Finely Aged Narcissism
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So are we supposed to start the podcast? Ready? One, two, three. I mean, she absolutely nails it. I have an emergency announcement. We're no longer calling her Judge Judy Diana because Judge Judy endorsed Nikki Haley. Right. So that's a no for me. And Pumps lives in a liberal echo chamber. And so now she's just... Rejecting that. Princess Diana. Right.

All right. If you hear panting in the background, it's because my biological son, my firstborn, Tebby, wanted to be on the podcast today because his daddy is here with us.

Josh Welch, whom we will get to in just a moment. Pumps, what have you had it with? What I've had it with, and this reminded me a little bit of Josh, are stupid dad jokes that people think are funny. Because you've told a couple recently that were bad. You've been trafficking in those. You've been trafficking. And those are beneath you. You're too cool for dad jokes. Can we hear an example? Well, I have examples, but I can't remember the ones you tell. Okay.

So these are just random examples that people say that I'm just like, it's not cute nor funny nor interesting. Shut the fuck up. So we're going to start this a little feisty. A little feisty today. Okay, let's get it. What did the beach say to the ocean? Nothing. It just waved. That's not funny. That's not interesting. That's stupid. I agree. I don't think I've ever been. Yours haven't been that bad. But I remember a couple times in Mexico, I was just like,

Why is he saying that? So dad jokes, they're stupid. I don't know why men tell them I've had it with it. It's kind of like you see all the dads at the basketball games are all wearing like the puffer vest, just the best. They all have the, you know, the kind of the bro. Hey, hey, you know, fist bump like dad to dad. It's just kind of.

I refuse to participate in any of that. What about the dry fit dads that wear dry fit as a dress shirt? I see it every day. I see it in the workplace. You see the Under Armour dry fit shirt with a collar on it that's being substituted as a dress shirt. It's a complete violation. It looks horrible. It's fraud. Okay, let me tell you guys what I've had it with. I've had it with when you're giving somebody information over the phone. Could be your dress.

your phone number, your social security number, your credit card number. Okay, so you start in

Okay, the number is 1, 2, 3, 4. There's about a two-second pause. And so you think they've got it. Right. And then you go on to 5, 6, 7, 8. But within that two-second beat of giving the first four numbers, you think you're clear to speak again. And then right as you start to cough up five, they go, uh-huh. So then you're speaking on top of each other. And they can't get the number. Or they start to repeat it.

One, two, three, four. And so there doesn't seem to be a universally accepted method

And transferring information from phone call to phone call where it works for everybody. Because sometimes the receiver, you can go one, two, three, four, and that immediately goes one, two, three, four. And then you're clear to go five, six, seven, eight. And they go five, six, seven, eight. And you're like, okay, we are communicating. We are in sync. We are crushing everything that we have to crush on this phone call. And then you've got these people that are lollygagging.

information takers and the lollygaggers way to beat. And then they think, okay, I'm going to start speaking here. And you try to get into a rhythm. You try to get into rhythm with these people, but it never works. And you're constantly stepping on top of each other's words. I've had it. It happens to me with pizza hut all the time where I'm giving it in the credit card number. And you know, there's four series of four numbers. Right.

So, you know, and I'll give about the eighth or ninth and then they'll say something and it throws the entire thing off. You have to start four, seven, one, eight, blah, blah, blah. So I know exactly what you mean because me and you say me, Pizza Hut and I.

Really get after it. You know, I just to those out there that are receivers of information, you have a business where you receive information. Try to be a good receiver.

Try to absorb the information. And right after they say it, you repeat it right back. So then you don't have to at the tail end do the ultimate final repeat. Right. You can just repeat four numbers along the way. If it's an address, you could say one, two, three, and they'll say one, two, three, Main Street. And then you say Main Street. You don't pause. You don't hesitate. Be a good receiver of information. Otherwise, you become content on a very irrelevant podcast. Yeah.

That's right. In the country. And we could also take it a step further and just say, maybe work on just being a good person. Right. Try just a little harder. You don't just have to be able to give us the digits back in a sync way. We just want you also just to be nice. Be cordial. Welcome to I've Had It Podcast. I'm Jennifer. I'm Angie. She is the podcaster formerly known as Judge Judy Diana for reasons aforementioned.

Today we have a very special guest. He is my life partner, my husband, the father of two of my four children. The first, my biological children, Cha-Cha and Tubby, I am both the mother and the father. Yes. But we do have some human children, Dylan and Roman, of which he is the sperm donor. Josh, what have you had it with today?

Well, so recently I turned 55. Yes. Believe it or not. For all the listeners out there and viewers, I'm sure they don't think that I look 55. But I've noticed, and this is my had it, I've had it with the window of opportunity for me to use the restroom and complete my morning ritual before I leave the house has gotten shorter and shorter and more unsuccessful. Yes.

And as I leave the house for the day, I find myself kind of venturing off into no man's land. And what no man's land is the time in which anything can happen as it relates to having to use the restroom. So let me give an example. So I work out with a trainer five days a week for one hour each day at about 7 a.m. So I wake up around 5, 530, try to have coffee, try to read the news, try to...

use the restroom and then go work out. Sometimes I'm unable to use the restroom. So one day in particular, I was working out and in the course of my workout, I tell my trainer, a female trainer, her name is Tina. She's fabulous. Tina, I have to go use the restroom. So I hop up at the gym. You know, I think I was doing crunches or something. I don't know what I was doing. I go use the restroom. And then I realized I'm wearing these kind of short workout shorts.

I realized that I have dribbled all over the front of them to where it literally looks like I've been sprayed with a water hose. Sorry, urine dribble? Urine dribble. Is this... How did this happen? Prior to the pee, after the pee? I need more details. It was after the pee, and that relates to my... I've had it because...

As you get older, you just don't control the afterflow. Right. It just, it just, you know. What do you do? Do you shake? Do you shake a wiener? You shake and you shake it. But literally it takes longer and longer to shake. So you just, you know, and I was in a hurry to get back to her. And so I peed in the urinal, shaked, pulled my shorts up. Yeah.

everywhere. I mean, it looks like I've been sprayed with a water hose. No, I mean, it's like damp areas. It's like it's damp. And so then I'm thinking to myself, so I'm in the restroom and I'm thinking, shit, I've got to go back out to her and it's going to be so obvious that I pissed on myself. I mean, it's just...

And so I'm just like, and I, you know, the longer I stay in there, the more suspicious this whole thing is going to look. Because then she's thinking, what's he doing in there? You know, so I bolt out immediately. I grab, there's some workout towels in there. They're pink and yellow. I grab one immediately and I just literally put it kind of walking with it as if I'm using it for something. And then I,

You know, she tells me to do, I think I was doing curls. And so then I'm like, oh shit, I'm gonna have to put the towel down. So I put the towel down and do the curls and, and I'm right in front of the mirror in the gym. Right. I know that she sees it and I don't really know what to say. It's like, yeah, I pissed on myself. I'm sorry. It's like, I mean, what do you do? So I just sat there and just kind of worked out and, and kind of tried to dry it a little bit, you know, and,

And eventually it dried up, but it took 15 or 20 minutes and she didn't say anything about it. But it was painfully obvious what had happened. Let me ask you this. Is there any odor associated with said spraying? No, no. I mean, it's just so as you get older, like the direction in which the pee goes becomes more of a wild card. Yeah.

You don't know. I mean, you can literally be standing right over the commode and then you look down and there's water all on the floor. And it's like, how did that happen? It's like, you got to literally be going that way, that way. And it's like, so, um, and that's just one, one occasion that I've had. There's, there's been others where I've had to get up and, you know, go use the restroom, like number two, um,

And then you're gone about 12, 13 minutes and you come back and, you know, just like, it's kind of like everybody in the gym knows like, where's that guy been? Oh, he's been gone that long. Oh, wow. Yeah. You know, so it's just an, all of that stems from not being able to take care of business before I leave the house.

And all of that stems from getting a little bit older. So you're just ill-prepared. I think Pumps had some questions for you relating to this new age of 55. Okay. Yeah, I was thinking the other day, how would you describe your appearance and your style? I've known you for longer than Jennifer, like 30 years.

So let's say 30s, 40s, 50. What's the evolution of Josh Welch? Well, in the 30s, I would have been about a five or a six. I want to pause one second here to let the people who are not watching this on YouTube know that.

the delight that flooded Josh Welch's facial expressions after Pumps asked the question that was probably pertaining to every decade of Josh's life. It was pure ecstasy. The question is about me. The question is about me and it encompasses decades of my life. I can't wait to share about this. So in my 30s, I think that was when I developed a pretty bad opioid problem.

Yeah, I remember that. And so as a result of that, I got real puffy. I got real fat. I ate a lot of pizza late at night. I ate cheeseburgers, ice cream, took a lot of pills, drank a lot of beer. So I probably weighed about 260. You know, I didn't dress very well. I would give myself about a five or a six. In the 40s, I was sober most of it, but not all of it.

dropped some weight to where I was about 205, 210. So I was about a seven, seven and a half in my fifties. And for those of you that aren't watching, um, you should, because I, I would say now I'm about a nine and a half or a 10 and I'm a lean one 80, six foot three.

I thought you just upgraded yourself to 6'4". Well, yeah, that's right. I forgot. I'm on my driver's license at 6'4 now. I've changed it for the first time at age 54. Right. He came home and announced to the boys and me. He said, I just want everyone to know I just went ahead and gave myself an upgrade. I'm no longer 6'3". I'm now 6'4". In my 50s. Right. You're growing instead of shrinking. Yeah.

So I think I'm as fit as I've ever been. I've got great hair. My skin, I think the people watching would agree, looks amazing. What about your tennis game? Is it better now? Yeah, it's better. I'm more athletic. I look pretty good with a shirt off.

I manscape now. I mean, there's just a million reasons to tell the listener why I'm a 10. On the app. If you could just, since we've talked about your physical experience, could you share with the listener how your self-esteem has evolved? Well, over a period of time, I wasn't very proud of my appearance or my behaviors.

But as I regained confidence and got sober, restored relationships, I began to love myself much more than I ever had before. It's overflowing now. You're kidding. To the point to where some people may claim that I'm narcissistic or conceited. Are you talking about our therapist? Yeah. Some people are.

Some people may think that, but I think I'm just confident in who I am. Listener, for this episode of I've Had It, we've partnered with eHarmony, the dating app to find someone you can be yourself with. Pops, what's going on out there on the dating apps? It's unbelievable how many people try to be something they're not on dating apps.

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Well, I want, thank you, Josh, for that exercise in humility. I want to share with the listener a rather funny story about our family and our beloved cat,

Kitsky. As everybody knows, I've mentioned our cat on the podcast before that she had diabetes, quit taking care of herself. At one point she had asthma. She completely let herself go. She used to sled around, but not anymore. She was tramping around. She tramped around the neighborhood. She's let herself go. She barely leaves my bedroom. She basically lives her life in isolation.

We love on her as best we can, even though she's making it more and more difficult to love her. But we got this cat in 2009. We named her Kitsky, K-I-T-S-K-Y. She is female, okay?

And for years, Josh would say to me and the boys, that cat is blah, blah, blah. He is such a nightmare. The cat did him or go get him. And then he would ask me multiple times, what's that cat's name again? And he referred to the cat as Catsky. And we're talking the cat's about 12 when he's doing this.

So around we have a cat that comes we have a vet that comes to the house to care for the pets. But at one point, the vet that came to the house said that the cat had to go to the actual veterinarian office for some sort of exam. I was traveling for my interior design job.

Again, for the listener, I want to remind everybody at the time that this happened, this veterinarian visit, the cat was 12 years old. So we'd had the cat for 12 years. I said, Josh, you've got to take the cat to the vet. She needs care. He said, okay, I'll take the cat to the vet.

And then we get the following message from the veterinarian office. And I just want to remind everybody we had had Kitsky, the female cat, for 12 years. Josh drives the cat to the veterinarian office and we get this voice memo.

Hi, this is Allison calling from Glen Eagles Pet Hospital. And we were just calling to let you know that Cassie is a she. So we have a female cat. And also to let you know that we're going to run some blood work just to check all organ function and blood cell function, make sure all is well. And we're also going to run a feline triple test, which will test for any feline infectious diseases.

And then upon examination, Dr. Mullet noticed that the lung found a little harsh. So you can imagine my surprise when we get this voice memo, this voice message from the veterinarian. Josh has driven a cat that we've had for 12 years to the veterinarian, filled out the paperwork, and gave the name Catsky and checked male for the gender. Okay.

Let me ask you this. Did the lady say that Catsky? Did she repeat the name? She definitely said Catsky. Catsky is a she. Catsky is a she, you stupid dumb fuck.

Now, I assume I was unemployed and in the midst of a horrible relapse when this happened. Is that right? You're hoping. I'm hoping. Yeah. Okay. Wow. That is a blast from the past. I don't know that I have any excuses that would be suffice to explain that. Catscape. For 12 years straight, you referred to the cat...

As a male. And that drove the kids and I crazy. We'd be like, it's a girl. Yeah. I don't know why it just didn't register with me. I guess I just didn't. Maybe because it's not about you. And I didn't have any interaction with Kitsky really that much. You know, I feel bad now. Sure. She really cares.

We were laughing. That poor cat. Now it doesn't have diabetes anymore. You're going to have that cat forever. So here's the deal. The cat has had asthma. I had a cat inhaler. I had to do this inhaler thing. I nursed her back to health. She no longer has asthma. The cat gets diabetes. I give her her insulin shot. The vet comes for her. She's 15 or 16 years old now for her quote unquote senior checkup. And I'm thinking, okay, the blood work's going to come back.

She's going to have cancer. We're going to put her down. The vet says, great news on Kitsky. Her diabetes is in remission. Remission. Wow. You guys, this cat. I mean, I give pumps shit about Blaze, the dog, her openly gay Siberian Husky. And we love Kitsky and we care for her. But I, it's just, she's been around a long time. Yeah. She's completely let her surface go. She's not...

You know, you've got to be a good pet as well. It's a two-way street. Yeah, she's not a very good pet. She doesn't pee in her box. Well, there's no interaction anymore between the humans and the cat. It's just like... She might have dementia and just have to kind of roll around by herself. Yeah, it's just kind of sad. I don't know what to do about it other than to continue just to ignore her. I brush her because she's quit grooming herself, so I brush her, but...

I don't know. I wanted, you know, with all this Gypsy Rose stuff coming about, it's made me think about Munchausen by proxy quite a bit.

And as everybody knows, Pumps shaves her Siberian Husky. And the Siberian Husky is having health problems. And we are in the throes of an Arctic blast. And so I'm wondering if there's some much-housed by proxy with Pumps and Blaze. And because she told me today, we were peeing before we started the podcasting, she said...

Blaze is so cute. He runs up to me freezing cold and I put the blanket all around him and he cuddles up to me. And I thought, where have I heard something like this before? Oh, that's right. Gypsy Rose Blanchard is where I've heard this before. Well, it's funny because Sam, when I was running him up to the vet all the time, thinking he needed a different test, Sam was like, I think you have Munchausen by proxy. He's not sick, blah, blah, blah. So then I

I forwarded him the text the vet sent me the last time. He had to come in and apologize. He was like, you were right. You noticed stuff that I didn't notice, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I don't think that it's the fact that he's cold that he's coming up and snuggling. We're just such a little spoon couple. After all of these tests that the veterinarian has done, my only remaining question is, have they tested him for hypothermia? Have they ruled that out?

I don't know that there's been a specific test, but I think it's never come to my attention in all of the tests that we've run. They haven't said we've ruled out hypothermia. They've never said we've ruled out hypothermia, but they've never given me any indication that we might have hypothermia. Okay. Do you shave Blaze so that he'll be cold and you can... No, I shave Blaze so that he doesn't shed because he's a big shudder. Like if I had on Jennifer's outfit and I sat at my house and Blaze wasn't shaved, it would just be covered with white because he's white.

But they did shave him for one of his tests, like completely. Like Kylie and Jennifer tease me that I like shave him, shave him like you can see his skin. I thought Blaze had ran off at one point. That's Scout. That's her other dog. No, I don't want to. That's Blaze's sibling. No, no, no, no, no. That was like a.

What an interloper in our lives that just had every like 10 years. It was too long. Every day was one day too long. Listen, I'm not nuts about my cat anymore, but you know what? I'm not giving up on her. She just got a clean bill of health. Yeah. When that cat started not peeing in the litter box, that would be it for me. Well, she, that's it. We have a puppy pad down and she, she sticks her front paws in. And so she's half in the litter box and then she pees on the puppy pad. And then we have to clean that up. And I'm telling you, it's taken every bit of me to love this cat.

through her advanced age. But I think, you know what? I do this with pumps in your advanced age. I can do it with the cat. I'll tell you what though. So what, I'll start peeing on myself. You'll be fine with it. I just thought about maybe I should start putting some of the puppy pads around the toilet when I pee. There you go. Great idea. That way it would catch all the residue. Okay. I have two questions on that. I'm glad you brought that back up.

Can you dab at the end? Like after you tinkle, could you just get some paper, like some toilet paper and just kind of do the dab? You could, but there's not really any paper towels that are within. I mean, they're at the sink. So I'd have to. Oh, there's no toilet paper at the urinals. Oh, okay. And then what about. You see what I'm saying? And some of them are just air dry. So I can't just go over there and air dry. I think you, I mean, maybe you could air dry. I don't know. It might burn your sensitive skin there. Yeah, I just wouldn't. And I guess you can't sit down at a urinal.

That's my obvious next question, but you can't. No, not there. No. No. That was a great question, Pops. Well, I mean, I was thinking that they had toilets so you could sit down at a toilet, but...

Yeah. That's a tough stuff because I always make fun of men when they walk out of the bathroom and they have a little pee dribble. It's one of my favorite things. Whoever I'm with, I'm always like, oh my gosh, look, I got a pee dribble. I was mortified. But mine wasn't just a little bit. It was like, what did I say? The majority of it for the end here? What happened? Like I didn't understand it.

Okay. So Josh, I don't know if I've told you this, but Pumps and I have this Patreon thing for the podcast. Okay. And things have escalated in the Patreon club so much so that we've started a cult. Okay.

And we're all in a big cult. We're all a big cult because what we do is we watch these documentaries. Most of them are about cults because we like to watch cults because it makes us feel like we've got our shit together. Look how fucked up they are. We really got our shit together. So as things started developing on the Patreon club, we've escalated to basically it being a cult.

Pamps and I are the cult. I like that. We're the cult leaders. It's the cult of the titty mamas. We're the titty mamas. And then the members of the cult are the titty babies. Titty babies. And so the titty babies have a lot of perks. And I've asked them to send questions in. So these are questions from the cult. Cult questions with Josh. For me. Questions from the cult for Josh Welch. Okay, perfect. Perfect.

From the Titty Babies. Yeah, from the Titty Babies. Tara, cult member, says, Josh, please, while recording, do your narration of Jennifer. Dying to hear and see that. Narration. You know how I get up and I'm walking and you're like to the boys, Mama's is getting candy. Okay, so here's what happens is I'm sitting on the sofa.

Jennifer will be in her bedroom and she'll come out and I'll hear her kind of creeping around the kitchen. Then we have this candy bowl and it's huge. And we have everything in it from lemon drops to sweet and sour chewies to you name it chocolate. So anyway, when you've been with someone, as long as I've been with Jennifer, you get to know all of their little sequences of habits. Like, and I know with her, like,

Yes. Because it's, you know, the palate is just right. It's primed. Yeah, primed. So...

In the evening, when I hear her come out, I know that this is her trying to make her palate perfect for the gun. So she comes out and I hear just, you know, kind of the candy kind of bristling around. And I get up off the sofa and I kind of look and I go, Mama's coming back for another round, huh?

And then she'll dart off to the bedroom. And then, you know, about 20 minutes later, she comes back out. She wants to wet her whistle again. She hasn't had enough candy.

And so she'll do it again. Then I'll notice again, oh, coming back for another round, huh? Jennifer Denise. And you just can't let it slide. No, no. I want to point it out. I want to draw attention to it. And the boys and I have so much fun. Okay, let me ask you this. Narrate what she's doing right now, if you were just able to narrate it. Well, right now she's in kind of boss bitch mode. Okay. And she's making sure that everybody is taking care of business, that we're acting professional.

that there's not any violations. If there were to be any violations, she would give us kind of the evil side eye.

Yeah. She does do like, God damn, what are you doing? You fucking idiot. Stop. That look. I've seen it. Yeah. Kylie, have you seen it? I think we've all, you know, just, just like horns are growing out of the top of her head. Right. Yeah. She's so fucking mad that whatever we've done to piss her off, but the best about her is. So the other night, I hate to intervene and tell this story, but it was 3 a.m. And in the middle of the night, I hear her screaming at the cat. Yeah.

stop it, stop it. As if this cat was a human being, like having a conversation with it as if the cat can understand. And then she's so mad. The cat has been meowing for like 30 minutes and she can't go back to sleep. And she's so mad.

that she screams at me to start making the coffee. She's just going to get up and she's so mad. She can't even have the house or keep the house the way that she wants it. She's mad about that. All the stuff that we leave out. I mean, she just goes on this tirade. I agree with her.

At 3 in the morning. Let me tell you. Because the cat had woken her up. And so – This cat, she starts meowing. And you guys, I was like at first like, shh, stop it. And then it kept on. And now it started at 2 a.m. So now we're at 3 a.m. And she won't shut up. You guys, I woke up so delirious. I was so mad at her in the middle of the night. I actually said to the cat –

stop it. Nobody likes you. She was screaming these things at the cat as if the cat could comprehend. And the whole time I'm thinking the cast just sitting there.

you know, not paying any attention to her. But then as I'm trying to make it better, she's like mad at me too. I mean, I'm surprised she didn't just say, look, I'm going to get a divorce from you too. You know, it's like everybody, everybody, I was so mad. She goes on this diatribe about how sloppy the house is. And I got a nowhere. Yeah.

I've been up with the cat for an hour. Yeah. And I was like, I was desperate. And I was having such a good dream before she started her routine. And then as it escalated and the cat wouldn't shut up and I noticed Josh is just sleeping perfectly through it. I just started to get mad. And she's madder than a fucking hornet. You're the problem now. I thought nobody's safe. Everybody's going down. Everybody. Everybody's going down.

Do you suffer from having a parasocial relationship with two barely competent middle-aged women?

If so, please go to I've had it podcast.com or to any social media site. I'm talking X, formerly Twitter, Instagram, TikTok, et cetera, and click the link in bio and come see us at the hot shit tour. Make your parasocial relationship real at the hot shit tour. Right pumps. Tell them it's so fun. We hope to see you there.

Hey!

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Okay, Kylie, you ask a question from the cult for Josh. Okay. Alejandra asks, watching Jen and Pump's friendship from the beginning, what has been the best and the worst qualities you've seen them develop as besties? Oh, that's a great question. Best and worst qualities. You know, it may be one and the same. I would say their ability to talk about

Shit that is absolutely meaningless and stretch it out to about a 45 minute conversation. And it just, and the thing is just about something so benign and stupid that it's amazing that they're able to draw out.

An event that I find so uninteresting. But I would say the peak of their relationship existed when they started investigating their husbands together collectively. So we bonded. And that's when you had them sort of enmeshed. Trauma bond. Yeah. They would research and find out every detail of everything that I've ever done, Angie's ex-husband has ever done. It was a true work of art. Yeah.

Okay. The next question from the cult is how does Josh feel knowing that he will always be the support and second to the star of the pickleball duo between him and Jen?

That's kind of hard on me, knowing that I'm not going to be the top dog. So and let me give an example of this. You know, so when I got reinstated my bar license, we went to the Bar Association and this is my one true moment to shine, to be the shining star.

that fought his way back, got sober. We're going to the Bar Association. I'm going to get the card that says I'm a lawyer. It's a proud moment. Jennifer goes with me. To support. To support. As we're there, one of the young ladies comes out and says, hey, do you mind if we get a selfie with your wife? Yeah.

And so I am at the Oklahoma Bar Association. My proud moment. I'm getting my bar card. Boom. The whole staff comes out and wants to see Jennifer. They love her podcast. And I'm just thinking, isn't there one moment where I can be the shining star? I'll tell you, you had those moments. You had five of them. And it was at Family Week in the Rehab States. Yeah.

You've already had your moment. For those drinking out there, she has brought up five rehabs so you can drink. We've reached that point. Yeah. So but I'm I guess another way to answer that question is I become content being the second person.

She's the shining star. She's the leader. And I'm okay with it. Because you love me. Because I love her. There we go. Of course. Of course. Kylie, who's next? How could you possibly be with her if you didn't? I'm going to beat a cat up in the middle of the night. I've got to say, in this room, you're third tier. That's right. That's right. Not even second. You could be fourth. I mean, our listeners really love Kylie. Yeah, Kylie's the best. I think that's right. All right, Josh. Allie wants to know, has Josh ever wanted a threesome with Pumps?

I'm a trashy, trash, garbage human being, and I can't help myself. Wow. That's a good question. No. Is the answer. Wanted, I would say yes. But has he ever, like, I've never tried to facilitate it. Nor, I mean, would I. But back in the day, like when I was crazy and we were young and crazy, I'm sure that I would have given it the high five that I got. I mean, yeah.

But these days, it's like we're so enmeshed in each other. She's so much like a sister. Right. That's what I was going to say. Than anything else. But back then, I could have faked it until I made it. Whatever they say. Okay. Mandy wants to know. Mandy says, I want his side of the story about the referee incident. Okay. Well...

That was during my days as a Supreme helicopter dad. And, and this particular game we're playing franchise, I think was the team. And, and it was just bad call after bad call one after another. And just like any normal parent would do, I became a little bit hot about it. And so there's another friend that was there, a big guy with Carmen member, Alex, he was there. And,

And what gave me the confidence to kind of confront this referee was that Alex is a big guy in football. And Alex says, hey, Josh, if you get in this thing, I've got your back. And so then I was like, okay. So then, you know, I'm popping off to this guy and he's madder than hell at me because I've been screaming shit for 20 minutes and we're getting ready to go toe to toe. And

I think I kind of maybe like got out of there pretty quick. So to avoid any kind of confrontation, but in all seriousness, that's not one of my finer moments in a sports. So,

I kind of feel sorry for these referees that have to endure all of this stuff. You've developed some empathy. Yeah, I have. That's growth. Yeah. But I will say I'm not the only lunatic parent that's out there screaming at referees, but I am better about that now. I don't do that. All right. Stephanie Kissman wants to know, the Teddy Babies have shared so many laughs at your expense, Josh.

Wow, let me think about this. Um...

I mean, one that comes to mind that's a favorite for me is the first night I saw you guys give one of your performances live in front of a crowd and saw them kind of embrace. And I remember I was kind of teary eyed and crying because these two friends have been through so much together. And I just thought it was great that people adored you and they wanted to come see you and everything.

And just, I think the chemistry that people see when they come and see you both live, they see that's real. Like that's not made up. And you guys don't, you know, speak poorly of each other behind each other's back. You're just real true friends. And it's pretty amazing. I'll think about something that might be a little more scandalous and see if I can't. I mean, we haven't had any threesomes. I don't think we've ever caught pumps masturbating. Yeah.

I mean, I'm trying to think, but I think it's kind of scot-free here. So far, we haven't engaged in any family weeks together. Right. We've all had them, but... Okay. Joe Estrada says, obviously, some would-you-rathers would be fun. Women and men. So, Joe Estrada wants to know, would you rather Brad Pitt or George Clooney? Ooh. Man, that is a hard one. That's like saying, like, Mercedes-Benz or BMW. Yeah. You know, it's like...

I'm going to have to go Brad. I'm going to have to go Brad. I knew you were going to pick Brad. I thought you'd pick Brad too. Yeah. You model yourself. I love George. I love him to pieces. But why do you pick Brad over George? Well...

Brad was born in Shawnee, Oklahoma, and we're both small-town Oklahoma kids. Of course. That's exactly what I thought you were going to start. Yeah, of course. We have similar heritages. We're both small-town Oklahomans. Yeah. Similar heritages. We look the same when our shirts are taken off. Right. That's what I thought. Yeah. He's got good style. They showed photographs of him at Wimbledon this past year that sent me into a tizzy. So I'd pick Brad. Okay. Kylie. All right, Jen, this one's kind of for you.

Hey, Jen, is Josh back to being a lawyer full time? How's he adjusting to all the compliments he must be getting? Like, is he practicing his thank you, thank you, I'll be here all week speech in the mirror? Love you guys. Yeah, Josh is practicing law full time. And, um,

Here's what I'll say the major adjustments I've noticed in the house. So now we have a whole nother outfit that's introduced, you know, so like if he's going to court or meeting with another attorney, he's very much a purist that he has to be in a suit and tie.

And he takes a lot of time and care to put that suit on. I'm constantly have to pull, pull the tie over the collar so I could be full blown. I have an electric toothbrush that I brush my teeth with for two minutes. It's timed. It ends perfectly. I could be 45 seconds into the two minute cycle. And when Josh needs something, he needs it right that second.

And it's just easier for me to put the toothbrush down and to pause the two minute cycle than to go through him, um,

Because he will just, he's on me like a tick on a dog needing something. Relentless. Relentless. But he's actually a fantastic lawyer and he's already had a lot of great high profile cases practicing law in Oklahoma. He's had major success. He just had a great success this last week that I'm so proud of him for. And he really helps people. So much of crime is addiction related or broken home related. And so, yeah,

As much as we joke around and stuff, Josh's past and his own dysfunction and brokenness and evolution away from that has helped him be a very empathetic counselor for his clients. Thank you. And it's been great. Thank you. And I will give a shameless plug to my law firm, which is

D-W-Legal, L-E-G-A-L dot law is the website. We have a landing page there with all of our information. My nephew, your nephew, Joey DiGiusti and I are law partners and we represent people who get charged with crimes and we take it very seriously. Yes, you do. We joke about a lot of things here, but...

When it comes to being a lawyer and representing and being an advocate for others, we take that very serious and we're very aggressive about it. Okay. I have a question from Shan. Shan asks, what is something people would be surprised to know about Jennifer? Jennifer.

Well, she was a small town girl from Texas. For those that don't know, she never played a sport in her life until she started pickleball. She was always on the dance team or the cheer team, cheer squad, palm squad. She is a not even a closet Rafael Nadal fan, just an open fan.

lover of tennis which has been your new fetish and and hobby for the past two or three years i don't think that there's any surprises about you are there i have one all right let's hear it help me out here okay so emily and jennifer just babysat a baby together jennifer's nephew and she came home and she said oh my gosh i was so surprised how good jennifer is with babies

Wow. That's a good one. But I will say, now this might be something that would apply here. So on this podcast, you, the listener and the viewer, you see a lot of cynicism and a lot of pettiness. But in real life, Jennifer is a very empathetic and very loving, sincere, loyal friend.

And on camera and on the podcast, you see the cynical side of her where she's being sarcastic. But there's also this very compassionate, very serious, sincere side that you don't see as much on the podcast because it's maybe too pure for this podcast. It wouldn't be funny.

I'm too pure. Too pure. That's exactly. I mean, when you started that, I thought too pure. Yeah. Yeah. No, but she's not as cold hearted as one might believe. I'm not as cold hearted as I play on the podcast. No, she's not. She's not. She's a very sincere. Especially to people I know and love. I'm very, very sincere.

loyal and loving to them. Very, very too, maybe to a fault at times. Like she's a very loyal, kind, loving person that, that on the podcast, you might think, well, God, this bitch, she's just always up in arms bitching about this and bitching about that. But in her day-to-day life, she's not like that. She works hard. She goes to bed early, likes to play sports. Her life is very, very simple.

And she likes it that way. I do. I like it. Thank you. That was very nice to say. I always tell you, you come off as hard as an acorn shell, but you're really warm better on the inside. She does. So I think that's exactly what you were thinking. I think so too. And I think if the listeners saw or the viewers saw this other side of you, they would be like, wow, okay. I think the podcast would tank. I think the podcast would tank.

With septic. It would totally tank. The podcasting world needs me to be the cold hearted bitch that I am on the pod. That's right. That's right. Somebody's got to do it. That's a hundred percent right. All right. Well, Josh, I want to thank you for swinging by. Your episodes are always the best because the three of us have always been the best friends. And what's so awesome listener about my relationship with pumps and my relationship with Josh is that

They have their very own friendship relationship. And I feel so fortunate for that because, you know, a lot of times the husband doesn't like the best friend or the best friend doesn't like the husband. And that's not the case here. I mean, even Josh, you know, said earlier he considered early on before they reached sibling status a threesome. And as I've gotten older, I'm starting to reconsider it again. Yeah.

So in the comment section, if you can state whether or not you would approve of such a threesome, let us know. If you wouldn't, then let us know that.

I want to think. I'm a little rusty, Josh. That's okay. I'll get the shoe polish out and shine you up a little bit. You know, the thing is, when I think about it, you are our sister. I know. That's why, like, I almost spit my water out when she said that. All right. Here's the deal, listener. As always, everything always goes to junior high with us. Always. And Josh and I particularly. Oh, it's so bad. Thank you, ladies, for having me on. Uh,

DWLegal.law. Yes. If I can help anybody, better call Saul, better call Josh. Yes. Thanks for having me. It's been fun. Yeah. So please go give us a five-star review on Apple to join our cult. Go to Patreon.com.

Check us out on the Hot Shit Tour. Check us out on all the social media stuff. Do all the stuff you're supposed to do to be a good listener. Don't be a lackluster listener. For the love of God, pumps tell them. We will see you next Tuesday or Thursday or both. I'll tell you what I've had it with. Cheer it.