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This episode of I've Had It is brought to you by Just Thrive. Right now you can save 20% off a 90-day bottle of Just Thrive probiotic or Just Calm at justthrivehealth.com with promo code HAD IT. So are we supposed to start the podcast? One, two, three.

I'm just getting so good at that. It's unbelievable. I might be picked up with a bigger and brighter podcast and leave you on the desk because they need me to come on and be the clapper. You know what? I mean, my star is on the rise. I hope that happens for you.

Welcome to I've Had It Podcast. We're going to go straight into the intro because today we are going to have a special thruple episode. The most special of guests. The non-practicing thruple. I'm Jennifer. I'm Angie. And today we have my husband, Josh Welch, co-hosting with myself and the star of our show, Pumps. Shut up.

And Josh, welcome. Hello, hello, hello. It's been a hot minute since I've got to appear on the now famous I've Had It podcast. Maybe infamous. Infamous, yeah. I think we could probably go with infamous. Well, Josh, what we like to do is start out with what we've had it with, and I'm going to go first since I have the mic right now. Okay. I have a slight grievance that I'd like to air with you, Pumps. Okay.

It dates back to two to three weeks ago, a little bit of time ago, where you come by the office because we need to do some podcasting stuff. Okay. And then you say, I have to leave and I have to leave right now because there's going to be lightning outside. And I look outside and much to my surprise, I don't see one lightning bolt. Let me finish. I don't see one lightning bolt. I do not see here one, you know, lightning bolt.

thunder. I don't hear one bolt of thunder. I hear nothing. And you're like stage five meltdown drinking the meteorologist Kool-Aid. And I remind you, remember, we're on the permanent record of having it with meteorologists. Right. And you were like, you know, stage five panic mode, much to my surprise, you race out the door, much to my surprise, the remainder of that day, I neither saw lightning, heard thunder,

or a raindrop. So I just wanted to inject that, that it disappoints me that you bought into the hype and to the hysteria. Had it. I had it with that on that day. I still continue to have it. We need better out of you pumps. It was a relapse of epic proportions and I don't want that shit to happen again. Well, here's the deal. Why I was so panicked about it is because that was during the women's college world series.

And they had stopped play and ordered everybody out of the stadium during the game. Were you at the stadium? Yes or no? No, no, no, no, no. Were you at the stadium? No, I wasn't. But I heard that. So I thought, oh, my gosh, it's so bad. What I didn't realize because the next night I went to the game and we had to evacuate twice for no fucking reason. So I was hysterical. It was tied into my softball watching. That's why I was I would not watch a meteorologist. Let me ask you. Take their word for it. Let me ask you this.

Would you believe that sometimes people lack deduction skills? Well, yes or no. Just follow the logic for me. Would you believe, yes or no, that people sometimes lack deduction skills? Yes. Okay. So would you agree that people that are sitting stationary in an open stadium in metal seats...

is a, and lots of them, like thousands of them, is a greater risk than you inside my office building completely protected. Yes, but the last time it was, they forecasted weather like that, I got hail all the way down when I left here because it was during hail. It wasn't a hail warning. It was a lightning warning. No, I know, but I just got nervous.

But it was just tied into my softball hysteria. No, I have not relapsed and started watching the local weather. Fuck no. But yeah, I was kind of like nervous about it because of the softball game because I was like, oh my gosh, if they're going to evacuate the stadium, the weather's going to be bad. I

I just didn't know they did it on a drop of a hat. What happened? Fucking nothing. Fucking nothing. We've gone over this multiple times. What has happened to you two since I've been gone? What in the world has happened? Are we cranky and bitchier than you remember? I mean, you've turned into a weather hypochondriac.

She's monitoring your every move about your reaction to the weather. I mean, it's just insanity. Maybe we've been together too much. I mean, if it was batshit crazy in October of last year, it is triple batshit crazy. Jesus Christ. I can't defend it. I cannot defend it. Josh, what have you had it with? Okay, so I've had it with conversations that turn awkward with new acquaintances and I

There's no way to get out of the conversation. And let me put it in context for you. So Jennifer and I spent a weekend with some lovely friends and I ended up, and this was at their lake house, and I ended up visiting with a lady that I didn't know at all. And we've all had these social interactions where you're kind of quarantined with a person and it just ends up being you and the person. And you didn't seek that out, but that's how it happened.

And so I'm sitting there with this lady and she's maybe 10 or 15, 20 years older than me. We don't know each other. We've never met, but it's just she and I. And so we're having this conversation and in the course of the conversation, it's getting so awkward and there's pauses. And then I'm saying something and she says something and then she ends up saying something

that her husband's dead. And then she corrects herself within just a few minutes and says, I don't know why I said that. And that's an example. And then I'm kind of looking at her. I mean, we both know the conversation has gone on way too long because we're both just now we're making shit up. We're just free balling it. We're both just, and I've been killed off her husband. She killed off her husband. And then she acknowledged, uh,

And here's what I thought was interesting. Like, I've been a part of conversations where I've told little white lies. Like, someone will say, hey, I'm from Charleston, South Carolina. And I'll say, well, that's a great town. I love that. Well, I've never been there. But here's the deal with this gal.

Her lie is so massive because her husband is like 15 feet away from us that she knows in the course of the conversation, she's got to own the lie. She's like, fuck, I can't just let this lie go by. I've got to say I'm full of shit.

You know what I'm saying? Because there's a lot of white lies that you have in these conversations you can just roll right past. Never been to Charleston, South Carolina, but I'm going to say, God, that's a great town, isn't it? But my husband being dead, that's a whole other level of shit right there. That's like, fuck, he's going to come up and greet me any second. I've just told this guy that he's dead and I've done it because this conversation is so fucking awkward.

Here's the deal. The fact that your takeaway was that it was more awkward than her crazy. So then later she goes up to him to tell him, like, I guess she like volunteers her time at the humane society. And he had told her that our French bulldog Cha-Cha had a little bit of a stomach virus. So she goes back to Josh later and is like, Hey,

You should give Cha-Cha some pumpkin. It's really good to settle dogs' stomach. And Josh still did a follow-up at that point. He goes, are you sure your husband's okay? So Jennifer's example, that shows you the level of our conversation when she's telling me that my dog needs pumpkin for its tummy ache. This is a complete stranger.

So that shows you where the conversation is veered off to. But she did. She came up to me. And then I looked at her. And once she gave me the pumpkin advice, I said, is he still doing okay? And she goes, yes.

Yes, of course. He's in the kitchen. Was she kind of embarrassed? Yeah, she was just like brain fart. Yes, he's in there. A brain fart is I forgot to pick up milk at the grocery store. Well, that was the theme of the conversation for the rest of the weekend was like. What's wrong? Who says just who has a brain fart that someone's dead? Yeah.

And they're not dead. I think this is the way a lot of dateline murder mysteries with Keith Morrison start. And we started laughing if something happens to that guy. You're like, I have to go to the police if he dies at home under suspicious circumstances. No, I'm going to get a call from like the police department saying, hey, we heard that she made a statement to you a while back about, you know, if something ever does happen to him, then the statement's going to be highly relevant as to why she would make up the fact that he's dead. Right.

Well, and so that, but the point here is that when those conversations, when you're in them with someone that you don't know anything about, and you all just happen to be stuck next to each other, that two things should be able to occur. Number one, you should be able to pull out a white flag and just surrender the conversation. Right.

pull it out and say, I surrender. This is over with. There's nothing else I can contribute. Or you ought to be able to just withdraw and tell the person, say, hey, I'm going to withdraw from this conversation. Everything has been said that needs to be said. That's the end of it. This conversation is so terrible. I'm going to call it. That way you don't end up saying Freudian slips like,

My husband's dead. You know, Jennifer died last month. What am I saying? She didn't die. She's right over there talking to us. I don't know what's going on with me. Oh my gosh. I'm sorry.

So anyway, I felt remiss if I didn't include that I've had it, which is the awkward, long conversation. Yeah, no, that was definitely, I would have been mad if you would have forgotten that one. Anyway. You know, Pumps, I worry about you living out by yourself with all of your kids away at college and your youngest one always spend the night out with friends. And that's why I'm so excited to tell you about the latest innovation from Simply Safe Home Security. Okay.

It's called the 24-7 Live Guard Protection, and it's made possible only by SimpliSafe's new smart alarm wireless indoor camera. They monitor your house, and if somebody breaks in, the SimpliSafe people start talking to them like, you better get out of the house. Oh, my gosh. The cops are on their way. That's amazing. I think you have been.

Got to get one of these. This new camera is also the only indoor security camera that can trigger the alarm and instantly deter intruders with a built-in siren. Right now, for I've Had It podcast listeners, you get a special 20% off any SimpliSafe system when you sign up for fast protect monitoring. This huge offer is for a limited time, so visit simplisafe.com slash had it. That's simplisafe.com slash had it.

There is no safe like Simply Safe. This episode is brought to you by BetterHelp. You know, Pumps, as therapeutic as our friendship is, I have found my work with therapists the one thing that has really helped me get better, deal with vulnerabilities, deal with insecurities, deal with marital problems, etc.

Therapy really is invaluable. If you're thinking about starting therapy, you should give BetterHelp a try. What I love about this service so much is it's entirely online. It's convenient, flexible, and suited to my schedule. All I had to do was fill out a brief questionnaire, and I got matched up with a licensed therapist, and I can switch at any time for no additional charge. Discover your potential with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com slash hadittoday to get 10% off your first month.

That's betterhelp.com. There are some football feelings you can only get with BetMGM Sportsbook. That's right. Not just the highs, the ohs, or the no, no, no's. It's the feeling that comes with being taken care of every down of the football season. The feeling that comes with getting MGM rewards benefits or earning bonus bets.

So whether you're drawing up a same game parlay in your playbook or betting the over on your favorite team, the BetMGM app is the best place to bet on football. You only get that feeling at BetMGM, the sports book born in Vegas, now live across the DMV. BetMGM and GameSense remind you to play responsibly. See BetMGM.com for terms. 21 plus only, DC only, subject to eligibility requirements. Gambling problem? Call 1-800-GAMBLER.

So I don't want to come here and take advantage of the I've had it's, but I can give you another one. Oh, yeah, let's hear it. So watching all these episodes over the past few months, it's come to my attention and it needs to just be admitted and owned. Okay. And I've had it.

With pumps not coming clean and just admitting to being a lesbian. I totally agree. She got so worked up in the weather hysteria. Why? Because of softball. Women's softball. Are all softball players lesbians? No. No. But a big chunk of them are. I don't even think that's true anymore. A big chunk of the fans are. I've watched. Oh, I think it's totally true. I've watched episode after episode. And there's only one rational conclusion to reach.

Pumps is a lesbian. And as soon as we can get you on board with it, there is a huge gay community out there, lesbian community that would embrace this. I just need you to I just need you to say it. I just I would have jumped ship a long time ago if I could have. That would I mean, that's like my perfect scenario. Having like a wife.

And doing all that. I mean, like being with a girlfriend, I'm way better at picking women than men. So, I mean, believe me, no one wants me to be a lesbian more than me. Sometimes you just. What about that wet dream? I mean, we just kind of talked about that 20 years ago. I know. But for the permanent record, you've had one erotic dream in your entire life. Right. And that erotic dream was with some, I believe, basketball coach or softball coach. Is that correct? Basketball player. Basketball player. Okay. Okay.

I'm just saying female. There's a Freudian exploration into this. It's very Freudian. Right. Well, here's the deal. If I could, I would. You could. I always thought that dream, that wet dream. Was it precursor? Was fishy. No pun intended, but it was fishy. And I mean, no pun intended. That's right. But I knew it was. And I think that.

At least I've heard this phrase in recovery. Fake it till you make it. Right. I need you to just jump in there.

Just jump in. Do it. Fake it. Just fake it. See how it goes. Eventually, you're going to come out of this thing saying, you know what? This is a lot better. I think it's going to kind of be like, oh, my God. Where has this been my whole life? This was the thing. I just think with all the religious indoctrination and all the stuff, some of that still permeates. And you just think, well, I'm supposed to like men. No, I just like men. And there's nothing that says that you can't occasionally –

Have an erect penis. There's nothing that have an erect penis. He means me having sex with a man. Yeah. There's nothing that prevents her from switching teams occasionally. So it doesn't have to be 100% or nothing. But I just think that you need to tiptoe out there at your next softball game or the next time you're shopping for men's flip flops. Right.

whatever it is, you need to just go ahead and go there. Just go for it. Go there. A hundred percent. If you see, if you see an attractive lesbian at Dick's sporting goods, take advantage of that opportunity. Do something with it. Tap. Excuse me. Yeah. I think a great place you could go. Lowe's. Oh, well, yeah. A lot of, a lot of me a minute to even think what Lowe's is. It's a home improvement. Lowe's, but even better than that, go to one of Jennifer's pickleball matches. Yeah.

Right. I've met all the pickleball friends. They're all lesbians. They're lovely and fabulous. I just don't have any sexual chemistry. Well, you did in that one dream. That's all I'm saying. On Ambien. Here's the deal. I don't care. No one would want to be a lesbian on the planet more than me. I think we could all agree on that. I'd be dying to do it if I could. I'm just going to say here's an instance that Kylie and I have talked about multiple times. And Josh, I want to bring you in on this and get feedback. Okay.

We received some vibrators for free, like from this company that sent us like, here's vibrators for you. We like your podcast, right? Right. Wow. So I take a vibrator. Pumps takes a vibrator. Kylie takes a vibrator. About a week later, Pumps tells us she went to the lake with her girlfriends and that they all talked prior to going to the lake that Pumps would bring the vibrator. Because I couldn't figure out how to turn it on. Here's the deal.

So Kylie's looking at me and she's like, Pumps brought the vibrator to the girls trip and everybody agreed about it. And Pumps was the vibrator bringer. Pumps starts walking down the stairs. Kylie, who is a confirmed lesbian and proud of it and doesn't have to talk about dreams and softball. I mean, she's out. Okay. She has pride. All right. Kylie looks directly at me and she says, I just think that whole thing sounds gay. Okay.

And I just don't know where the lie is. I mean, when I go on girls trips, I don't have conversations with my friends about who's bringing the vibrator. No, it wasn't like that. I was telling one of the girls that I couldn't – I got this new vibrator because they'd heard me talking about it on the podcast. So they were asking me because we do share vibrator tips on occasion. Sounds gay. Yeah.

Hang on. Share? Like if somebody gets a great vibrator, it's like, oh my God, I found the best vibrator. Do you talk about the model? Like, yeah, order this. Really? Yeah. All of it. I'm just saying there is a shit ton of corroborating evidence. And pumps, you are surrounded by love, by open-minded people. And we, you know, we can put this case together together.

multiple times. The listeners are really into this and I'm just saying, don't close the door. That's what, that's what happens to homosexuals. They get the closet door slammed on them. Right. And you can just take your hand off the handle and let Josh, myself, Kylie, the listeners just gently start opening it. Dip your toes in a little bit. And instead of free the nip, this is going to be, let's free pumps. Yeah.

Okay, let's free her. How about free the clit? We've got to help you. Pumps is in exile and we've got to get you out. Out to reach my full lesbian capacity. Men's flip flops, softball games.

Hate shopping. Hate shopping. Pup gas for you. That's it. Right. Anyway, that's my hope. Having been an innocent observer of the podcast. You think that's what needs to come out? Each episode that comes out, I keep thinking, this is going to be the episode that Pump says, you know what? I'm gay. I like vaginas. I don't like penises. I like vaginas. And that I sit there and I wait for it and it never drops. But yet we hear all of these suggestions about

Wet dreams, women softball players frantic about the postponement of a softball game. Oh, that was just, it was hysterical. It was almost like she hadn't even participated in the episode that we had where we'd had it with meteorologist. I was just like, hold the phone. One isolated incident about the weather. Surrounding you and women.

All I'm saying. Well, let's just say when you do come out. When I do come out. You'll come out on the I've had it podcast. First place I'll be. Perfect. That's all I can ask for. First place. I've got that petty grievance off my checklist. We can move on to the next. Okay. What is the next? What have you ladies had it with? I'll tell you what I've had it with. And it seems petty.

But I've had it with this fucking Apple Watch. And I know I'm the problem. I know we've talked about Apple Watches before, but I find that...

Right before I go to bed at nine o'clock at night, if I'm like 30 calories away from my goal, if my watch tells me that, I'm fucking planking at nine o'clock at night in my bedroom for these fucking 30 calories. And then last night I got furious because I like doubled my calories, doubled my workout.

My stand circle didn't go it. I mean, like I didn't stand enough at one point during the day. Like I missed a minute of standing in one hour. So my whole fucking ring doesn't go up close. And I'm just like, I am a...

Is it like an addiction? I mean, what is it? It's those watches are bossy. It makes you feel like a loser. It makes you feel like you haven't done enough for your body, which is a good thing because I think people are too sedentary. But I like you. I find myself it's like stand right now, but I'm in a movie theater. So I'm like moving my hand. Probably somebody probably thinks I'm masturbating.

because I'm shaking my hand like this trying to get the fucking credit for it. Right. Because I'm like, I'm not going to be able to stand up for two hours. Those are two stand credits that I'm going to get denied. And it's like you're cheating.

for your watch. You know, I mean, it just brings the whole, it just makes me think like I'm going backwards in life that I can't just say, well, I was working yesterday. I couldn't stand up. It becomes more of a nuisance. It becomes more of a work to have the watch. But my problem is it's in my head. Yeah. It's just, I'm in my head with my watch. Right. So I've had it with that about the watch. My second thing about the watch is I'll just, it's happened in the podcast before. We're sitting here talking. I'm not looking at my watch. I'm not doing anything with my watch. And I'm like,

And my watch just starts talking out of nowhere. Oh, mine does that all the time too. What is that? Like I'm in the middle of a meeting. I don't know. Yes. I don't know. And you know, Apple's now about to launch these goggles. They're like $3,500. Yeah.

And I'm like, there's no fucking way I'm getting the goggles. There's no fucking way. And that's how it was about the watch at first. I was at some point two or three years. Now we're all going to be walking around with these fucking goofy goggles. What's the purpose of the goggles? I don't know. It's like you can literally like you see the people and you can see everything. They're like just touching air and moving stuff around. And it's like a watch, but you see through it.

Yeah, it's coming. It's coming for us. No, I know. But that, I don't know. That's too much. I mean, the watch. Yeah. So my, I've had it is with myself that I can't be the adult in the room when it comes to me and my watch. It's hard. Like the watch owns the person. Yeah. Yeah. So that's mine. Okay, Josh. Now we're going to hear from a voice memo from one of our listeners, Aaron. Perfect.

I have absolutely had it with the term "it must be nice." I get that a lot from people that have children. My wife and I have two dogs, a Bouvier and a Westie, and a cat, a British Shorthair. Those are our children. So when we go out and do things or we buy nice vehicles or we go on nice vacations, "Oh it must be nice." You know what Susan? It is fucking nice. It is nice to go and do whatever we want when we want to do it. It is not my fault

that your husband doesn't know how to pull out. So that's why you have seven children now. So don't come at me when I want to buy some nice clothes or go on a nice vacation. Don't fucking tell me. Most be nice. I have had it. My favorite part about that whole thing.

is how he gives the description of each animal yes he's got a westie he's got a cat it's a british short hair well you can just hear the you can hear the tone in which the person says it must be nice like how many times have you heard that in your life it must be nice and you're just thinking when they when that comes out of their mouth you're like fuck you fuck you yeah when they say it must be nice it's almost like you want to go bless your heart if you didn't have all those rugrats you

you could have nice things too. Yeah, exactly. But I do think that single people are not single people, but childless couples or single people without children, everybody assumes it's just,

Oh my God, their life must be so much better. Well, guess what? You used to have that life. You chose not to have that life by having kids. That's right. But now you can't be jealous of somebody that has chosen not to and has a fabulous life going on trips with nice stuff. And starts it out by saying it must be nice. It must be nice. Yeah, that's a like go fuck yourself. Instant punch in the face when you say that. Well, I also think that there's this whole narrative that we need to do away with. And it is that...

putting pressure on young couples. When are you getting married? When are you having kids? When are you getting married? When are you having kids? Like half of all marriages end in divorce, maybe more. And then there's always this pressure on young couples like these people. They like their cats. They like their dogs, like buying new cars. When are you having a kid? When are you having a kid? Especially where we live in the Bible belt. It's all of this, you know,

what they would call traditional values. And it's like, if a woman doesn't want to have a kid or a couple wants to be childless, let's normalize that. You know, like if they don't want to take a crack at it because they've been able to use their deduction skills and see that it's pretty fucking rough. Good for them. Right now. I have a lot of admiration for the younger, like millennial Gen Zers that are like, I don't know that I have to get married. I'm not sure I want to be a mother because I feel like our generation was, you know,

You had to be married. You had to be a mother. And so I just have a lot of admiration because I do know women that say, you know, I'm just not maternal. I've never wanted a baby. Right. That's just not for me. And, you know, I enjoy my career. I enjoy traveling. And I think you're a fucking boss bitch. Totally. Because you're not going with the flow and the stereotypes.

And she probably does come under scrutiny for that. But no, when somebody says, we met someone pretty recently that was like, you know, I'm just not maternal. Just never has been my thing. And I thought, you fucking kill it. Rock out. And there's this narrative that people want to diminish that. And I don't think that one is greater than the other. I think that if somebody wants to have kids, great. But I'll tell you what.

I know a lot of women that are older than us that are empty nesters and their whole identity is either being a mom or being some successful man's wife.

So then when the kids are gone, they have no personal identity for themselves. Right. And they're over there sucking on Xanaxes and boozing up the whole time because they have no purpose. And so I think that there is this either or option that women and men get about adulthood is bullshit. And I think delaying having a family, delaying getting married is

or not opting into that at all is perfectly normal and admirable. Absolutely. And there's no one better than the other. I completely agree. It's just whatever's better for you.

You know, Pumps, now that we're in the throes of summer, I think we could all use a little wardrobe update. And I'm so happy that I've discovered Jenny Kane. It embodies the California dream for fashion. Have you seen their site? Yes, I love it. Even though I don't like to shop, I love my pieces from Jenny Kane. No matter the season, their dresses are the it item and will get you compliments. I have this

amazing cashmere cardigan from Jenny Kane. And even though we're in the throes of summer, I'm always freezing when I go inside a movie theater or a restaurant or a shopping mall. And I just throw in my little Jenny Kane cashmere and I look adorable and I'm warm and I can wear it all four seasons.

To find your forever pieces at JennyCain.com, our listeners get 15% off your first order when you use code HADIT at checkout. That's 15% off your first order, J-E-N-N-I-K-A-Y-N-E.com, promo code HADIT. Pumps, there's absolutely no denying what believers we are in Just Thrive products. Absolutely none. The gut health is so much better since we've been taking their probiotics.

Our dogs take their probiotics because this company not only cares about your and my gut, but the guts of our animals. But what I love so much about Just Thrive are their Just Calm products, which are also all natural psychobiotics. And there is no question on the planet that we have a psycholine. Yes. Yes.

We are definitely the target audience. What I love about Just Calm is it supports mood, maintains cortisol levels, helps with stress and sleep and overall calmness. Listener, right now you can save 20% off a 90-day bottle of Just Thrive probiotic or Just Calm at justthrivehealth.com with promo code HATIT. That's like getting a month free all with a bottom of the bottle guarantee.

You know, Pumps, virtually every doctor will tell you that if you want to get healthy, you've got to quit the sugary drinks. Yes, I'm aware because you tell me that all the time. Because I want you to be healthy because I love you. But thankfully, we've discovered hemp water and we cannot get enough of it because water is so tasteless and boring, but not hemp water. They've got watermelon. They've got blueberry. And it's just this tiny little hint with no calories whatsoever.

whatsoever. I'm drinking a ton less tea since I've discovered Hint Water. Hint is great for everyone in the family, kids, teens, men, women, healthy people, people trying to get healthy, new moms, pregnant women, women trying to get pregnant and short. Hint Water is good for humans. You can find Hint Water at retail stores like Walmart, Target, Kroger, or have it delivered direct to your front door from HintWater.com.

New customers can get Hint for just a dollar a bottle with free shipping when they order three cases. That's 36 bottles for $36 and free shipping. Just use the code HADIT at checkout. So now we're going to hear from Brandy. I have fucking had it with Angie Pumps Sullivan Hint.

Will she want she holding our breath, trying to figure out what she's going to do? Is she going to dip her little toe, her baby toe, her big toe, any of it into the late in life lesbian club? Perfect. We just need to know, Pumps. Just do it or don't. Quit giving us all blue beans, which is the lesbian blue ball, and just do it.

Just do it. I couldn't agree with Brandy more. Boy, this was the perfect timing based on what we just talked about. I don't think that's by coincidence either. I think there's a lot of Brandys out there that are asking the very same question that we're trying to address, that we're trying to help with. Okay, I promise 100% if I dip my toe in, I will absolutely not be a secret about it. You have to report immediately. I would report immediately. It's an emergency episode. But I also need to say I have no...

have no intention of doing that. Well, you might not, but your subconscious does. Right. So, but I will not keep it a secret. I will not drag it out. We'll have an emergency podcast. Well, and you've, you've, you know, been with a guy before where you didn't really enjoy the experience. Just try it with a woman. Just fake it. Like you've done the same thing. You've done the same thing with a man before. So Brandy is all of us.

There's no mistake about that. She is all of us. I love that. Brandy, you'll be the first to know after Josh. Okay, next, Josh and Pumps, we're going to hear from Kristen. Hey, Jen, a.k.a. Jessica and Pumps. How are you guys doing? I love your show. I watch it every week. Listen to it. It's fantastic. Let me tell you what I've had it with today and pretty much every day.

adults, especially who call their dads daddy and who kiss their parents on the lips. It makes me physically ill. My girlfriend is an offender of this. She calls her dad daddy. She has her dad's name as daddy in her phone. I make fun of her daily on the regular. It literally just makes me ill. Let me, let me know what you guys think about it.

Kristen, you are 1000% correct about this. Growing up in the South,

I called my dad, daddy growing up. It's a very Southern thing. And it wasn't until I hit my twenties or so. I was like, this feels odd. Like I'm a woman now and I shouldn't be calling my dad, daddy. And I switched and now I call him dad because that is just the way it evolves. But I would argue, Kristen, a lot of these girls that are still calling their dads, daddy, daddy,

who potentially could have some daddy issues. And so I hope everything's okay with you and your girlfriend, Kristen, because I think it's a little red flag city. Well, I just am going to go on record that I am an offender. I call my dad daddy still. Your stepdad? Yeah. And my real dad. I call them both daddy. You call your stepdad daddy? Yeah. Oh, he's been my stepdad since I was five. Still daddy. Daddy. Daddy.

Not big daddy, oh baby, but just daddy. Wow. Yeah. And I call my mom her first name. Well, the daddy thing, it's a little cringeworthy. It's very cringey to me when I see...

women, grown women calling their dads daddy. It's like, it's almost like subservient. Like it's creepy. You're your daddy. Yeah. I just always have. I also have to say that my mom is a big kisser on the lips or, and my kids just will have no part of it. So we've kind of gone away from that, but that's how they, that's how I would say probably up until my twenties or stuff. Okay. Let's hear from our last caller named Tash.

But I've had it with friends who you've known for so long, like 15 years. They get new friends and they start bullshitting about what kind of person they are. Like, oh, my God.

I have this friend who has these new friends and she posted a glass of red wine on her Instagram story because she had a games night with her fucking friends. And I know that's fucking bullshit because this unseasoned piece of fucking chicken does not drink red wine. I have seen her gag at drinking a glass of fucking Pepsi Max or some shit. Shit.

She does not drink red wine. She's only trying to impress these new friends she's got. I have known this cunt since she was 12 years old. She doesn't drink red wine. She's full of shit. She just wants to impress these fucking idiots. I have had it with her and I'm fucking going to cut off the cunt because she's so fucking annoying. So if we say that's New Zealand? Australian. Australian. Wouldn't you? Love, yeah. Love the accent. And

I mean, just over and over. She uses it beautifully. Yes. I mean, she uses it beautifully. Here's another word that we don't use that they use in the UK and possibly Australia, New Zealand. Wanker. Yeah, that's a good one too. It's a great one. But let's get back to what she's talking about, which is the reinvention of yourself when you meet new friends. New friend group. You can be anybody you want to be. Yep. It's like you've got a...

full blown chance of bullshitting a new audience and you take full advantage of it. It would be like, you know, it'd be like Jennifer kind of coming up and I'm talking to some dude and I'm sharing with him how I enjoy reading philosophy. Right. Right. And in my spare time, like, you know, and Jennifer's just going, that is so much fun.

painful bullshit. Right. No, yes. I think that's probably a huge problem. When you think I would think so. And, you know, she's been in the trenches with this brand, like, you know, thick or thin, I'm sure seen horrible times. Now she's having to see the whole wine glass thing.

Bullshit. Right. Now she's class, not ass. Yeah. Right. And she's probably been in the war zone with this friend before, you know, taking bullets. Held her hair while she's puking or gets that kind of thing. Exactly. Divorces, you know, cheating, whatever, you know, she's been there for it. And then, you know, for her to see the wine glass salute, um,

With a new group of friends. I mean, I'm pissed off too. I think it's total bullshit. Right. And the facade always cracks. I mean, you are who you are no matter what. Yeah, it totally cracks. But I bring a unique perspective on this because normally I'm the bullshitter. Right. Normally I'm reinventing myself to someone. So I know what it's like and I support her. I support her 100%.

Like your longest friend, your longest serving friend knows you the best. So like, and when Jennifer, like I, it makes me furious, but Jennifer knows what I'm going to do before I know what I'm going to do. So for then for me to come off and be like, oh my gosh, you know, I'm just, I love all the designer brands. I shop exclusively at Dolores.

Dolce Gabbana and, you know, I mean, she would just be like, fucking what is wrong with you? Yeah. But if you're going to be full of shit like that, at least own it. Like I do that with Jennifer. Like I try to act concerned about OU sports. Right. In front of other people. But then I'll go to Jennifer and go, you know, I don't really give a fuck about OU sports. I love the conversation. I really love it when they lose. So I have to, I own it. Like I don't really care.

And so if you're going to do that, if your friend's going to do that with a wine glass and all that stuff, she needs to side text you and say, I realize I'm bullshit, but I'm going to go for it anyway. Right. No, I agree with that. That's my take on it. Like you're going to see on Instagram that I'm shopping at Gucci.

And you're going to know that I'm imposter syndrome. I mean, don't you just try to like, I mean, our biggest message is just own your shit. Just own your shit. Like if you're going through a stage of reinvention, you know, like Madonna did that. Remember when she married that British guy and she moved to the UK and she started trying to trot out a UK accent. If you're going through a phase like that at midlife or whatever, and you want to try to reinvent yourself and maybe be a better version of yourself to try it on.

that's fine. But I totally relate to the voice memo lady because when you know somebody so well, it would be like me, you know, full blown, uh,

At the softball game. Right. Calling the softball players by their first names. You know, with face paint on, going bananas. It's just never going to happen. Right. It's just not you. That's a good example. Or Pumps acting like she's straight. Is a good example of just, we know it's bullshit. Like we've been in the trenches. We've been in the trenches. We've been in the trenches.

When your panties have gotten wet over women's softball dreams. We know those things. 2015, 16. So, you know, again, all roads lead back to pumps being a lesbian. Is she or isn't she? She is. And there's no to be continued about this bullshit either. It's not to be continued. She's a lesbian.

You can call me a lesbian. I don't care. It's a badge of honor. I would be thrilled. Believe me. I would have done it a long time ago. Okay. Well, I would have tried to steal your wife if I would have been a lesbian. That's right. So probably worked out better for you. I will, whether it's next Tuesday or next Thursday, I will remain in front of my television watching the YouTube channel to see is this the episode where Pumps comes out and says...

I am a lesbian. All right, listener. Thank you so much for joining us. Thanks to Josh for coming. Thank you. Please give us a five-star review on all the platforms. Follow us on Twitter, Instagram, TikTok. Follow us on all social media and please send a voice memo to Instagram and we will see you next Tuesday. Thank you. Thank you. I'll tell you what I've had up with.

Hey, y'all. It's Savannah Chrisley, and I've got a new podcast titled Unlocked. We're creating a space for people to truly be vulnerable. You're used to seeing me having to have this picture-perfect bow on the life that I live, and frankly, that's not who I am. I'm a little wild, I'm a little crazy, and I love really, really hard. I really hope that you'll join me every Tuesday as I bring on friends, family, and

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