cover of episode Southern ASMR with Jerry O'Connell

Southern ASMR with Jerry O'Connell

2024/2/6
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The hosts and guest discuss their annoyance with people who excessively film their surroundings, especially in public places like Beverly Hills and concerts, and the generational differences in this behavior.

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Listener, for this episode of I've Had It, we've partnered with eHarmony, the dating app to find someone you can be yourself with. Pops, what's going on out there on the dating apps? It's unbelievable how many people try to be something they're not on dating apps and

And what I love about eHarmony is it's real people for real relationships. You heard her, listener. That's why we've partnered with eHarmony because dating on eHarmony is different. eHarmony knows that to find something real, eHarmony is designed to help you bring out your personality on your profile with their unique personality test. They

They even highlight similarities with your potential matches. And that's when the magic happens, when you form genuine connections and authenticity leads to intimacy. Listener, give eHarmony a shot and get started with their compatibility quiz so you can find someone you can be yourself with. eHarmony, get who gets you. So we're supposed to start the podcast.

One, two, three. Ah, I love it. We're in unison now. That was maybe one of the best claps ever.

we've had on this podcast yeah i mean sometimes i suck at it that was a beverly it was because i'm looking at jerry and he's so gorgeous i was inspired you ladies as well i mean you work uh i guess it's a visual medium but i mean it is a podcast so it's audio but um you ladies are even i want to tell everyone listening watching you're even more beautiful in person you really are beautiful that's so sweet see we blame kylie all the time because people be like you're

You're cuter in person. I'm like, Kylie makes us look bad on purpose, I think. Yeah. Don't you think? Yeah. Well, I think that's also part of your appeal as a podcast is that a lot of people, and I am on a lot of them, do podcasts and they do them in their...

In their pajamas. Not even underwear would be better. Like just pajamas. And you ladies put yourselves together. It's nice. And that's why I also stepped it up a little bit. You rose to the occasion. I like it. You wore a suit. A nice green suit. I like it. All right, listener, we're coming to you from California because we're hot shit. I don't know if you'd heard that. Right.

Jerry, and we have Jerry O'Connell here with us today. But what we have to do first is, Pumps, tell us what you've had it with. Okay, so what I've had it with, we were just talking about Beverly Hills. And we're walking through Beverly Hills yesterday. And these people are holding their phones, videoing the whole street, and they're like,

Like can't even walk or enjoy what's happening and i've had it because i'm like who the fuck is watching this No one no one wants to see you walking down the street in california. I mean, it's just not interesting at all Didn't you think it was bad? It's it's abuse by tourists, right? And then they're in your way and sometimes it's a full ipad and they walk and they're just filming as they go and they've got you In it and then I always think who's watching this at a later date. No one it's uh

It's so crazy. I'm actually going to put on my I've had it voice. Is that okay? Yeah, please. I've had it. You guys are always whispering like it's a secret. I don't want your parents upstairs to hear you. I've also had it with people continually filming, especially if you go to a show, a concert or something. I'm like watching people.

videotape this entire show and they're watching a concert through their phone. I hate it. And it's insane to me. And some people, I've even seen them

turning around from the stage that they bought the tickets for and filming themselves with the band in the background. So they're watching a concert through their selfie lens of them mouthing lyrics in front of the Eagles singing. I will say this. My wife and I went to what they call a yacht rock concert. So it was like Kenny Loggins, Michael McDonough,

Oh, love. Christopher Cross, sailing. Oh, my God. He's on my playlist like five times. I know. It's great. I love him. It was such a great concert, and it was all of them. And it was so funny. There was a group of ladies in front of us who were my wife and my generation. And they were drunk and dancing, and it was so much fun. And my wife whispered to me, hey, what do you notice? What do you notice about those ladies?

And I was like, they're drunk. And she was like, no. And I was like, they're partying. They look like they're down to party after the con. Like what? I don't know. And my wife said, none of them have their phones out. Exactly. And it's a generational thing. None of them have their phones out. I want to say something else about this now that you've really got me going because I have had it with this.

The great thing about my generation is we had a roll of film with 35 photos on it. That's right. So if you went to Disney World, okay, with your family, let's say your mom brought two rolls of film. So you had a total of 70 photos from a four-day trip to Disney World. Right. Your mom made damn sure when...

a picture was being taken, it was going to be worth something. Fucking Goofy was going to be there. Mickey was going to be there. It was going to be in front of a castle. It was not just going to be some bullshit of you walking down some hallway of just endless, endless footage. Right. And this all started when people got VHS cameras. Yes. Because they were like, I have an uncle who...

went to Greece with my aunt and my cousin. I can't believe I'm calling out my uncle, but I'm pretty sure he doesn't listen to the I've Had It podcast. But they took a ferry from one Greek island to another, and he sat us down after their trip, and we had to watch a video cassette of the whole fucking ferry ride. And I was like, what?

It's horrible. Nobody is taking into account the feelings of the viewer. Right. You know, that's what's lost in this. They're selfishly taking this video and they never think, is my viewer going to enjoy this? And the answer is a resounding no. The viewer is not going to enjoy it. Because how many years ago was it that you saw this video to Greece? 30 years ago. And you're still not heard of it. Yeah. I want that time back. I still don't have that time back.

You know, we were also talking about social media and it's sort of how I address social media. A lot of people like take videos and, you know, do live streams and all that stuff. I'm really just about one image, like one image. And I know that makes me old and of a different generation. But take an image, make it a good image, make it worth my time and then post it or send it to me. That's it. Right. Take into account the feelings of the viewer.

Exactly. You are correct. I've had it with people walking around, especially with iPads. iPads. That's even worse. That's a bigger offense. It's embarrassing. I'm embarrassed for them. Let me tell you guys what I've had it with. Oh, here we go. So there's always this question, who inspires you? And when somebody asks you, you start thinking, okay, I've got to look really good here. I'm going to pull out somebody smart, maybe a civil rights activist, maybe RBG. Right.

And I was thinking about this because somebody recently asked me that. And I thought, we're thinking about this all wrong because people are profoundly disappointing. And anytime you have an expectation of another human being, you're going to be disappointed. And I think who we should look to for inspiration are dogs. They are consistent. They are consistent. I could see my dog

I could be gone for 10 days, come home, and I'm going to be met with enthusiasm. If I'm gone for five minutes and come home, it is the same level of enthusiasm. And I don't know one human being that has that level of consistency. Do you all? None. None. The family members in my life...

actually greet me with disdain. They're angry when I come home. If I'm on a trip, my wife looks at me like, oh, he's back. Yeah. Things are about to be way worse. What about your dogs? Oh, the dogs are the best. See? The dogs are the best. You know, my wife is out of town. My wife, Rebecca Romijn, beautiful woman. Right. Gorgeous. Look her up. We're married still somehow. Yeah.

But my wife is out of town working, and the dogs have been sleeping with me, and they really – it's really fun. I'm really into it. I read a study that if you sleep with your dogs, you're less depressed and you live longer. Yeah. Is that right? Yeah, it's true. The benefits of canine love are – Oh, man. It's just the science is really backing it up left and right. I knew walking with your dog was good. You know, it's funny. My wife –

How do I say this? I'm not allowed to touch her when we sleep. There can't be any skin to skin at all, which is different. I appreciate that. Yeah. I thought for sure when I eventually got married, I would, you know, as a teenage boy, lay in my bed and think to myself, I can't wait to get married so I can always feel the touch of a woman's skin against my skin, you know, my hands, my feet, just spooning with a woman. Yeah.

I yearned for it. I dreamt about it. And then here I am coming up on 20 years into a relationship and not allowed to touch my wife in bed. It's... I get that. I get that, too. I'm kind of on her team. I'm kind of team Rebecca on this. I am, too. I am. Which is going to get me to my first thing that I've had it with. That's it. I'm going to do it in your voices. Okay, do it. You know what I've had it with? What?

I've had it with people you live with who complain about your snoring when in fact they themselves snore quite loudly. They are the offenders. They are the offenders. Yeah. So they probably shouldn't be the ones casting stones. I just saw on the internet, somebody said that snoring is like flexing that you're a good sleeper.

Oh, so like good sleeper snore? No, it's like, look at me. I'm asleep. Look how great I'm sleeping. It's like flexing and then the other person is tossing and turning away. So are you in a roundabout way accusing your wife of being a snorer? My wife does snore. Saws logs, actually. But I do know I am a snorer because I actually have woken myself up. Woken yourself up. Yeah.

I mean, this is so embarrassing, but I'm probably in need of like a CPAP or something. Right. Yeah. Now they're not as – I've heard that now they're not as loud or cumbersome. I don't know what the deal is. I know, but like I talked to you earlier about not being able to touch my wife. If I have to put an apparatus on my face, I'm never going to – there's going to be no – It'll never happen again. It'll never happen again. It's over. I mean, let me just ask you ladies, like has –

A man ever put a CPAP on his face and you thought to yourself- I'm going to jump his bones. Right. Never. I really want to give him a blowjob for sure. Get that CPAP machine. I'm turned on. I mean, it's bad enough. I've been told I grab my teeth, so I have to put something in my mouth. Oh, the mouth guard? Yes. I have to sleep with a mouth guard, and that already inhibits a lot of chances. I don't think you're going to get laid. Have you tried the tape stuff? The strip? What's it called? The no strips. Breathe right? Yeah, maybe I should get those. Hey, guys, tell me when we start the show, because that would be too-

Kylie, are you ready? Do you suffer from having a parasocial relationship with two barely competent middle-aged women?

If so, please go to I've had it podcast.com or to any social media site. I'm talking X, formerly Twitter, Instagram, TikTok, et cetera, and click the link in bio and come see us at the hot shit tour. Make your parasocial relationship real at the hot shit tour. Right pumps. Tell them it's so fun. We hope to see you there.

Listener, for this episode of I've Had It, we've partnered with eHarmony, the dating app to find someone you can be yourself with. Pops, what's going on out there on the dating apps? It's unbelievable how many people try to be something they're not on dating apps.

And what I love about eHarmony is it's real people for real relationships. You heard her, listener. That's why we've partnered with eHarmony because dating on eHarmony is different. eHarmony knows that to find something real, eHarmony is designed to help you bring out your personality on your profile with their unique personality test. They

They even highlight similarities with your potential matches. And that's when the magic happens. When you form genuine connections and authenticity leads to intimacy. Listener, give eHarmony a shot and get started with their compatibility quiz so you can find someone you can be yourself with. eHarmony, get who gets you.

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Because when every second counts, count on ADT. Visit ADT.com today. Can I get into another? Yeah. I've had it. I mean, I'm here. Go, go. I've had it, and this is going to cut a little deep, everybody. Okay, good. But I've had it with people asking me to play pickleball with them. That makes me so happy. So let me tell you, Jerry, as a pickleball player. Oh, I know. As a gold medalist.

As a champion. Gold medalist. Whoa, is this not a living? It's a pipe down. Thank you. The details don't matter. It was a gold medal. They gave you a gold medal at Chicken and Pickle. They did. At Chicken and Pickle in Oklahoma City. But a medal is a medal. Yeah, but Lindsey Vonn is a gold medalist. We're not talking about Lindsey Vonn. Okay, we're talking about Jennifer Welch. Makes me so happy. The Pickle and Chickle, what was it again? Chicken and Pickle. Chicken and Pickle. Okay, here's the thing.

I, as a pickleball player, I don't want other people coming to play pickleball because then I won't be able to reserve a court. And courts are very hard to get. Furthermore, I don't want to play with pickleball players that are not at my level.

I don't want to do on-the-job pickleball training. I don't want somebody who's a lot better than me to come out and kick my ass. So I agree with you on your I've had it because the pickleball community needs to keep the outsiders out and stop recruiting people in. It needs to be more exclusive. Yeah, it needs to be very cult-like and exclusive. It kind of is. Have you played? I have played once. Are you going to get in? No.

I'm okay. It's a little bit of an annoying game because it's a game where like an elderly woman with not one but two new hips can fuck you up. Totally. And it's frustrating to me because in any other athletic – I mean let's just say –

This is a bad example, but if I were to fight this old lady, I would win. Right. Totally. I could kill her. I could take her life away. Right. But in pickleball, she owns me. And so it's not fair. It's not a fair game. It's debilitating. So over Christmas break, my husband, who's a really good tennis player, really good pickleball player, he and I go up to Chicken and Pickle.

The venue of our gold medal, laugh all you want. And we play these two women and they're probably 75 each. We got our ass handed to us. They fucking killed us. And so Josh, my husband immediately was like, let's play them again. We play them again.

We get our ass beat again. And he can't stop at this point. He can't stop. He wants more. He said, let's play them again. Wow. We play them again. And each time our score decreased even more because they were like a smartphone. They were intuitive. They were like AI. They totally, they adapted to everything. They knew what to do. They picked on me. I was the weaker player. Yeah. Oh, wow. Strategies. It's really, really, there's a lot of, uh,

at a pickleball court. Yeah. Can I tell you something else I've had it with? Yeah. I'm going to do it in your voice. I've had it with podcasts where the podcasters feel the need to scream and raise their voices. You know, I'm realizing sitting here across from you guys, a big part of why we all listen to you is it's like an exercise in ASMR. Yeah.

Whisper and talk, and it's so relaxing. Yes. And we don't yell. The Southern voice, yeah. But there's also something about like the secret to it as well. Yeah. And I'm loud.

I don't know why we are kind of quiet when we podcast. I think it's because you've always told me how loud I am, and I get in front of the microphone, and I think, oh, my God, I'm going to be so loud. You're overcorrecting. Yeah, I'm overcorrecting. I'm making you a better person. Maybe that's just another example. Do I sound sexy? It is. I hope that I realize we're in the workplace. It's arousing, yes. It is. I'm feeling some blood flow.

I mean, I don't want to get in trouble here, but yeah, it is. I like that. Yeah. I've never been told that before. That we're quiet? Yeah, that A, that we're quiet and arousing. You wouldn't even believe how long it's been since I've gotten anybody's blood to flow. Okay, Jerry.

Jerry, we have to talk about some of the other grievances that you've been texting to Kylie. What the fuck's going on with your Android? Why do you have an Android? Well, why don't we pose it as part of the podcast? You've had it with? Androids. Androids. Had it with the green text. The Android is the skunk at the garden party. Every time you've got a group text going, everybody's blue. Everybody's jamming. Everything's great. And then some skunk.

at the garden party rolls up with this green bubble and it deactivates all the apple features. - Yes. - And I've had it.

I can't fucking take it. And then we text you and it's the green bubble. And I was like, how could somebody with that great a hair? Yeah. How could somebody with a head of hair like that? It's amazing. How could somebody with that kind of hair have an android? Roll out with a green bubble. What do you have to say for yourself? First of all, this is...

The most passionate I've seen you two ladies. And you've been angry about a lot of things. I should tell you also, my wife, who I sound like Borat here, my wife. Also, no one in my family has an Android. They all have Apple products and they hate me for it. Yeah. And it's a point of like the snoring, the no touching during sex. Yeah.

The mouth guard, the CPAP, all of it, those are hateful traits that I have, but it's the Android that really puts it over the edge. I'm going to tell you why I do it. I do it now because everyone tells me to not have it. That's what I was going to say. And I just...

Everyone I work with also hates it and complains about it, and it's like the butt of jokes and all that. And now I'm doing it almost as a dare. Right. I not only... I had one specific brand of Android, and I was going to get a new phone. I was able to trade it in at my cell phone provider. And literally, I was driving there, and I was like, all right, I'm just going to get an iPhone and just get this over with just so everyone stops picking on me. And...

I said to myself, no, I'm going to get a different kind of Android just to spite them all. And I do want to tell you something that's great about having an Android, okay? But a majority of people who text me, I don't want them texting me. There's one more barrier. And that goes for, I mean, I guess not my kids, but it definitely goes... I love everyone I work with, but like their work texts, I don't care about. Like, it's just like, we're so...

What's the word I'm looking for? Over-communicative. Yeah, but we're like available to everyone. Right. Yeah, I hate that. And you know what? Having an Android makes me one step closer

away from being totally available. Like just one more step they have to go through. It's a rebellion. It is. I'm going to tell you something. Um, if you sent me like, uh, Hey, uh, this is where you're going in Beverly Hills. Please, please confirm. You're looking to see those like dots come up where like I'm writing something, the ellipses, you know, and if I have an Android, you don't, you don't get those. Like it's, um,

It's just... A layer of mystery. Am I a contrarian? Is that what I am? Yeah, I think you're a provocateur. I think you're an asshole. Yeah. And I don't think you're taking into account the feelings of the text receiver. I think you enjoy it. I think there's something sociopathic about this.

I do. Look at the joy. Yeah, look at him. He's just grinning. Look at the joy on his face. And he's talked about my kids hate it and he's grinning from ear to ear. My wife hates it, grinning from ear to ear. And then it goes on to humanity at whole hates it. Yeah. Oh, you know what? Does it make me – because I'm really obsessed with this. Does it make me less attractive because I'm not – like I don't have a fancy iPhone? Or does it make me – does it like –

kind of like make you crazy that you can't like get right in touch with me. There's a little bit of mystery to it, I think. I do think it's kind of like, it would be like you're kind of having a sexual fantasy about fucking a nerd. A total dork. That wasn't what I was looking for. Okay. That wasn't...

But I don't do it because I'm one of those people who says like, oh, Android has better phone services. I prefer the app usage and the screen time, the battery saver. I don't know about any of that. You're doing it to be an asshole. I'm doing it.

And I'm being serious here. Present company excluded. I do it because I like to make it just a little more difficult to get in touch with me. I kind of admire that. I think that's a good reason. Now I'm going to call a little bit of bullshit on that. Okay. Okay. Because I have to let the listener in on one thing I liked about you from the jump. From the jump. You message our pod. Oh, yeah. You just give Kylie, our producer, your cell phone number. There's no representatives. Kylie's like, Jerry O'Connell gave me a cell phone number, so I'm going to contact him.

So then we were going to do the Zoom with us in Oklahoma City and you in California. Oh, that's right. Then we moved it to we're going to be in California. And we had failed to kind of set this date. So I was like, we've got to figure out our California schedule. And I was like, Kylie, what's that Jerry O'Connell's number? She gives it to me. I call you blind. You get a random Oklahoma City 405 area code.

I'll be damned if you didn't just pick up the phone. Hello? We were dying. He goes in blind? He goes in blind. He's like famous. It could be a million people. You just answered it. And I was like, hey, Jerry, it's Jennifer and Pumps with I've Had It. He immediately is like, I'm in the car with my teenagers. Don't say anything bad. I love that.

Oh, yeah. No, well, sometimes, you know, I didn't want anyone to say anything crazy, you know, since my kids are there and they all tell everyone. That's amazing. I was mystified that you, because we will not go in blind. That's what we call going in blind. When you just see the number, you don't know who it is, and you just went in blind and answered the phone. Yeah. You know, it's funny. I do pick up whenever anyone calls. I have no problems, really, if I don't want to talk to someone late and just

Saying, I gotta go, I can't talk now, and just hanging up, and then blocking them. We're pretty good at that, too. But...

I don't know if I knew it was going to... There's no way I knew it was your number, right? It didn't come up. You had Kylie's number, but you didn't have hers. You didn't have ours. Yeah. I mean, we loved it. We were like, oh my God, Jerry O'Connell answers. He goes in blind. Yeah. He went in blind. He went in blind. On his Android. On his... You go in blind on an Android. I tell you, the Android is super good. It says spam risk sometimes. Let me tell you, there's some high-tech stuff about...

Wow, we should have an Android pickleball tournament. Oh, yes. Now, then you support an Android. All right. I want to talk about the Alaska Air. Right. I wrote to you –

I've had it with doors flying off of airplanes mid-flight. I've had it with that. What would you do? What would y'all do? You know, the craziest part to me... Wow, it's amazing how I start to whisper more when I'm on your show. It's just... This is what's... It's really good for me. People normally say, like, he's too loud. Right. Like, that's a comment I see a lot. Like, why is he screaming? I get that all the time. This is actually great for me that I'm here with you guys. The funniest and...

Is it funny? Yeah, no one died. I'm allowed to say that. The funniest thing about that is watching passengers with a door off and someone's taking cell phone footage and passengers just sitting there. Like, I would be...

Screaming. Screaming? Yeah, totally. Saying, you will pay for this. Someone is going to pay for this. I'm not okay. Totally. And they were just like sitting there like it was like any flight going, landing into like Denver International Airport, like nothing was happening. I would have been like, ah, I'm not going to scream because we whisper on your show. I would have been like, ah, ah, ah, ah.

Oh god! Let's have someone who's sexing me, I don't wanna die! Let's go about it! I need the fuck, I need the fuck! I'll die! Fuck you! Oh please lord! Please lord, I'll do anything, I swear to god I'll never jerk off again! I have no more stem on porn, I swear to god! Oh god! Oh god! I'm pulling out my dick!

I don't care. Fuck you, Captain. You suck. This is how life sucks. Get cool. Give me a Diet Coke, motherfucker. That's what I would have been like if I was on that flight. That's what... I can't believe they're all just sitting there. My stomach hurts.

My abs are going to be better after this, Jerry. Oh my God. That's so true. It's so true. It was so quiet. It pissed me off how calm they were. Yes, they were calm. It's so infuriating how pulled together they were.

I would have been meltdown city. Because that's what you would do. It's infuriating. That's a normal reaction. That's exactly what you would do. You'd be freaking the fuck out, begging, negotiating every fucking thing you could possibly do. Yeah. No, it's crazy. It's infuriating how calm they are. Yeah, it is. It is. And the guy with the phone, I'm just like, what the fuck is wrong with him? Crazy. I mean, I'm glad he did it, but. Oh, yeah. I mean, we all are.

So, yeah, I've had it with them. Do you feel better? Or do you got to be loud? I do. I do, yeah. I mean, I'm still, my stomach still hurts. I will tell you on the flight out here, like three times, I reached over and touched her seatbelt. Because I always think the seatbelt thing is bullshit. Those people were in the seatbelt and they didn't fly off. She did. Or fly to LA. She goes, is your seatbelt tight? I look.

I looked over, I never go, why do you care if my seatbelt's tight? She goes, oh, because those passengers didn't fly on the plane because it was tight. It was tight. I was like, can I get out? It's true. I tied the shit out of that plane after that seatbelt because I'm like, she's right. They stayed. But what about the guy who's just like right there? And he's just like. Staring forward. I think he was watching a movie. How do you do that? Insane. How? How?

Insane. I don't know. I don't think there's a bottle of Xanax big enough. No, I would have been a meltdown. Oh, Xanax fentanyl. Like straight. No way I could be that calm. Concentrated fentanyl. Yes. No, it was bad. There's no way you could be that calm. Yeah. None. So actually, not only have I had it with...

Sorry, let me get back into my voice. Okay. Not only have I had it with like doors flying off of airplanes mid-flight, but I've had it with passengers who aren't freaking out about doors flying off. That's the had it. That's it. That's the more egregious violation. Yeah. That's it. You know what it was? It was a had it within a had it. It's a double had it.

It's a very nuanced attitude. It is. Very nuanced. We got deep here, ladies. Really deep. What about the people that have diarrhea on the planes and the plane have to be evacuated? What do you think about that? That's, I mean, I think everyone, that's not like a, that's not like a, everyone's had it with that. I wonder, have we had it with passengers? So funny air travel these days. It's actually, it's like, it's, it's almost like volatile, like flying now. Like I'm like,

I listen to music when I get on a flight. Right. Because I really need to block out the – it's funny. I remember I went to an airport once and I was high. I was on drugs. And I was walking through an airport and because I was high, I was really able to see how stressed out everyone is at an airport. And I had earphones in and I was listening to some Michael McDonald, you know. Wow.

And, you know, shine sweet freedom, shine a light on me. And I was feeling myself and I've just, I got my roller and I'm walking to the airport and everyone is so stressed in an airport. And it's stressful flying. It really is. It is stressful. It's like you have to go through security. You have to like, once you're there, there's...

A gate, you have to fight for overhead space. You have to fight. I mean, it's like Black Friday trying to get into a Walmart to get that flat screen. Everybody's unhappy. And just to shove your bag up there, you know, no one wants to gate check their bag. I mean, people are weighing their bags. People are pulling underwear out and stuffing it in their pockets. It's...

There's nothing fun about it. No. There's lines. Tens of lines. Screaming children. Screaming children. Unmedicated children. Unmedicated children. Yeah. We would always, just a little trick to our listeners, a little mom hack. Oh, boy. Dose your kid up with Benadryl prior to a flight. You know, we should say, like...

Don't, anyone listening, don't just drug up your kid's podcast. I mean, Benadryl's good for allergic reactions and stuff. Not just like, let's shut the kid up. Let's give him some Benadryl. But we did try that once. And it's so funny. It had an adverse reaction to my child. They like almost like, you know how some people, this is going to be really dark now. You know how some people take Benadryl?

What's the sleeping pill? Ambien. Ambien, but they stay up and then have a euphoric sexual experience. Yes, yes. And I'm not making a joke. I haven't experienced that. I just, I take an Ambien. I really want to, it's usually because I want to go to sleep, you know, and, but I think Benadryl had that.

This is getting really weird because now I'm comparing a euphoric sexual experience with like drugging up my kids to go on a flight. How do we get here? But it had like an adverse reaction to my child who like my child actually like acted like an insane person on a flight, which is I have to say I did have I have two children who are.

teenagers now, but when they were younger, we had a couple of flights that were like, we couldn't shut them up. And so I do, I actually feel, I feel sympathy for parents who have those kids. Cause I've literally, you're just walking up and down the aisle with this kid who's screaming like on, on drugs. And it's just, I'm just like literally looking at everyone and I'm not even saying I'm sorry. I'm just saying like, you don't have to live with this person. I'm not a poly, you, I live with this person. I live with her every day.

I live with her. When this flight lands in three hours, I know you're glaring at me, but you go somewhere else. I'm this person. I'm legally bound to stay with this person. And then you're like hoping a plane door flies off of that thing and just like get everyone's

Take them out. Head in a different area. Everyone can just relax and let a plane door fly off so they can sit in silence. They're more relaxed when a plane door comes off than they are normally. It's crazy. Let's talk about Jane Shorts. Yes. That was another I've had it. I sent to you. Um,

I have teenage daughters and they have teenage friends and they wear very short jeans shorts. That's the style these days. Like the Daisy Dukes. Daisy Dukes. Correct. Daisy Dukes where you can see – I've had it with –

Daisy Dukes, where a portion of the buttocks is also coming out of the bottom of them. That is too short. It's too short. You have to be able to feel the air. There's no way you don't know your ass is hanging out. I find it gross. It's gross. Even if it's a great ask, I'll give a pass. But even then, I mean, I understand if you're an exotic dancer or you're maybe doing a photo shoot for a magazine that shows sexy people.

But it shouldn't be like worn on the bus. I agree. Totally agree. You're actually looking for, I think you're looking for a reaction, you know? Right. By the way, I have had to tell my children absolutely not. Right. And then you feel bad because you feel like an old person. Yeah, right. Where you're like, these kids today with their clothes and, you know.

You know, listen, I'm okay with a tube top. I love a tube top, you know? Right. I love a pair of booty shorts. That's what we called them back in our day. Yeah. But like it's the showing of – it's the buttocks showing that's like too much for me. Right. Well, because you know in just one inch and a little bit of a lean sideways, the whole banana is hanging out. And by the way, those shorts were made by the wearer. Like you didn't – like I have caught –

My children with scissors operating on a pair of Daisy Dukes. Yeah. We know dating isn't easy, and that's why we partnered with eHarmony. Because dating is different on eHarmony. They want you to find somebody who gets you, someone you can be fully comfortable with. Their compatibility quiz helps your personality come out in your profile, which makes all profiles on eHarmony way more interesting and way more fun to read.

So give eHarmony a shot. Get started with their compatibility quiz so you can find someone you can be yourself with. That's what true connection and compatibility are all about. Being seen, heard, understood. And that's why more people are turning to eHarmony. Finding someone who gets you is hard, right? Well, that's because we're human and there's a lot of different humans out there. That's why eHarmony helps you bring out your personality on your dating profile so you can meet someone you can be fully yourself with.

And when you match based on personality, you're already one step ahead when it comes to meeting someone who gets you. So if you're searching for someone you can be yourself with, try eHarmony. Take their compatibility quiz to get started today. eHarmony. Get who gets you.

This episode is sponsored by ADT. ADT knows a lot can happen in a second. One second, you're happily single. And the next second, you catch a glimpse of someone and you don't want to be. Maybe one second, you have a business idea that seems like a pipe dream. And the next, you have an LLC and a dream come true. And when it comes to your home, one second, you feel safe. And the next, something goes wrong. But with ADT's 24-7 professional monitoring, you still feel safe.

Because when every second counts, count on ADT. Visit ADT.com today. All right, we have to play with you. Oh, yeah. Had it or hit it? I love it. Oh, my God. Welcome to had it or hit it? I would hit it. Had it.

I hit it every day, sometimes twice a day. So we understand that you are, you're not a full, you're not a real American, right? I have two citizenships. I have an American citizenship and I have a British citizenship. I love that. My father's English. Where we live deep in...

a red state. Sure. They like to talk about real Americans versus fake Americans. Yeah. So I thought it'd kind of be fun to call you a fake American. Okay. I mean, yeah. On brand. I mean, I was bored in the United States, but yeah, I mean, I could understand how I'm- Do you have two passports? I have two passports, yeah. That's really, I love that. And to be British would be amazing, I think. Can you do a great British accent? Right. Yes, ladies, I could do a... Do you know what I've had it with? I've had it with...

People saying, I'm not, I'm a fake American. Because, I mean, I was born here, but I've changed two passports. I'm allowed to have that. I've also had it with those booty shorts. Just hanging out. I mean, you don't want to see a hairy ass hanging out in the back of a man's shorts, you know.

That is so good. That is so good. Does your dad, did he always have an accent growing up? Yeah, you know, he always had an accent growing up. He really did. He had a really thick accent. He's a funny guy. You know, thankfully my parents are still with us. I'm at that age where they're getting older, you know, but yeah, he's a funny guy. If you've heard me say anything funny in this podcast, it's because of him. He's a funny guy.

Are you ready? Pat it or hit it? Okay. The British royal family. I would hit it. I like them. I love The Crown. I love watching that show. I love The Crown. And I got to tell you, I'm really intrigued to see what happens with Harry and Meghan and

The sibling's not talking. So I would hit it. I agree. I agree. I follow it. I mean, I just hate it that they're fighting too because I'm like, they have each other. You know, that's what they have left of their mother. So it makes me sad. By the way, Kate Middleton went in for abdominal surgery. I know. I think it's a hysterectomy. Pamps has cracked the case. Oh, really? Well, that's what I think. She's calling it a hysterectomy. She's 42, abdominal surgery, three months out of work. That's a hysterectomy.

I mean, 10 days in the hospital seems long for a hysterectomy. But I'm intrigued with all of it. I would hit it. Yeah, I would hit it. The next one, had it or hit it, manscaping. Manscaping. I'm going to say hit it. It's something I do. It's...

It's a little gross for me. I'm a man of a particular age. I mean, I could show you a little bit. I've started to get like gray body hair. And, you know, we talked about the CPAP and the no touching and the snoring and all that stuff. And I'm already like on thin ice when it comes to physical contact with my cells. If she sees gray hair.

Chest and pubes, pubic hair on me, like white pubic hair. Like, like no one says like, oh, look at all that gray hair. It's wiry. But it's like, it's silver. It's like I have a little silver on the temples and that's okay. It's just when it goes in other places, there's nothing. Even I look at it and I'm like, you look like a monster. You look like something from a horror movie. Do you manscape?

Yes. Yeah. Do you, do you take it all off? No. Do you trim it down? What is your manscaping style? I don't take it all off. I'm not an adult film star. Nor am I a bodybuilder. It's so funny. I had to do something where I had to put a fake tattoo on my forearms. And so the makeup artist shaved my forearms. And I've always had hair on my forearms. And, yeah.

I didn't like the look of it. I don't like to assign gender here. We're all pretty cool, everybody here. But it made me feel very feminine, you know, like I had no hair on my arms. And I was used to... Not that I, you know, look very hairy on my arms. I was about to offend somebody. Walk that back. But...

You know, my uncle who used the VHS. I'm not as hairy as him. But I can get away with that. I can apologize later. But I don't shave everything. I don't like that look. I mean, maybe I've been drunk and manscaped and like taken off a little too much. I've done that, Jerry. It's the worst. You sit down the next day and you're like, what the fuck? Yeah. And it's also like you look...

This is really, I'm going to get in so much trouble, but you look like a, it looks not adult-like. Like a child. It doesn't look like an adult. This is treading on weird, dangerous waters here, but you don't look like a, like you, like I like adult, like I am into adults. That's me. And so I'm, I'm... Yeah.

But I do manscape because it gets crazy. I mean, it's like years. I have some questions. Yeah. So on the chest hair that you just showed us, it's like there's like a rogue gray hair. So how do you treat that? Do you pluck? Do you dye them? Or do you just – do you take off all the chest hair? How are you going to treat individual gray hairs? I have a – sometimes if –

You know, I didn't do it today. I shaved with a razor. But sometimes if I want a little bit of like a George Michael like stubble. Yeah. Yeah. I have a like a. Yeah. And if I'm in front of the mirror, I will use it and I will just zap all the gray hairs that I see on my chest and on my pubis. OK. So when did you start manscaping? Because in our generation, it was not common in our 20s. No. No.

What, what, what age did you think I need to groom? That's such a good question. Okay. Was this pre-marriage during marriage? Um, is it maybe because your wife won't touch you? It was, uh, it was maybe it had to have been during my marriage. It had, it was, um, I think it's almost like, uh, um, I know all your listeners are so young, you know, I listen to people calling him and leaving voicemails and all that stuff. Um,

But it's like getting, and you ladies don't get this because you're so perfect and beautiful, but like guys get like ear, we get ear hairs, you know? Right. We get large hairs in the ear. And it was like around that time. God, I'm so sorry. I was like sounding so sexy all up until this point. In the ear hair. In the ear hair. Ear hair. Ear hair era. Like weird, like ear hair, back, I get weird back hair now. Yeah.

Why am I telling everybody this? And, you know, this is probably, again, why my wife doesn't touch me. My wife does have to shave my back hair, which is like... I mean, it's like... I'll show you. It's like...

Oh, it's down there. Yeah. It's not all over. It's just kind of at the bottom. Yeah, but it's there, but it's also at the top. Is any of this grooming... Guys, tell me when the podcast starts. Is any of this grooming helping in the bedroom with Rebecca? Are you still not allowed to touch her? You know, I have to say what's funny about grooming, and I've never...

really talked about this. So this is the first time that we're, I'm really, I swear to you. I think grooming is more, I think when you're in it, no one's looking at someone's bathing suit parts and going, Hey, I love your grooming. When you're at that point, like no one's stopping and being like, wow, pumps. I got this little design here. I love this. When did you do this?

Like no one's saying that. I think at that moment it's like hot passion. Yeah. So grooming is really for how the person feels about themselves. Right. I agree. I agree too. Yeah. Had it or hid it, couples that brag about their sex life. Mm-hmm.

Had it. Had it. Don't need to hear it. And I actually, um, uh, you know, I guess, I guess I shouldn't say that. I've been talking about my sex life this entire episode. Or lack thereof. Yeah. But, um, when you, when, when my wife and I are with people and we hear them and they immediately like, or they at some point go into like how crazy sex is between them and like what they're doing. No, my wife and I immediately get in the car and we're like, um,

there's something up with those, like something's not working. A hundred percent. If they're having to tell you something's not right. Somebody is not into it. Right. Both are not into it. And by the way, I remember there was one couple that we were friendly with in our neighborhood. And it's funny, my wife and I were a young couple at this point. So like, I didn't really know how being married was, you know, certainly didn't learn anything from my parents. But

But I remember we went on a double date and they immediately started like talking about like how voracious their sexual appetites were with each other and like in detail what they do with each other. Like a Hawaiian fusion restaurant. My wife and I were sitting there and they were like sort of like beating us to go. And I was like, oh, my wife thinks I need a CPAP. But they're no longer married. And not only are they no longer married, um,

I've spoken to him. I talked to him. He talked about how there was – it was never a physical relationship. And, like, I was going to say, like, what was all that stuff you were talking about? But I didn't want to, like, pile it on. But –

Yeah. So I would, I would, uh, I've, I've had it with that. Yeah. I think it's a total red flag. Red flag. And I think it's totally Shakespearean. Thou doth protest too much. Yeah. You know, immediately if they're talking nonstop about all the crazy sex they have, that they're probably not having any, but I have another. Or somebody's fucking around. Ooh. Yeah. Yeah. Somebody's fucking around. But here's one. I had, there's this couple that I know in Oklahoma city and we would go to these parties and

And the more crowded the parties were, they would be on the coffee table or on like a cocktail ottoman, you know, as they're called. Yeah. And they're married and they have children. Okay. They've been married for 15 years. Okay. Full blown making out. Wow. French kissing, fingering. Is that not the closest? The whole line in front of everybody. Total exhibitionism. Wow. And everybody just knew when we saw it, like, wow.

that's just what they do and i just assumed they must not be fucking in private like maybe this is their thing how's that their kink look at us look we're a couple yeah we do it look you see yeah that's really crazy isn't that weird or maybe doing it to like hope to like someone else jumps in and then if someone else jumps in that's really what they're looking for it's uh

It's pretty weird. Yeah, it's gross. I could also just be like super jealous that someone is getting on third base at a party. At a party with everybody standing there. That's always an option when you're talking about something you've had it with, why it triggers you so much. It could be some inherent jealousy, you know? Yeah, but that is annoying. No, it's very annoying. It's a red flag city. Or I think another one is, what about when people tell you like, yeah, we're trying.

We're trying to get pregnant. So you know they're screwing all the time. It's like, just tell us when it happened. Oh, God. It's just a funny thing about spousal intimacy. My wife told me a story that...

This is going to get sad, but her parents got divorced and her parents dated other people and that always drove her crazy. And she went on a road trip with her dad and his new girlfriend. And she was in the back with the girlfriend's kid and like they were there and it's super awkward. But the girlfriend kept leaning over her.

to her father's hand and like caressing his like hand and knuckles and everything. And she was like, it drove her crazy because, you know, it's like a new, it's not, it's not her mom touching her dad's hand and she was doing it like publicly and like, it didn't have to happen. So when I'm driving with my wife and I want to annoy her, I'll just like touch her. I'll like touch her knuckle and she'll be like, don't fucking, don't do that. Don't do that. Don't do that. You know, I hate that.

This has really become about the lack of intimacy in my marriage. We're still married, though. Hey, come on. See, that's what we do with these calm accents. We bait you in. Yeah. And we get you to bring out all of your shortcomings. We make you feel safe. And then the next thing you know, Kylie has put this up on Instagram and TikTok. TikTok. By the way, remember—

Jerry O'Connell has not had sex in 20 years, despite his twins being 15. Right. No, it's really funny. Well, the funniest was I also came here and I made a promise that I was going to bring my tone down to you guys. Cut to me on the plane. What the fuck? Which is my favorite. That door is gone. That door is gone. I better get miles for this. I'm going to lower fucking miles. I want the credit card too, lady. I need headphones.

Okay. All right. Last one. Had it or hid it. Gender reveal parties. Oh, um,

I would hit it. Oh, God damn it, Jerry. God damn it. They're so obnoxious. God damn it. I have had it up to my eyeballs with this shit. What a breathtaking disappointment. Gender reveals, really. Well, I really watch them because, you know, I mostly see them on social media. Right. And I watch them, like, waiting for the fire to start and waiting for the explosion to happen. Wait until I die.

Yeah, waiting for the explosion to like give granny third degree burns because you know it's going to be like the aunt who like the cake is going to explode and blow her leg off. And that's what I wait for. No, they're – it's so funny. I always watch them and I watch till the end and I'm really – I do too. I'm really into them. Some of the things I've had it with, I can't stop watching. You know, like couples that communicate with each other online. Yeah.

Which they're maybe sitting next to each other on a sofa, but they're communicating like, I have the best husband in the world. And the husband comments, I love my baby. And they're like, oh, yeah. And you know immediately somebody's fucking around. And I can't stop watching it. Yeah. Well, it's funny. If you watch any of those like date lines or anything, I watched that one. I believe it was the guy in Colorado who put his whole like family in like the bin and everything. For his new girlfriend. It's really getting dark. I'm so sorry, everybody. Yeah.

um this is way darker we should just go back to shaving your pubes but um uh they were like an online yes family and like you they show the posts throughout the entire like dateline episode and it's like hey here with my hubby everything's good it's like super like uh

What's the word that my daughters always make fun of me? They call me not coogee, choogie. Choogee? I've never heard that. Oh, choogie? What is that? Oh, my God. Choogee is... God, I can't believe I'm explaining choogie to you guys. It's like, you know when you go to someone's house and it says like...

Live, love, wine. Or like someone has like a cup that says like, it's 12 o'clock somewhere. It's noon somewhere. Word art. Word art? Yeah. Yeah, but it's like also like Chugi's like... Chugi's a way of life, man. Chugi, it's like... It's like...

It's like cheesy, celebratory. Everything's great. It's like, oh, God, somebody in the comments explain what chuggy is. I'm doing a terrible job of doing it. How would we explain chuggy? Someone with no riz. No riz. You know what riz is, right? Yeah, riz is charisma. I know that because I have teenage daughters. Somebody said that to me, and I was like, I had no idea what it was. And then I read an article. Immediately it said, if you have to ask what riz is, you have none. And I was like, well, there we have it. Yeah, I learned it actually a really hard way.

I was driving my kids somewhere because they're not of driving age yet, so I'm at that age where you have to drive them everywhere. And then one of my daughters was like, Dad, you must have been a Riz King. And I was like, what? What is that? At first I thought they were accusing me of doing something. I was like, what do you mean? And they were like, you don't know what a Riz King means? Yeah.

And I was like, no. And they were like, well, how did you tell us about how you mom met? And I was like, I was sorry to have maximum party. And I ran up to her in the VIP room and she was with another guy, but I, her friend gave me her phone number and I just got in there and never let go. And they went, yeah, you, you are as King because mom is way hotter than you are. Yeah.

It would be hard to be married to a supermodel. Really. You got to be a Riz King. You got to be a Riz King. You got to have a lot of Riz. You got to. I mean, despite. It is impressive. It is. It's shocking. It's shocking. All right, listeners. What is all of our stuff? Join us on Patreon. Yeah. Hot shit tour coming near you. A hot shit tour is everywhere. Because, Jerry, we're hot shit. Yeah. As evidence. By this hour. Listen, all my friends are going to see you live. They can't wait. I'm excited. All right, pumps, tell them. We will see you next Tuesday or Thursday or both. I'll tell you what I'm hot up with.

We know dating isn't easy, and that's why we partnered with eHarmony. Because dating is different on eHarmony. They want you to find somebody who gets you, someone you can be fully comfortable with. Their compatibility quiz helps your personality come out in your profile, which makes all profiles on eHarmony way more interesting and way more fun to read.

So give eHarmony a shot. Get started with their compatibility quiz so you can find someone you can be yourself with. That's what true connection and compatibility are all about. Being seen, heard, understood. And that's why more people are turning to eHarmony. Finding someone who gets you is hard, right? Well, that's because we're human and there's a lot of different humans out there. That's why eHarmony helps you bring out your personality on your dating profile so you can meet someone you can be fully yourself with.

And when you match based on personality, you're already one step ahead when it comes to meeting someone who gets you. So if you're searching for someone you can be yourself with, try eHarmony. Take their compatibility quiz to get started today. eHarmony. Get who gets you.

This episode is sponsored by ADT. ADT knows a lot can happen in a second. One second, you're happily single. And the next second, you catch a glimpse of someone and you don't want to be. Maybe one second, you have a business idea that seems like a pipe dream. And the next, you have an LLC and a dream come true. And when it comes to your home, one second, you feel safe. And the next, something goes wrong. But with ADT's 24-7 professional monitoring, you still feel safe.

Because when every second counts, count on ADT. Visit ADT.com today.

This episode is sponsored by ADT. ADT knows a lot can happen in a second. One second, you're happily single. And the next second, you catch a glimpse of someone and you don't want to be. Maybe one second, you have a business idea that seems like a pipe dream. And the next, you have an LLC and a dream come true. And when it comes to your home, one second, you feel safe. And the next, something goes wrong. But with ADT's 24-7 professional monitoring, you still feel safe.

Because when every second counts, count on ADT. Visit ADT.com today.