Dogs of Divorce
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Listener, for this episode of I've Had It, we've partnered with eHarmony, the dating app to find someone you can be yourself with. Pops, what's going on out there on the dating apps? It's unbelievable how many people try to be something they're not on dating apps and

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Mike Tirico here with some of the 2024 Team USA athletes. What's your message for the team of tomorrow? To young athletes, never forget why you started doing it in the first place. You have to pursue something that you're passionate about. Win, lose, or draw, I'm always going to be the one having a smile on my face. Finding joy in why you do it keeps you doing it.

Be authentic, be you, and have fun. Joy is powering Team USA during the Olympic and Paralympic Games. Comcast is proud to be bringing that inspiration home for the team of tomorrow. So are we supposed to start the podcast? Ready? One, two, three. I mean, just the clap to end all claps. I mean, it's, you know what's so pitiful about us is we could sit here for about five to ten minutes.

each Tuesday and Thursday and talk about your clap and how good it was or how piss poor it was with the same enthusiasm.

And like, oh, it's going to be a great episode because the clap was good. Or this is going to suck because the clap was bad. Like we believe in it. Totally. We believe in it and our listeners believe in it. However, there are a few. There are a few. Skunks at the garden party that are dismissive of your clap and the importance of it in launching each and every episode. Right. They minimize liability. All we're trying to do is help everybody. Yeah.

This is when it starts. It starts with the clap. Here we go. We're knocking it out. Starting with a great big clap. I recommend when you wake up in the morning, even if your partner, specifically if your partner is still asleep, just count to yourself. One, two, three, clap. Yeah. And then just launch the day. Launch the day. See how that works out. Yeah. Do it. Probably not great if I'm guessing. What have you had it with?

Okay, what I've had it with, I know it always goes back to cars, but this really grinds my gears. We were just recently in a city that was all one way, had no parking. The fucking parallel parkers that cannot parallel park. What is, is it one try? Is it two try? At what point do you realize you're blocking traffic and it's never going to fucking happen? You can't parallel park.

And so I think two, I think if you can't get it after two, you have to be done. But I am a great parallel parker. So maybe I'm just ridiculously overly sensitive to people that cannot. Because as you watch someone, you know they're not going to be able to do it. And they can, like, I think the most we had was like five tries. So I've had it with people that can't parallel park and then continue to make the same mistake every time. So I'm wondering from you, what do you think is,

Is it two shots? Is it three shots? How many shots do you get? Two and done. Two and done. I agree. I think two, if you can't get it by two...

You're done. Find somewhere else. Two and done. You get two tries. Yeah. And by the second try, if you've not been able to execute the parallel park, you have to proceed. Right. Now, if there's nobody anywhere around and you're not blocking, swing for the fences. Agree. Go 25,000 tries. But let me ask you this. Are you a better clapper or parallel parker?

Boy, that's a tough one. I would have to say, I mean, I'm a really good parallel parker, just because at the courthouse, you've always had to parallel park. So I've had a lot of practice, probably have more practice parallel parking. I don't know. I mean, maybe I'm a better parallel parker than I am a clapper. Gotcha. Okay. All right. Let me tell you what I've had it with. Okay, lay it on me.

I've had it with coded language. Okay. And let me give you an example of this. Like the phrase traditional family values. Oh, gross. Yes. My problem is with the word traditional. Right. Okay.

First and foremost, that is when people use that phrase, we're a traditional family. What they're trying to do in using that is further marginalize marginalized people. Agree. Like gay people. Right. And here's what people need to know. Most gay people, by virtue of

stats came from what quote unquote would be considered a traditional family, which is a man woman, right? Produced child, right? You know, now we have gays and lesbians that are couples that are adopting and or doing surrogacy. And that would be considered to these people, not to me, but to these people, non-traditional.

But first of all, I have to say about this. Number one, everybody fucking supports family. It's not like anybody is out going, yeah, my name is Pumps and I'm running for president and I oppose family. I hate everything about family. You know, just the fact when you have somebody bragging about something that is just universally accepted and they say this is a positive thing.

value that I hold, which is family, or something like I support children, you know, it's like, well, no shit, Sherlock, you know, that doesn't make you the smartest guy in the room. But using the word traditional family values, that shit so pisses me off, because it's like, okay, I'm

First of all, okay, let's take Mike Pence. Okay. Mike Pence, he's a big traditional family value guy. I think it's kind of fucked up that he calls his wife mother. That's what I was just going to say. I mean, his traditional family values gag me out. Calling her mother. It's weird. And I also, when you hear traditional family values, my immediate thought is misogynist.

misogyny. They want women to be subservient. That is too. They use the word traditional like ladies are younger listeners if you're dating a guy right now and he says to you, well, I'm traditional.

That's code for I'm a sexist misogynist. Correct. That is just... And at first, your in-love pheromone riddled self might think, oh, he wants to open the door for me. He wants to do these chivalrous-like activities for me. But what it means is he wants you home. Right. Not having financial independence. Correct. And it's a red flag. No, I agree. And then as this goes into politics and you have people like Ted Cruz...

saying he's for traditional family values. I just want to remind the listener, and I think we need to bring this up at least two to three times annually. On the anniversary of 9-11 a few years back, Ted Cruz, Mr. Traditional Family Values Man, Patriot Galore, USA hard on out the wazoo, liked a tweet that was from a porn site. Right. Right.

which is neither traditionally a family value style tweet. And one could argue is somewhat anti-American to do that on the anniversary of 9-11. Yeah. And I mean, I'm not browbeating people for watching porn, but he particularly should not be

Standing up there saying what a great Christian he is and how he has traditional family values and then scrolling around on a porn site. I mean, that just it's it's counterintuitive. But I mean, are we surprised that Ted's.

You know, into porn. No. No, I'm not. Not at all. No. The loudest, the loudest, most obnoxious people objecting to something are the biggest defenders. They're just trying to hide it. Listener, if you vote for somebody that says they're for traditional family values and then you voted for Trump twice, fuck off. Please do not listen to our podcast. Block us. Please block us on all social media. Please don't even...

leave a very well thought out hate comment on our reviews. Yes. Just go away. Go away. Welcome to I've Had It, where we are fighting traditional family values every step of the way. I'm Jennifer. I'm Angie. She is not in a traditional family. No. She's a divorcee. She's a divorcee. She is a divorcee.

On the market for men or women, we were, I personally am going to start accepting applications for review and read those to everybody on Patreon. I think that would be so fun. Yeah, we were talking about it on the plane the other day. Wouldn't it be fun just to have like a burner dating website?

profiles that you could see other people that you know are on there and see what they're saying and shit. I mean, it'd be kind of fun. I just can't wait to make your profile, Judge Judy Diana. Yes, please. Patron saint of podcasting. Maybe I should get several bikini pics that I can add up there. Don't you think? Should I do my hanger trick on there? Hanger trick. Yeah. Hang that wire hanger off your titty. Yeah. I think that'd be great. I think that's more only fans. Oh yeah. What do I, I always call it what? Fans only. Okay.

Kylie always corrects me and I'm like, I just have a mental block to that. We'll be in a conversation and Pumps will be like, yeah, you know, they have like a fan only account. And then Kylie kind of closes her eyes and she goes, only fans. Yeah. Kylie, what's going on with you? Not much.

Are you sick of us? No, not at all. Oh, that's so nice. I bet that's a lie. It's not a lie. I mean, we're sick of us. So you have to be sick of us. Yeah. No, you guys are just such a delight. Aren't we just a real treat? You are. I mean, just nothing but roses and lollipops. Just beacons of positivity. A lot of people disagree with that, though, on the internet.

They do. There's a lot of naysayers, aren't there? There are. I've got some good hate comments for you. Okay, good. Okay, so we posted a video of you two with Josh Welch on the internet. Okay. Someone commented, collectively, worn out vajayjays like these fossils pictured above smell like vodka and cigarettes. Dot, dot, dot. The gay friend doesn't help the smell either. And that gay friend is Josh Welch.

What was this on? A video? It was on Twitter, yeah. On Twitter? On a video of you two and Josh. I love that. That's pretty good. That's a really good one. Yeah. That's a really, really great hate comment. The worn out vajayjays and the gay man. That should be our tagline. We should change the name of the podcast. This man wrote, I can smell the feminism from this podcast. And then someone commented, and it smells like boxed wine and cat litter. Oh.

So first of all, in his world, feminism is a bad word. It's a bad descriptor. Right. Sounds like if you're a feminist, you're just a real dick. Right. In his world. So my comment to that would be block us, go away, go fuck yourself. Yeah, go fuck yourself. You know, here's something I found that we're doing this at the age that we're in. Right. Is...

Society as a whole only really values women or sees their opinion deemable during their birthing years. And then when you get to be our age, we're very dismissed.

We're a very dismissed group of women in general. It's like, oh, everything and everything is surrounding our age or our vaginas. It's a very ageist, sexist age that we're in. And listen, we have thick skin. I can take it. But I think it's a larger question. When men hit their 50s, this conversation doesn't really happen. Nobody's like running around, you know, saying limp dick. I mean, pumps and I are to be fair. Other than us. Other than us.

but we're really petty. But it's women that are our age, whether it's other women our age or younger, it's like women are so only valued during their birthing years. And then once that they're just literally sent out to the pasture and you see that echoed through every single platform that we're on YouTube, Instagram,

Twitter, all of them. We're very dismissed because of our age. Right. We're past our prime, as they say. Yeah. Yeah. Which I'm so much smarter now than I was when I was younger. Isn't that the truth? I mean, if I had this much life experience and wisdom that I have now at 25, I might have like

Done something with your life? Done something with my life. Like cured cancer or something. Probably not cured cancer because I can't do math that well. But I would have done something more productive. I would have definitely made better choices. But the one resounding link between all the hate comments is...

Yeah. And it particularly is more targeted towards women. Now, listen, again, I'm not moaning about this. We voluntarily put ourselves on the Internet. This is a volunteer position. We open ourselves up to all sorts of criticism by doing this. And we're not victims of that. Right.

We actually get tickled by it. But I think it's really funny that that's... They immediately... The immediate thing is you're shriveled up the jeans. I mean, that's the... And they think that that like hurts us. Right. Which it doesn't. But it's like that is...

I think an interesting conversation to have in another episode about how women are really boxed into these are the years that you're valuable. Right. And then after that, get the fuck out of here. Everything you say is irrelevant. Your vagina is irrelevant. Get the fuck out. And that's the common link. Wouldn't you say, Kylie? Yeah. Hag is like the main word I see. Yeah. Bitter old hag. Yeah. Bitter old cow was one of my favorites. Cow, that's a good one. Yeah. Yeah. And it's always dried up, shriveled.

They also assume you don't have kids and so that you're miserable. Right, right. Which is a whole nother...

Right. Like you have to have kids to be fulfilled in life. Right. Which is not true. Which we do have kids. We're just not the type of moms that sit around and talk about our kids nonstop because it's more fun to rail on the moms that do that than be the mom that does that. And kids stories are generally boring. Horrifically boring. Yeah. Breathtakingly boring to hear about somebody else's kid. Right. Nobody cares.

Nobody fucking cares. Nobody but you. We're doing a public service by not talking about our children. That's right. I can't imagine if I had to sit here and listen to you tell children's stories every day. I would have left a long time ago. I wouldn't have made it. No. I think the podcast would have tanked. Yeah. Immediately. Immediately. Nobody fucking wants to hear that. I do like your dog stories though. Yeah. See, I could live without the dog stories too. Yeah. You know one thing I was thinking about a lot lately, recently? What?

And Kylie will understand this. You won't. But oftentimes, you know, you're at a divorce attorney. So I want your input on this. Oftentimes, we're always concerned about how divorce impacts the child. Right. And I've been thinking a lot lately about how divorce impacts dogs. Yeah.

Oh my gosh. It's real. I wish you would not have told me that. But think about it. Like I see Cha Cha and Tevi and they have their own special relationship with me. And then they have their own special relationship with Josh. And if one of us was gone,

You know, they have grief and they could have issues relating to that. And so have you ever had in your divorce career as a divorce attorney, like dog visitation schedules or does anybody care about this? Does anybody advocate for the animal? Okay, I have one story about that. I might have already told it on the podcast, but it's worthy of telling again. So when I was just a baby lawyer, we had an older couple, probably our age-ish now. They only had two golden retrievers. They didn't have kids.

So when they got divorced, they were fighting over seeing the dogs. So we did a schedule week on week off, like they were with dad a week, they were with mom a week, alternated equal time for the people. So the hateful, mean, awful spouse, soon to be ex-spouse of my client,

When it was her week, she took them to the vet and had them put down. You told me this before and I blocked it. Euthanized them to punish him. So that's incredibly fucked up. Shouldn't that be a crime? It wasn't at the time. I don't think it's a crime to have your dogs put to sleep. I think it should totally be a crime. We had an agreement to the visitation schedule, but the court doesn't have a...

court order with visitation for the dog. I think she should be in the penitentiary under the death penalty. Seriously. So we have people have fought over dogs, but ultimately it ends up becoming a bigger hassle. Like the parties have to see each other when they exchange the animals. I would fight to the bitter end.

to make sure that I had equal visitation with my dogs. Right. I mean, that would be something that I would leave money on the table because I value and care about their health and well-being. And I just don't think this topic is discussed very often. What happens to the dog in divorce? Well, I think that's because there are a lot of other issues more pressing when you're getting a divorce than how the dogs feel. Which is why I think this needs to be discussed. Yeah, but I would say...

Out of 100 problems that you have going through a divorce, even if the dog is the most beloved person in the family, it's probably 101. Kylie, how would you feel if you and Anna broke up about Judy's well-being? It'd be a really big issue. Exactly. Right. I get why people stay together for the kids. Right. Some people might stay together for the dogs. Yeah. I just looked up online, and there are a lot of articles of...

how divorce affects dogs and the side effects that come with it, depression, anxiety, bad behavior, anger. I think we need to do an entire episode about this, not only to highlight...

the struggle of the dog during divorce, but also to torture pumps for a solid 45 to 55 minutes. Yeah, I was just going to say during that episode, can I just like stick needles in my eyes or like stab myself in the kidney with a better knife? Absolutely not. You have to willingly and enthusiastically participate. And you will be our legal expert on the panel when we roll out this episode. But the point you're missing is that

The judge doesn't have, the court doesn't have any jurisdiction over a pet. Okay. Here's the deal. All right. I, the court might not have any jurisdiction over the pet, but our hearts have jurisdiction over the pet. And we as people that love animals more than we love human beings, Kylie and me, and a

want to explore this often neglected topic. I mean, I wonder if there's even a podcast episode out there about this. There's going to be. This is going to be. Oh, God, please. This is going to change the game in podcasting. Judge Judy, Diana. Judge Judy, Diana.

Permanent record, entry number one. Pumps is not a good pet owner. We should do like a Jerry Springer moment where we bring Scout out at the end. Oh, God, that would be so good. I don't want him that close to me. I'm afraid he'll go home with me. That would be so good. Any more hate comments? Someone with the name Somewhat Obese Platypus wrote, The amount of war paint and hair dye is almost too much to digest. Ha ha!

I think he's making fun of our makeup and hair. I will say that it does take like jet fuel to get our hair this blonde. Oh, yeah. I mean, I think we resemble that and we'll take that in stride. All right, listener, listen up. We have as a guest today in studio a former sorority sister. I guess it's not former. I guess it's forever. It's forever. A sorority sister of Pumps' from the Kappa House at the University of Oklahoma University.

Like Pumps' like most prized accomplishment of her life is having been a Kappa at the University of Oklahoma. And her sorority sister, who now lives in L.A. and owns a very popular makeup brand. And she's visiting friends and family in Oklahoma. And we have her in studio. Let's get Pumps' sorority sister, Nikeo Greco, in here.

Mike Tirico here with some of the 2024 Team USA athletes. What's your message for the team of tomorrow? To young athletes, never forget why you started doing it in the first place. You have to pursue something that you're passionate about. Win, lose, or draw, I'm always going to be the one having a smile on my face. Finding joy in why you do it keeps you doing it.

Be authentic, be you, and have fun. Joy is powering Team USA during the Olympic and Paralympic Games. Comcast is proud to be bringing that inspiration home for the team of tomorrow. Every sandwich has bread. Every burger has a bun. But these warm, golden, smooth steamed buns? These are special. Reserved for the very best. The Filet-O-Fish. And you. You can have them too.

Ba-da-ba-ba-ba.

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Go to ZocDoc.com slash I've had it and download the ZocDoc app for free. Then find and book a top rated doctor today. That's Z-O-C-D-O-C.com slash I've had it. ZocDoc.com slash I've had it.

Okay, Nikeo Greco, sorority sister of Pumps. I mean, that in and of itself could be an entire podcast. 100%. She kept saying former, and I was like, no, it's not former. It's forever. Yes. She kept saying there's in the bond forever. I think for the layman, for a lot of our listeners that probably are not in Greek culture, it seems silly. Yeah.

Not to diminish your sisterhood, but I think you kind of are. Once college is over, then it would be a former. But y'all, I consider myself. We cement the bond. That's right. Okay. When we're young. Yeah. I met Pumps when I was 18. Yep. She was our pledge trainer, which meant she taught us our group, our pledge class. How'd she do? She's really good. She taught us how to be Kappa ladies. Yeah.

You know, all the manners, the behavior at parties. Right. You know, she really laid the groundwork for the, you know, ultimate women we became. Really? I'm dying laughing. Let me ask you this. So you're telling me that she trained you on how to be a lady and how to behave at parties. Yes. During that era, did you ever see her...

not behaving at parties and not acting like a lady. I mean, I think we just looked up to her so much that we took every example to heart, right? So, you know, when Pumps was like, you girls need to get it together. It was grades. It was manners, behavior. Don't let your dates get too drunk on the bus. You know, that type of thing. But when we saw Pumps having a good time, we knew that we would grow in to this.

Fun vibe. You have no idea how happy I am this makes me because you're so incredulous about it. Well, I just, listener, here's just the thing I have to tell you that just, it shocks me to my core. Yeah.

from the time that her daughter was a baby until now she is a Kappa, Pump's number one goal for her child was for the child to be a member of the Kappa Kappa Gamma sorority. Yes. And I just...

Don't relate to that. I just, I think there's a fear of possibly peaking too soon. And what if your child wants to be involved in something more serious?

and intellectual or what have you. I just, I don't relate to this on so many levels. And furthermore, Pumps brought to my office at one point her sorority pin. I have mine in my bag. She brought the pin and sat down with me and a girl that worked for me to review Emily, her daughter's resume. And at the time, Emily was in ninth grade in high school.

But the high school years are what's important on your resume. They don't care before eighth grade. Right. And I just I thought it was a little silly. You're acting like you can't be both intellectual and worried about what's working. By the way, we like won in grades at OU and Kappa. We were always like number one, number two in grades. Yeah. And KO just got the national Kappa Kappa Gamma award.

Person of the Year Award like two years ago at our national convention. Yeah. I'd never been to the national convention before, but it was quite the honor. And, you know, it was such an interesting event.

experience for me overall. I wasn't actually planning on going to OU. I thought I was going to go away. I grew up in Norman. You know, my parents were really encouraging me to fly, go see other parts of the world. And it wasn't until pretty much the last minute I decided not to go to Syracuse and to go to OU. And so I had to sort of rush to get into the rush game. And

And, you know, now when I look back in retrospect, you know, I just wanted to be in one of the houses that all my high school girlfriends that were older than me were in. But, you know, and being a black female at the time, I mean, Kappa at OU has gotten definitely more diverse since then. I was the first. Yeah.

black kappa kappa gamma OU. But in my head, I thought like, oh, I'm just going to go hang out with my friends. And I wasn't even really thinking about that aspect. But now it makes me really proud. When I think about that, when I think about how far we've come as a society with race from the early 90s to now, we've come a long way because I grew up in the white suburbs of Oklahoma City. And

racism at the time, I didn't really know that it was certainly racism in the manner that I know it now, but it was kind of cooked into the culture and cooked into the books. And when I, as a progressive liberal think about sororities and fraternities, I think a little bit, my mind thinks a little bit white supremacy, white supremacist organizations. So that is incredible in that

not early nineties. Yeah. 1991. Yeah. 1991 that you, uh,

experience racism throughout that process? It was really interesting because I grew up in Norman, which is a university town where the University of Oklahoma is, and had a very happy childhood. My neighborhood was actually more diverse because it's where a lot of professors that were recruited. I was born in New York and my parents taught on the East Coast. And then my dad started the African Studies program at Oklahoma. So that's why I moved here when I was almost nine years old. And

I think my first sort of experience of, oh, wow, there's this undercurrent of what's not right, really happened to me when I was a junior. And for the first time I was going to school with, I mean, I think I'd only gone to school with two or three black kids on the West Side. Right. Most of whom I was related to. That, you know, all of a sudden now I was in this much more diverse culture in our high school years and

And then when I got to OU, went through Rush, it was, you know, everybody was very kind. A lot of people sort of questioned why I was going through predominantly white Rush. Honestly, for me, and maybe it's just naivete, maybe it's being a first generation American. I was sort of raised to be so proud of my race and my culture, but never to separate myself out from everyone else. Right. And so, yeah, I got a lot of slack from from.

definitely a lot of the black sororities who sort of saw me as this kind of sellout for, for going. But then also there, you know, a lot of small town, Oklahoma, small town, Texas people who just didn't get it, had a problem with it. But I think, you know, since I was really young, I've,

you know, I am a recovering people pleaser, but I definitely feel like when I was young, I just sort of stuck to my own authenticity, even in the exploration of figuring out exactly who that was. And so while I cared and I would get my feelings hurt, I also sort of just chalked it up to like,

They just, you know, I can't teach people how to treat me. I just have to show by example. That's awesome. Okay, before we get into what you've had it with, I want the listener to know, since you left Norman, graduated from the University of Oklahoma, you are now the CEO and founder of an incredibly successful makeup brand that is available at all JCPenney's, correct? Yeah, so I'm a retailer now. I mean, I was a skincare founder before.

And then in 2020, in the midst of the global pandemic and a racial reckoning, I all of a sudden when those lists started coming out of like top black owned shop and to follow, I was at the top of those lists. It just kept happening, kept happening. And then I would discover on a list of like 500 black owned brands to shop.

That two things were happening. One, I was getting a lot of DMs from people asking if they could use, you know, from my previous brand, my face oil, because they weren't black, as if black and brown people only make products. I'm like, well, I'm pretty sure I use Laura Mercier powder and I know she's not black. So like...

It's cool. You can put it on your face. And then white people are so stupid. It's fascinating. And then B, I would see all of these brands on the list with me. And I'm like, who, who's this? What's this incredible brand? And then it went from like black owned to then black and brown owned to indigenous owned. And I started discovering brands.

all of these incredible brands created by people of color who make products for everyone like no distribution and so I say that's when I sort of took my pain and I turned it into purpose and I was like well guess what I'm gonna do I'm gonna start a platform like a goop or violet gray but 90% of all the brands that I carry are gonna be created by these people by myself and

people of color who make products for everyone. But because I wasn't interested in resegregating the beauty aisle, I dedicated 10% to fostering allyship. I had, with my previous brand, sold on Goop. And so Gwyneth Paltrow had kind of become, you know, a friend, a mentor. And so when starting the platform, she was really sort of mentoring me because of her success with Goop on how to do it. She became one of my first investors.

And then we now, just over two and a half years later, carry 190 brands. I love it. I think it's great work. I mean, I'm just sitting here looking at you going, oh my God, she's so amazing. I mean, really? Well, you taught me to be this way. She did. I wish I could take credit. I think I just said don't smoke a cigarette and walk at the same time. And you said do not hold a drink while you're dancing on the dance floor. That was a big rule. See?

Two words, two little rules to live by. Which is funny because I've seen you walk and hold a cigarette so many times. I know. Yeah. But it wasn't in a party pic. It was never in a party. Never in a party pic. OK, so let's let's talk about what you've had it with. Oh, goodness. I mean, you know, this whole.

and it's beautiful of like women supporting women is something that, you know, we're all fighting for like the small slice of the pie. Like I don't get it. One of the things that I've realized over the past, especially last three years, that in success, sometimes women don't like to see other people win. So I've really had it with women who like claim like, I'm a woman who supports women. And then really don't. I've really had it with like,

Mean girls in their 40s and 50s. It's like that's so not cool. It's not cool to ever be a mean girl. But it's really... And like the judgment. It's like we are...

I mean, I just turned 50 and I was talking to one of my dear friends yesterday about what feels people keep asking, like, what feels different at 50? And I think it's like the no BS factor and no room for toxic people. Right. And so as someone who always like, like my girlfriends are my life, they are, they are my chosen family.

But like I've had a few breakups and yeah, but it's been liberating. I have to let you in on a little secret. And I know our audience right now is probably thinking who's going to tell her. And pumps and I are kind of 50 year old mean girls. We get accused of being mean girls. I mean, I've read the comments. I've seen what the trolls have to say, but.

Here's what I want to say about this. The whole concept of mean girl culture is a myth. It is a complete myth and it perpetuates sexism and further stereotypes women that they are supposed to be nice and polite and so supportive of each other all the time. And Harvard did a study on this and

If you think about your interactions with the last 100 people, it's not bias towards women being meaner to you than it is men. It's split equally. And so I think as women, we need to move the conversation off

of putting the pressure on women for women to support women and women not to be mean girls and women to do this and women to do that. I have a great fucking idea. What? How about the white guys that have been running the country forever? How about they do better? Yeah, I like that. I stand by that. Let's take the pressure off of women because here's my...

of the women supporting women thing. I think that it's dangerous and not sustainable or tenable as people navigate modern culture on social media to not get irritated at people. When men get irritated at people and express a viewpoint about it, nobody thinks anything of it. But when a woman does it, like pumps in me, we're considered mean girls. And actually, sometimes,

sometimes as a woman, you see other guys do stupid shit that you think is stupid and you call it out, especially if you're loud mouth podcasters like pumps and me, or you see women do a lot of stupid shit and you call it out. Right. I think over stereotyping and over analyzing and placing all of this pressure on women is bullshit. And so I think as women, um,

Take the fucking pressure off women. Sometimes you want to be a bitch for the day. Yeah. Fucking be a bitch. Yeah. Yeah. Men get to be dicks all the time. Right. Right. Nobody calls them out. But when a woman has a strong opinion or maybe an unfavorable opinion to brand them or label them as a mean girl, I think is kind of anti-woman. Yeah. We get to be frustrated. Right. Right.

I think we get to be frustrated and we do get to be a bitch if we're having a day. Like we have permission to really be authentically how we are. I think my point is when, and I love what you said about men and really sort of reframing the concept of mean girl. I think what I'm referring to is when a human being tries to,

minimize, come after, you know, for instance, I'll use an example that a woman, a person had said in, you know, the success of 13 Loon and the opportunities that we've had that, well, those opportunities happen for her because she's black. It's mean, but dismissive, dismissive.

Definitely steeped in some racism. Totally racist. Yeah. I mean, it's not steeped in racism. That is racist. Yeah. And so... Overt racism. Right. And so when I speak about these experiences that I've had with these people, sadly, some of them or all of them are women. That being said, part of, you know, you've really opened my eyes because when I think about why, especially other entrepreneur women that behave this way,

It's because we're all fighting for this slice of the pie that in an industry that is really, truly supported by women to the tune of billions of dollars, but controlled by men. That's right. Okay, we digress. And these are all very important things, but we want to play a game with you. Oh, I love games. Okay, it's called Had It or Hit It. Oh my God. Welcome to Had It or Hit It. I would hit it. Had it.

I hit it every day, sometimes twice a day. Had it or hit it, Power Moms. Let me tell you what a Power Mom is. Okay. Power Mom is a tomahawk chopper that circulates around the schools in mom group me's PTA meetings. Had it. You know, it's so funny because I travel a lot for my job. And one of these Power Moms, when I was at back to school night, it's really only women that ever say this to me too. Like...

my God, I saw your Instagram. How do you do it? Is it so hard on David that you travel so much? I'm like, I'm pretty sure nobody has ever asked me when David's out of town. Oh, honey, is it hard for you with your husband out of town? Or she'll say, I mean, I don't, it's so good to see you here. Had it. Yeah, I've had it too. And we've been traveling a lot recently and I have people.

How do you do it all? How do you do it all? Well, I get up in the morning. I brush my teeth. I put my clothes on. I go to work. I travel to fabulous places. Yeah. Sleep in hotels. Speak at conferences. Have lunch with my friends. And...

make money for my family, and then I go home. Right. No, it's modern motherhood. Yeah. Okay. Had it or hit it. GRWM videos, which is Get Ready With Me videos. So I'm in the beauty industry. So, you know, I don't, I mean, hit it. Yes. But this is a two parter. I'm really conflicted about how I feel with the Get Ready With Me, but they're like talking about other things in life or the Get Ready With Me's that are like,

almost shame you if you're not doing it in a certain way I like the creativity of a get ready with me where they're like this is how you do a smoky eye you know educational videos gotcha but like do I really want to watch you put your makeup on and hear about like your day at school or how wasted you got last yeah yeah I think there's get ready with me abuse that's going on

There's a lot of abusers out there in the get ready with me. I just launched cosmetics and my brand relevant. And so there will be coming soon. Some get ready with me, but I'm open. You're a professional, but you're a professional. You're a professional. What's happening to your industry on the internet is a shame. Yeah. Had it or hit it. The word no as a complete sentence. Hit it. Yeah.

Same. I love that. The power of saying no. No. And sometimes you don't have to say anything beyond it. Just no. And that's something age gets you. Yes. Where you can say no without having to explain why. No. Because the answer, the explanation is,

It's not necessary. Right. No thank you works too. Yeah, it does. Keep it sweet. If he does. But we have, as we established earlier, a real mean girl reputation that we have to hold up. So we just stick with no. No, not today. I also like to use unsubscribe. Oh, that's a good one. Yes, that is a good one. Okay. Had it or hid it, nude lipstick.

Hit it and I'll tell you why. Because had it would have been my answer a few years ago. But now there's amazing brands like we carry a brand called Citizen Cosmetics created by three sisters from Dubai and London who created products.

Where everyone can find their nude. Oh. Lipstick and gloss and many other great products, too. So now I'm all about a nude lip because I can find my nude. I read this thing probably on the Internet, for sure on the Internet. It's the only place that I read that it said that the nude, your nude color of lipstick is the same color as your labia.

what I thought that was pretty interesting that you have to go match your the color of your vagine you just have to take it in the beauty counter just red eagle just gotta throw your undie off go commando and then take the little color chart with a little mirror and then figure out what your proper name is and someone who has several beauty stores if someone ever came into me and said my labia color is this do you have a gloss or lip I'd probably call security yeah no kidding you probably

call the police. But I think that was your problem with the nude lipstick attempt the other day. You didn't match it with my labia. I need to pull that out and see what that would be. I mean, listen, to each his own, but

their own, but I, I, I've never heard that. I had, but I'm for sure going to tell everybody for sure. Okay. Last one, had it or hit it Oklahoma. Well, hit it for the reasons that this is where I grew up, where I have so many people that I love and,

What I've had it with in Oklahoma is just some old paradigm BS. Yep. But I have hope for the great state. And and I do believe that it's important for people who are more progressive thinkers to be to stay in this community, to be a part of this community, to be active in this community.

I think having, you know, a great university like University of Oklahoma, you know, has really propelled the state forward. But yeah, we just got to have the right leaders in place and not. We don't. We don't. That's the problem. All right. K.O., I cannot thank you enough for coming to be with your team.

Not former sister. Current. But sister in perpetuity. Yes. That's right. In perpetuity. Forever. In perpetuity. And shout out to all the KKGs, Lindsay, Apple, Ashley, the whole pledge class, all of them. The new initiates that I came to. That's right. To welcome in. She went to initiation on Saturday. Yeah. That's why I'm here. To welcome in the new sisters. I'm so glad because I bet you our listeners are chock full of a bunch of just, you know, sorority thumpers out there. Yeah.

Yes, you're welcome. You're welcome. No, I will say, I kid you guys, I do think it's so sweet. I tell peps this, her sorority sister friends are some of my favorite friends of hers. And the connection that you all have and how you stay in contact is amazing.

precious darling and I love it I get tired of hearing about it wow I think sometimes people make it into a much bigger deal than what it is wait till you can just say Angie start singing Kappa songs oh her daughter doesn't do that all the time yeah she'll chase around singing Kappa songs on vacation I love it okay listen up listener go join us on Patreon the hot shit tour voice memos voice memos to our Instagram pumps tell them when we'll see them see you next Tuesday or Thursday or both

I'll tell you what I've had it with.