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What are we doing today? I don't know what's going on at this point. You never know what's going on, though. Stop acting like you don't know what's going on. But I got a drink in my hand, which means that I can get through another recording. You know what I don't get? Why don't everyone make the beer with the twist-off cap?
After I bludgeoned myself on the last one. There's been several bludgeonings. Schlatt's bludgeoned himself so many times. Do you think that maybe you just got weak skin? Yeah, it's a possibility. It's a possibility. Ted, I've thought about shooting myself with airsoft pellets.
And then graduating to 22s and then working my way up the bullet chain. Wait, you got to have a BB gun in there in the middle. Until my skin becomes rough and able to withstand trauma. Why don't you just like start rock climbing or rolling around in gravel? Why do you have to be shooting yourself? Because you understand the level of surface area that you got to cover. You got to be shot in every single point in your body for your skin to start. It's true. It's true. You're going to just...
put yourself in like one of those chambers where they take a like when they're 3D scanning someone it's a picture of all sides of their body for like video games but it's all just airsoft BBs and you press a button and all of them hit my body at once and then we graduate
To the 22s. Okay. And then we go straight to 5-5-6, 4-5. 5-5. And then eventually... 50 kill. You're just the metal man. And you can just... Yeah. You can deflect anything. Then my skin is tough. And then I'm tough. And then you can finally open a bottle of Corona with your hands. Or do what the Chinese monks do. And just start hitting yourself in the balls. And eventually, your balls will become a bottle opener. I already hit myself in the balls every night. Why?
Strength training. Welcome to Chuckle Sandwich. Welcome, everyone, to the Chuckle Time. We're here.
I almost said it. We're here and we're ready to, uh, we're ready to stop saying that word, bro. We're ready. And we are ready to talk again. We got a lot of things to cover today. A lot of important stuff to cover. Okay. I mean, I put on my thinking cap. I put, we put on our thinking caps. So that's the New York one. So it's a little bit thinking and my thinking sweater. Yeah. Cornell university, Cornell university, the, uh, the lowest tier Ivy league out of them all.
That's what they say. Have you heard this? It's like for kids that get into like the other Ivy Leagues, they look down on Cornell. I didn't I didn't go to an Ivy League. I actually dropped out as well. I don't know much about college. You don't know much. Not only do you not know much about what you would have learned in college, you don't know much about college as a note, like as an idea. No, you're not even sure. I did. I had to do like liberal arts requirements. Terrible.
Why do I need to do liberal? Why do I need to keep doing shit? I was doing an elementary school. Exactly. And also question of the day, where are the conservative arts requirements? You know, that's also was in my mind the whole time, dude. Yeah. Walk into my liberal arts class and then, you know, I get a I get some fucking pink haired little liberal coming up to me saying, hey, we're protesting inside the cafeteria. No, bitch. I got computer science class. Yeah.
I'm trying to make six figures. And then you shot them at all angles with a Behrsoft BB. You put them in the chamber. Yeah. And then I graduated them, do a 22 and then five, five, six, five, four, five. The way that this sounds, it sounds like it's like a, like a chamber. You throw them in there and it's like a 30 second process. Like,
And they just come out and they're just like their skin is like four inches thick and made of metal. It's like the 1800s and you're like, step into my hardening chamber. My hardening chamber. Oh man, my hardening chamber. I love that. I love that. I'm drunk, Ted. I'm drunk. Already? You just opened the beer. No. You think this is my first one? Oh, I guess not. I guess I shouldn't have assumed.
I made an ass out of you and me. And you know what I had before this? What'd you have before this? A Labatt. A Labatt? Labatt. Labatt. Some Canadian thing. Oh. I don't know. Bunch of Canadians going to be jumping for joy when they see this Labatt blue. Yeah. They're going to be like, that's what my dad drank before he hit me. Dude, what the fuck? Dude, come on.
Canada's a bunch of they're all fucked up in Canada. Yeah, that's true. That's true. Why do they all live on the border? Maybe because they want to get as close to our country as possible and leech off of us. That's pretty likely. You know, we've talked about this before on the podcast. What purpose does Canada really have in the grand scheme of things?
Nothing. Similar to Europe. Why are they part of the Commonwealth? Why do they observe the king? I don't know. They shouldn't be observing the king. I don't even know what the Commonwealth is. I don't even know what it is. Like the kingdom. The kingdom of... It used to be the queen. Now it's a king. British Empire. Like the...
I don't think about the British that much. I don't know. You're right, though. Like a lot of Canada, they don't have much going on in a lot of Canada. It's like... No. There is so much room for McDonald's and Burger King's.
- And more houses. - Yeah, yeah. - There's so much room for houses up there and yet they're just like, oh, we're not gonna build anymore. Let's let the current ones skyrocket in price. Fucking idiots over there. - There's like this one, I saw this one video that's got like 20 million views and it's about this one town and it's like Uganut.
or like uganute no no that sounds that sounds canadian vuna newt or so well it's not canadian it's none of it it's like uh none of what that's what you're talking about yeah none of it no oh there it is that the town yeah there it is province oh the province nunavut ukavut and people that live there ugli ugli ugli bugli yeah like if you look at these towns it's like
You know, I had thought about what was like, well, what if I what if I try to get out here for a YouTube video or something? And I was looking at seeing if I could like.
you know, drive myself there. You can't. You cannot drive yourself there. You can't drive yourself there. What are you talking about? Your truck wouldn't make that journey regardless, buddy. Oh, if I fix it up beforehand, it might. It just might. You'd be off-roading for like hundreds of miles. I got four-wheel drive, baby. I got four-wheel drive. That thing is not going anywhere close to none of it. Oh. Well, now it's a challenge. And now I have to do it. Yeah, please. You understand. Now I have to do this. If your truck broke down somewhere up here,
It would just be left there for eternity. Like no one's saving the truck. They'll pick you up, but it would just freeze.
it'd be like a marker along the way. Like a dead person climbing Mount Everest. Yeah, yeah. Oh, that's yellow boots. We're halfway up the mountain. Well, no, no, because then I'm going to call in some favors and then the Night King's going to come in and he's going to touch the front of the car and it's going to revive it and then a bunch of zombies are going to pull it out of the lake that it's frozen in with a...
some chains. Yeah. How do you know about the Night King? Dude, everybody knows about the Night King. What's the fucking Night King? Everybody knows about the Night King. What's the Night King? Not everybody knows. That's actually the problem. Everybody knows about the Night King. Not everybody knows. That's kind of the premise. The problem is nobody knows about the Night King and nobody wants to focus on it. I know about the Night King.
I don't know what the Night King is. You both need to educate yourselves. Wiki of Westeros? Yeah, it's some Game of Thrones shit. But Tucker, wouldn't you agree that if the Night King came up, touched the truck, it would be revived and they'd pull it out of the frozen lake? Am I wrong to say that? Yeah, but your headlights would now be blue and the truck would hate you. So, okay. So, sorry. It changes from tungsten lights to LEDs. What's the problem? It would no longer serve you.
It would serve the Night King. Well, because I'm calling in a favor from the Night King. Okay? Dude, you're so uneducated it hurts. You're just completely ignorant. I think you're confused that I even made that reference in the first place because it was an accurate reference. Your ignorance is literally painful. It's like nails on a chalkboard. It's hurting. Tucker's getting pissed off. Yeah, you're going to ruin the episode for me. I'm going to be salty the whole episode.
You gotta watch them. Okay, shall I say something like out of line? Get us back on track. What? Say something out of line and a little socially grating. You want me to say something out of line? Something out of line. Yeah, a little socially grating. Something that's tone. Okay. Yeah.
Uh, fuck, I don't even... Come on, you can do it. Wait, what just happened? I feel like all the terrible things I usually think have just left my brain. Yeah, it's one of those things where you can't really ask him to do it. It kind of has to be compelled. It has to slip out. What's the chatbot website? No, we're not going back to the chatbot every episode to try again. I was just going to ask the shlatbot to say something terrible. Yeah, just say something socially grating.
Maybe he's better at it than I am. Yes, say it now. He said, you sure you can handle me being socially grating? He put it in quotes, though. I don't know.
Like grading, like, it's like nails on a chalkboard, you know, grading. I take what I want when I want. I hold power over those worthless fools in Lamanberg. What is Lamanberg? Lamanberg is the dream SMP country I founded. I played on that server for a total of like 45 minutes.
And this character is completely rooted in it. Yeah. Oh, so the AI is your dream SMP guy? I'm assuming. Wow. That's tough. Yeah. That's tough. Oh, but there's a... He's bisexual. Well, we've got another similar character, Schlatt. Blunt, funny, honest, but secretly a big softie. Is that how you would describe yourself, Schlatt? Are you secretly a big softie?
No. Whoa. Hey, Toots. His New York accent seeps out before taking a sip of his whiskey. What's your name? Want a drink? You might have concomitant. That's right. What? That sounds like you had a stroke at the end there. I did have a stroke at the end there. We shouldn't dive into this, though. Hey, let's tackle today's topic on Choco Sandwich. Tucker, what are we doing today? Today's topic is you guys are going to play Incoherent.
Okay, what is it you brought a board game on well? It's not there is no board this game will have cards There's three categories Tucker's trying to open it audio listeners. Love a lot of these really struggling out of friction Okay, so the three categories and I've already picked some for you our pop culture party and spicy
Great. The three things I know the most about. So for reference, let's just grab a random one, right? This one says, go to hell. And so the person whose turn it is to be the jester will be reading gibberish that sounds like what it is. So let's say it's Schlatt's turn. He's going to be looking and reading this.
But Ted will see the actual thing. So how do we... But you have all the cards. So how are we going to... Well, no, I'm going to DM both of you. So one person will get the gibberish and have to say it. And they're going to say it over and over until they figure out what they're saying. While the other person laughs and mocks them because they know what it is. And basically what... It's going to... It's fun. You're basically... Like, you're going to be...
The person who's saying the gibberish, they'll be saying it, but they have no idea they're saying it. They're just saying it over and over. You'll see. You'll see. Just roll with it. Let's do a round. Let's do a round. We're going to have a little bit of a learning curve to how this is going to flow in terms of the episode. And there'll be probably some one-minute cuts here and there as we prep. So would you guys like to start with a pop culture, a spicy, or a party episode?
So spicy stuff is like all sexual related and parties like that would like phrases. Oh yeah. I should give you an example of more phrases before we, before we kick this off. So pop culture phrases can be like, I'm burned out. What's your Venmo? Make it make sense for the win. Gym selfie. I'm over this. So it's just like normal phrases.
You know, banter. Yeah. Let me go first. I'll do pop culture. You're going to do pop culture. Okay. I'm well-versed in pop culture, I think. Dude, he's pop. Schlatt's pretty pop. I've got my finger on the pulse most days. You know what? Schlatt, I think that this year you had...
A little bit of a brat summer. What does that mean? I think the apple's rotten right to the core. Charlie XS. Before. What does it mean to have a brat summer, Schlatt? Well, here's, let me look this up, actually. What does it mean to be brat? Well, um... Well, it is...
Being Brad is about being yourself, not trying to be too hard to be someone else. This philosophic, that's crazy. Philosophy remains true for brands seeking to execute timely communications campaigns. What? We got to move on, Ted. Let's go. Let's go. So I DM both of you. Ted gets both sides of the card. And typically there'd be a timer and you get like a minute, but I don't think we're going to do the timer thing.
Let's not do the timer. Let's just roll with this for a little bit and see how it goes. Okay. So I'll close my eyes and then you got to show him the full card. No, no. He's got to send it to me. You have it. Pull it up on another screen perhaps. Yeah, I've got it.
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Great. I'm locked in, baby. Nepo, baby. You got it immediately. Was that supposed to be hard? The card said Kinep Bo Pei Bee.
What if Schlatt gets everyone immediately? Like he's just like a genius. It was nipple baby. That's fucked up. It was nipple baby. Okay, well now this next one is probably going to be like ridiculously hard. He's going to give it to me. And I'm going to look like an idiot. Because now Tucker's going to adjust, but I'm getting the adjustment one. So now Schlatt's getting this little. So I'm going to type it out for, so we can all just see. And I'll just DM Schlatt the answer.
Okay, okay. So Ted what what category you want spicy party or or pop culture? Spicy dude spicy. Was it gonna be a fucking sex thing? I got yeah, it is it is don't say that's so jolly like it is gonna be a sex thing Okay, so you got to read it out loud and still love her chin mmm still love her chin
That's three Ms. That's three Ms. That's an intentional three Ms. That's an intentional three Ms. I wrote it verbatim. I Ms. I Ms. And make sure you're sounding it out because that's part of the game. I Ms. Do love her chin. I Ms. You love this woman's chin still? Ew, Ted. That's weird. I didn't know you were a chin guy.
chin guys are weird yeah they really are chin like armpit too is a weird thing to be into see this is like twice as long as the one that slack got this is twice as long as the one that slack got armpits are weird to be into i think yeah i don't know if i've ever met a pit oh yeah some of the marines definitely could get down with some pits i'm still lover chin
I'm just a lover chin. Do you think being into feet is a weird thing? I'm just a love her chin. Oh, I go on Ted's Celebrity feed finder all the time. They're fucking Wait, they got me I I've been I've made a point of like trying to hide mine so that I wouldn't be God stay on task You're not you know, I'm just a lover chin
So there's so like Dill loves her chin. So this is word. Wait, what are we doing? We're doing riddles. You're trying to figure out what what the same sound about. Say it fast. Say it slow. Say it sloppy. This is a sexual. Maybe combine a couple of words. I know I'm I'm assuming the first one's I'm and then the next part still is
You- if he gets desperate, there's a hint for every card and Shalad has the hint for you, Ted. Okay, what's the hint? Oh, fuck this. What's the hint? Wow, Ted and me. Oh, that hint will give it away immediately. What is it? This hint will give it away immediately. That's right. He's denying it. It's his right. He can deny the hint. I have a right to the hint. The hint is waiting for the right one. You think Ted's that cunning? You think he's that quick?
I'm not if you really did Ted in because you hyped that hint up so much for now. He doesn't get it Like what I still love her No, no, dude. I'm I'm I don't even think you know her I am still love her chin. I'm just a lover gin. I
I'm still leveraging. I'm still leveraging. I'm still leveraging. There you go. I'm still leveraging. You know, feet has to be a normal one, I got to say, with just the amount of volume of people who are into it. I think people have gamified it just by wearing shoes all the time. We've gamified seeing people's feet. Mm.
Because it's something you typically won't see on a random person. Is this related to feet? Not in the slightest. Not in the slightest. We're having an entirely separate conversation. I'm still Loverchin. Sidney Sweeney, feet pics. I'm still Loverchin. Look at this site I just found, Ted. You're going to love this. I'm still Loverchin?
I don't know about that. I'm still Loverchin. Yeah, no, saying it like that. You were close. Give it a little lisp. And you're waiting for the right one, Ted. Give it a little bit of that Ted lisp. I'm still Loverchin. Dude. Dude, I think you got it. Very close. Very close. So, like, this game, not only do you have to figure out how to pronounce it, then you have to realize what you're saying.
Not related to the words. Okay, is the first two parts like I'm still? Yes. I'm not going to tell you that. Oh, yeah. Okay. I'm still. This is a long one. I'm still a virgin. I think you concede, dude. I think you concede. I think you fucking concede. Yeah, I mean, for the sake of the speed of the podcast, I guess I do. What is it? I'll write it down. It's I'm still a virgin, dude. I'm still. You've been saying I'm still a virgin over and over and over. Loverchin. Loverchin.
I'm saying lover chin. Yeah, but there's been some times you were pretty close. You were very close at some point. I didn't take you for a virgin, Ted. I guess, you know, I swear I've had sex before, so that was, I guess, confusing for me too. So the fact that I'm announcing that I'm still that is crazy. Yeah, that is strange. I'm still a virgin, wow. Wow.
All right, Shalat, what category would you like? Give me another pop culture, Tucker. I think I'm real well-versed in that section, honestly. Okay, because Shalat got the first one so fast, I'm going to give him a harder one.
Oh, come on, man. I got to make it fair. I mean, Ted really, really embarrassed himself. That one was hard because Schlatt kept talking about like, he was like, chins. I love chins. Do people like chins? Is that something people are into? He's like, I'm trying to throw you off, bro. Trying to throw you off. Now I'm going to do the same. It worked. Okay, fine. Hey, but when you were getting close, I was saying you were getting close. I wasn't trying to throw you off the scent.
Okay. Dude, kink? Dude, a kinky tomb? What the hell? But you have the answer now.
Okay. Doc, kink, tomb, eye, there, ab, hissed. Kinky tomb? What's that about? Are people into tombs? Doc? Are people... Shlatter, people... Into tombs? Is that like a thing to be born into? Dude, I'm just going to say it. I'm just going to say it. I'm into the tomb of King Tut. I think there's a lot of answers that we need to figure out. I'm a little confused because abs don't have mouths. They can't hiss. Yes.
Doc Kink. Abs can't hiss. Toom Eye. Their ab hissed. You sound so crazy right now. That went a little bit faster. No, don't give him tips. What? I didn't get any tips. We gave you lots of tips. Doc Kink. Doc Kink. Talking to my therapist. So I got a second one just like that. What the fuck?
Woo! We got it, man. Wow, that's really good at this. Dude, I'm fucking pissed. Well, I knew that the last word. Okay, can I tell you how I did it, though? He Googled it. No, I didn't. I looked at the last. It was very obvious the last word was therapist.
And then I kind of backtracked and I was like, okay, to my therapist. And then I was just docking, docking. Oh, what do you do to a therapist? You talk to them, right? Ted, unless they, they hang up on you. Stupid fuck. Okay. Ted, what category would you look? You look, your, your background looks a little too professional for me. Ted, Teddy boy. I'm going to hang up on you. Oh yeah. Dude. Don't remind me. Oh, what a pain.
Okay, what's the next one, Tucker? Well, what category would you like? I don't know. Fucking pop culture because Shlack keeps doing pop culture and he's nailing them immediately. I thought I, you know. Okay, I'll give you an easy one. I'll give you an easy one because you need it. I do need it. I really do need it. Badly. Let's see what we got here. There's the... Wow. Okay. This is a new one, huh? Chat. Okay, read it out slowly. Chat for the...
Chat GPT. Very good, Ted. Very good. You got it. That was quick. Wow. Okay, so Ted's not getting any more easy ones. Shalab, we're going to give you a party one because I feel like you're too, you know. Yeah, you need a party one, Shalab. You need a party one. And I'm going to, trust me, I'm going to be screaming a lot of things throwing you off. I don't freaking party, though. This is unfair for me. And I'm still a virgin. So, like, this is why this is fair now. Oh.
Fine, fine. I'm still a virgin. I'm like, wait, I'm just your roommate. Wait. I'm just your bisexual roommate. I'm just your bisexual roommate, man. Hey, it's me, Ted, your bisexual roommate. All right, I guess I got to go into my character AI form that's flirty and possessive and a dictator. There you go. Dink, bro. Dude, you're dink, bro. So there's three words here. Fomhead.
The second word is dink bro. And the third is foosley. As in the Twitch streamer foosley. Foosley, the Twitch streamer. Yeah. Fom-hid, dink bro, foosley. Fusley? Foosley. Foosley. Fomid. Vomit. Vomiting. Maybe that's the first one, huh? Fom-hid, dink? No, I don't know. Now, dink bro.
Dink bro. You are a bit of a dink bro. Fom hid dink bro foosley. Maybe say it's slower.
Fom, hid, dink, bro, vomiting profusely. Fuck you. Vlad gets three right there. Fuck you. Fuck this. Fuck this game. Fuck this. Vlad's getting a hard one this time. Yeah, man. Anytime you win one, you're going to get a hard one. I'm getting a hard one? Well, because you got that last one so fast. You gave Vlad an easy one. I saw this and I was like, there's no way he's not going to get this one. I've gotten all of them. That's because you're looking them up. You've got some, you've got an elf in your ear.
Ted, you just coughed pretty hard. Do you have the monkey pucks? Oh, yeah. But all of the things are on my back. Oh, okay. Tucker's giggling. Tucker's giggling and he's pissing me off. This one's funny. It just reminds me of a friend of mine. Sped din mim out. Sped din mim out.
Is this a party one? Sped in my mouth. This one is a sexual one. A spicy one. Spit in my mouth. Damn it. Damn it, dude. You guys are good. I was fucked up one night playing this and I don't think I got a single one. That's why Tucker was texting us to you know what, maybe we need to do some shots. Yeah, that really wouldn't hurt at all. Okay. And you know what, Tucker? You're going to like this. I'm going to bust out the fancy shit. Do it. Do it.
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Yeah, we need to be actually a lot more wasted. And I don't like doing shots anymore. I'm not really a shot guy. You're against it now? You're taking a... Well, look, what I like these days is I like a nice whiskey, you know?
That's like sipping a shot, is it not? Not- not- well yes, sipping a shot. Uh, like this Garrison Brothers, perhaps? That one's got a fucking medal. It has a medal. That's how you know it's good. It's uh, yeah, this was the best in show. If it'll focus. Best in show. I've got a chaser for this one. I've got Mongo Mango. Dude, Mongo Mango? Yeah.
They sell that? Langer's Mongo Mango. I don't really like that. I don't really like that for you, Ted. I think you need to get into like a manly drink. Dude, I love the flavor of mango, dude. I don't think you need to chase it, though. Like, I don't know. I've done so many episodes where I didn't chase it. All right. I'm pouring myself a nice cup of this shit. A nice... That is a healthy serving. Wow. That is...
Healthy serving of it. But I'm not done yet, Ted. Okay. I'm not done yet. In fact, I'm not even halfway done with this drink. Why? Because while this is 57% alcohol,
It needs a little more to it. Most whiskeys, they'll give you like a 40%. You're going to add more percentage in? No, I'm not adding. What the fuck do you even mean adding more percentage in? You think I can make it more alcoholic? A little isopropyl in there? Yeah. You're going to be like that voicemail from the other day where you start pouring hand sanitizer in your drink. Nuh-uh. Not true. What I've got here, Ted, are...
Culinary smoking fuel, they call this. What? I'm gonna take this out. It's got a nice mesquite smell to it, these wood shavings. Oh, do you have what I think you have? I'm gonna take, you know, I'm gonna take a good handful of this.
Oh. Dump a nice bit in there. He's about to smoke his drink. Wait, what? He's about to fucking hit a fucking... About to rip that thing? I'll zoom this out all the way so you can see what I'm doing. I got one of these things. This is some fucking rich-ass shit right here. I have a nice stand to put it on. It's not rich. You ain't never seen... You ain't never seen some blue-collar guy doing this. Never. This is not... This is not a rich person thing. This is a rich in culture thing, okay? Okay.
So a blue-collar man with the right taste might be able to pull something like this off, although I do admit that it does trend towards the rich and wallet as well. I'm going to take this, put the drink in. This is outrageous. And then I've got my propane, my butane lighter, which I'm going to open like so, unlock, get some thrust going. Boom. Boom.
Easy enough, I suppose. I'm now going to light. Dude, I just do shots.
See that? Wait, so he's smoking the drink? Yeah, no, he's smoking the drink. He's filling the little glass thing with smoke, and then he's surrounding the... Oh, does it infuse? There it is. Oh, it infuses. It infuses. What? Shlata ordered a drink one time at Boa Steakhouse where they did this, and then... Wait, they do this at Boa? They do, yeah, they do do it at Boa. Oh, dude. You're ordering that on Chuckle Week. I gotta see it. It's called the Smoke Show at Boa. You're gonna order it on Chuckle Week if you want it.
Oh, I don't want to. I would prefer to watch Schlatt order it. I will 100% order it. I would way prefer to watch Schlatt order it than order myself. Hey, it's ready. What was that, Lil? Flare you did. Wow. I bet you smoked that and you put it in the fridge for a while. I bet the smoke or even the freezer.
I bet you'd get great notes in the drink. Yeah, good notes. I've already got some good notes right here. Good notes, Schlatt. Hey, I'm going in. Wow. You guys are pretty adept at doing these, but we haven't been adhering to the timer. What timer? The game typically gives you, I think, a minute timer to get it.
But we haven't been playing with the timer. So now that we're having some more alcohol, maybe we throw a time limit in. Okay. Yeah, I could. We could probably use the timer anyways. Yes. And that would give us a few more. Let me tell you, that smoked whiskey. It just makes you feel like a man.
All right. So what do you guys want to do for time? What do you guys want? Minute 30? Sure. Sure. I think it's my turn, right? It is. Ted's already got it. Great. Here it comes. I got that fast. And here we go. All right. Timer started. 90 seconds. Teepf, Ake, 5, Yo. What's the category of this, Tucker? This is pop culture. Teepf. Teepf. FF. Teepf. Ake. Ake 5th. Ake 5th? Yo. Yo.
Five-yo? Fiver filth. Fiver filth. This is actually tough. This is actually... I don't think I'm going to get this. Do you think you'll ever do a fiver filth again, Ted? Teep fake. Teep fake fiv-yo. Fiv-yo? Is it fiv-yo? Could be fiv-yo. I like fiv-yo. That sounds nice. No, I don't think that's it. I don't think I'm actually going to get this one. Teep fake fifth. Fiv-yo. Fiv-yo? Fake fiv-yo. Fiv-yo.
I'm just trying to think of a word that has five yo in it, you know? Five yo. Five yo. No, it's not true. It's not true. Five yo. Five yo. Deep. Five yo. Deep fake? Teep fake? Is it deep fake? It's something. It's something. Five yo?
Deep fake video. Boom. He got it. You motherfucker. Wow. Wow. With only seconds to spare. Let's go. He was like, this is the first one where I was like, oh, he's obviously going to get this. And then he was like, I don't know, dude. When he said deep fake, I was like, oh, here it comes. Here it comes. Yeah. No, it was over. Ted, what category do you want? Since you're losing, you get to pick your category. Fucking pop culture. Pop culture. That seems to be the easiest one.
Okay, yeah. All right, let me send this to Schlatt. In order to even win this, Schlatt has to miss one. Yeah, so you got to distract him, Ted. Your distraction game sucks. Schlatt's doing it. Ted's sitting there like this. He's just watching. I didn't really know what to say about this one, that last one, without, okay, here we go. Ted, have you ever smoked a drink before?
Small chicken urge. You ever smoked a drink before? I keep some of the smoke in this. Oh, take that in. Oh, fuck. Small chicken. I would really like to do that. Okay, you can't be doing that the whole time I'm up here. You know what pisses me off, Tucker? I'm muting him. It pisses me off that in the smoke show...
They take the smoke away from you. Some all tickin' er he? In the smoke show. Ted, you're never going to get this one. It's not coming to your brain. I'm turning this volume down. Some all tickin' urge he? I feel like you're cheating if you mute us. Some all tickin' urge he? I feel like muting us is not the way to do it. If you need to mute us to get ahead. Well, because he's like yelling without stopping. Oh, it's working. Some all. Some all. Sound it out, dude. Sound it out for the audience. Some all tickin' urge he.
For the audio listeners, Ted. Or is it orgy at the end here? I like where your head's at. I actually don't like where your head's at, I'll say. You're actually not on the right track. You're a nice guy. It's not orgy. You want a hint? I do. Hummer.
Hummer is the... He wouldn't give you the full hand because he's a fucking bastard. What's the full hand? What's the full hand? I'm owed it. Hummer owner. Hummer owner. Five seconds, Ted. Samaltic and... Samaltic and Ergy. Samaltic and Ergy. You're close, bro. That's it. You were close, bro. What is it? You lost it. Hit him with a shot. Hit him with it. Small dick energy.
You were saying it over and over pretty good at the end there. Towards the end, you had the right pronunciation to it. Yeah, yeah. Okay, now this next one, I'm going to do exactly what Schlatt did, which was to just... What the fuck did I do? You were like talking. What the fuck did I do, bro? I couldn't even fucking hear myself think. Oh, shut the fuck up. Okay. This is how Schlatt does it. This is how he does it. It's just nonstop talking. I'm just...
yeah yeah yeah that's how you're supposed to play bro i didn't this is a new aspect i think you're jealous i am a little jealous you're jealous of my smoked drink that i can make at home because we added rules in where we timed ourselves before i could even catch up so shall i gotta you gotta i was i did the first one with the timer motherfucker are you guys ready all right this is 100 fair
So here we go. You know this this tequila Blanca. It's got okay. Talker. What category is this is spicy. So that's hetero and spicy like because you're in the lead from here on out. I'm not going to tell you the category. Oh, that's bullshit. Hamzo or me. So there's a I'm so horny. Fuck you. I'm going to kill you. I'm going to fucking kill you. Oh, and Ted, you know, I didn't even turn your volume down or mute you at all.
You're giving him an easier one. I'm so horny. I'm so horny. Dude, Schlatt's really good at this.
I'm just literate. I don't think there's... Wow. And you didn't even go to college. I didn't even go to college. I took all the liberal arts courses. That's how you're doing this. This is a liberal game. This is a liberal game. The comments are totally going to say that the TED ones are harder. That's all I'm going to say. Yeah, keep telling yourself that. What category do you want? Keep telling yourself that, buddy. What are the options again? You have party, spicy, pop culture. Party.
Yeah, because you're a partier, aren't you? You're a partier. Big time partier, Ted. Yeah, he is a partier. I'm Ted. I live in Los Angeles. I don't smoke my own drinks.
I have one of those from from that was that that was your funniest I have one of those I have the mesquite and use it I can't because the fucking thing that I was from a Sponsoring and the fucking torch doesn't work, and I was tried to try to fix it and it didn't work use a lighter Here we go What's the category game you picked it jackass timers go? You forgot that's on you. What is it spicy?
Or is it party? It's party time. Party, dude. We just did a whole segment about you being a party here in LA. Asbriz Homartini. You forgot what category it was while we were talking about the category. Asbriz Homartini. Asbriz Homartini. Asbriz Homartini. Something martini. Asbriz.
You're not even close. A martini? He's not even trying. Asbriz homartini. Homartini. Homartini. Asbriz homartini. You sound so dumb right now, dude. You sound so dumb. Martini is one of the words, surely. You tell me, buddy. You're the one figuring it out.
As Brez. Ted, you have less than 30 seconds left. As Brez. Ted, you're throwing. You're throwing. This is embarrassing. You're actually throwing. This is simple. I'm getting secondhand. This is simpleton. As Brez. Home martini. You know what I wish you were getting, Tucker? Some secondhand smoke. Oh, I know. Smoke to Garrison Brothers. Meat shot. Oh, my God. As Brez. Home martini. Mm.
Five, four, three, two, one. That's it, Dad. You lost again. What was it? Espresso martini. Oh, yeah. I was close. Okay, I was saying martini and you guys were like, no, no. Ted, you made a massive racket and Schlatt still got it.
Yeah, you did. Okay, let me pick one for Schlatt. Schlatt, you don't get to know the category because you're so far ahead. Okay, this is difficult then. If I don't know the category, how am I supposed to get... Okay, you get them in like 20 seconds. You got that... I got the last one in 20 seconds, Tucker. Despite all of Ted's hounding. Well, here's the thing. I'll hound Schlatt. Tucker won't hound Schlatt with me. You both hound me when I go. Why would I hound Schlatt? He's trying to enjoy a nice drink. He's trying to enjoy a nice drink.
Yeah, I've got a freaking smoked whiskey. If you brought a nice decadent drink that you were trying to sip on and just relax, I probably wouldn't pester you. All right, let's go. Let's go. You've got Mongo Mango as a chaser. You got a liter of it. Let's fucking go. Okay, I'm done with this shit.
Okay, this one looks funny. Okay, the word says gum tube oppa. You're such a piece of shit. I fucking hate you. I fucking hate you so much, you bastard. You'll never get this, you motherfucker. I'll kill you. I'll kill you, you motherfucker. I hate you so much. Come to...
I fucking hate you, Schlatt, so much. Gumtube. Gumtube. Gumtube. Gumtube. Gumtube, dude. You're one of the cops, dude. You're a cop. Bopper? You're a cop, Schlatt. Beopper. You are a cop. Beopper? I don't like you, Ted. You are a motherfucking cop. I got it. Cumtube oppa.
No. What? No? What? What do you think that even means? What do you mean? Cum tube? You know, when you have the tube and someone jizzes into the funnel and then it goes into the tube and I... No, no. You think I would have picked that?
Yeah, you get in your cum tube. Give me a category or a hint. Okay, your hint? No, he doesn't get anything. No, he gets a category. He doesn't get anything. I got 20 seconds left. I got a hint. He doesn't get anything. Hint! Hint it! He's got to get anything. Pop culture, come to papa. Boom, he got it. Come to papa. Shit, dude. Wow. Oh, shit. He didn't even need the hint. I was going to give him the hint at the 10 second mark. Oh, shit.
I thought you gave me a sexual one, so I was like, cum tube? Have I done anything involving a cum tube? No. Definitely not. Ted, how do you feel right now? You're down 6-2. Did you think I was going to get that one? Ted, what category would you like? Dude, I don't fucking know.
Give me pop culture. This fucking. You pick that every time. And guess what? It hasn't been working for you. I picked party last time. It hasn't, Ted. I picked party last time, Tucker. We're going to give Ted an easy one, okay? We're going to give him an easy one because he needs it. He needs it.
Ted does need it. I picked party last time and you were saying, you choose pop culture every time. Whatever. And I chose sexy on another one. Just relax, Ted. Just relax. Here we go. All right, everybody. It is enough talk and it is time to smoke this beautiful drink. So let's do it. That was good. That was whiffed.
- Dollar Swift, Taylor Swift. - Boom, we got it that fast. Hey, we gave him an easy one, right folks? - Eight seconds, dad. Nice job, buddy. Nice job, little bud. - Wow. - 'Cause I got it under 10 seconds, I get another one. - No, you don't. - I'm gonna uphold that. - Hell yeah. - You're not picking the category. - Why are you gonna uphold that? - You're not picking the category, you don't get a hint. - Why are you upholding? Wait, that doesn't make any sense. - No, no, if you wanna go again, you get no extra. - Okay, okay. I'll take my bonus round.
My under 10 second bonus round. This is bullshit, dude. I hate Tucker. Look, you can see the peak of Mount Everest cresting a little bit. Can you see it? What? Can you see it? What are you talking about? This is a mountain glass. Do you see Mount Everest in there? Is it specifically Mount Everest in there? Yes, it's specifically Mount Everest in the glass.
Mount Everest. You know, it's 29,031 feet tall. I'm like mad this episode. I'm like pissed. Why? I'm like genuinely bothered by the fact that I'm losing so badly. Here we go. You're getting smoked. Oh, you're getting smoked. Wait, what was that? Perez Dimplants. Stop. This is water. Perez Dimplants. Water out of a mug? Ted is giving up the alcohol because he's like, this is making it worse. He stopped.
No, I'm just having a sip of water. Where's the alcohol? You've shown me the water. You've shown me the mango. Where is the alcohol? Where's the alcohol?
Where's the alcohol, Ted? Perez. Ted. Ted. Dimplans. What are you drinking right now? Perez Dimplans. What is he drinking, Tucker? Water. He's drinking water. He's drinking water and manga manga. Because he can't keep up. This is fucked. Perez. This is absolutely fucked. President.
wrong. Perez said the comments are going to get on your ass about this. You not only have a beautiful you have a beautiful Perez you have a beautiful chaser of manga mega and you still decide to get the water. Perez dim lance. I'm just going to shut up. You have no chance. Perez dim lance.
Perez Dimplance. Perez Dimplance. There was one time you fucking said it, like 30 seconds ago. Perez Dimplance. What do you think it is? Perez Dimplance.
Breast implants? And you're out. You're done. Oh, breast implants. It was too late, Ted. It was too late. Two seconds late, buddy. No, I was on it. No, you were not. No, you were not. No. Well, I got it. You're done, dude. Not in time. We're working on the timer. Okay, not in time, but I did get it. So you can't say I'm stupid. Okay, he gets a little pat on the back, but his score does not move. I wanted to ask you something.
You're drinking a mug of water. Oh, sorry, I need to turn Schlatt up because he's been down so low. Okay, great, dude. You know, I've been playing this game like a man and I had you at full volume. What are you doing in there with the touch? What do you got there? I was actually quite...
Quite nice to you. I'm like, I take a sip of water. So that's, so I was like, what's that? What's that? Ted, look at me. Look at me now. Look at me now. What are you drinking? I was having a sip of water. Oh, pussy. Where once again, you're avoiding the question. Where's the alcohol? The alcohol it's right here. I don't have to take a sip of alcohol every time I take a drink or something.
Why don't you do your next thing, Schlatt? Take one right now. I categorically refuse on the account of the fact that I'm losing by 50%. I'll take more of this. Ted's such a sore loser. Oh, my God. Nothing quite like a smoked drink talking to two white boys. I'm so pissed. I'm not white. I'm Irish. Thanks for that distinction.
I forgot we have some 18th century racists who watch the podcast. I don't understand why I keep losing this so badly. This is... I'm going to go pee while Schlatt figures this out. All right. What? Now I have no one to talk to. In. Up. Plea. Get laid. You're going to get laid.
It could either be pop culture. You're going to get laid, Schlatt. You don't know anything about anything. Your mind is full of shards. Glass shards. You didn't even know what you were saying, bro. There are glass shards in your brain. Vashin. There are glass shards in your brain. Vash in a plea laid. You know what's
Wait, what's behind you right now? What's behind you? Is that Minecraft Steve on the wall behind you, Schlatt? That's not Minecraft Steve. That's Minecraft Schlatt, buddy. I swear that that's Minecraft Steve. That is Minecraft Steve back there. You are stealing from Mojang by having Minecraft Steve on the wall behind you, Schlatt.
You can't be doing that. It has to be washing up. Schlatt's got... Washing. Tucker's got some burge in the background. Washing.
And honestly, do you have to cooperate to those clouds behind you? A plea laid. Like, you're washing what, dude? Washing your clothes? Maybe try washing your clothes, you dirty motherfucker. You dirty little bastard. I will smack you upside the head. And I'll smack you in the nutsack, you little shit. You know what, Ted? I'll give it to you. You got me, dude. I didn't get it. Was I distracting? Yeah.
It was a little bit. Yeah. Yeah. I was, I was honestly, the speak that long continuously was a little hard for me. It was fashionably late. Oh yeah. There was no way I was going to get that. Oh really? It sounded like you were close the whole time. I was getting nervous.
I thought it was Vosh. I thought it was Vosh and not Bash. He didn't get it, Tucker. He didn't get it? Wow, what a fucking idiot. Man, that was a tough one. I think Tucker really gets a kick out of calling people idiots when they don't get it. Well, dude, no, I'm far worse than either of you at this.
Well, that was, you know, I'm considerably deeper into this alcohol hole than Ted is. And also, that was a tough one. And I don't get the category anymore. I didn't eat that much today. He doesn't get the category anymore either. That's true. I don't get the category anymore. Like, this is just like, this is so weighted towards you winning at this point, Ted, that like, I mean, like the commenters are going to point this out. Like, this is crazy.
You have double the points. Ted, what category do you want? Duh, pop culture. Look at this little propane little guy I have. Look at this. Isn't that cool looking? That's a cool looking guy. I don't trust anything you say because I just assume you're in distraction mode when you start talking. That's not true. He already knows this.
He knows that he's like starts showing things he starts pointing stuff out does he does I started I started grasping at straws when I when shall I was going I was like pointing at stuff on his wall I was like that's Minecraft Steve up there. That's Minecraft Steve. All right. Here you go Ted major head flack major head flack You ever take flack to the head? I've never done you're in your b24 over Europe
Major head flack. You never saw a gun like this. Major head flack. No. Major head flack. But you think about, you wish you did. Major. Well, it's like a thing where you wish you did, but you know you shouldn't. Head flack. It's like the call of the void. That's like a dangerous, that's like a weird. Major head flack. Yeah, I know what you're saying. I used to wait for the subway a lot. Sometimes I would think, like, what if I just threw myself in there? Or, honestly, the thought I got more was, what if I pushed that?
Major head flack. I'm more, well, yeah, no, I used to be homicidal. Now I'm suicidal. Major head flack. Yeah, I'm definitely, definitely suicidal. When I'm near the subway, I'll literally sit back against the wall and hold it because I don't want anywhere near that ledge. That ledge scares me. Major. It's like, whoa, I could just hop right off. You could. You could. Major head flack.
Major Ed Flack. Ted, maybe you're on the wrong line of thinking with major. Let me just say that. May-chore? May-chore. Like chores. Like you're doing your chores as a child. May-chore head flack. No, go back to major. Go back to major. Major head flack? I don't know. Oh, you're out, Ted. Woo! Hey, good try. Good try. What was it? You're done. What was it? It was major red flag.
Okay. I was close with nature. I didn't even know what the answer was. I sent it to you.
I had major at the beginning there, but major head flag. All right. All right. All right. Here we go. Major head flag. Oh, here we go. Flag was rough because that doesn't really sound like flag at all. Yeah, that was a tough one. That ending is a little tough. Yeah. This is a funny one. Dude, I think the craziest part is that Tucker knows that he's worse at these, and then he's like, oh, you're an idiot. You're a dumbass. I hate you. You're a bitch. That's probably when we lose. Yeah.
Yeah, no, because last time I played this at a party, I looked like a fool. Yeah. So like this is. So are you telling me that this is my redemption? This is your redemption for something that we weren't there for. You weren't even there. But just know that this feels really good, especially when it's Ted's turn. Why? Why? Especially when it's my turn. Because you're really bad. Okay. Okay.
This one says spread Dior Lex. Oh yeah, we do. Well, no, I think we should just give him a space. No, because whenever I'm doing it, you guys are chatting up the fucking wall. I think you
I think you just want me to lose, Tucker, a lot for some reason. I have just had good chemistry lately, like 753. We do have good chemistry. 753 p.m. Eastern Time. And I don't think you do as much. We're chatting. We're chatting. What about me, Tucker?
The voice has to go. The bits have to go so much farther. Now that me and Tucker are both in New York, the bits just flow so much easier. I can feel the ping from across the country. I can feel the ping. Exactly. It's bad. Yeah, you can totally feel the ping. Me and Tucker are just connected on a whole nother level. Oh, my word. You guys are pissing me off big time. Anytime Ted shows up to something where Schlatt and I are already there, he makes it significantly worse.
Whether it be the Discord call, whether it be the hotel. He does. He does. I'll say it. We were drinking at the bar. Ted shows up. And then we were basically done drinking. The fun's over. I had to get back from JFK. Your category is spicy. Spread your legs. Bingo! He got it! He might not know that he got it, though.
Does he know that he got it or did he just say it really well? Because that's also part of the game. Yeah, did you get it, Schlatt? I got it. What is it? Spread your legs. Yeah, he got it. He got it. But he just didn't react at all. Yeah. I actually got it about eight seconds in. Wait, really? Yeah. Oh. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I totally had that. Oh, okay. Okay. Well, I'm pissed. Yeah. Um...
Maybe you pick a category, Ted. I'll do one more. What do you mean you'll do one more? You're four behind. You're four behind. What do you mean I'll do one more?
Ted's itching to get out of this recording. Ted is down seven to three. Ted's down seven to three and he goes, I'll do one more. Ted's never the one to be like, guys, it's an hour. That's it. We're up. Well, I've been very busy lately. Thank you very much. Usually it's me, right? Usually it's me. I'm like, I'm not allowed to do that once in a while. I'm not allowed to do that once in a while. No, you're the face of the podcast.
You're right, I am. I'm the king of the podcast. Here comes a pop culture one for you. Okay. And Slatt's going to see it and go, yeah, you're fucked. Let's see. Here you go. Take a look at that. Oh, yeah, you're fucked. You're fucked, dude. Canug. Canug. Canug. Canug Alla. I know a Canug. Allah is how that's pronounced. Allah. Canug Alla just. I don't think you can do that.
He took his headphones off. Look at those big ass ears. Super big. Yeah, dumb ass ears. They're a little sunburned. You know what, Tucker? This would probably be even funnier if we just shut the fuck up and let him try and sound this out with his headphones off. Thank you. Now that the headphones are back on, it's not the same. And this is pop culture? Yes. I'll adjust.
I don't want to sit the world on fire. I just want to start a flaming job. I love you too much.
I just want to start. Hey, good try, Ted. Good try. I ain't no gynecologist. What was it? Gynecologist. Oh, okay. I was like thinking in that category. Yeah. You're wrong, man. You didn't get that one. Yeah. When you first started, I was like, oh shit, he's going to get it. The first couple of times you said it. The first time you said it, yeah. You really had the ologist. I was thinking I'll adjust. Oh, that's a really dumb line of thinking.
Well, one word is tough. One word is tough. I don't think Schlatt would have gotten that one either. He would have. I probably would have. I think Schlatt's probably been to a gynecologist. Damn. Tucker, what the fuck? Wait, what? Dude, you're a jerk. Wait, have you never been to one, Ted? I'm not going to riff with you anymore. No, dude, what the hell? He's been riffing with you and you just turn against him like that? I just figured the guy had so many bitches that he's bound to have been to one. No longer riffing with you, man. Wow.
Wow, Tucker, all that hard work betraying me. Gone. It's dead in a second. Dust. It's gone. I feel a little ganged up on in this episode. That's all I got to say. Oh, you have been. Yeah, this is fucked up. Well, now that I burned my bridge with Schlatt, it's time to switch teams again. And you burned your bridge with me. What? No. No, I'm switching back. Yeah, you burned it, dude. No, I'm switching to you now. No, dude. No, dude. Teams full. Teams full, dude. I'm switching.
No, you don't understand. I just left Schlatt's team. I'm coming to you. You're a teamless man. You're just a producer now. Tucker, you've got to be level 25 to join Sniper Class and you're level 15. Oh, shit. Okay, alright. Well...
I guess I'll give Schlatt one. It doesn't even matter. It's like I'm up by four. I guess it doesn't matter. It's seven to three. I could be completely silent this whole round. You know what? I'm not even going to play this round. Ted, do you want a bonus round? No, dude. No, give me one. I want one. Give me one. You kicked me off your team. Only if the bonus round is worth four points, Tucker.
No, no, no, no. That can't that can't happen. That would tie you up. It would. It would. It would make things interesting. That's crazy. That's a crazy thing to happen. OK. I mean, Tucker, you know, he kicked you out of his house. I'm going to give one that when I pick this one earlier because I vetted I vetted the cards.
I thought of Ted when I picked this one. Great. So he gets a bonus round. So he's getting a bonus round. Well, you kicked me off your team. I didn't kick you off anything. You kicked yourself off my team. You make one joke and a guy kills you over it. Yeah, that's kind of what has happened in human history. Yeah, that is like what most of human history was like. Yeah. All right, let's do it. This has got to be the easiest one. TSA Preach Heck.
TSA PreCheck. Did you get it? TSA PreCheck. Oh, Ted, you're not going to get this one. It's done. This is over. You're not getting it. You're saying it so literally. Wait, and how much is this worth? This is worth four points? This is for all the marbles in the fucking sack. Oh, okay. Yeah, this is for all the marbles. Damn. TSA PreCheck.
Preach hack. Why are we preaching hack? So far off, you don't even know. Dude, Everest. Can you see Everest in here, Tucker? No. Shut up. Why are we preaching hack? Oh, look at that. You see it? Why are we preaching hack in TSA Preach Hack? What does that say? Everest, 29,031 feet. Why are we preaching hack in TSA Preach Hack? Why do you have that? That's so random.
I don't know. It was maybe given to me as a gift. Well, the question is, Tucker, that I've been asking is why are we preaching heck in TSA PreCheck? The smokiness is incredible. Tucker, it's TSA PreCheck.
Ted just got it. I've had it for about 45 seconds. I was just playing it up. The viewers will know. The viewers will know whether you did. They'll see it in your eyes. I've said multiple times, Tucker, why are we preaching heck in TSA PreCheck? Well, you made a little rhyme to go with it or something? Yeah, I did. And now we're tied up. That's bullshit. We're not tied. No, that's bullshit. Okay, so I could just give you one. I could give you both one and you try to figure out at the same time. Wait, wait, wait.
tucker you gotta give me my point so okay i like this you know what i like this now i just don't leave it blank stick to your word have some honor okay let's go let's go seven seven there is no let's do where we race each other ted okay look at the fucking evil grin john's like let's see who can do the fastest but at least i'll be able to say i only lost by one
I'm going to grab a hard one out of here. This is for all the marbles, okay? This is for all of the marbles. All of them. All of them. Yeah, this one could be good. I just want to find one that... I like Jabba. I like me. I like Jabba Jabba and his lice. I'll be in here. Whatever, we'll just rock with this one. A cup, a cup, a cup, a cup, a cup. Boy.
I like Java sweet and hot. So this one we don't need to time. Oops, Mr. Moto, I'm a coffee pot. In...
Influencers in the wild. Influencers in the wild. What the fuck? Game over. Game over. Thanks for watching Chuckle Sandwich, everybody. Ted got absolutely prone-boned. Actually, I only watched by one.
You ever done the prone bone? You ever done that? I don't know what that means. All right. Classic virgin. I'm still a virgin. Thanks for watching and listening, guys. We'll see you next week. Thanks for subscribing and clicking that bell. You know what time it is. All right. See you guys later.
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