Weather Woodies and Rain Curtains
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Listener, for this episode of I've Had It, we've partnered with eHarmony, the dating app to find someone you can be yourself with. Pops, what's going on out there on the dating apps? It's unbelievable how many people try to be something they're not on dating apps and

And what I love about eHarmony is it's real people for real relationships. You heard her, listener. That's why we've partnered with eHarmony because dating on eHarmony is different. eHarmony knows that to find something real, eHarmony is designed to help you bring out your personality on your profile with their unique personality test. They

They even highlight similarities with your potential matches. And that's when the magic happens. When you form genuine connections and authenticity leads to intimacy. Listener, give eHarmony a shot and get started with their compatibility quiz so you can find someone you can be yourself with. eHarmony, get who gets you.

It's time to get the world talking about black-led brands. We all have our favorites, our ride or dies, and the ones we can count on to help us live out our best lives. But we can't keep them all to ourselves, so if you're feeling like black opal beauty, tell somebody. If the lip bar gives you a lip for every drip, let them know. And if your hair is doing the do, shout that out too. Because one shout out leads to another and almost half of black-led brands are discovered by word of mouth.

Join Walmart in shouting out your favorite black-led products, creating a new world of choices at walmart.com forward slash black and unlimited. Clap. One, two, three. That wasn't my best effort. Hold on. Okay, do it again. Okay. One, two, three. That was good. That was better. That was good. Why don't you start us off? Hi, I'm Engie, a.k.a. Pumps. I'm here with my friend, Jay Welch. Jennifer. What's the name of our podcast? I've had it podcasted.

And to start us off today- Hang on, I got to stop you right there. You did it all out of order. First, we talk about what we've had it with, the small ones. Then we do the introduction. Well, then since you have a rule on how it goes, why don't you be the starter? Okay. Start clap.

Oh, my God. That just reminded me of a huge. I've had it. Oh, I cannot wait. One, two, three. All right. Tell me what you've had it with. I'll tell you what I've had it with. Okay. This is a true story. Okay. We go to a march, a rally before voting and we march down to the Capitol. Okay.

So Jennifer is the chant leader. I'm the person that has the microphone, like the walkie talkie. So she'd be like, okay, tell them we're doing chant to it. I'm like, okay, I get ready to do the walkie talkie. She is in my boob, has grabbed the walkie talkie and is talking to it, into it.

This doesn't happen once. This happens every single time. Every single time. And I wanted just to throw it at you and go, you fucking do it. I am the worst. I'm guilty as charged. I thought you were going to start breastfeeding any moment. I mean, you were right there. It was attached to my jacket sitting on one of the dragons. According to my, what was that episode at my horoscope? Yes. You're probably somewhat controlling. Yeah.

And I thought they're not going to hear. She's not doing it right. So I did. I'm the loudest person in 15 counties. You think they couldn't hear me? You just want to be the sheriff all the time. It's true. Even volunteer work, you need to be a sheriff. It's bad. God, it's bad, isn't it? You know what? I don't think I can change. Oh, God, no. We're too old to change. Yeah. No. I know. It's really bad. It's a huge character defect.

Well, but I mean, on the opposite side, you are the sheriff. I mean, nobody gets more shit done and gets more people laid out and how it's supposed to roll than you. So I would rather you be breastfeeding slash calling the chance in a parade rather than not keeping all the other balls in the air. That was a really good, I've had it. And I just remembered it. Well, let me tell you what I've had it with. Lay it on me.

Hulu and HBO. Okay. And I'll tell you why. Okay. Nobody wants to watch one episode of Handmaid's Tale at a time like a civilized, normal person that moderates their life. We're

way past that. Netflix has taught us that we can take a show and inject it straight into our veins, episode after episode, season after season. Then Hulu trots out Handmaid's Tale, which is fantastic. Love it. Love it. And then they torture you with the slow drip. Same with HBO and Succession or The White Lotus. I

I it's not enough of a hit for me and I'm not civilized nor patient enough, nor do I moderate myself enough with television to want to watch one episode a week like a normal person. Yeah, I think I think House of Cards was the first one that you got to binge like that was the beginning. And so that was like.

15 years ago. So to take us from we can watch the whole thing in one weekend to spreading it out over 10 weeks, it feels like cruel and unusual punishment. It really does. So I want to say this. Hulu and HBO, we have fucking had

had it. Because we're paying no matter what. We have to pay in. We have the streaming device. We're customers. So why not just give us what we want? You could pop out more TV. Surely there's an economic reason that they could even crank out more. I think they're trying to keep you interested. Like back in the day when you had to watch it. We're past that. No, I'm saying we've evolved way past that. We're way past that. I agree. But you know what I did with I Just Wait Now?

and tell the whole things out. And then I just watch it. I try. I try to do that. But I am such a successful television watcher. You have such elite, elite skills. I have such elite skills that sometimes I finish

Right. Netflix or I finish Hulu. And so then I am forced to watch them as they are presented to me, which obviously I'm very butthurt about. Jen and Neely, do y'all agree that this is where as a society we're way past. We're devolving in this area of society instead of evolving. Social media, even if you want to wait. Right. So everything. But everyone's posting about it. So you don't want to miss out or get spoilers. Right.

So you have to watch when it comes out. Yeah, it's a total, yeah. I haven't noticed that, but I'm on. Total spoiler alert situation. Yes. If you wait. Even like CNN or Variety, they'll post about it and that annoys me so much. Oh, you know what we do now?

I would like to welcome everybody to our podcast. The name of it is I've Had It. And I am one of the co-hosts. My name is Jennifer. And my other co-host, what's your name, my dear? Angie. Angie, we call her Pumps. And we have Jen, Morton, Nellie, and Richard who chime in. They've had it with a variety of things. But I'll tell you one thing that Pumps and I are from Oklahoma City. Jen and Nellie are, Nellie's from New York. Jen's from California, but they both live in L.A.

And so they have that, you know, fuck you, first of all, for living in California and having the ocean, mountains, and 75 degree weather all the time. I mean, that is like, that's why people live there. It's showing off. Yeah. So we in the Great Plains get weather systems a lot. So we have this phrase called being weather aware. And we have to be aware, especially in the spring, because tornadoes can come.

And so that's fine. You know, you're weather aware. You have a smartphone that can talk to you and do lots of things. But there's a whole dark side to this. And it is the meteorologists.

Yes. They want a grandstand. They'll see a weather pattern. They'll get on their raging hard-ons. They're so excited to talk about it, to tell you. And guess what happens? Fucking nothing. Fucking nothing. Nothing. I remember a few years ago, the weathermen are like, listen up, Oklahoma City. We are going to get 30 inches of snow. Get ready. You're going to be hunkering down. The roads are not going to be drivable. Schools will be closed. Offices will be closed. And

While they're making this prediction, there's not a cloud in the sky. Right. This is like it's incoming like 72 hours, two to three days from now. They cancel school. So everybody goes and panic buys. Right. All the grocery stores are completely cleaned out. COVID style. I can't find toilet paper. Any of all the good shit's gone. Right. They cancel schools. They cancel work. Kids are so excited. Right.

Moms are furious because they have to stay home with the kids. Nothing worse than a snow day. Wake up that morning that it's the worst. The snow days are the worst. The worst. You're in kid jail. But anyway, I woke up that morning.

look out the window. And much to my surprise, there was not one goddamn snowflake. Right. And so all the schools are canceled. You're completely dicked over. The kids are at home. You're having to watch kid shows. You're having to cook. You're not at work. I mean, it's, it's the worst. So basically there's a lot of

lying liars. The thing about it is, which infuriates me, if I was as terrible at my job as they are at their job, I would be fired. Everything they say is not true. And yet we still listen. Like people still like, oh my gosh, did you go to the grocery store? Did you have to get in your shelter? Blah, blah, blah. When I first came out to Oklahoma and met you guys in 2016. Yeah, it was May. I remember. And

There was a big tornado in the first couple of days. I called Jay Welch and I was like, what are we going to do? She's like, don't be scared of the tornadoes. The best part is you need to come over here. We're going to watch the meteorologist. She goes, it's their Super Bowl. They love it. Best day of their lives. Remember you were scared though because this tornado sirens, you were like, oh my gosh, the tornado sirens. Like, oh, we ignore those. Was that your first time?

Yes. I was scared. We're not scared at all. If you have, if you're born and raised in Oklahoma and it's like tornadoes,

I'm sorry. I didn't know. That's my bad. I think we need to get into the storm chaser at some point. What the fuck is wrong with those people? Okay. I do have one kind of funny story. Okay. Let's hear it. When your school, they never shut down for snow days. When my kids were little, I remember specifically getting on to see if school was canceled and then taking so much joy in the fact that

that you got to take your kids to school. Okay. So today we have a really fun guest, Matt and Jake, the hosts of Reality Gaze. Love. And Matt is actually an Ardmore, Oklahoma native. Really? And apparently-

He is always trying to tell his co-hosts about all the shit going down in Oklahoma with the weather and he doesn't believe it. So let's have them on. Yes. To talk about this fuckery going on with meteorologists.

Listener, for this episode of I've Had It, we've partnered with eHarmony, the dating app to find someone you can be yourself with. Pops, what's going on out there on the dating apps? It's unbelievable how many people try to be something they're not on dating apps.

And what I love about eHarmony is it's real people for real relationships. You heard her, listener. That's why we've partnered with eHarmony because dating on eHarmony is different. eHarmony knows that to find something real, eHarmony is designed to help you bring out your personality on your profile with their unique personality test. They

They even highlight similarities with your potential matches. And that's when the magic happens. When you form genuine connections and authenticity leads to intimacy. Listener, give eHarmony a shot and get started with their compatibility quiz so you can find someone you can be yourself with. eHarmony, get who gets you.

It's time to get the world talking about black-led brands. We all have our favorites, our ride or dies, and the ones we can count on to help us live out our best lives. But we can't keep them all to ourselves, so if you're feeling like black opal beauty, tell somebody. If the lip bar gives you a lip for every drip, let them know. And if your hair is doing the do, shout that out too. Because one shout out leads to another and almost half of black-led brands are discovered by word of mouth.

Join Walmart in shouting out your favorite black-led products, creating a new world of choices at Walmart.com forward slash black and unlimited. Hello. Hi, y'all. Hi. I love y'all. You know what? I've been trying to be good, but fuck it. It's an Oklahoma show. I'm having a Dr. Pepper. Good for you. Do it. I'm going to do it.

Why not? I've never forget. I was in a waiting room with my kid one time and somebody was pouring Dr. Pepper into their baby's bottle. And I just thought only in Oklahoma are we serving Dr. Pepper in our baby bottles. That's some Lone Grove, Oklahoma shit that I saw. Is that where you're from? Lone Grove?

Originally Lone Grove. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Grew up there on Lone Grove. And then Jake and I met at North Texas. Hi, guys. Hi, Jake. So like the Mean Green Eagles? Yeah.

Yes. Texas Mean Green. That's where we went to school. You guys like have your own talk show set up. I love that. We're not fucking around. We're the real deal, Jake. Like you're in like nice chairs. Like I expect Oprah to have something underneath the chairs. There is zero fucking around with I've had it podcast. That's right. One day when I can afford it, Jennifer is going to redo my podcast.

California house. I just have to get that house first. I just need to buy that house. It's only a couple million. I have pumpers as this

I quote you all the time because people say, that's so funny. I said, I didn't say it's pumps. I say 2022 has been a lazy Susan of shit sandwiches. And I just keep eating them. Yeah. I mean, isn't that the truth? Sometimes you just feel like you cannot get off the lazy Susan at all. That was college. I thought college was fun. No, I was talking about lying on my lazy Susan. Just being thrown around.

So, Matt, you're from Oklahoma originally. Went to Ardmore. I did live in Oklahoma City for about a year. I started my grad school at OCU. I lived in the El Paseo. I'm from South Carolina originally. But I went to school in Texas.

And I've lived in a town called Pickens or Greenville. It's a if you know, you know, South Carolina geography at all. It looks like a piece of pie. I'm from the the tip of the pie where it's basically inbreeding and moonshine. So let me ask you this.

Are you low country or high country? I am high country. Okay. But low country food is so much better than high country food. So what we were talking about before we had you guys on is something that we've absolutely had it with, our meteorologists. 100%. They are lying liars. They are complete lying liars. They get everybody into hysterics. Everybody's out panic buying. Yeah.

you know, going fucking crazy stockpiling shit and then quarantining all up. You've got your, they've canceled school. And if you're a parent, it's fucking miserable. School is the only thing that is a bridge to sanity as a mother is taking that child and dropping it off at school. So it's a total dick over. And then you wake up in the morning and guess what? There's no fucking snow. How did they get away with this?

They should be prosecuted. I agree. There's no oversight. There's no oversight. Gone are the days of Gary England. That you can actually trust. If you live in Oklahoma, the meteorologists are like big time local celebrities. They are. They're gods. And we have major weather systems. We have major weather. So Gary England was this calm city.

stable voice that you grew up with your whole life and he didn't go bananas he didn't go hysterical he didn't have the weather woody when he was talking about tornadoes because these guys have erections big time right they're way too excited about a tornado right yes gonna be huge damage it's gonna level entire towns gary england had big dick weather energy he was calm about it

You are 100% right. Big Dick weather energy. Big Dick weather. Whereas, but I have to say, Jake and I have talked about on our podcast, I guess, are they still scientists in Oklahoma? Because I haven't lived there in 19 years. Are they still scientists? Because in California. We have weathermen. It's weathermen. Dallas rains. Dallas rains. They say that's his real name. That is an actual person's name. That is a poor name. He is extremely tan. Oh, he's a broken? Yeah.

When you do weather here, nothing really changes that much. So it is overcast today and people are expecting the end of the world. No one knows what's going on. We were supposed to meet someone later for dinner and I said, I can't, it's overcast.

I'm telling you, it's either Dallas Reigns or it's women who were models with just oversized huge jugs that have no hooters that they've never, never taken a science class. So,

Are they still scientists in Oklahoma? I think they are. Yeah, I think they are meteorologists. Because they roll out big words. Like when tornadoes are happening, it's like there is the rain curtains and the vortex. What are all the words they use? That all sounds believable and real. I just ignore them. So I have no help on that. No, they trot out. And I mean, they're full blown. And you can tell they get excited because it's like they studied all this stuff. And then it's coming to fruition. And it's...

there is like this sociopathic excitement that they have. It's like, it's a narcissist. Trailer homes are getting leveled and they're like, look at that folks. That's a mile wide. South Carolina weathermen are like that because we have tornadoes. Uh, and in the summertime or like late summer, it'll be like, folks, we've got an all out, uh, barrage going down on Walhalla. It's there. It is going to wipe out most of the County. Um,

We have satellites all over the planet right now. I can get on Google Earth and basically zoom in on Pumps' nipple. And let me tell you, she has some high quality nipples because one of her hidden talents is she can balance a wire hanger on her nipple. It used to be a wood hanger, but with age... With age, she's had to demotivate to wire. A wire hanger. I digress. You know, I'm gay, so it wouldn't matter. I kind of want to see that.

You know what? I'll show her off the camera. I'm totally fine. Everybody who's ever had more than two drinks with me in this entire county has seen that trick. Yeah. She'll try to tit out. I mean, it's almost clinical. It's not sexual. Right. Like if the party's like winding down, we got to. Like shaking hands. Yeah. It's like, do you guys want to see the nipple trick? Okay, here it is. I've seen Jake get naked at three different parties. I used to do that at parties. I'm ready to throw it out.

Anytime. Usually it's parties that a lot of people aren't getting naked at. I choose to do it. So how did you all meet in college? I'm dying to know this. We got hired to teach at the same fine arts camp in the Berkshires in Massachusetts. And Jake was a grad student at the time and I was an undergrad. So even those programs don't even mix a lot. Even though I'm 18 months older than you. Do you always make it sound like I'm...

I'm 30 years older than you. Jake, I totally get that. Jennifer acts like... I'm much younger than you. I'm much younger than you. I'm like four years is not that much. Think about all the things you had accomplished it for when I was just a little baby. Just a little... This is what she said. So I call her trying to be nice, a good friend. I'm like, hey, go get your COVID booster at the drugstore. They have them in, blah, blah, blah. She goes...

Oh, I'm too young for the COVID booster. I'm too. I was just like, you're such a- That's for seniors. You had to be 50 to get the COVID booster. And spoiler alert, I'm still two years shy of that. She's-

uh, paving the way for you. Well, like I'll know all the tricks in the nursing home before she gets there. We're like, go out to the bars. We drove like 45 minutes to this bar in Western Massachusetts called the red door. And I mean, no club bread, a club. The red door is a perfume. You marry. That's true. Uh,

Jesus. We went out to Club Red, which it is not Angles. This is not a nice gay bar, okay? This is not like a dance. That's what the gay bar in Oklahoma City is. Angles is a bar in Oklahoma City. We love it. Fantastic. So fun. They all have names like that. Angles, Attitudes. The Rec Room. Jake, did you know the 80s shows Dallas Iconic?

Oh, well, this is Dallas. There was I knew Dallas J.R.'s and then was the big gay bar. And then across the street, Sue Ellen's, which I thought. Oh, yeah. J.R.'s. I went to J.R.'s a lot. You could stand in circles and talk to gay men you had no chance with. But it's funny you bring that up, Jen, because.

Poodle called me after a night of going out to JR's because that was our stop around. This is a real story. It's a real story. My friend and I who lived in L.A. for a while said we lived there for like a year and we're like, you need to come to L.A. And he's like, no, no, no. I'm doing I'm in school here. I'm finishing my doctorate. Like I'm a serious academic person. I can't leave. And I went, OK, fine. And so he called me and he said, this is the morning after. And I said, you sound rough. He's like, yeah, I got a little drunk last night. He said, well,

I looked around the club and I was talking about seven different people and I realized I'd fucked all of them. It's time to move. Well, not all of them, but all of them, at least by proxy. Like, in other words, I'd slept with like three people who I was talking to, but those three people had slept with the other three more than once. And I said, I think it's time to go on to greener pastures. So that was...

you're an academic scholar devoted to your studies and the most unacademic decision ever leads you to LA. Yeah. What was your doctorate in? Yeah.

I did three years of coursework in musicology. When I was doing my career and doing my academic degree, I was like, this is, I don't think I want to be teaching school, like in colleges my whole life. Do either of y'all teach? Do you teach at a law school or do you teach interior design, Jen? No, but I would rather paint.

the interior walls of my house with a Q-tip, two coats, then teach a fucking class. I don't like stupid questions and classrooms are wrought with stupid questions. I would be a terrible teacher. I don't have the patience. If I told somebody how to do something once and they came and asked me how to do it again, I don't think I would be

Your empathy might be a little small. Yeah. It might be just a touch off. You'd be out the first day, Jen. Uh,

Because someone would ask you the same thing four times in the first 10 minutes of class. How many fucking times do I have to tell you this? Are you sure that you're qualified to even to advance this far in school? This far. I just want to say that I agree with you on that. And something definitely, I wasn't planning on talking, but you triggered me. I have had it with people wasting my time. And the worst, the worst thing

If you can't do something, you can't show up, whatever. Just tell me. Don't waste my fucking time. But the worst waste of time for me is when you're in a class and someone everybody's ready to go. The lecture is done and someone raises their hand and they ask a question that's only the most specific question for their own fucking life and has no

Nothing to do with anyone else. It drives me insane. Oh my gosh, we're in a simulation right now because we just had this conversation last night. Like, do not be the person that asks the question specific to you when everybody's done trying to get out of there. My son, my oldest son was going to New York on a class field trip. Okay. And the parent, the teachers were taking the students. The parents couldn't go.

So I have to go to this fucking parent meeting, right? Which is, I mean, it is fingernails on a chalkboard for me to sit down with all the power moms. So we go through the circle jerk of all the stuff and all the rules and regulations. Exactly. And then we're at the tail end of it. And then here comes the hand. She raises it up. And here's the question she asks. She said, you know...

do y'all have a backup plan in case there is a nine 11 style terror attack while the kids are in New York? And I audibly said, for fuck's sake, because I'm thinking, don't send your fucking kid to New York. If you're that worried about it, then yeah, your kid doesn't go to New York. I would, I would have, this was, I was teaching in college. I was a grad student and parents, uh,

of my students, the college students would call me and

And if I was, if I was either, if I gave them a sort of like a gray, they're like, well, you don't understand. Jenny's really, she's been having a rough, rough semester. And so she hasn't really been there a lot. And I never returned any of them. Jenny's hung over on the bar. I know. Doing jello shots for babes. That's what her problem is. That's what she's doing. Yeah. Jenny hasn't shown up for class in four weeks.

Last time I saw her, she was getting dragged out of some club. So you need to worry about your daughter, not her grades. I had a woman email me and she totally is like, I just, I wanted to pitch my daughter to be an intern for Jennifer Welch Design. She's really interested in interior design. The mother sent this? The mother emailed me. And I responded,

I only hire interns that send their own resumes to me and are at least a junior or senior in college majoring in interior design.

Thank you so much for the information signed Jennifer, because I'm just like immediately not going to hire your daughter because I'm not going to have your ass up here running around. And why the fuck isn't she emailing? Right. If she loves it, let me ask you all a question. Huge red flag. Let me, speaking of red flags, I want to ask y'all a question. So pumps has a son that's 22 years old and in college. And we go to dinner one night and she is like,

angry texting somebody and then she takes a phone call and I go that had to have been one of your kids what's going on she goes oh Sam's mad at me about something that I said in the mom group me and I was like pump the brakes pump the fucking brakes she has browbeat me so hard you're in a mom group me for a 22 year old

Who are these people and who are these monsters that they are raising? Because, and so I talked to Sam about it and he's like, please get my mom out of that. I don't, thank you, Jenny. I'm an adult. I don't need my mom into, what do y'all think about that? Well, Pumps, I want to know why are you in there? Why are you in there?

Okay. What keeps you there? Well, okay. I'll tell you exactly what keeps me there. Like Sam is the worst at saying, okay, like parents weekend is this. We go to Follies. You got to buy tickets. Like there's no information communicated whatsoever. And the moms always know like what time, what t-shirt we're supposed to buy, where we're supposed to meet. Now I understand that he's too old for that. I do. And he doesn't communicate. He's not really in...

Probably he just doesn't want me to get involved. I wonder why he doesn't communicate well. I mean, I don't know. Can y'all take a stab at that? Jen is not, she's not impressed. I think the whole idea of a mom group me sounds terrifying. It's horrible. Let me tell you what I have to go through. Okay. My son, my youngest son recently switched schools and he,

There's this mom group me and it has, I can look it up right now. Hang on, hold tight. Let me tell you how many unread group me messages I have in the class. I have 150 unread messages in the mom group me. And you know what's going to happen if I never read them? Nothing. Nothing. Zero. The last time I was in there, this is why I decided not to check it anymore.

Let's do a mom get together and we can go to Cosa Bella kitchen where we can all take a pasta cooking class. I have several fucking problems with that. Sounds like hell. Number one, I don't like group activities. If I'm going out for the evening,

I don't want to cook. I want the cooking to be done for me. And they're probably going to listen to this. They're probably going to think I'm the biggest bitch, but I'm okay with it. They probably already do. They're probably right. Then they're going to pray over the pasta. There's going to be a prayer. It's going to be a whole thing. I think I'm on so many prayer lists. Father, we just want to come to you. We just want to come to you. We say Father Weegis on our shows. You do a Father Weegis prayer where you say, Father Weegis.

We just want to thank you for. We just. Father, we just prayers. I grew up with them. We just want to thank you for this gluten. We want to keep gluten in America. Bless this nourishment to our bodies and the other gluten people who don't want them need to know what's up, Lord. We pray for them. How many prayer lists do you think you're on?

The sins that I think my family commit, everyone's praying for all of us. And they're all kind of similarly bad. Yeah. Yeah. We're just lumped in. My brother will smoke weed occasionally and the extended family know about it. And they're like, I just, it's just, he's smoking that and it's not good for him. Here's what I get from my mother. You know, marijuana is a gateway drug. Yeah.

It's a gateway. A gateway to calming your ass down. Pumps, as much as we're traveling, I really like to eat nuts, particularly pistachios. I love wonderful pistachios because they provide pistachios with no shells. My favorite flavor is the sea salt and vinegar.

You know, I really like jalapeno lime because I like a spicy nut, but they also have a wide range of flavors. There's a wonderful pistachios product for every taste bud and occasion from enjoying with family and friends or taking them with you on the go. Savory, salty, smoky, spicy, or sweet. Wonderful pistachios, no shells flavors are delicious snacks that consumers can feel good about.

Next time you're shopping for snacks and you are craving something crunchy and satisfying, ditch the bag of chips and grab Wonderful Pistachios No-Shells. Your body and your taste buds will thank us. Visit wonderfulpistachios.com to learn more.

It's time to get the world talking about black-led brands. We all have our favorites, our ride or dies, and the ones we can count on to help us live out our best lives. But we can't keep them all to ourselves, so if you're feeling like black opal beauty, tell somebody. If the lip bar gives you a lip for every drip, let them know. And if your hair is doing the do, shout that out too. Because one shout-out leads to another, and almost half of black-led brands are discovered by word of mouth.

Join Walmart in shouting out your favorite black-led products, creating a new world of choices at walmart.com forward slash black and unlimited. Jake, are you drinking sweet tea? No, I'm drinking water, but I grew up with sweet tea. Let me show you what I've had it with.

Oh, my God. This is the best thing that has ever happened to me. Everywhere we go, she's got this fucking cup and then she has a backup at all times. And she has to have liquid going in the body all the time. All the time. He's got a Wonder Woman thing that pisses me the fuck off because I can hear it going. Oh, my gosh. She just got mad at me before you came on. She's over here slurping on a

There it goes. No, I'm with you. I hate that shit. I've hated it. Why does everybody have to carry around large beverages? You don't see people in Europe doing that. They don't. My mama does that. I mean, she'll... Here's the thing. There's water right over there. But you never know. I can just go get it. What if you get stranded in some place and you need a drink? And it also, it keeps it so cold. I mean, my mother, I mean...

People in L.A. don't get this, but we talk about like we're back where we're from. If somebody says they're going to happy hour, you know, they're going to Sonic. They're not going to a bar.

Because everybody goes to happy hour at Sonic. And my mom, she'd be like, it's happy hour, baby. And she's going to Sonic to get her diet cherry. I just put some vodka in it. Diet Dr. Pepper with diet cherry light on the ice, Route 40. But it's this gargantuan. Route 44. Here we go. I've had it with all of that shit. We can drink out of glasses. And it's been good enough for everyone before that. I agree. I've had it with all of that shit. Jake doesn't believe all the stories that I talk about. I don't.

I've had it with Oklahoma stories, which I don't believe are real. He was talking about all the towns he lives like, well, you know, the town Davis and they all none of them sound real. And this guy, Wayne Payne, he was talking about this way. Payne, Wayne Payne on a toker.

A toka, yeah. There is a story in the pan, I mean a city in the panhandle of Oklahoma that is called Hooker. And their team mascot is the Hooker Horny Toads. Right next door to Hooker is Beaver. And their mascot are the Beaver Dusters.

No. Shut up. It is true. Welcome to the beaver duster territory. That's good. Hooker horny toes. It's fantastic. I was a mascot in high school. I was the Lone Grove Longhorn, so I don't know what it would be like to be a beaver duster. Yes. Beaver duster or a hooker horny toad. I guess that...

I still can't believe that high school mascots are still a big, like you're telling me in high school people I heard about when I went to college, people dressed up as their mascots. You're telling you have a whole in Oklahoma they have like a whole high school history. Yes, no, it's a big deal.

Thank you. Thank you. He went to a mascot camp. I did go to mascot camp. Do you know how much those mascots make? I about fell over when I found out. Like a professional team mascot, like we have the Rumble, the Buffalo for the Thunder. Those mascots make about half a million dollars a year. Wow. Yes.

Yes. Wow. Hell, I could do that. No shit. Dress me up as Rumble and send me out of a cannon. I'm your girl. I once tried to do a cartwheel in high school and then the longhorn head came off. I fell over and then children started screaming and saying, Bruno's dead. Bruno's dead, daddy. Yeah.

So it didn't go good. That's the cardinal sin of mascot. Yeah. You were shamed. You cannot talk. You cannot show your head as a mascot. And people that do, I have disrespect for them because I don't have a lot of arrogance about a lot of things, y'all. But I was a damn good fucking mascot. I love it.

I love it that you guys are so like in tune to Oklahoma. It looks like we have so much in common. Who would have ever known? I love it. And when you come to Oklahoma. I feel like I feel like I've lived there half of my life just hearing the stories. Yes. Yes.

We are a lot cheaper now. Yeah, I remember Arbuckle Wilderness because the commercials used to come on in North Texas. It was still a market. Yes. And we and he started singing the Arbuckle Wilderness song. And I threw like imprinting or something. Just he's like, come see the animals at Arbuckle Wilderness. The animals are waiting for you.

And so now all of our listeners, we will sing it. We'll go to a live show when we go to, we will sing it. And this is not in Oklahoma city. We'll go to like fucking Seattle and everybody in Seattle will sing. Our buckle wilderness. And I basically, one of the reasons I started saying it was, was when like when stupid people, that's another thing I've had it with. It was stupid. People try to engage with wild animals at all and should be murdered.

There's a reason you were murdered. Exactly. That bison gored someone in like North Dakota because they were trying to take a picture. And I was like, you can get gored by a bison at Arbuckle Wilderness. Yeah.

They should just let the animals out of the cages and just have fun with those people. Right. If you want your picture taken with an animal, here's your real picture. Take this. They probably got their Christmas horns up your ass. It's probably very pretty now. I'm a big person who doesn't like private zoos of any kind because I just think they're ridiculous. They are. And it's weird to own lots of wild animals. Yeah. Yeah.

And I just like let the animals go and let them just like eat the people who have the private zoo. Let the animals have the last laugh. Well, guys, we have to go. But thank you both. This has been so fun, guys. We're going to have you. We're excited. We're planning with Jen, your producer. We're going to have you on our show. Thanks for having us. It was so fun. See you soon. Bye. Bye. Bye.

Those guys are so much fun. Right. Like, I want to go stay at their house and live for a little bit. I love the Southern accents. It's so comforting. Yes. And I love how he tortures the other one with all the Oklahoma stories. Right. Follow us on all the shit. Like all the shit. Say bye to the audience. Assuming there is one. Bye. Bye. Bye.

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