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Listener, for this episode of I've Had It, we've partnered with eHarmony, the dating app to find someone you can be yourself with. Pops, what's going on out there on the dating apps? It's unbelievable how many people try to be something they're not on dating apps.
And what I love about eHarmony is it's real people for real relationships. You heard her, listener. That's why we've partnered with eHarmony because dating on eHarmony is different. eHarmony knows that to find something real, eHarmony is designed to help you bring out your personality on your profile with their unique personality test.
They even highlight similarities with your potential matches. And that's when the magic happens, when you form genuine connections and authenticity leads to intimacy. Listener, give eHarmony a shot and get started with their compatibility quiz so you can find someone you can be yourself with. eHarmony, get who gets you. So are we supposed to start the podcast? Yes.
Well, Pumps, how are you today? I'm good. How are you, Ms. Welch? I'm fantastic. I...
Had a pickleball lesson at 7 a.m. this morning. Outstanding. I did so fucking well at my pickleball lesson. My instructor was so impressed with me. Antonio Venderas? Antonio. He was amazing. I was phenomenal. And I have a pickleball match later this afternoon where I plan on rolling out all these new tricks. Right. Just wax the competition. I mean, I cannot wait.
They have no idea what they're getting ready to get in for. That's right. I cannot wait. You know, we have this shot where I'll hit a ball and if it kind of hits the other girl in her vaginal area, you know what I call that shot? A crotch shot? A twat shot. We do love twat. We're trying to work it in our conversation more. The twat shot. The twat shot. I like it. The twat shot. It's a good, it's a good, it's a good shot.
I like it. It's a great shot. Really throws your opponent off hitting them right in the twat. Yeah, I think that would do it. Well, here's the deal. Today is one of our favorite days where we hear from our listener and we are so excited to hear from our listeners about what they've had it with because there are so many things in the world that are so insufferable. And annoying. Yes. And we need to know what...
is going on in the lives of our listener because we here at I've Had It podcast care about our listeners' petty grievances. Absolutely. Kylie, who's our first contestant? Up first, we've got Emily G. Okay. I've had it with women having home births.
Take your ass to the hospital. Get out of that pool. Take your ass to the emergency room and have your ass a birth in the hospital. Get that epidural, girl. You are not making major moves by having a baby in a pool. I have had it with home births.
I could not agree more. There's just nothing grosser than the thought of giving birth in a pool because then all that stuff that comes out is then on your skin. Why would anybody not want an epidural? I know people think it like makes them like, oh, I give natural childbirth. Okay, good for you. I did the drugs. It was great. It was easy. Hold on.
If you do a home birth, do you have it in a pool or is the pool optional? What's going on with the pool? I think people have babies in like the bathtub at home because it's like you give birth and they're in a warm water area. So it's supposed to be easier on the child. Enough. I don't want to hear. I don't. But all that gunk comes out. I don't want to. I do not. I hate that.
labor and delivery war stories and i don't give a shit if somebody i don't want to hear about anybody's epidural and i sure as fuck don't want to hear about anybody's home birth delivery and why somebody would want to be a hero in the days of modern medicine it does it's not going to make you a better mother to decline a an epidural in a hospital i don't understand like
I would, it's not even an option. No, I would never even cross my mind that that was an option, the home birth thing. I don't know. You know, there's always like, you know, there's always these people that it's like a skirting in a way, you know, they're kind of trying to skirt the system. Like we have evolved as a species to where we have better things. Like now we have electricity. Right. You know, and 150 years ago, they didn't have it.
And I like it. Right. And I like air conditioning. I'm not going to be like, you know, it's August and it's 105 degrees, but fuck it. I'm going to live in my log cabin without AC. Right. That'd be fucking crazy. I don't understand why people do it. I think it's in the same vein to deny going to a hospital. Because what if something's wrong with that child? That's what I think. You have a team of doctors right there. Right. And now...
The infant mortality rate is much lower than it was 150 years ago. Right. It's much lower. I've had it. Had it with that. That was a good one. That's a really good one. Yeah, that was a good one, Emily. Really good. Let me ask you this question. Okay. Did either of you eat your placenta? Fuck no. No, I think that's bananas. Crazy town. I heard about this. I heard about this about 10 years after I had my first kid.
And then the people are storing the placenta, eating the placenta. I think it's fucking cuckoo, right? Cocoa puffs and it's cannibalism and nobody's calling it what it is. It,
It's fucking nut job sickness. Yeah. If you've seen Jeffrey Dahmer, this is that same shit and they're trying to dress it up and trot it out. Like eating a placenta is somehow not that shit. And that's exactly what it is. I'm not buying it. And I've had it. I've had it with that too. That's gross. They're crushing them up now and like drying them up, crushing them up and people can swallow their own placenta in a pill.
See, that just goes. This is Jeffrey Dahmer shit. My thing is like, why would you be thinking that much about your placenta? It's like you give birth, they throw it away, move on down the road. Like there's no place for a placenta after the baby's born, except in the trash, period. I've seen people put it in milkshakes.
I mean, how fucking gross is that? It's just, it's too much. I've had it. I've had it with the home deliveries, lack of epidurals. And if you're eating your placenta, for God's sakes, don't tell anybody. Right. That is number one, don't do it. But number two, if you put that shit on the internet...
I think that there should be some blocking should go on. That is just an overshare. And it's like it's cannibalism. It's what it is. It's gross. It's gross. Okay. Okay. Up next, we've got A. Henson. Okay. I've had it with old men in meetings and old, I mean, over the age of 55 wearing terrible cologne.
It's the kind that sits on your grandfather's cabinet when you were small and it's yellow. Looks like it was pumped some moonshine in the back mountain. And it looks like how Joe Pesci would smell in the 80s. I've just left a meeting. It's an hour later in my car and I still smell like him. That is nostril rape. And I have had it.
Nostril break. It's true. I know exactly the smell she's talking about. Yeah. And you described it perfectly. Joe Pesci in the 80s and just kind of the slick back here. But no, there is a breed of men. And they're the type, you know, these guys that when they stand up, they kind of have a toothpick in their mouth, but they kind of like make this big to-do with hiking their pants up. Right. They stand up and there's kind of a...
Winks. Right. Yeah. Like that. And the toothpicks hanging out. These would be the cheap cologne abusers. Yes. Because there is. Josh Welch would be a high-end cologne abuser. Right. And then when you get to the cheap cologne, it's exponentially worse. And it is nostril rape. It is. It is. It is. And it sits up in there. Yeah. And it can't get rid of it. And how much did he have on if she's in her car an hour later and her car smells like it?
You know what amazes me about men that are probably around 55 and older is how fuckable they think they are. Yeah.
They have overinflated their wealth, their worth. And you know what I'm talking about. Oh, yeah. I mean, they look at you and they just look you up and down and they think. Like, let's go. And I'm thinking he really thinks he's super fuckable, doesn't he? Right. And it's phenomenal because it seems like the older they get, the more fuckable they think they are. You see it in airports. You see it in, you know, Target. You see it at the gas station. And the eyes just kind of linger on you and you're thinking, listen up, fuckface. This thing ain't happening. Right.
Ever. But they're like tripling down on it. Right. It's unbelievable. You get that with man, Kylie, even though you're gay? Yeah. Yeah. And don't you think when they get over 55, it's just a, it's, it's, they really think they're fuckable, don't they? Yeah. Everything that is wrong with like a young man.
Just gets worse as they age. Agree. Same could be said for women too. Yeah. Yeah. I'm getting crankier as I get older. There's no doubt about that. Oh God, I'm insufferable. People on our Instagram will be like, boy, she sure is mad all the time.
And what's so funny, listener, is like if you knew me all the time, I'm not this cranky all the time. Right. It just comes out. Yeah. And I'm actually quite affectionate and sweet and positive to all of my friends. But when we're doing this podcast, I mean, it is the shit that I have had it with. I mean, accelerator smash to the floorboard. Just bubbling over on high. Totally. But I'm actually, I mean, moderately pleasant person. Yeah.
Moderately. Moderately. I think that's fair. I think that's totally fair. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Okay. Up next, we've got Anora. I have fucking had it with paying it forward in the Starbucks drive-thru. You know, when they say, oh, the car ahead of you paid for your order. This is not helpful to anyone.
I have made the decision to come to Starbucks because I have the means. Instead, pay the baristas. Give them a tip. My husband made the mistake of paying it forward to the car behind him and their order was huge. He had just ordered a coffee. So stop fucking doing it. Yeah. The last time someone bought my coffee for me, I said thanks and drove away and broke the chain. Yeah.
That is so true. Fabulous. I mean, I agree with this. Pay it forward. This is why, listener, this is why you're so smart. And this is why our Thursday therapy sessions are so important. And one thing I want to let everybody know is each week we find out that we are all in the same tribe because now these all start with, I have fucking had it with. Yes.
And you know, I thought you and I were so cynical and kind of alone on asshole island. No, I think we're not. Asshole island is getting big. And I love it. The more assholes, the better. Fuck paying it forward. Yeah. No. I'm into that. I'm into that too. Here's the thing about that shit. It sounds good and it sounds positive, but it really isn't because your husband got dicked over. Right. All he wanted was one coffee and he ends up buying 15. Right.
And somebody started, and I commend her for breaking the chain. I do too. I like it. I admire just that. Thanks for the free coffee. I'm out. Yes. Yes. Because I always, I do always ask though, um,
How much the other person ordered if I'm going to pay it forward. Right. Like, is it two coffees or is it for the entire office and all the office workers, kids or something? Right. So I only do the small one, but I do. I think just breaking the chain, I think just balls out. Be done. Yeah. That's good advice. Yeah. That happened to me in college once.
Someone paid it forward for my one latte. And I was like, amazing. Can I get theirs? I feel so good. The Duggars are behind me. Oh, gosh. Like 12 kids. Each one got a little milkshake. It was like $30, $40. Yeah. And in college. And I did it. You did it? He didn't back out? So let me ask you this. Do you think you can...
the Starbucks, how much is theirs? And if they say it's 30, you can say, fuck that and move on. Yeah, I've done that. I've said, how much is theirs? And if it's like a super exorbitant amount, I like, how much is the one after them?
And then it's like, you shop your pay. Yes. You shop it. I shop my pay it forward, but I'm done. I'm going straight with her now. No, I agree. I think we all should do it. How often does this go on? I've only experienced it once. Were you at Starbucks? I was at a Starbucks, but I don't go. Josh brings me a Starbucks every morning. So I don't, I don't go through them. And I kind of oppose, I'm starting to really oppose drive-thrus.
Really? Yeah. My pay it forward was at Panera Bread, but I need to know why you're out on drive-thrus. I just think everybody's just getting lazy. I think everybody's getting lazy. Mind you, I went through a drive-thru three or four days ago with Roman. So I'm a complete hypocrite on this. But while I was in the drive-thru, I thought, God damn it, Jennifer, park your car, walk in,
Order your food and walk out. Why does everybody have to be in their goddamn cars wrapped around the block all the time? Because we're so fucking lazy. We can't walk in a store anymore. So I'm building towards boycotting drive-thrus. I'm not there yet. I'll probably go through a drive-thru tomorrow, but I'm trying to build up to commit to that. And then I want to start a movement, but I'm not quite there yet. I'm still in the hypocritical bargaining stage of my drive-thru.
Okay. Kylie, do you like drive-thrus? Yeah, I feel like sometimes it's a shame thing. Like I might want to go somewhere I'm not proud of. I'm not about to get out of my car and walk into a Wendy's. I just want to like get through with my glasses on. Right. And no one knows. On the down low. So nobody knows you eat at Wendy's. Right. Wendy's is awesome.
I'll tell you what, Wendy's has a great Frosty. Their Frosty is great. Okay, you ready for the last one? Yes. We're ready. Her username is BakedByBecca, and it's kind of a two-parter. Okay. Pumps, Jennifer, let me just tell you what I have had it with this week. Federal income taxes. Like, they already know how much we're supposed to pay, yet they won't tell us, and we get in trouble if we don't know. So, cut the shit.
Tell us how much we owe so we can pay. Thank you. Side note, in college, me and all my roommates used to sit on our back porch and smoke cigarettes with one rubber glove on, and we would call it the pump glove. And in retrospect, I don't think any of us even smoke cigarettes. There's that.
The pump glove. The pump glove. So she's young if she's just getting out of college. She's young. And I love she's 100% correct with the government. Just tell us. They fucking know. Right. They know. Right. They should send us a bill.
Right. This is what you owe. Pay it by April 15th. Everybody else sends us a bill. Everybody else. They should send out the bills. No, I know. I guess people would bitch about if they didn't give them the deductions and it'd be a shit show. But I do think that'd be easier, particularly if you don't have a complicated, like if you're a W-2 or 1099 person, it shouldn't be that hard. Taxes are, I mean, you know that saying, death and taxes. Right. I mean, it's just so true. I mean, I tell my kids all the time,
Be a vigilant bill payer. I am like the moment I get a bill, I pay it immediately. I'm vigilant about it.
But when it comes to taxes, be ahead of that shit. Like they will come and they will take you down. But I love the pump glove situation. I do too. That's really sweet. And girls, I don't want you all smoking. I mean, pumps is still, she's quit smoking for years, but she's still over here hacking up a lung. Right. It's still catching up with me. You don't, you don't. When I quit smoking, I knew like nobody escapes this.
And you quit smoking while I was going through a divorce, which I really kind of thought was selfish. But that's, you know, I know that's water under the bridge. You will never forgive me for that. I know. I was like, now you're going to quit. Listener. So pumps and I would have these long therapeutic sessions where we were smoking cigarettes and chain smoking, chain smoking. That was so fun.
And then I quit and pumped is going through her divorce. And I mean, she was, she's still mad at me. What was that? 2015 is when I quit. Yeah. And so she still brings it up how selfish and much she hates me that I quit smoking while she was going through her divorce. I mean, just left her main gal hanging. I know. Yeah. I know. Well, listener, I...
So enjoy hearing from you. So much fun. They're always great. They're so good. We agree with everything you all say. And we feel like Asshole Island could be turning into a continent. Right. Bring it. We're building a nation of petty grievances. We're nation building. Yes. Come nation build with us at I've Had It podcast where we wholly reject the
inspirational quotes, and home births. And manifesting. I have had it. Yeah, all of them. Done. Listener, here's just one thing you need to know about us. Pumps and I can talk about something for the 20th time that we have had it with, like manifesting and
And the 20th time we will be just as fed up with it as we were the first time. And enthusiastic. Yes. We don't miss a beat. Like we can drag out a dead horse and beat the ever right over and out of it. And I think our listeners are kind of with us. I do too. We used to just think that was us. Right. But now we're realizing we got lots.
We got lots of people feel the exact same way. Nation of assholes is rising up. That's right. We need to figure out what our flag would be. I just think it would be, you know, that like happy face. Uh-huh.
With the Ghostbusters? What? The happy face with the Ghostbusters? Is that what you're going to say? Oh, like the... Yeah. Yes. Yeah. Just cross it out. Right. I'm going to think on that because I think it should have something to do with laughter because laughter is the best medicine. I agree. I agree. So we're going to have to go back to the... The crying laughing emoji is a good one. Yeah. We could do that. Thank you, listener, for joining us on these Thursdays. Please...
Follow us, subscribe, rate, write a review, and DM us a voice memo to our Instagram account. Pumps. See you next Tuesday. There was a little high end at the end. See if you can do it again. See you next Tuesday. That's my Batman voice. There are some football feelings you can only get with BetMGM Sportsbook. That's right. Not just the highs. The ohs.
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