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Mom, Dad, I humbly suggest you save some money and shop Amazon for back to school. It's for my growth, meaning my body's growing at an alarming rate. And clothes you buy me this year will be very small very soon. Plus, the clothes I love today will be out of style tomorrow. But at least your wallet doesn't have to be my fashion victim.
if you shop low prices for school at Amazon. Hopefully this is helpful. Amazon, spend less, smile more. - This summer, during the biggest sporting event of the year, Peacock turns to two broadcasting legends for the Olympics coverage you can't find anywhere else. - I think they mean us. - Oh .
With an incredible duo sure to take home the comedy gold. Olympic Highlights with Kevin Hart and Kenan Thompson. New episodes Monday, Wednesday, and Friday. Only on Peacock. Shled, did you see my Instagram post? I did, yeah. You posted a picture of you and a kangaroo and you tagged me on the kangaroo. Why'd you do that? You want to talk about that? Well, I'm just a little...
Well, I'm a little confused. I swear that I met up with you when I was in Australia. I'm 90% sure. No, I don't live in Australia. Oh, you're right. That's a... That's a little kangaroo you tagged me on. Yeah, no, that's not you. That's a kangaroo. That's a kangaroo. Did you think that was me while I was there? And you cupped your hand and you fed me little seeds? Is that what you thought I was doing? I mean, I wouldn't put it past us. That's kind of how our relationship kind of works. Me feeding you some seeds in order to get you to do something.
Me eating seeds out of your cupped hands? Yeah, no, that's kind of like how every chuckle week goes. You know, you show up in the morning, you're a little slow, you're a little grumpy, and then we're like, hey, eat from this hand. Here's some crispy rice, man. Here, have some crispy rice. And then you eat from the hand. Yeah, no, I was a little.
I think I was a little sleep deprived when I was doing the post. Yeah, no, that's definitely a rude. Definitely a rude. That isn't Jay Schlatt. That's why he asked, why did you tag me in this? And
And you just responded with like a heart. Well, I panicked, so I decided to go the PC with you route. Just further notice, you know, that is not me. Okay. And I'd appreciate you being a little more diligent with your posts next time. Well, you know, at the end of the day, at least I was just making sure that you were, you know, getting tagged where I thought you might deserve it. I know, I know, but it's more offensive to tag me on a post. Sure.
Showing a kangaroo. Wait, wait, wait. Hold on. Then it is to not tag me if I'm actually in the photo. What? Can I just say something? Yeah, okay. Welcome to Chuckle Sandwich. Jambo. Whoa, Jambo's on the little perch today, huh? Such a life hack, dude. You ever want a cat to like stay somewhere? You just put a little heating pad and wherever it is, they have to sit. Yeah, that's pretty nice. And then look, he just looks out the window. Wow.
Yeah, no, you really figured it out. It's kind of like an automatic system you've got going on here. I know. I come in, I turn on my lights. Dude, I got lights now. What would you know about lights? Dude, I've got the lights on full blast. My camera...
Is the one that's disagreeing right now about the lights saying, no, no, we're going to focus for the light coming in in the morning light right now. That's the focus of the scene here. You know what I did? You know what I did? This is a Netflix approved camera that I'm currently. Blackout shades, lantern light, rim light behind me on a boom pole. Are you kidding me? Look at this. You see this light above me? Oh my God. You see how soft this light is?
And it's gonna look like this every time, dude. Every time. Tucker was telling me that you, he was talking to you about his Elgato lights and you were screaming at him about them. And you had actually made him a little bit uncomfortable. So I think that, you know, maybe we need to have a workplace safety conversation. I shouldn't say I hate them. I should just say that there's better lighting solutions out there. And I found the key lights pretty harsh. Here's what I'll tell you what Tucker told me. I'll give you a reenactment of the situation. He basically was like,
Slot, so what do you think of my Elgato legs? You reply, you're like, I hate them. I hate how they blind me. I can't look at them. And you're like, Tucker was like, oh, well, Ted actually sent me these legs. No, shut up. Don't talk to me about that.
Is that correct, Tucker? That's a dramatized version. That's the Netflix adaptation. Let me show you what I'm working with right now, dude. This is right to my left. You see this? Huge lantern. You seeing that? Yeah, no, I'm seeing that. Huge lantern. That's what I'm about now. That's what I'm about. Yeah, I mean, they say that you get nice, soft...
soft shadows from a big old soft box like that. Although you also get the hardest shadows, the bigger sources and the further it is or the closer it is to you. The bigger it is and the closer it is. That's putting that degree to work. Are you awake, dude? Dude, barely, man. Barely. I'm barely awake. I'm actually...
You're going to think this is actually funny. Tucker's actually going to get a kick out of this. I don't want two hours. Two hours of sleep. Yeah. Okay. I've been struggling, folks. Those listeners to Chuckle Sandwich. You've been back from Australia. I am back from Australia. This jet lag. I got back on Monday. Tucker's going to like this. I left at 9 p.m. on Monday from Australia, and I returned to L.A. at 6 p.m. on Monday. Mm-hmm.
And short flight. You've been to...
Japan, how did you figure out how to deal with the jet lag coming back? I don't think it even bothers me, to be honest. Oh, aren't you the fucking king of France? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Listen, I sleep when I'm tired. So does everyone. That's not special. That's not true. That's not true. That's not true. Most people have to stay awake when they're tired. I sleep when I'm tired like a caveman. Hmm.
I'm not bound to this nine to five schedule. When me tired, me sleep. Okay. And that usually works out. I just don't have a problem with jet lag ever. You ignore it? So you tell me that you just sleep. When me tired, me sleep. Sleep when tired and then it just fixes itself? Dude. It magically works itself out. I take lots of naps and I feel good most times. Oh, well, you didn't mention that.
Yeah. You didn't mention that, that you are a napper. Because that's just, I consider that to be a superpower. I can't nap. What, taking naps? You can't nap? I can't nap. I can't do it. If I nap. Put your phone away. What? I said put your phone away. Then you're a napper.
Then you'll be able to nap. What are you, 60? What are you, 60, Tucker? No, I'm just giving you the keys to the castle. Stop scrolling on Facebook, maybe. Think about that for a second. Like, what are you talking about? If you want to nap, put your phone away. Sorry. God, that was a geriatric response you gave me. I call you out. It's the truth.
People don't want to hear the truth these days. Yeah, you saying that's the truth, you don't want to hear the truth these days, further boomer response. But no, I will lay down and I'll be like, time to go to sleep. But I'm on the meds. Can't do it. I've got fucking 80 cc's of fucking meth running through my veins. No.
My body can't shut down until it's time. So, you literally can't sleep when you're tired.
Yeah, I will go through that. That's why I actually haven't taken my medicine because I think I might take a nap after this podcast recording because otherwise I will float through the day like a zombie without just being like, man, I wish I could sleep right now, without the ability to sleep. It's fucked up. You kind of look like a zombie right now. Oh, offense. But your eyes are barely open. Like the Minecraft zombie? No.
Damn it. Like a fucked up one, dude. You could have at least made it a nice one. Like a fucked up one. Really? Like one that's susceptible to ramps? Yeah, like... Yeah, that's definitely one that's susceptible to ramps, that face. Audio listeners love you to death. He made a crazy zombie face. It was really good. And look, audio listeners love you to death. Jambo's looking at the aurora outside. Whoa. Did you see it? Aurora borealis.
Did either of you guys see it? No, I didn't see it. You didn't see it? Tucker, that... I didn't know. I didn't know it was happening. You didn't... Well, you gotta pay attention to your geological fucking sky charts, you idiot. I gotta put some up. No, well, no. The maps aren't gonna help you. Like, maps on your wall? Is that what you're talking about? You need maps on your wall? I don't think that's gonna give you live updates on when a...
magnetic storm is happening. You never know. You're just going to be up there with your protractor and shit and you're going to be like, it's coming. About every 10 years it happens. It's pretty cyclical. Does that have to do with the sun cycle? Yeah. It's got cycles, man. It's got cycles. And every five rounds Brutus shows up. You're going to have to explain that one. I'm sorry. I was playing Mob of the Dead earlier. I'm sorry.
You know what's great about you, Schlatt, is that sometimes you'll make a reference that you're almost 100% sure only you will know.
and you just keep doing it. And I think that that's so true to yourself. And I think that's a reason to... I'm one of the funniest people I know. I'm one of the funniest people alive. It might be true. I'm going to make my jokes and people just got to be along for the ride. It's been said to me a lot that I need to go on stage and perform, but I don't think I'll ever do that again.
A lot of people are telling me, please do a live show. I'll buy tickets. And they want to give me money, but I won't. Some kind of live show? Some kind of stand-up or podcast? Or maybe I just sang into the microphone or something? Podcast? What are you talking about? You're on it right now. You're on it right now. You've got two of them. Or I guess you only have... This is actually the last one left, isn't it?
No, I'm back on sleep deprived, but we moved it to Patreon only. Oh, okay. So it's completely paywalled now, which is a super effective way of maximizing revenue. Did it work? Yes. Yes. That's awesome. Totally worked. Our Patreon is like gaining thousands and thousands of dollars. We might even be at 20K right now. Oh, really? Yeah. We should do that. It said that we should put Tucker behind the paywall. Oh.
We'll make a patron. We spent all this time getting people used to and appreciating Tucker, and then we're like, now we're locking him in a treasure chest, and you're going to have to pay to open it up. So the original cut that goes on YouTube is just him muted or so highly distorted you can't understand. And there's a faint watermark, and it's like, want the Tucker version?
Talker audio? Go to Patreon slash Jungle Sam. That's awesome, dude. That would work. That would work. Oh, it would work. It would make our, you know, I think that there would be a significant portion of our audience that would probably be rioting in Reddit. It would be like the fucking streets of France whenever they do like an unappreciated...
Bill in France. Hey, look, I felt bad for Watcher when they tried pulling that stunt because you know what? You know who pulls morally bankrupt little money grabs all the time? Every other distributor of content in the world, dude.
Netflix is raising fucking rates every other week. All these streamers are combining and shit and charging you. And that's the thing. Creators like me can't be as shitty as the company. Why is that? I'm trying to make a buck too. Me and the Sleep Deprived Boys were talking about real talk. We were talking about adding an inflation tax.
to our Patreon and raising all the tiers by a couple bucks because of fucking Joe Biden. Because the money we get is worth less now. Yeah. But we can't do that. No, people, all eyes on us. Have you tried? Every other fucking streamer's doing it. Have you tried? I haven't tried. Because I feel like if anyone could skate through the controversy related to money, I feel like out of anyone, you could do that. You could do that. It's in your brand. People practically want money.
to be scammed by you. People want it. I don't think you understand this. People want to be, they want to be financially abused by you. I'm selling my schlanket again soon and I might do like a little discount code that doubles the price. That's crazy. But I think someone would do, would buy it, you know? Yeah. Just to say that I use the code that doubles the price. Is there a word that is the opposite of the discount?
Tucker, you're not. Your hands aren't moving. What? Oh, I thought you were asking Schlatt a question. He just thinks he's on the... He thinks he's a third member now. He thinks that he's got full rights, but then we keep activating the Tucker clause and he's like, I don't have to obey them anymore. But no. Opposite? Wait. Add a believe code. What's the word for not an antonym? Yeah.
discount antonym. Yeah, I know. The two options for according to Oxford languages is add and believe. So, Schlatt's going to start adding a believe code, which honestly is pretty damn good marketing if you were to...
You just got to have faith in me. Yeah, you put like a nice... Put that coat in. Nice faithful spin on it. That's good. I like that. That's fun. That's fun. What were we doing? Oh! Today on Chuckle Sandwich, Ted. Welcome. God, your mind is so cloudy right now. Look at you. No, I'm locked in, baby. Any thoughts going on in there? You're locked in right now? No, I'm locked in. I'm running on every cylinder, and I got four. All right.
And what are we doing today, you turbocharged V4? All right, here we go. Emma, play some copyright-free fucking hype music right now. Hey, Chucklers, welcome to another SpeakPipe episode. I'm here with Schlatt. I'm here with Tucker. And we sent our little cherub into the forest of the SpeakPipe. He's going around. He's listening to your guys' voices. He's saying, that one's not funny. That one's not funny. That one's not funny. That one's not funny. That one's not funny. That one's not funny.
Actually, that's pretty good. And he found a selection of relationship advice that you guys were looking for. You guys have been listening to us do these speak pipes for a while. I walked in here and I said, I said, wow, that's a good speak pipe. I walked in here and I said, wow, that's a great that's a great speak pipe. That's a great speak pipe.
What's the criteria for a speak pipe about relationship issues? Is it so bad? It's funny. It's gotta be between 30 and a minute, 30 seconds. Okay. That's the only criteria. You're telling me you're just that right there. Boom. Everything else is out. I'm not listening to your four minute and 44 second speak pipe. If I had to do that for everyone, I'd be on there for hours. You imagine recording a fucking 10 minute speak pipe for Tucker to listen to.
I see the time. Nope. Gone. Trash. Are there 10 minute ones you run into those? I don't even know if it's not one. If it's not 30 to 130, I just don't even I don't even bother. Doesn't get listened to. Yeah. For those of you who are thinking of submitting a speak pipe, just remember that when you're talking into that phone of yours, as you're holding your hand, just imagine that you're on a phone call and Tucker is on the other line, silently judging every single word you say. Every single word.
So you need to be very considerate of that. A lot of people start their speak pipes where they're just like their intro. If you want to call an intro is like 20 seconds. They're like, yeah. And they're just like being a brat. And you're like, all right, spit it out. Spit it out. You got to just get into it, man. Yeah. Get right into it. Well, a lot of the time it's, it's something along the lines of fish land.
Bucker? Yeah. Tude? Oh, yeah. Although it's kind of a funny meme at this point. I don't mind it too much. Sometimes I get upset because they call me shit.
I don't like when people call me shit. That's not my fault. What do you mean my fault? That's a good clip. I mean, yeah, but they can call me turd. They can call me turd and they can call Tucker. But they don't. Turd as well. They don't. I get called shit all the time. Tucker can attest to this. It's like every other speak pipe. Well, your name is Schlatt, so. Chart. Yeah. Shit. I mean, I'm sorry. Chat.
Yeah, see here's the thing. That's so funny though because it's pretty damn close. Okay, alright. Let's dive into one here. Whoa, okay, actually. Tucker, why don't we dive into one of these? He's getting a little ahead of himself guys. I gotta keep him in line. Do you want a romantic one? Do you want a friend one? What's your vibe right now? I want something that's gonna tickle me. Okay, Sophia is kind of a wild girl.
Hey, Ned, Shucker, and Slet. My relationship advice is more of a story. I hope that's acceptable, but if not, sue me. So I have a friend group of all men, and throughout the past five years, I've somehow managed to date two of them without getting kicked from the group. So you can call me a career homie hopper.
That was until last year when the guy that I was with lost interest in me after an almost three-year relationship. And basically kept dating me solely because he didn't want to hurt my feelings by breaking up. Relatable. In the end, I was the one who manned up and broke up with him. And here's where it gets kind of nasty. Him and two of my other friends lived together. And six months after we had broken up, one of his other friends asked me out.
I figured it had been long enough and accepted, especially since I'd liked him before dating the other guy. In order to not make it as awkward and so that I could still come over, we kept it secret from him as long as possible. But eventually it hit away at my current boyfriend's conscience and he ended up telling him. My ex moved out the next day, took the rest of our friend group with him, save for their other roommate. Well, they pick him up and run away. Yeah.
Pretty much tried to make them pay for his rent for the month. What? Even though the other roommate wasn't connected at all. So yeah, moral of the story is don't be a homey-opper. If you still want to give me advice on how to be a better person, that would be much appreciated. Yeah, it sounds like... Thank you. Much love from Sophia and Alex. Sounds like you kind of...
You gave us the father, son, and the Holy Spirit for that story. Like, there was no... We got the moral from her. Where did we come in? This is sort of my question. Yeah, I can say one thing as Jambo is licking his balls. Thanks for drawing everyone's attention to it. Well, you know, it's hard to ignore when he puts his leg up like that.
Yeah, and when you let the camera focus on him too, it's hard to ignore as well.
Sorry to ignore that. Can you imagine if we're listening to the speak pipes and I start fucking licking my balls down there? No, dude, because you're a human being. That would be weird. That would be strange behavior. I'd be a flexible man. Because you know what cameras are. I know what cameras are. Jambo does not. He does not. Can you imagine if he knew what cameras are, though? He'd be... You'd never have a working camera. He'd be attacking them all. He would be. Let me tell you something. Hey, that's not a skeletal. No, it's just a little knife I got.
I think there are a lot of people in this world and you should not date inside friend groups. That makes things very weird oftentimes. You know, what is that? What? What was that in your mouth? Nothing, dude. You fucking Cornelius Vanderbilt. Yes, actually.
Yeah, dude. What are you talking about? We're having a studious conversation. I should be able to ponder a little bit. Do little bubbles come out of that when you blow on it? No, nothing comes. It's a real pipe. Buy me one of those. You want one of these? Yeah, why not? Maybe when you're older.
Like, in 10 days. Yeah, get fucked, bitch. All right. I don't remember, like, what the problem was. I think it was like, dude, don't homie, huh? Like, what do I say? You don't say anything. She gave the moral of the story as well. Yeah. I'm a little confused on what our involvement is here, but I suppose...
Hey, your story's out there now. Now you... If you weren't embarrassed before, now you will be. It's on Chuckle Sandwich now. What was their name? Let's say their name again. Sophia. Sophia? All right.
Here we go. This is going to be Elijah. Hello, Flathead and Tucker. Hello. I wanted to call in because I need help in my relationship. Okay. My wife has moved 19 hours away, and we have a child together. It's been very difficult. I cannot relocate to live with her because I need to finish graduate school. Okay. And...
I haven't had anything bad happen in the relationship so far, but I have anxiety that something bad might happen. She's an amazing wife. We have an amazing family, but I am worried that we worked so hard to get there and it might all go away because I make a mistake or something happens. What does that mean? What does that mean? I'd appreciate it. Thank you.
You make a mistake. That came in a little bit at the last second, too. I was like, what? He's worried about himself in the long distance. He's worried about himself making a mistake. You know what this sounds like? This sounds like this dude has...
Sounds like he's gonna, wherever he went, where did he go? Why is he far away? He's stuck at grad school. Oh, so he's in like a little bit of kind of a college situation. Oh, so he's moved away to a college situation and he's got his wife at home. You know, he's worried that he's about to start licking some grad school cuties. That's what he's worried about. Licking? Yeah, licking, dude. He's gonna start licking them. Wow.
I'm it's not me who's gonna do it it's this guy this guy we got to get this guy under control I think buddy needs to lay off the porn and probably not talk to any women while he's there yeah like no contact like no licking just stop just stop don't even look at him don't don't respond if one talks to you just kind of
Like, act like they're not there. Do what they do in, like, animes, where they, like, look at the ground and they yell, where they're like, you know, when it's like, they look at the ground, they're like, I'd really like to ask you on a date, please! But instead of doing that, being like, I have a fucking wife! I have a fucking wife! Just gotta do that. That's what I have to do every day. Yeah, dude. I believe that. I believe that Tucker would do that. That seems like somebody would dissociate and just start, and clench his hands into fists and start being like, I have a wife! I have a wife!
I love her wow well try not to fuck around dude yeah I like that we just assume that he's like worried that he's gonna make like that's his mistake but then like the mistake could possibly be like I don't know like he gets a bad grade like that's what she holds that's what I mean I'm taking my test and my wife never forgave me
Yeah, dude. Don't... Don't... Don't... Dude, don't go licking the grad students. Don't lick grad students, please. Here is Rolf. Rolf. Hey, Ted. Hey, Schlatt. Hey, Tucker. I want your advice on this. Oh, I love it. I met this girl through a dating app, and when we met, she was like, she's not ready for commitment.
Then pass. All right, bet. Let's go on dates and let's see if you can sort your feelings out. Maybe you can actually try to commit to our relationship. So one month in, we're already going on dates, do cuddles and shit, normal stuff that the couples do. But every time I ask her, she keeps still saying that she's still not ready for a commitment. So should I...
Still pursue her. Kick her to the curb. She told you what you wanted. Big fan, by the way, for the selfie. Get the fuck out of there. Yeah, dude, relationship stuff is all about commitment.
I mean, no, that's not what I was saying. It is, but relationship stuff is also about communication. And if this person communicated that they weren't ready for a relationship, that means that they're looking for kind of a loosey-goosey hookup scenario, and you would be doing yourself and them a disservice by placing yourself in a situation when you're constantly asking them, hey, are you ready? Hey, are you ready? She doesn't like you as much as you like her. Yeah, just don't waste your time. Don't be...
flopping around show yourself some god damn respect yeah yeah and get back on the dating app and that's and that's yeah shall i seem to echo what i was saying that's it tucker you got something to say a little little sweetie i got nothing for ralph all right cherub
Cool name, though. Ralf. Ralf. Isn't that one of Dwight's friends in the office? It sounds like the way it's spelled, R-A-L-F, sounds like the name of someone who would have died in World War I. Yeah. You know what I mean, Flat? Yep. Yep. Not someone who would live, though. No. Trenchfoot. That's a grave name right there. Yeah. Definitely. It's a grave name. Run over by a tank. Sorry, Ralf.
Fell into a trench. And I gotta say, dude, the leader of your nation may very well have been a Kaiser, if you know what I mean. Here is DeMonte. Hello, Ted. Hello, Tucker. Hello, Jared. Um,
Pause. Pause. Pause. Okay, we got to address this before we move on. That's so funny, dude. It's so funny. It is so funny because all these little tiny deep cuts from across the Jay Schlatt universe are...
Mostly my fault. And they have to do with half the time they have to do with your name. People. So for context, Schlatt, you went on Anthony Padilla's show, right? And he, I watched it and he asked you at one point if your real name was Jared. Hooked up to a lie detector, by the way. Yeah. Hooked up to that one guy that does. The one guy. He did the Tommy video. He's done like every lie detector video of all time. He does all of them.
And you said, what was the result? I said, no. And this guy looked at me dead in the eyes and said, that's a lie. Yeah, no, he put his, it's even more brutally, he's like, he's putting his thumb, there's something real definitive about the fact that he puts his thumb down. Like that's, he's God.
But, yeah, no, so now everyone thinks... Everyone thinks my name is Jared. Yeah, that your name is Jared. But I know exactly where Anthony got that from because on Chuckle Sandwich, I put a different name every time in the description. But the default one is Jared. So the... And the...
So on the majority of the Chuckle Sandwich descriptions, it says this is a podcast by Ted Nimison and Jared Schlatt.
Oh, that's and it's so awesome. And you did. You came up with Schlagg, too. I did come up with Schlagg, didn't I? Yeah, that's like a deep cut from like 2019. These are deep cuts, dude. These are deep cuts. Yeah. I just want to be, you know, respected when we're saying all our names. Oh, dude, that scared me so much. Jared's okay. Jared's okay. That scared me so much when you said, I just want to be because I thought you were going to break out into the Total Drama Island theme song. I thought you were going to say, I just want to be famous.
You know? Let's read the next speak pipe. You don't like Total Drama Island? Are you okay? Do you have an aversion to Total Drama Island? No. No, I don't. I just want to move it along. I know. I just thought you would have loved that for some reason, and you kind of went...
You kind of went cold and then wanted to move on. So I was like, what the hell just happened? I watched the show back in the day, but I'd leave that in the past. You watch iCarly! What are you talking about, leave it in the past? I don't leave iCarly in the past. iCarly's a big part of my life, but Total Drama Island and the sequel Total Drama Action is not. So you know the sequel? I didn't even know the sequel.
Just saying. Just saying. We should move on. Okay, here's Demonte. Hello, Ted. Hello, Tucker. Hello, Jared. I've just got a question. So me and my boyfriend, we're at university and he's already had to redo year one. And I'm in year two now, but he's in year one again.
And he's just not taking university seriously again, which I'm scared is going to cause him to either drop out or have to redo the future years again, which will basically lead to us being long distance relationship. You're dating a deadbeat. Oh.
Dead beat. Drop his ass. What do you mean he had to redo a year of college? Were you being held back like in elementary school? He's paying for it? Sounds like brother smoking weed a little bit too much. Oh my God.
Anyone who's paying for their degree is not going to get fucking held back at college. Are you serious? Yeah. No, that's crazy. Is it a little mommy and daddy paying for it? Okay. Okay, son. Yes. We'll pay for the credits one more time because you flunked out. That's a man that's going to leech off of you every fucking second. You're going to be the breadwinner and he's going to spend it all. Yeah. No, usually the roles would be reversed. Usually the woman spends all the man's money.
Yeah, and I can tell by the accent, I'm going to use a regional reference here. He's just going to be sitting in the apartment, smoking weed, ordering Deliveroo, and fucking...
You gotta kill this guy. You gotta kill him. You have to kill this man. You have to kill him. Yeah, no. Yeah, drop his ass to the... Kick his ass to the curb. That's a deadbeat. You're dating a deadbeat. Preferably from a building. You know, maybe create a little Hansel and Gretel trail up to the top of a building. Little... What are they? What do you guys have? Tim Tams? Tim Tams? Tim Tams. No, what are those things that the Viking like to eat? The little dwarf? Mm-hmm.
You know that dwarf? One of those things that the Viking liked to eat, the little dwarf? The dwarf. You know what he likes to eat. Keebler? No, no, no. That's an elf. That's an elf. I'm thinking of...
- What are the dwarves? - Me? - Tucker's looking up what do dwarves eat on Google. You are the worst Googler I have ever- - On r/norsed. - I'm so- - Ted, this is what you asked. - No, I said what did the little dwarf eat? - What does this mean? The AI summary from- - No, the Minecraft dwarf. - Hold on, I need to read this out, bro. - No, the Minecraft dwarf.
- What do Viking dwarves eat? And then Google. - The Yogs cast Minecraft Dwarf. - Jaffa cakes? - Yes. - Yes, okay, thank you. This is what Google is these days.
What do Viking dwarves eat? And then it generates this. Yeah. Dwarves diet is very depending on their cultural background and lifestyle. In general, they eat hearty food that's easy to prepare for large groups like stews with meat and root vegetables. They're not real. Why is it? It's hallucinating. No, I mean...
it's also AI overviews are experimental it also says at the beginning yeah you tell me they're talking about dwarves like it's a real fucking thing this is why everyone puts Reddit at the end this comes from a Quora answer who's going on Quora man like put a dwarvesy
Oh, wow. Man, Joshua Engel, shut up, you nerd. We know a little, we know that dwarves eat more or less what elves, men, and hobbits eat. They happily devoured what? Bilbo's? Bilbo? Bilbo's? Oh, Bilbo's larder? What's that? That sounds like it's a different word for his nuts, dude.
No. No? You want more of Demonte? No, drop his ass. No, finish it off. Fucking deadbeat. He's not the deadbeat, though. Finish it off. Situation. Just play it. I definitely know that long distance will not work for me, and I'm getting quite worried because he's not taking it that seriously. Oh, fucking kill him. Murder him. Kill him. Yeah, no, kill him. Hansel and Gretel him to the top with little dwarf cakes, and
And then push him off the building. Get him off a building. Send him off a Big Ben. Fucking held back in college. What the fuck?
- Are you? - Yeah, they're pissing me off. - That's a nowhere in life. Going nowhere in life. - Hey, hey, hey, Shot, what do I do in this relationship that's going nowhere and I'm gonna be unhappy and I'm just gonna be watching a fucking person decompose in front of my eyes? - You probably need to love him unconditionally. - Oh, okay. Yeah, fuck you.
Speak Piper. Fuck you. Screw you. Never send one in again. Tucker, say something. Say something aggressive. Your boyfriend sounds like he sucks. Okay. That was good. We're going to do it one more time, though. I need a little bit more aggression. It didn't sound like you believed what you were saying. I was questioning it still. Your boyfriend's an asshole. Okay. Now, we were almost there.
I feel like we're right on the precipice. One more time and I think you're going to get it. Ready? Go for it. Your boyfriend fucking sucks. You have to break up with him. There it is. Snaps. Snaps.
All right, what's next? Dude, what the hell? I saw someone said horny cats in the notes. What's that about? It's about a cat relationship. Okay, let's hear that. So I have a problem with my cats. I have two male cats, Laundry and Moondog. Pause! Pause! Laundry and Moondog?
I thought she said Audrey. No, she totally said Laundry. Laundry and Moondog. I'm going to sound crazy if it's not Laundry. Play it again. Two male cats, Laundry and Moondog. Dude, it's got to be Laundry. They definitely said Laundry. They named that fucking cat Laundry. That's funny. That's funny. That's kind of like how I want to name, if I got a dog, I've considered wanting to name the dog Gas.
You know? I feel like that would be a pretty excellent name for a dog. Gas. Gas. You know? Like the petroleum product. Yeah. Yeah. I know. I was just making sure. All right. Keep playing it, Tucker. They came from the same litter.
And they're both neutered, completely ball-less. However, they still frequently get horny and will have gay incest sex with each other. And they will take turns mounting each other and...
I don't know what to do to stop it. I don't want to touch them when they're like that. I don't want to get between that. That's nasty. But whenever I yell at them, they don't stop. They keep going. I don't know what to do. They keep having sex on my bed. I don't even have that much sex on my bed. They have more sex on my bed than I have had sex on my bed. That's a funny thing to admit. I have to get my cats to stop having sex.
That'd be really funny. She's like going up to her room. She sees there's a little cat sock on the doorknob. Oh, man. Yeah, that's that. That sucks. I mean, no balls. They chopped the dick off in in neutering. Did they say they were male cats? Two males. Two males. What's Jambo do? Is Jambo trying to suck and fuck? No, he lays there a lot.
Jambo, don't fall, dude. Jambo, don't fall, dude. He looks like he's about to fall. He's very close to falling. He looks like he has an ice cream coming over the edge. Let me get him. Let me ask. Let me ask him. Oh, he's trying to get out of there. It's just so warm by the window. Jambo, does... When you... When... Oh, my... Oh, we're locked into this, aren't we?
Alright, we'll just take a 10 minute breather. Just put Schlatt on the screen for 10 minutes. Do you want to hear something really funny that happened one time, Schlatt?
So you'll enter into cat state sometimes on the podcast where you'll bring up the cat and you enter into this state where everything that, and I know what this is like, everything the cat does is like maybe infinitesimally more interesting to specific to just you than it is to anyone else who's watching your interactions with the cat. And,
I thought it was just me. It was a just you thing until I had my friend Mia's cat here, Zelda, and I was playing with it. But what makes it especially funny is that when Mia's cat was here on the podcast, I interacted with the cat for maybe five seconds. And your response was, all right, Ted, let's get the podcast back on track, please. Oh, man. It's just that Jambo's the best.
I couldn't have found a better cat. I couldn't have found a better cat. Look at this guy. Yeah, no, he's definitely a lover boy these days. He used to be a psychopath. Yep, he really mellowed out. And, you know, the other one who I've leaked, the name starts with a G.
So people think his name is Gumbo or maybe Gaylord now. Giovanni. You know, he gets on top. Giovanni. He mounts Jambo a little bit, but his dick doesn't work because he's got no balls left. So they don't fuck. He just kind of mounts and then he bites the little scruff of his neck off.
So Jambo kind of locks up. Yeah, that sounds like what's going on here in this speak pipe. I think it just makes her more uncomfortable than it does you. I think you see it and you're like, you're not going to get anything done there. There's no coming is going to happen.
So I've got no stake in this. Well, I try and break it up when I see it, but there's no penetration going on. You try to break it up? Like you're like your fucking assistant teacher or something at lunch? I'll spray the little... Stop it, guys. Stop fucking. But...
But, like, it sounds like Laundry and Moondog are actually having penetrative sex here. That's the way that they... And the fact that they have specified that they use the bed for it makes it sound like it's, like, a whole scene with, like, foreplay and music and lights and stuff. And scents.
That's what I'm saying. It's a little strange. It's a little strange. In which case, I'd get like a water sprayer, like a spritzer, and just spray him when that happens. Dude, I'd get a fucking fireman's cannon or whatever for that. Or just put him in diapers. Yeah.
Did you say put them in diapers? Yeah, put them in diapers. Do they sell cat diapers? Of course. Some cats are incontinent. Some cats can't control. I had a friend and I went to his house. Not a friend. That's a strong word. And his new puppy was in diapers. And I was like, it was disgusting. It was the worst thing I've ever seen. Never went back. Yeah, no, that's fucking weird. So dogs can be trained to poop properly. Just like babies...
Wait, why? That upsets me, Tucker. I kind of wish you didn't tell me that. Can you take that back? Nah, I can't. It's stuck. It's stuck, dude. I got to live with that every day that I saw that. They were filthy people. Filthy. Yeah, I mean, at least they... Dude. The old roommate of mine, you know the one. Oh my God, look at this guy. Look at this. Oh, he had the dog in a puppy diaper? Yeah. Yeah, the one with the dumbbells.
Yeah, the dumbbells and the one that posed with the biceps and the handle. Yeah. Yeah. No, they're filthy, dude. Oh, I got some stories about that guy. Yeah, no, this is one of Tucker's ex- We can talk about this. It doesn't fucking matter. This is one of Tucker's ex-roommates when he was in the Marines. And Tucker left or something. This was four or five years ago. This was 2017. Oh, wait. No, this was not four or five years. This was like...
2017, this is eight? This is seven years ago. This was seven years ago, Jesus Christ. And I think we might have been on Skype, actually, at the time. And Tucker left off to do, I think he went to switch over his laundry.
And the guy, it was like a Friday night. Guy's preparing, his roommate's preparing to, I don't know. They just get drunk. They just get hammered at 29 Palms. And that's because that's all there is to do. He's preparing to just get drunk. It's a miserable place with a shit lake.
But I was on Skype and I was witnessing this and I saw the guy pull out like a fucking handle of vodka and then like take a photo where he's holding up the handle and then he's throwing up one of his biceps and posing with it. It was awesome. But he thought he was alone. You know, he thought he was alone, but I was like literally like the security guard like looking at the cat just watching him as he's doing this.
Even though that blue C920 was staring at him. Yeah. What were we talking about originally? The cats. It's time to move on. No, it's time to give them an answer. Break it up. Diapers, spritzer. Diapers, spritzer, maybe... Oh, dude, start feeding them Mountain Dew instead of water. See what happens. Yeah, that is cool. Okay, here is...
That's cool. Yeah, I guess it is pretty cool to do, huh? Here's Cactus. Hey, Ted, fucker, and schlag. Thank you. Thank you. He's going to be great. I'm sitting here watching the podcast as I do, sipping on a Jack Daniels. Don't worry. I'm 18. This is the age to drink. This has got to be in the fucking Marines. Okay.
But, you know, the problem I'm having is that my partner just doesn't respect my alcoholism. And, Shlet, I want to know how you deal with that. I know you're such a problematic alcoholic, but you always rebound, so...
If you could get back to me on that, I'd really... Dude, this is like... Thanks. This sounds like a genuine alcoholic that is looking for advice from... From a fake alcoholic. From the Messiah, the fake Messiah of alcoholics. Like you've got in... It's like, yeah, it seems like... That's like...
He just seems so much like an alcoholic, but he seems like he gets everything. He always bounces back. He's got his shit together. He's a high functioner, you know? Dude, your Reddit was... Oh, bro, did you see that post? I did, I did. I saw it and I saw the update too because apparently you talked about it on your stream. For those of you who don't, can we talk about it? Yeah, yeah, go for it, go for it. For those of you who don't know, there was like, people were getting all parasocial.
with Schlatt and they were like I think he's actually a freaking alcoholic and guys I'm really freaking weird right now and then like there were so many comments where they were like yeah there it is Schlatt's alcoholism which is honestly at a base level it's nice to be concerned but that was two years ago this is a recent post on our oh yeah you gotta
So there was a post two years ago that had, oh yeah, this one, he's actually an alcoholic. He always jokes about it. He's always drunk. Yeah, wow, two and a half K. He is an alcoholic. So I want to set the record completely straight. I don't drink outside of this seat. Like actually, I don't.
I really like there's no reason outside of this fucking for content. I'm not drinking every night. I'm not an actual alcoholic. Yeah. To be honest, I was surprised when you did start the drinking things because I didn't know that you did drink at one point. Mm hmm. I thought you were straight as an arrow. I didn't take a sip. I didn't take a sip of alcohol till I was 21.
And there was a moment where it definitely, you know, that was all I was doing. Because when you don't do it for 21 years and then you get a taste and you're like, oh, this is actually awesome. Dude, I can't imagine waiting until I was 21. That must have been crazy. No, it wasn't. I didn't know anything. So I was like, all right. It wasn't crazy? No, it wasn't. It actually wasn't crazy at all. It's confusing.
No, no, no. I think you're confused on what I'm saying. I think what you're saying is that it was crazy, right? Because you were doing it all the time because you hadn't done it ever. Yeah. Yeah, so it was crazy. What are you talking about? It wasn't crazy. I'm confused. I agree. Um...
When I say, like, if I hadn't waited... I was saying, from my perspective, if I waited until I was 21, man, that would have been crazy to discover it after so... I had my first sip of alcohol and I was like, fuck it.
Oh, I thought, yeah. I had my first sip of alcohol when I was like fucking 16 or something. Yeah, I got you. I thought you were saying it would have been crazy to wait for 21 years. Yeah. And I was like, no, it wasn't really crazy because I didn't know what it was like. I remember the first time that I experimented with alcohol, which was just taking little swiggies from my parents' alcohol drawer. Yep. Tucker, did you ever do anything like that? No. No?
God fucking nerd. I was pretty straight as an arrow. You fucking bitch. So I would got the little I tried Jack Daniels I think was the first one I tried and I remember swallowing it and then it would I remember the feeling the first feeling ever of it going because when you first drink alcohol it's like
You don't really taste the alcohol at first. It's almost like you just get the flavor at the beginning. When you... Those first sips of alcohol. It doesn't burn or anything. So I remember it was like... Because I don't think your body really understands what's happening. So I took a sip of Jack Daniels and I was like, ooh, what's that? And it was like going down to my belly and I was like, oh, the...
Oh, it's like a weird little, little, the fire in the gut. Like I was like, I get it now. The fire in the, like, it was like a very novel experience. Immediately hooked. Yeah. And I remember one time, my parents sometimes listen to the podcast. So this is kind of funny. One time my parents weren't home or something. And, and I was like, I'm going to see what it's like.
to drunk drive now hold on whoa now hold on now hold on so i load a crazy thing so i load up i load up gta5 oh and i grab some alcohol and i'm like getting myself drunk by myself my parents house and i'm trying to like play gta5 and be like i'm like this shit is fucking easy meanwhile i'm fucking crashing into the cars and shit it's
Yeah. Yeah. Oh, not an alcoholic. I don't know what you want me to say. I found those posts very parasocial. Yeah. No, they were. No, they were. They were because obviously, obviously, there's going to be another. It's like, guys, the fact that he's denying it is like further proof that he needs help. Like somebody has to do something. Tucker really wants that to be the case. Tucker loves a little bit of drama. Yeah.
Tucker wants to complain about him. Parasocial as hell. Oh, Chuckle Reddit? Yeah. Well, really all Redditors. That's just the reality of it, you know?
They love it. I think once you're making posts on the Reddit page for a creator, you've already gone to Parasol. Even if you're subscribed to one. Honestly, I look, I see pretty much every post on the, on the, on the Chuckle Reddit. That's like my thing to do on the toilet. I will, I'll go down there and be like, what people saying about the new episode? Hmm.
And that's where I go to see what the true commentary is because that's where you get the most high highs and the lowest lows. Yeah, it's true. You can average out the consensus from the audience on certain stuff. Oh, yeah. Your partner doesn't support you in your alcoholism? You need to break up with that bitch.
She obviously doesn't care enough about your health. Yeah, she doesn't want you to have fun. She doesn't want you to have fun. And, you know, I really hate a bitch that doesn't want me to have fun. And so does God. God hates a bitch that doesn't want to have fun. God hates a bitch. Speaking of God, Cecilia is looking for some advice about her parents in the church. Oh, let's fucking go, dude. Play it.
Hello, Shlatt, Ted and Tucker. So for a while now, I've been going through a rough patch with my parents. European? Ever since I got confirmed, I've stopped going to church consistently. And even though it's been about a year since that time, my parents still nag me to go with them to church. And whenever I'm eating, my dad always tells me to pray and thank God for the food and
I have nothing against the religion itself, but being introduced to it like it's some type of chore I gotta do every day makes me not want to engage with religion at all. And I also think my parents are starting to dislike me because of this, so I don't know what to do. Yeah, that's it.
Unless your parents are really fucked up, I don't think they could dislike you for not... Unless they're like... Actually, I don't know. Maybe they actually don't like you. Yeah, I actually would... I do have a capacity to be surprised. I think my... I really... My parents... I gotta get a pair of parents, so this might... I might have like a shitty perspective on how bad parents could get. You should just start loving God more. Yeah. And then you wouldn't have a problem. Do you not thank God for the food? Like...
He made it. You're not grateful to be here every day? That's strange. Yeah, you think that, like, in all of the 6,000 years this planet has existed, God could have just gotten rid of it. I don't know what you just said. You just kind of mumbled at the end. Dude, no, I didn't. I was thinking, I don't think I was going to get rid of it. And the whole 6,000 years that the Earth has existed, God could have killed it at any moment. He could have started over. He could have made a big flood...
He tried. He definitely did try. Yeah. You're in for a rough time with your parents. Yeah, I feel like religion is when it's forced on people, that's the quickest way to make someone not religious.
It's like a city slicker having to live in the city their whole life and then wanting to move out somewhere quiet. Or a rural head, little farmer boy living in a farm his whole life wanting to move to the big city. You know? You want the opposite of what was forced upon you. Yeah. That's usually how it goes. Usually it's opposites. You know? Yeah. You know? You've been fucking pussy your whole life. Maybe you want to try something new. Was that related to what we were talking about? Or are you just saying that? Huh? Huh?
All right, Tucker, what's the next one? What do you guys want? What do you want? Do you have any notes that stick out to you? Flirting confusion. No prom advice. What's up, Ted, Slat, and Tucker? I have one quick question for you guys. I feel like you're going to sell us something. So what do you think I should do in this situation? I have a girl who I have already talked about
Going to prom with as friends. It was my idea agreed to it. We've talked about it But then there's another girl who is going to the same college as me who asked to go to prom I'm not I don't know what I should say to that other girl. I'm very bad at saying no it's a really big problem that gets me into a lot of issues because I don't want to hurt anybody's feelings and
So I'm looking to you guys for advice on what I should say to this other girl, especially because it's somebody that I'm going to be seeing in college. I think your hot pocket's done. Because we've already done the plans and everything. I'm going as friends with this other girl. So what do you guys think I should say to the girl who asked? You say, sorry, I have someone I'm going with already. You fucking man up, dude. Yeah, just say, sorry, I have previous plans with my friend.
And I don't think it would be very cordial to them if I went to prom with you, person who is in college and doesn't go to this high school or whatever. This is weird. Or, Ted, you say yes to both and...
And then you do a little double like a fucking movie style where every five minutes you switch to the other one and you're like, oh, sorry, sorry. Let's keep dancing. And then you're all on the dance floor together. And then you're like, oh, I got to go. I'll be right back. Yeah, dude. And then you go to the other one. Dude, yeah. And he goes, oh, I'm going to go get a sponge. He comes back, returns back, doesn't have the punch. Oh.
Oh, I forgot the punch. Let me go back. I'll be right back. Yeah, and then it, like, keeps progressing where it just, like, keeps leaving faster and faster. Yeah, no, I love that. Oh, that's a great idea, Schlatt. No, yes, that's actually what they should do. Screw the whole speak in your mind thing and, like, screw the whole, like...
You know, it's better to speak your issues now rather than deal with the consequences later because it, you know, it establishes early on a better understanding of your own personal boundaries. That's too healthy. And a way to communicate with people. Too healthy. No, we shouldn't do that. We should...
Yeah, I like that, dude. That's a great idea. We should make it as difficult as possible. I'm going to give this for the first time ever on this podcast right now, Schlatt. I'm going to give a chuckle gold star to you for that idea. Emma, please put a chuckle gold star on Schlatt's camera for the rest. Just in the upper right-hand corner, just put a little gold star for the rest of the episode. Schlatt has earned a chuckle gold star.
No, that's great. Oh, there it is. I see it. Oh, wow. It's so beautiful. You're welcome for that. Thanks for that. You're welcome for that. That's huge. Audio listeners, love you to death. It is a beautiful golden star. Beautiful. Beautiful, beautiful, chuckle golden star. Dude, I'm actually hyped. It took over 100 fucking episodes to get one. I didn't even know that was the thing we were doing. I didn't even think that was a thing. It's always been an option. It wasn't really...
Really, you know, and some might argue that I just thought of it right now, but that's not true. I've been waiting this whole time to... Since I thought of the podcast, I was like, and I can't wait to give my first gold star, but I've been disappointed this whole time. Ted's had a giant golden buzzer on the test page. Yeah, dude, it's actually... Fuck. Yeah, no, the buzzer's right here.
Well, I'm honored. I'm honored. I'd like to thank the Academy. And you also have the power to give a gold star, Shlatt. Tucker has the power to give a silver ribbon, though. Silver ribbon? Actually, silver's your color, Ted, and gold's mine. No, we're not talking about jewelry right now, all right? Lock in, buddy. Lock in. Oh, okay. You have the power to give a silver ribbon, you understand? A ribbon. Silver ribbon.
A silver ribbon like the ones that you see for people walking for breast cancer but with a little insignia on it too. Would the gold star that Schleck got have your face on it, Ted? No.
No, no. It's got the Chuckle logo on it. It's the Chuckle. We're seeing it right now. It's literally right there. It's not the Ted Gold Star. It's the Chuckle Golden Star. It's the Chuckle Gold Star. Well, I would give Schlatt the Chuckle Silver Ribbon for... And the Silver Ribbon is the Cherub Crest. That's what we call that. For that Hot Pocket Comet. You like the Hot Pocket Comet? Yeah, that was the funniest thing. Oh, my God, dude. The Ribbon now, too? Schlatt's got a Chuckle Gold Star. Oh, my God.
And a chair of crest. Now you're killing it today, dude. I'm blessed today. I'm blessed. I got to thank God for this moment. Wow. Thank you. Wow. Thank you all. Okay. I think we could do one more. Yeah, one more. I'm about to pass out, so I think I could do one more. One more. But this one's long. It's two minutes. Girlfriend hates my art. Oh, dude, I'm excited for that. Here's Vova.
Hi, Tucker. Hi, Schlatt. Hi, Ted. My name is Vladimir. Friends call me Vova. I know how stupid it sounds in English. Shut up. I live in Belarus. Don't bother. You don't know what it is. Quick word before we get on to this topic. I know what Belarus is, dude. Tucker Mann, recently saw your condiment list video. Pure bliss. Where I live, there's maybe half of what you guys have.
So proud of you, man. You better get these two on a fishing trip soon. Schlatt, my big guy. Wait, can you pause real quick, Tucker? Also, banger energy. I just want to let you know, dude, this is nothing against you, but when I come to answering your question, I'm going to do an imitation of your accent, and that's purely because it's funny to me and because I am, as some would say in, I believe Belarus is a Soviet satellite state,
filthy American thing to do. Is that correct, Tucker? Okay, I played. Shlat, my big guy. Banger drift video. I'm sorry. I love the accent. Let him talk. I love the accent. It's awesome. I've been laughing my ass off. Ted, hi. Guys, I need advice. I'm also drunk right now.
I have a really good girlfriend, all five years. We totally plan on marrying each other.
Dude, I love this fucking guy's voice. She shows love and care, and we both love each other dearly. But anytime I try to express myself in art... Ed, shut the fuck up. This can't be real. He's like, we love each other very much. We've been dating for five years now. We love each other very much.
I love it, dude. It's so good. But any time I try to express myself in art or music or anything like that, she just pours a bunch of shit on me. Like she disses my art aggressively. That's crazy. She doesn't mean to offend me. I know she like tells how she feels, but I like feel no encouragement from her when I share my work. Yeah.
She does encourage me in other aspects. Maybe I'm just a shit artist. Maybe. I feel like she has some kind of autism. Maybe that is. I just wonder what you guys would do. You can't tell me that this is not... Sorry, guys. My English is not my first language. Nice talking to you guys. Bye. Bye.
I think you're just a shit artist, bro. I think you're just a shit artist. He did not say that. He did not say that about his girlfriend. I think that the name of the shit is autism. You can't say that. Oh, that's so fucking funny. Oh my God. I'm so happy you played this, Tucker. This is my favorite part.
So Tucker, and for this SpeakPipe choice, I'm going to give you... Wow, these are losing value by the second. No, no, this is different. This is different. Oh. You are going to get a bronze little chuckle. A bronze little chuckle? Yeah, you're getting a bronze little chuckle because it's a very funny bit.
And we already gave away the silver and the gold stuff today, so you have to have the bronze little chuckle. Okay. Thank you. I'll put it right here up on my wall. Oh, no, it goes in the upper right-hand corner. This is my upper right, is it not? No, it's not. No, you got to understand how this stuff works, Tiger. There you go. Okay. Ah, nice, nice, nice. Yeah, no, that's...
I like barely remember what his thing was because I was so I was enraptured with his voice. Is that a proper word to use in this scenario? I think so. I was encapsulated with his vocal cords in the way that his lips formed words. So I remember the problem. It's that he likes to express himself well.
in various different art forms and his girlfriend shits on him for it as in doesn't appreciate it critiques it criticizes it and doesn't he doesn't feel encouraged to keep doing it dude that's so crazy but it sounded like i didn't care what you said schlapp but i did actually care that's crazy um that is crazy dude that's hey bummer bummer man
My response would be if your significant other is all not supporting your work is all it takes for you to stop doing the art, then you need to find a different internal reason for you to be making the art. If, if making the art is what you want to do, like, like, you know,
There's always going to be people who criticize. No, Tucker made a confused face. Well, you seem to be attacking not the relationship, which is what they're seeking advice on. You're giving them advice on why they should keep making art, not the reason like their girlfriend. Well, the girlfriend doesn't matter. It's the art that matters. And the art will prevail. The art will prevail. So you're saying get rid of her.
I say bring her out to the fields of Chernogorsk and shoot her in the head and then skin and quarter her. You could do that. And then there's a slight chance you get a human skull. And there's a slight chance you get a human skull. And then if you cook her meat and you eat it, you got to be careful though because if you go to a military base, you get a gun and stuff later on. Start laughing. Yeah, you'll start laughing and it'll make your hand shake. You don't want that.
you don't want that but can't have the shaky hands can't have the shaky hands god man what i i we gotta dude we should do a podcast we should go to like one of the soviet satellite stage slat we should do a podcast there they're gonna say we should do it from within az
Sitting around the campfire. That would be fun. I would do that. We could do that sometime. Hey, how about this? You love expressing yourself on the canvas and maybe in your tracks and beats. How about you express yourself to your girlfriend and tell her how it makes you feel when she says those mean things about something you put a lot of time into. How about that? Whoa, this is gold star behavior. How about that? Well, I already got a gold star. Well, I know. That's why I'm saying this is a
This is great. I'm defending my title. Yeah. You can't... Okay, well, let me clarify. You can't lose the gold. That actually would be kind of interesting, but there's only three of us here, and Tucker doesn't have any power, so you can't lose the gold star. You gave out two awards, and I gave out one. I think that... I haven't given one out. Well, what did you give out? I think if you give one, you have the power to retract it. What did you give out? You gave out the silver ribbon. Oh, yes. The chest. Yes, the...
Cherub crest silver ribbon is what it's called. And I have the power to rescind that. So that's what you're deciding that? Yeah, it's my ribbon. Fuck off. Okay. All right. So, all right. Yeah, no, but you can't rescind the gold star unless you put an injunction with the chuckle court.
You have to file emotion. Dude, I'm just making it universe and then everything just begins with chuckle and that's how it works. Hey, man, that's so chucklecore, man. That's how all of my naming convention for chuckle has always gone. It's just put chuckle at the beginning and then that works. That's chucklecore right there. Chucklecore chuckleweed. That's good. Yeah, talk to your girlfriend about it. You know, you're a close friend of mine.
back in the plague and I must say you make art for self not for dirty expensive woman you should look into heart look into your heart and find your truth dude I love that guy's voice
I wish I could do what he does with his voice. It's incredible. I have the same fascination with that accent as I do with an Australian accent, where it's like, man, I could listen to someone speak like that all day. Sorry, I just had to gush about his sweet little voice. No, it's fine. It's fine. I think that's completely normal to ogle over a man's voice. Yeah. Some men have really nice voices. Like JFK. JFK.
Duggar is revealing his JFK fetish on this episode of the podcast. He was Catholic. He was Catholic. And he took us to the moon. Because it is hard. Thanks for watching, everybody. Thanks for watching, guys.
