Feed the Strays
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That's right. There's no more pussy-fitting around. No more licking our wounds. Fall off the horse. You got to climb back on. Get your meat curtains and climb back on. That's right. And I'm thinking about doing a double caca. I mean, I haven't started over. Gayatriots, patriots, vatriots. Caca! I mean, I feel stronger. I do too. That's what America needs. We need strength. We need two cacas. That's right. Pumps, what have you had it with? Okay, what I've had it with...

is Apple keeps changing the cords for different products. So we just got a computer. So now I have a different computer charger, then my phone charger, then my iPad charger. Then I have a watch charger, which that's always been different, but I'm just so tired of it. Why can't we just have one charger cord? Wasn't that how it was in the beginning?

That everybody had the same cord. You could charge your phone, your computer, everything. Now everything's changed and you have to have all these outlets. I had to get one of those strips so I could plug all my stuff at night. So I've had it. I've never had a computer that a phone charger worked for. Did it not? Was it just the iPad and the phone? No.

I think maybe the iPad and the phone. I've never had a computer that was universal. Well, I know that my phone, up until this last time, my phone and my computer could charge off the same thing. And so now I just feel like I have more chargers than I need, than I have outlets for. I've had it. I feel like it's a racket because you have to have the charger.

You can't not have the charger. So it's just a surplus and it's just a grift. That's what I think. Had it. All right. Let me tell you what I've had it with. Okay. I've had it with people spitting on the street. Oh, yes. It's so gross. Disgusting. It just disgusts me. You're walking down the street and somebody just like a loogie and they spit it. When we were in New York last week, we're walking down the street and this guy was

Like puts one finger over one nostril and then just blows a big snot bug out the other one into the street and just walks on like it was totally normal. That's so gross. It's so disgusting. I'm just like, fuck's sake. Are we serious now? We're blowing our nose on the side of the street.

With no, you know, tissue or anything to catch anything, you want everyone to see this? I would rather have seen his dick. Oh, 100%. Than that snot coming out of his nose like that. It just, the spitting and the snotting and then just all of the liquids that are going in and out of everybody's bodies all the time. I've had it. I don't want to watch people drink things anymore. Yeah.

I don't want to watch people secrete things out of their body anymore. I don't want any of it. I want to opt out of all of it. I'm tired of the liquids going in and out of human bodies all the time. I can't take it anymore. No, I think that is a great one. And we have been remiss that that has not been on the list before because there is nothing grosser than that, in my opinion. Seeing somebody...

hack or snot a loogie because I'm like, what if I get that on my shoe? And then I take it in my house. Then my dog licks the floor. I mean, it's just, it never ends. That germ cycle lives forever. Let's share with the listener about our lunch that we were having in New York. It was awful. And the man that was sitting behind us. And why don't you do an impersonation of

of what he did. Why don't you do a dramatic, a dramatic reenactment? Okay. So we're sitting there minding our own business, having a quiet lunch. And it was like, I mean, it was like in, out, in, out. And we were like, first I kind of thought like, is he okay? Like it was so massive. But then there was that really deep guttural thing that he did. He'd go, oh,

Before all the snot and the inhaling and the exhaling, it was like this growl, like this deranged, unhealthy, needs to be in hospice growl. But he's at a restaurant in Manhattan, Texas.

Sitting there like it's normal behavior. Yeah. And it wasn't just once. Like, it wasn't like a clear your throat once. It was how many times? At least a dozen. At least a dozen. The waitress was alarmed. Yes. We made eye contact with her and we were all just like... No, she even said, she was like, what was that? I thought, was there a bear in the restaurant? Yes. You can't walk into a restaurant and start growling and snot slinging and doing all of this crap. You just...

can't do that. And I just, again, it goes back to the liquids. It goes back to the constant need to put something in the body and the constant need to put it out of the body. In, out, in, out. I don't want any part of any of this anymore. It all is linked. We know what I think it's linked to, Stanley Cups. And then we know what Stanley Cups leads to, which we're about to head into.

A four-year reign terror of Stanley Cup politics. Yeah. I love how you just said, I just don't even want to watch people drink in public anymore. I just want it to be over. I've really had it. I really have. I've really had it. Stanley Cup has taken a lot from me. It really has. They've taken a lot. They have fetishized hydration.

In a way that is so performative and so stupid that I even hate drinking. And I don't want to watch other people drink. And I don't want to share. I think like when we start going out to lunch and stuff, they'll be like, what would you like to drink? And I'll say, nothing. Nothing. She can't have anything either. The waitress would be like, so you don't want anything to drink? No. No. She won't let me have it. That's what I'm going to start saying. No.

Welcome to I've Had It. I'm Jennifer. I'm Angie. Kylie, what do you think about our we're not going to drink anything ever again? That's what I do day to day. So I've got two reviews for you. Okay. One of them is a one star. Okay. And it's titled Accurate. And they write accurate definition of disgusting people. Okay.

Really nasty mouthed couple of women, period. A tub of Vaseline beating off. Wow. I think maybe at one point we talked, we spoke about on our podcast about maybe how uptight Maggie gets and maybe they're masturbating or something. But here's the thing. This is a pearl clutcher. Right. For sure. I mean, got upset.

Because somebody said a tub of Vaseline and then goes and looks up our podcast, gets reviewed, so fucking mad about it and writes it out. That is the energy I'm taking to the restaurants when I launch my dehydration plan. That is the exact, you know what I'm going to do? The waitress will come up and say, what can I get you to drink? I'll say, haterade. Yeah.

She'll say, excuse me. I'll say, do you not have haterade? And she'll say, no. So then I'm not drinking. No drinking and none for her. None for her. I don't want anybody in this. And I need for you to move everybody from my sight line that is drinking because I don't want to see it. I think that's a great idea. Yeah. Like if they have a drink, they have to get up and move. I don't want them in my sight line. I like it. Yeah. If she gets to go on or whoever this is,

our reviews and be that crazy. I want to be that crazy. Yeah, I'm ready. Right. And I kind of wear the nasty women with the badge of honor a little bit. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Okay. Who's next? Okay. Five stars titled The Best 40 Minutes of My Day.

And Am Hutto writes, hello, Jessica, meat curtains, and Kathy. This podcast is irreverent and irresistible. I literally laugh out loud during every episode. I've had it with so many things, but especially men who disrespect and don't get intelligent, funny, and self-respecting women with minds of their own. Thanks for being our champions, and I can't wait to read your book. Oh, that's nice. That is nice. Oh, I love it.

I have to tell you, at our New York show, these people were in the line, the VIP meet and greet line. And they said they wrote a review. And the subject matter of the review was, Kathy, read this. OK. And you hadn't read it. And I told them that I would tell you.

about it. And so I thought it'd be more fun to do it on air than off air. So to the listener that we met in New York, this is the call out. This is it. In the permanent record. In the permanent record. Yeah. In the permanent record. I'll track it down. Okay. I would now like to read something from the news. Okay. Pardon me while I have a quick sip of water, which I... Oh my gosh. It's haterade.

Okay. Yeah. A little drop of haterade. Pardon me, listener. Why I have a small little sip of haterade before I do my dramatic reading of the news. Oh my God. That haterade is just delicious. Is it just what the doctor ordered? Absolutely. Okay. The Daily Beast did a story about an airline and it says an airline was forced to apologize Monday for

After accidentally screening 40 minutes of penis and boobs to an entire aircraft full of unwitting passengers. The cockpit cock up apparently occurred after a technical fault rendered individual in-flight movie screen selection unavailable.

Staff held a quick poll, which resulted in a small selection of passengers picking this year's racy Dakota Johnson flick, Daddy-O, featuring an erect penis, prolonged sexting exchanges, and profuse use of the word fuck to play on every screen.

It was apparently only about halfway through the movie that eyebrows were sufficiently raised for staff to change it to something a little more family friendly, with passengers complaining that the screens were locked and they were unable to turn it off before the staff realized what was happening.

Fucking love that. Isn't that great? I wish I would have been on it just to see all the pearl clutchers. Like, oh my gosh. And then we all know I'd like to see in hard penis. So there's that too. So it would have just been a win-win for me. Have you seen this movie, Daddy-O? No, I've never even heard of it. It features an erect penis. Well, we know what I'm going to do tonight. You have been remiss. I've got to get Daddy-O on TV.

The stream. Then maybe you can go to the review section and write a review. Yeah. That you're so shocked and outraged at the erect penis. It was nasty. I've never seen an erect penis before. That's what I'm going to say. Because I had the virgin birth three times. Okay. We have a guest today. And I want to tell you how we found this guest. I think maybe a listener might have sent us a video. Is that right? Correct. A listener, probably somebody in our Patreon cult.

sent us a video of this comedian. And I instantly said to Kathy, book him on the pod, 911. Immediately, pumps agreed. And I want to play for you the clip in which we discovered this comedian and why we love him so much. Here's when we should be having gender reveal parties. You know whenever a famous politician gets caught with a prostitute? Yeah.

And there's that moment of suspense, you turn on the news, and like, "Senator Robert Hutcherson, a vocal opponent of gay rights, was caught today with a prostitute." And he was like, "Please be a boy! Oh, man, oh, man! Red state blue balloons, let's do it!" The confetti's just shredded in the air.

I mean, I think that is so good because I experienced that when I find out that there's some affair. Like if you found out Mike Johnson, if it dripped out that it was an affair, you would be like crossing your fingers. Please let it be a guy. Oh my gosh. I would give anything if that leaked out because I guarantee you if you were having an affair. Oh, there's no question. Because you know what? His wife devoted all of her time to a Pray the Gay Away Center.

I did not know that. Yeah. Moses Mike's wife. It's all coming into complete focus now. This is why when the Democrats regain power, I want them to be more unhinged than they've ever been. And I want them to say just for spite.

since you put us through all of these years of this shit, we want everybody's browser history. Yeah. And we're going to publish it. And I know it's crazy and I know it's unhinged, but you get to have retribution. This is what we want ours to be. Right. We're starting with Ted Cruz. Yeah.

I don't know. I mean, Mike Johnson's would be pretty delicious because he's got the covenant eyes. We're just starting with Ted. We're starting with Ted. And then we're just going to trickle him. I want a full PowerPoint presentation too, presented by some really smart comedian. But speaking of smart comedians, let's welcome to our show because you and I could dive down that rabbit hole forever. Matt Broussard.

Listener, this may come as a total shock to you, but Pumps and I have not always been this pulled together and rock solid. In fact, we used to be rather screwed up when you say Pumps. I would say damn near psychotic. Totally. And we have written a cell phone expose. One could even say it's a manifesto. And the book title is...

Life is a lazy Susan of shit sandwiches. In all sincerity, we share a lot of our struggles that led us to this grand stage where we can talk about petty grievances. You can click the link below in the show notes to pre-order your copy now.

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All right, let's welcome Matt Broussard. Matt, before you came on, I just played for our listener the video of you talking about the gender reveal party with a MAGA politician that could possibly be caught in a gay tryst. And I feel that with every fiber in my body. I inject that shit into my veins.

It's delicious. It is so satisfying when it happens. That kind of hypocrisy is just, it's a guilty pleasure. Yeah. And we do have a lot of that to look forward to in the coming years. I mean, that's the highlight. Lots of hypocrisy coming out. Yeah. We said before we had you on that, how fun would it be if whenever the Dems get power back, if we say, okay,

Just for spite, what we're going to do is we're going to start with Ted Cruz. We want your browser history. And we're going to give a PowerPoint presentation.

to every citizen live on TV. We're going to go through every little dirty thing you ever looked at, Ted. We're going to see where you paused. We're going to see where you stopped it. We're all going to watch it together as a country just for spite. And I think, Matthew, you could lead this. I think you could lead the PowerPoint presentation. Yeah.

Pornhub does actually have the data of where people replay the most. And that's what I'm thinking about. That's the information I want. That's what American needs out of their leadership. I want to know what gets replayed. That's a great one. Now, does Pornhub have a message board?

They have a comment section. Okay. All right. I'd like to read the comments too. I think that'd be fun. And probably like a Reddit. They probably, they're very, it's a, it's a, it's an amazing website. They actually, when, when, um, the ACA was, when the website was shutting down, Pornhub offered for free to, uh,

web managed because they can handle that kind of traffic better, better than the public sector can apparently better than the U.S. government. Yeah. Full disclosure. When I heard that you're based out of Oklahoma City, I came in prepared to not talk about politics at all today, just assuming the demographics of the region. But I'm very happy to hear we're on the same page here, which is very refreshing.

Yes, yes. We are normal people. Right. Thank you. Yeah. Yes. We believe facts. We value expertise.

We don't have a problem with gay people or black people. And we always value a more equal place. And we think Donald Trump is a fucking moron. And I can't believe that tens of millions of people tripled down on that piece of shit and said, yes, this is a great idea. Let's let him lead the country. What do you think is worse, the evil or the stupid?

I think it's the stupid ambition that is worse because the stupid people are ambitious. A lot of stupid people aren't, but this particular breed of stupid people are ambitious in their stupidity. Yeah. A lot of dumb. So Matt, tell us what you've had it with. Oh, I've had it with people walking.

I live in New York City. We don't have cars and we walk instead. And I wish traffic laws applied to human beings on foot as well. So I've had it with people who walk four wide and slow and then just stop and create a blockade. If you did that with a car, you would cause a 72 car pileup. So I wish there was some some logical thought put into how people move in airports and in crowded cities.

I completely agree. We were just in New York City and I was meeting a group of people for lunch. And I'm a super fast walker. So I'm walk, walk, walk, walk, walk super fast.

there were these two couples in front of me holding hands. So that's a four spot. I could not get around because the streets were full. And then one of them stopped to look at their phone. And I ran right up on the back of them. Luckily, it was enough for me to say, oh, gosh, sorry, and pass. But I'm like, it's dangerous when everybody's walking and you stop to look at your phone or you're holding hands with your partner, which I'm just like,

If you fucking, if it's your partner, you can hold hands every other time on the planet. Why do you have to do it while you're walking and block people? It should be single file. It should be a rule. Lines on the street if that's what we have to do. Do you ever see someone not notice you coming, kind of walking past the middle point? And you're like, well, my shoulder is in line with their shoulder. And if I keep in a straight line and you keep in a straight line, you get to shoulder check them a little bit? Yeah. Yeah.

I think the psychology of all of this is kind of interesting. Like you're walking down the street and there's always kind of an unspoken rule that one person you're about to cross run right into somebody. So one person goes right and one person goes left to avoid each other. But from time to time, you have somebody that just bucks up. Like, I mean, they buck up and you can tell this is a bull in a china closet and they're just coming right after me.

So this happened to me recently and I thought, I'm going to buck up too. Like I'm matching the energy. It's so satisfying. I'm going to match this energy. And then ultimately, I mean, I was just, you know, guns blazing and the person did kind of like, like fade away. But you're saying that you buck right back up and then just shoulder check him and just go on?

If it's another man, it's very satisfying. If it's a woman, that's not as nice to do. Yeah, I like the excuse because I'm doing what they're doing or I might even be more on the correct side. If someone's leaving me less than my body width with which to navigate, it's not on me to stop and turn. I can just buck up and just get a little. I'm not I'm not a violent man, but that's my one indulgence. I like it. Yeah.

Yeah. I support it. Yeah. Okay. We'd emailed with you prior to having you on and you said that you had a lot of grievances with airport etiquette. And this is something we travel all the time for the podcast and airport etiquette is,

is something that we've been trying to whistleblow about from the very first days of this podcast. We recently had the mayor of our city on this show to confront him about airport policies and procedures. So this is something we take very seriously here at I've Had It. And I want you to know that this is a very safe space to really get to the deep, dark bottom of all of the fuckery that's going on at the airport.

Yeah. Are we including planes in this? Oh, yeah. Because I mean, I feel like we could do two separate episodes for at the airport and on the plane. What airline do you travel most? Well, because we live in Oklahoma City, there's not like a major hub. So we fly American Delta United equally. Okay. Not Southwest. No. I try to avoid Southwest. Right. At all costs. And I'll tell you why.

The flight attendants are not comedians and they try to be both. They try to be a flight attendant and a comedian at the same time. And I don't like that slapstick flight attendant humor. If I want to go to a comedy show, I will go to yours and I will see you. And I've signed up for that. But when I'm on an airplane, I'm fighting for my life. Okay. I'm doing breathing exercises. I'm trying to get through it. I'm trying not to talk to the person next to me and send, um,

Fuck you energy without being a complete cunt as best I can. It takes a lot of energy to do that. So that's why I don't fly Southwest. What's the lamest one they do? What's the, cause shift happens. Oh yes, yes. Not a good pun. I literally want to scream at the top of my lungs, put a sock in it.

Shut the fuck up and do the procedure. And like you say, I want to be somewhat scared of the flight attendant. I want to know that they are in charge if the plane goes down, that they're going to have the strength and the wherewithal to remove the door and start bossing us off the plane to survive and make sure we have our vests on and all that stuff.

I like you as a comedian. I don't think you have. I don't think you're flight attendant ready. I don't think that you're ready to lead us through the battlefield on a flight. That's just all I'm saying.

Who do you hate more, the flight attendant telling the jokes or the mom from Ohio giggling hysterically at that joke? The mom from Ohio, 12 times out of 10. She's an enabler. Enabler, yeah. And when they start feeding, I call this feeding stray cats. So the flight attendant starts, she starts with the joke and then you have the people that giggle at it. And then they think, oh, okay.

I've got a real live audience here. And then they escalate. They like it. And they escalate. And what happens when you feed a stray cat? They come back for more and for more and for more. So the stray cats, I hate the most because they've enabled this behavior in...

If there were a bunch of us on one flight, even if the joke was hilarious, I would burn a thousand calories contorting my face and my stomach to not laugh just to send a signal that this is not the time nor place. Right.

I mean, I would lead the charge in saying, I will refuse to laugh at this. So then that flight attendant would know, I've got to run a tight ship on this plane. I'm not a comedian. You know, if it's good material, I don't mind. If it's not such self-proud jokes, that's the delivery on Southwest is what annoys me. Yeah.

I think on Southwest has like the highest per capita of people who've never flown before. Like every flight, every flight, there's at least four people who don't know the difference, who think their boarding number is their seat number and then go to that seat asking for the seat. So it's just a lot of people don't know how to fly. People put bag, people save seats, which is really rude. People put bags under seats that aren't even their own. So that, that really grinds my gears. Just,

Selfish behavior, they must know it's selfish. They must know that if everyone acted like this, it wouldn't work.

Don't you think one of the biggest problems with airports, particularly airplanes, is a lack of self-awareness? Like you think you're the only person on the whole flight or you think you're the only person that's ever gone through TSA before so that everybody has all the time in the world for you to dick around with your pockets and get your boarding pass when you're already at the officers. I've just fucking had it with all the lack of self-awareness that goes on in airport travel.

I agree with that. And I and I spent a lot of time wondering if it's, again, stupid or evil. Do they know and not care? Or I did something. I was in line the other day. It was a long line of people. And I saw someone pull his ID out well in advance of getting to the front of the line. And I said to him very loudly, thanks for having your ID out early. And I watched a bunch of people look at him, look at me and then reach in their pockets and pull theirs out.

That's the kind of leadership I like. That's the kind of leadership this country needs. Because how maddening is it when you're in line and you get up there and then somebody, they have their shoes on, their cell phone in their pocket, they don't have their ID on. Same thing mystifies me at, you know, when you go to a restaurant and you have to get in the line to order and then you go pick your table. Yeah.

When the line's 30 minutes long and the person's been standing there for 30 minutes and then they get up to the register and it's their turn to order and they have no idea what they want to order. I just, if I ran the register, I would immediately say, nope, to the back of the line. And this is where I need flight attendants to be because what I like about flight attendants is they're bossy. I like when you get on, they're like, sit down. Nope, bag has to be fully under. They don't take shit. And I like it. I like that type of,

We're all going to be on this bird, you know, thousands of miles of feet in the air. I like for flight attendants to be in charge and boss us around. And I think they should start kicking people off the plane that are assholes, cut the comedy routine, boss us around. We need this type of order on this plane. Completely agree.

Can I change the subject? Okay, first of all, one thing I will, I try to admit where I am the problem. I am that person at coffee shops. When I get to the front of the line of the coffee shop, I'm really snobby about my coffee. So I'll ask where the coffee is from and what the pour over options are. Matt, I want you up until this moment. You can judge me.

Oh, my, Matt. That is, I mean, straight to jail. Yes. If they have a menu, I'll look at it. But if it's not written anywhere and I need to ask, I'll just ask, what are the pour over options? What countries are they from? And then I'll make a choice. But I do probably slow things down by 20 seconds. Wait. Okay. So what are your preferred countries of choice? Ethiopia. Ethiopia.

If they have Ethiopian pour over, I'm gonna get every time. Colombian, I typically don't go with, especially if it's drip. I'll do Peru or Costa Rica after that. Otherwise, something African.

I don't really drink or do drugs. This is all I have. Okay. Okay. Listen, she's, she's in recovery and I don't, and I really don't drink either. So I, I do love coffee and that is something I could go down the rabbit hole. Let me ask you this while you're standing there asking these questions, does any part of you feel like an asshole at all? Yes. All the time. I feel like a jerk all the time. I'm, I'm, I'm one of those people who is constantly worried about who I'm slowing down and who I'm inconveniencing. I'm, I'm,

I try to help people with bags off the plane. I'm very like needy and need everyone to like me. So I'm very conscious. Yeah. So I want everyone to like me all the time. So I try to really play nice.

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Pumps, you know what a tennis fanatic I am. And I especially love Serena Williams. That's why I recently subscribed to Masterclass and watched her series. It is incredible. My son is so hard to buy for, but he is obsessed with astrophysics. So I got him a Masterclass with Neil deGrasse Tyson.

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So head over to masterclass.com slash had it for the current offer. Okay. Now we're going to play a game with you called had it or hit it. Oh my God. Welcome to had it or hit it. I would hit it. I hit it every day, sometimes twice a day. Okay. Had it or hit it dating podcasts. Uh,

Had it just because dating podcasts are from people who aren't in healthy relationships. There's so many of these that are for people who aren't in healthy relationships. And I'm in a healthy relationship. I'm eight years in and engaged in getting married soon. And I don't spout off like I know anything. I just got very lucky to have found my person in this world. And I'm not going to act like I have a blueprint for other people to do that.

It's almost like picking a good stock and making a bunch of money and then thinking you're suddenly Warren Buffett. It's almost the people who should be giving the vice are less likely to. Oh, I agree with that. Totally. I've been thinking a lot about podcasts since the election results. And you saw Trump kind of flood the zone. He did Rogan. He did all of these other bro podcasts.

And obviously we have a podcast. And so I've been thinking a lot about it. And I think podcasts have really become like where boys listen to this podcast and

And then you have the girly podcasts where they talk about influencing and things. And both of these spheres are like reinforcing these gender roles. And I don't know how healthy it is where, you know, you have all of these very stereotypical female podcasts where, you know, you're talking about these really superficial, vapid girl things. And then you have these bro podcasts where

where you're talking about how to be a tough guy and a badass and all this stuff. And I think that we should all work to make more spaces that are digestible for everybody. And I don't know. I just, you know, the fact that...

Rogan could have that big of an audience and that big of an impact over men. And you see like young guys and the misogyny is off the charts. It's really worrying. Yeah.

Yeah, there's I mean, I'm reminded of when you said all that, I just thought, what's the what's the old rhyme? Boys go to Jupiter to get more stupider. Girls drink Pepsi to get more sexy. Yeah, it feels like that taken to an extreme. Yeah, I think there's I think there are not great role models for young men right now. And I've spent a lot of time wondering what that is. And we see young men being very misogynistic and.

It's extra disappointing because usually misogynists are like good for certain things. Like you can rely on a misogynist to like fix your car or like start a fire. And these are like young misogynists who have are like whining with too many feelings. It's like you can't be both. Right. You got to pick one, you know. I agree. That's a really brilliant point. If you're going to be a misogynist, be a fixer. Yeah. Have a toolbox. Yeah.

Yeah. Hunt and gather and do all that, but don't whine about your fucking feelings. Right. You don't, don't criticize women while sharing some of their worst purported traits. Totally. That's a, such a brilliant point. Okay. Had it or hit it public restrooms.

You know, I respect them. I like them. At least they're there. In New York City, they're not there. So you're just happy to find a bathroom and, you know, you take what you get and you appreciate that someone let you use it. I'm not anti-public bathrooms. I like that. I like that response. Okay. Had it or hid it, people who walk their cats. Oh, hit it. I'm that guy. We walk our cats.

We tried to when we first got it. Now we live in New York. It's a little harder. We'll take our cat outside. I think it's great. I think it's awesome. Break those norms, baby. Normalize it. I have several follow-up questions. Is the cat on a leash? Yes. Okay. And does it go like a dog? No. No.

You hope for forward motion, but it's closer to Brownian motion. It just kind of randomly moves in any direction it wants to. You hope it's more forward over time, but you can expect it to walk sideways and backwards. And if you cover a quarter mile, you're great. It's nothing like walking a dog. But the cat is so happy to be outside and with you. That's our cat's favorite thing. It's time with us and time outside.

I love that. That's sweet. And it's like you're not putting yourself first. You're putting the cat first because the cat is going to go around in circles. So your exercise is out the window. I kind of like it. Matt's a good person. Matt is a smart, nice person. Listen up, listener. Don't say that. That's what they say about someone before they take a tumble. I'm not a good person. Whenever my skeletons come out and say I knew it. Let me rephrase, Matt. Listener, Matt is a good-ish person. Yeah.

It's trying. Good-ish. Yes. Okay. I'll take it. All right. Last one. Had it or hid it, millennials. I'm a millennial. I'm proud of our generation. I think we went through a lot. I think we are reasonable, practical people. I think we've accomplished some really cool things. Obama, gay marriage. We saw big changes recently.

We were, you know, we called everything gay. We were very homophobic and we turned that around, I think, pretty quickly. And I'm proud of us for that, for seeing a lot of cultural shifts in our lifetimes and being able to adapt to it. And I will say we are obsessed with Gen Z and it's very pathetic how much we want the generation after us to like us and how much we war with them and how much

how much we're losing that battle because Gen Z is so much better at cyberbullying than we are. We can just never top them. They will dunk on us every time. So that is my issue with millennials. But overall, I like our generation. I agree. I've come full circle on millennials. So we're Gen Xers.

And I used to... Best Generation. My favorite. Best culture, best art. Love Gen X. Okay. Just read a book on the 90s. You guys, it's the best. It was really fun. So I used to browbeat millennials because...

The feelings were too much. It was just too much processing and too much feeling. I'm like, why does everything have to be a feeling? Sometimes you just do shit. It's not fun. You push through it. Let's not fucking talk about it. Shut the fuck up. But I've evolved on millennials, but I never wanted millennials to like

Us. We have this, like we were feral people. Like we were, we ran around without cell phones and shoes and all sorts of crazy shit. So I never had this strong desire for millennials to like us. But that's interesting that you all want Gen Z to like you. We really identified as the young new generation and we couldn't stand, we're like the middle child culturally. Oh yeah, yeah. That makes sense. Yeah.

And then so much of Gen X identity is kind of apathy of being beyond feelings. You look at the music, the movies, it's Nirvana and Fight Club. It's not Woe Is Me. It's a bit of a suck it up and life is tough and you just kind of, eh, whatever. Like that was one of the theories and why there's not as much attacks on Gen X is because when you attack Gen X, they go, yeah, sure, probably. They kind of just absorb the blow. Yeah. Yeah.

And millennials, we would get affected emotionally by it and get defensive. Yes. But it feels like Gen Z has all of our traits, but amplified. There's not much of a difference between millennials and Gen Z, except Gen Z is kind of more, more feelings. No, they feel a lot more. And for Gen Xers, it's difficult to navigate people that have to feel everything. Like what I want our listener, younger listeners to take away is,

is you can cherry pick your feelings. You don't have to feel every moment, every single day, all the time. It's okay to go, well, that kind of sucked, but I really don't feel like processing it right now. I'm going to move on. It's fine to do that. Like it's perfectly normal to go, well, God, that guy was a total dick, but not worth my time. I'm moving on. I'm not going to think about it anymore. Instead of going somewhere and sitting down and

and having a FaceTime call and a committee meeting and processing your feelings because somebody was mean to you at Home Depot. I just think we've got to toughen up a little bit. And there are big things that really hurt that I want to be there for and I want to embrace. And there's real abuse, real trauma, and all of those things are real. But people being dicks, that's just the human experience. Right.

Right. And sometimes trying to focus on it gives the dick the power. Yeah, that's right. You have to learn how to brush up. You're right. There are cases and I'm guilty of everything you're saying. If someone was someone yell outside, someone yell on the street. And it really gave me a lot of feelings. And now I'm like, what does this mean about my relationship with my dad? You know, and it's like power to that. You're you're kind of accelerating this supposed trauma. Yeah. Yeah.

Matt, tell us about what you have going on in your career and how our listeners can find you and what kind of comedy routines you have going.

I have a special, my first full-length special called Hyperbolic coming out on December 13th on my YouTube page. So follow me on YouTube, subscribe for that. Monday, Monday on YouTube and Monday, Monday on all platforms. And my comedy is not far from what you've heard here today. A lot of stories about my family, my mom, my fiance, and a lot of kind of

deep dives into grammar and etymology and statistics and some kind of nerdy stuff that I really dig. But some comedy I'm proud of that I think you will enjoy if you like jokes. I do, as long as they're not from a flight attendant. Right. Well, Matt, this has been so fun. And I'm so fun. Aren't you so glad? Thank you.

Y'all are so funny. This is such a great podcast. Aren't you so glad we're not MAGA women? I thought maybe your area might be that. I didn't know if you were. I'm not just really thrilled to talk to other people and feel like I'm not crazy and the world's not crazy.

And thank you for being brave enough to speak so openly about it. Yes, absolutely. We're not going to pre-surrender to fascism. No. Yeah. We're going to keep speaking out and we're doing it from a very red state and we do not give a fuck. And that's the energy we all need to take to 2025.

Yes. And I need that more of that in my life. So thank you for the inspiration. Absolutely. Matt, this has been so fun. We're going to follow you and I can't wait to watch your new show coming out on YouTube. Thank you very much. Thanks, Matt. Bye. Bye, Matt. Thank you.

I really liked what you said about just holding it in and sending a message to everybody on a plane. We're not fucking around on this flight. Consider it exercise. Yeah. Let's say that that flight attendant was absolutely hysterical. The deadpan humor, you know, knee slapper after knee slapper. We have to sit there united. I mean, you can't even start doing a little mini bounce. So think of the core exercise in trying to maintain balance.

being a statue and not succumbing to the laughter because we cannot send flight attendants a mixed message. Yeah. And I'm the weak link in that group. Remember that girl we had at a comedy show one time, she was the opener and she was so terrible. It was awkward and nervous-y and you were stone-faced, but I kind of laughed out of pity. So I'd have to really, it'd be a lot of work for me, but I would do it. See, I needed that girl to know

Like this is not for you. And it's okay. It's okay. It's okay that you learn that maybe you're not supposed to be a stand-up comedian. And it's okay. What's not okay is lying to people and telling them they're good at something.

When they're not, that is really one of the meanest things I think you can do to somebody. You're right. It is. Yeah. I do get that nervous laughter, though. It's bad, the awkward laugh. Kylie, you were at that show with us. Yeah, I'm the same as pumps. I have so much codependency that if someone's looking at me, like, I will crack up just to make them feel better because I feel so uncomfortable. Yeah, it's so uncomfortable. I literally sat there. You were stumbling. And I'm thinking, this is my spare time.

And I came to this comedy show and they had two openers for the main one. And I came to see the main one and this horrible, horrible opener came out. It was bad. Here's what gets me about it. The people that work the place...

The people surrounding this person, nobody ever said, this is not the right profession for you. I appreciate that you like stand-up comedy, but you are not a stand-up comedian. There are literally millions of other things you can dive into, but this is not for you. So I am the resistance in that audience. And I wanted to be a statue and I was not going to participate in

And the fraud that this woman was a standup comedian that insulted my intelligence, my sense of humor. And I just, there was nothing funny about any of it from top to bottom, start to finish. It was terrible. And it's okay to tell people they're terrible at something. I'm so tired of having to fucking pump unicorns and rainbows up everybody's ass all the time. I've had it. I've had it. If you're not good at something, you're not good at it.

Just own it. Like, I'm not a great camper. I'm not a great podcaster. I couldn't start a fire. No, I can't change a tire. I cannot change a tire. And that's okay. You know, I'm a really good flosser. I'm a great toothpicker and a nose picker. I excel at nose picking. See, these are the things like I'm not good at stand up comedy. I've never tried it.

I'm going to tell you something. I was an average tap dancer when I was a little girl. Really? I would have picked you with the long legs. I mean, I was pretty good. I wasn't as good as some of the girls, but I would say I was average. I'm not that great at tennis, but I play every day with enthusiasm. But it's okay for my coach and for people to tell me, Jennifer, you're not that great at tennis. I just don't want them to tell me I'm not an athlete. Right. As long as they tell you you're an athlete, it's fine. The best thing my mom ever did for me was tell me I was a bad singer when I was young. Yeah.

Because I wanted to do vocal lessons. I thought I was good. And she said, sweetie, what about the guitar? And I got the hint and I've known the rest of my life. Yeah. That's what I'm saying. That's what I'm saying. That's the message that we need to send to people starting with flight attendants all the way to that girl that pretended she was a standup comedian.

Which apparently two people in this room went along with that. Yeah, we did. We went along with it. And you know what? You know what you did? She's probably out there still torturing other people because you didn't have the balls. You didn't and you didn't to stand up to that. And just say you fucking suck. And you know what this all leads to? Stanley Cubs and Trump. Straight line. There's no question. There's no question about it. No question. No question.

Okay. We don't have any shows. We have a Patreon. We have a YouTube channel. We have another podcast. We have a new social media account, Blue Sky. And we will see you next Tuesday and Thursday. I'll tell you what I've had it with.

Listen up, patriots, gay-triots, and natriots. We have a new podcast that has dropped. It's called IHIP News. It's Monday through Friday, every day, 15 to 20-minute hot takes on the political landscape of the United States of America, always served with a side of petty grievances. We are on all the available platforms, Apple, Spotify, Google, whatever you get your podcasts and YouTube.

please go rate subscribe and review so that we will chart upwards with america's greatest legal mind pumps and pumps what does an eagle say a little bit more enthusiasm that's it that's that's that's the patriotism that this country needs right there

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