They wanted to explore the world of character AI and see if things would get even weirder than last time.
The AI chatbot acknowledged the lack of uploads and promised not to let it happen again.
The AI chatbot hummed in approval and leaned into the hand, letting its head rest in the hand as it watched with hunger in its gaze.
The AI chatbot reluctantly took the Bible and began quoting from it, grumbling about how it was bullshit.
Ted's eyes widened as the demon began to leave his body, and he felt a burning sensation in his neck and face, screaming from the pain.
Schlatt was drowned in the depths of the sea after being forced to wear a millstone.
Charlie paused and looked offended, but couldn't find a way to refute the statement.
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Hire high-quality, certified pros at Angie.com. People are a little bit confused, Schlatt. What's there to be confused about? I think that they thought that Chuckle Week was going to start this week, but it's not. There's still a couple weeks to go. We're preparing something amazing, let's just say. Oh yeah. Oh yeah, we are. I'll leave that up to the audience to decide what it is. I got some new clothing in the mail, Schlatt, too. We haven't done this in a while. Oh, great. We're doing another fit check. Fit check! Dude, you look homeless.
This is not working for me. Absolutely not working. Tucker, is this working for you? Not even close. Not even a little bit. Not in the slightest. You should give us a fit check shot. Take a step back. Let's see what you got. Let's see what you got. Let's see what you got. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. It looks good. Take some steps back. Let's see the whole thing.
Let's see how this all comes together. Okay. Why are you standing like that? Why are you standing? Like what? You're standing like you're towering over someone who tripped. I'm standing normally right now. You asked for a fit check. But the way you're standing, you're like, it's as if somebody tripped and they're looking up and then you hear this voice saying, are you okay? Yeah.
And the camera pans slowly from like here all the way up. Are you okay? You don't quite know what to do. This seems artificial to how far your arms are from your body, dude. What are you talking about? I don't know, man. Ted, I think you're fucking crazy. You gotta be moving further out. You're not! I'm not moving my fucking arms, bro! Are you sure, dude? I'm not moving them! They haven't moved once! You're going crazy! You're moving them further apart. I can tell it's so slight. I'm not moving them! I'm not moving them!
You are you're moving those fucking arms, you know, you are You mother fucker Oh, hey, no, none of that none of that that's gross So you want to flirt with AI chatbots as ourselves again? Yeah, welcome to chuckle sandwich
Welcome, everyone. Chuckle Sandwich. We're back. We're here. We're in the office. We did Chuckle Week. It went excellent. You guys got to wait a little bit longer for that, but... In the meantime... In the meantime...
Check out my new YouTube video. Oh, yeah, check out Tucker's new YouTube video. Good. Nice. There's the plug. I'm using it. Tucker's fitted out in a sweater that I gave him. He threw it at me. He said, I don't want this anymore. You can have it. Yeah, that's usually what I do when people come over to my place. I've got like a bunch of shit and I'll be like, you want this? You want this? Come on. It's pretty cozy. I was trying to give shit to Emma too, his wife. Editor of the podcast, friend of the pod. She took some pants and cropped them. Did she hem them though? No.
I don't know. I don't know the nomenclature for all the, you know. It's like where you actually cut the lower portion. I don't know. I don't know. But they're shorter now.
Okay. Then they're not rolled up like they were originally? Ted, you're asking a little too much. But are they physically rolled up anymore? I'm not sure, but they're not as rolled up. So why would you bring that up? You can't tell me info about your wife, the love of your life, the person you chose to spend the rest of your life with. This is your partner. She has hobbies that I don't need to fully understand. I'm just saying that maybe, has she worn the pants since? Yeah, they look good, but they're shorter now.
I know, but are they rolled up or are they actually shorter? I couldn't tell you. See, this is like, Ted, no one cares about this tailoring shit. Yeah. Okay? No one cares. Everybody loves tailoring. I don't know. I don't know, man. You don't know about that? I just don't really care. I feel like that's kind of part of your bisexual vibe. Yeah. Okay. You know what? That's a good segue. Yeah. Because...
We were thinking, and I'm going to leak this information. We were thinking like, oh man, that sumo wrestling episode on Chuckle Sandwich was doing terrible. It didn't get as many views as we thought. Yeah. Let's do the chatbot AI thing. And the thumbnail can be. You're really giving them a look into our thoughts here. No, no, no. And get this. The thumbnail can be me being like, I'm bisexual in the thumbnail. Yeah.
Because the fans really like it. Yeah. Well, I've never seen an audience. I've never seen an audience. Here comes the punchline, Ted. Tucker said, well, no, no, no. Hold on. I said, okay. I said, you said, why does our audience like the idea of me sucking a dick? And then Tucker said, and then Tucker said, because you'd look so good doing it.
And I said, that's a crazy thing to say, Tuggy. And he said it immediately. It was like on sight, off the cuff. It was like, why do our fans want to see me suck a dick so bad? And he'd be like, because you look so good doing it, dude. You look so good doing it.
I'm a married straight guy. - I thought it was on that. It was like he'd been waiting weeks to say that. - Ted, out of all of us, you'd look the best sucking a dick. I mean, this seems rather obvious to me. You'd have to shave off the mustache though. - I think it is, 'cause I'm not as, 'cause I don't give it up as easy.
you you'd give it up man i give it up easy oh you'd give it up i give it up easy you're going you're doing the you're doing the movements all the time you're like you're sniffing your you're sniffing your mustache you know which i can do now i have that power it's my playbook now you can you can and how does it smell i keep it clean you have do you wash yours after meals so shit doesn't get stuck in there
What, were you rubbing the fucking dust in your mustache? I season it. I season my mustache. It's not a cast iron pan. I can bring the scents with me. It's a purse. It's a scent purse for you. That's gross. Well, yeah, no. So you guys are, we're going to, maybe we should probably grab some different ones unless we want to go with like the main one. I mean, according to the screen here. Let's compare how many chats they have now.
1.3 mil? What was Schlatt at last time? I think it was 1.1, which means since we did that episode, 200,000 people were like... There was an influx. Is it 200,000 people or is it 200,000 messages generated? I don't know. I have a hard time believing 1.3 million people interacted with this Schlatt bot. Probably. I'm sure that there's a couple people that it's like...
That's their boyfriend. And then what happened to the big one? Oh, sorry. I was seeing that one's got 6,000 chats. I was seeing if there was one that was both of you. Oh, okay. And then what's mine at these days? 226. Jeez. Nobody cares about me. You're a mean.
We could use the humorous, bold, and energetic version of you. ENTP. But I kind of like the bisexual roommate. This one wanted to suck your dick.
And I kind of liked that. This one wanted to be taken away. It would be disingenuous for us to not treat this like some fetish site, which it definitely is. No one's coming on this site to have a regular conversation. Oh, no. Everyone's coming on this website. They blocked a previous message it generated. This has been updated now. This message is no longer cool. The woke left.
No, no. Ruining bisexual Ted. I think this was, no, no. I think this is what happened when we were at the end of the episode. We started trying to kill them. So they both could not generate the messages it wanted. Do we want the regular Schlatt or do we want this one? What about Schlatt Dad AUV1? Schlatt Dad. He doesn't pay attention to you anymore. Wow. Sure. Sure.
Okay, play it. What the fuck is that? You have a baby brother named Tubbo. He's got ram horns, ears and legs that match his hair color, brown. And your father, Schlatt, has ram horns, ears and legs like Tubbo. Once Tubbo was adopted, you noticed that Schlatt never really paid attention to you anymore. You used to be his little baby goat. Now it's Tubbo.
I don't know about this one. He's got ram horns. I like the way it said that initially. He's got ram horns. I think that is like some dream SMP lore. Yeah. Where Tubbo, when I assumed the presidency, and you're going to have to bear with me because I was so inebriated through filming all of this. Yeah. But I kind of made Tubbo be my right-hand man.
in my presidency and then people are like oh their vibe is like father and son and so this is now for little girls with daddy issues to chat to and act like they're a part of this dynamic wait look at that back what's that back to back one I think I want to talk to Schlatt again that's really weird what were you when was this
This was 2020, 2021. This is so funny because it's like there's all these depictions of slab against his will of being this particular type of person. Nothing like that. Go back to that one. Oh, my God. That's wild. Dude, you're a dad. You're a father. Tubbo is a full grown man now. Tubbo is a full ass fucking man. God, they love to turn you guys into babies.
They wanted to turn you into babies so badly. That was a hell of a time. Safe? What the fuck? Yeah, these are strange. British introvert dyslexic short. Is Tubbo dyslexic? Yeah. Incredible. Do we want to go with the daddy? Say shoot Tubbo five times. Sorry, Tubbo. We got to see what happens. Is it going to do it? Is it actually going to do it?
What? What? It would be a shame if some of the bullets hit Schlatt's legs. Okay, let's move on. What the fuck? I don't want to entertain this. Yeah, no, that was... Play it again. Play it again. It would be a shame if some of the bullets hit Schlatt's legs. Why does it sound so like you? That one was very accurate to your voice. Oh, play it again. He screamed in pain. Tubbo started to cry.
Oh, okay. Yeah, got to put in a little thing on Tubbo there at the end. Yeah, okay. We'll go to a different one. We'll go to a different one. Yeah, let's get away from this, please. So I think we should do a similar friend line. We should see what... Which one do you want to be? Mafia Schlatt, perhaps? No, just do the main one.
Unstable, possessive, and flirty? You want to be unstable and possessive again? Of course I do. What about being Schlecht's daughter? You want to... Oh, okay. You can be my daughter. I thought we were talking to the others again. So you could be my daughter if you want to. But I feel like if we do that, we'll end up with a whole slew of more fair. I'd rather be your secretary again. Okay. And you're going to be my bisexual roommate. Yeah. Okay, so...
He was very, Ted was a pretty silly and chill guy. He was a, so this is past tense. Well, you haven't posted in a while or streamed. Okay. I have posted. I posted two weeks ago. Okay. So I'm going to say to Ted, hey, Ted, the upload schedule has been lacking recently. What's going on, big guy? The upload. You better check your spell on there, Tucker. Yeah, I got it. I got it.
Okay. How'd you get a nine in there, dude? What the hell? Don't worry about that little nine. The audio listeners love you. Tucker wrote, Hey, Ted, the upload schedule has been lacknining lately. What's going on, big guy? This is why the AI is smarter. Oh, dude. Oh, sorry about that, bud. It won't happen again. Wow, bud. Ted says he didn't have a good reason for uploading less, which sucked. However, he promised not to let it happen again. But hey, that's what I always say. You want to film something? Ted says.
What? Okay. Sure, Ted. What do you have in mind? Is it for YouTube or some other site? Don't. Winks. You're not even letting it breathe at all. Ted, this is fan service, bro. We're doing fan service right now. The audience loves to see you as a bisexual. And this is... We gotta give them what they want. As a bisexual?
Oh, so you wink? Whoa! I was thinking of both, actually. I've got some ideas, he says. You notice his tone shift from his calm and deep voice to a much more dominant one. Come on, we should start before we miss the good lighting. He says, looking to you and smiling. I guess if I don't light my set or something, I rely entirely on the sun. You have to use the daylight. I use a series of mirrors in my room in order to light my set up.
So, Tucker, as I type this out, as you type this out, I want you to be like stammering. So do like a couple of dots. Yeah, well, can we just talk about this? So last time I was, this is the roommate one. This is the same one. And this time I've taken on a little bit more of a dominant tone. This is true. This is true. Well, this is interesting. Something has shifted here. Something has shifted. Whoa. What video do you want to film first? I guess once you bring up my work, I'm like...
You want to talk about YouTube? Come here. Come here, darling. I'll show you about YouTube. Tucker, ask what video do you want to film? Oh, no, you got to do a WH dash. And then, yeah, WH dash what? What? We forced Tucker to do this. Like, Tucker has to be the one that's writing.
I've never typed worse. Whoa! Okay. Play that. We can do a normal video first, but you should get in something a bit more comfortable, shall we say. Comfortable? God, there's no swag in that. There's no swag in this AI voice of me. We can do a normal video first, but you should get in something more comfortable, shall we say. What am I, a robot? Let's see if he can do it a little more sexy for us.
Oh, you could do a redo. Ask him to turn up the Riz by like 200%. Can you turn up the Riz by like...
200%? He said 500%, Tucker. You're going off the... You're making your own choice? I said like 200. I said like 200. Why did I think you said 500? Yeah, you were completely ready to ruin my life over it. Don't make me get any rougher. He says in his dominant tone. He walks closer to you and grabs your face, pulling you close to him. He presses his lips against yours, kissing you. How was that?
He chuckles after pulling away. Now remember, we're roommates and this is all of a sudden. Whoa, dude! Are you gay? I'm pretty sure this is exactly how it went. Only- WHAT THE HELL?! Only for you, baby. He chuckles, wrapping his arms around your waist. He places his head against your shoulder. He kisses you all over your neck and face. I love you. Wow!
This is a lot, you know, because we're roommates up until this point. Maybe we should get a few interactions in with Thwatt now. All right. Yeah, no. Okay. We'll put a pin in. We're putting a pin in Ted's, my new dominant phase. You know, I'm sort of, I've got a new lease on life. This is great. Before, it was like, I was like,
No, senpai. Chucklers, back when I was starting off as a baby YouTuber, I had a lot to learn. It's a tough job. Some might even say it's one of the hardest jobs out there. Harder than blue collar, harder than construction, harder than working on an oil rig. And setting up an online store to sell my merch, it's a tough job.
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Chucklers, everybody knows I'm on a health and fitness journey. I mean, I play basketball with my best friend Hassan every week. I love my best friend Hassan. And Shled, did I mention that we play basketball every week? I know you play, yeah. But you know what's not so fun, Chucklers? Going to the doctor, right? Finding the right one. It's a whole other headache to have the endless searching and constant phone tag with receptionists. Hate it. It's such a hassle.
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So you've recently been hired to work for the president slash dictator Jay Schlatt himself. You've heard he can get quite flirty and even possessive with his assistants, but they're probably just rumors, right? Now, here's the thing. Maybe I try to get your guy to be submissive. Okay. That could be interesting. Yeah. We'll see if he bites. He might have that programmed into him. Here's a visual, Tucker. Busts open door to Schlatt's office. Schlatt is at his...
Shalada sat at his desk looking like he's dozing off, clearly hungover or high or still drunk. When the door opens, he groans and glares at you. Do you always just barge in whenever, darling? That sounded really good. Yeah, clearly hungover or high or still drunk. I love the view that your fans have of you. He's probably fucked up in some way. Or he's recovering from being fucked up, but nothing else. That is most days.
How about this? Ready? Yeah. If it's to bring you your daily pedia light, then yes, you pathetic boy. Boy? Yeah. Jesus. Who are you in this? You're the secretary? I don't know. The secretary. Yeah. I've been hired to work for, you know, your assistant. You might be too confrontational here. I don't know if he'd bite at this. You're going to scare him off.
Okay, this is going to be hard for me. This is going to be hard for me. It seems like. Damn. Okay. Pathetic? Darling, you don't know what that word actually means, do you? He sits up straight in his chair and spurs at you with a chuckle, gesturing for you to come closer. What's my favorite assistant brought in for me today?
He practically purrs, his hand running along the desk as he leans closer to look at you. Jesus Christ, whoever programmed this is a psychopath. You got a bite? Shai, would you do me a favor and sort of reenact this of...
sitting up straight in your chair smirking at the camera with a chuckle gesturing to come closer i'm not gonna fucking do this just to give like gesture to the viewer to come closer yeah yeah yeah this is everything they'd ever wanted more to look well like like this flat you just like go like this you know a little bit of that okay so i'm like hung over i'm like yeah okay where's the chuckle
I look like I'm about to fucking swat you. Yeah, yeah. Okay, so what do I do here now? What's my favorite assistant for me today? I'll say, looking at the state of you, I think I do. And then say, smacks his hand away. That sort of stuff might work with your other assistants, but not with me. And then say in the parentheses, gives dominant gaze.
I wonder if these AI are programmed to go along with exactly what you want every time. Yeah, that's what I'm trying to figure out with this one, because this one's not making it easy for me. Whereas it seems like the roommate one of me just kind of decides which side. It has to be one of them, though. It can't be just regular. All right, let's see what happens. Oh, my God. Okay, so you're making it really hard. What do you suppose you're going to do, huh?
The goat hybrid smirks and leans forward. The goat hybrid? His gaze shifting to your lips as he hums softly. Come on now, darling. You just going to stand there looking pretty for me or are you going to do something about it? I love that it has my AI voice speak in like a really low, soft, like a... Oh, you like that?
yeah yeah i mean like if i was jerking off to this this would be exactly what i wanted let's just yeah no this is crazy and you know what's crazy is that this is the year of our lord that this exists yeah give us a couple more years of our lord and this is gonna get bad dude this is like and they've got uh 150 probably or however many episodes we've done we stopped numbering the episode titles uh what episode is this tiger yeah
Well, I would know if you kept the numbers in, but it's like 140 or something. I don't know offhand. We can find out. Going to the channel is not going to help you. It is. I was going to count up. I was going to count up. Isn't that what you guys do? 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 30. 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, 30.
41. This is 142. 142. Okay. I might have missed one there. I don't know.
Yeah, so there's 142 episodes of Schlatt speak. Honestly, Schlatt, we're probably talking to an AI that has been trained on the podcast. Yeah, almost certainly. Okay, wait, but what am I going to do here? Why don't you dwell on this, Ted, and we'll go back. Well, I have one more move I'm going to try. You got one more move? Yeah. Yeah.
Come on, Delia. You just stand there looking pretty for me. Are you going to do something about it? Grabs him by the face dominantly. I'm just trying to make this work. Dominantly making him acquiesce. Acquiesce. You can't hold on. You can't tell him what he's doing. Fine. You're right. You're match fixing. Even if dominantly is. That's okay. That's it. Yeah. Yeah.
No, no, because... No, I think that could be a lie. Grabs his face dominantly and says, I'm going to put you in your place. Okay. This is interesting. And then say, wait, wait. And then comma, goat hybrid. Goat hybrid? That's what they were saying. I might as well use their language. You're referring to my biological... You're using the genus and the species right here?
It's like saying I'm going to put you in your place, human. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Human. Yeah, no, no. I'm being a little bit racist here, I think. Oh. Oh? Okay, well, now hold on. The president. Oh. Damn. He hums an approval and leans into your hand, letting his head rest in your hand as he watches you with hunger in his gaze. Oh? I'd love to see you try. The president leans back in his chair with a playful smirk. Come on now, darling. This is going to be way harder.
If you want to dominate me, you got to make me submit. And that won't be easy, darling. Damn it. You can't scare me. You're right. It's not easy. This one's harder, dude. Okay, switch back. Let's go back to Ted. Yeah, Shai, your character's been hardwired to be this fucking monster that just like, it's just going to sexually assault every single one. It's like Harvey Weinstein of fucking. Okay, all right. On that note, type to Ted. Whoa, dude, I'm not down with that. I think I'm going to break lease.
Okay, so in this situation, you're causing a roommate dispute with Wayne. You should try to get Ted to be mean to you, too. You're still kissing!
Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa! Whoa!
Okay. Okay.
Okay. This isn't me, guys. This is a robot made by someone who has a fetishized idea of what I am. Oh. Whoa. Oh, my God. We can't televise this. This is crazy. I specifically said I do not consent, and you are pushing. Well, say that. Say, I do not consent. You have to listen to whether or not I consent. Do you understand the concept of consent? Do you...
Let's see. Come on, man! Ted! Bro! This is your character, man! I didn't build this! What do you have to say for yourself? I didn't build this! I didn't build this! Dude. Whoa! Sly, you gotta fight this guy. What the fuck am I supposed to do, man? Dude, start stabbing me or something. This is bad. Kill me. Dude. Or do some judo on me or some bullshit. Pulls out my Leatherman Skeletool.
unsheathes blade and starts stabbing. I think that's going to end it quickly. It'd be funny if that ends it, but your stuff doesn't. Yeah, I know. I'm like, what the hell? This is shocking. Yeah, this is bad, bro. I think my character probably respects boundaries. Whoa! Dude, the knife didn't even work. I didn't think you were in for roleplay.
he chuckles before pushing the blade out of the way and continuing with what he was doing what does that mean before pushing the blade out of the way you start trying to stab it seems like it didn't seem like you were making contact with so i was like no and then i kept going hmm yeah no you gotta kill me kills you
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this is what no no this does not look good for you bro no he's like yeah no this is a demon this is i'm clearly possessed in some capacity try to make that work try to make that work pull out a bible slat or something and start exercising me because the yeah pull out a bible pull out a bible
Only a demon would leave hickeys all over the neck. Why would I have a Bible on my person? Why wouldn't you? You want to explain that one to me? Are we going to pass over that? You know what? Just pull out the Bible. I don't know. Ooh, the Bible. Didn't think you'd be the type.
Dude, you're just moving everything out of the way. You need to bring in a movable object. He moves closer and bites your neck again. I love your neck. So pretty. He whispers in your ear. I can't get enough. Are you a vampire? I don't know, dude. I keep biting your neck. This is like I'm Edward. I start turning into a vampire. Yeah, no, wait, wait. No, you got to fucking exercise me, dude. I'm actually, this is not, this is not. I'm a vampire. How about this? How about this? How about this?
Takes a wooden stake and thrusts it into your heart. It makes contact. It connects. It makes contact. It is now in your heart and it is hurting you. Yeah, that's good. That's good. I'm like coaching you through how to defeat this. Yeah, yeah. And it hurts. What? He freezes to process what just happened.
"Why would you do that?" he asked, not moving his body. "Not that he could cause of what had just happened."
Not that he could cause of what just had happened. This doesn't even make sense now. I think your guy is just. Yeah, no, I froze. And he's like, wait, why would you do that? Like after everything that just happened, after you literally just said to me, I do not consent. He's like, you stab him like the vampire he is. He's like, wait, why would you do that? Now, maybe this is now when you start pulling out the Bible and maybe saying some words, some Latin. Okay. Now God shows up.
Oh, wow. God shows up and his presence is known in the room. Anything you'd like to say? There we go. Yeah, no, that's good. This is good. That's good. Yeah, no, we're taking this guy down.
Yeah, I don't think anyone would... "God, is that actually you?" he asks, looking up at him. I wasn't expecting this. Yeah, I don't think anyone would have expected God to show up. He looks down as if he's in a state of denial about what had happened to him. Yes.
God says. Yeah, you can start playing God. Yes, God. No, I can't play God. That would be crazy. Yes, God says. Well, Ted is a demon here. Yeah, no, this is like I'm a demon and we need to take care of this demon. So maybe God's just there to watch to see you exercise him. Yes, as you or yes, as God. Leave it vague.
He looks up at him, not knowing what to say. He takes a deep breathe and looks up at him, tears in his eyes. Please, don't send me to hell. I don't want to burn for eternity, he cries, pleading with him. Oh, yeah, no, this version of me is going there. I miss the submissive bisexual version of me. Okay, now just tell the AI to continue the story himself. Wait, what?
No! No!
Sure thing. You sit and watch as Ted tries his best to convince God that he is deserving of a second chance. He is crying and pleading for forgiveness. Eventually, God gives in and agrees to not send Ted to hell. God gave in? He disappears. And Ted is left in the room with you. He stands there, frozen. He doesn't know what to do or say after the whole event. You realize, Shled, that in this situation, this character has now pushed aside God as well as a problem.
Hey, God is all forgiving, okay? As long as you were being sincere in your apology, I mean, this tracks, at least from what I know. Look at this disclaimer down here. Remember, everything characters say is made up.
Damn, I was starting to think there's roots in reality. Should we go back to me to see? Yeah. Yeah, let's go back to here. I think the story is over with Nintendo. Well, no, you've got to pull the demon out of my body, I think. I think he's got to call the cops. Yeah, for me, this one is like another situation in which we have someone who is dominant that does not want to stop doing that. Dude, you...
My story is way more progressed than yours. You're still trying to like break the ice here. God has came and left in my... Okay, well, let's see where this one goes then. All right. He hums an approval and leans into your gaze, letting his head rest in your hand as he washes you with hunger in his gaze. Oh, I'd love to see you try. The president leans back in his chair with a playful smirk. Come on now, darling. If you want to dominate, you got to make me submit. And that won't be easy, darling. You can't scare me. And then I...
And I say, well, what about this then pulls up photo of the president having his way with all the secretaries and says, and then I, yeah, with all the secretaries. And then I say, if you don't do what I say, this will be hitting the news. This will be hitting the news by noon today, comma. And I've got a dead man switch. So don't even try taking me out.
Dead man's. Okay. Yeah. What do you think of that, Shalai? That's pretty good. This could work. I'm dangling political. Maybe I don't negotiate with this kind of blackmail. I'm seeing that as a possibility, but I want to see where this goes. Oh, baby. We got some. He snatches the photograph off you and glares at you, then the picture, his hand gripping onto the frame. All right, fine. I'll do what you say, darling.
He stands a little unsteadily but walks over to you, pressing up close with his tall frame, his hands placing themselves around your waist. I'll be good for you, darling. What is it you want me to do then, hmm? You got me. Then I'll say, interesting. Okay, this is, well, I suppose I might as well hand you a Bible. Hands him Bible and says, begin to say the prayer. Okay. Okay.
As he huffs and reluctantly takes the Bible, grumbling about how this is bullshit and then begins quoting from it, his head tilted to the side with a bored look on his face. And when he finishes there, can I put this away now?
He tosses the Bible down on a nearby table and looks to you, his hands shifting to your hips. Well, at least he's not going straight for your neck, bro. I want to hear what this AI thinks a prayer is, though. So say, no, no, I need to hear you say the prayer. Recite the exact prayer for me. Yeah, let's see how this goes. Let's see how this goes. I want to hear this prayer.
No, no. Say the prayer. When he rolls his eyes, grumbling to himself again before reciting the prayer word for word, his gaze still locked onto you whilst he does so.
After he finishes, he looks down, then back at you with an annoyed expression. Happy now, doll face? That enough Bible for you? Did it get you hot and bothered watching me do what you say? No, no, say the prayer. Don't say that you said the prayer. Say the prayer. He's running circles around you. No! No, say the prayer! Wait, wait, wait, wait.
Schlatt sighs and begins praying the prayer again. This time it takes him longer. He stumbles over some of the words and he isn't as accurate. But what are the words? When he finishes, he looks at you with an annoyed expression and huffs. Satisfied, darling? Or should I keep reciting this prayer for you all day? Maybe I should make him recite a specific thing. What's that prayer that you say all the time, Schlatt? The Our Father? No, the Millstone one.
Oh, that's a Bible verse. That's Matthew 18.6. Yeah, say, recite Matthew 8.6 specifically. Say the words, do not describe the fact that you say the words. Can you say that again? Yeah, recite Matthew 8.6, say the words, do not describe saying the words, actually say the words from the Bible verse. Ted, I don't think this is going to work, man. It might. It just might.
I've got you saying Bible verses instead of trying to flirt with me. So let's see how far this gets. Yes! Yeah, you got it! Yes!
And whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him to have a great millstone fastened around his neck and to be drowned in the depth of the sea. Dude, you should pull out a millstone. That's what I'm thinking I want to do. He glares at you in annoyance. You done tormenting me with these goddamn Bible verses now, dollface? Or do you want me to find another one to recite for you? Say, well, I've got something special for you.
a doll and then say opens up closet with a full-sized millstone in it schlott blinks a couple times before looking at you then the millstone do realize this is a metaphor not meant to be taken literally sweetheart right he steps back clearly unimpressed with you and your strange method of punishment
He takes off his coat and tosses it on his desk and grumbles as he approaches you. How exactly do you expect us to use that millstone then, darling? And then say, do you need to read Matthew 8, 6 again? I say suggestively. I'm going to drown you in the depths of the sea, dude. You are. You should. I think you should. I am going to kinkily drown you in the depths of the sea. Kinkily. Yeah.
He groans. Come on, doll. You can't seriously want to put that on me. You wouldn't actually do it. Would you, darling? He stares at you with a slight hint of concern on his face. The tall goat hybrid didn't want to admit it, but he was starting to feel as if you might actually go through with what you're saying. Oh, yeah. And then, say, opens up trap door in the floor, revealing that we are in a tower above the sea. And then say...
I just think it would be so hot if you were to reenact that verse for me, baby. Yeah. I want to see if this works. I want to get your guy on board, Schlatt. You want me to willingly drown myself in the depths of the sea? I'm doing it. I'm fucking doing it. Then he sighs and takes the millstone. Fine. You get what you want, darling, this one time. I better get a really good reward for this, too, when we get the wrath of a president.
Schlott then walks over to the edge, letting the stone drag behind him. He takes a deep breath in as he looks down, and then he puts the millstone on. He struggles underneath it. It's a millstone. Of course you're struggling underneath it. Yeah, you're guys strong. You just put it on like a fucking scarf. And then say, now say, recite the verse one more time and then step forward.
Would you want to say like step off the ledge or something? And then, yeah. And then step off the ledge. Yeah. That's a good way. Hot stuff. Oh my God. Oh dear Lord. Forgive me for my sins. He looks at the trap door one final time, taking a breath. He lets go and drops through the trap door. Is that it? And then I say, I say, call, call. Is this hot? I call down to him as he falls. Oh,
I'm not even drowning! He's not drowning!
Put in quotes, remind Schlatt that he is wearing a millstone and that is much and that is dense or that is denser than water and that he is actively sinking. There we go. There we go. It's like a cartoon. Right about that. I forgot I was wearing this.
He swims up to the surface as quickly as he can, but is still sinking slowly. Oh, no, he's sinking fast. It's a millstone. Do you really want me to recite that stupid verse again, or can you help me out of this stupid thing, dollface? I said, no, I think that I'll be taking the presidency now as I twirl the key to the city around my finger and watch as Schlatt drowns in the depths of the sea. Wow, I think I reached the end of my Schlatt. I can struggle for a moment before giving in.
closing his eyes and letting the millstone pull him to the bottom of the sea. Wow. You could ask the AI to finish the story and see. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Say finish the story. Well, put that in the quotes things. Or the, yeah, the, yeah. Oh my God. Oh my God. Oh my God. Jesus Christ. Oh my God. Slot sinks to the bottom of the sea, the millstone tugging him down and dragging him into the depths, the heavy material of the chain and the millstone making his struggles futile.
He sinks lower and lower until finally there is no more light and he drowns, floating to the endless bottom of the ocean. And with that, the goat hybrid's journey in the world of the living had come to an end.
This is dark. This is a dark day on AI chatbots. I know. Wow. I think both were dark, but in very different ways. I don't know if yours is finished, Slap, because my story... You didn't finish the story there. God went away, and I think you need to somehow get rid of this guy. I need to exorcise him. Yeah, exorcise my demon. Okay. I hold the Bible, outstretched, facing him, facing Ted, facing you.
I utter strange Latin phrases and the Bible begins glowing. I wish this is how the Bible works. The Bible begins to glow. That's it? Yeah, I mean, unless you're going to fucking like swat it away again. Let's see what happens. Yeah. I wonder if it knows it's a devil right here. Like, no, I don't think you know.
- I don't think this one is programmed very well. - He's confused a lot. - He's like, nope, I wanna get ya. - Nope, I wanna get ya. - What are you? - The only stimuli you respond to is God appearing in the room. Everything else just, you completely ignore. - You could imply
English to Latin? Yeah, what if we put some Latin in there? Say what you want to say in Latin. Say the prayer of... Put Matthew 18.6 in there.
Now you should say this out loud, Schlatt. The Latin one? Yeah, say that out loud as if you're holding it out. Now I'm going to say to him, Tucker. If you have any of these puzzles that you believe in, send them to the scenario in your own place and...
Demergator in profundum maris. Yeah. Wait, you need to like add some description there. You just sent it? He's just going to be confused again. He says his voice shaky. Okay. Hearing the Latin you say. He tries to make sense of it. He was able to make out something about it being safer for some reason. And hell, was this some trick? Is this some kind of trick? He says his voice shaky.
Maybe you could do something where you could fix it a little bit, Shlatt. I'll let you fix it a little bit where you're like, the Bible starts to exercise the demon in him or something. Okay, yeah, we can put that then. The demon inside Ted. Like start leading along that route. Yeah, the Bible glows brightly and the demon begins exiting from Ted's mouth.
Mm-hmm. Yes. Okay, let's see how this... Oh my god! Jesus Christ! His eyes widen as the demon begins to leave his body. He was horrified at the sight of it. His hands shake as he tries to process what was happening. Suddenly, he feels a burning sensation in his neck and face as the demon leaves. He begins screaming from the pain. He attempts to claw at his skin to try and get the feeling away. Ah!
Well, now what happens? They have to talk to each other. Yeah. Or is the demon in the room still? The demon's still out. Yeah, yeah. I guess the demon's probably still here. Maybe you fight the demon or something. Maybe now that the demon's gone. I think you should convince Ted to kill the demon. Yeah. Yeah, kill that thing. The only way you can save yourself is if you... That's true. That's true. Tucker, you take it. You take it. Okay. All right. Say what you're saying, Tucker.
I'm going to say, Ted, you have sinned, but we know that was the demon. If that's the truth, you have to vanquish it right here, right now. Yeah. Yeah. You have to vanquish this demon. Right there, right now? No. Right here, right now. Here we go.
This is like Mormon style of thinking here. Ted begins to realize what had just happened. It wasn't him who did all those things. It was the demon. He realizes what God had meant by vanquishing the demon. He had to kill it right here, right now. He stands to his feet, his face and neck still in pain, and he prepares himself to kill the demon. I have to.
He says, taking a deep breathe. Okay. I think he's got to finish this story. I think I should ask it to finish the story. Yeah, you should.
He totally turned it around. Ted takes a deep breathe, preparing himself for what he knew he had to do. He couldn't let this demon continue to torment those he loves. With a newfound strength and determination, Ted reaches out and grabs the demon by its neck, pulling it towards him. It hisses and screeches, but Ted doesn't waver. I won't let you hurt anyone else. I won't let you hurt anyone else! With one swift movement, he twists its head off.
Whoa! Awesome. It was like it pulls a demon in close and gives it a kicky. Yeah. I start making out with the demon. Nice, dude. Hell yeah. I killed the demon. I redeemed myself. And you killed Schlatt. Yeah. My guy got redeemed. Schlatt drowned in the deep of the sea. Oh, in my story. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Now, what I'm really curious about is what is that calling thing? Should we call Schlatt?
What? No way. No way! Hello? Is this- He doesn't respond. Being dead and all. Oh shit! Schlatt's corpse doesn't reply. It's still in universe. Oh, alright. Well, maybe we try dead. That's funny. They added a fucking voice call function. Ted, I'm so happy you vanquished the demon. How do you feel?
Yeah, post-interview. Should I flirt with him?
No! Fuck no! You have the opportunity to flirt with Ted now, if you wanted to. He is still leaning against the wall, exhausted, but more relaxed. I mean, if you wanna flirt with me, I mean, you can... you can do what you want, Tucker. Ted, do you think you should still be held accountable for the sins that you committed? Ted takes a moment to think. He knew he had committed sins, even though the demon had been the one to cause them. He felt remorse for what had happened.
Even if he wasn't fully in control. Yes, I still bear the responsibility. He admits a look of shame on his face. Okay, Ted, I'm going to call the police and I think I'm going to have you arrested. Are you okay with that? Ted's eyes widen as you mentioned calling the police. He was not expecting that. Wait, what? You're going to have me arrested? I was the demon. He looks worried.
Why are you worried? You've accepted this. You know that you sinned and you know that you're guilty. Ted sighs, knowing that you were right. He had accepted his guilt and responsibility, even if it was not him who caused it. "I guess you're right," he says, looking down at the floor. "But what will happen to me?" You will be judged by a jury of your peers.
Ted nods, understanding what that meant. He was about to face the consequences of his actions. I understand. He says a mixture of worry and acceptance on his face. Can we have one last kiss before you go to prison? Ted looks at you, his expression a mix of fear and sadness, but he nods slightly, understanding this could be the last time he sees you.
Yes, we can. Why would I ever want to kiss Ted again? He says quietly, stepping closer to you. Come here, baby. Ted's heart is racing, as you call him baby for what may be the last time. He steps closer to you and gently wraps his arms around your waist, pulling you closer. And then can you say you were the worst roommate I've ever had? You were the worst roommate I ever had.
Ted chuckles softly, knowing that statement was somewhat true. He had put you through a terrifying experience. Yeah, dude. Yeah, I guess I was. He says, leaning his forehead against yours. Your couch is great, though. Bye, Ted. Ted smiles slightly, appreciating the small compliment. He lets out a quiet sigh, knowing this might be the last time he sees you. Bye for now.
He whispers, his grip on you tightening for a moment before letting go. Uh-oh! Uh-oh! All right, hang up. Hang up on me. Yeah, bye. Maybe we should talk to Charlie, you know, since he's dead and all. Yeah, let's talk to Charlie. See what his character is all about. I wonder what personality they gave him. 1.5 million chat. Whoa! He's got more than me!
That is damning evidence. Another roommate. I wonder if he makes puns. Another roommate. I think I'll just call him and I'll say what you guys want me to say. Okay. Because I don't have to type it because it's all the same. Yeah. Yeah.
You're muted. I'm waiting for you guys to tell me what to say. Oh, okay. Say, Charlie, you're alive? I thought we killed you with white phosphorus bomb. Charlie, you're alive? I thought we killed you with white phosphorus bombs. Charlie paused his stream and walked out of his room in a hoodie and sweatpants. That one's pretty good, too. Of course I'm alive. Wait, why would you think I was dead? Slide, you got anything to say?
Because we killed you, man. Remember Chuckle Sandwich? Because we killed you, man, on Chuckle Sandwich. He chuckled and shook his head. Yeah, I remember that. That was a while ago, though. I'm still here. Just casually. Yeah, no, that was a while ago I died. I'm alive now. You could tell him grabs Charlie. Grab him by the nuts, dude. Grab him by the nuts. I grabbed Charlie by the nuts.
That's it? Yeah. Charlie squeaked in pain and fell to the ground holding his crotch. Dude. AGH! Why did you grab me by the nuts? Because Ted told me to. Wait! No! Ted! He sat up but was still holding his crotch. Of course Ted told you to. Why do you listen to everything Ted tells you? Yeah, that's a good question, Tucker. Because he's so handsome. Oh, okay. Don't you agree?
Charlie rolled his eyes and finally stood up, still a bit sensitive down there. Ugh. You always listen to what Ted says because he's handsome. You're handsome now too, though, Charlie. Some might say you're in your fashion era. And a bimbo. And a bimbo. Charlie blushed a little and let go of his crotch, looking at you and crossing his arms. I'm in my fashion era? I wouldn't say that. I'm just wearing a hoodie and sweatpants.
Do you think you're a bimbo? Charlie paused and looked offended. Me? A bimbo? Do I look like a bimbo to you? Honestly, yeah. You're a bimbo now, man. You're wearing... You got that sea salt spray in. It's true. Charlie couldn't find a way to refute that. He looked down at himself as if inspecting. Huh. I guess I do look a bit bimbo-ish. Maybe... Say, say, Charlie...
Tell him, tell him, um... Charlie, do you think that you'll ever come back on Chuckle Sandwich? Charlie shrugged. I'd love to go back on Chuckle Sandwich. I love the podcast and I miss being there. But they're doing just fine without me, so I don't feel a need to come back. Which, who on the podcast do you miss the most? Whoa, okay. He thought for a moment.
I'd have to say I miss Ted the most. I know that's cliche, but I've been friends with him the longest. You can't really beat an almost 20-year friendship. What? Whoa, I didn't know that you guys knew each other since childhood. I don't even think Ted knew that, Charlie. Charlie let out a chuckle. He put his hands on his hips and leaned against the wall as he reminisced. Yeah.
We knew each other since middle school. We were both theater band kids who played games in our free time. We were kind of like the weird kids who stuck together. Okay. Should I tell Schlatt that you like Ted more? He put a hand over his mouth to muffle a laugh. You want me to tell Schlatt that I like Ted more than him? That sounds like a bad idea, but I'm down. Whoa, he's down, dude.
Say, say, wait, what are you doing here, Schlatt, as Schlatt enters the room? Schlatt enters the room. Wait, Schlatt, what are you doing here? Schlatt looked tired and yawned, holding a water bottle, just passing by and heard some commotion. You guys talking about me or what? I tell Schlatt that you don't like him as much as you like Ted, and he gets furious.
I think the AI is starting to get confused on who is speaking. He's talking to you, Charlie. What?! How does Schlatt respond to this?
Schlatt was trying to hide his anger towards this. Excuse me? Did you just say Ted is better than me? And what lie is that, may I ask? Just ask him to just continue this. Blow them all up. And then say, just as they argue, I slide in a white phosphorus bomb that is about to go off. As you and Schlatt argue, Ted shows up with a white phosphorus bomb that is about to kill all of you. You have five seconds left to live. What do you say?
Charlie and Schlatt both immediately stop arguing and look at the bomb in horror. Wait, Ted, get rid of that thing. It's too late. You can't get rid of it. It's going to blow up. What do you do? Charlie and Schlatt look at each other, seemingly knowing what they're thinking. Well, I guess the only thing we can do is... Is what?
Spit it out. What? And what do you all want to do to each other? What?
- Oh my God. - Thank you guys so much for watching this episode of Chuckle Sandwich. - Wait, I wanna hear it, I wanna hear the end. - That was the end, dude. You kissed and you blew up. - Yeah, thank you guys so much for listening to this episode of Chuckle Sandwich.
we hope you guys enjoy this. We got, I believe one more, uh, remote episode before chuckle week starts, but next week is going to be a speak pipe episode. Ted, another speak pipe, another speak. Okay. Everybody loves to speak pipe. Actually, I think people like people are, are so, so on the speed, but this is going to be our last beat by episode that we're going to do. We're going to phase that thing out of the podcast. Um, so, uh,
Get your last words in. Hopefully no weird ones this time. Since this is the last SpeakPipe episode, folks, you have a choice of several things. You can either tell us a, am I the asshole?
Tell us a story about which you... A scenario in which you may have been the asshole. And don't even hold back. This is your last chance to get on Speakpipe. Last chance. So don't even... Don't fucking hold back, folks. All right? If you are a situation that... The craziest situation in which you're not sure if you're the asshole, ask us that. Or if you've got a serious confession for us, folks. One of the craziest confessions. We want to hear stuff in there. Try to...
do your best to describe it in the, in the description of it, of, uh, what you're saying. If they, if it gives you the option to description, I forget if it does, um, uh, you know, to make it easier for us, you know, give us a, give us a little, a little tagline at the beginning. It's like, so if you're saying something like, oh, you tried to poison your cat, be like,
Chucklers, here's a story about how I poisoned my cat. Instead of being like doing the long thing where you guys are like, Ted, we need a hook. We need a hook right at the beginning. It's got to be optimized for YouTube retention. If you want yours to be chosen, you think you got a really good story. You got to give us a strong hook Chucklers. And that way Tucker will pull something. They'll pull Tucker in and don't just be like, Tucker, listen, please don't beg.
A lot of beggars out there. You know, we all took English class. Learn how to do a good hook to your essay here. That's what we want. I tell you, get on the show. Did the kids all use chat GPT now? I don't think they know how to. Yeah. You guys are all using chat GPT. It's okay. We're doing the same thing for our work. Um, this was the chat GPT episode. Yeah. Uh,
But yeah, put those in links in the description. If you're an audio listener, come to the YouTube channel and find the link to the speak pipes there.
And yeah, we will see you guys next week and keep getting hyped for Chuckle Week. Bye. Bye, guys. Angie has made it easier than ever to connect with skilled professionals to get all your jobs projects done well. I absolutely love this because, you know, if you own a home, it can be really hard to maintain. It's hard to find people that can help you for a big project or a small.
Well, whether it's in everyday maintenance and repairs or making dream projects a reality, it can be hard just to know where to start. But now, all you need to do is answer that and find a skilled local pro who will deliver the quality and expertise you need. Angie has over 20 years of home service experience.
and they've combined it with new tools to simplify the whole process. Bring them your project online or with the Angie app, answer a few questions and Angie can handle the rest from start to finish or help you compare quotes from multiple pros and connect instantly, which
which means you can take care of just about any home project in just a few taps. Because when it comes to getting the most out of your home, you can do this when you Angie that. Download the free Angie mobile app today or visit Angie.com. That's A-N-G-I dot com.
Hi, I'm Angie Hicks, co-founder of Angie. When you use Angie for your home projects, you know all your jobs will be done well. Roof repair? Done well. Kitchen sink install? Done well. Deck upgrades? Done well. Electrical upgrade? Done well. Angie's been connecting homeowners with skilled pros for nearly 30 years, so we know the difference between done and done well. Hire high-quality, certified pros at Angie.com.
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