Pathetic Simp Drowning In Debt For Mail-Order Wife | Financial Audit
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It was while we were on vacation. Vacation? I had to borrow $1,600 just to afford to go on that vacation. Oh! Hi, my name is Mason. I'm 29 years old. I'm based out of Mountain View, California, and this is Financial Audit.

Oh, we're the same age and we have curly hearing glasses. The whole comment section is going to be like, Oh, it's another Caleb twin and the Caleb verse. Okay. Well, okay. Or as Noah says, the Ozempic version of Caleb. Yes. Uh, my producer. So yeah. What do you do for a living in California? I actually work at a, um, EV, uh, infrastructure, uh,

Tesla? No, no, no. I don't work at Tesla. I work at an EV integrator. They are a competitor to Tesla. What do you do? What's your job? I work as a R&D engineer. That's kind of what I do there. Sounds like money. What are you making? I make no money, which is why I work there. So I only make $80,000.

Yeah, a year. What the f*** are you talking about? I make no money. Okay. Ha ha ha, yeah. But that doesn't... The rent there is like... That's money. The rent's like $2,000. What town? Mountain View. Okay. Yeah, it's expensive. Yeah, it's like $2,000 a month. It's like half my paycheck. Oh, $3,000 a month. Well, how much are you contributing to retirement? I honestly... I don't even know. I don't look at any of those...

Maybe you don't know. You had to have set it up and chosen the amount. I just clicked through buttons. I really don't know. Well, I can't get into your retirement account, so I wouldn't know. Why was payroll in only $2,115? Yeah. Why? That's just... That's not your payroll. It is. $80,000 now. Yeah. After taxes and fees. Yeah. That is... That means you're contributing an insane amount to your 401k or something. I don't know.

That's why you feel like you make... Did you give us your 401k statement? I don't even know how to get it. Are you like a hopeless child? We're the same age. I guess that's funny. If I think about it, then I would look at it. But why would I... If it just dawned automatically, then... There's probably the think about it stage would be when we asked you for documents. Yeah. Okay. All right. So, no offense, but...

What the f***, buddy? In no way, shape, or form are your taxes going down from $80,000 a year to $25,000 a year.

You're not in the top tax bracket. Top tax bracket after everything in California and federal, that's like 50%. Sure, but you're not in the tax top bracket. I get paid every two weeks, not every month. So that would be more like, what, $48 to $52? I think everyone else gets paid. I feel like it's not $20,000. I feel like it's a little bit more than that. But you just...

You just told me that the $2,115 that came in was correct. Yes, that is what comes in. That equals $25,000 a year, buddy. So which one is it? Is that wrong or is that correct? I think you're doing your math to monthly pay, isn't it? This is what came in in the last month. Payroll, that's how I'm asking how that's realistic. That's what came in in payroll the last month.

I have no idea. What is your account on a monthly basis, buddy? Buddy, what is your account on a monthly basis? On a monthly basis, I expect $4,000. Okay, so that would be a paycheck, not a month. Yeah, a paycheck, yes. Okay. It's okay. It's okay.

I'm just literally just trying to figure out baseline. Yeah, okay. Now that can be a bit more reasonable. You know, we're talking maybe $50,000 a year. Yeah. Still don't think your taxes would get you to that. But after health insurance, maybe you're doing some HSA. Okay.

and maybe a decent amount to 401k math could start mathing now here's the here's my question you said i'm making no money for the area which again eighty thousand dollars does not go as much there absolutely not don't get me wrong i'm not trying to say it does but if you feel like the money that's hitting your account right why don't you look into where it's going i don't

Honestly, don't ever look at my accounts. I just swipe the card and then I keep cash if it gets declined. No, the pay. The pay hidden in your account. Why don't you look? I just don't. No, no, no. Sorry. I don't mean these accounts. I mean your pay. Like pay stubs. Like where the money is. Could you get access to a pay stub for me? Yeah, I can get access to pay stubs. Those are on a platform that I have access to. That you have access to right now? Yes.

You pull it up right now? Oh, yeah. Okay. I can show you my paycheck. Oh, yeah. Okay. That's my last paycheck. Thank you for pulling this up so quickly. You only have 12% battery if you need. So this was one? One, yeah. Okay. Very good. Very, very, very, very, very good. So we had taxes at 27%. Okay. Okay.

But we had post-tax deductions of 7.7%. There we go. Things are making a little more sense. Also, it's a little more than you suggested. So is this an average check, would you say? I would be an average check. Okay. So you're actually walking away with $4,564 a month. And after that post-tax deduction, ranging close to that 10%, things are starting to make more sense. Okay. Okay.

I wish I had a little more insights into specifically where everything went, but that's okay. All right, buds. Oh, my God. You know, I feel like we haven't even, like, started this conversation, but we've figured out the baseline. It's always an interesting one when we talk about the pay, and somehow that lasts, like, seven minutes, but we got there together. That's all that matters. I'm sure we did. Twins. Twins. So what's up, buddy? What's going on? Yeah, so...

currently uh i have a lot of debt and uh i am currently living out of my leased car i just threw a mad lease car and just okay yeah yeah so you're currently homeless yeah currently homeless okay yeah i'm sorry that yep it's okay i mean i'm well how long have you been it's only like uh it's only been like three weeks

Wow. What happened three weeks ago? So what happened three weeks ago is the guys whose room I was renting out, he ended up selling his property and kicked me out. And because I have no saved money, I couldn't even afford a down payment for another place. So what was your rent at that time? The rent at that time was $1,400 a month.

That's including utilities? Okay, so with that, I know you had debt, but in what way you're managing your finances in a way with after that $1,400, which is substantial for your post-tax income. Again, we need to look at those deductions. But in what way were you not saving any money? Like, how are you living? Yeah.

I, cause I've been trying to put a little extra towards the credit cards. Yeah. So I like, so if the credit card says, Oh, it's $200 a month, I would be like, okay, two 50. If it said it was like one 78, I would be like, okay, 200. Uh, so like, I really don't know how much that he goes out to as I don't really look too hard at my balances or where stuff goes. I just kind of like, no stuff goes places. Yeah.

is all of mountain view pretty safe or are there dangerous areas no most of it's really safe okay well good news then i am seeing some places for like two thousand dollars that are one bedroom yeah um now yes you know you have to pay for a background check sometimes application fees security deposits sometimes first month last month you know things like that here's 1.9 000 that's right off a highway so it's a little noisier probably but it is there and it actually looks

pretty nice inside. But like $2,000 is still like half my entire paycheck. I get that. It's too much. I get that. It's too much. Yes. I get that. Which is what I was saying. What we have to do is if about 10% are going to you know retirement accounts you might need that 10% right now.

But isn't the whole thing supposed to be that you're supposed to put as much as you can towards your retirement income? Quiz. Pop quiz. Sure. Are you homeless? Yes. Oh, that's interesting. Yeah, I think we solved that. I have a place to sleep.

In your car. That's not necessarily safe though, man. That's not necessarily safe. And you know, if a frequent storm happens and like, for some reason you don't have gas, like people have gotten in trouble when they live in their car and those types of situations, of course that's a rarity, but even still break-ins and different things. Well,

you know, showering is more or less convenient. It's harder to live. Even, even though you're saving money on rent. Yes. It's harder to save money on these other things. You're going to be eating less healthy. Your sanitation is going to be less healthy. There's a lot of downsides and again, just basic safety as well.

So what? Your plan is to live in a car until you're 59 and a half and you can start taking money out of your tax advantage retirement accounts? I was planning on living in my car until at least I feel like I have a better handling on my situation. Now, why do you have to live in an expensive place like this? With your background, it seems like you might be able to get a good job. Clearly, you're not from there. You have...

a shirt on from the land of corn. Yeah, I am from the land of corn. Why do you have to live in one of the most expensive cities in the world? It's because I actually never went to college. But have you built up the experience now on the resume? I guess, yeah, you could say I built up the experience on the resume, but I don't know. It just feels like it's so hard to...

Show that when most places are expecting throwing your resume through an AI and be like, unless you say bachelors, we're not even going to look at your resume. They don't care. You have four years of experience being a integration engineer for a company that does

millions in revenue. Yeah, it's certainly complicated. It really depends on the industry and it depends on the job market. There is a certain threshold where to recruiters and to certain jobs that a certain amount of experience will essentially negate, you know, the education thing that's there because, you know, you know,

bachelor's degree was 20 years ago and you know you have like 20 years of senior level experience you know that's what's going to take the priority there's a certain level it's not like there's a perfect math behind it and where that threshold hits on some bell curve but you know i would be curious to see like what does your resume look like is it horrible is this um and honestly i'm not saying to lie but who checks like your college degree don't yeah but we're not saying we're gonna yeah exactly they don't i know

Because clearly this is not working for you to be there. This job is not enough for you to live there in your current situation with the mess you've gotten yourself in while also trying to contribute as much as you are to retirement accounts. This is not working. Flat out. Or you're just going to need to get on a roommate website. There's that option as well. I obviously haven't done that. You know, I'm just looking at you renting your own one bedroom, one bath.

But, you know, maybe you're renting a bedroom with a shared bath at a place with like four other dudes or something. You know? What? Four people? That's crazy. You're living in a car. Shut the fuck up. I don't know. Yeah. I mean, sure, that's fair. But still, I don't know. You've never lived with other dudes? I lived with two other people before in my old living situation.

And but I was kind of like separate. It wasn't. Yeah, you would get your own room, but you might share a bathroom. The sharing of the kitchen is the hardest part. That depends on who you live with. Hmm.

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Yeah. Laugh it off. Yes. Yes. But do you get to be that picky? I mean, that's fair, but I, I don't know. I, I made the choice. I figured like I could do it. So you want to, well, I, I feel like I don't really have very many options. So I feel like that the best option for me is just to stay homeless and

How long have you been in Mountain View? Me? I've been in Mountain View for two years. Okay, so what has the living situation been throughout then? So originally, I had moved to California to be with my then ex. And we ended up getting a place together. And so I paid for most of the stuff. So I paid for the...

um the initial move in um i paid for most of the furniture i paid for everything else uh and then uh paid for some cats that is basically entirely on a yeah whole totally on a credit card but paid for that pay for the cats and then she ended up uh kicking me out uh to be with somebody else because uh i didn't do enough for her or something

But tongue skills aren't on point. That's inappropriate. That's inappropriate. We don't make those kind of jokes. I make those kind of jokes. Okay. But what does that actually mean in all serious? It means that there was at least 12,000 in debt.

At that point in time. And that is you not doing enough for her? Yeah, that was, yeah. So she saw you as someone who wasn't contributing in a way and may not have the future that she's looking for. That's not an unreasonable reason to break up with someone necessarily. Yeah. Like I'm not saying you're this person, but I wouldn't want to be with someone that doesn't have any kind of, you know, ambition if they are kind of like stagnant in life. Again, not saying that's you, but I can kind of like recognize

correlate to if you're seeing someone who's in a lot of debt they're not really getting out of debt they're not really having the discipline in the future to get out of it is that who i want to lock myself down to now kicking you out that's different but especially to bring in someone else right away that's certainly different like i would want to give you a like you know but the thing is is like the debt was not it wasn't there before it was there because we decided to move yeah yeah right all of all 12 000 yeah

It's expensive. Yeah. Well, that's certainly not pet fees. No, it wasn't all pet. Like, it was like a $4,000 bed. There was like a $1,200 TV. Oh, for machines. Okay. Yeah. There was a $500 nightstand. Not nightstand, TV stand. The couch was like... So she specifically brought up the debt as the reason to break up and kick you out. No, she didn't bring up the debt. She just said that we weren't going anywhere. Oh, then maybe you weren't going anywhere, buddy. What? How do you bring... Okay. But like...

It wasn't like I wasn't doing anything. Yeah, but she said you guys weren't going anywhere. Maybe she didn't like you anymore. But the thing is... She's not entitled to like you. That was two months after we moved in. Trust me, I'm not saying she's right for the kick out. But if someone's not feeling it, they're allowed to break up. Of course. I understand that. But the kick out, that kind of sucks. How quick was the turnaround between get the f*** out and you had to get the f*** out? It was basically like...

A week. It was like, oh, hey, this new guy's coming over now. This new guy's coming over. That's fishy. Yeah, I know. So then you had to like scramble and find a place? Yeah, I had to scramble and find a place. Yep. And I got lucky. There's just some rich guy was like, I have a room available. I'm like, okay, sure. Well, speaking of rooms available, we've done the research now on the roommate site. If you go to roomies.com slash rooms slash Mountain View, California, lots of options under $1,200 a month.

And a few options under $1,000 a month. You can do that. You just need to be a little humble and accept that you can live in a place where other people use the kitchen besides yourself. Okay, yeah. I could. I could live in a place with somebody else for $1,000 a month versus staying in my car. I don't want to, but I could. Have you found...

a new girlfriend yet to live together in that area? Yeah. So, uh, I actually did meet somebody else. Um, Oh good. Okay. Yeah. Uh, within the last year, uh, she is actually, she was a, a foreign aid teacher that they, um, gave a visa to, to basically support teaching in the area.

For a year. So she's not a U.S. citizen is kind of what I'm getting at. Oh, sure. Okay. Okay. So, but we're already engaged.

and we're uh so i got it on like uh oh you're engaged yeah she had to go so she still has to go what visa was she here uh j1 j1 okay yeah and and she's here no no she's already gone back back in july 10th where back to china to finish her master's because she still hasn't had a year of masters you met her in person though i met her in person yeah yeah when she was because she was teaching here in america how long did you guys know each other before getting engaged um

six months okay uh i just i mean you know i just want to just out of safety for yourself are you are you sure 100 positive that this is you know for good intentions i just want to be protective yeah that's always the first question everyone asks i know and i feel rude for asking i really do and it's i i understand where it's coming from uh yes i we are i am sure because the original discussion was like i have to go to china

Okay. But the problem is that their restrictions on being able to immigrate to China is a lot. Yeah, that's why the population pyramid is collapsing. It's really stringent. Like you have to have, you know, a bachelor's. You have to have four scientific papers written. You have to be 15 plus work experience, right? Yeah, and that country is destroying themselves. Yeah. So the only other conversation we were able to have was, well, maybe you have to come to America, right? Yeah.

But then that also comes with a lot of complications too because now I have to spend $5,000 at least on immigration papers, not including potential lawyer fees. When she's here, are you guys going to live together? Is that going to solve the living problem? She's going to bring in income. That's the hope. When is she coming? So that depends on the lawyer situation because her J-1 visa requires a two-year. All right.

Two year. And then she can come? And then she can come, but... Oh, f*** me. So we got to figure out your situation. I don't give a s*** about that then. No offense. That's too far away. I need to figure out you now. We got to jump into these finances. We've been talking about setting you up now for a bit. Self-assessment before we jump into this first debt. Where do you think you are on financial scales? You're being the worst, 10 being the best. I would say...

Got your Hammer Financial Score? It's free. Link in the description below. If you have any interesting situations, any financial situations that you need help with and opinions you want challenged, feel free to come join me on the show. Go to calebhammer.com. So, U.S. Bank. Now that's an American bank. That's a bank of freedom. You owe...

Yeah, this is a lot. $3,793.77. And these minimum monthly payments, you and your situation without having any money left over, $123. These minimum monthly payments are going to stack. Yeah, that's only one of the US bank cards. Why? Buddy, you don't have rent anymore, so your expenses are a little lower. Why the possible...

Are you purchasing $108.53 on this card that is accruing $82 in interest that you're basically just making the minimums on slightly above? But why? Why are we purchasing? The balance went up. Oh, okay. Balance went slightly lower. Even though you put $200, it's because you got a payment credit. That's the only thing that saved you. It went down just a little.

It went down. Just a little, even though you put $200 towards it because you're purchasing on it. Why are you purchasing on a card that you cannot pay off that is accruing $82.64 of interest? And what kind of behavior is that? It's probably I needed food. So this is the situation that you align yourself in now because you do not have a place to live because you're not willing to get a roommate because you're a child. I'm not a child.

Well, adults sacrifice and get roommates. That's why I'm sacrificing and living in my car. No, buddy, but that's not an acceptable option. That puts you in danger. That is not what an adult doesn't put themselves in danger. I don't see it as being putting myself in danger. Well, I don't give a what you see. That doesn't matter. That's not safe.

And also, it's unproductive to a lot of parts of life. Again, now you have to shove likely less than healthy food in you. You always have to figure out where you're going to put your car. Sanitation is a completely different story. You've got to stop somewhere just to take a sh**. And you've got to brush your teeth somewhere and shower and figure it out. Yes, acting like a child is not willing to share a kitchen with someone. That is being a child. I don't care if you're offended by that. People are willing to share kitchens. I've had to deal with

Really bad roommates. Yes. Bad roommates suck. Yeah. You would be going to lunch with them a few times. There is a lot of things. I've had a bad roommate and I've had plenty of good roommates. Good roommates can be good. You might make lifetime friends with them, buddy. I know a bad experience like that might turn you off from it. And I do get that getting over that hump might be difficult, but it is something worth at least talking to people about.

Fair. $1,000. We found places for $1,000 where you could rent a room with people looking to rent a room. Yeah. So while you're paying for parking, I don't think we're shocked. They're auto parts. So we're getting things for your home, I guess. I don't even remember what that's for. Showplace icon. Movies. That's not I need food. That's not getting food. You can't afford to go to the movies if you can't afford to have a roof over your head.

But there's some movies I like going out and watching. It's not a... I understand it's a luxury, but I don't do it very often. How do you justify doing it at all? The basic things that you have to take care of just as a human being for just any sort of decency. There's also... I can't say this for a fact because it's going to determine on the person-to-person basis, but a lot of people lose their sense of humanity.

when they find themselves in homeless situations, which you are. I know you consider your car that right now. You've only been doing it for two weeks, but I don't want you to lose that either. And no offense, actually, who offends you? I don't give a shit. A movie is not more important than your humanity. It's not. Okay? Starbucks? Coffee. I know! You said it's just getting food! It's not just getting food! If it was just getting food...

That would be different. You're getting movies. You're getting auto parts, which you might need to get. And you're getting coffee. No child. When I said child, this is what it means. And then Wingstop for $22. You could get cheaper food. If you have to survive, get a sub for like five bucks or get a cooler. We'll get a thermos.

What do you want for yourself, buddy? What do you want for yourself? You seem content. You come here, you want help, but you seem content. I live in my car and it's okay. What do you want? What are you trying to get? What do you want to do? I would ideally want to help a little bit with my situation. Like if I felt like I could afford to do more, I would do more. I just feel like I can't. Feeling's not a, that's not reality. That's not reality. I get panic attacks a lot.

That's a feeling. It's not reality. My body's telling me that something bad's happening, but nothing is.

I don't give a shit if you feel like you can't afford anything. Mathematically, if you're willing to share a kitchen with somebody, you can afford it. With your $4,000 whatever dollars, you know, $3,793, it's, you know, let's say you do $1,200, which there were tons of options for, tons of options, and we can send you the link for after your contributions because you'd rather contribute to retirement than have a roof over your head. We can still get you to spending 31% of your income. 31%, which I will accept on rent to get a roof over your head.

I don't care what you feel. That's math. That's reality. That's the world you actually live in, regardless of what you feel. You're an engineer. You live in the world of science and reality. Numbers are important, are they not? Yeah, they are. So you're just choosing to be ignorant, which isn't ignorance then. You're just choosing to be oblivious. Yeah, I wouldn't call it ignorance. Yeah, because you know. I do know, yeah. Yeah.

You're obviously not a credit card person. I'd use a charge card more like Fizz. Helps build credit. But you have to pay it off. You're just not disciplined to be able to handle these unlimited amounts of money to spend without having to pay it off. You're just not. Okay, we have a line of credit. This must be your checking account. Credit union, yeah. That's a credit union. I had a... Late charges. We're late. You don't even spend money on rent anymore. Okay. Okay, you're choosing a movie theater over rent? Okay. Okay.

But now you're choosing a movie theater over literally just paying your f***ing minimums? I will come back to the word child again. Because that's what a child chooses. Going and watching Thanos kick someone's a** is not more important than paying your minimum fee payments. I'm seeing Deadpool this Sunday. I'm very excited. I can't wait. It's going to be a good time. I can afford it because I'm paying my payments. I want to actually go see Deadpool. Congratulations. Make your payment.

Yeah, that's my plan, actually, is to go see it later. Today? What? Yeah, later today, yeah. I was going to watch that movie. You don't give a shit. I do. No, you don't. Oh, don't do that. No, you don't. What a joke. No, you don't. You're willing to just go have these luxuries?

instead of literally pay a bill on time. You don't care. You wouldn't be going and doing it today if you cared after having a conversation with me. If it makes you, is that the reserve line of credit that's there? What were you going to say? I was going to say, I actually use that to cover not paying for the other credit card on that account sometimes. So if there's not enough funds on my account in that account,

credit union right the reserve gets pulled first because it's going to go negative so it's supposed to catch that yeah and then you're not even paying your reserve minimum payment yeah so that doesn't mean anything yeah yeah that makes me feel so much better and good job addressing the and laugh all you want but good job addressing the fact that you're going to go around and have a luxury instead of just literally taking the care of the minimum thing in your life you don't even have a response to it i i not really

What are we doing here, man? This is like the most disappointed I've been in a long time.

What are we doing?

that's why I'm disappointed. That's why I'm having a hard time bringing sympathy right now. Cause you're doing that with the ex-girlfriend thing. Yes. That was beyond your control. I'll feel sympathy about that. That was also a year and a half ago or whatever. So it's like, okay, that's not now right now you're choosing this. So new wifey is going to be coming over. She's going to be coming over to, uh, when she wants to cuddle in the living room, she's cuddling in your trunk. No, that's hilarious. No, that's not what I was planning. I was planning on like,

you know paying some of this down to be able to yeah afford by missing your payments for going to the movies to be able to afford to uh get a place for us i don't know what the normal minimum monthly payment is it's 55 now but there's a past due i think that just got added to the balance of course there's interest accruing it's 518.71 is owed now 500 credit limit so guess what if you have less money it's not gonna pull from this they're above your credit limit

Yeah. $55 minimum payment. Gosh, I just, I... When she was, when was the last time she was here? She was here July 10th is when she had to go back. So she just left. So how did you guys live together? Because it was before July. We hadn't, I had my old living situation.

And then the last month of July, I spent $600 on a hotel for a week right before she went back. $600 for a week of living. When we now know if you spend an additional $400, you get four weeks of living. What are we doing? Well, at the time, what I was doing is I was like, oh, a place to rent is...

a month and then the hotel was only like $73 a day so it's like the same price and I'm like I can deal with that how are you guys doing this wedding you're not going to try to have like a wedding wedding are you uh

Did you get her a ring? I got her a ring, yeah. Please tell me this was like a pop ring. No, it was $2,500. And it was while we were on vacation. Vacation? How are you? And I had to borrow $1,600 from my friend just to afford to go on that vacation. Oh! When? Back in March, maybe? June? Yeah, earlier this year.

I don't remember exactly when it was. Real talk, man. Legitimately real talk. Not even for the episode or not even for whatever. This can be on camera. This can be off camera. Whatever. I can decide. This is terrifying. I don't think you understand how bad this is. You are really walking yourself into the fiery pits of just death. You have no idea how bad this is. What you are doing right now.

And just borrowing every cent of your life to do. I don't know, man. This I don't think you realize how bad this is. This is one of the worst overall situations, even though we haven't looked at like payday loans or anything like that. This is one of the worst things I've ever seen. You cannot be doing this. You cannot be doing this.

To be fair, the money I borrowed from my friend was guaranteed to come back to me through my company. So you were just borrowing a future paycheck. You took out a payday loan. Kind of, yeah. It was different than a payday loan because it was more like an equipment. But it was more than what a month of the rent would have cost on what the site has. Dozens and dozens of options. Yeah. So I don't give a shit. What was the vacation to? It was to LA. All right, let's keep filming. I feel actually kind of like gross.

Like, you know when you just kind of feel like a little sick? Do you ever get that? When you maybe eat a meal that's a little too naughty, you just kind of feel, you just get a sense of sickness? Yeah. I feel that. Dude, this grosses me out. Why? Are you f***ing kidding me? You don't understand what you're doing to your life. The wedding ring, borrowing from your friend a future paycheck, not being able to live with someone because they use the kitchen...

I don't know. It's like you were hatched out of an egg or something, man. I don't know. Skincare can be a lot like finance. It's something we all need, but a lot of people have no clue where to get started. I've been trying to level up my skincare game and my toilet paper fund could barely handle all the different products I was buying. It was confusing and expensive, but then I found today's sponsor, Geology.

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the amazon's the last thing i need you to where could they even deliver for you i used to have a place i know then you chose not to get one and didn't use the extra money that you're saving on that to actually do any progress you owe 1415.70 the 47 dollar minimum fee payment oh wonderful wonderful oh we're making so many good choices in life we're making so many good choices you're purchasing an extra 117.43 cents

That was a gift for my mom. Oh, wonderful. Wonderful. Yeah, her son's homeless. I don't think you're getting a gift for her. For f*** sake. $33.50 of interest is accruing. Are you kidding me? Gift. Gift. Gift. Three different purchases. Just like you did the last card. Oh, I'm just going and getting my meal so I can eat. Movie theater and all the other s***. No. Here. Oh, I'm just getting a gift. Three different purchases.

US bank credit card. It's just that you do not give a sh**. That's what's pissing me off. That's why I'm really mad right now. I'm sad and disappointed for your life, but I'm pissed that you don't give a sh**. $3,482 owed on this one and 19 cents. I have not been this mad in a very long time. $133. Thank you for not purchasing anything. Oh, but you're a

Oh, okay. No, you're approaching your credit limit. It's probably because I don't use that card very much. So it's just, yeah, I don't think you're using any card. Sorry for interrupting you, but I don't think you're using any card. That's okay. Let's keep going. A visa through some credit. All this balance is insane. It's basically after credit. This is what have you done? What have you done? That's the card I, not only, but most of that balance is from my cats that I have since gotten rid of.

What? What? What $10,000 cat do you have? I had two cats and it was $600 every two weeks for the first six months. And then the one cat had to get eye surgery. What do you mean? For what? Their shots and stuff. I don't know. That's just... Wait, how many months? How many months? For the first six months of their... Every month for the first six months? Every two weeks for the first six months.

Jake, you have a thousand cats. Is that how it works? No, apparently that's insane. For dogs, it was like three rounds of shots when I got mine. What are you talking about? That's what I was... Why don't you adopt from a shelter that does the shots? And usually does free community shots as well. You couldn't afford this. That's so irresponsible and unfair to the cats. I've since gotten rid of them because I can't afford them. Great. Yeah, that's even more traumatic. Yeah, but I already paid for everything for them.

But I don't know. I really don't understand the every other week for six months thing. I have not heard of that. That's what the vet I took him to. Were they sick? Was this, were they getting shots for something specific, a disease? No, no, it was just generic shots. The only extra expense that I got from the cat was the $2,000. What did you get them from? Where'd you adopt them from? Oh, I adopted them from a rescue shelter. So they were already spayed and neutered, so I didn't have to pay for that at least. Really? The rescue center's out there? Oh,

Yeah, when I returned the cats to the shelter, the person who was in charge of the shelter was all like, I don't blame you for getting... Were they kittens? They were kittens. Yep. She's like, I don't blame you for giving them back because you were pretty much scammed by your vet, is what she told me. Oh, why didn't you start with that? Why didn't you start with that? Why didn't you... Okay.

So either way, $10,000. Is that math adding up even still? No, that's not all of it. That's probably about $6,000 to $7,000 of that was from the cats. Because the other one was a previous balance that was just on there. Get the rabies vaccination once, and then you get that, I think, every year. Oh, two. Oh, wait. No, no, no. Once. If they're an indoor cat. And then you get...

The initial vaccines, which are in four rounds. So what you just said does not add up in any way. It sounds like you needed five different rounds. Potentially, they're an outdoor cat, a couple extra, two extra doses of the FELV vaccine. Yeah, the feline immune virus vaccine, yeah. Which even still, I mean, that does not bring you to the 12 rounds that you did. Yeah, as the...

uh i understand that now because you know i i told the um the shelter when i gave it back to him that like i just can't afford them they're like there's no reason why you can't afford them like okay so you already did it then why didn't you keep them well obviously i'm glad you did yeah that's because i still don't know how this added up to ten thousand dollars it was literally only cats no no it's not only cats there was probably an existing balance of like four thousand dollars prior maybe three thousand dollars prior to that um why don't you have pet insurance

There's deductibles you can hit. I wasn't aware pet insurance was a thing at the time. There's insurance for everything. I'm sure there is. I just wasn't aware that it was a thing. Okay. UUW Credit Union. No. Here we owe $9,851.63 with a $197 minimum fee payment. Yeah, these minimum fee payments have a... No!

They're adding up. I do put more towards the minimum monthly. What I noticed is you put just a little more towards most of them, just a little more, but then you go and purchase and ruin them. But you didn't on this.

What is the purpose of putting just a little more on them across the board instead of focusing on one? Because when I look at it... I've seen that so many times on this show. So what I'm doing is I see that. And so they're like, okay, well, here's the minimum monthly. It's like $123. And then you go and they're like, now your percentage APR or whatever, now we're going to take $120 and add it to your balance. And now you're only paying $3 a month. I get that. But again...

This isn't a debt payoff strategy that really anyone recommends. It's either pay off the smallest balance while making the minimum monthly payments on everything else so that you start snowballing the debts and collect the minimum monthly payments that traditionally go towards them and put them towards the next step. That's called the snowball method. Or the avalanche method where you're attacking the highest interest rate debt while paying the minimum monthly payments on everything else. You attack one at a time. Those are both the debt payoff strategies that people recommend. No one recommends pay a little more across the board.

Because you're not making progress. You're not releasing yourself from the highest interest rate one quicker. You're not releasing yourself from the lowest balance one quicker to collect a minimum monthly payment there. You're not doing anything to make progress towards anything helpful for the overall payoff journey.

yeah i i realize mad at you for that but i do want to correct that behavior yeah i i realize that and that's kind of like um one of the reasons i kind of like reached out a bit because i realize that i don't know what i'm doing and i'm just making it worse yeah well yeah it's you if you purchase on your debts it makes it worse you're not a credit card person i want you to have credit so you can get an apartment and but i mean you have other loans i'd close your credit accounts you just can't be trusted to have access to credit you can't be you can't be

We need to improve your income situation as well. Not your income, but like the income versus the cost of living or your retirement thing. Gosh, if you could move. Okay, well, I don't know. That's not going to be. You never got your bachelor's degree. That's fine. I'm always able to gift you tax certifications through course careers, but for what you're looking to do, you know, I think that applies to most people, but maybe not you. Okay, we'll talk. We'll think. I'm trying to have a little brainstorm. That's at 18%.

Yeah, it's actually one of the lower ones. It's a little bit nicer. Okay, so we have a Hyundai. Yeah, that's another beast. Yeah, so it's another beast. Oh, the balance? Is that what you mean? No, the balance, it's the returning the car is going to be the problem.

because it's a lease, right? So I have to return it. I forgot we haven't had someone with a lease in forever. And so the problem I'm having right now is that the original lease was for 3,000, or sorry, 32,000 miles.

And it's currently sitting here across the term. I'm currently sitting at, what was the least length? Uh, 36 months. Okay. But I'm currently sitting at, uh, 38,000 and there's like a much longer soft, uh, October this month or this year. Sorry. October this year. Okay. What's your cost per mile? Yeah. See, the problem is that it's like $1,500 per thousand miles or I think it's either four per thousand or per 3000 miles.

How many miles over are you? I'm currently 6,000 miles over. So it's at least... Wait, how many miles did you say your assets you used? It's 38,000. And how many miles were you allowed to? 32,000. Oh, yeah. Okay. So you think about 1,500 bucks? Or 3,000, depending on how the... How much more you use from now to that? Yeah. Oh, man.

Leases are... And what are you going to do about your car situation, which is your living situation in October? So the two options I was thinking about doing was extending the lease for a little bit longer, which would basically just force me to pay essentially what it would be like $8,000 a month. Would it value at the current value or at the perceived value at the beginning of the lease where it said the value would be at the end? Oh.

I'm unsure how extending leases work. Would it be an extension or would you be redoing a lease? Yeah, I don't know. The other option is to buy the car for $26,000. So that's what they valued it being at the beginning at the end of your lease. Now, that's what I'm wondering if they calculate the new lease off of that or if they reassess the price.

Yeah. And then so the option is to buy it at that break. So you're getting kicked out of your house again. Yeah. Yeah. That's all right. No, it's not. But the yeah. And then hoping that the hope is that the dealership will buy it back for a reasonable amount that is less than what I would end up owing after returning the car. If I do end up buying it or hoping that they can extend it. Yeah. I'm curious what the private market value is.

Okay, they're going to do it. What's the condition of the car? It's used because... What's the condition of the car? So it's pretty good. There's some scratches on the inside. Yeah, because the tools and stuff I just carry for work inside of it. 38,000. How many miles do you think you're going to put on it? It doesn't matter. Okay, we're going to figure that out. I'm curious.

Yeah, you might have to redo it, but this is $521 a month. I mean, add these all together. These are what's f***ing you. Why do you feel like you can't afford rent? $521 a month, $197 a month, $133 a month, $47 a month, $55 a month, $123 a month. No s***, you feel like you can't afford rent. You put everything in your life on debt, and now you owe the minimum monthly payments of it.

And you're going to owe $1,500 to $3,000 for the extra miles. Yeah. This just keeps going, man. This is just like a rabbit hole of debt, I swear. Yeah. Okay. Your car situation, man. And you might have to look out of that area specifically because sometimes areas like that can be a little more competitive driving some used car prices up. But we might be looking for a $10,000 car. Yeah. Bite the bullet and pay that extra thing, but get rid of the $25,000 because financing that would be rough. Yeah.

Because obviously you can't pay for it in cash or leasing it again. But again, I don't know what their value in the car at. I don't want us to get in a rough situation. And with that, who even knows what their added fees and everything into the lease for you. The other bad thing about that car is the insurance cost is like $180 a month. It's not the worst. It's not the worst, but it's high. My old car was only 76 bucks. Okay. You might get lucky with the...

That's trading. Can you give me private? $124. Hmm. It's about what it is. Well, in terms of value, it wouldn't be the worst purchase or lease to do if you get it at that. I'm just afraid that your lease will continue to be a monthly payment that you can't afford or your car loan is going to be so bad that the interest rate is going to be in like the 15, 20, 25% range and you'll extend it to like eight years to try to make it affordable and it would just get so bad. I don't know.

If I get a car loan, I'm hoping that the UW Credit Union would give me one again. What's your credit score? It's 625. Good luck right now, man. I mean, you'll get a car loan. Yeah, probably from Allied Bank, which is ridiculous. You're going to get a predatory car loan. Yeah. My first car loan I got was a 27% car loan.

And I basically paid for that for two and a half years and it never went down because of the interest rate. It never went down. And so I ended up going to UW Credit Union and they ended up giving me a 3.99 and then paid off that car. Wait, sorry. We have a little bit of confusion. Did you say 1.5 thousand to 3 thousand per thousand miles over? Or total? I think it's...

I think it's every 3,000 miles, it's $1,500. Okay. Because I don't remember. It depends on what the contract says. I wasn't sure if it's 3,000 or 4,000 miles. It's an additional cost. Gotcha. Okay. The Apple, it's another huge bounce with a huge minimum repayment. Yeah. That one, the APR is killing me. $5,793.57. The minimum repayment of $191.00.

This feels like one of the most insane episodes to me, but I swear. I can't tell people that it's going to be one of the most insane episodes because this is like, I say that. I've said it so many times and it always ends up being true. And I'm just like, what is happening? How does this keep happening? What is life right now? And I'm sorry for you that you... I am sorry that you're going through it.

So many of it is your own choices, and that part I have less sympathy for. But I am sorry that you are going through it. Minimum monthly payment, $191, and the interest occurring at 27.24% interest rate is $132 a month. Kill me, okay? Yeah, that one's really killing me, too. Yeah, so $3,000 is what you're going to have to owe to them in October. That's interesting. So, interesting. They'll come hunt you down. They'll take that vehicle.

If you don't, you turn it. You might send that extra to collections or something. You don't pay it. How were you planning on paying for it? I was hoping to get a car loan, but just probably a predatory car loan. And I was hoping that you're going to roll that extra 3000 into it. Or I guess if you buy out the lease, you might not, you wouldn't have to potentially. Yeah. I think I was a little over on mine as well, but I paid out. I had a lease on my Jeep. Um, when I very first moved to Austin, it wasn't, it was like the last bad choice I've ever made with finances. Thank goodness. Um,

But I bought out the lease almost immediately, so it didn't matter. Yeah, if I buy out the lease and then just resell the car, it should get me back to where... No offense, but in... Why do I keep saying that? I don't care if you're offended. I just want to give it straight at all times. There's no point of stepping around. You live in Silicon Valley. You live in that whole Bay Area. I know for a fact that you could live in a place, pay this $3,000, call it good, and bust.

Bus everywhere around the valley. Oh, yeah. Get rid of the car. The public transportation in the valley exists for sure. Some of the problems are is that it's kind of expensive and it takes a long time. Not expensive considering it's a car, of course. Cool, then I don't give a shit. But it takes a very long time to get anywhere. You don't have money. You're literally homeless. I don't care. You're literally homeless.

$104 in your checking account. Yeah. That was after I purchased the room for... Yeah, that's so f***ing stupid. That's also because... Buddy, this is insane. Oh my f***, what are we doing? Yeah. PayPal in at $135.

fork uh able amazon purchase yeah go inside a gas station get into bullshit some chocolate uber trip you have a you pay an infinite amount of money for it fucking pay for it going to a restaurant paying for spotify ads you can't afford to put a roof over you had listen to ads carbo coffee you're not getting coffee starbucks maybe a restaurant right there an apple bill home eat ride to

PayPal and Mountain something in that area. I don't know. It's so hard. Why are these cut off? $48. Venmoing out. Oh, that was 600. That was the repayment. Yeah, I was paying my friend back. Apple bill. Why do you have so many in-app things? Yeah. This is insane. For someone who cannot afford to pay their minimum on one of those debts. Yeah, they're just phone games. Gross!

that play the game of life where you exist and make progress apple bill apple bill in-app purchases ding ding ding cinemark we're spending more on movies starbucks amazon forkable taco bell forkable teaspoon kfc outdoor supply expedia fuck you expedia buddy no that's not a choice you're not flying you're not traveling right now apple bill taco bell

Zelle instant? You're instant transferring? Oh, you have to pay extra for that, don't you? It's like five bucks. Yeah, you don't have money. Overdraft fee, overdraft fee, overdraft fee. And Zelle instant. And then this AW credit. Qualifying services, $10. The fee. Fee there. $100 in overdrafts.

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If you'd rather go to the movies and play in-app games, like what the f*** do I do? I am not your solution. I can call you out. I can let you see what your situation is. I can put together a budget. And you're going to go through the budgeting program just like anyone else who's on this show, which is really exciting. You can go through that, go through the investing program. It's all bundled at a lower price right now. But it's like, what can I do? Always gets messy when the papers go flying.

Okay.

I want to help. What can we do? Do you have any other minimum monthly payments that we do not see? I don't have any other minimum monthly payments, but I do have a failing-ish business for shirts and t-shirts design. I give about $300 a month to five part-time workers in India. Yeah.

For what possibly? What are they doing? It's for expenses for Shopify. Who's buying your clothing? Right now we only had three purchases.

That's why we have to spend money on advertising. This is premium t-shirt designs, ladies and gentlemen. Our new Dirty Money V2. You like that? Plug, look at that. Look how you set me up for that. Who knew that was coming? F*** me. That's crazy. $300 a month? For what? What are these designs? What do they look like? They're like... Some of them are anime designs. Some of them are... Do you own the rights to those anime designs? No.

Oh my death. What are we doing? Stop this. Stop it. Stop it. Done. Cancel. End it. Burn it. This isn't a thing. Not right now. Yeah, it's not even your own. Dude. Like before you get sued, just stop. You can't afford this. You're losing $300 a month and you sold only a couple of things for. No, no, no. Okay. Okay.

can make money in the future you're not you don't buddy you're homeless right now you have no money you are missing your minimum payments you are overdrafting on checking accounts you can't do anything you had to put yourself up in a hotel when your future wife was here because you don't know how to not live in the backseat of your car i don't give a shit

If this makes future money, that's great. You do that when you're out of debt, you have a fully funded emergency fund, you're contributing enough to your retirement, and you're able to live within a 50-30-20. You are not doing this! You sold three designs and they're not your designs! You're gonna get sued! So I don't give a sh**! It might make money, but guess what? They're gonna take it, all the people who own the designs! Fair? Oh my f***. Oh my f***. And now my producer is telling me... Oh my f***. That you're... Oh, the amount of money you're about to spend...

on a china trip soon oh yeah all right you know what i think we're gonna save that for the post show because i honestly cannot take any more in this moment and that's not even a part of your bills but yeah he knows more information than he's gonna bring in i i want to look at your finances now we'll talk about that in the post show i'm gonna create a budget for you but i have this is the least amount of hope i've had in a long time maybe i look like a piece of that that's fine i'm like i'm destroyed right now

I don't know, just the way you're living and your lack of care. And I don't see anything happening. So, wow. Okay. Housing is nothing. I don't know. For your food budget, it's hard for me to tell because you're in like a weird food situation. We'll give you a little more because of your thing. But try to have a cooler the best you can. $400. TP fund, I'm going to give you a little extra $200 because you're going to have to go into places and to take care of yourself and all this stuff.

Are there ongoing co-pays, medical expenses, anything? Oh my gosh. I completely forgot. Oh my gosh. I'm going to die. Yeah. So I got into a motorcycle accident back in October. Had two surgeries. Oh my gosh.

Okay. You okay? Oh, yeah. I'm mostly fine. I had to get a metal plate removed later, but mostly overall okay. However, just this last week, I received the first bill from the ambulance ride. Only $580, but it is $580. I have not received the bill for the surgery yet.

Nor have I received the co-pays for my insurance, which is a $4,000 maximum, if I recall correctly. How much was the ambulance again? That was $586. Okay. I think we will be able to pay for the ambulance by you getting off the f***ing ambulance and living with a roommate and getting rid of your car and taking the bus. We can do it.

We can do it. How'd you get in a car crash? Oh, I was just riding my motorcycle and there was... I basically just crashed it myself, I guess, is the best way I can say it. Because it just happened that I ended up just losing control of the motorcycle and crashing it. So do you have copays and shit coming up on going?

uh i'm going to but that's it the good thing is is that it is only four thousand dollars it could be worse it could be 16 i'm just trying to figure out your monthly budget right now i know okay subscriptions no not even close not for a second savings i wouldn't i'd only take your match if even jim no how are you showering uh there's actually a shower in my workplace that is attached to my um what's your phone bill uh free right now

Buddy, you have no excuses to be missing these payments. This isn't even a budget. This isn't even a budget, man. This isn't even a budget. You have no payments outside of... I'm gonna figure out your minimum monthly payments. I'm gonna tell you what that is. But you have enough money. It's a joke. It's because you're spending everything around. Choosing luxuries. Not even gonna... It's nothing to make a budget for. $1,267 a month plus your $170 or whatever and your car insurance. Include that all against everything. I mean...

You have an extra $1,500 left over right now. Start just tackling the debt. You could take care of the UW credit. You could take care of the ambulance. And you could start putting money towards the...

Amazon card or we're stockpiling until we get $3,000 so we can pay off that lease and then take the bus. Buddy, there's so many options here. It's literally just being a child. So I'm going to use this. I'm going to use this as an option, as a opportunity to, I want this to be a wake up call more than anything. You're really just acting like a child. You have plenty of money left over because of your current situation. You're just choosing not to because you put in luxuries and things over it and you're just, you're being dumb with your money.

And then you want to go to China and all this stuff. Okay, whatever. I don't know. I want this to be a wake-up call. This is not like a budget I can make for you. I mean, you have an extra $1,500. Stockpile that so you can pay off your lease. Take the bus and then tackle everything from minimum... And then you'll have like $1,000 left over because you'll have a little bit more in rent, but you won't have a car payment or car insurance. So you have $1,000 left over. Okay, pay off your debt small to large. Just pay them off. You could be done with these debts and...

Couple years. You can be done with these debts in a couple years. Save up for a fully funded emergency fund. It's called conservatively three years. Okay. Who cares? You're 32. Then you're contributing a decent amount to your retirement. You no longer have a thousand hours in debt dumb payments. So you can actually live for afford to live in a better place. And at that point, your wife will be here. You guys can afford to live together. You have a golden opportunity. It's literally that you're just choosing to. So.

I don't know what else to say. And a lot of what you said towards the beginning really upset me, and I'm really upset. So we're just going to go into the post-show, and hopefully my producers are going to come and enlighten the mood because I want to die. Hammer financial score of... I can't even think of anything joyful or funny to make. Obviously, it's going to be a 0 out of 10. Make sure to check out all resources linked in the description. Actually, you probably have retirement. We just don't know what it is. That would bring your score up.

But you don't even know what it is because you don't know how to check. So hammer financial score for you. Everyone stick around for the post so you can join the membership in the link in the description below. We have a lot of extra fun things there. Fun unlike this. And you can also check out all the resources linked in the description below. They're what a user would use in specific situations, including the best budgeting program and best investing program. Histories of the Internet all put together for a low price.

Post show. Today on the Financial Audit Post Show. I have so much more fun gooning in your own house than your car. Caleb sometimes doesn't even come into work because he's busy gooning at home because he loves his place so much. And then when I do get out, I continue the goon session. The car and the office. What do you think has been happening this entire recording? We can't talk to Caleb before 1 p.m. because he says, this is my goon time. And then he locks the door. Right.

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