Hate Thy Neighbor
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So are we supposed to start the podcast? One, two, three. Nailed it the first time. I mean, you are such a professional podcaster. It's insane. Clearly my talents are endless. So, you know, I love to read comments and DMs from our listener. I know you do. So this is a good one. Okay. It's a really good one. Is it hateful? No. Ugh.

It's from Brian Gunderson, and he sent a DM, which Kylie immediately screenshot and sent to me. And he says, I have to say, I am obsessed with this podcast. Jennifer and Pumps are the best. It's the highlight of my week. So nice. Jennifer is so hot. So sweet. Pumps is also as equally hot. He's just, he's hedging his bets. Yes. And then...

Kylie noticed this comment on Twitter. So Mars bitches tweeted, I want to party with Jennifer, but sleep with pumps. Is that wrong?

Outstanding. Isn't that fantastic? That is fantastic. I want to welcome everybody to I've Had It. I'm Jennifer. I'm Angie. I am the co-star of the show. I don't have time to star the show because I am an elite athlete. I play pickleball. So I defer and let pumps be the star of the show because every show can only handle one star. You are so gracious like that. And I'm the star on the pickleball court.

I don't think that's verifiable. I'm an athlete. That's why I don't have time to start to be the star of the show. That's right. I mean, I'm surprised you have time to do the podcast. Okay. Well, what have you had it with this week? What I've had it with this week and every week is when people send out an email that gives step-by-step instructions of what needs to be done or what the goal is, all of those things.

But then they also insist to have an in-person meeting to discuss the exact same points that were in the email. And not only are they discussing the exact same points, they're doing a PowerPoint presentation and putting the email on the screen. So I don't know if it's just massive grandstanding or

And they're just so desperate for attention. They have to call an in-person meeting when an email would be fine. Or do they just think everybody on the email chain is a complete fucking idiot that could never, ever figure this shit out? Okay. So first of all, I do want to say it's grandstanding. 100% grandstanding. Number two, it is like enabling stupidity.

a person should be able to deduce and figure out everything they need. But then it's like, okay, we're also going to trot you in here. But I want to ask you, give us the listener an example. Like what was this? What brought this on? What's a real life event that this happened to you? I just had to do it with my kid's school. Like we got an email, had all the pertinent information, but yet you had to go up there. Then they threw the exact same things that were in the email.

on the PowerPoint. And I'm just like, first of all, it's nighttime. We shouldn't have to go to meetings at school at nighttime. What was it about that they trot parents up to a high school? So it must have been really important. Like drugs were found in the school. What was going on? No, no, no, no, no. They'll trot you up there for absolutely nothing. I think the meeting I was in was about having a senior next year. The meeting after me was a parent meeting about the senior trip and

Again, I'm sure there has been emails sent step by step with exactly the information that was needed to those parents also. So you had to go up to the school to have a meeting about your child that drives to the school. Right. No, it was for the parents. That will be legally able to vote probably next year when he starts, right? His senior year? Yes, he will. Right.

And so this is what I have a problem with. Like when we were seniors in high school, our parents were not up at the high school. There was no parent meeting because we were of age to where we were able to start solving our own problems and meeting our own needs. Oh, no, that's absolutely not the case. I think that is...

This is this generation when they come out of this, this over schooling. And I'm not talking about academics. I think you should rigorously drill kids academically. I think the more they learn, the better. Nothing should be off limits. But having the parents up at the school is when this child goes to college, they're going to start having a lot of problems because the colleges aren't going to invite the parents to

to tour the school and to meet with their professors. It's just simply not going to happen. It's true. I know this because I have a college-age child. You do. I have two. And yes, never once has the university contacted me about anything. Yeah. So, I mean, it's just ridiculous. We don't have to have meetings when we have email. Okay. So let me tell you what I've had it with. I was watching ABC News, kind of flipping around the channels.

And they say that researchers have come up with a new study, a new report that Adderall is being abused.

This is newsworthy? I am like, I have known this for like 10 to 15 years. Feels like it's longer than that. So apparently the study was like 15 years long. Okay. And it's middle school, high school, college aged kids that are abusing Adderall, which I mean, I've known forever because we missed the whole Adderall thing. Right. I don't, it was speed back in the day. I don't,

I don't know. We missed the whole Adderall thing. And so I know that when I got to, like, when I in my early 30s, when I had kids, the girls that were younger, like in their late teens, early 20s, it was like, Oh, yeah, I took an Adderall. Oh, yeah, I took an Adderall. Oh, yeah, I took an Adderall. And I was like, God, these kids are really taking Adderall all the time. I didn't know what it was. Google it. So remember that time I had that one babysitter?

And she was with my kids. I had to go to work. I was at work like six or seven hours. I get home and my kids are like so cranky and I'm like, what's wrong? And they're like, we're starving. And I'm like, did she not feed you? And they're like, no, we haven't eaten all day long. So she wasn't hungry because she was on Adderall. And so it's like as a babysitter, you have two jobs.

feed kids pull kids out of house if kids are on fire everything else is survivable right but they were so cranky and they were like starving so I call her and I'm like hey you didn't feed my kids and she just openly admits it's like super brazen Adderall use with this generation and that she's like I'm so sorry I took an Adderall so I didn't eat all day and I'm like

What the fuck? And I left my child with this Adderall crankhead? Well, and who would actually admit that? Why wouldn't you say, oh, yeah, I fed him, but they didn't want to eat when I fixed it. I mean, don't just say, I'm a junkie, therefore I couldn't care for your children. But that's how brazen it is. Like the Adderall thing. And I think that there's like...

When we grew up, I mean, I would say that a lot of people probably when you're young have an attention deficit problem. I know I did. Right. But the solution for me was not to go get on speed. You know, like that was not even in the option. But now everybody is so hypermedicated.

I believe in Western medicine. I believe in all of the research. I think as this goes on, we're going to see the introduction of pharmaceutical companies profit from

and the manufacturing of an illness that is blown into a bigger thing, much like what happened with the opioid problem. And there's been shows and billions of dollars worth of lawsuits. I think Adderall's next. I think cracking out kids on Adderall and getting them at a very young age thinking, I can't function and I can't do normal tasks without this space.

I think it is a recipe for disaster. And I'm just, I was shocked when I saw the report. I'm like, well, duh, this is a huge problem. I think during COVID, it was like, there's a national Adderall shortage. And I'm like, well, this doesn't surprise me because all these kids are cracked out, not feeding my kids when they're babysitting my kids. Fascinating.

I've had it. I've had it with the pharmaceutical industry profiting off of addiction and getting people addicted because the residue of it is horrible. The residue of addiction is absolutely horrible. Okay. All right. So now that we've ripped through all of that, now that we've ripped the pharmaceutical companies, let's go, let's hear from our callers. Okay. At first we've got Kai W. I've had it with

Parents that don't stop their kids from interacting with me. Peekaboo is cute. For the first two times after that, I'm done. I've had it. I totally agree with her. She's 100% right. People assume that you think their baby is as cute as they do and you don't. No. It's like novel. Like she said, two peekaboos. Then it's like, hit the bricks. Yes. Entertain your own fucking kid. And it happens all the time.

It is so that the kids will come over and they start interrupting an adult stranger and they do do something cute. And you're like, oh, you're cute. And then you go back to talking with the adults that you're with. And then the kid continues and the parents just smile and giggle. Like, have I not given birth to the baby Jesus or what? Are you not so lucky that my little perfect angel wants to just bug the shit out of you and I can just sit here and allow it?

I'm trying to think back. I mean, I know that when my kids were really little, I was abundantly aware because I don't love kids. And so I was abundantly aware that, you

I love these kids, but the other people in the general public are not going to. Right. They don't think that they're near as unique as we do. Josh and I would go to a restaurant all the time, place a full blown order. We were going to sit down and eat. Within 10 minutes of placing the order, stage five meltdowns ensued. Of course. We got the stuff to go and we were out of the restaurant. Right. Immediately. It was just like, I am not going to torture these people with these kids. Right.

Yeah, no, I think that I remember at football games, watching my kids play football or cheer, whatever. They'll be like little kids that are just running all over the bleachers and they keep falling down and coming back up and doing all that. And I'm like,

Every single person around me is helping this child, but the mother. Yeah. The mother is blissfully unaware that any of this is going on with her kid. So it's like she's having the time of her life because she's got 10 other people taking care of her kid at a football game while she's leisurely watching it. Right. So it's just, it's ridiculous. No, it is. It is. I completely agree with her. I think the public service announcement to the world is,

You think your child's the greatest thing since sliced bread. Nobody else gives a fuck. Yeah. Nobody cares. It's true. And especially on an airplane, a kid at the seat in front of you that just kind of like claws its eyes up over and is just looking at you. And then the parents kind of figure out and then they go over to the crack. Right. And you're just like, you know, with your iPad or whatever. It's so annoying. It's so annoying. And the parents need to clue in that-

Sometimes people don't want to engage with children. Right. A lot of the time people don't want to say the majority. Right. I'm not a school teacher. Right. On purpose. But there's a reason I don't work at a daycare by design. Right. Yeah. You know, I'm just I'm not a school bus driver on purpose. Right. All I did all of those things because I don't like kids.

Do you know what the craziest thing is, is that my undergraduate degree was elementary education. Can you just imagine any thing worse than me as a teacher? I remember you're telling me that. And I thought that was so, so crazy, so crazy. I mean, cause I don't even like kids. No. So yeah, no. I love how she phrased it too. I've had it with you not stopping your kids from engaging with me.

I think that's a great way to put it. I agree. Okay, up next we've got Amber. Thank you so much for talking about gender reveal parties. I had a friend stop being my friend because I did not go to her gender reveal party. Now a few years later, I realized this was a blessing because she was crazy. But I literally lost a friend and she told me I did not show that I cared about her and the baby because I did not go to the gender reveal party.

Because I had to work. Thank you. Love you, ladies. I appreciate your service.

This just gets my blood boiling. It's high maintenance friends too. High maintenance friends have got to be annexed off the planet also. And the narcissism. That's what I was thinking. Like she had the balls to say that. It is so disgusting to, to make the jump. Right. That you don't care about me, nor do you care about my baby. Wah. Wah. You didn't come to my gender reveal party. Wah. I mean, grow the fuck up. Grow up. It's,

how people make a jump from, I'm sorry, I can't come to your gender reveal party because I have to work. And then they go from that, which is reality to cuckoo for Cocoa Puff land, which is you don't care about me, nor do you care about my fetus. This friendship is over that kind of track that people can follow that mental track to just catastrophize a normal situation and just make it all about themselves and

Immediately, I would cease all friendship with that person. Yeah. I think the first clue that she got she was crazy is she got mad at her for not going to the gender reveal. All's well that ends well. Yeah. But no, that I just, it shocks me even to this day how narcissistic people can be. I mean, first of all, do you know why?

I'm not coming to your gender reveal party. I have to work. You know what else? I really don't care about your pregnancy as much as you do because it's not my fucking problem or kid. Right. Like the expectation that everyone in my circle has to put their life on hold because I'm pregnant. I mean, that's just fucking nuts. It is. It's crazy. It really is. And I, I don't,

think friendships or relationships with a person like this are going to be sustainable because you have somebody that has the standard. Right. That is, it's me or the high road. Right. At all times. And that is just not a sustainable position to have.

to maintain interpersonal relationships. I think one of the reasons our friendship has been so effortless is because if you invite me to something and I don't go, it is not a big deal. Right. Don't care. And vice versa. Right. It is just not that big of a deal. I mean, you rarely come and watch me play pickleball at all these matches that I play in. And our friendship is completely tip top shape, despite you're not coming to watch me

And when I'm such a good athlete. Right. I mean, when you're in the middle of the Olympic championship every single day. Every day. Every day. But don't you think that would be selfish? I mean, she's just self-centered person. Yeah.

And that kid's going to be worse. So, I mean, this girl got out just in the next time. It's the jump from reality to complete catastrophe that, that somehow this person that can't attend this is the worst friend you've ever had. That kind of thought track or how people can jump there. Right. I have a very hard time relating to, it's like people that it's like a, it's like a crazy paranoia. It's like,

somebody that is always assuming something, you know, if somebody says, Hey, do you want to go do this? Oh, I'm sorry. I can't. Then the next time you see them, they're like, Oh, I thought you were mad at me. I'm like, Oh, I hate. What would make you think that? Well, I asked you to go have coffee and you couldn't. And I was like, exactly. Right. I couldn't that day. I fucking couldn't go have coffee. Right.

It doesn't mean I'm angry with you. It doesn't mean I dislike you. What it means is you need to go seek therapy ASAP. That's what that means is immediately go see a therapist immediately. Immediately. I think high maintenance friends. I mean, that's just a huge, huge, I've had it. And luckily we're at the stage of life that if we have high maintenance friends, they've been, they've been axed a long time ago, blackballed. Like there's no way that I could, I could take

a high maintenance friend at this point in my life. No, they've been shed. Shed long ago.

Absolutely. And these are probably the friends as well, that the minute you have a moment with them and you have a really good time, they're probably sharing something negative about another friend of theirs. Oh, right. And then, you know, the minute you're not with this friend, then you're on the chopping block. Oh, 100%. You're getting it behind the back all day long and twice on Sunday. Yeah. For sure. All right, Kylie, who's next? Up next, we've got Kendra.

Hello ladies! I'm a new listener. I actually have been listening to you guys every day before and after work catching up on all your amazing episodes and something that I wanted to share that I've had it with are neighbors.

I'm sorry, but I fucking hate them. I also don't want to live in buttfuck nowhere, but why can't we just keep it to a simple wave, smile, nod, whatever. They're so nosy. They don't mind their fucking business and I've fucking had it.

First of all, where's that accent? I love it. Like North Dakota. Where do we know? Doesn't that sound kind of Fargo? Yeah. Yeah. I like it. She's so cute sounding too. Neighbors are the worst. The worst. The worst. My neighbor experience, you're very well aware of. When I used to live by you, I got an anonymous letter. Oh, I remember. From a neighbor. It went to my ex-husband's office.

It went to our home and it was a two-page, single-spaced manifesto

About my laundry soap. I would give anything if you still had that letter. I know. The crazy letter drawer. We had one forever. She had this neighbor. So Pumps uses this laundry soap that has a little tinge of patchouli in it. Right. And what I have found out is that patchouli makes people fucking crazy. It's like the catnip for certain human beings. Oh, God.

Gotcha. Like cilantro. You either love it or hate it. Yes. Gotcha. So that laundry soap that you have, there's a 10, not a lot, but it has a little bit of patchouli and patchouli is like, there is something in certain people that patchouli sets off and they are fucking irrational about it. Right.

So much so that they wrote you that two page letter, which I know I did at least 17 dramatic readings. Oh, I know you did. And I'm just sick that we don't have that anymore. And what was so funny is she sent it anonymously. But here's what was happening before the letter came. Her little boy would come ring the doorbell if the kids if because the neighborhood kids would be back swimming in the pool.

So he'd ring the doorbell and I'd say, oh yeah, go ahead. Just go right through there and get in the pool. He was like, oh, but my mom won't let me come in your house because of the way it smells. I was like, okay, there's no mystery. Then one time Luke had gone over to their house to play and he comes home and he said,

Mrs. So-and-so made me take my shirt off before I could go in their house because she doesn't like our laundry soap. That's psychotic. So I'm like, bitch, please sign your name. Does she still live there? To the best of my knowledge, yes. I think we should write her an anonymous letter.

you know what I wanted to do? What? I wanted to take that laundry soap and pour it, like take a whole thing of it and just pour it all over her grass. I'm down. And so the next time the sprinkler came on, it was just suds, bubbles of that. I'm down. I know. I mean, wasn't that really an idea? You'd do that, wouldn't you? Yeah, that's amazing. Richard, you in?

Yeah. I mean, that is so one of your sorority sisters lives like catty corner across the street. Love her. She's great. She has kind of a psychotic dog that barks nonstop that she's had to send to boarding school a couple of times. But the dog is really sweet. And so, you know, I kind of dogs can do no wrong. And then I brought my very, very next door neighbor.

is crazy. I mean, he is absolutely nuts. He thinks that there's like rats on the loose in the neighborhood. There are no rats in the neighborhood. But prior to the house that I live in now, my house before. So this German lady from Germany, the full blown German accent lived across the street from me. I remember her. Yeah. How a German ends up in Oklahoma City. I don't know, but she was.

So the day that I give birth to my first son, I come home from the hospital. Josh and I take him up to his room, put him in his crib. Josh is like, I'm going to the office. I'll see you in a little bit. I'm like, okay, we'll be just fine. So I'm upstairs watching him sleep, making sure he's breathing, saying to myself, holy shit, he fucking lives here. So-

The doorbell rings. So I'm like, oh shit, what do I do? Do I watch the baby sleep? Right. Or do I go down to the door? Right. So I go downstairs, open the door and it's the German woman. And she's like, I have come to see the baby. And I was like, okay, okay. He's sleeping right now. Like we just got home from the hospital. So come upstairs with me. So she comes upstairs. I said, don't touch him. Let's let him sleep. She immediately scoops in, picks Dylan up.

and she looks at Dylan and then looks at me and she says, how could anyone abort a child? Yeah.

And you're like, how did I let you in my house? I was like, give me my baby back. Get the fuck out of my house right now. So I'm like, oh, like I'm thinking, first of all, we're not going to talk about abortion. You nut. Because I've seen the portrait of Jesus Christ you have over your fireplace. So I know this conversation is going nowhere. So I like get Dylan back, put him back in his crib. I'm like, OK, I've got it. I need to go to the restroom. Like, you know, I just got from the hospital. I'm trying to get her out, get her out, get her out of the house.

And then she starts coming over more and more when you talk about religion, whatnot. And it's just like, go away. Go away, you psycho. Right. I mean, complete psycho. And obviously she was totally watching you if she saw you pregnant. Yeah. And then sees you bring home the baby and she's over there immediately, which that's just rude from the jump. Yeah. But what she was wanting to do, she's one of these crazy pro-lifers that wanted to come over and...

And she probably saw our political signs in our yard, you know, which she knew that we were progressive. And so she had seen that. And so then she wants to come over and start the day that I bring my child home. Some talk about abortion and I'm like, get the fuck out.

You're like, it's not the same thing as a baby. Well, I'm just like, first of all, I'm not having this conversation with a close-minded nut. It's not happening. I don't want to be your friend. I can't believe that we're neighbors, but I'll get past it, but get the fuck off my property. Right. Hated her. Yeah. No, the neighbor thing, because I have a great neighborhood in that it's a wave, say hi, all that neighborhood. And then I have friends in my neighborhood. So that's good. But-

I don't, the people that are the nosiest though, you don't have this in Nichols Hills, are the homeowners association people. Like,

Like they'll fire up letters about, I need everybody to weed their flower bed. We need you to move your trash cans, which, you know, my response is go fuck yourself. I'll do whatever I want. Right. But I mean, it's like, are you going to arrest me? I mean, what are you going to do to me? Fucking nothing. Homeowners associations are, it's a Petri dish. Right. For just breeding busy body people that want to get all up in other people's business. Right. That have a ton of time on their hands.

Because they're obviously retired if they're going to spend this much time worried about the homeowners association. I think it's like toxic breeding grounds, the homeowners associations. No, it's bad. But my neighbors themselves are great. Right. My neighborhood's great. But yeah, no, the homeowners association can't take it. Neighbors coming over with newborns. I mean, it's just ridiculous. Totally ridiculous. And I'll tell you what, this reminds me.

So a victim's protective order is when someone is domestically abused or there's some kind of dating relationship that ends in violence, whatever. But it's a VPO, victim's protective order. Thank you, counselor. But I'm telling the story now. That's why I'm doing it. I was just thanking you. The bench was thanking you for your legal description. So I cannot, when I've been on that docket with clients, I cannot even tell you how many

People are trying to get protective orders against their next door neighbors. I mean, it's a classic. Like they're throwing people's, they're doing the trash cans, like stealing trash cans, fucking with cars. I mean, it's just unbelievable what people just get fired up about their neighbor.

It's crazy that as a species, like what's good for us is to be connected with other human beings, but it's also really bad for us and makes us crazy. Like you and that patchouli detergent. Kylie, do you have any crazy neighbors? I don't. I have great neighbors because I've lived there for six years and I've never met any of them. Oh, that's perfect. I do have a story about your neighbor though.

The guy that is right next door? The rat guy, I think. Yeah, he's the one who keeps telling me, I saw a rat. Have you seen the rat? I'm like, I haven't seen a rat. You hired my girlfriend, Anna...

as you affectionately refer to as little baby angel Spitfire. Yes. She is. She's a little baby angel Spitfire. She is. So she comes over to do your closet. Yeah. Organize it. She's going in and out all day. She leaves a couple of times and comes back and she's parking on the street. Right. By your driveway. Right. Cause she didn't deem her Nissan Rogue good enough to be in your driveway. She's like, I'll park in the street. So she leaves another time. She comes back and the neighbor, uh,

had taken his car out of his driveway and put it in her spot so that she couldn't park there. So she parks on the other side and then she's walking up. Josh is out there greeting her and he runs out and like, don't park or you cannot park in the street in front of my house. But he moved his own car in the exact same spot in front of his own house so that there wouldn't be a car there. Let me tell you what's going on with this motherfucker. Let me tell you.

So he's probably about 75 to 80. All right. And he's got adult children that are all my age and they all live in this house together. There's always about six cars and the neighborhood that I live in, it's like a city within a city and you cannot park on the street overnight. So they have to like,

you know, tandem park all these cars in the driveway. And I think they've owned this house for like 40 or 50 years. It's been in the family and everybody's going to die there. And I'm like, he's just, he's cuckoo for Cocoa Puffs. I avoid him at all costs because anytime I'm even remotely close to being in the driveway, I see him start to come over and I immediately just have to speed up because I, my goal is to pull in my garage and,

And close my garage door before I even get out because I cannot take it from this guy. And here's what's the thing about neighbors. His car was completely parked. Right. But he couldn't stomach that Anna was parking close to his driveway. So he's got to get out, move his car, and then confront the cutest little thing you've ever seen in your life. Which, by the way...

If he would have fucked with her, Anna totally would have kicked his ass. Right. She could have taken him even though she's a little tiny. She weighs about 100 pounds, but I would not fuck with her. No, I wouldn't either. She could kick all of our asses. All of us. Collectively. Yes. Yes. But that's the same thing as this woman that was wound up about your... Yeah. Laundry step. Laundry step. I hope she listens to this podcast. I hope that you're listening. The person that wrote the...

anonymous letter to Angie. We know who you are and we think you're a fucking cunt. We know and we're going to tell everybody your true identity, not on the podcast, but in real life. Everybody knows what you did. And as long as we're sending messages, if you still have that manifesto you wrote me about my laundry soap on your laptop, will you send it to me again so I can have a copy of it?

I mean, when we were bored, we'd be like, I guess we'll just get out the letter. I was like, get out the letter. Let's do a dramatic reading. It was awesome. It was like she went into detail like nobody even likes to come over to your house. All the moms are talking about how your kid stinks. And I feel so bad for your kids. And I think it's being a bad mother. I mean, it was so deliciously psychotic. It's one of those things that you realize like,

She had so many opportunities to not deliver this letter. Right. And she did. She sat down at her computer. Right. And knocked out two pages, single spaced about my laundry soap. I mean, that's just fucking a whole nother level. And then attached it to how nobody likes you and nobody likes your kids because you all fucking stink. Right. Right.

And then she explains, remember she explained nose blind to me in medical terms. Oh yes. Yes. In medical terms, like what that meant. And there was a tinge of empathy in it. Right. Like most of it was motherfucking, but there was that tinge of, I realized that maybe you have become nose blind, but that, and that's when she went to, but everybody can smell it and nobody likes you. Right. And I was like, nobody likes your kids. I guess I'll just have to move through this world alone. So listener and Kylie, this was the funniest thing. So,

When she, when Poms and her husband were getting divorced, she put herself on a budget. She's like, I can't buy that laundry soap anymore. I just can't justify it.

Well, then the minute the divorce was final, she's back to practicing law again. I noticed the smell. It immediately came back. Immediately. Now you're back on the detergent again. Yeah, I'm back on it. I love it. You do love it. I do love it. And it's, you know, laundry is kind of my thing. I like doing. It's my household chore I like to do. Right. So I like to smell good. Well, I mean, I just love when I get in my bed, my sheets smell so good. What a bitch. What a bitch. You know, she did give me a gift when I moved though.

fuck her. No, I know, but I'm just saying that's how I'm, but that just shows the duplicity of this personality to be so duplicitous to send you an anonymous. Fuck you. Nobody likes you. Nobody likes your kids. You all stink. And then, oh, by the way, here's the gift. You know why she gave you a gift. She's so fucking happy to see you and your stinky kids move away. That's why she gave you a gift. That's probably right. She was like, don't let the door hit you in the ass.

Okay, up next we've got David.

Jennifer and Pumps, I love the podcast. My name is David from Denver, Colorado. And I have had it with people making lateness a personality trait. That is not some sort of character flaw. This is something that you can easily correct if you figure out how time management works. If I'm supposed to meet up with you at noon, it's not 1230. It's not 1245. It's not even 1220. It's noon.

You know, I will give a grace period of maybe 15 or 20 minutes depending on who the person is. But these people that are consistently late over and over again, it makes me absolutely crazy. And I really have no interest in spending time with them.

Okay. First of all, David sounds hot. Yeah, he does. I mean, what a great voice. Yeah, he does. Second of all, David, I have a problem with this too, because I myself am incredibly punctual and I like that you did the psychological analysis that somebody starts making it like, Oh, it's just me. It's my personality trait. And let me give you an example in real time. Okay.

Prior to filming the episode that you and the listener are listening to right now, Pumps was supposed to be here at the studio. And what she does when she's running late is she sends a little text like, hey, I'm going to go get everybody lunch. No, I really was going to stop and get that. Right. But then it then you are even later. Right. And it's OK because you brought food in. OK, but a point of order.

The text message, which I can get right now, said 11 to 1130. I arrived at 1111. It said 11 to 1115. Okay, but then I was early. No, you arrived around 1116. No, I didn't. We're filming a podcast. You should be here at 1055. Okay, here's what I'm going to say to that. Fuck off. You can't give short term. You can't give like between here and there. True or false. True or false. True or false. True or false. True or false. True or false.

You are consistently a punctual person. It depends on what it is. That was not one of the options that I gave you. Well, then, yes, I'm very punctual. I arrive on time. That is a jet stream of bullshit. No, that is not a jet stream of bullshit. David, David, David. I'm a thousand times better about you. David. Because I know it bothers you, so I try to be better. But I would say generally I'm punctual. Yes.

Not as punctual as you, but I am punctual. I would never be 15 minutes late. Okay. That's probably true. I've seen some times. Do you want to pull them out? When were they? I don't know, but I'm going to start. I'll just start adding a new chapter to the permanent record that we're keeping here in the podcast studio. Times that Angie was late and Kylie and Richard, you can make an entry for today's date on

And write pumps one minute late to recording. No, I was not. I was early. No, because I wasn't. It was like 1111 in the permanent record. I would like a picture of the screenshot. And then I will do the whole like throw off the sent text that she sent where she was talking about getting. I was going to get I've been thinking every time I come here, I was going to go get that Asian salad. David.

David, I agree with you. I hear you. I agree that people make it like, oh, I'm just always late. I never know what's going on. Or I'm so sorry this happened and then I got a phone call. That's your thing. I was like, I'm sorry I'm late, but this happened and then that happened. I shut down everything to where I arrive on time. So the people that I'm arriving to meet don't have to hear me.

The stuff that went on before because I eliminated that stuff that went on before so I would be on time. So I think next time I'm running late, I'll just shoot you the double birds and tell you to go suck a bag of dick. So that way you won't have to hear an excuse. I'll just say go fuck yourself. We'll just keep it in the permanent record, David. I think for the permanent record, everyone needs all the facts. And in my short time here.

I have witnessed you completely forget about filming an episode. I did. Because you were at Pickleball and we had to call you. You still didn't remember on the phone. You called back, finally remembered and showed up about 20 something minutes late. This happened. Have you ever had to wait on me, Kylie, to film? I really haven't. Okay, so. Oh, that's bullshit. No, I will admit.

so punctual about all this. I will admit that there was a time that we were filming an episode and it was like 530 or 6 p.m. which I shine in the mornings. I like to keep normal work hours. I believe with

Religiously in a work-life balance, you know And so I would rather have a meeting at 7 a.m. Than at 6 p.m. I'm better. I'm sharper. I'm crisper, right? And i'm 48 years old now. I own my own business. So I set up my days as such so this 6 6 30 7 p.m Recording that we did was such a dick over. I think I went into denial about it

And you're right. I completely, I was supposed to come directly from pickleball to this recording studio. Right. I started dicking off with my friends after pickleball and hooting and hollering.

Talking about everybody's shots and probably talking about all my victories. I mean, I can see how titillating it would be to rehash your pickleball match ball by ball, hit by hit. But then I called you and you were like, why are you psychodialing me? Like you called me back because I called you twice and you're like, what do you want? Why are you psychodialing me? I'm like, we're waiting on you for the podcast. It didn't occur to me. Right. Even when you were, when I was like,

Psycho-dialing you. If anyone's wondering which episode it is, it's the one with Pumps' infamous headband. Headband. Where were you two assholes when that thing was going on? We both agreed we were going to come straight from workout. So I have that band on. There's like a hair pulling out and you two dicks are just sitting here acting like it looks good. First of all, I think that was Kylie's very first day. I think that's right. Richard, it wasn't your first day. I'll tell you what my situation was.

I was so shocked by the entire thing, by the band, by the hair going out. And all these things are going through my head all at one time. Like, how does a person get out of the house looking like this? How does a person walk into a room and sit down in front of cameras like this? And it's all like just rapid fire through my brain, through my brain, through my brain.

And I think I just thought if you don't have anything nice to say, just don't say anything at all. Like that's ever stopped you. Ever. You've never lived by that. I was fearful that if you took the headband off, it was going to go from bad to worse. Well, you could have at least gotten the squirrely hair thing out. I came straight from workout. And so I never, I kind of forgot I had it on, which it probably would have been worse if I would have taken that off. That's what I was afraid of. Because it was sweaty. But...

But yeah, I look back on that and I think these two are not true friends. These are not a friend in need is a friend indeed helper at all. Just rude.

Jennifer, I think if you had been on time that day, you probably would have had time to help your friends. That's right. Thank you, Kyle. Yes. Yeah, it was. I mean, it was alarming. Sometimes I go back and look at our reels that Kylie's made and I see that and I just chuckle. What in the fuck was wrong with her? Well, I have to wear a headband when I work out because I don't want sweat to get in my lashes.

Yeah, I wear one too when I play pickleball. Yeah. So I get that. But I was, I had taken mine off. I think by the time I got here, I'd forgotten I had it on. Yeah. I mean, it wasn't like a conscious, oh my God, I look so good. It's in the permanent record now. It is absolutely in the permanent. In fact, when we set up my dating profile, I think that's the picture. That is the picture. Let's see how far that one rides. I like it. I like it.

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