Deep Dive
Shownotes Transcript
So are we supposed to start the podcast? One, two, three. I'll tell you what. I'll tell you what. You are my friend. You are the absolute best. But I need to know what you've had it with, Pumps. What I've had it with is a disturbing trend I've noticed on the internet. Twinned. Twin. It's a twinned. A disturbing twinned. Trend. Trend. Which is...
mothers and daughters dressing alike. Now granted, they're little girls, like little girls and moms, but it's horrible. When our kids were little, they had like Laura Ashley mom and daughter dresses. I thought it was stupid then. I think it's even worse now. I've had it with the dressing alike. Sometimes you see like a dad and a son, but 90 times out of 100, it's women dressing like their daughters and I've had it.
Well, you know, this has just triggered a long age old resentment. And I've had it that I've had with you. Oh, what is it? For probably around 18 years or so now. Okay. What is it?
You used to put, Emily, your daughter in those stupid fucking bows that are the size of the kid's head. And you had this holder and it had just all of these bows and you put the giant bow on her head. And I do not like the little girl bowing.
bow culture where the head and the bow are the same size. I think it's stupid. I think you're somewhat of a hypocrite. No, I'm not a hypocrite because what did Emily do with that bow immediately? I know, but that didn't stop you. You still put them on all the time. I still put them on, but she wouldn't do it. She would look right at me with her evil eyes, rip it out of her head as I was saying, don't pull it. And she would rip it out and throw it at me. Which you deserve. Immediately. Well, I don't blame her. I
I mean, even... Yeah, but I wasn't wearing a bow. You're missing the point. Even two, she hated the bow. She wasn't going to tolerate that ridiculous look. And here's what's so great about all this is right now there's some hate listeners. Right. That are listening to this and they're saying...
They are just so negative about motherhood. Everything about being a mother is wonderful. It's so perfect. And you know what? They get so triggered. And you know who's especially going to get triggered? Are the moms on Instagram and TikTok that dress like their daughter. Like their daughter. And then they probably browbeat their daughter off camera to learn like about four, eight counts. Right. To put together to a little beat to then put on. Yes.
And I think, you know, what's so funny is y'all come at us all you want to. But why aren't we coming at these moms who use their kids as a prop to game Instagram for performative purposes when their kids are never seeing these posts? Right. Kylie just brought to our attention, listener off camera, we have like a viral video. And it's about where Olivia the caller and about three or four episodes ago, maybe five or six episodes ago is talking about
the Instagram mom culture where it's like, I'm so glad you chose me to be your mommy. Of course. Titty baby city came out. Of course. Pumps and I rip it. Kylie cuts it up, puts it on Instagram. And the comment section, you guys, is fucking gold. Yeah.
It just tells me they actually are trying to sell that shit. It is like, well, it tells you they've posted it. 100%. You're right. All it tells you is that they posted it. And some of the posts are like, I love being a mother and I love my child and you guys are just vulgar and negative and horrible. I mean, it's giving bully vibes. Fuck off. Here's what I have to say about that. Where's our button? Right here. Right here. Do it. Play it.
city. That's what we say to you. It's hilarious. It's so good. The people that have done these things, like we do have the shit that we rag on. Right. We'll just sit here and go, yeah, that was pretty stupid. So stupid. I mean, case in point was me arriving in South Africa using hashtag pinch me. Dumb.
Stupid, idiotic. I'm not getting triggered by somebody calling me out because I myself will join you in calling me out. But these butthurt titty babies on Instagram that take this non-deep stuff that we talk about and they make it like it's like all we're saying is, yeah, that's stupid. Those performative mother posts. And then they write like a paragraph essay response that.
To it, like it's some deep thing. And it's just the internet and Instagram is just not that deep. Well, and how about how much they love their children and how motherhood is the most perfect thing in the whole world. And it's like, cut me some fucking slack, please. I'm calling bullshit. I'm calling bullshit. I'm calling bullshit. Because I've been a mother. If you're writing a paragraph in response to anything that we put on the World Wide Web,
You have just owned yourself as being so triggered and such a titty baby. And an offender. And an offender. Yep. And an offender. I agree with you about the matching outfits. They're stupid. Also want to circle back to how stupid you were when you put those big bows on Emily's head. Full stop. Let me tell you what I've had it with. What have you had it with? Couples photos.
Oh, like the posed for their... Here's the deal. If you're a couple and you're out to dinner and somebody grabs your iPhone and they take a photo, that's not what I'm ragging on. Right. That's not it. I'm talking about you're engaged or it's your anniversary or you're just a couple, okay? And you call a photographer and you schedule a photo shoot for you and your significant other.
And we've all seen the tired poses that are done. Yes. Okay. You've got the guy standing behind you with his arms around and your arms around him and you're looking up and he's kind of looking down and it's like a cheek to cheek. And every time I see these, I cringe. I just, I just cringe at the staged couples pose.
photos. I want a more natural looking photo, but the staged professionally done photos of couples. Number one, I think they're dorky. I think it's total Gooberville. I've had it. I don't like the poses.
I don't like the stupid clothes they're wearing. I don't like them at all. The engagement photos, I think they need to cancel their shoots altogether. Well, I think everything's staged for Instagram. Like is any proposal now spontaneous? Is there any proposal now that the wife doesn't know about? Because we have to have 47 photographers, someone videoing for Instagram. The whole family has to be there. I mean, I don't feel like there's anything private anymore. Here's the deal. Here's what I want to know.
Is there, when you were engaged, did you take engagement photos? No. I would literally, I would, I do not like giving blood. I would sit here and give every amount of blood that I had. And I would just say, leave me only with the bare minimum to function, to have a
Your engagement photos. No, it never even crossed my mind to get an engagement photo. Did you get one? No. When did this start? The engagement photo? I think it started with Instagram. I think it's all started like, look how great my life is. I'm engaged to this wonderful person, which half the time it's like, is he that great? Is she that great? I mean, I'm glad you think so. That's important. But I don't think we need 27 posts about it. I mean, people get married every day. They get divorced every day. Let's circle back to the cheesy, like the way they're postured. Yeah.
You know what I'm talking about. You know Kylie, right? I've been in one before. With whom? An ex. Ana and I haven't done them, but she did tell me last week that she booked us a photo shoot. Oh my gosh. Shut up. Yeah. Is this where we're going to have to give an exemption to lesbians? Pause. Stop. We can't just let that slide by. Let's go back.
to the stage you called somebody or got on the internet with your ex-girlfriend and booked couples photos is that correct I did not but I was a victim in all of it and had to participate I had to yeah okay where are those photos now I'm gonna find them for you we gotta see those okay and then what were the poses
I remember one where we were laying in the grass in someone's yard and then like my arm was around and then the head was down on my shoulder. Nothing good. Nothing other than Cheesville, USA. Yeah. Okay, but hold on. You weren't engaged, right? No. So this was just, hey, it's Saturday? We weren't even dating a year. And then now Anna is just... How are you going to handle this with Anna? I'll send them to you. I'll print them.
I want one on your desk immediately. I'm going to make one my screensaver on my phone. Do you promise? Oh, 100% I will. You got to do better than going behind her and like kind of cheek to cheek, resting your head on her shoulder kind of thing. I'm going to do that exact one now. I think you should just, I think if you're going to do it, I think you lean in and do the cheesiest poses imaginable. I'm talking about you're both on your stomach and
hands up like this and your feet up and you're both looking towards the camera and then a kiss. I think you have to just go all in and you have to, and then like do the night in the 1980s. The big thing was you would take these family photos of you and your siblings and you'd all be positioned up a tree. Yes. And I think you should do the tree or a staircase. Yeah. Or a staircase. Can we do matching outfits? Yes. Oh my God. Go all chips. Here's the thing. Listener.
The only caveat to these is if you're going to do it, go all in. Own it. Don't try to act like, oops.
We just took an engagement photo and we're just caressing each other right now because everybody knows what happens when that camera goes down. Right. Everybody knows the smile immediately vanishes. Yes. And now, of course, some people are truly in love. There's just something about the whole process of you get engaged and then there's just this parade and this drumbeat of stuff that goes on. All these photos. Where I just envision...
one of the two people kind of feeling somewhat tortured by the whole process. And maybe that's projection. Right. I would feel tortured by the process. So maybe I'm assuming everybody would. Perhaps it's total. See, Josh and I would both feel tortured by it, which is why we've never done it. Never done it.
You know what used to be the biggest torture when it came to family photos was when you had to get all three of your rugrats or two of your rugrats together for a photo. I mean, by the end of the day, I was on suicide watch. I mean, I hated them so badly. They hated me so badly.
And maybe we got five or six good pictures. But Angie, motherhood is wonderful. It's so perfect. It's so wonderful. How could you ever say anything negative about your precious angels? That would be human. No, but we're perfect. You have to be a Stepford wife, especially on the World Wide Web. Motherhood is amazing. It's so spectacular. Full stop.
Family pictures with your children are so enjoyable. Put a fucking sock in it. All right, welcome to I've Had It. It's a show about motherhood and all the joys that it brings. I'm Jennifer. I'm Angie. She's the star of our show, Kylie. Hi. Hi. Engagement photo slash no engagement girl. Engagement photo. She referred to herself as a victim the first time around. See, that's honest. She said I was a victim. Yeah.
One could also say you were a willing participant. Semantics. Yeah. Yeah. Either way. Kylie, is there anything good anybody's written about us on the World Wide Web? Yeah. I mean, it's hard to choose from all the hate. You brought up the Instagram mom. Oh, yeah. Yeah. I'm going to read you a paragraph that was left on it. Okay, good. This is from Papadopoulos underscore. Why do you guys keep bothering people with kids? Yeah.
I see all these pages of just straight bashing parents, but I don't see any of the parents bashing non-parents. I don't see videos of people making fun of people for not having kids. Why are y'all so obsessed with people with kids? Can't celebrate our kids or highlight them because our happiness annoys you? Sorry, we're happy.
Okay, here, I'm just going to take a wild stab at it. What's her name? Papadopoulos? It's a man. Oh, it's a man. Okay, guarantee you, Papadopoulos, there is a one-month...
Photo with the blanket and it says one month, two months, two months, absolutely three months. And this is the deal. Papadopoulos, you go down this road of where everything's got to be fucking cupcakes and rainbows all the time. And somewhere along, it's just like a, you know, like all of this pressure, uh,
It's like a pressure cooker. Pressure cooker. All of a sudden, Papadopoulos is going to fucking pop at some point. And it's not going to be pretty. No. And we tried to warn you here. Get shit off your chest as you live. Live. Right. Experience joy. Experience irritation. Get it off your chest and move on. I've got one more. Okay. From Bubby28. And she writes, are y'all miserable? Do you need to be raw dogged? What?
That might be a valid point. It's a pretty good, it's a pretty good, pretty good. Bubby, that's a pretty good, that's a pretty good one. Yeah, I'll take that. I like that. I like that. That was pretty good. I mean, you know, here's the deal. We could get raw dogged 25 times a day, Bubby, and I'm still going to kind of have it with the performative mothering on Instagram. I think it's bullshit. I think defending it is indefensible.
And I think if that's what you do, like here's what we do. We get on the Internet. We bash it. People criticize us and we just take it. Right. We'd say we fucking take it. It's totally fine. So if your thing is I'm going to get on and I'm going to talk about my kids all the time and how perfect motherhood is. Just remember that there are some mothers out there that are struggling with depression, abusive husbands, depression.
kids. There's a whole plethora of shit. And all we're saying is we love our kids and motherhood has been awesome for us. But at the same time, we would be remiss if we didn't tell people it's fucking hard. And sometimes you want to pull your pubic hair out by the root one by one. Yes, absolutely. That is perfect summation of it. But there's no question pumps needs to be a dog.
You're going to say, I'm waiting. There's no doubt about that. But listener, let's just talk about how great.
Our little diamond looks. Shut up. She embarrasses me so bad. Why? You look so good. Thank you. Everybody's talking about it on YouTube. Thank you. Everybody's talking about, oh my God, pumps is so hot. It makes me happy because you are. Thank you. And you look so pretty. Thank you. So anyway, yeah, I embarrass you when I'm nice to you. I know. I'm saying I far prefer it when you're mean. You like it better when I browbeat you? Yes. It feels more comfortable. All right. All right. Listen up, listener.
It's a big day. It's a great day. It's a big day for big tits pumps. It is. I'm excited. Speaking of big tits. Yep. We got a big titty drag queen coming on. One of the biggest. One of the biggest. Tell her. Tell them pumps who's coming on. Katya. That's right. I mean, Katya is coming on. Let's get her on here.
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I'm good now. Well, good. I'm so happy to be here. You gals are everything. Oh, that's so sweet. I was just noticing you have the most gorgeous eyes. Oh, thank you. I was just in a fight with somebody about what color they actually are. I think they're green, but people say they're blue. Yeah, I say green. But thank you. Okay, good. That's good. So somebody was fighting with you about your very own eye color?
Yeah. Isn't that crazy? We were just talking about how crazy people were before you came on here, like particularly the toxic positivity crowd, you know, where I fucking had it. Oh my God. Titty babies. I've had it with these titty babies that everything has positive, positive, positive. One thing makes them uncomfortable. It is a stage five meltdown wherein they exude all this fear.
rage and it's like, how dare you fucking cut, not be positive. Usually I find that when people use the word toxic, it can, that tends to be a red flag about their own toxicity. I agree. Yes. Yeah. Yeah. I agree. Oh my God. Well, Katya, we, we have a, you know, a formula here. We want to be
cynical about as many things as possible during this hour broadcast so that when we go out into the world, we've gotten it off our chest and we can be positive and tolerant of other people's dysfunction. And so what we like to do right out of the gates is we want you to tell us what you've had it with.
Okay. Well, first of all, I think that your mission statement, as you just described, is so healthy. It's so fabulous. It's so necessary. So the main thing I've had it with is it's a toss up between body hair and wealth hoarding. Let's dive into body hair.
Okay, body hair, body hair. So I'm a drag queen, right? And I have to shave my face in order to do my job, which is to put on makeup to transform to look like a woman, you know. And it's just like, it's a Sisyphean battle. You know, like I have a lumberjack beard that grows in in a matter of like hours.
So like it's a race against the clock to shoot. As soon as I shave and put the makeup on, it's like there's a, you know, one of those doomsday clocks ticking. And the beard is coming in and I'm like, I fucking had it because I'm not going to get electrolysis. I'm not going to get laser because I actually want to keep a beard for when I'm not, you know, doing drag, which is,
quite frequent. And so like, it just, I've had it in the time spent, the pain, the, the money. I mean, people who shave their legs every other day or every day. No, it's like, yeah, it's so crazy. It's so crazy. Here's what I'm wondering about. How do you feel about men's back hair? I fucking had it. I've had it. I've actually had it with underarm hair on both men and women or everything in between. No, like I don't like,
I don't like back hair. I don't like armpit hair. I don't like hair on the toes. I don't like hair on the knuckles. I don't like hair in the neck. I don't like hair. I mean, pretty much like head, eyebrow,
you know, some kind of beardish, whatever, and then I'm good. Okay. A few episodes ago, pumps just found out for the very first time we were discussing bleaching assholes as responsible middle-aged women often do discuss. Right. She thought Katya, she thought,
Until like literally this episode that when I said bleaching assholes, she thought that they were bleaching the hair. I had no idea people bleached their assholes. She had no idea about the skin. You would be surprised. I mean, I wouldn't, I don't think it's totally unusual that she thought that because I mean, there's people doing a lot of weird stuff to their assholes, especially in Los Angeles.
Okay, so can you shed some light? So Kylie said she thinks her working theory is that your asshole starts off pink and then you shit and then you get a shit-stained asshole where it's kind of brownish. You don't think that's a good working theory? No, no, no.
Because if your hygiene is at such a measly state that you're not getting the shit off the top layer of your fucking skin, which leads me to back to the hair. Shave your motherfucking asshole. Yes. Shave your motherfucking asshole. Why would people bleach it when they could just shave it off? Why go through all the trouble?
It's not about vanity. It's about hygiene, comfort, and decency. It's about dignity. Exactly. Totally agree. I was at the lake not long ago, and this guy, he was pretty cute. We were all on the boat. We were like, yeah, he's pretty cute. He turned around, and I swear to God, it was gorilla fur at the back of his back. Oh, yeah, yeah. We were just like...
I mean, it was so shocking and we couldn't wrap. It was like, he's a gagger now. I mean, just so gross. I just, I do not like back hair on a man or a woman. Well, no, on a woman, it's great. Yeah.
But, you know, in the gay world, the trends have sort of loosened and kind of diverged so that people with a lot of hair can be appreciated. You know what I mean? Because for the longest time, it was like the chiseled, hairless Adonis. Right. You know, that was the ideal. But now there's no one ideal in the gay world, which is great. That is great. However, just generally speaking, if it's hammer time on your ass hair-wise...
It's going to be nasty. You have to wash and scrub so fiercely after you take a shit. It ain't worth it. It's not worth it. Here's what I just have a follow up question. I'm back to the bleaching of the asshole. I'm sorry. Have you ever bleached your asshole? No, because I've never done porn.
Here's the deal, Katya. I have no idea what my asshole looks like. And that's okay. Do you know what your asshole looks like?
Unfortunately, I do. And, you know, I'm just like, let's just say she's not going to be on the cover of Vogue. She's not going to be on the cover of Vogue anytime soon. But it was so shocking. I mean, not bad, but it was just like, I've never seen my asshole from that view as if I were, you know. So you just saw your asshole for the first time recently. Yeah, 41 years old. I've never.
I'm 49 and I'm thinking about doing a photo shoot later tonight, but I don't know if I should or not. I mean, I kind of want to know what it looks like, but then again, you go to the mall, you go to the mall, they have a nice little setup. You know, they have the soft lighting and the background. Another follow-up question. When you saw the image of your asshole, did you think I should get into bleaching or were you just kind of like, what, what was, what were the follow-up thoughts?
I was like, shock. It was like the stages of when you lose a loved one, you know, it's like, yeah, you're shocked. And then it's like, I think I reached the acceptance phase pretty quickly. And then I just noticed there was a pimple and I was like, you know,
It's just, I was like, I got to go get sun-kissed by Jenny, the spray tan lady down the street. No shit. Okay. So you had a bunch of like great random shit on your list that you emailed. And I made some more. I made a couple more just now. I just want to dive into the nuance of a few of these. Okay. And I just want to see why you've got such a bee in your bonnet about cordless vacuum cleaners.
Because they don't fucking work. They don't fucking work. They don't fucking work. They don't. I'm sorry. Listen, this is a hill that I will die on. I grew up, you know, with the, you know, you plug the cord, you got the bag. That's how I grew up with the vacuum cleaner. And then, you know, the Dyson came along and these other ones with the, you know, they don't suck up anything. I agree. They don't suck up anything. I went to the store and got one of these, it was
it was like fucking $800. All right. It was $800 fucking dollars, but she sucked up my furniture. Like it was crazy. Like it, the rug came, it was just wild. It works. And it, but you know, the, you gotta just, you gotta deal with the cord. Yeah. Cause I hate those cordless vacuums. They don't pick up anything. I've got two cordless vacuums and both of them sucked. It,
And the battery, if you put it on turbo, it lasts about 30 seconds. 30 seconds, yeah. And I'm going to say this with the cord. I'm going to say you can kind of get your right hand, if you're right-handed like I am, and get the cord. You can kind of hold it out, and you can vacuum to eight counts. You can five, six, seven, eight. And boom. And boom, yeah. It prance that cord. Production. Yes, you can totally.
get into it. You can work the cord, you can flip it around like a jump rope. There's just a lot of ways that you can work the cord. Yeah, I have local kids in the neighborhood involved. It's vacuuming. It's like you have to enjoy it. I love vacuuming. I love it. It's really satisfying. Okay, here's another one. And I totally agree with you on this.
Flowers as gifts. Hate. I hate. So I appreciate the sentiment always. Somebody's thinking about you, but let's take I'm sick. I broke my leg. I'm in a hospital. Do you think I want a fucking vase of flowers in my little room? No.
Do you think I want a vase of flowers? What the fuck is that going to do to me? Like, how is that going to make me feel better? You just spent $75 or $150 having somebody, you know, deliver a bouquet of flowers. Give me some, you know, give me like a Snickers bar or anything else. Like they just...
But there and then they die and then they smell like shit and you got to get rid of them. That's my problem is you get something and I immediately start anticipating its death. I do, too. Yes. It's useless. Totally. My birthday was a couple months ago and I got all of these flowers. My desk was full of all of these flowers. And I inherently thought because I have been.
indoctrinated that I'm supposed to like flowers and I stand against this indoctrination I think we should all stand against it because people are giving us a gift that is dying that has been murdered taken out of its natural habitat dressed up and then the next thing you know that motherfucker's dead and then really we're all been indoctrinated to believe that this is a good gift and we're calling it right here I don't like it the flower racket needs to end gotta end had it
And the thing is, that water starts stinking too after about two days. It's horrible. The smell of dead roses. I would rather sniff the shitty, hairy asshole of a dead body. Yeah.
I would rather. And also, I have a good friend of mine who's a florist. And I just hired him to send Trixie flowers. And she loves flowers. Oh, she does. She loves flowers. Loves, loves flowers. But imagine this. Instead of all those flowers you got for your birthday, what if they were the equivalent in dollar bills? See, I would do that. That's what I want. I'd rather have that. You know what? Stacks. Stacks. You know what? I'd rather have euros. Yeah. Or stacks. Fuck the dollar. Give me euros. Fuck the dollar.
Canadian quarters, anything. Totally. I'm international, baby. I want fucking euros. Isn't it funny though? Some people love getting flowers. It makes them feel so loved. But I remember when I was married, I would be like, do not send me $150 worth flowers. I don't want them. I'll go buy what I want. It's indoctrination. It's everybody's talking about indoctrination, but they're not talking about the right stuff.
we've all been indoctrinated to love flowers. We're supposed to love them. It's supposed to be the nicest thing. Here's the deal. It's not that creative of a gift. All you do is call somebody else arranges them and delivers them. You're not doing jack shit. And then you're sending somebody a gift that's dying and everybody's been indoctrinated that we're
all supposed to love flowers. And you know what? For a long time, I fell prey to this indoctrination. But I've been enlightened and I have woken up and it stops here. No more flowers. You're J-Dab. Yeah. You finally smelled the roses and it smells like shit.
Okay. I read some articles about you and you have, there's, we like to talk, we like to talk about all this petty shit because we're petty, salty bitches. There's no question about it. But we also have a side where we really take, you know, our politics very seriously and we see them as moral issues and not necessarily political. And you had a really good statement that you made about all of these morons that are obsessed with drag queens right now.
And it was something like stupid people making stupid laws about drag queens. And I think that is so simple. Yeah. I mean, I just, it's truly puzzling. And I think like there's this such a, such a bizarre combination of, of stupidity and ambition with these people. They're like, they're so fucking stupid, but they're so fucking motivated. Right. Totally. That's,
For a liberal person, it's kind of hard to understand.
I always equated stupidity or ignorance with like... Laziness. Inaction. Laziness, right, right. But these people are fully motivated by the Bible or whatever. Yeah. But never having read a damn page of it. And even then, it's like, okay, okay, whatever. It's just... It's true. It's really... It's shocking and it's... I guess it's not shocking, but it's sad and it's stupid. I think it's more stupid than sad. I think it's more stupid than sad, too. I think it's like you have...
They want to unify. They don't want to talk about guns because that's a multibillion-dollar industry. They don't want to talk about the environment and the fact that we just had the hottest –
summer ever and next year will probably be even hotter because there's billions of dollars behind fossil fuels and they don't want to talk about you know certain they don't want to talk about women's bodies because by God we're supposed to we live in an abortion ban state right now that's where I don't understand so like the the the
Absolutely bloodthirsty capitalism. I understand, you know, the not wanting to think about 100 years from now and focus on making profits today. I understand. But the women's bodies thing, the more the sexuality morality thing, I don't tell you why. Why? Okay, so I wasn't raised with religion at all. So I was zero indoctrinated. My parents were atheists. Okay, but I lived and grew up in the Bible Belt.
And these people that are raised and indoctrinated, that's where the indoctrination is. They're indoctrinated in this right wing form of Christianity. And the number one thing that they shame is sex because it's the one thing they can't control. It's a control thing because the one thing that religion picked to shame is the one thing
We're genetically encoded to do like I had a friend whose kids went to a Bible thumper private school and they told the kids at the school, if you masturbate, told teenage boys this, if you masturbate, that is from the devil. How fucking stupid is that to tell a teenage boy not to beat off?
I mean, so dumb. Yeah. I grew up Catholic. And, you know, it's funny, as my main I've had it, I was going to write the poem. Because because just for the reason you just described is that Catholicism in particular, you know, they they turn you against your body. Right. Like, you know, they turn you to be naked is to be ashamed. Right.
And it's fucked up. And talk about indoctrination. They are, I mean, they have a chokehold on the, you know, turning people against themselves and making them ashamed of them, whatever, whatever. And we all know that priests, I mean. Are the worst offenders. Worst offenders. I have a friend in Italy who's like, you would, you would die if you knew about the hooker activity at the Vatican. Yeah.
Like you have no, you have no idea. I mean, you know, it's probably all men. It's all men. But here's the deal. That's better than the fucking kids. Yeah. You know? Well, they're, yeah, they're fucking kids at the Vatican too. You know, they're nasty. Crazy. It's crazy. And they didn't have to be like this. Like before Christianity, I mean, you know, a thousand years ago where they were like, you know, uh, where it wasn't so male centric and like male dominated. It's like, God,
God, it's a bummer. We probably won't get back there. But yeah, you know, I think one thing I will give to the Catholics is that they did. St. Peter's Basilica is off the hook. The architecture is A+. The architecture and the art is fabulous. The kid fucking, don't love that. Not so great. No, the Catholics, the architecture, A+, the stained glass, A+, the mega churches, F+.
Architecture is terrible. Amphitheater. It is absolutely tragic architecture. You're going to church, you're going to see the Wiggles. Yeah, fuck Joel Osteen. I've had it with that motherfucker. Oh my God. Pumps, there is nothing worse in the morning than waking up
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Go to ZocDoc.com slash I've had it and download the ZocDoc app for free. Then find and book a top rated doctor today. That's Z-O-C-D-O-C dot com slash I've had it. ZocDoc.com slash I've had it. Okay, Katya, we're going to play a game with you called Had It or Hit It. Oh my God. Welcome to Had It or Hit It. I would hit it. Had it.
I hit it every day, sometimes twice a day. All right. Had it or hit it thin skinned people. I'm going to say I'm going to say hit it because I have become hardened over in cynical over time. But I have recently realized that I'm also I'm like bizarre. Well, not bizarrely, but I'm kind of thin skinned myself and sensitive. So I'm going to say hit it because I'm
I don't know. I know I'm not a sensitive snowflake, but, um, I like that. That's sweet. Yeah. And that you're sensitive. Yeah. And sometimes, sometimes it's like, although we can be like, yeah, I appreciate directness and all that stuff. And like people who have are decisive and don't, uh, you know, beat around the bush. Sometimes it's like, girl, don't be a bitch. Yeah.
We've been accused of that a time or two. Well, the first episode, when I found you guys months ago, I was like, I think that you described, you're like, toddlers are assholes. They are.
They are. They are. But they are. They are. They are. They totally are. I mean, it's just we approach life. I mean, of course, we've gotten older now, too. And Pumps is significantly older than me. Four years. That's not that significant. That's neither here nor there. But she already gets reach outs from the ARP. I have not for the permanent record.
But, you know, we've had toddlers and it's just, we have found that when you try to live this life in this veneer for everybody else, it's not sustainable. And we know people that tried to do that. And then the divorce and the relapses and everything happened in spectacular fashion. Yeah. It's just, it's not sustainable. Okay. Right. Had it or hid it, professional engagement photos, couples photos. Oh.
I have had it. Thank you. I've had it. Thank you. Because let me tell you something. It's like the flower thing. Why don't you take that money and shovel it into a furnace?
Because that would be a better use of that cash. Because you're going to hire some amazing photographer, find some overpriced location, get dressed up in some stupid outfit, and they're going to break up. You're not going to get divorced. It's all going to mean jack shit. Let's talk about the poses and the posturing. Oh, it's just like, just make a porno. Just make a porno. Yeah.
Get a grip. You can stay at that because that will endure. You know what I mean? Like, that will be like something useful for the rest of your life. But you know, you break up, you keep it in the vault. You watch it every once in a while. Like, oh, remember Jim? Remember Claire? Yeah. You like make a porno. Just, I've had it with that. It's stupid straight people stuff. Yeah.
totally agree not all straight people because our precious our producer is a lesbian and she just announced that she and her ex did a lesbian photo shoot well lesbians are exempt we just how about that we just recently modified we have this book here called the
The permanent record. And it starts off with things that we write down. Like the first one is that pumps is not a good pet owner. I am. Then I have one dog I hated. Another one is like, like you should never sit on the same side of the booth. And we browbeat couples that sit on the same side of the booth. We recently made a caveat and to exclude homosexuals, right? Homosexuals are allowed to sit on the same side of the booth, but if you're heterosexual and you're sitting on the same side of the booth, get the fuck out.
Get the fuck out of there. Yeah, because ladies need to finger bang each other and guys need to jerk each other off. That's the way it is. Okay. Had it.
Had it or hid it, Taylor Swift. Okay, so if you had asked me this maybe a month ago, I would have said I've had it. But I read that article, that piece about the guy in jail who, have you read it? I think it's in the New Yorker or the New York Times about this guy in jail who listened to, who basically, his love of Taylor Swift, like, it made me cry. It's crazy.
And I've like observed the chokehold that she has on the public consciousness. The fact that she sold out six or seven nights at SoFi Stadium in Los Angeles, like 80, 90,000 people a night or something. Yeah. I'm like, I don't, I don't, I don't listen to her music, but I'm like,
Yeah, I'm going to hit it. And I guess she's a very good songwriter. It's not – I listen to fucking shitty Russian pop music, so I'm not a great – I'm not – I don't know. Okay. But she's incredible. She's incredible. All right. Hat it or hit it, Rednecks. Oh, I –
I'd hit it because I myself am a redneck, like literally so pale and always put on sunscreen. And I, I don't know. I think like, I think it's, um, I know some like hillbilly type people who are not ignorant, you know, but they're just like,
They're, um, and they're not, you know, red state MAGA, um, uh, Bible thumpers. There's just a little country, you know, I'm kind of a redneck a little bit. Yeah. Yeah. Pumps is a little bit of a redneck. Yeah. And older. Yeah. I know a lot of people like, Hey y'all, y'all going to orgy tonight? That's me. I probably am kind of a redneck too. Okay. Last one. Had it or hid it posting the outfit of the day.
I've had it. I've had it with the phone. I've had it with social media. I've had it with like, I've had it with fit, abbreviating outfit to fit. Like, was that too long of a word? Too long of a word to say? Yeah.
nice fit what nice outfit bitch like I don't I just like I can't I don't know maybe I'm old and crotchety but I mean I don't look great in my fits but I yeah I don't I've had it I'm with you where we just railed on um uh mothers that do the school drop-off outfit of the day have you seen this
Crazy town. Oh, my. Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait, wait. Is it the child or their outfit? Theirs. The mother. The mother. Get a life. Get a life. Get a life. Get a hobby. They put school drop off look, L-E-W-K. And I'm like,
Oh, no. Yes. That makes me want to blow myself up. Oh, my God. Yes. No. The Instagram mom culture is horrible. Oh, see, we got to get off the phone. We got to get off the phone. Put the phone down.
Put yourself on a social media break. You know it's time when you're outfitting the day, your school drop-off look. That's your call. Yeah. Listen, I've had it with the phone in general, and I wish we could go back to the TV remote control was the TV remote control. The telephone was the telephone. And then I don't want to – and then in the car, the music player. I don't want the phone to be controlling everything in my life. Agree. Because that slippery fucking iPhone –
this is the second case I've cracked. It's driving me bananas. I wish we could go back to kind of like, you know, it's clunky, but it's just not living with that damn phone. A little separation, just a little separation. I agree. Yes. Yeah. It was great when we grew up because we,
Like we just, you just couldn't call your parents. They couldn't call you. You had to come home sometime before dark, which was rather ambiguous, you know? Right. You know, that was about an hour window that you could really push it. It was glorious. Yeah.
And how nowadays can you even conceive of like, how did we make plans and then follow through with them? Right. You know what I mean? Like, like meet me at the orange Julius in the mall at six. Right. And then you just did. Right. You just waited there until everybody got there. Yeah.
Yeah. And you just did. You remembered it. You didn't have to write it down or like, you know, I just had a vision. You know, it would be a great Halloween costume. Right. When you said orange Julius, I just remembered hot dog on a stick. Yeah. They had the primary colors and the hot dog on the stick. People wore those hats and it was like red, blue and green. Did you ever see that? Gotcha. No, the hot dog. Oh, it's fabulous. That's what we need to be for Halloween. We'll make Kylie be a hot dog on a stick too. Yep. Yeah.
Katya, I mean, this is so fun. I could talk to you for hours. You ladies are so awesome. And the best compliment I've ever received is when I discovered y'all. It was because a fan had said, this is the female version of Trixie and Katya. I was like, that is the highest compliment I've ever received. Oh, my gosh. When Trixie told us that, we were like, oh, my gosh, that is the highest compliment. Thank you. Yeah. You guys make me howl. Howl. And I love that you hate kids. I hate them. I hate them.
Fuck kids. Fuck flowers. Fuck the iPhone. Fuck it all. Fuck it all. Fuck it all. Turn it to the ground. Thank you so much. This has been so fun. Thank you ladies so much. Thanks for having me. You guys are the best. You too. Bye Katya. Bye. How about Katya? Love. You just took a huge hit off your vape. Listener, she's trying so hard.
Not to exhale. I totally bust. I can totally see it coming out. Can you see it now? No, but I saw like a big white pocket of vape in your mouth. Did you? Yeah. So you thought you bust me out? Let me ask you this. In an average episode, how many times do you sneak a vape hit? None. Not none. Bullshit. We have it on YouTube. Somebody spotted it. Maybe one or two, like when it was somebody else's podcast, but hardly ever ours because they're all recorded. Is that true? That is a lie. No, I try really hard. Bald face lie.
You definitely hit your vape during episodes. Then I don't even know it. Then I don't know it. Yeah. Because I'm very, I try to be really on the down line. I don't have a problem with it. No, I know. But I do try to be on the sly a little bit. All right. Let's get back to Katya. The best. Love. So fun. So fun. Like I want to like have a slumber party with Trixie and Katya, but then we all go to our own beds, but like have like joining hotel rooms. Make s'mores.
No, that sounds too ambitious. I'm talking like a four seasons, like they would bring us the s'mores. Yes. We fluff around. Yeah. Talk. Yeah. It'd be really fun. I love their podcast. I love their live show. I haven't seen the live show in person, but I've seen bits of it and it's fantastic. They're amazing.
Sometimes you have like when you're holding in your vape, you have that little... I blew out the smoke five minutes ago. She's the one obsessed with it. Can you hear it in her voice? The little croak in there? Yeah, the little smoker croak. It's not a smoker croak. It is. All right. Well, anyway, I think it's a huge...
We love Katya. Lover. I mean, we're hot shit if we've got Katya on. Totally. And I love drag queens. I love drag queens. I want to have as many drag queens on as possible. I do too. Because the more they, the mean people say they don't like drag queens, the more I want to have on. Yep. That's exactly right. Rebels. Totally. Okay. Um,
Go to Patreon, subscribe, hot shit tour, send us a voice memo via Instagram and pumps tell them. We will see you next Tuesday or Thursday or both. I'll tell you what I've had up with.
Jill was her best friend, her sister, her everything. But the sister bond was broken the day Wendy and three rescue dogs were found dead in a garage next to a toppled over barbecue grill.
Jill said accidental carbon monoxide poisoning killed her sister and the dogs. Detectives don't believe her. Police arrested Jill Blackstone for the murder of her sister. Investigators think it was staged to look like an accident. So what happened? A source has come forward with evidence never made public before, revealing the dark story of why Wendy Blackstone really died. Jill was a good producer. There's no doubt about that. But would she produce murder is the question.
Season 2 of Bad Bad Thing, The Blackstone Sisters. Available October 4th, wherever you get your podcasts.