Deep Dive
Shownotes Transcript
Pumps, as much as we're traveling, I really like to eat nuts, particularly pistachios. I love wonderful pistachios because they provide pistachios with no shells. My favorite flavor is the sea salt and vinegar.
You know, I really like jalapeno lime because I like a spicy nut, but they also have a wide range of flavors. There's a wonderful pistachios product for every taste bud and occasion from enjoying with family and friends or taking them with you on the go. Savory, salty, smoky, spicy, or sweet. Wonderful pistachios, no shells flavors are delicious snacks that consumers can feel good about.
Next time you're shopping for snacks and you are craving something crunchy and satisfying, ditch the bag of chips and grab Wonderful Pistachios No-Shells. Your body and your taste buds will thank us. Visit wonderfulpistachios.com to learn more.
Dental One Associates, redefine what it means to visit the dentist. Get top quality personalized support from committed experts that prioritize the well-being and satisfaction of you and your family. Care is centered on a highly personalized treatment plan backed by the trust and support of long-lasting relationships. Find out how you can make an appointment for a custom smile design experience by visiting doa-seriousxm.com.
This episode is brought to you by SimpliSafe. So are we supposed to start the podcast? Right off the bat. Crushed it. And listener pumps. Attorney at law just came from the courthouse. Oh.
It was so fucking hot. I thought I was going to die. But you look so lawyerly and academic and professional. Well, I am an academic. I think you forget. There's no question. I'm probably going to be a professor next year at Harvard. No question. I mean, and I don't think we remind the listeners enough about your academic prowess. That's right. I mean, it's always just, you know, kind of me browbeating you here and there about stuff. But you are an attorney.
And a hot one at that. Well, thank you. And... Temperature hot, for sure. Podcasting star. An icon. Absolutely. An icon in the podcasting world. Pumps. You know, we did that...
Next door episode. So fun. People loved it. Yeah, it's so good. I've been just creeping on my neighborhood one just for shits and giggles. Okay, let's welcome everyone to I've had it. I'm Jennifer. I'm Angie.
And she's the star of our show, the Princess Diana of podcasting, attorney at law, litigator at large, boss bitch of the podcasting world. Kylie's here and Richard is still on vacation. So Morgan is subbing in. Kylie, what's been going on with you?
Not much. I just have to deal with you guys every day. Not the funnest. It's a treat. It really is. It's a treat. When I'm out in public, I get asked, are they really nice? Are they really funny? I'm like, yeah. What cracks me up is the first time you were just so taken aback that we're huggers. Oh my gosh. You almost sounded like you said hookers. Taken aback? I was taken aback by that as well. Huggers.
Oh, huggers. I thought you said hookers instead of huggers. Taking it back by the fact that we're hookers. That would take me back. All right. So what I think we need to do is just deep dive right into these again. So Linda posts on her neighborhood app, flag day with an American flag emoji. Tomorrow is flag day. So don't forget to put out your American flag, flag emoji, MAGA, three exclamation points.
And then Kate responds, go fuck yourself, Linda. With a smiley face emoji.
So what did Linda say back? That's all I got. I didn't get any further. No back and forth, no fist fighting, nothing. Typically, from what I've seen on the World Wide Web of the MAGA people, like they can't stop. I mean, it's like they have a table of cocaine in front of them. Right. And they have no like cartilage left in their nose and they cannot stop in the comment section. It is explosive diarrhea. So I imagine I just saw this cut and pasted on the Internet.
I imagine that Linda probably completely unraveled and quite possibly still is doing, you know, a cocaine bender about this flag day. I like Kate. I love Kate. Go fuck yourself, Linda. I love it that she didn't try to suit it up. She didn't try to do it anonymously. Yes. And I also think what Kate's getting to here is instead of trying to argue with a crazy person that's a member of a cult, right?
But you want to say something back. Keep it simple. Right. Straightforward. They can understand. Go fuck yourself, Linda. That's it. That's beautiful. Instead of like, you know, Donald Trump is a fascist and mentally unstable and a malignant narcissist. Because that is not going to penetrate with Linda. Right. You know, Linda's got, you know, Trump and all these people in her spank bank for God knows whatever reason. And Kate just immediately was just like, go fuck yourself, Linda. Smiley face emoji. Yeah.
The smiley face emoji is the best. Okay, Kylie, what do you have? I've got one right up the same alley. This one's from John. All caps. Urgent. Help. My son visited and blocked Fox on my TV. I don't trust digital or any of the iTunes. Fox is all that's allowed in this household. How can I unblock Fox? I told my son I'm taking him out of the will. Okay.
How much do you love the sun? I mean, just take an action. Honestly, it is such... The sun is really smart and that's like a total intervention because...
Fox is causing brain rot in like the boomer generation. I think the average age of a Fox viewer is like 65. Okay. These people should be retired, enjoying their grandchildren, approaching retirement, traveling. Right. And instead. They're mad. They are so fucking mad. Yeah. And here's the thing about like Fox.
During the whole COVID thing and then the Trumpers started all the anti-vax thing, which was weird because that I did not like Trump. I didn't really approve of anything he did in his presidency, but they got that vaccine out quickly. They did. And so that's the one thing that he kind of did well or funded for it to be done well. I mean, let's not kid ourselves. He wouldn't do it. He didn't do it. But.
And then they're all like anti-vaxxers. But at Fox, you had to be vaccinated to go in the building. That would drive me crazy. And so these people are just sold a jet stream of bullshit that the anchors themselves don't believe. There's text messages that have been uncovered where Sean Hannity browbeats Trump.
Tucker Carlson, Laura, they all talk about what a nutty is. Right. But the Trumpers, the old boomer Trumper sect, they're all just such raving lunatics. And then they just cave. And it's like...
That's, I mean, they pitch such temper tantrums that everybody just has to, oh, we can't upset these privileged white people. So we're going to keep throwing them this red meat to rile them up. It's gross. It's gross. I praise the son. I praise the son. Son's five stars. Five stars for him. Okay. Here's one. It's a picture of a, what looks like a canine. Okay. Okay.
And I'm going to go ahead and say it's a coyote. Okay. So somebody photographed a coyote walking in the middle of the street. They post the photograph and then they put warning, no chances, aggressive dog, no leash. This dog just charged at my dog. I'm alerting animal control now and I will press charges. I will prosecute. How do you prosecute a dog?
I don't know. I mean, that's like, who are you prosecuting? Like, this is a wild animal. A wild animal. I do know that if your dog bites another human...
that they can give your dog the death penalty if the city comes and picks them up. They've had trials over that in municipal court that I've heard of. But in this case, even if it was an owned coyote, you couldn't see the owner for him being aggressive with the dog. That's just stupid. I'm just so glad I started off this podcast today reminding our listener that
That you are an attorney at law. And I have seen the death penalty cases over immunity. She is a canine death penalty attorney listener. Abdicate. Abdicate? Abdicate for the pet owner. Advocate? Advocate. I'm advocating for the pet owner not to have their dog killed. You know what? I think that that's what you should do.
In all my free time? Yeah, a death penalty, a canine death penalty advocate. Right. That's exactly what I want to spend my time doing. I think that, you know, I think number one entry of the permanent record, Kylie, could you please pull out the permanent record? Yeah.
Okay, top of the first page says, Pumps is not a good pet owner. So now you think I ought to, like, redeem myself? Yes. This is the Pumps canine redemption tour. Right. You can go represent dogs, and maybe they'd be, like, rather juicy trials. Like, you know, maybe some guy was a total dick to somebody's dog, provoked the dog. The dog acted in self-defense. Right.
But then the dog is getting sentenced to the death penalty. Right. Dun, dun, dun, dun. Pops, attorney at law.
K-9 advocate. Some of our younger listeners don't know about the People's Court. Oh, that was a great one. And that was the theme song that I was doing. The People's Court. Remember Doug Llewellyn? Yes. Doug Llewellyn. Totally remember him. Yeah. Y'all will have to look that up on YouTube if you're younger. It was this court show with Judge Wapner. Yes. And it was called the People's Court. And they would go in and they would sit in front of Judge Wapner.
And then he'd decide on it. And then as they were leaving, there was Doug Llewellyn. He would interview the plaintiff and the defendant. And this was like back in the day when you had to watch what was on TV. Right. You had no choices. Like you couldn't like now it's so great. You can be like, I want to watch the people's court and you can go find it on the Internet or on TV. But we had to watch what was on TV. So we watched a lot of
bad television. Bad television. That was so bad it was good. Right. And it's like ingrained into our 1980s memory. Yes. Doug Llewellyn, Judge Wapner, The People's Court. Kylie, have you ever heard of this? I've heard of it, but I thought you were doing the Law and Order theme song. No, that was The People's Court. Wasn't it? Yes.
Yes. As they walked in. Yeah. As they walked in the door. Yeah. It was really good. It was good. It was so bad. It was good. Pumps were so busy with this podcast and you being the star of the show, it's important that your hair always look fantastic. And I'm so glad that we have discovered Kitsch with its cult like following satin pillowcases, caps, and eye masks. Great for your hair and skin while you sleep. So you can work on your beauty while
While you sleep. And I will take all the help I can get. And the silk pillowcases are fabulous for eyelash extensions. Fabulous. And the rice water shampoo bars, which can improve your overall hair growth and density, are
Most reviewers say they will never use bottle shampoo again. Right now, Kitsch is offering you 30% off your entire order at mykitsch.com slash had it. That's right, 30% off anything and everything at mykitsch, K-I-T-S-C-H dot com slash had it. One more time, mykitsch.com slash had it for 30% off your order.
Pumps, with summer here, our skin's been taking a beating. It is the perfect time to take your body care routine to the next level, especially when you're traveling. Osea is the best. They have the best oils, scrubs, and lotions. My skin just glows. I'm telling you, you should try the body care set at a reduced price.
The set has a value of $78, but right now you can get it for only $52. That's 33% in savings. And when you use our exclusive code, you'll get an additional 10% off, saving even more. I absolutely love their product. It's clean, vegan, cruelty-free, and climate-neutral certified. So you don't have to have any guilt when using this to make your skin look fantastic.
This summer, take your glow to go with clean vegan skincare and body care from Osea. Right now, we have a special discount just for our listeners. Get 10% off your first order site-wide with code HADIT at oseamalibu.com. You'll get free samples with every order and free shipping on orders over $60. Head to oseamalibu.com and be sure to use the code HADIT for your 10% off. Pumps. Listener.
I am so much happier and I sleep so much better at night ever since we have partnered you up with folks over at Simply Safe, knowing that your house is secure and sound and that the star of our show is safe at all times.
literally makes the world sleep better. I have to say, I really have enjoyed having SimpliSafe. I do feel safer and I feel really comfortable with the system. How could you not with the 24-7 live guard protection that is made possible by the new smart
alarm wireless indoor camera and is available with the fast protect monitoring plan. Listener, if you would like to beef up your security right now, I've had it listeners get a special 20% off any simply safe system when you sign up for fast protect monitoring. This huge offer is for a limited time only. So visit simply safe.com slash had it.
That's simplisafe.com slash had it. There's no safe like SimpliSafe. What comes to mind when you picture the perfect roommate?
One who comes when you call? One who doesn't forget to lock the door? One who doesn't steal your milk just a little bit at a time, hoping you won't notice? At Apartments.com, we understand that when it comes to roommates, a pet can be your best bet. They're easygoing, eat what you serve them, and they never clog the toilet. That's why we have the most pet-friendly rental listings on the internet.
And with instant alerts, you'll know the moment your perfect pet-friendly place becomes available. So when you need a place that's pet-friendly and human-tolerant, check out Apartments.com, the place to find your pet-friendly place. At Leidos, a brilliant mind is smart, but a brilliant team is smarter.
A ship that finds enemy subs is smart, but an autonomous fleet, that's smarter. Defending against cyber attacks, smart. Stopping attacks before they start, smarter. And using AI tools is smart, but integrating trusted mission AI into your technology is smarter. We're not just making technology solutions and national security and health. We're making smart, smarter. Leidos. This always smells like pine. She said get out the chat room and clean mine. Hey!
The GLAAD girl group coming at you with a throwback jam. That was GLAAD force flex drawstring trash bags featuring Pine Sol original scent. And that's better than all good. It's all GLAAD. Okay, Kylie, who's next? Up next, we've got Linda. She writes, question. My grandson is saying WAP. I think that is how it's spelled. Over and over again and will not tell me what it means. Does it mean white Anglo-Protestant? Ha ha ha!
Because I am Catholic and he knows this would get on my nerves with a cross emoji. Oh, bless her heart. Bless her heart. I mean, she's in for a rude awakening when she finds out what that is. A rude awakening. Oh, my gosh. White Anglo-Protestant. Who even thinks that's an acronym anymore? Ever. A lot of those Fox viewers we talked about a couple questions ago. We're so insulated from it. But, I mean, they are crazy.
loud and proud. I would have to think the WAP song was all over Fox News. Was it not? Does anybody know? It was. I think Ben, yeah, it was. They lost their mind. But here's what I have to say about the WAP song. Generally, these people are like, we're patriots and we support freedom. America is all about opportunity. You can come to America and you have opportunity. So here's a black woman that
writes a song. It goes viral beyond globally. Everybody sings it. Laughs all the way to the bank. Total American dream shit.
And they just have a couple problems with it. And so therefore, the whole freedom capitalist thing, you know, they squash that down. Then the Puritanism rises up. It's not applicable to anyone that doesn't believe what they want to believe. Exactly. Only applicable to our people and what we think and our ideals. That's right, counselor. Oh, it's my turn. Okay. The WAP though, man.
Ann Post, the subject is moms of middle school boys. Okay. We have a lot of young people vaping. Signs to look for include new friends, frequent use of air freshener, taking book bag everywhere, hanging out at Pizza Hut, strange Uber charges on your bank statement, unusually tired, suddenly walking everywhere. Okay.
Be on the alert. Don't be afraid to search in their book bag, their rooms. I have the names of a few boys that have been vaping. P.M. She does not. Wait, hang on. P.M., not D.M. P.M. me if you would like more information. Several things to unpack here. I don't know why she's dragging Pizza Hut. Right. What Pizza Hut do? They're serving pizza. That's it. She's dragging Uber. Yeah. Yeah.
walking everywhere. That's good exercise. And how else are they going to get there? They're in middle school. And then the red flag, and I brought this up a few episodes ago, I think you can pull it back. The PM. The PM. Right. This is, this is what we have here. Now, listen, we are mothers of sons. And my oldest son, I remember finding out like finding a vape. And I'm just like,
You can't do that. Here's why X, Y, Z. When I was in high school, I started smoking cigarettes. And some of this stuff, it's like,
It's just the normal growth that people go through in life. You experiment with alcohol, vapes. In our day, it was cigarettes. I think cigarettes are making a comeback or so I've heard. Cigarettes are just too easy to bust, though, because you can smell it. You can smell it from a mile away. But this is the type of mom. And when I talk about power moms that drive me crazy. There you go. She is it.
What about... Why don't you just keep track of your own kid, Ann? And mind your own fucking business. She put this on the neighborhood app. I know. That's what I'm thinking. Like, now you're going to, like, start all the neighbors thinking these kids are bad because they're walking to and fro? I think some of these people are just so low IQ. They confuse...
Like the neighborhood app with Twitter, with Instagram, with Facebook. LinkedIn, all those things. All of it. Yeah. It's just like, it's just word vomit, micromanaging, trying to control other people. And if some mom called me and gave me all of this stuff, number one, I'd probably ghost her. Right.
Right. And number two, I'd be appreciative that she showed me exactly what a psychopathic power mom she is, because this is the type of person I want to avoid. 100%. At all costs. She put her freak flag out. You see it. Now you can avoid her. How about the no new friends and the backpack? I mean, my kid goes everywhere with his backpack because he has changed for basketball, changed for, I mean, he changes 10 times a day. It's nuts. She needs to control her own kid. And guess what's going to happen to her kid when he goes to college?
Oh my God. Crystal meth. I was going to say the Angie Sullivan college experience, but that did not include crystal meth. Everything, pretty much everything else. All right. All right. This person wrote help with cat.
Okay, so I have a problem. My cat Tiffany loves to be an indoor-outdoor cat. The problem is that every time she goes out, she ends up in a fight that she loses 100% of the time because she is so small and untrained. Does anyone have any experience with feline self-defense training? No.
Do you have a feline trainer that you recommend? I feel like that if she just had a few basic combat skills, she could hold her own a little better. Okay, first of all, what kind of net jobs thinks there's cat martial arts self-defense training? That's the biggest red flag to me. There are trainings. There are pet training. I mean, there are dogs that you see at airports that have full-time jobs. No, I understand that, but like...
self-defense training for a cat I know I kind of admire the post I'm not gonna lie oh I think she falls in the category of she's not understanding what this is for this is to say there's a house on fire three doors down right right but I also I also kind of appreciate her advocating for her cat to learn some skills that maybe she's not able to teach her at home
Keep her fucking inside. That's it. Your cat's a pussy. The cat enjoys going outside. Cats are pussies. Well, keep your cat in the backyard. Well, cats jump over fences, pups. Get it on a leash or something. Take it for a walk. You don't put cats on leashes. I don't know. I hate cats, so I don't really care. What about the cat being named Tiffany? Love that. I love that. My cat Tiffany. My cat Tiffany. I love that. Okay, here we go. I've got one. Chickens.
To my neighbor that complains to the city about my chickens, I want to thank you because I didn't know I'm allowed to have up to 25.
And I don't even have half of that. So thanks for the complaint. I learned something today. Oh, that's fantastic. That is fantastic because that gets that little complainer, that busybody, that Gladys Kravitz, just like, oh, I only have 12. Now I'm going to have 25. I can double up. Yeah. Then I'll throw eggs at your house. No, I'm just kidding. She won't do that. All right, Kylie, what's next?
Okay, we've got a bike posted for sale. A Schwinn Giant Cypress bike. Okay. Hardly ever used. Ex-husband was busy riding other things. Ha ha ha ha!
I love that. She just called his ass out. You know what? So some peak internet is when couples are fighting or divorcing. You feel like when you're having those problems because that's all you feel. That's all you think about. You wake up to it. You go to sleep to it. You think everybody else is too. Yeah.
So then you start updating these things online and like peak social media for me personally is when I see people that their relationship is deteriorating and they start posting updates about it on the worldwide web. And I know that that is really a horrible character trait of mine. Right. I know it is listener, but I have a feeling that you all might just enjoy it.
too. Yeah, it's good stuff. I don't have that. I mean, I've never done that. Like found somebody on my own, but you just wouldn't believe the Facebook messages and texts and posts that clients bring to me. I mean, people share way too much shit on the internet. Like, I'm just like, this is not on the internet. Like, was this a private message? And they're like, no, it was posted. I'm just like, who the fuck is that dumb? A lot of people. Oh, yeah. And then the problem is they post it
And the time that they might take an hour, two, three, four hours to have buyer's remorse, right? Right. It's been screenshot and texted. Right. I mean, it's bad. That ship is sailed at that point. And so like this poor lady, you know, with the bike. Yeah.
People know who she is. And then probably, you know, she slept on it. She woke up. She thought, God, that's fucking dumb. I kind of like it. You know? And then I know, but you, you know, at some point when you're trying to get over stuff, you have to work towards getting over it and not trying to get everybody on your side. Oh, for sure. And so at some point, hopefully she was like, God, that's not, well, here we are talking about it on our podcast. Bringing it all back up for her.
Yep. Okay. Here's one. Cats seeking employment. Are you having a rodent problem around your home and property and can't seem to rid yourself of them? Employ a cat. The Humane Society of Charlotte is searching for adopters for outdoor community cats. You can learn more by contacting the community cat program manager at, and they list the phone number, and filling out a working cat adoption questionnaire. Okay.
So, you know, I mean, I, again, I, people are doing things with cats that apparently you oppose. Well, I was just kind of thinking about the cat. Like if a cat was going to get rid of a mouse, then I'd be down with that as long as they didn't like leave the mouse on my porch or anywhere. But I don't know, maybe the cat person and Tiffany the cat.
need to like connect and Tiffany the cat can get a job. A job. Get her off the streets. Get her off the streets where she's beaten up and abused. Yeah. Tiffany, if she could go to the Charlotte Humane Society. She might get little Tiffany some skills. She might learn some skills that nobody can take from her. Right. Yeah. No, the cat, the working cat. Now, so they're community cats. I would imagine like a community of feral cats that are. Right. But that are fixed. Right. You know, like.
That have their claws. Yeah, that work. You know, they work a few blocks. Right. They work out there on rodent patrol. So if you employ the cat, you're like responsible for feeding it and vaccinations and all that, I guess. I mean, I don't know. Yeah, we when we remodeled our first house, I don't know, this is probably like 12, 13 years ago, we moved into an apartment while the house was being remodeled.
And there were all these cats that lived around the apartment community and we fed them like every day. And it was just like a community of feral cats that kept rodents away. And I quite enjoyed them. I mean, we put food out because I like animals. Right. And I'm a good person. And I fed them, put food and water out. At the time, I smoked cigarettes. So I'd go out and sit on the balcony, smoke a cig, talk to the cat, gave it secondhand smoke.
So as a working cat with secondhand cancer, do you have to pay for the medical? I used to wonder that about my dogs. Like, are they going to drop dead of lung cancer and then I'm going to feel guilty? Thank God they haven't. Or my other one died, but it wasn't of lung cancer. It was old age. He probably should have because that was when you smoked indoors, Bodie. You smoked inside with Bodie? For years. Do you want me to read the first entry of the permanent record again? Yeah. Yeah.
Everybody smoked indoors back then. I did. I think we did in college. But post-college, I don't think I ever smoked inside ever again. It was past like the first three or four years, like during law school. Okay. So it had been the same time frame. But I had Bodie, yeah. And that's when you were killing Bodie? Killing Bodie, but he lived to a ripe old age of 17. Oh, I remember that dog. He was a sweet dog. You were a pretty good pet owner back then. Oh, God, I loved him. I mean, I just didn't get out of bed for three days when he died. Then my father-in-law died and I didn't even cry.
Nope. You sure didn't. Sure did not. You sure didn't. I remember that phone call. He's dead. That's bad. Okay, here we go. Two guys in front of my door for four minutes. Oh, goodness. They biked into my driveway and then stayed in front of my door for four whole minutes. Seriously, whoever you are, you need to drop off a note or something. The longer you stay, the more suspicious you become. And
And here's a picture of the two boys that I believe are Mormons. Are Mormons. No question about it. Are Mormons. But I will say this. I have fucking had it with religious solicitations at a door. Yeah, I've had it with all solicitations at the door. I have as well. But the like peak...
Had it of all solicitations is some religious nut that comes to my door. I remember when we lived at that house that I was talking about the house on Fenwick before the house we have now, these two Mormons come to my door.
And I'm like, I'm just completely not interested. And these kids are like 18 years old, you know? So it's like, what are y'all putting them? I mean, that's bananas. Right. And they're like, well, no, but we want you. And I go, I'm sorry, kids. I'm not into it. It's not going to happen. Well, what, where church do you go to? I'm like, this falls into the none of your business and I don't go to church and it just, and it kind of goes. So then I like, I send them away.
And then my kids are like walking back from the plaza area and my kids bump into these kids and these kids are like, yeah, we were just at that house right there. And that woman was so mean. And the kids come home and they're like, mom, you were so mean. I was like.
I spared you. Listen, like these poor kids have been just indoctrinated out the wazoo. And this is what their parents and their church are making them do. Right. They'll think they'll go to like hell if they don't do it. Yeah, it's nuts. I did have a solicitation in my neighborhood the other day. The kids and I were coming home and there was a guy on one of the, what do you call them? The deals that drive themselves. Scooter? Not a, but it's like the two wheels. Yeah.
Moped? I don't know. It's like you stand up on it. A scooter. Okay, a scooter. So he's on the scooter and you can just tell by looking he's selling something. He's kind of looking at the addresses, da-da-da. And I'm like, okay, this guy's selling shit. Do not answer the door. No matter what happens, do not answer the door. So like 30 minutes go by, the doorbell rings. And I'm just like, thank God I've prepped everybody. We're not getting out the door. I hear Luke go, and so I scream across the house, don't answer the door.
answer the door. So he stood there for a minute. Then he left. Then he tried to do another sneak attack.
But we didn't do it. But I kind of felt bad because you could tell. I mean, it's 105 degrees out. He's running around on a scooter. He had on long pants. Like, miserable job. I feel sorry for him. But I just, I'm never going to answer those doors ever. Or I'm just like, okay, I'm not interested. I'm not interested in clothes. I always feel bad. I don't. I just kind of like, oh, I feel bad. Because it's not your fault that you're out here trying to shuck this shit. No, I know. But I think we have to.
put an end to this, like going to somebody's home or calling their phone, like these cold calls. That is... Corporate America needs to be stopped with that. I mean, it is such an invasion. Right. You know, it's like it's...
If I want something, I will go out and get it myself and it'll be my idea. But it's all an extension of forced capitalism. Yeah. Or Google it and go find it. It's all forced capitalism, which we're on the permanent record for opposing. Opposing. Kylie, what do you have? I've got a post from Karen. Okay. And she writes, it's been bothering me for a while. So here goes. I'm sick of all the Karen reference remarks.
I'm going to start reporting everyone as harassment till those offenders learn some respect. I'm very kind and patient person, but I'm over it with this. Oh my God. She's the biggest Karen on the planet. Right. Because that's not Karen at all. Right. Reporting every single person. That's harassment. I mean,
the fuck Karen you sound like a moron it's textbook oh my gosh that's textbook that's why they're Karens surely like if she's real and that isn't somebody on the internet trolling I mean you have to question it we've got somebody who's trying to find their cat martial arts skills laughing
Pumps, there's no question this Skims thing is totally creating the next generation of underwear for every single body. Agree. I love it. The bras, you don't even know you have them on. I love the racerback bralette and I ordered it in sand. So it was like, it's like a nude color. I'm telling you, it's like, I don't have a bra on. It totally hides all the straps. If I'm wearing a tank top, it's so comfortable. It's like liberating. I absolutely love their product.
The FITS Everybody collection of underwear is super lightweight and molds to your body. The buttery soft fabric stretches to twice its size without ever losing its shape, meaning you get a perfect fit every time. Everything is available in sizes X,
xxs to 4x believe the hype skims has over 100,000 five-star reviews for a reason skims fits everybody and more best-selling essentials are available now at skims.com plus get free shipping on orders over 75 after you place your order be sure to let them know that we sent you select podcast in the survey and be sure to select our show in the drop down menu that follows
Pumps, when I would think about you in the past and I would think about your gut and your bowel movements, I always just thought high-speed train wreck. Yeah, and you are not wrong. Now, when I think about you and I think about your gut, I think this woman is a beacon of gut health. Absolutely. Pooping regularly, no bloating, feeling great. The psychobiotic has been amazing. I feel calmer, happier, more
Couldn't be happier with the whole thing. What I love about this product is they have probiotics for dogs. Yes. Which are my biological children. Right. My dog loves it. And the Frenchies are on the probiotic and they are thriving. Pardon the pun. Just thrive. Listener, if you're ready to take control of constipation, bloat, and stress and live your healthiest life yet, you can get 20% off your first 90-day bottle of Just Calm and Just Thrive probiotic today.
Visit justthrivehealth.com and use promo code HATIT. You know, Pops, I'm constantly worried about you drinking all of these sweetened teas and these oversized beverage cups. I know, but I'm doing so much better. I love hemp water. Hemp water is so good because let's face it, regular water is so boring.
It doesn't have any flavor. It gets tired. You know, you get sick of drinking it. But Hint Water has perfectly infused pure water with fruit essences to create authentic fruit flavors without any sugar, diet sweeteners, or calories. Their mission is to help people drink more water by making it taste great. And taste great it does.
Listener, you can find Hint Water at retail stores like Walmart, Target, and Kroger or have it delivered, like I do, direct to your door from HintWater.com. New customers can get Hint for just $1 a bottle with free shipping when they order three cases. That's 36 bottles for $36 and free shipping. Just be sure to use the code HADIT at checkout. Okay, here's one. Spy Flowers.
And it's an image of a fence with a sunflower growing up over the fence, looking right into the neighbor's yard. My neighbor has this flower peeking into my backyard. I couldn't get close enough to see if there was a camera hidden inside. Is this even legal? Okay. My question would be if it's,
Why can't you just climb up on your fence and look into it? That wouldn't be hard. I would imagine this person is probably 80. Well, but I'm also like, what are you doing at 80 that's so newsworthy that anybody would want to see it? People are so worried about being spied on.
I mean, most people are boring. I'm boring. Nobody would want to spy on me. Nobody would want to spy on you. But I think it's like people think that everybody, you know, like when our kids were growing up, when my sons were younger, like, well, everybody thinks this. I'm like, nobody's thinking about you. Everybody's thinking about themselves, thinking about them. And it's always like I immediately know that it's bullshit is when, well, everybody thinks
No, they don't. If you're pulling out everybody, then you can't find one person. No, you're exactly right. Right. I mean, you know who says that all the time? DT. Uh-huh. Donald Trump. Always. It's always, and everybody knows it. And it's like, no, they don't because you're a fucking liar. That's right. Yeah. No. Okay. Kylie. This says, poll. What is a power bottom? And they write, I went for a walk with my grandkids who are 14 and 15.
And we walked past these two men walking and one of them was in a shirt that said power bottom. And my grandkids keep laughing and won't tell me what it means. Help. You know. So good. You know, I mean, that is just...
Good stuff right there. It's great, great stuff. We went to, back when we were on the television show, remember when we went to the gay pride parade? Yes. And that Baptist church, those hateful Baptist church people were there. And I made a sign to protest the protesters. And my big sign said power bottom with an arrow. And I stood next to the Baptist church people and like called them out for being power bottoms. And of course they just stood there. Right. You know, it's like,
Bananas. Bananas. Okay, here's one. Power bottom. Message to the thief. To the person who stole my plant and stand from my front porch, grow up. I hope you get diarrhea and stub your toe really hard. Don't walk by my house again. Nobody likes you. To my deceased grandmother who was the original owner of the plant, please kill the plant. It's not at home anymore. Okay.
She's talking about grow up and she wants them to have diarrhea. Nobody likes you. Nobody likes you. I support it. The curse, the diarrhea curse you're all in. I do because somebody stole their plant and their stand and they're mad. It was, it was the deceased grandmother's plant. And then she's like, I hope you get diarrhea and stub your toe. Nobody likes you. I kind of support that kind of trolling.
The thing is, that's all great and fine and well, but you can't start it with grow up. I support it. I mean, you just can't. And I also support cats seeking self-defense training for the permanent record. I'm all in on the cursing. I just don't think you can say grow up before you curse someone with diarrhea. That's just a personal preference. I like using Nextdoor to talk to your dead grandmother's ghost. Right. Yes. That's the perfect forum. Exactly. Okay. This person writes...
Vandalism. This is the second time in a week that someone has put cheese on my car. Someone in this neighborhood is a failure as a parent and raised a piece of garbage that can't respect other people's property. I will be filing a report with the police. Anyone that thought this was funny when this happened last time can just refrain from replying. I won't tolerate your acceptance of disrespect. And it's a slice of Kraft American cheese on the windshield.
She's the crankiest old bitch in the whole neighborhood. I saw on Twitter that on black Twitter, people wrote white people call the police like it's customer service. Yeah.
It's so true. It's so true. I would like to make a report that someone put American cheese on my car. Okay, great. We'll send the whole unit out to canvas the area. We'll send the captain out. Crime scene. I mean, we'll get everybody on it. Like, who gives a fuck? Take the cheese off. Move on down the road. It's unbelievable. It's unbelievable. Especially on this Nextdoor app. It's full of...
There's a lot of racism peppered in and that's always white people. I am going to press charges. I am going to call the police over something that is not criminal.
Cheese abuse. Right. I mean, it's just like no judge, no cop. No, but they're not going to come out there. Take the cheese off, get a wipe, wipe it off, move on down the road. Move on down the road. I mean, it's just not that hard. What a pussy. What a pussy. Okay, here's one. Women, please get off my computer. Hello.
Recently, when browsing the internet, I have noticed multiple hot single women in my area who want to meet up. Well, I do appreciate the support. And back in high school, I was quite the ladies man as captain of our racquetball team. I am now a happily married father of three lovely children and four grandchildren. So kindly.
I ask you to please leave me alone and let me browse the internet in peace. Thank you. I mean, he is just delusions of grandeur right there. I mean, he thinks he's so hot. He thinks an ad. Right. A public service announcement. That pops up for meet locals in your area, which is a paid advertisement. Right. It's about how cute he is. All of these women who personally want to meet people.
Hacking into his internet. Right. Hacking his internet because he is such a hot piece of ass. There is nothing really more hysterical than boomers on the internet. It really is funny. Do we think he's a boomer? Yeah. He has grandkids. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's real. Like I struggle sometimes with the internet. I'm not going to lie, but I get what's going on, but there is a boomer deficiency on the internet consistently. Yeah.
you know, that, that these people just kind of walk into it. That'd be like me coming in and going, Kylie, oh my gosh, George Clooney and Brad Pitt. I mean, they're all over me. They will not leave me alone because they're like advertising something. It's the same thing. Okay. This is a question for pumps attorney at law. Oh God. Can I sue my beekeeper neighbor? Yeah.
Oh my god.
The way I see it, this is equivalent to a person's dog coming into my yard to steal balls or tools, then gives it back to his owner to sell for profit. Do I have legal ground to sue? What types of things should I begin documenting in order to prepare for the legal battle? What would be a fair settlement amount if my neighbor doesn't want to take this to court? Thanks for the help.
Are we going to see how it's legitimately serious? But OK, so let's let's talk about it. So you're you this is your client. Right. OK, so what what's your legal strategy here?
Get the world's biggest fucking retainer on the planet. That's my legal strategy. Just build the shit out of it. Build the shit out of it. Because you know you could paper the shit out of that thing. I mean, I'd write letters to the neighbor, the city. I mean, everybody would get an answer to me. Get a bee expert in, a honey expert in. Right, yes. Uh-huh. I mean, still. Black market honey expert. Uh-huh.
exporting to foreign countries. Exactly. I mean, like, there's so many things I would do. Mail fraud, wire fraud. Let's get the bees on death row. Racketeering. What about all the bees on a racketeering charge? Yes, we're going to sue the bees. I think I'd probably say just get a net and just put it over your plants. I mean, it's just not a hard fix. Right. But,
But yeah, she's got bees. She's documenting though. She is. She's probably taking pictures out there. It is 1202 and her bees are taking my pollen. Okay. So here is a post that was posted during COVID, during the quarantine. Okay. Jerry posts, just a thought went out and about. When you do have to be out, please consider your address.
This might take a bit of effort, but let's avoid the temptation to go out in our PJs, house slippers, grub clothes. You don't have to dress to the nines, but maybe consider clean, neat, casual clothes, maybe some brighter colors and fun designs. It will make you feel better and also those around you. And consider the same at home. Don't fall into the not showering, men,
Don't skip shaving, even if it's just every other day. Women, maybe do a bit of makeup and consider not being in your PJs all day. Just because we are experiencing a crisis doesn't mean we have to be slobs. Yeah.
He thought about it. He likes the primary colors. Maybe tips for living. Throw in some fun designs on your outfits. Ladies, don't forget to put on a little touch of makeup. Touch of makeup. No two days without shaving. Here's the thing. I'm guilty of all that shit outside of COVID. I'm not scared to run with no bra up to the store real fast or anything. Well, I remember you would like walk into the gym and pick up your kids and you'd be in a robe. No, that was drop off.
Drop off. I would always drop off. I'm sorry, listener. It wasn't pick up. It was drop off that she walked into the school in a robe. Yeah. I mean, if I had to, I would. Not pick up, but it was drop off. Graduated into a no bra t-shirt. That makes it okay. The drop off. Don't you see the drop off? I'm sorry I even brought it up. I'm just glad she clarified. Yeah. And I would go to little convenience stores. I mean, just right in my robe.
Is that for a drop-off or a pickup at the convenience store? That was after drop-off. After drop-off and then just go ahead and run right in the convenience store in the rope. Right. Yeah. But you wouldn't have done that on a pickup. No, not on a pickup. Not on a pickup. Only a drop-off. Only a drop-off. I've had it, listeners. Yes.
Please note, acceptable to run around in robe and or PJs when you are in the drop-off phase of the day. If you're in the pickup phase of the day, we're going to go with what Jerry suggests here and consider clean, neat, casual clothes, maybe some brighter colors and fun designs. Women, just a touch of makeup and men, make sure you shave at least every other day. Right.
That's for the pickup mode. Right. But when we're heading to drop off, it's a fucking free ball. That's right. It's eat what you kill. You're wearing robes, no bras, titties hanging out, sagging dragons going from here to there. Everywhere. That's right. Right. All right, Kylie. Okay. A woman posted, apologies to anyone who might have just witnessed a lady running down the alley in her underwear yelling baloney. My dog escaped and I panicked. Okay.
Okay, listener, I have a experience of this with pumps. So when she didn't live in the suburbs, when she lived a few streets away from me, I would go to her house a lot more frequently. And this is when before Scout ran away from home, and she had the wolf in Scout, and they would get out, and she would be
I mean, sometimes just like in like real short shorts and a tank top with a boob that kind of just flopped out the side of it, kind of like a long arm tank. You know what I'm talking about? Or a robe. Or a robe, but a long arm tank with a boob that if you're running the... I remember one time I was in your front yard and you've got a piece of chicken and you've got on this like muscle tank that has a real long arm slot and these little short shorts and you run out and you're like...
Scout, Blaze, come get chicken. Come get chicken. Come get chicken. And the boob, the tank had kind of moved over and I'm standing in the driveway and I've got this laser pointer directed straight at me, chicken waving in the air. And I thought, you know, what's so refreshing about you is you just don't give a
Fuck. There's no way that you would ever go into a neighborhood app and apologize for shouting, come get chicken topless. Major side boob. Yeah. And again, this was probably in the drop-off era of the day. I doubt that this would happen in the evening. It was all day long because Blaze can open doors. And Scout encouraged that, I think. I do. I'm blaming everything on Scout because Blaze is perfect now.
Okay. Did Blaze or did Blaze not go through a period of incredible depression? Oh, no, he still does open the doors and leave. Incredible depression. About Blaze scout leaving? Yeah. No. Bullshit. No, he did not. You told me that Blaze was absolutely depressed. Maybe I blocked that out. If I told you I'd
I don't believe I said it, but I don't remember that. You told me multiple times that he was sad. Yes, that Blaze has been so depressed, he mopes around the house. But here's what you've done to his trauma. You just picked up the rug and swept that trauma right under it and then just rolled it back down and pretended like nothing's happened. I'll tell you what, that never sounds good at family week later in therapy. Parents that do this to their children, I'm telling you, it doesn't age well. I'll be with Tiffany and her martial art cat. We'll be at the animal family week.
All right. All right. I've got one here. Contractor. Linda posts this. Contractor. My ex-husband is a great contractor. David. She mentions his name. Joshua responds, looks like he got out of the contract he had with you. Linda responds, not funny. Linda's wrong. That's hilarious. Well, I think we've learned a lot today on this. But the biggest takeaway, listener, the biggest takeaway is...
the times of day that you can get away with wearing pajamas publicly, flashing titties publicly, and then when you have to be more buttoned up. So to any mothers or fathers out there,
When you're dropping your kid off at school, go and just wear your pajamas. Right. Because you're in the drop off mode of the day. Right. When you shift to the pickup portion of the day, that's when you need to have a little bit of makeup, maybe a fun design in your outfit. Per Jerry. Per Jerry. Per Jerry from the Nextdoor app. A little bit of fun design, maybe a bright color. Throw on a touch of makeup.
And then it's also completely acceptable at any time of the day, if you are trying to get your pet back inside and you don't have any clothes on, by all means, just go ahead and run out butt naked, which I totally support because you've got to get the animals secure. I love that. Sorry. Screaming baloney. That was your life.
Yeah, I was doing chicken though. Screaming, come get chicken. Come get chicken. Do you still do that to Blaze? No, I just let him get himself back in because he can get himself in and out. So I just, if he gets out, I'm just like, he'll come back and he comes back about five minutes. Peruses around, you know, does his own thing. Lets himself back in. Okay. Yeah. All right. So my dogs went outside. I would probably be one of these people that called the police. Yeah.
Running down in your underwear screaming baloney. Totally. My dogs are such titty babies, though. They would never run away. Yeah. No. He stays right in like our yard. Just right there. Well, listener, this has been a very fun episode. We love. Super fun. Next door app is gold. It's gold. I love hearing how crazy these people are. And just what they actually sit down. And I would say probably the majority of the time stone cold sober. Yeah.
Yeah, they're not doing this fucked up. And post this on the World Wide Web. Right. They're cheese offenses. New criminal. They're calling the police stone cold sober. Yeah.
Over cheese violations. Yeah. And all that other shit we did in the last episode. It was like, I'm calling the police. Right. About their Wi-Fi name. You know, everybody's calling the police. You know what would be interesting to have on this podcast is like a 911 operator. Ooh, that's a great idea. About world's stupidest 911 calls. Yes. And then like maybe the non-emergency police line.
Or just the police department receptionist. Right. That's a great idea. Because don't you know, it is just all day a jet stream of nothing burgers. Right. Come arrest someone for cheese on my vehicle. It's a huge violation. Well, listener, please go to our bios and our socials and click the tour. And you can see if we are coming to a city near you. Go to Apple and leave us five stars.
You might want to mention in the five stars how great it was to have an attorney on the podcast today. Yes. Dispensing free legal advice. I mean, I'm sorry, but there is some flower rape going on by these bees. Absolutely. She needs to be compensated. So many violations. They're hustling those flowers. Yeah. And profiting off of her flowers. What's her remedy? It's a great question. I can't wait for you to take this case to like, I guess a Supreme Court.
I bet Judge Wapner said, but Judge Judy, she's still doing it, isn't she? She's still, yeah. I want to be Judge Judy. That would be the best job on the planet. Oh, you would crush being Judge Judy. I would crush it. You would be so good at being Judge Judy. I would be so good at it. Judge Pops. All right, listener, we'll see you next Tuesday or Thursday. I'll tell you what I've had it with.
- Without the fans, there is none of this. - Wednesday, August 9th. - I'm so honored to be here. ♪ Baby, you're a rock star ♪ - America's biggest superfans meet their superstar idols. - Yeah! - And compete for a once in a lifetime prize. - That is correct! - I'm gonna take 'em through my new records all by song. - You can pick a song and we can sing it together on stage. - And the title of ultimate superfan. - It is up to you, America. ♪ Superfan ♪ - Superfan premieres Wednesday, August 9th on CBS and streaming on Paramount+.