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cover of episode Sunny With a Chance of Orgasms with Emily Morse

Sunny With a Chance of Orgasms with Emily Morse

2023/6/13
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The podcast begins with a light-hearted discussion about clapping and transitions into a more serious topic of strangers interrupting conversations, highlighting the frustration and awkwardness it causes.

Shownotes Transcript

So are we supposed to start the podcast? Ready? One, two, three. It's unbelievable. I mean, the highs that I have reached with my clapping. It's unbelievable. It's unbelievable. I mean, you were born to shine. Yeah.

And my 1% talent is clapping. It's unbelievable how successful. Yeah. And just you're at the top, the creme de la creme of clappers. If there was a clapping Olympics. You'd win. I'd be the gold medalist. Totally. Yes. Gold medalist. Pumps, what have you had it with? Oh my God. This is like, I can't even believe it. I've had it with strangers interrupting me.

Two people having a conversation. And let me tell you the most egregious example that's ever happened in the history of the world happened to me. So I'm at lunch with my sister-in-law. It's kind of a fancy cute place. Okay. So this man comes and sits down the table over. Okay. He's alone. He's not so old that he's senile, but he's not young enough that he...

Should should not have known better. It's probably like 60s ish. Okay, so I mean, this is a full fledged adult. This is a man. Okay, grown ass man. Okay, so she and I are talking. He starts jumping into the conversation, like adding his two cents about what we're saying. And both of us are like, what the fuck is going on? Like, this is weird.

So then we both kind of turn our backs to where he's at the back and start kind of whispering. The nonverbal cues. The nonverbal cues are going out like crazy. Still doesn't get it. Not picking up what you're putting down. Not picking it up. It got so bad that after we had our appetizer, we canceled the rest of the order and left. It was so bad. We would have had more peace at a McDonald's with a playground. I mean, this guy...

Shut the fuck up. You know what this is? All roads lead to what, Pumps? Yak mouths.

Yak mouth, yak mouth, yak mouth. They're everywhere. All the time. Lack self-awareness, cannot follow social cues, cannot follow anything. And if you go to a restaurant by yourself. Right. Be by yourself. Take a book, get on your phone, daydream. Do you remember that nightmare flight we took when we were going to Mexico? Where?

Where you went bananas Yes I did Well there was a drunk couple Right Sitting in front of us Yes And what were they doing? Yak mouth Yak mouth What were they doing though? They were butting in To our conversation Yeah They were climbing Over the seat To butt into the conversation They were sitting in front of us And her face would appear Through the cracks And then she'd climb up over It's like the 5am flight And these fuckers For sure Pulled an all-nighter And are hammered Dog shit Drunk

Yes. And they kept on and they kept on and they kept on. And listener, this is the famous line. I think we've talked about this before where pumps looked at everybody and she looked at me and she said, Jenny's going to blow. She's going to blow. And I blew. I mean, I told them, I was like, quit butting into our conversations. I've had it. I've been saying I've had it my whole life. I told these people I've had it. We're on a girl's trip. We want to talk to each other. We don't want to talk to you anymore. I just point blank told her.

You did. And what was so funny about it is they acted like they were mortally wounded. Like it really hurt their feelings. I was just like, we're not your friend. And you're the one that keeps jumping into our private conversation with your drunk ass. I mean, I still like retroactively have had it with that. It was bad. Do you know something I've also retroactively had it with? I've been meaning to talk to you about this.

Sometimes you've had it with something for like in that era. Right. And then when you think about it, it's like, oh my God, I'd really had it with that. I remember when your kids were really little, my kids were really little. And so I'd load up my kids and would go to your house and it could be a Monday. It could be a Thursday. It could be any day of the week. Walked into your house, reeked of bacon and sausage. And then I would go to your kitchen and you had literally these giant plates full of bacon and

and another one full of sausage, and then usually a box of Krispy Kremes if it was like a Saturday or Sunday. Right. And I was always like incredulous. Like, did she not get, did she not heard about like the cholesterol and the fat? And the kids, your kids would eat like 10 pieces of bacon and four pieces of sausage and nobody thought anything about it. Like it was just totally normal. And it wasn't like a Saturday breakfast. It was seven days a week. Right. Plates of bacon,

Plates of sausage. It was unbelievable. I was thinking about that just the other day because I make for Luke breakfast every morning and it includes either bacon or sausage every morning. It's amazing that these kids haven't had triple bypasses.

I mean, seriously, they have had a steady diet of bacon. And I've never seen people eat that much bacon and sausage as your children. And everybody just serves it and everybody just acts like it's normal. Right. Had it. I've had it with that. Just wanted to revisit an old grievance of mine. No, it's still ongoing. And so you're still doing it? Yeah. The air fryer has changed my life. I don't drive out to your house that much anymore since you moved out to the suburbs. And because I can't see a goddamn thing when I walk in there. Yeah.

But anyway, let me tell you what I've had it with. Okay. Okay. So, you know, my youngest son, Roman, plays AAU basketball. Right. So he has two games a couple of Saturdays ago. Okay. The venue is about a 20 to 25 minute drive from our home. Okay. We go to the first game.

I go in, I pay for Josh and I to get in and they give you those little bracelets you have to wear. Yes. Josh parks the car. When he walks in, I go, here's your bracelet. Instead of putting it on his wrist, he sticks it in his front jean pocket. Right. I'm like, okay, whatever. I don't care. So after Roman's first game, we have like an hour, 45 minute window. And Josh is like, I want to go back to the house. I don't want to sit in this gym. Right. So we drive home and then we sit there for 30 minutes and then we drive back to the venue. Right.

As we pull up, Josh goes, oh, I don't have my bracelet. And I go, you stuck it in your front pocket. And he goes, I changed jeans. What? No, he didn't. He did a costume change. That's ridiculous.

And that's ridiculous. I said, Josh, you are a psycho. Like who does a costume change in between the first game and the second game? And he said, you know, that lady, when I walk in, she's going to think I went home and changed my jeans because I shit my pants. Why? Why? He didn't shit his pants, but a psycho did a costume change.

I'm sitting here thinking maybe we need to get Josh a hobby, something to put more energy into. Here's the problem. He just started running again. And guess what happens with that? He's obsessed with running. No. Running outfits. Running merch. Yeah. He goes on one run and then I'm like, where are you? And he's like, oh, I came to the running store. And I'm like, oh, here we go. So we have to get all the running. When he gets obsessed with tennis, he has 95,000 Rafa Nadal, Babelot,

I mean, and he has to have four because he's like, what if I break a string? And then he's got all the merch and he'll go through like a Roger Federer stage and he's wearing all Roger merch.

It's unbelievable. Like he is the perfect candidate for like fucking egregious capitalism. I mean, he just falls prey to it. Like you would not believe every marketing person. It would be like, we need to make every single one of our customers as committed to this as Josh Welch is. Yes. Okay. And then him immediately assuming that she would think he shit his pants. Well, because you spot it, you got it.

He has shit his pants. No, I know. But I just think that's funny that he immediately assumed she thought he changed his pants. Think about how crazy she's thinking I am. Like they raced out. They only have like an hour 30 and then he comes back in a different pair of jeans. I mean, it's like, was this a shark gone wrong?

Yeah, I think that he's giving entirely too much credit to what the admissions lady thought about him and just was like... It's just unbelievable. It's just... It's unbelievable, listener. It's unbelievable. And I'm so glad that I like... I can just kind of like, oh my God, that is his neuroses. Right. Like, I just...

I just don't pay that much attention to it, but I had to mention it to you because Josh is one of your best friends and you get it on such a level of the intensity that he has about this stuff. It's just, it's nutty. Yeah. This goes to like inner childhood trauma listeners, what it's from, but that's another podcast on another date. That's right. I would like to welcome everybody.

to I've Had It podcast. I am Jennifer. I am Angie. We call her Pumps. She is the star of the show. She's the hot one. She is the Princess Diana of podcasting. Shut up. No, I mean, that's just how it's going to be. You clap, and this is how I introduce you. The princess of podcasting claps. You're the hot one. You're the star. Let me have this moment to tee you up. All right. Thank you. Let me give you the proper introduction that you need. The difference...

Kylie, let's check in with you. What the hell is going on with our social media? I've got some debauchery. Oh, good. Let's hear it. I'm going to read this comment and then I'm going to tell the listener who wrote it after. Okay. I feel sorry for Jennifer's cat. She's very ill. Although Jennifer is attentive to her, why does she insult the poor animal on a podcast? Jennifer, who wrote that? My mother. Okay.

Fucking Linda for the win on that. That is fantastic. Linda's out here trolling me on social media. Well, you trolled her on social media, so turnabout is fair play. Tit for tat, mom. Tit for tat. She's like, why is Jennifer out trashing her cat on a podcast? And listener, my mother would kind of say it like this.

And I don't know why Jennifer is out there trashing her cat on a podcast. Yes. And the older you get, the more you sound like her. I mean, I think it's just inevitable. My mother is incredibly dry, like very dry humor. She's hilarious. Okay, who's next? We got a comment on Instagram from Lil Hunt 16. My wife and I love your show, but it has come at a cost. We can't agree on who's the hottest. Okay.

Lil' Hunt, stand your ground.

Lil Hunt, you have to stand your ground. I mean, Pumps gets all the accolades. I have very few people that are willing to do this for me. So Lil Hunt, I love you. And I'm sorry about the family problems. I hope your wife doesn't change clothes in between, you know, an hour window of basketball games. But...

I love Lil Hunt. I have a feeling he's going to succumb at some point because he's going to want to have sex. Happy wife, happy life. That's right. She's going to win, Lil Hunt. She's going to win. So take your victory lap now. At some point, you're going to be adding old pumps to that spank bag. That's terrifying.

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And with instant alerts, you'll never miss out on seeing what could be your new perfect place. Visit apartments.com, the place to find a place. Okay, listener, we have a guest today and she is a sex guru, or as pumps would say, guru.

So her name is Emily Morse. She is the author of Smart Sex. Let's welcome Dr. Emily to I've Had It. Hi, Emily. How are you? I'm good. How are you? We are fantastic. We are so happy to have you on. We received copies of your book. Yes. And there is a lot of insightful information. Yes. In this little sex book of yours, Emily. Yes.

Thank you. I'm so glad you like it. We loved it. Smart sex. Smart sex because nobody likes dumb sex. No, exactly. I thought, well, who's going to say, you know what? I'm good. I'm good with the mediocre to dumb sex. Let's be smarter, right? We can all be smarter. I think there's a lot of dumb sex out there. Yes. Oh, yeah. That's how I started my career. I was like,

I'm having so much bad, dumb sex. I mean, come on, let's make this smarter and better. Well, Emily, you know, we like to talk about what people have had it with. You know, we think there's too much attention to

on how to make yourself a better person. And we feel strongly that one avenue that you can make yourself better is to get stuff off your chest, is to vent with your girlfriends, your guy friends. So tell us what you've had it with. I've had it with shame around sex toys. People not use, I've had it with people not using enough lube.

I've had it with stigma around lube. If I have to say to one more person, like, oh, I don't need lube. I'm like, lube is not about needing it. It makes your sex life better. I have to tell you, Emily, that I heard you on another podcast that I love and you were talking about the lube. And I mean, after you, I had never even thought about it, went and got me some lube. Wait, hold the phone, Emily. Yes. So much better. Yes. You are a sexual anorexic. Who are you using the lube with?

I'm just saying if you masturbate with lube, it's better.

I didn't know that until Dr. Emily. And I also made my son where you were talking about the porn and how it sets up terrible expectations, blah, blah, blah. I had my child captive in my car, like 14 year old son. And I made him listen to it. And I thought he was going to fall out the car. He was so embarrassed, but it's like, you need to know this information. Did you hear what she just said? Yes. That's right. Yeah. So I'm so glad you did that. That's it.

They don't want, no, they're not gonna wanna hear you talk about sex. Your kids are not gonna be very excited about it, but that's how change happens. We have to, where else are they gonna hear it from? Porn and porn as we know is not accurate. So I appreciate that you did that. Just keep having the conversation. And we have teenage kids and I think there's two ways that people look at sex.

And number one is this abstinence only culture and which produces a lot of shame around sex. And we live in the buckle of the Bible belt. And this seems to be a popular method here. And not surprisingly, we have very high teen pregnancy rates. And then they have their church or their parents or, you know, peers pressuring them to push this down. And the result of that is people have a lot of

sexual disorders and sexual problems later in life. The shame spiral is real. It takes years to deprogram that, to reprogram your mind. And I just think if you think about it, that's your earliest message. It just doesn't go away. And so I really want to encourage parents to talk to their kids about puberty and hormones and what's happening. Just give it to them straight. Like this is what's going to happen. And I know that

that parents like, Oh, God, that's awful. But what's the alternative? You know, the alternative, we see the alternative, right? The alternative is that kids grow up and they just feel really, you know, bad about themselves and their bodies and any sexual activities they partake in. Yeah, I think it's super important. Perhaps tell her about your experience. Okay, so this is a true story. When you were talking about, you know, the shame, you don't talk about sex growing up, kids are told it's bad, blah, blah, blah. Okay, so that was me straight down the line.

So the very first time I ever had sex, I was 150,000% convinced when I stepped my foot down that hell would open up. Satan would reach, grab me, take me down. So I did the first foot and I was like, okay, I'm good. Did the second foot. And then I was like, oh my God, nothing happened. This shit is fun. Now I'm in. Yeah.

I remember thinking that. It's clear as day. Okay, so let me ask you this. So you are incredibly attractive, darling, and you are, you know, sexually smart. So when you date a guy and they get in bed with you, are they intimidated? Do you get a lot of soft serves? Like, how do you handle what your career is with the male ego and how it attaches to their penis? That's a great question. How do you navigate that?

Oh, God. You know, I've been doing this a long time. I have to say that early on, perhaps, it was a little bit more, well, maybe it is intimidating now. I could see that because it is true that men are raised to believe or they just, you know, societally believe that they are the masters of the universe. They should be the best in bed. Right. And so when they come into my bedroom, you know, they're like, I'm sure they're a little bit intimidated. However, it's not that I'm sitting there with a bullhorn being like, you know, to myself.

doing? Like, that's not my clitoris. Like I don't pull out my vulva puppet and be like, have you not seen where the, where all my nerve endings are? I don't do that. I'm actually like kind of, and you know, I'm a nice person. I'm kind of a pleaser in some ways. So I, I, yeah, but I think that hopefully here's the thing, you know, guys who are, I guess, intimidated or who have the confidence. So,

I don't know. I think they get through it. I think there's some that afterwards tell me like, oh God, I was really, really nervous. I'm like, you're fine. I mean, the thing about being smart sexually though is that it's not about the moves. It's a really, I mean, to be a great lover,

You have to like pay attention, be present, go slow, you know, care about your partner's needs, not be all about your owns and like hammering away. So I think it's not that hard to be a great lover if you just really care about the person that you're with and you're curious. It's kind of the same thing we talk about in our podcast when people irritate us. Lack of self-awareness, not being intuitive, not taking cues.

We say social cues when we're talking about being, but sexual cues. It's kind of the same sort of process that would translate when you're in line waiting to go somewhere, waiting to get something done. You apply that same type of intuition to the bedroom. And I think that one thing that you just touched on that I think is really important, and I wish more people would pay attention to this, is that you're not just talking about

is it can be equally satisfying to please another person as it is yourself. And I think a lot of men, it's just...

men and sex it's a whole different beast than women and sex like their egos are wrapped up into it more than our emotions are kind of more wrapped up into it just as a default setting and then after you get you know in a relationship with somebody for a while at least for me as a woman when I'm more comfortable I'm a lot more extroverted right in the bed than I am initially so in that vein

We want to ask you this. So you start dating a guy, okay? And you're having pretty pedestrian sex at first, okay? Because you're just testing the waters. At what time frame do you think it's appropriate to roll out a kink? Oh, gosh. I think it's appropriate to...

To roll it out. I don't think you have to wait necessarily. I don't know what, what's give me an example. Okay. Okay. Let's say that a guy is really into anal and like,

If I went out with a guy and like date two, he's like, I'm super into anal. I would be like, I'm super out. Like I'm done. And I would appreciate that he rolled that out initially. You know, some of my gay friends have told me like really weird stories, like where they go on a date with somebody and like, you know, right out of the gate, date one, the guy's like, Hey, I'm going to put these socks on and I want you to fuck me my feet with the socks. And I'm like, what? Date one, right out of the gates. Yeah. It's a minefield out there. Yeah.

It really is. And I think we can learn a lot from the gay community in many ways. That's great. Cause a lot of it is, well, I guess a lot of my gay friends, like, you know, I want to know, I'm just, I did for the sex. I'm not looking for a relationship and we want to like clear it. Like, are we into the same things? And I think there's a happy medium here. What we see is most people do not talk about sex at all. I mean, so what I am proposing here to live a smarter, sexier life is for people to have these conversations with,

Early and often about sex. And so rather than, I mean, I can't tell you how many people listen to the show, call into sex with Emily and say, I have been together 15 years. We've never talked about sex. How do I get my partner to talk about this? What do we do? So I think that it's, I mean, I get that more than not, like more so than not, people are not comfortable talking about it.

I do think that the world that I want everyone to live in, we're not there yet. So on the first date being like, hey, like, where should we go for dinner? Are you into like, you know, Italian food? And I'm really into anal. How about you? It doesn't always like roll off the tongue. And it's awkward because we're not there yet.

However, I do love the idea of when you're getting into it, you start to know that the sex is going to happen or you're comfortable with each other to kind of have a conversation with you. You need sort of foreplay even for the conversation being like, oh, so I'm really, you know, what are you into? What are your turn ons? What do you like in bed? Because then you get to know if someone has like a growth mindset around sex or if they're completely shut down.

But what I realized is that what I offer on my show is that I normalize the conversation around sex. It's like, listen to how the way I talk about it, I normalize it. Like, I literally want people to talk about sex like they're talking about the weather. Like, it's sunny with a chance of orgasms. Like, let's just...

Talk about it. And then it's also having affirmations. And even if it's like in your phone and you're telling yourself, you write notes and like you're, you know, like you're saying like, I am a sexual healthy person deserving of pleasure. I deserve pleasure. My body's, you know, and that's why you also do that. Mantra. Yes. Yeah. I worry about pump. She's kind of like a sexual anorexic. Yeah. I can tell me more about that. Well, I can go for years without having sex with zero issues. Do you remember a time when you were into sex?

For sure, college, law school. Yeah. When I was younger. I think it just became a checkmark on the list. Like, what have I got to do today? Go to the grocery store, have a check. Do you think any of that's from like all the religious indoctrination? Well, it would have to be. Right? It would totally have to be. Yeah. There you go. I mean, I think that that's absolutely. I mean, from what you were telling me, thinking that you were going to go up in flames after the first time you were a kid. That doesn't...

Right. We just, no, no, but, but now we know, now we know. And so that would take, yeah, really like affirmations. You're deserving of pleasure masturbation. I love that you bought Lou because listen, that's the other thing is that self-exploration is just really important to understand our own bodies and rebuild our relationships to our bodies and realize, oh, I give myself an orgasm and then you'll start sex. We get sex. So the more sex we have, the more sex we want.

So yeah, it's a multi-pronged approach. Yeah. Okay. I have a question on that. Asking for a friend, wink, wink.

So how many vibrator options should you have? Like, does one, after you use it for a while, get stale? Should you flip over? How does all that work? That's a great question. I mean, the great thing is our bodies are covered in nerve endings that feel really great when stimulated. And so I think that there's... I mean, God, I have so many, hundreds and hundreds, but I've had every vibrator I've ever had. I literally do. That's the one intimidating part, maybe, when people date me. I'm like, I've got...

Rows, like my whole broom is just like vibrators. Okay. But I think a great handheld vibrator that like fits in the palm of your hand. There's so many great. If you go to sexwithemily.com, I've got like a lot of guides to, or by Smart Sex. I have actually have pictures of all the different kinds of vibrators. I don't think that you need all of them. I love just like a handheld clitoral vibe is a great place to start. Just like a wand that's external because you can also use it as a, you know, as a massager.

Okay, Emily, now we want to play a game with you called Had It or Hit It. So you can tell us if you had it with these things or if you like it, meaning you would hit it. Oh my God. Welcome to Had It or Hit It. I would hit it. I'd hit it every day, sometimes twice a day.

Okay. Had it or hit it pegging. I've, I'd hit it. See, that intimidates me. The thought of that. I just recently found out what this was listener. And so what it is, and you can correct me if I'm wrong, is a woman will strap on a dildo and then anally penetrate her male partner. And that's pegging. So you're, you're, you'd hit it. I hit it. I mean, Hey, I'm not going to yuck anyone's yum. Yeah.

Okay. Had it or hit it glory holes. Honestly, I hit it. I'm not going to. Yeah. I'm not saying for me a glory. And let me just. So first off, let's go back to the pegging thing is that men have a prostate. And when the prostate is stimulated with a finger, a toy, a

another penis, if you're, you know, with men, it can feel incredible when it's like the male G spot. So that's what pegging is. And so I can understand though, you're reversing roles. Some men are like, oh, I want to know what it feels like. So, and the glory hole is became really popular, like in the gay community, like our bath houses were basically men stick their penis through a hole and in a wall.

And then someone goes up and has sex with them or sucks them. And so really they can't see their face. Oh my gosh. I've never heard of such a thing. I have.

I have a ton of gay friends. And I'm going to say this. Is it still popular? Oh, yeah. Yeah. So during the pandemic, it came back too. I went to Aspen a few years ago for Gay Ski Week with one of my gay friends. And so we had so much fun. And I'm like totally like, I want to be on your grinder. And I really appreciated the frank talk around sex online.

on this app. So of course, I'm totally impersonating my friend. I'm like, Hey, where are you? It tells where the other person is. But they immediately get down to the nitty gritty, like how big are you cut or uncut? Are you a top? Are you a bottom? They everything is pre negotiated menu, you're ordering. It's very transactional. They you know, they each want something off of each other. It's very consensual. And it would be like, or is this going to be a compatible hookup? Or is it not? And I was like,

First, I was kind of shocked. And then I was like, you know what? This is really fantastic. It's pretty efficient. They're prearranging what they want. They both have a sexual need. They both have a sexual drive. They're negotiating the terms, figuring out if they're compatible. And then they would hook up. And then that would be the end of it. And I'm just like, you know, this is really actually...

Intelligent. Right. And efficient. Yes. Exactly. Well, this is what going back to the conversation earlier, how great if we get to that point, you know, with straight couples too, that we could start to talk about sex. It doesn't have to be like top or bottom cut. Send me a picture of your penis. Yeah.

We don't have to do that stuff, but there's some version of that that would make our lives so much easier. I have something on my website called the Yes, No, Maybe list. And it's a free guide that people can download at sexwithemily.com. And it has like 80 sex acts on it from like things like kissing, but it has anal, it has dirty talk. And it says, is it a yes? Is it a no? Or is it a maybe? And then it's like gives people a menu essentially so they can compare with their partner and be like, well, what are we both into? Let's start there. Right. Okay. Had it or hit it.

Male order brides. Oh, God. I don't have an opinion on that. I mean, I probably had it. No, I have had it. I was thinking I had it. No, you got to figure out who someone is ahead of time. That's not going to go well. That goes back to the having sex for the first time on your wedding night. Exactly. That's exactly what this is. Exactly. I mean, imagine waiting your whole life and then the first time you have it, you're like, are you fucking kidding me? Exactly. This is what all the fuss is about.

Right. I mean, horrible. I feel sorry for people like that. Sometimes a lot of the foreplay and blowjobs and, you know, if these kids are doing anal versus vaginal, it's, there's a lot more work and process into that when they finally get to vaginal sex, if that's the thing they waited for, that could feel rather disappointing because you're probably talking, it's going to be a two pump chump.

And then it's over, you know, because some people here, I didn't grow up with religion at all, but some kids here, like, you know, when you hear of people that get married when they're 22 or 21, you immediately know they're virgins and they're, or they're already fucking and they, they have to get married immediately to acquiesce to the religious, uh,

stressors. And I'm just saying, we have a lot of international listeners that probably don't know this, but in the South where there's this like mega church culture, it is the shame with sex, with heterosexual sex, sex outside of marriage, and

Gay sex is, I mean, they hammer that shit like you would not believe. And I see it in my adult friends and I see it in like pumps and I see it everywhere. I see it in some of my kids that my teenage sons that have friends where these kids are just tortured by something that is so natural that we're hardwired to do. Okay. Had it or hit it. Kegels. I hit it.

Kegels are important. I agree. Pelvic floor. Yeah. We got to build the pelvic floor. I agree. I mean, some people have pain if they do too many kegels. But for many of us men and women, kegels are an important part of our... Those are the muscles responsible for orgasm. Strengthen them like you do your biceps at the gym, you know, do your kegels. Pumps, you should start doing some right now. How do you know I'm not? Okay. Had it or hid it, faking orgasms. I've had it.

It's not a good message you're sending someone. First off, they're thinking they're the king of the world. Like, oh my God, everyone's orgasming. No, that's not good. No, you got to be real. Prioritize your pleasure. What do you think the percentage of women that have faked orgasms is? I think it's very high. I think it's majority of women. I think nine out of 10 women have faked it. Yeah, I was going to say like 99.9%. Totally. Yeah. I believe that. And I actually, that's why I actually started my career the first...

Line in the book is essentially like I start, I faked orgasm. So I was 35. I was like, this is done. Like what? So you had had it, you had had it with that. I'd had it. You launched the career. Like no more faking of orgasm. Literally that about sex. Get out of the shame. I have fucking had it. That's it. That was my platform. Like no one fake. Oh, like if I was running for office, I like it. I like it. I think your, your messaging is so important because it's,

There is an increase right now, currently in 2023, there seems to be an increase in sexual shaming, both in the heterosexual community and in the homosexual community. Like in our state, they just made a total abortion ban, which is further shaming women and taking away their privacy. And so I think conversations like this need to be brought to the forefront because it's

The problem is, is it's typically a fever pitch minority that does this, but they're screaming a so fever pitch. But the majority of us, us, all of our listeners, all of your listeners, we're not wound up like a cheap clock. We're not just some handmade tail prudes that are scared to get laid or scared to talk about orgasms. And I think the majority of us are that. So we need to make our voices heard.

Absolutely. Thank you. I'm so glad you're saying all this. It's a good, great reminder for all of us that we really are in 2023. There's a lot going on, especially in America, where it is not voting well for women's pleasure and for women's rights and for feeling good in the bedroom. So yeah, thank you. This is- We're definitely going backwards in 2023. We are. Okay. Yeah. Had it or hid it, pubic hair? I'd hid it.

So you like, I'm fine. I'm fine with it too. Like we grew up, all of us are eighties girls. Yeah. So we were John Bon Jovi hair band. I mean, there was a time that kiss had nothing on me downstairs. Most of the men that are our age, like, cause now the kids and we have a lot of really young listeners. I mean, that's a full blown Brazilian. There's no pubic hair down there. Most men that I would say are 40 and over. They have this instinct like, Oh no, woman's got to have a little hair down there.

You know, like they it is a very feminine, like turn on for them to think about a woman having it doesn't have to be, you know, a full blown 1970s porn bush, but a little landing strip or some form of that this person has been through puberty. Okay, has a game for you now. Okay.

We have a game that we like to play. I'm sure you've played it before. Fuck, Marry, Kill. Okay. So we've got Army Hammer, Hugh Grant, Tiger Woods. Oh my God. Oh my God.

It's too early for that. Wait, this is hard. Fuck, marry or kill. Okay. Oh my God. I guess I'd marry Hugh Grant. Yeah. I would. I mean, he overcame his sex scandal pretty well. He did. Wait. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I guess I would kill army hammer and I would fuck Tiger Woods. Yeah. I think that's a good one. I think that is you. That's the exactly what I would have done. Five stars. Okay. One more. You're not off the hook. Not yet. Storm. Okay. Stormy Daniels.

Pamela Anderson or Queen Camilla. Okay. I would marry Pamela Anderson. I'm really into her. You guys see her book and her diary. She's working on herself. She's done the work. Yeah, I agree. I totally agree. And she's still hotter than a biscuit. So hot. I know. What's going on with that? Okay. So we, I would marry her. Wait, who's the other one? Say it again. Stormy Daniels. Stormy Daniels. I guess I would, I guess I would kill her. And I,

Oh, God. Wait, what's the other one? Oh, no, no. I guess I would fuck her. I'd fuck her. I'd fuck Stormy. I'd fuck Stormy, too. Yeah, yeah. I'd fuck Stormy. You guys put a lot of thought into this. We did. Gotta have a sex scandal behind it. So you're gonna kill Queen Camilla. The queen's going down. Yeah, the queen's going down. Same answers here. Same, exactly. Yes. Same answers here. They're very well-reasoned. They're very well thought out. You get an A-plus.

We love having you on. This is, I think, such an important conversation. And I commend you so much for normalizing this. And to all of our listeners who have grown up having sexual shame, please find your way to Emily's podcast. She's been doing it a lot longer than we have. She was on the ground floor podcasting. Yes, you were. Her book is fantastic. She sent us two copies and Pumps and I have been studying it.

I even highlighted mine, Emily. She did. Yeah, I've got my highlighter out. Listener, go to sexwithemily.com and find out more because this woman is onto something. She's liberating all of us from the shame so that we too can enjoy sex just like everybody else and not be a nut about it. Right. Like the Europeans. Like the Europeans. Yeah. Right. Exactly. I want to have more pleasure. That's true. And also, yeah, the book is Smart Sex.

You can buy it wherever you buy your books. My podcast is Sex with Emily, which I do twice a week on all your podcast platforms and also show us Sex with Emily. Emily, you are drop-dead gorgeous. Yes. Sharp as a tack. We absolutely love you. Loved having you on. Have a fantastic day. Thank you. You guys are fantastic. Thank you for having me. So much fun. Okay. Bye, Emily. So I bet men are kind of intimidated because- They have to. She's so good looking. Beautiful. I mean, completely sexually liberated. Totally. Totally.

Not a drop of shame. Nope. Not a drop of guilt. She is like, I am a woman. I have a clitoris. I have nerve endings. I have a vagina. I have tits. And I intend to enjoy them. Right. Zero guilt. Zero judgment. And I love this because, listener, I'm serious. Where we live in the whole southern states...

There is so much shame put around sex. We need to all change that form of indoctrination when you're indoctrinating your children, that feeling sexual pleasure is dirty because the damage from that is lifelong and it's massive. Yeah. I just think the, I can't wait to take the quiz or whatever her recommendations, the

I don't think I could think of 80. Like I would bet you out of the 80 that she has on her website, I could probably only identify what they were about five. Well, you're sexually anorexic. So it sounds like the only thing you could do is...

Put dildo on clit is maybe the only thing you might recognize. Okay, but how many do you think you could recognize? I mean, I haven't lived under a rock. I'm sure that... You think you could go... I bet you couldn't go more than 10. For sure I could go more than 10. You think? Okay, we're going to test that. Yeah, but I wasn't raised with all this religious shame. I mean, sexual shame like you. I know, but do you keep up with all the crazy stuff that kids are doing now?

I didn't know what... I hate to bring... Adults are having sex too. No, no, no. I know. But I didn't know what pegging was. I didn't know what a glory hole is. So I think I'm probably way on the Puritan list. I think so. I had it. I fucking had it. Fucking had it. Listener, send us a voice memo on our Instagram to be featured on our Thursday bonus episode. Sometimes we surprise you and we roll those in on Tuesday if we think they're particularly funny. Just to see if you're paying attention. Yeah. Yeah, we do. And you need to go give us five stars, write a review, subscribe, subscribe.

All that stuff. We will see you next Tuesday or Thursday. Or Thursday, Tuesday or Thursday. Or both. Both. I think it's not or both. It is both. It's both. Yeah. Okay. Bye, listener.

Pick up that glass of Pinot Grigio, your drink of choice, and come have some fun with us on Turtle Time. We're going to do more than just drink and party on this podcast, Mom. I know, I know. Okay, if you don't know who I am, well, I'm Ramona Singer, and that's my daughter, Avery. And you probably know us best from The Real Housewives of New York. And now you'll get to know us even better on our podcast, Turtle Time. Let's make more iconic moments together every Wednesday. It's Turtle Time. Follow

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