A Highly Strange Episode with Payne Lindsey
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So, you know, originally we had you collab and told you that like,

We had to do it to sync up voice and video. Right. We really don't have to. Oh, we never have had to? No. No, it was a prank from the jump, but I like it. I like it. Now I feel like we can't start the show without it. No, it's a kickoff that we need to continue. Yes. I do have to just to kick this whole thing off real quick. Okay. So I was looking at my direct messages this morning and I got one from our friend, Boki. Uh-huh. And he says, you are hotter than gin. Oh.

So I just before we start. Okay, thank you. I just wanted to let you know. Thank you for that exercise in humility. That's right. You know, that's always humility. That's always a great way to kick off. See you next Tuesday. Right. With just a total next Tuesday. A total cunty comment. That's absolutely right. Okay. So what have you had it with pumps? Oh my God. What I've had it with.

is children's activities that do not start until 8 p.m., which I'm in bed pajamas the whole night by 8.30, hopefully asleep by 9.15. Don't get home till like 10, 10.30, then your kid's hungry, all of those things. But we have this twice a week during basketball and soccer season, 8 p.m. I just feel like

There's a better plan that we could come up with than that. So I see the kid activity start time and I'm going to raise you everything. Concerts start too late. Dinners start too late. Yeah, but I don't go to those. Let me have it for God's sake. Can you let me have it? It's not about you.

I thought everything was about me. Can you not let me have it? Recently, Jamie Lee Curtis went viral on Instagram because she said, why doesn't Coldplay have a matinee? That is the truth. See? We would have so many more things to do. I would be so much more social if this shit started at like 4 or 5 p.m. Right. And then by 8 o'clock, you're headed home to your jommies. Jommies?

PJs, whatever, johnnies. Okay. I think that everything needs to start earlier. I think a lot of fuckery goes on at night. For sure. And I know this because when I was younger, I was engaged in the fuckery late at night. 100%. My dad used to say, there's nothing good girls need to be a part of past 11 p.m. So that was my curfew all through high school. Is that kind of sexist?

Well, I don't know. He thought I was a good girl. That's the takeaway. But I remember when I got to college thinking about that and thinking to myself, he's absolutely right. Because you don't really start gearing up for mischief until about midnight. Yeah. No, I think everything needs to start earlier. And I think the matinee...

is like I think NBA basketball games. Like if the Thunder games would start at 5 p.m. or 6 p.m., I would be at every Thunder game. Right. But sometimes they trot these out for like West Coast time zone. And so you're not arriving there. The game tip-off isn't until 8 p.m.

And it's a total dick over because then you don't go to bed until like 11, 1130. I require eight hours of sleep on the nose to even function. And neither one of us can sleep very much past five o'clock. No, we both early risers. Early, early risers. That started, I might remind you, so that we could get up before the kids and

talk on the phone, have a cup of coffee and smoke cigarettes. It did. So they would get up like at seven. So we had to get up earlier so we could just have that little bit of time. Motherhood tip from I've had it.

If you are a smoker, wake up before the kids and smoke your cigarettes before they wake up. We don't smoke anymore, so nobody go fucking bananas on us. But how great was that coffee and cigarette first thing in the morning? Oh, and we would just solve all the world's problems. It was the best shit. Yes. It was the best shit. So let me tell you what I've had it with.

We've been building to this. Oh, okay. Okay. It all started, this is like the gateway drug. Okay. Couples sitting on the same side of the booth. Right. That's where it starts. Okay. And then it moves on to couples that have to do everything together. Right. And then it escalates to the couples, which we covered a couple of episodes, that communicate with each other online. Yes. And the crystal meth of this toxic activity-

are couples that have joint social media accounts. I've never even seen one of those. Sadly, I have.

So they only post with each other? So it would be like Pumps and Blow Joe Sullivan. And that is their Facebook account. Or that is their Instagram account. What? Yeah, or like Pumps Fam. It's like the whole family account. Do they have individual accounts? No. It's all on their together account. A married couple. So here's some theories. That's weird. Here's some weird working theories that I have on this. Okay.

Number one, which is probably the strongest one, these people are stage five fucked up. A hundred percent. Number two, somebody got busted having a little affair in the DMs.

So the compromise was, if we're going to be on social media, we're going to share the account moving forward so that I can keep an eye on your DMs. So that was the compromise. Right. Yeah. Because we have known in our day, lots of couples that have a little naughtiness going on on the DMs that have to completely get off social media. Right. And then the person claims the person that had the affair. Well, it was just an emotional affair. Right. Shut up. You're an asshole. Move

Move on. So you think, okay, so theory two is that there's been some nefarious contact. Somebody fucked around. Somebody fucked around. So they have to only be on Instagram or any social media together. Together. Right. So it graduates. That's the crystal meth. You know, it starts with the same side of the booth. The gateway drug. Okay, now it's all coming in. So what I'm trying to identify for people is...

This is the road to crystal meth in relationships. If you're sitting on the same side of the booth right now, before you know it, you're going to be fucking toothless asking Facebook a question with your spouse that Google could answer. Right. Right. My question is, so do you comment to the couple or just one person? I think that's a whole nother thing for the

For the viewer or whatever, the person that's interacting, how do you know who you're talking to? Right. That's what I'm saying. You know, who is, who's putting up, hey, does anybody know any great hotels in Santa Fe, New Mexico? Who are you responding to? Right. Can you not have a relationship with one individual from this relationship by themselves or does everything have to be together? And this is crystal meth shit.

I have another twist. Okay. Maybe the couple account is looking for A, swingers, or B, a third.

To join them in a little sexual escapade. That could be it. I love that. Yeah. I mean, not that I love it. I mean, let me clarify for the listener. I love the juice of that. I mean, the last thing I want to do is bring another person into my marriage because Josh Welch is more than I can fucking handle. It's too much already. But that is very interesting. So like as a divorce attorney, you've experienced a lot of your clients have swinging issues. I mean, there's just a lot of...

you know, fuckery going on. Right. All throughout the world. Right. I think the two working theories that we have are you either got caught fucking around. A hundred percent. Or you want to fuck around more. Right. One of the two, because if your excuse for this, if your reasoning for this is, I just love my man so much and we share everything. I can't have anything to do with that person. Right. I never want to ever see that person again in my whole life. Like, no, thank you.

Speaking of people that we definitely want to see, we have a treat. I mean, a big time treat for our listeners today. Yes. So a few weeks ago, the host of High Strange, big time podcaster Payne Lindsay reached out to us. Kylie booked him on the show. Right. We were so excited. We thought that he was coming.

Via Zoom. Right. So we get this email yesterday and Kylie's like, he's actually flown to Oklahoma City and he's going to do an in-studio interview.

interview. So I start freaking out a little bit. Yes, you are freaking out. Because I binged High Strange last weekend. Right. And it is a million times better podcast than this heaping pile of shit. I mean, it is so sleek. It is so good. It is so methodical. It is so thought provoking. And I'm like, well, shit, we're having a real smart motherfucker on this thing. Kind of nervously. I hope I don't fangirl out on Zoom. Right.

And then Kylie gets this email that he's flown to Oklahoma City and it's an in-studio interview. And so, I mean, pumps is dolled up for you people that watch on YouTube. I mean, she put on a dress. I even put on heels. You have on the goddamn croc flip-flops. These are not crocs. These are not crocs. Well, they're just as bad. But I know, but I did wear real shoes, but I just am more comfortable in these. That doesn't count. It does count. He's coming in here and you have on these goddamn flip-flops.

Well, that's true. Right. Okay. Oh, well. All right. So let's get Payne in here in the studio because we have so much we need to ask him. This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. Pumps, do you remember that time that my marriage was absolutely falling apart and I would go to my therapist like three times a week?

I do remember that because coincidentally, my marriage was falling apart and I too was going to a therapist two or three times a week. Those were some dark days, but thank God we went to see a therapist to sift through all of that insanity. I don't think I could have ever gotten through that period of life without having a great therapist. If you're thinking of starting therapy, give BetterHelp a try. It's convenient because it's all online, so it's flexible with your schedule.

Just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist and switch therapists at any time for no additional charge. Discover your potential at BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com slash had it today to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash had it.

Okay. Hi, Payne. Hey, how you doing? Welcome to OKC. Surprise. I'm so excited you're here. Just in the area. You stopped by from Atlanta. It's the best thing ever because I like just you were in my ear for like 12 hours last weekend. I'm sorry. No, it was incredible.

I was just telling the listener that your podcast is a million times better than ours. I mean, it is so good. Well, thank you. But before we dive into your podcast, which I want to later, I want to stay on theme of our podcast. Sure. Which is, I mean, creme de la creme shit talking here. Right. I love it. So we need to know what you've had it with. You know, one of them, I've had it with the middle-aged white men on airplanes who leave the window open. Yeah.

It may sound stupid, but it's so fucking bright that I can't see. My eyes are sensitive. But there'll be a guy with an iPad out and just the reflection of clouds on it. And then when he finally closes it and it gets dark, they'll turn the light on above them. I'm like, what the hell's going on? And

I like the aisle, but sometimes it's worth snagging that window just to close the fucking window. You know what I mean? A preemptive strike. Yeah. That one drives me crazy. Yeah. Actually, today, the guy had the window the whole time. Like, it's the first time they've been on an airplane. They're like, oh, look how small the buildings look from up here. Right.

Outside of having a two-year-old, I don't think you need to point that out. I mean, we all get it. You're up high. It was fun the first time. Right. Flying has become pretty insufferable. It's bad. It is really a miserable experience and it is a minefield of shit to have it with. Oh, yeah. Like, I think that one thing that nobody really talks about is the pre-boarding abuse. Yes. Like, here's the deal. If you're in the military, okay. Yeah.

But if one person's in the military and your family are the Duggars, does everybody get to pre-board? I don't think so. Right. There's no oversight in this. Not if I was in charge. Right. Right. You'll see a family of like 12 trotting into pre-board. And I'm like, is there any oversight? Who's monitoring this? They're all trotting on. There's only one person that was in the military. I mean, the funny part is.

boarding early isn't even that cool. Right. You sit there on the tarmac for a lot longer. Yes. You get one little spot for your bag, but that's it. There's no perks. No, really. It's correct. Because, you know, we'll jockey. We'll be like, okay, we're boarding group one. Let's go. And we get in line. And then you see somebody trying to cut you off. Right. And then I can get kind of internally. I'm like, what a dick. And I'm like,

Pump the brakes, Jennifer. They can't leave without you. We're all going to the same place. Everybody's getting on the plane. But there's something about it that can just – about travel that gets everybody jockeying for the best position. We're so bad at putting our bags up top on the airplane. Right. Like if this was an Olympic sport, we would come in last place in the entire world. Yeah.

I have no idea why it takes so long. Yeah. It takes forever. Yes, it does. It takes 45 minutes. Right. Or the person that keeps pushing a bag that clearly is not going to fit. And they're like... Right. I'm just like, bitch, you got to check that shit. Like, why didn't you check that shit? Right. What about TSA? Man, you know, obviously flying sucks. That's been established. But I have had it with the TSA. I really have. And it's funny. It's like...

I've flown a lot, right? The last five years, I mean, there was times where I was flying like two or three times a week the whole year. And I would eventually get to this kind of headspace where if I was flying a lot, like two or three times a week, I could turn into this sort of, you know, robot zombie that had no emotions and just take what was coming to me. And it was a lot easier. My anxiety level was low.

But if I don't fly for like two weeks, I'm back to like, this is ridiculous. Like, I just can't help it. According to TSA, it seems like everything can be a bomb. Right. Chapstick or your wallet. You know,

I came through, I think it was New York, and my buddy was like, oh, shit, I left my pocket knife in my bag. I'm like, oh, shit. I'm like, honestly, they probably won't even see it. They didn't see it, so he got through with a damn knife. Right. And as we're walking out, there's like a five-year-old kid who's tearing up, and they're dusting his hands for bomb dust. Yeah.

You're like, what the hell is going on? It's like, has there ever been a five-year-old that had bomb dust on their hands? Right. Even a terrorist. If it's never happened at all, then we should probably stop. Right. I agree. Well, I think the shoe's off. Remember the guy tried to blow something up with the heel of his shoe? Yep. We're past that now. One guy one time ruined it for everybody. He ruined it for everybody. I'm like, I don't want to see everyone's nasty, smelly feet. And I don't want to walk around in my socks.

and get them all dirty. You just, ugh. I think that's a bad idea. The worst is getting stuck behind little kids. Yeah. That is the worst. And I'm not really a big lover of children and pumps hates kids. Right. Except my own. Yeah. But they are the worst. I mean, the absolute worst. I almost think the airline should explore having like family flights. Right. For kids 12 and under and families can all be on that flight. Oh, that's a great idea. And the rest of us can be separated. You're welcome, American Airlines. All right.

I think they should actually separate when you walk in the airport, those who've never been to a fucking airport before. It seems like every time you go, it's someone's first time doing this, which I mean, I guess it's probably true. But I mean, if you have a bunch of reps and let's put these guys, the seasoned people over here. Right. Yeah. Definitely. Put the airport virgins on their own wing. That seems fair. They're on terminal. Yeah. If you're an airport virgin, there you go. It totally seems fair.

Let's talk about your podcast, High Strange. Okay. So that shit is cool. I'm so glad you binged it. I'm impressed. Totally binged it. And one day I got a manicure, a pedicure, went home, would not speak to my children, barely pet my dogs, which is unheard of in my world. Completely ignored my husband for the entire time. It was so...

Good. And it was so methodical and well thought out. And you just like start flexing right from the jump. You're like quoting Carl Sagan. And then you make this really strong case about how we need to be curious as individuals. And then you drop that fucking rap song at the end. It was so good. But what made you want to explore this? I mean, I've done true crime podcasts since I've ever started making podcasts pretty much my whole career. I love the suspense and the mystery of it all.

But, you know, to me, this has been a topic I've loved since I was a kid. Just wouldn't it be cool if they were real or we're not alone? So it's kind of just a fun idea. Then as I kind of really got into it, I realized, oh, man, this is...

I mean, I knew there was like some stuff going on, but I didn't know there was probably a lot of stuff going on. And so it kind of became a little bit more serious to me in terms of how do I deliver this message to people who may not be that UFO guy, right? Right. Who might need to, I don't know, accept the idea that something else is possible. Right. Or, you know, opened your mind just a little bit. So that's what I thought was so good about it. Because when I think about UFOs,

I didn't realize, but my brain was kind of programmed to think, oh, people that think that are kooky. Right. Yeah, of course. And you cover that in episode one, that that was actually, I don't know what year, maybe the 70s or 80s, that the government actually started intentionally saying, let's label the people that have cited these things as crazy. Yeah. Project Blue Book actually did this. They

put effort into trying to make these claims of UFOs and the people who are making the claims that they were a little crazy. Right. And that it was nothing to pay attention to. Right. So now currently in the last few years, it was revealed that former Senator Harry Reid had a kind of a secret investigative senatorial project where they were investigating legitimate claims from people

United States military personnel that are saying there is some shit up here that we cannot explain that are moving at speeds and maneuvering in a way that is impossible for the scientific

you know, abilities of our current species. That's really when the conversation changed. That was 2017. A New York Times article came out and unveiled that, you know, the military was studying UFOs, like actual UFOs, and had been for quite some time. I think that kind of really, I guess, changed the stigma a little bit. And

I kind of started a new conversation about it where it wasn't as taboo anymore. If these Navy pilots who don't really have a good reason to make this up are seeing these things, you kind of, you know, you tend to want to listen. Right. I want to share with you some headlines about UFOs. Well, first of all, Kylie brought to my attention that there is a new trend in the UK that a lot of bosses and companies have seen

UK employees calling in sick, claiming that they were abducted by aliens. This actually worked? This is working. It's a trend. They've seen a huge spike in the number of their employees calling in ET phone home. So they spend their whole fake sick day crafting this bizarre story that they need to retell to their boss? Yeah. That's impressive. It is. Okay, here's one. And you can tell me what you think about this.

One woman claimed she was abducted by aliens, taken to a spaceship, and had sexual relations with the aliens. The alien was then apparently jealous of her relationship with her boyfriend on Earth, and this sparred a bizarre love triangle. Ha ha!

I hope that's true. I do too. I mean, that'd be kind of funny if it was. Let me ask you this. If you were abducted by aliens and there's like this green alien, kind of reptilian, kind of like what we think about from Hollywood movies, but she's got big boobs, great ass. Are you hitting it? Oh yeah, I'm fucking over it. I mean, what I'm going to say like, then I, you know, she was kind of hot, but I didn't really want to have sex with you. Yeah.

No, I'm coming back. But yeah, and we had sex. Right. No, I think you have to have sex with the alien. Are you fucking her pumps? I would fuck him. Well, I thought we were exploring your lesbian arc. No, I know, but I don't think I'd be there yet. I'd probably be too scared of an alien. The male alien you would? Yeah, you'd have to say you did it. No lesbian alien intercourse. No, not yet. There'd be a little bit, hey, it's my first time. I don't know what we're doing here. Does this work the same?

Okay, here's another one. Okay.

Call him bullshit on that one. I'm calling bullshit on that too. I do too. I think that's total bullshit. Fashion show? No. Okay, this one I'm totally into and I hope this happens to me. It's the Alien Game Show.

In this alleged abduction story, a man claimed that he was taken aboard a spaceship and forced to participate in a bizarre game show hosted by aliens. The game involved answering trivia questions about Earth and competing against other human abductees for prizes. I hope that's true. That's some Hunger Games shit. That's weird. Yeah, I like that. And I always thought it would be fun. I grew up in the 80s, and so we watched soap operas and game shows.

And I loved The Price is Right. Did you watch it? Yes. Bob Barker? Yes. I mean, loved it. And so I hope that this is true because I would totally want to be on the Alien Game Show. Would you crush up there? I would fucking crush. See, I would be so worried the geography questions would kill me. I would crush the geography. Okay. And then you guys, let me know how you feel about this one. The butt probing incident. Which one? Oh.

You mean last night? One alleged alien abduction story involved a man who claimed that he was abducted and subjected to butt probing procedure by the aliens. The man would say that aliens supposedly used a large Q-tip to conduct the procedure. A Q-tip? A large Q-tip. I'll say, I mean, record show or...

Aliens love some buttholes. There are a ton of... They might not have a butthole. They're like, okay, I still don't quite get why this is here. So as you explored this, did you find a lot of the butt probing claims?

I mean, not on purpose. But there's a lot of ass play in these claims. There is. They love that shit. There's a lot of those claims. I purposely kind of left out the wonky sounding ones. Right. And sure, maybe some of those butthole claims are true.

But I'm not going to sit here and say butthole on my strange podcast trying to get you to believe in aliens. Right. But there's something, there's a through line. That's a common thing, you know? When did the butthole alien thing start, you know? Who was the first one to claim that

an alien play with their butt? I don't know, but that could be like the second part of High Strange. That's an investigation right there. Right there. Your second season. That's a mystery. Aliens and butt play. Yeah. Why? By Payne Lindsey. What's going on with the aliens and all the ass play? But first we need to explore what this is really about here on Earth. And we'll, like at Research and Development. Totally. Totally. Yeah. Because it kind of sounded like a dominatrix when you were reading off the claim.

that maybe he didn't get taken by aliens, that he just ran into a dominatrix and was doing that whole thing. Well, there was another story that Kylie and I found where this guy, he's an artist, and he paints portraits of, he claims that he lost his virginity at the age of 18 to an alien woman. He has had sex with her off and on for decades now. This man's like 70-something. He has fathered multiple mixed breeds.

And now you're getting into the bullshit, you know, like that's weird. But that's what I think when you, what pain covers in his podcast is there's this crazy part of it. Right. That is fucking nuts. But then there are these Navy pilots. And so he tries to, you know, sift through that. There was a lady that I did interview and I didn't put it in the podcast, obviously, because it sounded a little, little out there.

But she claimed to have a relationship with about 20 different aliens and they all had names and she had little drawings of what they all looked like. And they're all weird, like alien sounding names. And then one of them, one of the names was Steve, like straight up the toothpick Steve as his name. Just thought it was cool. Cool Earth name, I guess. I don't know. Where did she meet these people?

I guess... Did they just come to her? She claimed that they would come to her in her bed at night and come visit her and take her up there and... I don't know. There is a lot of alien sex stories. Yeah. And there's like... Kylie and I dug into it yesterday and there's a lot of alleged alien rape stories. It gets dark. It gets... Did you cover... I mean, did you run into any of that? I mean, I've seen some of that stuff on Reddit, but...

I didn't call them up, though, and have them tell it to me directly. Okay, now we want to play a game with you called Had It or Hit It. You can tell us if you've had it with something or if you would absolutely hit it. Oh, my God. Welcome to Had It or Hit It. I would hit it. Had it. I hit it every day, sometimes twice a day. Okay, first thing, Stanley Cups.

Stanley cups like hockey? No. That's a great question. Did you see when you came in to our studio earlier, Pumps had two thermoses and she was refilling one. It's this uber large oversized beverage that she carries around with her everywhere. Oh, like, no. Had it with us. I had it with that one. Yeah. I've had it. I'm not a water cup guy. Please don't say that in front of her. She's just going to browbeat me. I probably should be. I'm one of those...

three plastic bottles a day kind of guys, which is horrible. Don't do that. Right. Don't come for me, internet. Yeah, really. So pumps, we have this, you know, I have this ongoing thing. I've had it with oversized beverages. I've had it with

She has to carry this around with her everywhere. It is iced tea with stevia in it, which I conducted a huge investigation into stevia, which causes dehydration, which further exacerbates this tea addiction. And I've had it up to my eyeballs. And we received a comment on YouTube recently, and the person's name is just Kay. And it says...

I wrote a whole essay under another video defending pumps and her big drink thinking she was lugging water around. Whole time it's been iced tea. Pumps needs to be stopped. You know what this is a classic case of? What? He fucked around with you, defended you. Right. Wrote an essay on some YouTube post and then he found out

that you're over there sucking on that iced tea with Stevia in it. Does one fill last you the whole day? Oh, no. She goes through four. Lots of refill. How many ounces are we talking here? 40 ounces. 40 ounces. Probably five times a day. How many times do you pee a day? A lot. Okay. Not as much as you would think, though. Okay. All the time. I...

I would be every 10 minutes if I drank 40 ounces of anything in the first two hours of the day. So it's 40 ounces times five. So she's drinking 200 ounces of iced tea, this one woman. Yeah.

That's impressive, honestly. I'm the Olympic winner of tea drinking. Damn. Okay, had it or hit it? Nipple piercings. Hit it. I mean, I don't, no. Okay, would you? No. It would hurt, I feel like. Yeah, no. I have no, I mean, it's not one of my kinks, you know? Right. Um...

I don't care if you do. Right. It can be kind of cool, I guess, sometimes, but... What about you, Coach? You had it? You're done with those? I'm neutral like you. Like, I think some people kind of have a whole look. Like, they've got tats. They got a piercing. Right. It's part of your thing. It's their whole vibe. And I'm like...

Their nipple piercing doesn't affect me at all. So why do I give a shit? Sure. I like to care about much pettier things, you know, than that. The TSA. Yeah. We're much smaller people than that. Way smaller than that. No, I don't think I would do a nipple piercing or a belly button because here's what I don't understand. The people with the nose piercings, how does that work? I think you stick a needle through your nose. I don't know. Yeah. I mean, like, how do you pick your nose after that? Yeah.

I mean, I'm a big nose picker. Are you? It's one of my favorites. Yes. Did you eat them as a kid? No, I didn't eat them. Did you put them on the wall? Did you put them on the wall? I think I did do that. I did that. Yes. I totally did that. My mom came in one day and it was just bodies. Just booger bodies all over the damn wall. And I was like, oh shit, that is pretty gross. That is gross. Yeah. I'm sorry. Sorry, mom. I'd be more inclined to get a nipple piercing than a nose piercing. I agree. What about a clit piercing? I get that. Yeah.

I'm going to say no on that. Yeah. I'm definitely not doing anything piercing wise down there. Yeah, no. Okay. Had it or hid it. A yak mouth seated next to you on an airplane. Had it. Yeah, the worst. Don't talk to me at

At all. I agree. And I think when the. And that's polite. That's polite. I think when the stewardess or I'm sorry, flight attendant is saying like, you know, don't get up if the seatbelt signs on. It should also say. And if the person next to you has an earbuds, that means they don't want to talk. It should just be part of the standard protocol. It's a bad sign if you're on the tarmac still. And they're like, where are you heading? Exactly. I'm like, huh?

Oh, it's work. What do you do? Oh, yeah. Fuck. I make podcasts. Which one? It's mostly true crime stuff. Oh, cool. My daughter loves true crime. Stop. No, it's the worst. Recently, I had a project in Florida and I flying by myself, have my earbuds in and the guy comes and he sits down next to me and I immediately knew yak mouth vibes. I knew this motherfucker was a yak mouth.

So I really like put my ear, my hair behind my ears so that he will know. So he starts yakking and I'm very obviously like you paint. I take the ear pod out. I'm like, oh, I'm sorry. I'm listening to a podcast. What is it? He's like, so do you live in Florida? And I'm like, nope. And I just put the ear pod back in. And then there's another one. Like, what are you doing going to Florida? Yeah.

Oh, for work. What do you do? I'm an interior designer. Then my fucking AirPods die. And he sees me. Keep them in. Keep them in. I should have. I made a fatal error. I take them out. And then he immediately tells me that he is remodeling his lake house in Ohio. Oh, no. I end up for the remainder of the flight giving free...

Interior design advice on the worst selections. He's like, should I pick this tile or this one? And I wanted to say fucking neither. I wouldn't put that tile in my fucking dog's house. It's dog shit.

But I sat there and I had to do it. But it was a huge lesson for me. Leave the pods in. Absolutely. Even if they're dead. Oh, yeah. If I'm in a public place, I'm rocking pods. Yeah. Dead or not. Yeah, totally. Totally dead. I bet you guys get it worse, too. Like pretty ladies. I'm sure that the amount of annoying ass guys who are like, hey, yeah.

Thankfully, they don't do that shit with me, usually. Well, Pumps was just telling us before you got in here how hot she was. No, I was not. What did I say? Oh, my God. Kylie, rewind the tape. Because we had a DM from a mutual friend that said I was hotter than her. Oh, I heard that. Yeah. So you were hotter. Right. That I was hotter. So I wanted to make sure she heard that. A little brag. So you can only imagine. A little boost, you know? Yeah. I bet the men are just, I mean, frothing at the mouth over you on clients that you're so goddamn hot. You know, I just have not had that problem. Okay. Had it or not.

it or hit it one star reviews of high strange on apple had it okay let me just find one no i have them do you okay good oh yes okay so i want to do a dramatic reading okay on april 3rd jad r80 gives you a one star and the subject of this one is boring

a bunch of reenactments with voice actors and regurgitating old info that anyone with interest in the subject of UFOs would have already heard a hundred times before. I found it quite dull and tedious. Here's why I hate this review. Probably the most. It's fucking not true. Right. There are no reenactments in this podcast. And like, that sounds believable. It's like, oh yeah, it's one of those. It's like, no, it actually isn't one of those. Who is this guy?

Okay, here's one on April 1st, and this is Mop Top Muzz. And the subject of this one is deficient in critical thinking skills, and it's a one-star review. What in the Walmart Jerry Springer is going on here? It's possible to loose, L-O-O-S-E, to loose IQ points when listening. I don't think he has many to lose before he'll be dead. Well, he's talking about loose. What was their name?

Pussy.

I mean, for real. Right. He is a total pussy because if you're going to deliver a burn, like if he really, if he's, you know, spell lose properly, especially if you're talking about intellect. Yeah. And you misspelling. He's talking about losing IQ points and this motherfucker spells it loose. It's perfect. Right. Microcosm of his life. Those actually make my day better. We love ours. I love just eating it. I'm like, yeah, we love ours. Yeah, no, it's good. Okay.

Here is another one. March 28th, Jedi of Truth. And the subject of his one-star review is impossible. B-A-L.

Think I'll pass on this one. Just more regurgitation of blue marble nonsense and the coming alien deception. Earth is a broad plane under the dome. Go out and test it for yourself. You won't find any curvature or spin. Hashtag just Jesus.

Is this a Christian flat earther? Right. I mean, I'm confused. I think so. I mean, that's a niche thing. Right. There's not a lot of them, right? But it's under a dome. I don't get it. Which is rounded. I don't know. That guy, I don't know. He's too smart for us. You guys, listen. He's figured it out. He has. For sure. He's the Jedi of truth. That's right. Jedi of truth. He probably knows more than us. Yeah, for sure.

Okay. And here's my favorite. One Star by SadieBaby92. Horrible podcast. Yeah.

Pain tricked us. He gave us one free episode of Radio Rental about aliens, and it makes you think the entire podcast will be like that. But then when you buy it and listen, it's all like one boring documentary of stuff we could have found out from a Google search. Funny parts were when Pain would say, I don't know what this means, but it was a fun little experiment. Yeah.

Glad you had fun on our dime, LOL. Also, he didn't know a lot of things. Maybe do research before starting a podcast. Thanks for the Google searches all in one podcast. First of all, that was a very lengthy. That was like a manifesto. Totally. I mean, is that person saying you're having fun on your job? No.

I didn't pay you to have fun, Payne. I hate that with people. Well, I did. So, yes, you did. And that guy definitely did not pay. For sure. For sure. That guy is still on episode one. Totally. Guaranteed. This person is probably butthurt that you were so smart to tee it up that you could pay to binge. Which, you know what? I was happy to pay to binge because it was worth it. Right. I want to get through it faster. There's so many gripes about that, too, which is funny. Just the opportunity.

option the option to pay to get something more than you're already getting for free right pisses people off see i always want to do that i always want the more the premium right people just kind of like that as a standard right but they're mad that it's even being offered they were never gonna buy it but they're like you just really price gouging over here i'm like oh my god

It's already free. I don't make podcasts for free for you forever. Like where's this come from? We pay people over here. It's free. If you're a normal person, unlike me that can wait, uh,

each week for a slow drip. I don't have that kind of discipline. I need that shit injected directly into my veins. And you tee it up really brilliantly because you tease episode two, like the last 15 minutes, it kind of gets you in there. So I'm like totally in. I'm Kool-Aid drinking. I'm like, I don't know if we're all going to die here, but I'm in. Here's my money. Take all my money, pain, Lindsay. I'm in. But I can see how there's always these people that are just, just...

Just butthurt. But you know what these same people never get butthurt over? Like corporations not paying their employees enough. Yeah, they don't. Right. But the independent podcaster, you know, who did, I mean, it's a total breadth. How long did it take you to make that?

High Strange? Mm-hmm. A year and a half. Yeah. I mean, and you can tell. I mean, it's a very masterful... No, I had fun one time. Well, you shouldn't have had fun. Yeah. You should not have. Russ has huge savings on looks that are 100% you. So you can find all the styles that match your vibe, from stylish skorts to jersey tees. The trendiest looks of the season will have you saying, it's a yes for me. Plus, they've got shoes to make any fit pop. Be the best dress for less with your...

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I have to just say, I know we're talking about High Strange because that's your new one, but I absolutely, I'm on episode 11 of your Up and Vanished with Tara, how do you say the last name? Grinstead. Grinstead, and it's absolutely fascinating. Well, thank you. And you solved the crime that was over 10 years cold case when you started. Well, what's funny is, you know, if you just type in Payne Lindsey on Reddit, you

You'll see a bunch of funny little titles about how much I suck. And they're all like, Payne always claimed to have solved this crime. He didn't solve anything. It's like, one, I never said I did. Like, Rolling Stone did an article one time, and I didn't pick the headline. It sounded kind of like that, which was kind of cool. But I didn't pick it.

So when people ask you, did I solve the case? Not technically, but if I didn't make the podcast, it wouldn't be solved. Right. And you didn't arrest anybody. I think that's true.

Yeah. Citizens arrest somebody. That's not what anyone does anyway. No, I'm so excited. I can't wait to finish. Oh, it gets crazy. Like the last half, it's, it's almost like a whole new podcast. Really? And it's way more intense. Yeah, totally. Okay. So what is your next project now that high strange is out and I'm telling you, listener, listen to it. It is so much better than this heaping pile of garbage. Yeah.

It is so good. But what is your next podcast venture? So I have several. There's one that I'm really excited about, but I really cannot say it on the air yet because someone will totally take the idea. And you'll see exactly why. I'll tell you guys. Okay. But I'm doing Up and Vantage season four. Oh, good. And just a few other kind of ideas I'm kicking around. I think that High Strange has done pretty well so far. We're halfway through the season.

I would love to expand on that and, you know, make another season or at least a little mini series of something, or I don't even know, turn the feed into something else. If people are,

game and want to listen to it. I have an idea on that. I think you need to do a high strange international to where you can parallel like these claims that these pilots have seen here, these American pilots have seen, these other countries have seen. You dabble in that a little bit. You mentioned that other countries have, but I think a high strange international season and I will be the first to take that IV and for you to inject it. I would even probably pay like 1099. Cool. We're upping it.

No, that's actually kind of what I was thinking. Like literally. I want to hear what the rest of the world is experiencing. What are the similarities in all of these cases from a pilot's viewpoint, from a governmental whistleblower viewpoint, and then just the crazy stories like the people who are fucking the aliens on the game show. And the probes. I mean like –

Right. Is the ass play as common with the European aliens? Right. Or do Americans just have better ass? What's going on there? We don't know the answer to that yet. And those are the hard hitting questions you need to uncover in High Strange Season 2. High Strange Season 2 probes.

I mean, I think that I will definitely want to stay in touch with you because that was so I cannot wait for you to finish it. It was so good. I'm honestly, I'm very flattered. Thank you. I'm actually just so glad that you guys liked it and people liked it at all. Because to me, it felt like it was going to be kind of a big swing. And I made it pretty bold and, you know, kind of feels kind of cocky every now and then like a

One of those, like, I'm still here moments as a podcaster without actually saying that. And yeah, I'm just glad people grasp the concept of, okay, I'll listen to a podcast about UFOs and aliens, even though I usually don't. Right. I'm usually kind of adverse to that because I really made it for people who aren't into that because I never watched those UFO shows because I think they're crazy usually. Right. I don't want to look into pyramids and start doing math to...

something that sounds ridiculous. So I wanted to make the anti-UFO UFO podcast. And I think...

Seems like you like that part of it. So I probably would not have listened to it had you not booked to come on our show. But I wanted to be a really good host. Right. Well, that's nice. So I'm going to download and listen to it. So I want to share with our listener that that isn't something I would have gravitated to listen to. The murder that you saw, I'll be hitting that shit. Oh, it's so good. I'm going to start that up. So good. But I did the most recent one because about two weeks ago, we were like surging in the Apple charts.

And we made it to like number three or four in the country. And there was this one fucking blue avatar that we couldn't get past. Just flexing right there. This fucker called High Strange that trots out Metro Boomin and the goddamn UFOs. I'm like, who the fuck is this guy? I want to take him out. Yeah.

And then Kylie's like, hey, he damned us. I think he wants to do our pod. And I'm like, oh, maybe I need to change my personality. Not be so mad at him. Maybe I need to not be such a fucking bitch and listen to his podcast. True. So I listened to it, and it is so good. You're a masterful storyteller. Thank you so much. It's very well thought out. I cannot recommend his podcast enough. And I'm glad that you came in town today because I did just peruse the Apple charts today.

And I've had it as past high strength. You are beating the hell out of me right now. So just a little victory lap. Hey, that's a good sign. But once we're all eight are out, we're going to go probably running laps around you guys. Once that butt probe podcast. Once we drop that probe cast, we're going big. Well, pain, Lindsay. I mean, this has been a real treat.

Thank you. Such a treat. But thanks for coming. Thank you guys for having me. I'm glad I came in person. It's way more fun. It is more fun. Yeah, this is awesome. Thanks for having me. Honestly, when I hit you guys up, I never know when someone sees them or hits back. You never know. Right. It was like the next day, like, yeah, let's do it. I'm like, cool, let's do it. Now I'm here. And here you are. It's the best. In our fair city. It's the best thing ever. I want to get your cell phone number. Yes. I promise not to be a psycho. That's okay. But I'll need to be like, what's going on with, you know, season two of High Strange?

Pumps, you might want to be weary of giving her because she will start texting you nonstop about probably the murder. I know. I did. I mean, I really did think I had it figured out. You'd do that, wouldn't you? Right. Yes. Right until I pulled up and I was like, oh God, it wasn't him. So, yes.

Well, Payne Lindsey, thank you so much. Thanks for coming. Great to have you. Thank you for listening to I've Had It. Please follow us on all the shit, like all the shit for bonus content of pumps hanging a wire hanger off of her nipple. After we receive 1 million Patreon followers, subscribe to Patreon. We're also exploring her journey into lesbianism there. What's the link? Patreon. Patreon.

I'll check it out later. Yeah, exactly. We will see you next Tuesday. See you next Tuesday.

Pick up that glass of Pinot Grigio, your drink of choice, and come have some fun with us on Turtle Time. We're going to do more than just drink and party on this podcast, Mom. I know, I know. Okay, if you don't know who I am, well, I'm Ramona Singer, and that's my daughter, Avery. And you probably know us best from The Real Housewives of New York. And now you'll get to know us even better on our podcast, Turtle Time. Let's make more iconic moments together every Wednesday. It's Turtle Time.

Follow, rate, and review now on Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Amazon Music, or wherever you get your podcasts.

Ross has huge savings on looks that are 100% you. So you can find all the styles that match your vibe. From stylish skorts to jersey tees. The trendiest looks of the season will have you saying, it's a yes for me. Plus, they've got shoes to make any fit pop. Be the best dress for less with your favorite picks of the season. Head to Ross and save 20-60% off other retailers' prices. Items and styles vary by store.