy sends it to you. It's insane.

That would actually be a funny gag if we just used doubles, but they were just black guys with huge dicks. That is a funny gag. I feel like I get that meme at least three times a year. My favorite one is like, dude, your favorite, it'll be like Dustin Hoffman died, and you're like, oh my god, and you click on the link, and it's just that. You're like, Hoffman's fine.

You can go everything on Google, huh? Barry Wood, huh? That was his name. That's fitting. Jeez. We were going to put him in our movie, but he died recently. Yeah. Did he? Yeah. Well, the dick, it takes a lot of blood.

That's what they always said, you know, on the street. Like, oh, and you're on the like at recess with your friends. Like, yeah, dude, I heard this guy. Dick was so big that like he died because he had lack of blood flow to his head. Like, I remember talking about it. So this really. I remember that. Oh, yeah. I don't know. I'm joking, but I'm sure it didn't help.

Yeah, I couldn't. To get a boner for that guy, that's a lot of fun. What mixed news from a doctor? They're like, your dick is so big you're going to die. Yeah. You're like, well, thank you. Do you guys remember that kid who was born with a football-shaped dick and they... Hey, Arnold?

Nickelodeon. I used to love that show. Oh, yeah. That was a classic. That was my thought process of what New York was. As a West Coast kid, like, oh, my God, you can play baseball between buildings? You're such a Bay Area guy. It's so funny that you're this Boston legend because you're so – I mean, do you know who he took to the prom? Oh. You got to tell this. You can tell it. Jerry Rice's daughter. Whoa.

And he answered the door fucking with you, right? Nah, that was one time he did. Yeah. One time he... Like, the first time. He didn't really mess with me. He just...

Was, like, jacked in, like, a white beater with, like, a cool chain. Like, and I saw his muscles and stuff. It's Jerry Rice. You're like... And he's one of your faves. And he's one of everyone's faves. Wow. I grew up in the Bay Area. I went to prom with Ray Rice's daughter. That elevator was bad. But... All right.

Brown rice is her name. Okay, we're having fun. We are having fun. Dick Buckus. There he is. Look at that guy. I typed in football-shaped dick and this came up. That was a baby. And then they did surgery on it because it was obviously going to fuck the kid up. And they made it, they gave it eight inches. The Predators always have an egg-shaped dick, they say. That's right. Epstein, the East Area Rapist, always an egg-shaped dick. Really? Yeah. Scrambled.

No, they always say that though. Epstein had an egg-shaped dick. I heard the same. And Harvey had a weird dick and Hitler had one ball. One ball. And a micropenis, they say. Oh, really? That's what I tell myself. He's a bad guy. What if he had a huge dong? I don't think he did. You look it up. I think he had a small dick. It's not big dick energy. Yeah. No, it's not. But what if it was... Hitler had big dick energy. He'd be like...

We should kill the Jews, right? Yeah. Don't be yelling it. Say it like chill. And he wouldn't have to go full heil. He'd be like, eh, I'm good. I don't think he would do it. Yeah. I don't think he'd do it if he had big, big energy. Probably not. I don't think so either. Yeah, if your dreams come true, you don't really turn to genocide. Yeah. He wanted to be an artist. He'd be running different trains. Oh.

He's from the Washington Post. Well, back to Dick Buckus. Football-shaped dick. Oh, there you go. Hitler penis. Yeah, how is he looking? It says, all right, let's talk about Hitler's penis. This is from the Washington Post. Nice. Nice.

This is our news, baby. I got a new Hitler joke that's hitting. I say I was watching the Hitler doc with my friend. Which one? The one on Netflix? There's a new one. There's so many. There's millions, but there's a newer one on Netflix. It's pretty. It's weird to say it's good. It's well done. But really good. A great message. But no, my friend was like, you know who'd be a good Hitler is Kevin Spacey. And I was like, yeah, yeah. And he goes, but he's canceled. And I was like, he can't play Hitler? Yeah.

I think that'd be the perfect role then. Exactly. That's how we get them back. That's a good point. They should make canceled guys play fucked up characters that we already hate. Yeah. Work your way back. Yeah. Oh, it does say... They're heels now. Yeah, they're heels. You gotta go to the heel side. Exactly. Hey, we gotta earn you back. Yeah. Depending on the case. Right. What do we have on his... Any developments on Hitler's penis? Big. Big development. Breaking news. Hitler... Hopefully not too big. ...is believed to have...

Had two forms of genital abnormality. There it is. An undescended testicle. That's one. And a rare condition called penile hypsodesia, which is the urethra opens up under the skin of the penis. And I pulled up a picture. It's basically a micropenis. Oh, yeah. Micropene hit. There it is. That's why Hitler hated you, dude. He never would have been on the body issue. That weird-ass fucking wiener. He wasn't circumcised. That little shrewdom.

Wow. There you go, folks. Are you glad you don't have to? I mean, because you're still ripped. I remember when we would change shirts together on the show and I'd be like, fuck, you'd be like, oh, I'm not in good shape. And I'd be like, well, then what the fuck am I? You know, because he's like still very fit.

Yeah. How often do you work out? You know, I've been boxing a lot. I go to this boxing gym, Churchill, over in Santa Monica with my boy Chris and Pedro. Like three – I'll try to get three days a weekend. And then I've been going to Santa Monica Junior College or Community College, Santa Monica College, and I've been putting the cleats on to see if I can run. You know, and like –

It reminds me that I shouldn't be, you know. You shouldn't be running? Yeah. But it feels good. But it feels good. But I've been running, you know. And then I'll get like two –

Three lifts in a week. Oh, that's a lot. So that's like six workouts, right? Yeah, but sometimes I'll run and then I'll go lift, like a quick lift just to get a pump or something. Nice. I'll go crazy if I don't. That's good. That's healthy. Good for the brain, good for the stress. I've been biking a bunch too. I take my bike from where I live and I'll go all the way down to like

Marina Del Rey or Playa Del Rey, which is like, it's like a 30 mile bike ride. Jeez. But you're like all along the beach and stuff. So it's kind of, it's chill. Yeah. So I do that. I'll go grab a smoothie, you know, and then, you know, everything's kind of tailored around kids schedule. Right. And I mean, right now it's, she's not in school, but you gotta, you gotta,

I drop her out of school. You go to gym. Then I go handle work calls. Then I pick her up. And then, you know, we got soccer and tutor. I mean, it's like. Wow. You keep it. Can I ask on those 30 mile rides, you listening to music or listening to podcasts or just zenning? I change it up.

Like, sometimes if I have – like, I have to digest content for me to stay in my work field, like for football. Like, I'll listen to certain podcasts and I'll listen to certain shows just to kind of hear what the headlines, what people are talking about. What are your regulars? Which ones do you like? I love – I like the Colin Coward show. I like McAfee show. I'll listen to part of my take. Yeah.

I was just talking about those guys. They're awesome. You know, and, you know, I've seen them from the very beginning, you know, watching them and it's been cool. So I've always kind of listened to them and a lot of their humor was sport.

It's similar to my humor. I think McAfee does a great job of bringing in the locker room vibe of how we joan with each other on his show. That's how the locker room is. And so I like watching that. But they also deliver – they give you a good perspective on how –

You know, it's just not like so TV anchory. Sure. Yeah, he's got a tank top on. It's different. And those guys have been in the locker room. Right. They got good perspective. So I like listening to those shows. I like the comedic relief from like the PMT and those guys. Yeah. They're funny as hell. And they also deliver the news and what's going on in sports in a very unique way. So I like listening to how they talk and what they do. And, you know, you're also – I like listening to podcasts because I have a podcast. You know, we still do games with names. Yeah.

You know, you're constantly trying to get better and like just interview style and all that shit. Yeah, yeah. So new. Where are you at on Stephen A.?

I actually, I like Stephen A. I don't mind him as much as this guy. I mean, I think his, if you listen to him, like he, because I'm in that world where you have like a time limit to talk and what you have to get your thought process around and your prove it points and stuff. He's like a polished motherfucker when he talks on. Yeah, literally his face is polished. No. Yeah. Yeah.

No, he's a very smart dude. Now, I don't always agree with a lot of his takes. Yeah, yeah. But I think he's like- No, I'm fucking around. He's obviously a pro. Yeah, there's a reason why there's only two people at ESPN now. I know, right? It is pretty weird though, isn't it? It's like, man, they fired so many good people over there. Times are changing. I don't know, man. They're trying to bring in that world of how us younger people-

Digest content. Right. That's through what we're doing right now, podcasts. Totally. The Pat McAfee show, that's essentially they're trying to capture podcasts on TV for people that haven't really gone over to that market. And that's why it's a hit. You're crushing on TV right now, the sports show every Sunday morning. Yeah, Fox kickoff. Schrager and everyone. Yeah, Schrag's awesome. Yeah, yeah. Chris Thompson, Charles Woodson. Yes. And Mike Vick. Yeah, it's fun. It's been...

a really great environment. And, you know, I've been in that world now going on. This is going to be my fourth year. Crazy, crazy. You remember I was – when we were coming out here doing Inside the NFL, I think you – I was a little stressed about that at first when I had to do that. You know, it's different. And any time you haven't done something, it's like terrifying. Sure. I don't know, at least for me. And so –

I've gotten some ropes under, and then I went to Fox, and Fox is live TV. Oh, yeah. So it's different from live to tape where you could mess up a little bit. As comedians, our dick hits hard when we hear live TV because we can ruin the show. Yeah. We get so excited. I did a show recently on ABC, and it was not live. But I was like, I'll just fuck it up so much they can't edit it without my jokes. And I walked out, and they were like, what the fuck did he just do? Yeah.

Who books these for you? My publicist who gets really angry every time. She's like, I just got yelled at again. And I'm like, I can't believe they keep allowing me in here. That's insane. I mean, you've done it on a lot. I go on a wormhole of those things all the time. But as comics, Mark and I, we do those and we're like, oh, we can do anything. And it's so tempting to do something horrible. But I guess for you guys, you're more like, oh, no, we just have to not fuck up a word or a take or something. Yeah. And you know...

We're like... We've been away from like the English world for 15 years. You know, when you're with football, you're not like practicing. You guys are talking and you guys are like writing shit and like... Yeah. Yeah. So you can fuck... Talking in a locker room and talking to like a broadcast of people... Is different. Is different. Right. You know, there's like certain... So there's a...

a training mechanism to kind of try to bring that locker room talk in and also be able to portray to people how... That's a good point. How we all talk. And, you know, it's execution of being able to get like...

Your point across, give a couple nuggets about that point, wrap it up, and get it all in 35 to 45 seconds, and then try to give a layup to your partner who's sitting next to you. It's like you're trying to have a good show every time. Well, that's why Charles Barkley's great, because he's great at broadcasting, but he's also half in a locker room where he's like, ah, San Antonio women are fat as hell, you know? Oh, yeah!

That was an amazing sound bite. Oh, yeah. Those guys are the... I love watching them. I love Barkley. I don't even watch basketball. I'll watch just the halftime show a lot of times. I got you more in the... I think I got you more in the basketball. You got me in the Bronson. You got me in the more in the Bronson. Bronson. Yeah, he was talking... You were talking about him years ago. You're like, I like this guy when I first got him. Yeah, he's a man. And he's turned into a... You're fucking Celtics. We would talk shit to each other all the time. Of course, Julian's fucking every day cheering on the Celtics.

It happened. 18? Yeah, they won it. It's crazy how many... You have to understand how spoiled Boston sports fans are because of how many championships. You know it. They've grown up with every one of the major teams winning, and you guys won fucking six in the last 25 years. Yeah. And you were part of three of them. Yeah. You know, it's crazy because I grew up a Bay Area fan, but when you go to Boston...

And, like, you rub elbows with the other guys and you meet a couple Celtics. You do a charity event with some Bruins. You see a couple Red Sox at another charity event. Like, you guys all –

kind of like root for each other and you feel that vibe from the whole city it's like a it's like a real true pro sport town oh yeah it's a town like you know what i mean this is a big-ass city like you guys are competing with like fashion and this and that out there it's like education and pro sport that's true i mean that's what boston is and like some good ass like clam chowder and stuff so yeah yeah and cool people but like i love i might take my special yeah i love it was there so like and

And you just did the Wilbur. What? No, I'm doing the Wilbur. You're doing it. What are you going to do? I'm doing a live show of the podcast, Games with Names. Do you know who the guests are yet? We got a couple. I don't know if we're allowed to... Are we saying? Not yet. But you know it's going to be good. It's going to be pretty good. We got some good folks coming. We got a couple past legends, a couple maybe current peeps. Ooh, baby. We'll see. Who's a good dream guest for you to interview? All right. All right.

Who's a dream guest for you to interview? I would love to get like Michael Jordan or like Tiger Woods. Someone not in our sport. I love our sport, but I'm interested. I've heard the stories of a lot of – I don't know them all, but you hear the story of the story of the story from coach this, that. I want to learn about these other sports and how these other guys are a lot more. Like when we have –

I think we're going to have Paul Pierce on again and, like, depict his brain. He's great. You know, it'll be fun. I mean, I hate his fucking guts as a player, but he's great. He was a hateable guy because he was just, oh, he's nasty. He was, if you... He talks shit. And he won't give Brunson any fucking love. And then he fucking burned the Brunson jersey. Did he? Or he stomped it. He stomped it. He lost a bet with Garnett because Garnett gives a lot of love to Brunson. Yeah. Garnett's cool. I like Garnett a lot, the way he talks about the game, but...

He lost a bet. He had to wear a Brunson jersey, and he honored it. But then after he took it off, he took a video of him stomping on it. I'm like, dude, you're in your 40s. What are you doing? That's insane. You know who Garnett reminds me of on TV? He's a basketball version of our Ray Lewis. Yes. Oh, yeah. Without the murder. Because any time I hear – I used to work with Ray Lewis. Really? Yeah, on Inside the NFL. Holy moly. And so any time this guy would talk, he would be like,

You wanted to run through a brick wall afterwards. Like, we're in a production meeting. He's like, all right, now we have to do this. You are going to have to... And, like, how he talks is crazy. Or I just want to run through a brick wall. And, like, any time you listen to KG, he's just talking about, like, intensity. Like, that's the kind of dude... He's a dog. You know what I mean? Right, right. Same kind of shit. I love him. But I did call out Ray. But I think a lot of his...

A lot of his posts, his speeches come from the Gladiator movie. Really? Yes. This dude loves the Gladiator. We went to Rome together. That's why I know you. Wow. Really? We did a convention in Croatia, a sports convention together. And then we're like, I was like, oh, I'm going to Rome. Come with me. And Ray came.

And we went to – did some content at the Coliseum. What? And watching Ray Lewis go into the Coliseum where like the original gladiators fought and all that stuff. Like just the aura you feel of it, that word aura everyone is talking about. To see him – it was like watching a kid go into a candy shop. This guy was like so juiced up just from seeing like the –

prehistoric gladiators were back. It is kind of badass. It is. Of course. Gnarly. Yeah, that movie gets me kind of jacked. There's a number two coming out. I saw that. Is that a trailer? I didn't see it. I haven't seen the trailer. I heard about it. Denzel? Denzel? What? Denzel's fucking great. He's a little old for that, is he not? He's not the gladiator. No. Oh, okay. No, no, no, no. Who's the glad? Who's the gladiator? I don't know. Look it up. Oh, let's see a little Ray Lewis. This is it. We call for a ring. Nothing else don't matter, man. Buddy,

That's what loyalty is. Loyalty is to find your heart and find out. Make sure you look at your teammates today. And you come out and you get a pure helmet. Get your teammates ready for us. Let's prove today.

No one does that for us in comedy. That's why we're all lazy and hungover. We need someone to fucking do that to us. Yeah. Oh, my God. It's pretty chilly. Oh, I got chills. That was heavy. He's a badass. I remember when he beat the Giants in 2001. That fucking sucked. We had one touchdown. It was a run back. 2000. 2000, yeah. It was a 2001 January. Woo. Woo.

Who was this guy? I hate that. I hate that. I get so mixed up with sport year and Super Bowl date. Right. Because it's usually the next year. Right, right, right. Right. It's like- I fucked up. You're covering for me. I got it wrong. No, really. I swear to God. We argue about this shit all the time. You know our producer's so upset he's not here because he's a huge Bills fan, but he wanted to meet you still. Yeah. He rolls here every week in his fucking Josh Allinger's. Yeah.

And he was like, of course, he goes, what a patriot move to not show up, to show up to one week I'm not here. And I was like, you got to tell two stories for him. One is you got a dildo thrown at you, right? It wasn't at me. It was on the field after. Oh, wow. In Buffalo? In Buffalo. Was Buffalo, you guys always cooked Buffalo. Old Orchard. Yeah, we used to go up there and, you know, we...

You put a stomp in him. A lot. Was that where you guys got stuck as a team, and that was like the first time you bonded with Tom? Yeah. It was like. Decent-sized hog. Yes, there's the dildo dong. It wasn't cold in that room. That wasn't a hedgehog dick. We're in the red area. I'm pissed. I think I was pissed after this play or something. I remember all of a sudden I'm like, I don't know if they have the play. Where was I? Or I was walking back, and I saw it.

But I saw it, and I just see a dick get thrown, or a dildo on there. And I look over there, and like, it says Brady's Dildo or Brady's Dick or something. Is this it? No, that's not it. That's a new one.

Yeah. Oh, look at this thing now. That's their thing. Whoa. That's a modern day. Look at it. I'm telling you, Orchard gets crazy. These fucking TikTok kids have to ruin it with that song, though. There's some fat housewife going, I'm going to jerk off Elise at the foot. Where the hell is that? Damn it.

It's on the field again. Yeah, right? They have those things at like one of those like, you know, they have like those party stores. Yeah. Party USA store in like a strip mall. Yeah. You know, in Buffalo, they sell dildos for that. They always have like decorative stuff for like the local team. Sure. Yeah.

Dude, that was where you guys got stuck. Yeah, we got stuck in Rochester, New York. And that's where he's from, Rochester. He's from Rochester? Yeah. So we got snowed in. I think it was my rookie year. It was either my rookie year or my second year. My second year. It was my second year in the league. And we just clinched the division in Buffalo, and we got snowed in, but there was an international hockey tournament happening

So there was no hotels for us, but we could not fly. So we took a bus in this snowstorm to Rochester, New York. And we stayed in Rochester and went to this dinosaur barbecue place. Oh, I know it. Yeah. That's their only thing there. It was delicious. It's great. Delicious barbecue. Spectacular. And a lot of the team was there. It was kind of like a celebratory kind of thing. And we don't really do that at the Patriots. We don't like...

Really? Yeah, like, not with coaches. Like, there was some, you know, like, it was, we just clinched. We all snowed in. They couldn't do any of their work. We couldn't do any of our work. And so, like, we all ventured over to this place. And that's when, you know, we had a beer chugging contest. Yeah.

Brady's freaking good. Really? You kind of beat him. I kind of beat him, but he said I dropped a little on my shirt, even though. That's bullshit. Come on. He's obsessed with that. He's pretty good, though. Really? He's pretty fucking good. Wow. I'm shocked. The guy can chug a beer. You can chug a beer, though. I can chug a beer, too.

It's a jaw technique thing. Oh, yeah? I can show. It's kind of like, have you seen the movie Phenomenon? With John Travolta? Yeah, where he gets shot by lightning. I broke my jaw. I can't believe you saw that. I saw it too. I love that movie. Really? I loved it. I was like 10 years old. Oh, wait. You know what? I'm thinking of Michael. Michael, yes. That's a fucking turn. That's a bad movie. Okay. Phenomenon was great. He could speak Portuguese. He was reading books, remember? Yes, exactly. I love that.

But it was like I broke my jaw and ever since then I could fucking chug beers. Interesting. Can we get two water bottles in here? I want to see how fast he chugs. Okay. I can chug. Water bottles are difficult. It's like the boot in Beer Fest. You got to spin it. I love that you've seen every fucking... That's a funny movie.

I have a lot of friends. I don't know that movie that crazy well. Yeah. But I have a group of friends that reference it all the time. So like, I feel like I know the movie. Okay. What's like your go-to comedy when you're like, I need to just like, there's like my comfort watch.

I love Dumb and Dumber. Classic. Yeah, we talk about it all the time. Yeah, we have like a whole language on that. Like that's where like this whole like me loving burgers and burger time. How's your burger? Like that's how we used to talk to each other. It was stupid. Even the soundtrack to that movie, I just like hear a random song. It's on like my pre-show playlist because like three of them put me in a good mood. Mary Lou.

She's a vegetarian. I also, one of my real go-to's, I love Superbad. Oh, classic. Because I remember seeing that in the theater right when I was, I was like a freshman in college or maybe my second year in college, but I had just moved to Ohio and I was on a date with a girl. We went to matinee, $5 movie. We were sitting there, the first slide, he's talking about hiding his porn name to his mom with the credit card bill. Yeah.

I'm sitting here dying. It was like the funny, because I remember doing those things, you know, like, oh, shit, I used my mom's credit card. What's she going to find out about, you know what I mean? It was just such a funny movie. I was crying. I remember just being hysterical the whole movie because it was so familiar to me.

You know, my age. Yeah, McAlovey. Where I was. Yes. They had a great line in there where he goes, I saw her tits. It was like the first time I heard the Beatles. Yeah. We said super troopers are super bad. No, he stared at his eye. No, he stared at his eye. No, sugar tits was something else. This is different. Let's see. I want to see how fast. I'll chug. All right. You broke your jaw. Am I putting you on the spot too much? This is water. All right. Ready? Set. All right. Chew off.

Whoa, you spilled a little, Tom Brady. I spilled a little too. All right, all right. It's been a while. Man. Okay, boy. I was chugging beers. That was like my party trick back in the day. Didn't we do it a couple times? We did it, yeah, yeah. It feels like I'm at your bar mitzvah. Where? No, Julian has definitely showed up

to the cellar with me. We were both legless for sure. We were Liz at the cellar. Dude. You fucking assholes. Those... Dude, we met Shane Gillis. You brought Shane Gillis. He was there one time. Yeah. Who else? We met... I met some really cool dudes and it's been really cool to see you guys. That was like three years ago. Yeah. And like...

There's been special, like you see it now more, like I wasn't like that. Shane loves football. He was pumped to meet you. Yeah. And one of my favorites was I brought Julian to the cellar and one of the bouncers there goes, oh man, can I get a picture with you? And they take a picture and the second he takes the picture, he goes, go Giants.

Immediately, like, he just wanted that moment, but he was like, I was like, and Julian was cool about it. I was like, all right. Yeah, I mean, who cares? I mean, I was like, yeah, what are you going to do? I used to love the Niners and stuff. I was like that way, too. You get a lot of hate on the street, though, like from Jets fans. Oh, yeah. You get a lot of love, but you also get that obligatory New York, like, fuck you, dude. You did this to the Jets. Yeah, it's usually construction workers, cops, or, you know, it's been, it's like a fun thing

Yeah. Because it's not real hate. With the New Yorkers. No, because they respect the fuck out of you, but they'll give you like, oh, man, I was such a big fan. Take a picture and all of a sudden while they leave, go Giants. You were almost a Giant, which is so fucked up to me because that's my team. And if you left for the Giants, that would have been fucking insane. It would have been. I mean, it would have been cool. That's one of their pitches to me.

I remember being on that trip. I think it was Coach Izzo, their special teams coordinator, and they brought me around. They were like, could you imagine being in New York City running a punt back?

in front of the by the way the stadium's in new jersey yeah i know i know can you imagine being in new york's like wait i think i said that to larry and i was like we're in new jersey the officers are in jersey but that was but i did think about that and coughlin was literally if boston was like like can you imagine being in boston you're like we're in vermont right now

New Hampshire. Yeah, New Hampshire. You must get a ton, because we get shit just as comics where I'll get these kind of half-insult compliments where they're like, hey, great show. My wife hates you. Or whatever. But do you get stuff like that where it's like this backhanded, oh, you missed that pass there, dickless? Nah, you get a lot of dick riding on Brady. Oh, yeah, yeah, right. Yeah, riding his dick. I mean, fuck. That's tough. Someone had to catch the ball, dude. Every great quarterback has great receivers. It's a teammate.

Also, Brady. I hate when people say Brady had no receivers. He had you. He had fucking Welker. He had Gronk. He had Randy Moss. He had so many fucking great receivers. He's never said that. He's never said that. People in Boston would complain sometimes about that shit. Yeah, but that's just fandom and everything. Yeah, yeah. I'm just trying to hate on Boston anyway. Yeah.

Nah, they love it. I mean, they always took us in pretty well. For sure. No, and I fucking, that's the thing. It's like, as a comedy city, Boston is like, it is top. Oh, top five. It's like top five for me. It's gotta be. You don't take a special place in a lot. It's just a fun town, and you know, you can say, you can probably get away with a lot in Boston. Oh, yeah. Oh, my God. That's a horrible thing. Including a hate crime. Yeah.

Karen Reed. Yeah, my opening in Boston, I did the Schubert, I don't know, two weeks ago, and I was like, I hope I don't bomb, or as you call it, a marathon. And they were like, yeah! He set shit up! That's great. Boston's great. I was there for that almost, man. Really? Yeah, it was crazy. We were, it was off-season training.

And that's like a big weekend in Boston when you go to the marathon, St. Paddy's Day and Opening Day. Those are like the three big send-offs before summer. And we just finished our...

like our run or something we had to run in the morning and then you know you were free to go and a lot of guys were already on their way there and we were going to get we were in like in a car to go to the the marathon because it's like a fun time sure it's you know and all of a sudden you know everything's you know everyone's like nah we can't go we can't go like my buddies got like turned away from like the commuter commuter rail and stuff oh boy it was gnarly damn sad

Yeah. They got the guy. We went and met with the... Both of them. We met with one of the cops that got blown up close after. What's his name? I forgot, man. I'm...

We'll have to edit that in. Yeah, my bad. We'll find him. We'll just dub a name in. Officer John. Officer John. But that was crazy. I remember when Big Papi was like, this is our fucking game. That was a pretty cool moment in sports. Oh, yeah. It kind of reminded me when Piazza after 9-11 hit that home run against the Bay. I was like, that was. Did they win? They won. They won that one game. In the Mets fashion, they won a regular season game. Oh.

That was all they could give. What'd you eat there, Bob? Boat lay. After Katrina, the Saints won the Super Bowl, and we needed that. That was big. That was cool. 2010? Officer Simmons. Simmons, there you go. Yeah, that was a crazy time, man. They caught those dudes on a houseboat.

One of them. Yeah, they got them both. That's good color on that right there. You see that? Yeah. Guess who took that picture right here? There he is. It's a good eyebrow. Yeah. You look very tan. I know. I don't know. You look like you just spent two weeks in the Bahamas. It's makeup. I was pale as a ghost. Ha!

Beard is nicely. Yeah. That's all my agent's boyfriend, Dan Perry. Shout out, Dan. He's the best. He did my hair and everything, the grooming, all that stuff. It's hilarious. He cuts like, he's like, oh, I just cut Marcus Stroman's hair. Oh, shit. He's like the private barber to all these athletes. Really? Yeah, he's got a cool life. You gotta have your barber, dude. I got a New York barber. I just got a fresh...

Fresh cut. Let me see. Oh, you look good. Look at that. Yeah, they look great, bubs, but... With a hat on. We call it the Charlottesville. It's great. Yeah.

No, it looks good. High and tight, baby. That's a good looking. I got to cut out my grays, bro. You don't have gray. Oh, keep the gray. I'm gray as fuck. Gray is good. We're all going gray. Who cares? Women like gray. Distinguished. It's got to be a silver fox doggy. Yeah, Clooney's still killing it. Have you seen them all? He's the coolest human ever. He is a cool dude. He just gives millions of dollars away for Christmas or something. Do you have the suitcases? Yeah. He gave away the suitcases of a million to his 14 closest friends. Yes. How would you like to be friends with him?

I was like, I always text him happy birthday. We grew up together. I was a good guy. I mean, honestly, if I got that, I'd be like, this is a fucking hassle. How are we going to launder this? Are we going to report this? Yeah. True. Are you going to report this money? This is what you pay cleaners and this, that? We're trying to get that Casamigos money with our bodega cat. Yeah. Bodega cat. We're trying to fucking rock. Look up Clooney cat litter. He had a great joke. Okay. But you got a good look because you can go ethnic. Yeah.

Look at that. You could go Italian. You could go. People do confuse me. They claim me. I'll get people be like, I get Italian a lot. Yeah. I mean, you look like a third man. Yeah. It just means like cool Jew, I think. Yeah.

I can see Italian a little. Man, maybe. Confident Jew. Yeah. Italian. You look like Totoro. Like a hotter Totoro. I got a Totoro record. Have you never seen the movie Quiz Show? Oh, great movie. That's a fucking old timer, man. It was the best picture. Quiz Show. It's a fucking good 90s flick that Redford directed it. It's awesome, dude. Ray Fiennes? Yeah. Yes. Good flick in Totoro.

It's like a rigged game show. It's killer. One best picture. Yeah, it's killer. I think you're right. Like Running Man? Running Man's a good flick too. They're different. You don't like that movie? I live next to that dude. The dude who produced it. This guy. It's pretty crazy. He walks up my street. He just walks up and down.

And he told me, yeah, I produced Running Man, man. Wait, wait, the Schwarzenegger movie? Yeah. Oh, wow. That's a fun one. That's old. It was so fun. Remember the dude with the Christmas lights? Yeah, yeah. No, that's fucking... And they had all the wrestlers. Jesse Ventura was in there. That's right. I used to love those movies. Oh, yeah. Schwarzenegger's a fucking man.

What year was that? Have you ever met Schwarzenegger? I have. You met him? I have. How was that? He said he had nice calves. Really? I don't know. I was a little in shock. I was rehabbing my ACL, and I was out here. No, I was out in L.A., and I went to this facility that he goes to, and...

We introduced each other and he goes, nice cops. That's awesome. Yeah, it was cool. I love that. Who's like a random like legend who's a fan? Who like hit you up who's like, that was like a big one. No one's like hit me up, but when you could always, I don't know, like I met Casey Affleck.

And he was pretty cool. That's Boston royalty. Yeah. Oh, yeah. He's a good actor. You could just tell he watched the games. You could always tell who's watching. I remember when we had Sean Michaels. Wahlberg was pretty cool. Wahlberg's big. Yeah. When we had Sean Michaels on our show, he was like gushing over Julian. Really? And he was saying Julian should join the WWE. Whoa. Sexy man alive. Sean Michaels. You're just a boy, Tom. Ha, ha, ha.

Would you ever do that, wrestling? So when I went to – I did a documentary in Mexico City for the NFL to promote the Mexico City game. And it was me and Amendola. And we went and trained with some Nacho Libre guys or some – what are they? Reso Libre? What are they called? Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Uchadores. We went to a place, an actual city. There's... I don't know if there's something in there. I went to that same wrestling show. Who's that? Midgets and everything. This is a guy that produced Running Man. No. Is that the guy you're running to? Different guy. Because this is Starsky from Starsky and Hutch. Oh, wow. Different guy. But I don't want to put him up there because I don't want to show people where he lives or... Okay. Yeah. Um...

But where was I? Luchadoris. Luchadoris. So we went and trained with him for a day. And we were learning this move where we'd go off the ring and you'd jump up.

and you grab the guy by his neck and you swing him down. Oh, yeah. We were able to pick it up in a day. Nice. I bet you both could do it. Dude, that shit was hurting. That's like, it hurts. Oh, it's like acrobatics. I'm like, no way, dude. I'm fucking going to be hurt. You could blow a peck or something so easy in that. I was watching the Money in the Bank wrestling thing the other day, just like threw it on, and it's six women doing a ladder match, and the shit they were doing to each other, I was like,

I've never seen this in any ladder match where they're just like throwing their bodies onto the ladder. Yeah. I'm like, that's fucking, that hurts. That hurts. I mean, there it is. Yes. We were in training. Wow. What the fuck? See, we did that back thing right there. You see where he's getting his neck? What the fuck is he doing? Oh, my. How soft is that mat? Is it soft at all? I mean.

I mean, it breaks a little, but not when you're going seven feet in the air. Yeah. It's still seven feet in the air with your weight, your mass. Wow. Damn. Yeah, I saw this live with the wife. We went down there, got some beers, the midgets. It was great. McAfee's done. He's doing WrestleMania stuff. I thought he did well when he did it. Yeah. You know who's fucking great at it is- Gronk does it too. I think Gronk's done a couple bits. Did I tell you I did a corporate gig with Gronk? Yes, you did. What?

How was he? A German man kissed us both on the mouth. Really? Yeah. Gronk was there to party with them, and I was there to do stand-up, and Gronk had the easier job. He just had to drink with them. They were not a good crowd.

It was like 25 minutes of me proving I'm not a fucking chump. And people were yelling out like, you suck. And I'm like, I couldn't get it. They were just screaming shit. They were animals. And by like minute 25, I had them. And then I was like, I'll give them five minutes of hard jokes. Got a few big pops. And I was like, I'm out. Yeah, yeah. The guy who ran it was the nicest guy. But it was just the weirdest gig. He was like, come party with us. I'm like, I just bombed. Yeah. That's the crowd. I know. I don't want to hang out with them. I don't want to run into the you suck guy.

Right. Good point. That's got to be tough. Yeah, no, Gronk was... He was cool as fuck. I told him we're buddies. And... Yeah, look at him. 6'4"? No, he's 6'6". Woo! He's 70, bro. He's tall. Fun guy? Oh, he's awesome. Yeah, they're like... He's one of your best buds, right? Gronk is...

He gets, like, this whole party rap, but he's actually, like, just a really health-conscious dude. Like, he's very calculated and all that. Like, he puts down on paper, like, not on paper, like, verbatim, but, like, he'll, like, plan out what he wants to do. Like, he's very responsible. Very responsible. Oh, shit. Whoa! That's badass. Damn.

Lucha Libre. Oh, hey, so good. Damn. Hey, look at that. Wrestling is really fun. That's his boy, Mojo. Did you see Brunson? I know him. Did you see Brunson at wrestling the other night? No. Was he there? Dude, you got to pull up this clip of Brunson and Halliburton. I got to go. Have you been in a while? We got to go to a match. He didn't go in the ring, though. Where's the next message? He did. He went in the ring. He went in the ring? Yeah. What? It's in Indy or something, isn't it? Oh, there's Logan.

Yeah, yeah. Halliburton. Oh, that hurt. That was out of the playoffs. That's insane. There was a great stare down before, but yeah, here he comes. Wow. He can take a beating, Brunson. Oh, he's a fucking badass. I mean, this is- Is that you on the left? Who's that guy? Which guy? Oh, I don't know. Hey! He's got a chair! He's got a chair! Don't do this! What shirt is he wearing? There's no turning!

The worry was that he hurt his hand. But he said he's okay. Because that's the hand he had surgery on. Oh, no. But he said he's fine. Who's the other guy? Tyrese Halliburton from the Pacers. They knocked us out in seven. But our whole team was injured. But it's just, I'm just happy you got in the next year. Yeah, of course the Garden was champion MVP. Because it's in New York. Oh.

But they're buddies. I mean, it's fun. Wrestling is fucking fun. It's a fun. It's good acting. It really, dude, it's sports and entertainment. Yeah. It's Broadway for men. Yeah. Fully straight men. Nah. I like, I think, I like Broadway too, but yeah, wrestling's fucking great. It's fucking, it's fun. I've never been, I've never seen it live. Except for the Mexican.

Yeah, I haven't really... My dad took me when I was real young. I don't remember, though. Who was your wrestler growing up? Stone Cold. Yeah. Yeah. He'd just fucking get two cokes, just pour on myself when he'd win. Go to my buddy's house who had an illegal box to watch the pay-per-view. Oh, yeah. I used to... I liked to rock a little bit. I liked Sting. I liked Sting.

I like D-Generation X, like X-Pac. Oh, dude, the suck it. I got suspended from school for doing the suck it. Who did? That was a movement. It wasn't even me. The teacher didn't see me. A lady walking by the school. Wave down, Mr. Callis. R.I.P. my guy.

Told him, got fully suspended. What? What are we doing? What a Karen. Coming out of the bushes to get a kid in trouble. The originator of Karen. Yes. Full Karen. Kill dialogue. Literally. Yeah. Had to, God, that was bad. You're a kid at school. That's what you do. Well, you know when your teacher would, like, or when the yard duty, we had, like, time where you had to sit and eat, and the yard duty would walk back and forth. It's like the guard, you know? He wasn't looking. We're like, suck it. Yeah. Yeah.

Remember Mr. Socko? You put the sock on him? Yes. Mankind? I got thrown out of class. I remember you telling me that story. What does that mean? You put a sock on your hand and you stick it down their throat. Oh, shit. You get in trouble for that one. That was Mick Foley. I met him once. He's cool as fuck. That's aggravated assault. It is. Pretty much. Oh, wow. I never did the sock move.

Mankind. He was a fucking man, dude. Yeah. Remember the tack match or something? Oh, my God. That guy took fucking... He took a beating. Crowbar. Oh, Jesus. The mandible claw. You know how hard... For real. Getting fish hooked or having shit in your mouth like that, that hurts. Yeah. That's what Vince McMahon got in trouble for, for real. Yeah.

That guy like can't, it's so weird to build that and you just can't show up anymore. I know, that's sad. He built it, but he's like, you just can't poop on employees.

I guess not. Is that what happened? Yeah, he was shitting on women's chess. You just said it was such a straight face. You said it like you were reading off a court document or something. Dana White, you hear that? Don't shit on anyone's chess. We like the UFC. Here it is, Mark. Don't fuck it up. They merged with the WWE. Is that right? Yeah. Oh, shit. You got the sock and the rock. There's DJ Khaled. Do you have any recs, Julian?

Any recommendations? I got some peeves. Four peeves, either one. My recommendation is to watch You Changed on Amazon. Good one, good one. Sam Morrell.

Good one. Special. Number two. Had one at a different place, but we want to be this year. Number six, but... Hey, look at that. Two big ones. Two big ones. Full Heil. Yeah. You're like... The show took a weird turn here. I was waving. Where is that at? That's at the Wilbur. Yeah. Beantown. The Wilbur's... Is that where we're... Oh, shit. The Wilbur's one of the... I've been there. I've seen a concert there. It's beautiful. It's beautiful. I love it. You're going to kill it. It's a great room for comedy and anything.

Yeah, man. It's going to be like a talent show. We'll get up there and sing and dance. It'll be like one of those old 1950s shows. You could do it. That's better than I thought it would be, though. You can kind of dance.

I mean, I'm a receiver in national football. I've got to have some footwork. Oh, yeah. I can cut a rug or two. To me, the hardest part about the NFL, I mean, obviously the gridiron, but what about the locker room? Those swinging dongs everywhere? I mean, it's like you're swinging on vines just to get to the shower. Yeah.

Tarzan in there. It's all dick. You don't want to be a National Geographic bird watcher. No bird watching. Gotta be respectful. No bird watching. No bird watching. Yeah, blinders on.

But they're swinging. They must be. This is the most elite men in the world. Yes, exactly. It's a large group. Yeah. You can't help but admire by accident sometimes. Of course.

The talent. I'm straight, but look, that's fucking crazy. Oh, yeah. It's been a few. Past the knee. There was a scene on any given Sunday where they had a black guy with just an enormous dick. Really? They just kept it in. Pull it up. It was like a weird scene where Cameron Diaz was just talking to a guy with just a giant hog. Wow.

And I was like, what director was like, we got to make this real. Let's audition some giant cocks for this movie. And that was kind of a good movie, though. Oh, it was fun as hell. Al Pacino, Jamie Foxx. They threw up that Pacino speech during one of the Knicks playoff games. Of course, they cut out the best parts where he's cursing, but. That can't be it. Oh, I've pictured better than that. Yeah, maybe it wasn't great. But with her shaking the hand, this is kind of hot. The background looks like. Maybe it was the whole picture. Maybe I was picturing the whole thing. Isn't that like Davis?

Who's that? Chris Penn? Is that Schrager? Who the hell was that? It looks like Davis from the owner of the Raiders. Al Davis. Not Al. Son, what's his... Huh? Mark. It looks like Mark Davis. That could be. No way. Who's this, though? Pfft.

Oh, Karen Diaz was hot back in the 90s, huh? You'd still hit it. Oh, sure. I'd hit her dead. But yeah, she was something. She used to sell weed to Snoop Dogg at Hollywood High. Really? Yeah, fun fact. Heard about that. Hollywood High was a big hot spot. I mean, she had a fucking problem. Wasn't that Long Beach?

Was that Long Beach? I thought Hollywood High was right on Sunset. I don't know if it was. I think it was Long Beach. Oh, maybe. You're probably right. LBC is kind of high being Snoop in it. You're right. LB. All right, here's a peeve. Yeah, hit us. First of all, I got two. One, I'm sick of QR codes. Can we get done with the QR code with the menu?

I know it's a little basic, but give me a paper menu. Give me something to hold. I'm offended by it. Enough shit on my... By the way, the worst thing is when you click it and you're like, fuck, my last window was a porn thing. You're just like, load, load. Yeah, yeah. And then sometimes your friend can't get it to work, so you got to give them your phone. I don't have a phone. I hate it. The worst is when there's no internet or reception and you got to use the menu...

To get on, like, how am I watching? I've had, like, four or five incidents where I'm like, how do I, how am I supposed to look? Yeah. I don't have reception. Exactly. And there's no Wi-Fi. I got a peeve to go off your peeve. The dark restaurants where everyone's taking out their fucking cell phone flashlight. Oh, the light. To read the menu. I'm like, what are we, fucking 80 and living in Boca? You feel like Biden over there. You're like, ugh. I want to put on Junior Soprano glasses, too. I'm like, what am I doing?

I've had to do it a couple times. Yeah. It's annoying. We don't need to be that dark. I'm with my parents. I'm not trying to fuck them. Yeah. I get it. I was doing oral with the lady. The power went out. I had the light down there. It was rude. I felt like a minor. And you yelled, Echo. You were a minor. Yeah. Had to put a canary in there. Good thing she wasn't a minor. I got a pet peeve. All right.

My pet peeve is when you have communal food. You order food. I won't call any names, but there's specific people in my group. You order food, and when you are about to serve or you put all the food out to start going through it, I want people to wash their hands because there's bread. Maybe we both touch bread. It's going to happen. We should all wash hands. I hate when people are going in and double dipping.

Or like using like communal. Wow. You know what I mean? Good to know. I'm pet peeve with that. I didn't know that about you. I'll be better. Washing hands before I eat communal food. Like I'll go out on – I'll just go out and show everyone like, hey, I'm washing my hands. Whoa.

I didn't take you as a germaphobe. I didn't know that. I'm not a germaphobe. Just with eating sometimes. Interesting. We've shared food. You turned me on to my favorite pizza place in New York probably. I'd never been to Arturo's before. I love Arturo's. I'd never been there before you. My Lisa is there, right? That lady, she hooks it up. I just love the vibe too. Vibe. Good vibe. Great pizza. You get live music.

I took my friend Mateo Lane there, comedian. Yeah. He gets up. They let us in the kitchen to make a pizza. And then Mateo gets on the because he wanted to shoot a thing for his YouTube. He gets on the fucking piano. The guy's playing piano. He sings Fly Me to the Moon for the whole restaurant. And he's getting applause. Yeah. It was incredible. That's amazing. That's like that's such a fun New York night. Yeah. That's a New York night. I love that. Like that I missed when I lived here for a little bit. I

I didn't leave it here long. I miss you living here, dude. Yeah. But like you go into a random spot, you get some live music, someone pops in like that. Like that shit happens. The best. So cool. And it's great food. I miss the food.

I've never been to that. We're going to Fort Charles this week. Oh, it's good. Oh, it's one of my favorites. It's so fucking hard. It's like so hard to get a reservation. For you? For everyone. I remember winning Super Bowl MVP once. Like once. I like that. Yeah. Lex. Don't worry about it. And I tried to get a res like immediately after got shot down. In Boston? No.

No, here. Oh, well, that's why. Yeah. Are you throwing that out there? Hey, Super Bowl MVP. No. By the way, those Super Bowl MVP Boston credits don't transfer to New York. They don't.

In Boston, you get whatever you want. But in New York, we're like, yeah. But it was a fresh Super Bowl. Yeah. I was literally doing something. What's the restaurant? Do you remember? Fort Charles. Damn. What's Fort Charles? It's a fucking really good burger. They got like a crazy burger, crazy French dip. They got good drinks, too. It's just like, I like it. It's a cool spot. Great handheld food. All right. French dip is phenomenal. The burger, they serve it with white gloves. Ooh-wee.

I went in the, because I went on to a radio show and someone called in and said they got me a reservation. Or something, right? Didn't we get it through that? Yeah.

I was like, anyone got a reservation out there? I'm trying to get to Fort Charles. And I went in with the most hateful, spiteful fucking mind. And it exceeded all my expectations. Wow. I couldn't even hate. I brought my buddy Gary Veeder there. And he was... I mean, that's why we went. It was like a big tour thing. He was like, I want Fort Charles. He's showing me all the... We'd be on the road. He'd be showing me the pictures of them soaking the egg yolk all over the burger. Like a cum shot. And I'm like, all right. Love it. We got to go. There's other great burgers. But now, you know...

It was cool. It's a fun... I don't know. I liked it. So I'm going to go check that out. I got a couple of spots I got to turn to. Raul's got a good burger, too. That's a good burger. I heard that. Like, it's...

The flakiness of the bun, which it's a steak and frites spot, and you can only eat the burger at the bar. They have a certain number. It's like a fucking hassle. It's crazy, but it's worth it. And they have a peppercorn sauce, but they're bread, and they have a arugula, something on there. And I don't like those kind of foo-foo-y type burgers.

But this thing knocked my socks off and it's like they have a real crusty bread. So it's almost like a croissant because it's like a French spot. I don't know if it's that or am I just imagining that? Has anyone had it?

Those pop up on my Instagram all day, and Raul's is always amazing. It's spectacular. It's like a dip one, though. I like other burgers, but I don't like that usually, but it's fucking good. We got to go to Minetta sometime. Oh, that's a good burger. We had Minetta, didn't we? Maybe. Corner Bistro's good. Corner Bistro's just fine. I like 7th Street Diner. That was like a Bourdain spot. Yeah, I got really fucked up at...

That's a good looking burger. I got really fucked up at Corner Bistro one night, Julian. And the bartender and I hit it off. He was a great guy. And he goes, we got a comedian here the other night. And I was like, oh, yeah. He's like, yeah, like a big comedian. I was like, oh, yeah. Who? He goes, some guy named Mark Norman. Oh. All right. Well, I go there a lot. I live in the area. It's a great spot. Where is Fort Charles? I want to try to get in. Oh, Fort Charles.

Where? It's 4 Charles. Oh, it's 4 Charles. I thought you said Fort. No. I see. Oh, Charles Street. All right. That's in my hood. It's a prime. I love prime rib. Ooh, baby. That is snazzy. Look at that place. Jeez. I mean, I can't. They got an old school sundae that'll knock your socks off, too. I think we had that. It was good. Dude, everything is fucking good. Look at that. It's good. And they got good drinks. I'm in. Yeah. But it's fucking so hard to get into. It's like crazy. Yeah.

yeah it looks like the bank was it the bank street in oh waverly in no that place that place on banks no i think it's still cooking okay but whatever all right huh you're talking about the beatrice in no bank street bar banks it's on banks or waverly i don't know but all right what's a good la spot what's your like a go-to la spot there's a few i like burger she wrote

burgers it's like a big smash burger spot right now it's like everyone's doing smash they got for the winds pretty good burgers never say dies they're all kind of like similar but they're good everyone's doing like the potato bun i've been making my own burgers good i got i got a blackstone and i go get my own chuck like i usually go get like i'll mix the chuck and like a kobe and so it's the fat content's good got a couple different style burgers i got the frankberg i got the

Regular McDonaldberg. You go egg or no egg? No egg. But you got to go egg at this place. Nah, I'm not an egg guy. Are you serious? I'm not an egg guy on my burger. It's an amateur thing. Damn. Look at that bacon in there. Thick cut bacon. Do you go bacon on the burger? I'm not a bacon guy either. I'm not a bacon guy either. I like it. Now, if I'm going to go bacon, it has to be not on this style burger because this sauce is different. I like bacon on a barbecue sauce cheddar cheeseburger.

And with like a red onion. What about Boston? Give me best lobster roll in Boston. I liked Yankees. I used to go to Yankees. There's this little spot over there by – what's that – what's the concert venue there by –

Seaport. It's over in the Seaport. It's been there forever. Before all this new stuff. I recognize this place. Oh, there you go. Yeah. I always liked theirs. Okay. We had Row 34 a couple of times. That was good. Row 34 is really good. And they were nice as fuck, too. Yeah.

Very solid. They gave the whole crew little beanies. Legal seafood. Classic. But there's three levels to the legals. Oh, really? Yeah, there's like the test kitchen. There's like a regular level, then there's like a high dining level, then there's like a bar sushi level or something. Yeah. So there's like three levels to it. So which level do you want? Right.

What, there's another one that's really good in Boston though, right? Like what's another good, what's the, um, what's the, uh, place in the North end, the oyster house. Um, I heard that one's killer. Yeah. Oyster house. That's one Vita was talking. It's like the seafood. There's a bunch of good seafood. Union. No, not the union. What's the one that everyone goes to in North end? Is that it? It's like up in the Cuddy off Salem. I don't know. Everyone talks about it. It's,

I forgot the name. There's a chowder place around there, too, that's pretty damn good. Yeah. I got a hot take, and I lived in Boston for 12 years. I like the San Francisco chowder better. Oh. What? Do Boston people know this about you? It's very similar. It's like a cream base. It's not like a New York. I like the New York. I like the manna. Yeah, like the water tomato base. Yes. Like, it's a cream base. But the only reason I like it better is because you get them in a sourdough bread bowl.

bro and the sourdough out there is fucking insane that's the best part of soup you know what I mean is the bread Soda Mori in SF I remember we were young comics one night and Amy Schumer rented out the whole place and we were like just like shuffling food into our face all night food gaming in SF is really good I haven't been in a long time but I love SF but just like that that is insane also the other one there that what's the other one

No, the one that it's like just the bar, but San Francisco Swan Oyster Depot. Oh, Bourdain went there. That was a Bourdain. Oh my God. The owner just looks like fucking Bay Area Colin Quinn. It's awesome. Dude, it's an awesome. It's that guy. That's the guy. That looks amazing. Oh, it's, it's epic. And you went, yeah, I've been a couple of times. Really? The line's fucking brutal. Yeah. Well, it's just a bar. Yeah.

But it's, yeah, you go in there, you get a beer, you get some crab back. Woo! You get some shrimp cocktail. It's fucking crazy good. I'm in. Good. I mean, SF is awesome. I know. I haven't been there in a minute, but. Me neither. I hope it stays strong. I miss walking around that city. Great Chinese food in SF, too. Great Chinese food. Yeah. Great Chinese food. No, I miss going. That's my favorite Chinese food. Like, I don't know.

I couldn't find good Chinese other than the Bay Area until I came to New York. All right. I don't love... I heard you... Didn't you say something that you like LA Chinese? I love LA Chinese. I don't think it's that great. Really? Yeah. I think there's some pretty... I don't love it, but there's some good spots there for sure. New York is slipping a little bit in Chinese. I feel like we used to have great Chinese, and now I feel like Thai kind of overtook the Chinese. Ooh!

Is that crazy? I agree. Well, the shop's closed. Chinatown used to be bumping it. You'd go there two in the morning. You'd get anything you wanted. After COVID, no more. COVID fucked it up. You're a Chinese New York connoisseur. I mean, how do you feel about that? It completely changed. It used to be like this American-style Chinese. Now, any place you go, it's Sichuan. It's like over spicy. I like it a lot, too, but it changed from what my childhood was. But...

I'll adapt. Did it change or did you change? Oh, they're amazing. Yeah, haven't been there in a long time. On Bayard? Yeah. Or Baxter? Yeah. I used to order from there and then what was the other place? Woe Hop. Woe Hop. There's Pips. Nom Wah.

I like dumplings. Love a dumpling. Love a potsticker dumpling, whatever you... A gyoza. Yeah. I like pan fried. I like making them. You know, you get the frozen ones, even though they're frozen, but you can fucking...

Doll those babies up. Yeah. I love to doll them up. Crunchy with a little water in there. Oh, yeah. What's dim sum? Is that where you pick as you go? It's like all dumplings. Yeah. A bunch of them. Oh, Yang Sing in SF is a fucking spot for dim sum. Yang Sing? That's a good one. Yeah. I used to go to- It's also the name of the massage parlor there. They yank you, you sing. I don't know.

No, it's a great. Yang Sing is great. I've never been. Oh, it's fucking. I haven't been to San Francisco Chinese in a long time. I used to go to this place called Flower Drum or Suhong in like Redwood City, Menlo Park, Palo Alto. Yeah. San Carlos area. Fire. Suhong. All right. Last P. We got a lot out of that QR code thing. Hold on. All right. How about this one?

Coffee shops that close early. Oh. What is that? I feel this. You know, like I'll stay in a hotel and they're like, we have a Starbucks in the lobby. And you're like, oh, great. I got a Starbucks in the lobby. Then you go down there at 1. They're like, oh, we wrap up at 10. You're like. I'll go you further. They're closed by 5. I'm fucking annoyed. Yeah. Like, I want a coffee when I want a coffee. But they think, oh, it's the morning time. I'm an afternoon coffee guy. Like, I like, I drink a lot of coffee. Same.

You drink a ton of coffee. I do. I make my own. Oh, okay. Well, what if you're out of the house? I live in LA. It's like everything's fucking... I'm not getting in the car. It's 30 minutes. But this is the road comic. Yeah. But even... I make my own too, but sometimes when you're on the road and you're like...

I'm with you. Like, if it's... I need... Some of these go to these small towns and they just don't... Yeah. They're like, we close up shop early. Yeah. I just need caffeine. I don't want to have... I fucking hate energy drinks. I hate Monterey. Yeah, no thank you. I got hooked on them for a sec. Like that Celsius thing. It tasted good as fuck. At first. But I heard they're like terrible for you. So I went back to coffee. Of course they are. They taste great. And they're like, it helps your metabolism. Like, something's off. Yeah. Something is off. Yeah, come on. Cut it out. Too good to be true. But they...

Yeah, and I had Monster sponsored one of my tours, so I had to pretend to like it for a while. So it would be on stage. I do like Monster, though. Really? Oh, there you go. Or Red Bull. If you guys want to pay me again, I totally like Monster. Yeah, I love Amp.

That was like, I would literally just say it. I would like, I would just like, people knew it was the sponsor. So I would like hold it up and be like, I love monster. And we'd get a huge laugh. Like they knew it was like, I just had to have it up for the closer UFC fighters do that. They got like one eye swollen, their lips busting, they're holding up the can. I get that paycheck.

I hate that shirt. Yeah, yeah, you got to do it. Everyone puts on a shirt after the victory. Yeah, that's another thing comedians don't get. Race car drivers, they got Tide, they got Windex, they got peanut butter, whatever on their car. We should just wear shit. Yeah, this dick joke is brought to you by Tide. When your socks are crunchy, Tide will get them out.

Mark's in his new special. He's rocking a Mercedes shirt. I'm like, geez, you've changed, man. Exxon Mobil pants. What? Why not? Yeah, coffee at the thing. Got to get it. Got to have a...

Yeah. At the house? No, late. Oh, yeah. Come on. They close early. What's acceptable? Seven o'clock? I'm not in that world. I don't do that. I usually just... Maybe five? Five is acceptable. Five? In New York City, I want a little later than five. Sure. You could go to a deli for that, though. You could. That's true. You can get any... That's true. Like, that's...

Deli coffee's underrated, too. It's like gas station coffee, kind of. Yeah, gas station coffee's great. I love it. 7-Eleven's great. I'm not a coffee snob. If someone gives me a cool boutique coffee, that's great, but I can drink gas station coffee all day. I did it for years. I love it. That's what I... Yeah. No fruit. Actually, I've been drinking...

I can drink any coffee, but when someone does bring you a good coffee, you're like, man, that's- That's true. For sure. It's pretty funny. No, you notice it. For sure. You notice the taste, and you feel more jacked up, too. You're like, ooh, baby. I romanticize a gas station coffee because I'm like, I'm on the fucking road. Yeah. There's something cool about it, you know? Today was free Slurpee day. Did you get one? I got two. I went to two different 7-Elevens. Did you really? What a country.

You're rich, dude. You don't need a free 7-Eleven. It's a novelty. Hey, 7-Eleven's doing free Slurpee Day. And I was bonding with people. I was like, hey, Slurpee, Slurpee.

Sounds like a real deep connection. What flavor? Well, a lot of them were taken cause it was, you know, free. Would you have like the yellow one? I got the fentanyl flavor. That's all I had left. He's pissing in the fucking machine. He's like, I got in there at one. There was a softball team in there, a bunch of kids with, you know, with bats and shit. I was like, I'll go to the next one. And, uh,

So you didn't get two at one? I got Coke on one of them, and I got Cherry on the other. So did you go to three different spots? I did, yeah. Well, there's one by my house that's a block away. Got one there. Went to another one. Softball team. Went to another one later. Three spots, two flavors, Coke and... Cherry. Cherry. And I tried the Blue Raspberry when it was out. That's a fucking good... Dude, why is Blue always the best flavor? Gatorade Blue is my favorite. Oh, yeah. Blue Chew.

My favorite Gatorade is probably, I like the old three flavors that they had. Lemon Lime and Fruit Punch. Yes. Fruit Punch was big. Remember Lemon Ice? Lemon Ice. Any of the lemon ones I like? Lemon Ice was money because they would do the contest and it was the only clear flavor. So you could literally just hold the fucking bottle up and be like, I won. Oh, interesting. Under the bottle cap. Crazy. You guys remember 10K? Yeah.

You might be too young for that. That was a sports drink before Gatorade, and then Gatorade put it out. It was like Blockbuster and Netflix. 10Ks before Gatorade? I think so. Gatorade was like in the 60s. 10K, there it is. You never did 10K. Maybe that was big in the South. Wow. I've never heard of that. Gatorade was invented, I think, in the 60s. Yeah, it's old school. Maybe you're right. Florida Gators. They usurped 10K. They put them out. That looks like a straight 80s, bubs. A straight Sonny D. Yeah.

It was sugar water for sure. Well, that's all it is. Yeah. We should wrap up. But Julian, Games With Names podcast, great fucking podcast. I miss doing it with you. It was so fucking fun. We miss you, man. We got to get you back out when you're in L.A. Yeah, I'll hit you up for sure. I'd love to do it again, man. If you ever shoot the show in New York again, let me know. We'll rock it out. But, I mean, dude, you're killing it. The show's getting – it's so good. It's been fun. It's been fun, man. And, you know, and –

It's constantly, you know how it goes when you're building something. You're in the grind of it. We got a big week coming up, coming forward. We got a bunch of special guests. Can you hint to any of them or no? I think we got Casey Affleck coming on. Oh, that's a good shit. We have potentially the GOAT.

He should come on. I mean, it's tough. You pitched it at the fucking roast. Why do you have to sell yourself? Yeah, you're constantly different. Come on, Tom. For fuck's sake. We got him coming. Who else we got? We have...

That's it. All right, all right. We have a wrestler coming, too. Oh, another one. That's fucking... Badass. Two Boston royalty. I mean, beyond Boston royalty, but two big Academy Award winners. Tampa Bay, bro. Yeah. Went to Tampa Bay, dude. How do you feel about that? I think he's cool. He's fucking... Yeah. I really don't care. It's good for him. It was cool to see Belichick at the roast. Oh, it was fun. That was nice, because it's like, you just want...

I'm not even a fucking Patriots fan, but it just felt right for the universe. Yeah, of course. Yeah. Good to have them. It's like a big therapeutic session. Yeah. We're all on the table. Get it all out. Just get it out. Booze and roasts. They just saved the day, but yeah. That was a fun gig. It was fucking... You crushed it, man. I was proud of you. It was so cool. But there hadn't been that many roasts in a while. No. You know what I mean? I feel like... The country needed it. I don't know, but I feel like we haven't seen a roast...

Cause I remember watching Jeff Ross roast all the time. Totally. They roasted Trump. They roasted Chevy chase. They roasted Baldwin. Baldwin. Yeah. Yeah. It's Charlie Sheen. Yeah. It was fun. Pam and come to think of it, really bad things happen to people after they got roasted. Hopefully you don't put, I got, yeah, I got a casino in Hammond, Indiana. I'm with Chrissy D and a knee match for that gig. Tickets are fucking slow and Hammond guys. Sorry. Uh,

It's going to be a fun gig, though. I'm at the Miami Improv August 1st through 3rd working on new shit. It's not there yet, so I apologize, but it's getting there. Prior Lake, Minnesota, another casino with Chrissy D and Nemesh. Then we got Baltimore the 15th through the 17th at Magoobies. Stress Factory in Jersey the 22nd through 24th.

And then I'm off to Niagara Falls in September. And then London, Belfast, Dublin, Paris, Amsterdam. I had a second show there, so don't make me feel dumb for adding that, please. Copenhagen, Oslo, Stockholm. And the new special you've changed on Prime Video, Sam Morrell, you've changed. Please give it a watch. Give it a watch. It's a killer special. Hey!

Coming up, Cedar Rapids, Rockford, Illinois, Rochester, Minnesota, Hampton Bay, and the Hamptons, Richmond, Virginia, Greensboro, Anaheim, Thousand Oaks, Redding, PA, Red Bank, Colorado Springs, Fort Collins, St. Louis, Missouri, Atlanta, Georgia, Orlando, Florida, Fort Lauderdale, to name a few, marknormancomedy.com. Go to Punch-Up. Get a goddamn bottle of Bodega Cat.

It's available near you. It's all online. It's in Texas, Florida, Kentucky, California, New York City. And yeah, Julian, thanks for coming on. And Providence. I saw Providence in there. Am I going to Providence? Providence, Rhode Island. Hell yeah. I love Providence. Great town. Great to have you, man. Go to Federal Hill. Good Italian.

Very good. Great Italian. And you get some fucking cheap restaurants, too, because some are fucking fronts, if you know what I mean. You got that right. Give it a shot. I'm going to say anything. All right. Thanks for listening, guys. Get some Bodega Cat at bodegacatwhiskey.com. We're going through cases like crazy now because it's at the fucking comedy cellar and the stand and all the New York comedy clubs. So thank you so much. Suck it, Clooney. We're coming for you. See you soon. Sunday for my next vendor juice close.

And Norman's talking shit about Ken Pope in the same way. Up on the roof like a cop, feeling dangerous. I'm out to lunch here in Newlands. This woman doesn't look like I remember her. Be true.