Today's top story, the flavor merger of the century between the peanut butter group and Chocolaty Corp. Joining me is a PBC executive. Thanks for having me, Barry. Now, how did you know the merger and the byproduct of it, Jif peanut butter and chocolate flavored spread, would be a success? You know, it was a gut feeling, a rumbling, if you will. Besides, they're two titans of taste. Very true. Goes great with pretzels. And pancakes. Apples too, I bet. Try Jif PBC today.
As school germs return, rest easy. Clorox has got your back to school. Ugh, your back? It is I, your kid's germy desk, and I've got things to say. I've been sneezed on, used as a tissue, there's chewed up gum under my- Calm down. I'll get my Clorox disinfecting wipes. Oh, and can you please get these sweaty gym clothes off of me? Ugh.
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You know that trend about shopping only local produce? I didn't get it until I tried California avocados. They're picked at the peak of each season, so you know they're fresh. But they're not just fresh. They're fresh, ripe, and delicious. And I think it's because they're grown right here in California. That means grove to table. Literally. That's why the best avocados have California in them. California avocados. Now in season.
As if the McCrispy couldn't get any better, Bacon and Ranch just entered the chat. The Bacon Ranch McCrispy. Available at participating McDonald's for a limited time. Okay, ready? One, two, three. That's good. Hi, Jenny. How are you? I'm good. How are you? Good. What have you had it with? I have had it with the continued idiocy.
people that see the sign on the front door of my office and continue to walk in to suite two, looking for other suites. I'm really anxious to greet one of the people at the door and say, step outside here. I want to ask you a question. Did you read the sign and tell me what, what was the thought process in deciding to read it?
And despite reading it to march right on in, I need to know, help me understand what I can put on this door to have prevented you to walk in. How about we don't give directions. We don't give advice. Come in at your appointment. And if you don't have one of those two, we will call the police. What if you put, come through this door and I will blow your head off.
I mean, it is Oklahoma. It could happen. Yeah. I mean, Javi could be packing heat behind that desk and just pick people off. Oh, I mean, that's, I don't want to go that hard. I appreciate, I like the intensity. Right. Because sometimes I feel homicidal, but I don't know when you say that out loud, I think I realize how insane I am. Right. But nonetheless, I'm going to work on it. What have you had it with this week?
Okay, what I've had it with, you know, I'm a new Instagram person. What I've had it with is all these advertisements that are on your feed. So like I bought into it right off the bat. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Emily was like, you're a rookie. I can't believe you did that.
But so I get excited about these bras because what I hate about leisure bras is the pads come out. Right. And when you wash them, you have to put the pads back in. It's just a hassle. Right. So this bra, I mean, it just looked like this will be heaven on earth. This is what you've been waiting for your whole life. Right. So I order it and I'm spoiled because we live in a town where Amazon lives. Right. So we get stuff same day sometimes. Right. This fucker, it was like four weeks. Right.
On this bra. Before it came. Before it came. Instagram. It's a big racket. It came from like 55 countries away for this bra. Okay. So I'm excited about the bra, even though it took me a year to get it. Okay. I'm still fired up about it. Well, so I wash it. That fucker, not only did the pads come out, one pad went into the other side of the bra. So now both pads are in one side of the bra. Okay.
And I couldn't get it out and I had to throw it away after one wash. How was it the fit prior to the wash? You know, it wasn't bad. It wasn't bad. I probably should have gotten an extra large instead of just a large. But I didn't put that on the Instagram advertisement. I just put that on Instagram.
Your boobs are bigger than you want to admit to yourself. Right. So that wasn't so bad. But I just Emily made fun of me. Now you're making fun of me. Like you cannot buy shit off Instagram. You cannot. I fell for it a few times. I bought some pajamas that look so cute on the model. I was like, these are going to be great. They come in. They're awful. Horrible. Sandpaper. Sandpaper.
Not soft at all. Sandpaper. The fabric was wretched. Complete, total scam racket. Yeah, it was total a scam. And I think I pay like...
for a leisure bra at like a Walmart or Target or Amazon or something. Right. And this was like $35, which I was happy to pay. Right. If I thought I didn't have to put the pads back in after the washing machine. Right. But one pad migrated. Right. It was horrible. It was worse than any of the other bras. It was a migrating. Migrating. So you had like double protection on one sag and drag and then the other one was just free-balling. Bare nipple. Bare nipple. Like your ass on a toilet. Like my ass on a toilet.
Welcome to I've Had It podcast. I'm Jennifer. I'm Angie. Jen and Neely are with us. Richard is here. And it is time, listener, it is time to drag out a dead horse and beat the shit out of it. And listener, I want you to understand that for 20 years, Pumps and I never tire of talking about certain things. And we call it a dead horse session. Right.
And right now we are about to have our very first dead horse session on I've Had It podcast. And the dead horse that we're dragging out today, that horse's name is Burning Man. Since we recorded our Burning Man episode, Neely and Jen went to Burning Man, as you and I know. What the audience doesn't know is this fantastic horse.
I mean, amazing podcast would have started about maybe six to eight weeks earlier than it did. But these two producers, when you get back, apparently it's like 120 day cleaning process to get the dust not only out of every orifice of your body, your bags, your clothes, your
All the shit they schlepped to Burning Man. Like their U-Haul full of shit. I remember when we called them. We gave them like four or five days after Burning Man because we're like, they're outside. There's no plumbing. They're probably tired, you know, obviously. We get them on FaceTime and we both hung up and we were like, they look like they have been dragged behind a car. They looked awful. For a year. I mean, honest to God, we thought you were dying. We immediately talked. I mean, we were just like, they looked terrible.
horrible. We had a follow-up phone call. She called me. She could, can you believe how bad they look? But I'm telling you, you could have gone down the road behind an 18 wheeler for three days and looked better. You could have been the poster child for PTSD. Yes. I'm serious. It could have been, it could have been Google Siri. Show me what PTSD looks like.
And you two on the FaceTime screen could have popped up. And then, like, I mean, then I think we talked to him a few days after that. And it was like, God, they're still got that Burning Man. And they still had that shit packed up. And they're like going box to box cleaning shit. I would have to assume that you found sand.
in places that were never meant to have sand in them. We still have sand in a lot of places. See? Ladies, how was Burning Man? How was it on a scale of 0 to 10? How was your Burning Man experience? I'm going to give it a 9. Okay. Because the weather was terrible. I mean, it was really hot. And we had dust storms. Amazing. You sure you weren't like in Afghanistan or something? It was basically... But I will say the rest of it...
It was amazing. It's some of the most like creative people I've ever seen. The nights are the best. You just ride your bikes around and like look at all the different art installations and the art cars and like you would be so hot and then you would see this big like car, art car come by and they would be making like fresh juice just to pass out to people for free or like one time it was a margarita.
I don't know if y'all have ever been to Mexico, but you can be on the beach and then the waiters come by and they just pass out stuff. Right. There's no dust storm. So like we stayed up one night to watch this DJ that we both love. And it was the sunrise set and we were getting hungry.
And this guy passed by and he had fresh pancakes and he was just passing it all around. And we were like, this is a godsend. Playa provides. Okay, so you won't sit on a toilet seat. You have her, but she'll eat a pancake from a total stranger with a desk bowl? Yeah. Yes. I need to know, did you shit or piss in the bucket? Neither of us pooped in the bucket. Neither of us. We did pee in it in the middle of the night. One morning I wake up. I smoked her out.
To a horrible, horrible smell. I was dehydrated. Dehydrated. I had to jump out of the tent because it was disgusting. If this isn't alarming enough. I think we have to bring our good friend Bob the Builder back. We have another story.
of theirs that was in their camp and his name is Omid. And so I actually got to FaceTime with Omid while they were on their way back from Burning Man. And I heard probably one of the more alarming stories that I've ever heard in my entire life. Worse than the pee? I've kept it under lock and key because I want to sit back and watch your reaction live and
as he tells you what he told me. So without further ado, I'm kind of scared. Let's get their playmates, the Burning Man playmates in. Let's go. T-Bob it up. Pumps. Pumps, are you excited to see Bobby? Are you excited to see Bobby? I mean, I can't wait. He's precious. He is precious. Isn't he? But I don't say you're trying to hit on him. It doesn't matter. Who cares? So, hey. How are you? Oh, my gosh. Omid. I'm Jennifer. Hi, Pumps.
It's so good to see you guys. Okay, so I have to say, Bob, after we did that episode with you, we just full-blown changed your name to Bob. Bob the Builder. So if we start calling you Bob, it's just you are Bob in our world. That's fine. And I apologize, but that's just who you are. But we've got to get right to the nut cutting here, okay? I know that since we did our Burning Man episode, you guys have gone.
I've heard some rather alarming stories, but Omid, you may remember that I FaceTimed with you when you were in the Jeep with Jen and Neely on your way back. And you told me a story that was...
incredibly eyebrow raising to say the least. And I'm going to sit here with my eyes fixated on pumps. And I want you to tell her about the tattoo parlor at the Burning Man. All right. So this was me getting a temporary tattoo at Burning Man. It's at a gay camp called Celestial Bodies, which is our favorite place to hang out at Burning Man. They have the best cocktails there.
But on Tuesdays, they give temporary tattoos. So there's a very sexy man with a big beard that's seated. And you stand in front of him and you tell him where you want your tattoo. And I picked my butt. It's really fun. But he first starts with prepping the area by exfoliating it with his beard. So he rubs his beard all over your butt.
And then he puts the temporary tattoo on, but while he's applying the pressure so that you don't tip over, he cups you, your junk, and he holds on to you while the temporary tattoo is going on. And then afterwards, to seal the tattoo, he takes the puff of his vape pen and then blows it very gently all over your butt area just to kind of seal it all in. I think that that might be assault. Okay, what's the deal with his, he grabs your junk?
So that you don't tip over because he has to apply pressure to the tattoo. And you might tip over unless he was cupping your junk the whole time simultaneously. Could you bend over a chair? You could. It's not as fun. Bob, did you get any sort of tattoos or ass crack beard exfoliation when you were at the Burning Man? I did not this year. No, but I have in previous years. Have you given any exfoliation with the beard at Burning Man?
Hmm. I know, but I do do a lot of beard rubs with other good bearded guys. We like to get together and just nestle in. What's a beard rub?
That's right. Just you guys. It's like an Eskimo kiss where you're touching noses. It's like that one with the beard and you're just rubbing your beard together. Every good bearded man loves another good bearded man. It doesn't matter your sexual preference. We just love it. Omid's got a beautiful beard. I always touch his beard every time I see him. Yeah, he does have a good looking beard. Omid, you do. Thank you. I like the specs. Those are nice looking specs. Josh Welch would really like him. That haircut's nice. You have some natural curl, right?
Yeah, lots of it. Yeah. Her husband. I have questions. Okay. Oh, ask. Go fire away. Wait, your husband would like a curly-headed guy?
Yes, he's incredibly vain. He wouldn't like you sexually. He would appreciate your aesthetic and your sense of style. And he'd think you were attractive. He would say, I don't mean it's a good looking guy. I liked his specs. I liked his hair. I liked his beard. I mean, he is comfortable enough in his sexuality to tell you that he likes your look.
You should bring him to Burning Man. I would rather paint the interior walls of my entire office building with a Q-tip, base coat,
First coat, top coat, then a sealer, then go to Burning Man. But listen, I'm all swing for the fences. If y'all like it, I want to know every nutty detail. I want to get to the deep, dark bottom and jack this shit into my veins. What other crazy shit did you do? Okay, I had a question that I didn't ask last time, Bobbitt. So in the orgy tent...
Do you consent? Like, do you fill out, like, before you go in, are you like, hey, I'm all the way. I'm going all the way. I'm doing three ways, butt play, all of it? Or is it like consent is just a little bit at a time? Consent with who? Like the other orgy members. Yeah.
Like, it's like a little bit of time. It's not like what middle schooler did with those colored bands on the wrist. You know? Okay. It's in the moment. Someone asks you say yes or no. There's an orgy dome. And then there is a fuck up an orgy dome dome. It's called the orgy down there. Why? Wildly popular. Yeah, of course. I could imagine. Yeah.
I actually went into the orgy dome out of curiosity. Every detail. Go on. You're just looking at the pictures in Playboy, too. So, Playboy. Playgirl. Playgirl. Okay. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, I was with two female friends, and you have to be either a couple or a morsum to get into the orgy dome. Stop. What's a morsum? Stop. Is a morsum like a throuple? A morsum.
A moresome is more than a couple. So yeah, a throuple or maybe you're in a polyamorous relationship with four people, but you have to be more than a single person. Right. Specifically, I think that they're trying to make sure that single guys don't wander in there and just like lurk.
I think the only rule in there is consent. So you can't like, you know, obviously. And then the other thing and the thing that we got kicked out of there for was they don't really like lurkers. They don't really like observers. We were just a little stunned and just sitting on the couch. And I was with two friends. Who's the oversight in this? Who kicked you out? Who's the who's the dome sheriff? The orgy dome is an actual Burning Man camp. And here's the kicker. My accountant.
belongs to that camp shut the fuck up yeah oh that's so good did you know he was part of that camp or did you see him i didn't know then okay so bob tell us about what you built
This year, Son and I helped build the kitchen. We built a sink that had somewhat of a success, and a shower that also had somewhat of a success, growing pains. And then the rest of it was building camp structures and stuff with the rest of the team. We all pitched in for that stuff. Bob, did you enjoy the dust storm?
I loved it. It was like one of my favorite moments was like 24 hours of pure wind and dust because it was great. The entire camp came together to secure itself, hold things. And then my wife's son is running around with like a gigantic handle of a fireball, making everybody take shots. So you're just getting drunk, laughing with all your friends. It was the best time possible. We did see a picture of you, Bob.
Which one? Well, you were. I was passed out on the ground like that? Yes, face down eating dirt. You looked destroyed. Right. I mean, you looked absolutely annihilated. For my birthday this year, which is like a month after the burn, my wife had that framed and is now hanging in our kitchen. I love it. I love it.
I love it. Yes. Were you exhausted when you got back? It still took another two months for me to start feeling really normal at work again. Okay. I just constantly wanted to call and quit. That's what I want to tap into right there because Jen and Neely, we FaceTime them and it is like fucking zombie apocalypse. Right. They were the poster child of PTSD. It was so alarming that after the FaceTime, Pumps immediately called me and she said, God, can you believe how terrible they look?
We're just finding out about that. That's the first thing they like it. No, I mean, it's like they ate. You've seen those age progressions, like the meth ads. Exactly. It's exactly what it was, like 10 years of meth in one week. Let me ask you this. Are you going next year? Bob, you go first. No. Oh, plot twist. I don't think we can. Plot twist, because my wife is now pregnant. Oh, yay! Congratulations.
Come on, Bob. Bring the baby. Honestly, it's going to be my greatest success is being a dad. I already know it. I'm ready to buy those classic white New Balances and crappy t-shirts. I'm so ready. I've got jokes lined up. I've had it podcast onesie that we're going to send your baby. Yes, it says not invited to the pool party. Laughter
For me, like, I don't end up looking like a zombie four days after. I'm actually the freshest and the happiest that you're going to get me all year long. And you get like a month and a half of it where I'm just like glowing and excited about life again. And then when work fully sucks me back in, you just see, well, that's when I turn into a depressed zombie. For me, it's like...
That's where I open up and I finally allow myself to be who I fully am. And like, I have zero fears about who I am and controlling myself because I have to act and be a certain way in society. I can just be myself. And everyone I'm there with, Jen, Millie, Omi, all of our camp, they make sure that
I am that person when I leave. They're there. They're my community. This year was huge for me. I actually didn't even see a lot of the city or a lot of the art because I was always at camp with all of my friends. That's all I cared about was being back with my community. And it made me feel whole again. And it made me feel excited to just get back into life and to do things. I hadn't had it in three years and I needed it. I needed it every year. I couldn't turn it up over that.
That's really sweet. I mean, that's kind of touching, Bob. It really is. Oh, me? What do you love? Well, he likes the orgy to it. So as I've been eight years now, I always say it restores my faith in humanity. I see people at their best.
You know, I think that you guys, specifically, I think Jennifer would really enjoy Burning Man. My point being that when you interact with someone, you're probably not going to be your most unguarded sort of self. Every year, it takes me 48 hours for my shoulders to come down at Burning Man. So I thought that it was only going to be the first year when it happened, but it happens every year. And I think it's because
You have to have some sort of a shield on in the outside world because it's just not safe. People just have all kinds of intentions and you don't want to be a naive person just sort of whistling your way through dodgy parts of the world. But at Burning Man, it really feels...
so kind and so safe. Right. And everyone's lovely. I always say it's the best place to have an emergency because people will help you, but also like literally go completely out of their way to get you whatever you need. Not that you should rely on them, but
You know, if you needed them, they would be there. It's the best kind of person that goes there. It is a lot of work. Prepping, cleaning up afterwards. You come back completely depleted. I don't know. This year was really, really hard for a whole host of reasons. If I was betting right now, I would say probably go back. But I don't know. Ellie and Jen, are you going to go? Yes. You are going to go next year? We hope to. Hello! Hello!
Congratulations. Congratulations on your baby. Sana had to check out the competition. I'm very impressed with your husband and all his industriousness. I mean, it's shocking how somebody can do that. At what age will you take the child to Burning Man? I think six or seven.
Six or seven would be a good age. I wouldn't take him any earlier. You see little babies out there sometimes. Yeah. And it's just terrible, their little lungs. Right. It's a giant playground, so it is an amazing, amazing place for a kid. I don't even want to take a baby to Target, so I damn sure wouldn't want to take a baby to camp for eight days. Let's do a lightning round. Did you guys cuddle puddle this year, yes or no? Sana, you go first.
No, I did not cuddle puddle. I'm not a big fan of cuddle puddles. I agree. I support it. Bob? Yes. Had it. I've had it with Bob. I heard your last episode about, Bob, were you talking about Pink Heart, the biggest cuddle puddle on the play? I actually climbed into that room. What do you mean climbed? There's not a door? What's going on with the climbing? Yeah.
So Bobbitt looked at the room and was like, nope, and turned around. I was like, yes. And I took my shoes off and went in. And you have to... It's just like a mess of pillows and teddy bears and people. And you can't just walk in. You have to crawl in. And you can't... You have to be...
You have to be mindful of your elbows and your knees because it's like people underneath you. So it's interesting to just climb your way through. And it smells like a thousand parts in there. That's what I was going to ask. Like, how bad does it smell? It doesn't smell great. There's real grit at Burning Man. And I would say the smell in the Pink Heart Cuddle Puddle room is one of them. What about B.O.?
It's no B.O. No B.O. I mean, I smell more B.O. at the local gay bar in Silver Lake than I have at my bar. True. Yeah. That is true. Jen, did you go to a cuddle puddle? No, I did not. Good for you. Nellie? We didn't go to a cuddle puddle. Okay, good. All right. Okay, did you shit in a bucket?
You guys went down a really dark rabbit hole on the whole shitting in the bucket. I can't imagine anyone shitting in their tent in a bucket. Yeah, no. Well, you know what we just found out a couple of weeks ago? Pumps, when she's at a public toilet, most women hover. You know, you squat and hover and kind of get a good little – she barebacks it.
public toilet she just goes right in and sits down on a bareback so you sit i would never bear back a toilet seat ever ever i would never bear back a public toilet seat ever i had to get over the burning man porta potties the first time i went because i had a legitimate fear but the same playa dust that sort of settles bo kind of calms down
The situation in the porta potty. So it isn't as horrible as you would imagine. I will bear back a public toilet, but I will not go in a porta potty. I will stand next to it and shit on the ground before I will. I cannot. Those are gross. Yeah, they're disgusting. They're horrible. They horrible. I have peed behind like at football games back in the day.
They'd have porta-potties set up and people would be in line. I'd just go right behind it and be. Are you jealous that Bob is having a baby? No, I'm thrilled. They're going to be great parents. Think of all the shit he's getting. Think about his tree house. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. Oh my gosh. It will be like next level tree house. Yeah. Bob here is going to build a tree house for him. I love that. Well, congratulations again. That's amazing.
All right. Anything else dicey that went down? I don't know. I want the good shit. Anything else go down in Burning Man that we need to air out? Jennifer, I feel like I need to tell you some things that might entice you to maybe one day consider going to Burning Man. Like imagine it's morning and you're riding your bike, an electric bike, so you don't have to work really hard. I like that exercise. And all of a sudden –
Oh, great. Plot twist. But imagine there's a sign that says breakfast martinis and you just stop and you go in and all of a sudden it's like a craft cocktail, shaken, served in like a chilled glass. And all of a sudden you're having the perfect martini.
Where five, like two minutes ago, you didn't even know you were going to have the perfect breakfast cocktail. Let me tell you the flaw in that story. I don't drink alcohol because my husband's a recovering drug addict and alcoholic that's been to rehab five times. And so after the fifth rehab stint, I thought, well, fuck it. I'll just quit drinking too. So I'm already out on the Burning Man martini bar that crashed and burned. What else you got for me? Hot.
Okay, so you're riding your bike. Riding my bike. Okay, let's go back to the bike. Riding my bike. I'm getting great cardio. All of a sudden, you smell hot chocolate chip cookies. I love chocolate chip cookies. I'm in. I'm in. And you realize that there's a person with a tray of hot cookies, and all you have to do to get one is to get paddled on your behind. What? With like a leather...
Oh, yeah. Like S&M? Yeah. Yeah. For a cookie? Oh, yeah. It's going to have to be a lot more than a cookie. So you have to get spanked to get the cookie? Have you guys not ever stayed in a fucking five-star hotel? You literally just pick up the phone and say, could you please bring some chocolate chip cookies to room 402? And they say, it's my pleasure. And then a dominatrix. And then they bring them. You don't have to get spanked. You don't have to ride a bike. It just happens.
But you can get a dominatrix at a five-star hotel, too. I don't know if I was going to spank you for a grilled cheese sandwich. It was nice. It was worth it. Y'all are getting spanked to get food. This is what's another thing that's going on at Burning Man is you have to get a whooping. This whole podcast is based on you guys, you know, loving, playful interactions with other human beings and each other. That's all Burning Man is. It's like, it's...
It's eight days of just ridiculous, playful interactions. And sometimes it's just really dumb. You get spanked and you get a chocolate chip cookie. How long did it take you to get out? Yeah, that's a great question. Six hours. Oh.
I mean, that's just torture. I mean, you're going to deliver a baby in less time than it took you to get out of Burning Man. Is that a promise? I don't want to even do something that feels good for six hours. Right. Six hours is too long. We had fun though. We had fun in the exit. I can't decide if this whole Burning Man thing is like
shared psychosis or if I am just a horrible candidate for it? I think we're horrible candidates because I kind of teared up when Bob was talking about why he liked it. Like the community aspect of it. I didn't really feel that much. I feel it.
I'm just going to be honest. I think it's sweet that that's your reality, but it didn't move the meter. No, it doesn't make me want to go. I found that people that resisted the most are the ones that needed the most. That's probably 100% true. There's no question that I am stage five fucked up, cynical, negative. It could probably open me up and I could be a kinder, gentler person. The problem is I would have to have a lot of interactions with human beings.
And I don't really like human beings. But maybe you would after you went to Burning Man. I like humanity, but like if there was a dog Burning Man where we could go hang out with dogs, I'm in. You don't have to interact with people if you don't want to. You could be like, I don't want to and just do you.
But I feel like you would open up like a beautiful little... There's just still so many fundamental things that Burning Man is lacking for me to be a good candidate. And I just think about all the sand in your machine. I'm open to going like a rehab for a while and working on Little Jennifer and writing letters to Little Jennifer in my non-dominant hand and getting in touch with my inner child. I'm open to
all that shit. I'd cuddle a teddy bear. I'd do all this shit in Malibu where normal people go to get in touch with their feelings. I don't want to go to the desert and be in a dust storm with goggles. I think you guys would be so funny. You guys would be so fun out there because there's so much to laugh at. I think you would just have a ball. You would scream from laughter every day. But then I'd get sand in my mouth.
It's a minefield. It's a minefield of potential issues. It's everything good and bad. My Middle Eastern body has no issue with the dust. I rarely even need to cover my nose and mouth unless there's a severe dust storm. It's so windy in Oklahoma City. My eyes are swollen after just walking from my car into the office. Can you imagine? I'm so happy that you all made it out.
And it looks like we're not going to have potentially repeat visits in this next calendar year. Except for you two are going for sure, Nellie and Jen? We hope to. Oh, me, it's going to go to. What would you do? Peer pressure. Jen took to it like I have never seen. Like Jen took to it like you wouldn't believe. You know, it's about having a sense, like her sense of adventure, I think, is incredible.
So big that she just was like this. I I've come home, you know to the to the place where I can just have that Infinity like Jen just having fun Well, do you think is this move the needle for you at all pumps? Do you think you would go to Burning Man? No, I
Hard pass. I don't like group activities. I don't want to do any of those things. I love the Amalfi Coast. Love it. Absolutely. Do you think you can pamper yourself in luxury while at Burning Man? Like just set yourself up really nicely? Here's the deal. I, when I want to be pampered, I don't want to do that for myself. What I consider being pampered is having services provided for me by others.
Do you know what I mean? Well, you could get a spanking and a grilled cheese. I just would hate for you not to even try it once, you know? I know. I know. I know. Just once. Just once try it. I would have a lot of hostage demands. I mean, like it would be like I would have a huge demand list. Who's the recipient of this list?
Well, y'all are the ones campaigning for me. Right. So it sounds like you all are going to be campaigning. I don't want to go. Y'all are the ones that want me to go. So, I mean, I'll just provide the list. It's going to be you three, you five motherfuckers. You figure it out. Figure it out. The needle has not moved. It is my absolute worst possible case scenario. Like if you want to tour your very own Guantanamo. We just launched our merch page. And guess what? One of the shirts is that we're selling.
Boycott Burning Man. I don't mean to be condescending. Are we condescending? I don't really. I mean, we have a podcast called I've Had It. I think we're way past being condescending at this point. That's probably true. Are there others out there like us that are? Well, there's 340 million people in the world and only 70,000 that are Burning Man. Burning Man haters. Yeah, we hate fun. I have been that person. I think it's normal.
at one point during the week to be like, what am I doing here? Yes. I mean, really, he's campaigning. He's on the public relations tour. No. But I want to thank you all so much. Thank you. Listen, I know we're cynical and I know we're burning rain haters, but we do love people and we do love Jen and Neely and that you all have so much fun together on this trip and you make all of these memories. I truly appreciate that. And I do think it's absolutely
absolutely amazing. I would love to travel with you guys. Simply Burning Man is just not an option for me personally. And I think if I went, you would have incredible, you would think to yourself, why the fuck did we campaign to bring this woman here?
I think that would probably happen. You'd end up hating her. It's fine. Yeah, 100%. It's better this way. Yeah, it is better. And you would really end up hating her. She has a heart of trickery. She would be a million times worse than I would be. I can hang a hanger off my nipples if I want to. So that would be my trick for grilled cheeses.
And chocolate chip cookies. Like I would cut that line and be like, move back motherfuckers. Watch this. And I'd be the queen of the whole thing. She used to be able to balance it with a wood hanger. Yeah. And now. Gravity. Yeah. Now she can still do just the hanger. Just the basic wire hanger at this point. So, you know, probably got about five more years of that. That's it. The nipples are really impressive.
Impressive. Yeah. They are. They are. They're impressive nipples. Thank you. They are. I mean, it's like a really elongated pencil eraser that you can actually support something. And now the death of the podcast.
The last thing we ever say was about my nipples. We're so desperate. We're dragging out your pony trick. My pony trick. My party trick. All that's to say, thanks for being on today. Thank you for being a guest. It was so fun. And thank you for being open and vulnerable and sharing in what was probably a hostile environment for you.
I really appreciate that. And it's not lost on me that you walk into this hostility and the cynicism and you just still own your truth. I love it. I love that you guys are friends with our friends. And I hope that we can go to a five-star hotel together sometime soon. But not with your baby. Not until he's about 10. I just don't like babies very much. Okay. I know it's too late for her. She's going to have to go through it. Oh, my God.
There's no way back now. There's no way back. We've got to cut, babe. Okay, bye. Bye, guys. Love you. Good to see you. Thanks so much. Thank you so much. Bye. That was... Was that bad? Why was that so bad? I mean... You're the one that told people not to come to the pool.
onesie i want to say to you guys i absolutely love your friends they're great they're awesome they're amazing i'm so glad that you all have these wonderful experiences with them i want to say to everybody follow us like us pumps tell everybody how to find our merch i've had it.com that was wrong that was completely wrong i've had it podcast.com yes we have
Everybody. No, you have to do it. Okay. Okay. www.I'veHadItPodcast.com. Bye everyone. See you next Tuesday. I'll tell you what I've had it with. Let's hear it. I've had it with that. I've had it. Had it. Had it. Had it.