Unhinged Conversations ft. MeatCanyon
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Listen, I can't speak for these two, but I really, really like your content. I just have to ask, because it's been on my mind... I can't speak for these two. It's a very polite way of going about it. This has been on my mind for a while, okay? Yeah. Where is the Meat Canyon? I don't know. People say...

People keep saying it's like pussy lips. That means like pussy lips. So maybe downstairs, down north or down south, whatever. Maybe it refers to an asshole. I get a lot of people saying all sorts of different definitions that I've never heard about. The Meat Canyon can be an asshole. It's not yours, though? Is the Meat Canyon your asshole? No.

It's not. Actually, no, I can't. Whose asshole is the Meat Canyon? I think it's open for interpretation. Oh, interesting phrasing. So is the Meat Canyon like the gooch? Is it the taint? Yeah, I would say. If I had to put it on a body part, I'd say it's the taint for sure. The rigid taint. It's the uncanny valley. That's good. Yeah, like a 45-year-old taint. Dark and hubris. Nice.

A dark, dark valley. Well-aged. Seasoned, yeah. Usually, we have to ask people what part of the sandwich they are when they come on, but I think you've actually answered it perfectly. Meat Canyon, you're the taint of the sandwich. And that's, I think that's beautiful. I would say I have a pretzel bun. Ooh, actually, I really like that. That's better than taint. I'd rather eat that sandwich. You know what, Schlatt? Many things are. Welcome to Chuckle Sandwich. We've got Meat Canyon on today.

Hey, check this one out guys. Nice to meet you. Oh, dude. I got something real great. I'm gonna go. I'm gonna bounce out of that Charlie and I think it's gonna be great. Oh man, uh, me, me Kenyon. I'd love to see your meat. Wait, uh, dude. Hey, yo. Hey, yo. Jeez, man. Wow. That was very forward.

Hey, man. In a lot of places, people would say that's a bit of a red flag. I mean, how else am I supposed to respond when today on the Chuckle Sandwich podcast, we've got an Adonis of a man, Meat Canyon...

on the podcast. Look at him. He's beautiful. He's shining like a shining star, the brightest star in the sky. He's going supernova. Sit down, Polaris, or whatever that star is. He's heading towards the Earth! Can anyone stop him?

They thought it was an asteroid that killed the dinosaurs. We've got Meat Canyon. Say goodbye to your loved ones. He's coming in. He's coming in. He's coming in. He's in charge. He's going to be landing superhero style, and he's going to do that little head flip up and just look at the camera and just go, oh. Welcome to the podcast, Mr. Meat Canyon. Yeah.

We're so excited to have you here. You've been in one of my videos. We've seen your stuff online for fucking months, years. I feel like I've seen it all my life. Yeah, I think it's lived within our hearts our whole life, sort of the content that you make online. But I mean, for those of you who don't know Meat Canyon, he runs the channel Meat Canyon. You know...

Listen, the only thing you need to know about Meat Canyon is that he made that one where Bugs Bunny slaps the hunter's ass and talks about boy pussy. He really gets in there, too. Yeah. Oh, he does. Did you draw that when Bugs Bunny was just getting in that ass? Yeah, my dad came up. My dad was the person, though, when I was like eight. He said man pussy for the first time, though, and that stuck with me for a long time. Your dad said man pussy? Yeah.

Yeah, we saw the Texans. It was the first year the Texans were an NFL team. And this guy bent over and you could see his balls, but it was perched up like that in the back. Kind of looked like a brain. And they didn't call it a goat back then. My dad said, look at that man pussy. How old were you? I was seven. This explains a lot. So it was one of those things where I just didn't really even know what that meant. It's the origin story. It stuck with me. It is, yeah.

so go texans right houston that was the beginning of your your love for smashing two words together and just rolling with it yeah i was like that's it compound words i'm all about it let's get it when did you when did you first think of the was it was me canyon the name as a username was that like sort of uh something that you thought of like when you're like a kid or something or like younger when you're just like that's funny roll with it and then it just kind of it just kind of ended up being the brand

Nah, I just put in a name generator. Oh, really? About it. Really? A name generator? Just blast. That's about it, yeah. No shot, man. Everybody kept talking about name generators and stuff, and I was like, damn, I better check it out. I don't even remember what I put in. I think I just put in, like, fat and large or something. Something along those lines, and it just said Meat Canyon. Wow. So I was like, whatever. Wow.

My now wife, then girlfriend was like, that's a terrible name. And I was like, I'm just going to roll with it. So whatever. Better than man pussy, right? I mean, what are you going to do? Yeah. So I wanted it at first. I'm like, I have this great story. My dad.

That's how Childish Gambino got his fucking name. That's how a lot of people did. I did not have luck with generated names. I think the one Xbox gave me, because, you know, C-Nanners, he got his from making a fucking Xbox account, and it just gave him C-Nanners, and then he's just like, fuck it. No shot. Was that really? Yes. That was the randomly generated fucking username that Xbox gave him. And I distinctly remember when I made my Xbox account, it gave me FunKibbles.

That's a good one. Fun kibbles. Fun kibbles. You know what that would mean? You'd have to be. That would mean that, like, if you followed that timeline up until now, your avatar, like, whatever the character, it would be like a dog. And, like, all of your merch would be like a dog. Dude, I can't imagine. Consuming kibble. And it's like...

That'd be cute. That'd be a nice cute one. I can't imagine looking at your face. Yeah, and just saying, what do you got to say, Kibbler? Somebody out there draw Schlatt as like an angry dog with a New York Yankees hat on just consuming kibble and just complaining about Hillary Clinton. What's munching? That's my intro.

You've never had an intro. Why would you, if you were a dog, suddenly have an intro? What's munching? What's munching, Kibblers? I don't think I've ever heard of sea nanners and fucking kibble. I always felt like the Xbox ones I always got were like Archangel, or they always made it seem like a gamer username. You know what I mean? It's always like Archangel, like seven, and they always had the numbers after it. So I don't know. I never got the fun little baby...

Little baby names. The sea nanners and the kibbles and all that stuff. Yeah, I was like Robot Mongoose. Robot Mongoose? That's a pretty good one. I don't know. When I was a kid, I was always a, you know, I believed in my own ability to be creative. So my first email username that I ever made on Gmail was, I was a fan of tigers. So I decided it would be a good idea. And this makes me kind of sound like a psychopath as a kid, but I...

My first Gmail username was TigerKillYou1 at Gmail.com. Tiger Kill You? Tiger Kill You. So, first of all, caveman speak. Apparently, I hadn't fully grasped the English language, even though I could make an email account. And I decided that the coolest thing a tiger could do is kill you. So, Tiger Kill You was taken. Yeah. Okay. That makes sense.

My first email address was Goblin Man. That was also my username on a myriad of online flash games. You should have stuck with that, man. That is so much fucking better than Shlap. Goblin Man. Do you remember your first email name? I combined my two dogs' names. Hey Caesar. My dad named our beagle Hey. Like H-E-Y and then...

We had a dog named Caesar, so I just did, hey, Caesar, with like 11, which I'm pretty sure was my baseball number when I was a kid or something like that. I was like, hey, Caesar, 11. There it is. I remember that. That's funny because it sounds like in giving a dog the name hey, was that just not an act of laziness that whenever you wanted to get the dog's attention, all you got to do is yell, hey! Hey!

Well, that's exactly what it was, because beagles, they run away a lot, so then my dad would yell, hey, you know, hey. He thought that was a real knee slapper, you see, my dad. Right. Yeah, my dad thought that was a good time. Yeah. Gets confusing with greetings, though. It is. It is. Someone comes over and they're like, hey, how's it going? Yeah, like, which one, you know?

Well, that's the wonder. That is the thought process behind my father's name choice for my dog. Didn't Bud Light or Bud do a Super Bowl commercial where they named the dog something like that? And every time they say it, it brings a beer?

No? Okay. I'm sorry, man. That dredged up now. How dare you, Schlatt? No Super Bowl? No Super Bowl watchers? Bring back Goblin Man. Yeah, bring back... Okay. I want Goblin Man, Schlatt. I don't want Super Bowl commercial watcher Schlatt. I want you and the rest of the country. Give me a break, loser. Your email is the nicest and most normal by far, man. I love it.

man. I cannot imagine at eight years old writing goblin man in a fucking email field. I was the goblin man. What do you want me to say? I wasn't sending emails to be like, who was I sending emails to?

When you guys made your emails as a kid... I was dropping notes off in the cave for the goblins. I wasn't sending emails. When you were fucking 11 years old, were you writing emails? Were you like fucking wheeling and dealing? Or was it just to sign up for shit? Yeah, absolutely. Yeah, you're not sending emails and putting fucking goblin man in the from section. I always liked the idea of the emails though. When you register and not always reply back, thank you.

Oh yeah, the automatic thing. They'd like to click and I'd reply back, be like, "Thank you." And I'm like, "I'm such an adult now." With my little email conversation with this fucking robot.

Thank you. Sincerely, Goblin Man. Sincerely, Goblin Man. Hope your family is well. Your best, Goblin Man. Where's the Goblin category of the inbox? That's what I'm looking for. Dude, I'm telling you, Goblin Man was cladded up back in the day. I was on the high score list of this old school Flash game that is no longer available anymore. It's called Zwock.

I don't know if any of you guys have ever heard of this shit. If it rings a bell, no? It was like worms, but for snowball fights.

It's like you had these little tiny characters that would jump around before the end of the game, before the end of the round. You pick, you know, where you want to send a snowball. And then at zero, everyone throws at the same time. It's basically worms, but with snowballs. Was that one of the ones you could play during school? Like if you went to a computer lab, is that one of the ones you would do there? Oh, yeah. That's definitely one of the ones. I always feel like Robot Unicorn Attack and like this Marshmallow like jumping block game. Those are the two when I was younger. Dude, I had...

I was getting it going with powder when I booted that up in windowed mode. Do you guys ever do powder? It's the one where at powder game you get all the different blocks and you can combine them.

You know what I'm talking about? No, I don't. Never heard of that. Sounds like some sort of math game. Not a fan. It's not a math game. Yeah, you would play a fucking math game. No, I tabbed out of learn to type just to do this. I'm cool. Learn to type games, though, are sweet. Which ones? You are right. The ones where you have to spell the word correctly to fend off...

I don't know, missiles getting shot at a fucking castle or something like that. Yeah, dude, those are fun. Those are fun. Incredibly stressful, though, for sure. Yeah, yeah. I experienced what a panic attack was at a very, very age. Fuck, fuck. Fingers on F and J. Fingers on F and J. I didn't write definitely fast enough. The teacher walks over with one of those covers for the keyboard and puts it over. She's like, good luck.

You're like, no! Fuck that. I still don't know where they are. I mean, I have to look down. Oh, you don't know where they are, Charlie? You don't know where the fuck they are? Put this in your pipe. Put this in your fucking pipe and smoke it. Oh, look at that. Nothing. What? Nothing.

Nothing. Audio listeners love you to death. That doesn't fucking count. You're sending mail to goblins. They can't read. Nothing. I'm the goblin man, bitch. I am the goblin man. I know I can't read. You just got a really thick New York accent. I'm the fucking goblin man. I need some fucking gabagool. I got to go to Joseph A. Bank.

So speaking of... L.L. Bean. Speaking of school growing up, Mr. Meat Canyon, you know, I feel like I somewhat potentially could relate to you in the sense, you know, I assume that you've been making drawings, making, you know, the goopy...

grimy stuff that you've been doing online for a while. Did that like, I assume that that started, were you a doodler? And when you were growing up in, you know, elementary school and high school and stuff, were you a doodle guy?

I did a little doodle. I did a little doodle from time to time. I was big into Spawn. That was my big thing. Spawn? I liked Spawn a lot. Spawn? Oh, like the comic book character? Yeah, the Todd McFarlane comic book. He has demons from hell and shit. He used to always show tons of gum and teeth and all that stuff. All that kind of shit always got me really good. I always thought that was really, really cool. Are you a fan of the Guillermo del Toro movies then?

Yeah, I think it took me a little bit to get into it because I think everybody goes to that stage of like if you appreciate, I don't know, like certain films or certain things, it takes you a second to get into that realm. Right. I don't think anybody can sit down and just be like Pan's Labyrinth. What a concept, you know, and be like, wow, it's

It's like, man, my favorite movie was 300, but then I saw Pan's Labyrinth and it all turned around for me. It's a bit of a step. But yeah, I would definitely say as I got older, I really love Guillermo del Toro and all that stuff he does. Especially Hellboy when I was younger. I think a good intro to his movies is Hellboy for sure because it's got that sort of blockbuster feel to it, but it's also got that just freaky grime. Honestly...

Now that I think about it, I mean, like, you're the level in which you create this sort of absurdity with how you make your characters. For those of you who don't know, Meat Canyon is an animator online. I know that Shalad doesn't think he needs an introduction. But for those of you who don't know about him, he's a very, very talented animator behind the Meat Canyon channel.

He works with a team to create these animations that are, you know, they could be like random commentary on YouTube culture, but just absolutely taken to the most absurdist, darkest, sometimes extent of just grime. I don't even know how to like... Yeah, let's not beat around the bush. They are all unsettling, right? Yeah, incredibly unsettling. But it's in a good way. I like it. Yeah. What was your like first...

video that you posted that was in this sort of same category of the content you make now with the Meat Canyon channel.

Probably the Pinocchio one. That was like the one that blew up. Oh, I've seen that. Super, super simple. And like by today's standards for my channel, it's like pretty shitty. But it's like that was like the first time where I was just like, I'm just going to combine my loves of like the horror and shit and just put it in there as well. And it seemed to resonate with people. So it's been fun trying to figure out that trajectory of like,

the line of like weird uncomfortable stuff that feels kind of horror-esque or like thriller or something and write that with comedy in a weird way because sometimes there's like no comedy but like there's comedy on the channel so people are like oh that's hilarious right you know i mean and i think it's just because you don't really know how to respond the line is blurred besides just being like right yeah yeah whatever but so was there a point where you sort of

because I think some of the videos that do generally the best or some of the highest performing like on average ones on your channel are the ones that are about like

about situations that are going on with YouTubers or about, you know, YouTubers that are people of notability. Did you like originally go in being like, oh, I want to make these sort of recreations of these people that exist? Or was it like, oh, I could, because it kind of, at a certain point, it kind of turned into like a, in some ways, like a commentary on stuff. Like I've seen you do one on like David Dobrik, where you kind of talk about like,

you know, how he buys all these cars for people. And then it's like, he's give, it's, it's sort of making fun of how he's always giving cars to people. And it sort of became, it's, it's in one way, it's like this ridiculous thing and it's also comedy, but at other ways, it's like, has this sort of mix of also being a commentary on your opinions, your personal opinions on like these creators. So like you crucified Tommy in it. That was fine.

Yeah. I mean, like, I think it's always just like with especially like Tommy where it isn't really even a commentary on himself. I think it's just about how like I feel like Minecraft, at least there for a little bit. I mean, it probably still is. It feels like a new religion and stuff with how devoted people are to these people and these things and stuff. And it's like they raise them up in this weird way. And just like a fun parallel of like reaching godhood. And he's so young, too. So it's like.

It felt like a fun thing to like transform and you yourself are like, you know, a God in this game and getting like put into the game and being held up to such a high degree. Right. Just fun visuals and stuff. Um,

You know, like, everything else, though, I mean, you know, I don't ever try to make it, like, where it's, like, you know, fuck this person. Sure. It's never supposed to be, like, malicious. Like, yeah, David Dobrik, he, like, buys his friends, but, like, at the end, he has, like, giant tits, and they all feed from him, and it's, like, funny, and it's, like, his whole, it's his whole, like, uh...

It's this whole shtick, you know? Yeah. But it's like – and no way in it is just like, this is the problem with David Dobrik, you know? Because I don't know if I'm the person to really do that when I'm trying to make these like goofy cartoons or something. Sure. Yeah. But then you have like fun parallels like Nikado Avocado, that one. Yeah, I was about to bring that up. Yeah. Yeah, you have like the fun parallels of like fame and what you do to –

you know, the parallels with like King Midas and him, I think are pretty fun where it's like, you know, everything he touches turns to grease. But at this state, it's just like his whole shtick is like creating his whole life and channel is like a soap opera now. And it's like how you adapt your own personal life to fit your content and growth and monetization and stuff. And you

you can find some fun narratives in that way too. Were you surprised when Nakato responded to that? Did you have like a feeling that they probably would or like, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, based off whatever, everything else that he's done, he milks the shit out of it. So I figured he'd do a couple ones and he has. You have to assume at that point, because you know what, you know what I think of when I see shit like that? I think of that iCarly episode. Remember when they met Fred?

Oh, right. Alarmingly, I do. They had that big fucking controversy, and then they met up. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Fred got real pissed at...

Yeah, Fred Figglehorn. Okay, yeah, yeah. Fred got real pissed at the iCarly troupe. Now I'm lost. The real Fred, right? The real human Fred Figglehorn. John Cena's dad. And then they started some big fucking drama. And iCarly was like, Fred, what are you doing? Why do you hate us? And then Fred was like, no, I don't hate you. Look at how many numbers you have now. And they looked and they're like, oh, fuck, iCarly's... This is the biggest the show has ever been. And then Fred's like...

You know. You're welcome. You're welcome, motherfucker. That voice of Fred you did was one of the scariest things. I almost said most haunting. I already used that for you once. It's always a chilling experience listening to you do things sometimes. Hey, listen. No, I love you. The goblin man pulls no punches. What can I say? What can I say, bro? Letting the big horn out. Oh, man.

I mean, it's also like YouTubers are fun to just make videos on because we exist on the same site. Right. You know, like everybody's probably heard of that person. Yeah, there's already context for it. Right. Have you ever made an animation on Fred? Sorry for interrupting you.

No, no, you should. He's he's really funny. He's big. You'd like him. You could do like Fred 10 years down the line. Like you could. I'm sure you could find something ridiculous. It's such a hard line to walk, though. You have to like choose your subjects pretty carefully. And you have to like because it's like all these ideas are so weird because it's like it's borderline. I always tell people that like my stuff is also like borderline cringe of like it's just like.

it rides that line pretty well of like self-aware kind of cringe of right uh having that revolting feeling of being like a god yeah you know um fred it's just like what i mean he had like what three nickelodeon movies and he hasn't like put is he is he on youtube still he's lucas now yeah he dropped the whole fred personality oh so he's okay yeah because back in the day when it was uh when when fred was all big and he was the biggest guy on the site whatever i remember i was always like

Yeah, he's his dad or something like that. I remember I liked the channel that was like MakeMeBad35. He had like a similar thing. And I was like, this guy's so much better than Fred. MakeMeBad, holy shit. MakeMeBad35, that's my boy. Yeah. I remember back in the day, I was like, show my mom the videos. And she's like, what the fuck is this? What even is this? I'd have her like – because they didn't have internet at my house. So I'd have to like – she'd come pick me up at my friend's house. And I'm like, you have to see this.

She'd come to my friend's basement and be like, watch this! And it was like one Tourette's guy video and then like one Make Me Bad 35 video. And she's like, okay, great. Well, we're going home. Let's leave. This has secured my non-interest in having internet for the household. There is so little YouTube that ages gracefully. I love it. There's like so little you can go back to. It's wild how much things have changed and like, what is it? I mean, I guess it's more than, man, it's

15 years. It's kind of wild that it's only been around for that long given how much of a fucking powerhouse it is now. So when did you... You currently have a team for your animations and stuff like that. When did you get to the point where you were like...

you had a team for a long time or like, did you get to a point where you're like, this is too much. I need to like start building something out here so I can actually, I just, I mean like I think with anybody, I think that when you start getting traction on your channel, you just like, look like how can I keep evolving in a way where it still feels familiar, but you're putting more like care and thought into what you're making and stuff. And especially with animation, it's just like, you know, we're doing these turnarounds that are crazy, but like the cartoons look like shit. So I was like,

Man, it'd be cool to get more people on this and, like, have it be, like, a really good-looking tune or at least more, like, better-looking. Right. And still have that same kind of turnaround date and have it be something that does feel more professionally produced, like, more attention to the actual, like, structure of the video. Yeah. And then, like, focusing more on, like, the content and, like, you know, writing and all that other shit, too. Yeah, because you don't even use, like, background.

royalty free music or anything you have like a composer for like the music and the stuff too which I think is really cool that like you know you're making like little tiny you know films on in many ways

Yeah, I mean, I'm trying, you know, just trying to, and like, that's the thing too, is just like, it also just interests me, like making something cool or like having a composer make something and you can like, I don't know anything about music theory, but I can at least like articulate my thoughts of like, you can give references, like, yeah, like the Ducato video, he can play like violin beautifully in real life. So like, I was like, we really need to have like, I want violins to build up in the back to build that suspense and

for his like realization shit. And it's like that kind of subtle undertone of things. That's like, you might not pick up on, but it's like there. And there's like, some people are like, Oh, the violin part's awesome. And that's always cool to see. Yeah.

That's cool because you also do your research on like... Man, this makes me want commentary that you do on a fucking other channel over all this shit because I never would have picked up on any of this, man. Well, he does have another channel. He's got Papa Meat. Do you do like analysis on the videos and everything? I try not to. I just feel so like self-mask-atory. Yeah, I was going to say like if you're already kind of in the valley there. You guys won't even believe what I came up with.

I had this great idea to have violins in the background. I woke up my wife. I was like, I fixed it. I know what it is.

Goblin man came to me in a dream. Yeah. Well, you actually did talk about the violin thing in the... Because you did a reaction video to the Mikado. Yeah, I thought it'd be funny to do a reaction of his reaction. Right. It felt fair. I watched that whole video. I thought it was great. I was laughing along with you. You were having a great time in that video. Oh, dude. That was great. He fat shamed me. That was so funny. He was so fucking funny in that. He was like...

Yeah, he dragged my ass a couple times. It was really, really funny. Dude, he chose the most baller picture of you, though. I know. I was like, of all the things he could show us.

Yeah, I was like, what the fuck? I was like, this might be great. It looks like a 70s Puerto Rican drug overlord. Yeah, it's like a photo of you in a car with sunglasses on. Your hair is a little bit shorter and you've got this Hawaiian shirt on. And you're looking to the right in a car and you are just looking like you are ready to bust into some drug den with a gun and like...

fight me and my wife i know exactly that day because me and my wife ate at a steakhouse and i was bloated to high hell i mean those fucking pants are about ready to rip at the seams and shit and i like looked over at her i was just bloomed up it looks it was so good but i was like it's so funny he chose that i was like also thinking to myself where the fuck was that posted online like i don't even remember posting i don't post really any like pics besides like my dogs like whatever but right yeah i don't know where i got it

He must have done some seriously deep diving. He was probably there.

In the background. There he is. Yeah, a year, like a year ago. Just waiting in the back. You knew it was coming. I wanted to... Oh, Charlie, go. I've been asking all the questions. No, it's okay. I wanted to ask, man, because you mentioned Spawn and, you know, a lot of your stuff, yeah, does kind of sort of veer back into horror. Did you have any other inspirations or things that you still are just very, very into that you draw from?

I like surrealist painting a lot. I found like... I don't know with you guys, but like if you're editing or doing anything like that, like working...

I love pulling up documentaries on YouTube. There's so many like documentaries that just pop up in my random, like recommended for you feed, whether it's like, whether it's like Frederick Nunson with like down the rabbit hole, like his stuff is awesome. And then there's also just like random great documentaries of like painters, like Francis Bacon has one called a brush with violence. That's free on YouTube. And like, you know, McKinsey, all sorts of just surrealist shit where like,

They talk more in depth about like critical thinking with their paintings. And it's like, sometimes they look like shit. It's one of those like fancy art ones where it's like a square. Right. He was, he watched his father drowned in the pond. It's like, I don't know how that like correlates to this, but it's just interesting. Like that kind of stuff. And then also just like in like, like really indie comics from like,

I don't know, like the 70s and stuff. Like R. Crumb really was good. American Splendor, all that kind of stuff where it's a little more like lowbrow kind of interesting, fun reading, but really crude art style that's really like fun to look at and then like a little more just vulgar with their approach to storytelling, which is cool. Right. All that kind of stuff too. Ralph Bakshi, all that kind of shit. That's awesome, man. Dude.

Dude, I feel like I need to watch a surrealist painting documentary. That sounds fucking cool. They're great. Hey everybody, it's me here, the best member of the Chuckle Sandwich Podcast, here to tell you about the sponsor of today's episode, Skillshare. Skillshare is an online learning community for creatives where millions come together to take the next step in their creative journey. Do you want to learn how to edit videos like us? Do you want to

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Do you feel like you're going to kind of, like you're comfortable here? You're liking it here? Do you see maybe a natural evolution of what you're doing kind of in this direction? Yeah, and also, are you comfortable here with us? Or do we make you a little bit nervous? I am. I feel like it's just like a nice big snuggie. It's nice. I feel warm. Roll out the red carpet, dude. Goblin man. I know.

I was like, damn, this is... Gobbleman keeps his goblins comfortable. Tiger kill you. We've got, what is it? Robotic, robot mongoose. I was turtleboy136 for my email. That was my email. Oh, that's why you were so mad about the turtle episode, Charlie.

Dude, I really liked turtles a lot. Oh, yeah, when we said we were going to kill every turtle. You did do that. I did say we would kill every turtle. Charlie has done something terrible. Everyone in this call decides Charlie has done something terrible to a turtle. In my most recent video, I had Meekinion on for the improving ocean animals, and he said,

recreated a sea turtle to make it better for the ocean where it has a giant maw on its stomach that has a muscular tongue that takes trash and it has a whole social hierarchy of dominance. It was really, really good. It's true. It's beautiful.

I had a turtle. It was kind of like that. You had a turtle? Yeah, I had a turtle. Oh, this explains everything. I had a turtle. I never talked about it because every time I say the word turtle, you start viscerally describing putting straws into their eyes.

Charlie, if I knew you had a turtle, I never would have said I would have killed, happily murdered all of them. You're right. You're right. I think that we should have gone somewhere in a different direction. The only place to appropriately segue into me having a turtle was after you said that you'd kill all of them. All of your terrible... So I kind of didn't

really have maybe the jumping off point I was looking for. And you know what? I still stand by it. I will murder every single turtle. I'll murder every single one. I'll do that fucking TikTok where they doodle. Do you see that one recently where they get a little toothbrush, they clean them up, they peel them off. What the fuck are you doing?

What the fuck are you guys talking about? I told you when you get in the toothbrush and they dance with the toothbrush. No. We're on a different side of TikTok, man. You're like, oh, he's taking a fun bath. He's in a fucking prep sink. There's the TikTok.

Charlie, there's a TikTok of like somebody washing a turtle and then, and then the next shot you see him pulling those individual tiles of its shell off. And then the next thing you know, it's on a plate and it's four of the turtles, all four of the turtles legs just there, like prepared, plated. What the fuck, man? Little ceramic plate. I fucking hate this podcast, man. No, you're, you're right. We should probably end the turtle, um,

the turtle slander. We, I think that the next, well, no, I'd rather go after something that I think is even more disgusting, which is, you know, the fucking pick another, pick another love lizards of the world. The bearded dragons kill all the beard. Oh, okay. Okay. Yeah. Let's kill all bearded dragons. Ted. What are they? What have they ever done to you? Huh? Do they get little, do they get little soda plastic wraps around their neck and die? No, no,

How is that? Good point. Why do you say it like that's hurt you, man? Why do you say it like that? Do you have a bearded dragon, Sean? I had one a while ago. What is up with all, like, you guys live in zoos? What happened to just having cats and dogs? I had a dog growing up. I had a dog growing up. I don't know what's wrong with these guys. They're just like fucking lizards. I had two dogs named Wolfgang and Constanza.

Those are the two dogs I had growing up. And Wolfgang Constanza would steal all of Wolfgang's food and then Wolfgang would put his head under the bottom of the sofa and pretend he was dead all day. It's funny when you say that your dogs are Wolfgang and Constanza. Wolfgang and Constanza.

Like the Seinfeld character and also the famous musician Mozart. I think so. I was going the chef. That gives me the image. Wolfgang Puck. Yeah, I was thinking Wolfgang Puck. I didn't go Mozart. I love that guy.

Um, the, the fucking, uh, name Wolfgang just gives me the imagery in my mind that your family was operated in such a way that like, if you wanted to talk to your father, like you had to walk into like his office and it was like one of those really like, it had like leather seats. There was like a library and it's playing like classical music and he's like reading a book and you're like, um, father, daddy.

And he's like, what is it? What can I do you for, child? What is it, Charles? Or yeah, doesn't even know his name. Child. Who are you? Who's there? He's blind. Where are you?

And you're just asking to do something. He's completely absent in every way. Wolfgang, to me! Can I go to laser tag with my friends? Lasers? No. Never. It's going to be fun, father, I swear. All the children from school are going, please. It's like I'm really back there, man. Yeah.

He goes to his room and says it's him walking through all the empty halls of the grand estate. His only friend is Wolfgang. What am I going to do, Wolfgang? Father won't listen to me. He's too busy speaking with the oil barons. Stop playing dead, Wolfgang. You've been playing dead all day. Stop. Quickly, awaken. Father's coming. Wolfgang, that's just not funny. I tell you right now.

The metronome of grandfather clocks fill the halls as he was walking down. This is what we're describing right now is Charlie's real childhood. He talks about all these things that, you know, all of it's not. I'm not saying anything because I'm there, man. I'm in the fucking hall. The clocks are ticking. There's like no grandfather clock. It's all these like very expensive, ornate floorings and stuff. The real thing, the real question is, I feel like he thinks that it was a turtle, but really what was the turtle?

You know, where you like your memory fools you like, oh, I had a turtle. But really, it was like a small man with like a large metal ball on his back that I gave him crackers or something like that. It's like our fucking family waiter. Yeah. And they're like, you're so you're such a funny turtle. And he's like, thank you, Charlie. Thank you. Stop. Stop it. Get out of my head. Get out of my head.

Now walk around the room for me, Turtle. I want to see you dance. All right, sir. Please, sir, may I have some water? Turtles don't drink water. They only swim in it.

Jesus, brutal. God. You'll drink the Sunny D, that's all you get. It's just a big glass of Sunny D. It's been on the windowsill for three days. - It's all just in the nose. - Shoving a fucking straw up the nose and drink turtle, drink. - He gets up and does a little Texas two step. Yay.

He dances for me. Be brave. This is becoming like a Edgar Allan Poe story. We are just fully in a Meat Canyon video right now. He tries to sip the Sunny D's, straw goes down the throat, he chokes, he dies. All of the previous turtles are below the floorboards. We're going Edgar Allan Poe. What would you say is the cartoon that you've released that you are the most proud of? Oh, God.

And you better answer me truthfully. If you don't, well, no. And you can't say none of them. I don't know if you guys feel this way. Whenever you're done with a project, you're always just looking at it like you're just like a disappointing son. You know what I mean? Yeah. You look at it, you're just like, this could have been better this way. This could have been better that way. Yeah.

The honeymoon phase ends about halfway through, I find. And then after that, it's just fucking disgusting. You're making this as ranked and it's below five. You're like, you're dead to me. You get it ranked and if it's bad ranking, you're like, forgotten. Do you ever notice how sometimes if a video is doing better in the ranking, you sort of look, it tricks your brain into looking at that video as if it's like a

better video maybe necessarily than it actually is in terms of like quality do you guys ever have that where it's like you have a 1 out of 10 you're like this is the best video I've ever made oh yeah it definitely happens because I deliberately try and like not to think that way you know what I mean I just because I've dropped stuff I really like oh right you're above that Charlie I'm sorry that's definitely funny yeah yeah yeah

I forgot Charlie's above that. He's got his grand estate. Oh, Wolfgang! Yeah, sometimes when I get a 10 out of 10, Goblin Man is like...

No, you know, I got it. You know, for the longest time, it was only really recently that I realized that that kind of stuff even affected you. I thought for some reason in my mind, I was like, Schlepp's immune to this. He doesn't worry about this at all. Goblin man's half man.

Hey, listen, I might be half goblin, but the other half of me is still man. The heart of a man. Exactly. Body of a goblin, heart of a man. Body of a goblin, tiny heart of a man. If we don't call this episode Goblin Man, I'm going to lose it.

I feel like as of late, the only thing that I've ever said, like my favorite one is probably that I did that Yo-Kai Bob the Builder thing that I was actually pretty proud of. Probably just because it was like, it was in a different language and shit. And that was like its own. Yeah, I saw that one. What was the process for getting people that could like properly, like one, like do a proper like...

performance in Japanese and then also the translation process. Like, what was that whole process like? This was, for those of you who don't know, this was like an animation that was like, sort of like... It was supposed to be like an anime. Yeah, it was supposed to be, because I, the whole thing was that I was like researching like Japanese house spirits, which are called yokais, they could be called something else. But I thought that that was interesting that like, they believed that there was like, basically for anything, if you didn't fluff your pillows, the fucking pillow would like,

suffocate you or do something. It was all about, like, maintaining a clean... I'm screwed. It was all about, like, maintaining a clean home. But I thought it would be weird to do, like, something that's a part of, like, Japanese culture but have it be, like, in English. So I was like, it'd be cool to do this in Japanese...

And like be able to like get really great performances out of that and make it feel like it stands on its own. Right. Getting going through and getting these Japanese voice actors was like pretty hard. It like just going through different sources to get to people who do like anime dubs or like do professional voice acting in Japan or something. Right. Was was how we ended up doing. But even like lip syncing was different because like in anime, it's like two shapes, right?

You know what I mean? Right. Like, it's just open and close, and they're done. And, like, in Western, they're, like, way more. They do, like... They got the love face. The phenoms, all the mouth shapes, you know? Right. Because it just, like, aesthetically, I think, fits English a little more. But... So we tried doing that, but... Yeah, I don't know. It was just, like, really fucking, like, a hectic turnaround, and we pulled it off, and it...

It was, I don't think it was like one of my top performing videos, but it was one that I was like pretty stoked on. Like, I think it's going to be one that holds up hopefully. Yeah. I definitely think that there are some videos that like you're like, there's one that I'm working on right now. That's like my incorrect history. One that I'm trying to finish. That is, uh, it's like those ones that stand on their own, that you're like, no matter how well this video does, uh,

like you kind of know that it's a wonder to me. Yeah, exactly. Charlie. It's a wonder to get you. Yeah, it's hard. And then, and then if it gets like 10 out of 10, you waste all that money. You're just like, you know what? Fuck that video. My mentality towards that. Yeah. I mean, I don't know. I just like, I, it's so, it's so hard. I fucking hate the YouTube studio app so much. Yeah. And it's one of those things too, where it's like, I guess we could get, you could get rid of the ranking thing, but it wouldn't really change much about, uh,

I think it would, dude. I straight up don't think I was like this before the 1 out of 10 thing was introduced. That shit changed us. That turned me into Goblin Man. I genuinely... It's tough, though, to measure that, though, because at the same time, before the 1 out of 10 thing was a thing, we were also way smaller, so we had less...

You know how the pressure grows as you get larger? It only... But it's like... You have something to lose after a while. Yeah. That's a problem. It starts mattering once it kind of stops being a hobby, huh? And it's like... Yeah. Now you're trying to make... It becomes your job and then it's not, you know, like...

It's not something you do on your free time anymore just to enjoy it. You definitely feel it when you're making something. Not that you don't enjoy it. Not that you don't... Because I don't want people listening to this and being like, man, all YouTubers who grow in size are suddenly soulless beings walking the plains of nothingness. No, it's like we...

The scale tips towards Goblin. It does. It tips towards Goblin. Let's be real. As your channel grows, you're expected to keep that boyish charm of being like, it's me and my friends making videos, but then after a while it becomes like you have to ride the line of creativity and business, which those two do not go hand in hand. So it's like whenever you're trying to do things that are strictly comedy, you have to think about also the business aspect of things.

It's like this weird pendulum that is always kind of swaying, and it's hard to know how to ride that line sometimes, and it's just kind of lame. It's like, here's my cool idea that I want to do. Now how do I mold this in a way that's going to be acceptable? That people will watch, that the algorithm will enjoy. I know, right? And that's kind of a bummer at the end of the day.

And I love how YouTube is doing this. Hey, we're removing dislikes for you. We care about your health. Thank you, Susie. Meanwhile, you'll still see the dislikes. Only the viewers won't see them. And we're keeping the rating system.

You know the rating system that keeps creators in a perpetual state of anxiety and self-loathing? You didn't upload this week? Oh. Okay. All right, cool. We are all just confetti chasers at the end of the day. Jeez, seriously.

If you don't know, I mean, I think I mentioned this on the podcast before, but if you get... There's a ranking system on YouTube based on your video's performance. And if you get a 1 out of 10 out of your most 10 recent videos, YouTube will literally give you confetti on the YouTube Studio app. It will make... Anything under...

Anything under four or two is just like, this isn't reaching a wider scale audience. Dude, it gives you gray, it gives you red. Your monitor breaks, blood starts seeping out of the edges. Susan stops at nothing, man. I think the one improvement that they made, though, was changing the down arrow stuff to being gray instead of red. I hated, I prefer red. Really? Gray makes me feel hollow. Gray's like, you're dead. I'm glad you feel the same way. You're dust.

You're a pile of bones. At least with red, I was like, uh-oh, red light. Like, hey, let's figure it out. Regardless, I don't know. I wish that they would never even have the green where it's just like, good on you. Good job. Please wait one hour until your full report is generated. Looks like your audience didn't give a shit about this one. Exactly.

I love it when it says, changing the title or thumbnail may help, but some subjects just aren't going to do good. Sometimes it's just destined to fail. Yeah.

It's essentially just saying – Have a panic attack and text 80 people about what you should do and then rotate back around. I'm so glad this is a shared experience. Here's the number for the suicide hotline. You're already – Calling it may or may not help with this video's performance. That's hilarious though, Hunter, that you're –

that that is what you do where because that is literally what we do as well when the video is not doing well the going around your entire friend group and being like and being like guys I'm in my I'm in my bag right now guys what's going on here and then it's and it's like you know even in this in this chuckle sandwich discord we have when one

of us is having a bad video. We do it in this. We do. It's like one of us is having a bad video performance and then the other two guys are like, all right, let's fucking figure this out. You could do this. You could do this. And it's like, all right, giving updates to each other. How's it going? Yeah.

I hate when you do the updates, though, too, and then it's just like, you see the comments of people who are catching it, and you're kind of like, you're trying to change three times now. They're like, hey, I see what you're doing. This video's bombing, isn't it? Yeah, he's just being like, oh, not performing well, lol, and you're just like, shut up! Leave me alone!

I have a wife! I have bills I need to pay! Help me, God! The lights will be off very soon. I need this. I do. I have chickens and ducks that I have to feed. You have chickens? Yeah, I went over to his place one time, and he's got so many animals. It's crazy. Is that true? Tell me about it.

Yeah, just chickens, ducks, some fish, some frogs, some cats, some dogs. Do you have like a whole fucking reservoir out there? Like a big piece of land? I got a pretty good sized backyard and we built a chicken coop out there. And the ducks are cool because they just like, I mean, they don't fly away. They're just like chill around and they eat bugs around the yard. So they're pretty good for like...

you know, spiders walk like any of that kind of stuff that gets into your home. The ducks will actually eat. So it's like, wow, do you help? Will they leave the door open?

Hell no, dude. Ducks just come in every once in a while. They travel together, too. Crash birds walk around my beautiful home. Dude. They fucking like, they walk in a pack. They got a little clique going on. It's like a little gangster film. Fat asses. Big fat asses on them. And they go side to side. They walk together. It's hilarious. How many ducks are there? I think we're at eight now. Have you named them all? My wife has. I can't keep up with them. That makes sense.

There's one that looks like the Affleck duck that's named Lemon, and I know that. Wait, wait, wait, wait. So you have enough ducks and have enough experience with ducks that you can distinguish a duck that looks the most like the Affleck duck? Well, it's just, you know, white with the regular beak. Oh, I thought you were saying, like, the face shape of the duck. Like, you have, like... No! No, no, no, no. Like, you were like, this guy's got eyes like the Affleck duck. Yeah, exactly. It's perfect symmetry on him. He's fucking gorgeous. Yeah, no, a little...

Ducks are cool. Ducks are really cool. Chickens aren't bad either. They're cool. We've been eating duck eggs and chicken eggs on all sorts of shit. That's good stuff. Baked goods with duck eggs? Goddamn. That's a treat. What makes a duck egg? Is a duck egg better? I think so. My wife will make blueberry muffins and she'll be like, compare. The duck eggs always taste the best. With goat milk? This is so funny, the contrast between how peaceful and domestically you live.

And then you go online and then your job is like making like these horrific nightmares of... I just think it's fascinating. I enjoy it. No, no, it's great. I mean, it's a wonderful like, it's like, you know, you're sort of like a modern Hannah Montana.

I like that. Ooh. I like that a lot. Do I get to go through my banger's face? Is that what the album she did whenever she was like, you know, I'm not daddy's girl no more. Remember that? Swinging around that wrecking ball. Oh, licking the sledgehammer and shit. She did have that sort of growing up. Are you still daddy's girl, me kingin'? Huh? Are you ducky's girl? My ducky's girl or my daddy's girl? I think I'm both at the end of the day. That's profound. Yeah.

So you got ducks, you got chickens, is that it? Just birds? Birds on? Birds, and we have some frogs, some toads, and we have fish and all sorts of shit. You have like a little pond for them? Two dogs, got a big old basset hound, a German shepherd, husky mix, and two cats. Whoa, wow. You have a whole farm, man. That's great. Dude, that's awesome. And you don't run into any problems with your cats and dogs and the various just little birds you have? No.

They're all chill? Actually, the dogs love my beagle, or my bass hound likes the chickens a lot. He always tries to hang with them, but they just don't fuck with him at all, so it's always a sad cycle of him being like, chasing them around, being like, wait, let me hang out with you. I'm one of you, yeah.

Yeah, like literally. And then they're just like, run! And they just sprint across the yard. But yeah, they all live pretty good. Were the chickens, did they get introduced after you had the dogs? So there was a period of time where the dogs were like, what the fuck is going on? No, we tried to train them because with the ducks and the chickens, we raised them in our garage with heat lamps and stuff. From eggs? Yeah. Fucking cultivated them. Holy shit. You're so cool, man. We bred them.

We just kept slowly introducing them. And then after a while, dogs are just so fucking stupid. They just don't care. They're like, okay. Right. They just kind of have to... They just need to check it out first. They just need to sniff everything first. Yeah, if you introduce your dogs to stuff every once in a while, it's just like... That's like the problem with dogs with other dogs behind fences is they've never...

they can never see them or interact with them properly. So it's just this like pissing contest all the time. That's interesting. I feel like I have, um, I mean, I'm, I'm up here in Vermont. It can get pretty rural once you get out there. I feel like I've heard the exact opposite, you know, like I know people that have chickens and there's just been like dog attacks and stuff. People that let their animals run wild. Um,

So it makes me very happy when you're like, yeah, man, it's just peaceful back there. The dog's a chicken. He's running around. I mean, I would never bring my dogs on other people's birds. They're associated with my ship. But at the same time, I'm not a person. I wouldn't let my dog go around other people's stuff without having them know. But yeah. No, I mean, it is. It's just a nice association. And if you can keep doing that. Also, it's like basset hounds are...

just like genetically an abomination. So it's like, there's no way that dog will ever catch any of those chickens at all either. So they were just going to like smelling, right? That's pretty much it. Yeah. My wife told me, I didn't know this. The reason that the bass hounds ears are so long is because they were bred because they drag on the ground. And then that way their nose can smell the sense. They never lose track of that scent.

Oh, they drag on the ground? I'm not sure how... Wait, so how does the ears dragging on the ground help the sniffing? When they're sniffing on the ground, their ears will drag and the ears will hold that scent that they're tracking. And they take their nose and they'll smell their ears and stuff to never... That's why they're so good at tracking is because they keep that... Their nose is obviously really powerful, but also they're just like...

They will just have that like that constant scent on their ears that they're tracking so they just never forget. It's kind of what Schlatt does a little when he gets a musk in his little mustache. When I get a musk? Let me smell my... How do you get the scent of that beef bulgogi? Oh, dude. And it stays with you. It is stored for later. It's funny because his mutton chops actually detach from his face and then they become elongated larger and then they start dragging on the ground. What was the thought process for the facial hair?

I mean, it looks good. I'm just curious. Okay, so here's what I did. I face revealed in September of 2019, right before TwitchCon. I was a Minecrafter. I was on a Minecraft server. I had a bunch of stans. The day I face revealed was the worst day of my life because everybody on Twitter changed their profile picture to the same image of me. So submissive and breathable. I'm just like, you know, so fuckable, so fuckable. And so what I did is I took it upon myself to make myself as ugly as

make myself as ugly as possible. So not only did I grow out my facial hair to the most disgusting, like who, why, why do you do this? But I also got fat too. And so-

I tell you what, I absolutely disagree with the facial hair. I think that this is a ploy to get Confederate kind of like Civil War style. Finally, someone calls him out on it, man. It's about time. No, man, I'm not trying to bring anything back. There's not one man who doesn't learn about the Civil War in school, who doesn't look at those pictures of those generals and you're like, damn. You've been talking about state rights a lot on the podcast.

podcast lately. What is that all about? Listen, the war of northern aggression, you know, it is what it is. We'll leave it at that. We don't have to talk about it. Isn't that what they teach in school in the south? They call it the war of northern aggression in some places. I don't know. I don't know. That might be a rumor. I'm not sure. When I was in, I went to school in Kansas City. I'm from Kearney, Missouri, which is outside of Kansas City, Missouri. And when we learned about the Civil War, I think we watched Glory and that was about it.

If you've ever seen that, that's with Matthew Broderick and Denzel Washington. It is not a great film to learn about the encompassing of what the philosophical take on the Civil War is. Having Ferris Bueller and fucking Man on Fire together in a movie doesn't really embody the whole what you're looking for. What else are they going to do? Teach you?

come on, man. What do I do? Teacher, can I learn something? He's just like, I'm the wrestling coach. I don't know what you want from me. Like, puts you in a headlock. Yeah. Yeah, I'm just like, well, that was counterproductive. Sure, this is called a three-point takedown. I learned a lot today. But yeah, that's the goal. The goal is to make myself as unlucky

Like, you just don't want to look at me anymore. I'm just like a sad wreck at this point. You're smart about this, Schlock, because you're saying this. You know that's going to get people riled up to look at you more. You're also doing what fine art does where it's counterculture. It's against the grain.

Of course. You're basically a walking Gucci symbol at this point, I would imagine. Oh, I appreciate that. No, it is definitely me pulling strings behind the scenes knowing that this is exactly... It's working out the exact way I want it to. In reality, I just got really lazy one day. I stopped shaving.

And I can't grow facial hair here. So it just became mutton chops. Someone's got to start the war. I mean, mutton chops need to make a comeback. They don't start themselves. They do. I mean, I feel like I kind of rock them at some points. Maybe when I'm not fucking fat and disgusting. See, Ted would have really nice mutton chops because he has a nice butt chin. So it's like a nice little... It's a poignant thing. And it would have a beautiful, beautiful mutton chops that...

Bring your eyes to the chisel chin. I gotta say, this lighting right now does accentuate my butt chin going on here. The crimson chin. You have the little crease in the middle there? How's that? You're gonna have to blur that, dude. That's getting a little raunchy. That's the meat canyon right there. That's the meat canyon. What is that supposed to be? Goddamn. Dude, ideally, I want my... That's the chussy. Oh, Lord.

There it is. There it is. Ideally, I want it to connect. I want to have the mutton chops connect, but it just doesn't. It doesn't. So I don't know. Does your mustache grow long in the front too? Like does it grow long like over your lips and stuff? Yeah.

I was going to say, I've seen some dudes with his mutton chops and like their whole mustache like almost covers their mouth. And it's like, it's fucking brutal. You can only have that, though, when you're like past 55 years old. That's the only time it's acceptable. Yeah. And then you're like, oh, so you have a Harley? And they're like, oh, yeah. That's the age at which, you know, you're kissing your wife like maybe like once a week if you're feeling in the mood. She's like, we should go out. He's like, oh, yeah.

God, I mean, how often do I have to do this? Yeah, exactly. I'm watching American Choppers. Leave me alone. Dude, honey, I'm busy watching the S&P channel. I don't think I know what the fuck the S&P channel is. I don't know. You know that channel? No, there was something there. You know the channel that's like they're just showing jewelry off? QVC? Something like that. I thought it was called something along the lines of that.

Something like that. I think actually SMP is the Rihanna song or the...

S&C and Chainsaw... I thought you were talking about one of the servers. Isn't that what the servers are called? That's what my head went on. Whatever I intended on saying, it failed miserably, and now I've embarrassed myself. No, I think we should linger on it a little longer. I think you should, because linger... What does he really mean to say, man? What is the Rihanna song? S&D? Search and Destroy? Search and Destroy?

You said Rihanna? W-A-P? Something. She's talking about how chains and whips excite her. I want to be bad, but I'm perfectly good. Ted, were you trying to say that chains and whips excite you when you said that, man? That's kind of weird. What the heck? Yeah, I'm with that. I'm with that. We have a guest on.

You changed once you showed your chussy, man. Yeah, the chussy sort of brings that out of me. I'm telling you, you got to fucking blur that or else there's going to be some edits going on. You're going to have to grow hair over that after this one, man. That is intense, god damn. Seriously, every profile picture on Twitter is going to be the chussy. You've got to stop. That is intense. Good lord. Oh, man. And your fingers right there in the middle of it. It's like, what are you playing with, dude? Who are you fooling?

Good lord. I feel like we may be reaching the end of our allotted time for a podcast. So should we do... Did you know that you can store scents on your mustache, Mr. Meat? Do you do that sometimes? Like if you're eating something you really enjoy, like some beef bulgogi from your favorite Korean barbecue restaurant? You kept saying beef bulgogi.

bulgogi and I don't know what that is. Bulgogi, beef bulgogi. Yeah, that's what you gotta eat when you go to the Korean barbecue. You gotta have beef bulgogi. You do a

This is a classic thing that I find more and more people do. I'll say, I don't know what that is, and you say the thing four or five more times. Yeah, beef bulgogi. Try this on. That's the name. Beef bulgogi. I don't know what that is. It's beef. It's a beef bulgogi. It's just a pile of beef that they give you at the restaurant. You put it on the hot plate. It's delicious. It's marinated. Bulgogi. It's beef bulgogi. So you eat it. You have grease. You have grease all over your mustache. During the day, you smell it is what you're saying. Yeah, you...

It's like a nice little reminder almost, you know? What have you got stored in there right now? What have you got in there? What sort of sense have you got cooking in there right now?

I'll tell you one time when I first started growing on my mustache and I was younger, I drank some, I drank whole milk. Okay. This is the same thing. No, no, no, no, no. Oh, what have, what have, what are you talking about? I would continue. Dude, I, that must've been awesome. Just every time you just bring up your lip. I went in, I got that deal and I, and I did the whole deal. Bottom lip, go up, do the scrape to get the rest of it out of your mustache and

And just some lingered to where it was like just perfectly hidden out of sight. And I was like, what the fuck is that smell? And it was just like curdled. No, Jesus. The whole time. Yeah, this is the exact same. And then I went in and then when I went to shower that night and I took like shampoo and I was washing my beard and stuff. And I did that. Oh, fuck.

fucking flakes of like dry milk fell down. This is the worst answer you could have possibly given me. Thank you. This is exactly like the conversation we had with Swagger Souls who said there's a challenge going around where you dip your whole mustache. Okay, Charlie's gone. Where you dip your whole mustache in milk and then you wait and you see how long you can leave it there. How long can you go?

Is that an actual challenge? If so, what is the name of that? I don't remember. The Milky Stash Challenge. Milky Stash Challenge? Yeah, the Milky Stash Challenge. I would hope it's a little better than that, but I would accept that. If someone's like, dude, this is the fucking Milky Stash. You doing it this weekend? Or like, yo, guys, we're getting together. How the hell did you guys find out about my Milky Stash? We're doing a Milk Stash.

A little milk stash is good. Curd stash. Spoiled stash. I'd probably down spoiled stash. How about that? Good luck finding it. Yo, guys, we're getting together this weekend and we're all trying to do the cow's revenge.

Would everybody dip their mustache in the same thing of milk too? Cause the last guy that's got to suck. He definitely got to pull straws for dipping the milk in. You were playing the long game at that point. I feel like it doesn't even matter who gets that first dip. The bovine. Uh, no, you got something there. The bovine. What was the bovine? Bovine intervention is a funny, funny joke. I like the, the,

You could name it off the kind of milk like you do the 2% dip. You could call it a skim dip. The lactating bovine challenge. No, skimmy dipping. We've got it. Nice. Not bad. No listeners do that ever. Please do. Don't send us pictures. Don't send us anything.

Question for you, Pavamit. Would you do the skimmy dipping challenge? I would.

I would gladly do it. I've done it once before. I'm prepped. I'm prepared. I did it unintentionally before. I feel like I could go in stronger, more willpower this time knowing that I could be this champion. Now, here's the problem. I do have a wife, and that would probably be a deterrent. If you really are committed to this, you're going to have to leave her. I'm sorry. You'd go full goblin. You'd have to go full goblin. No nighttime belly kisses from me, for sure.

Oh, geez. Second question. You guys want to get belly kisses? You know what? Let's linger on that. You don't have your wife give you raspberries whenever you're before bedtime?

Just a little something. Then you kick your feet. You say, ha ha ha. In your onesie. It's like we don't even need a weather drive. He's just offering up this information. Just letting you know what's happening. I'm a large man and she's very small. So if anybody came in, it would look very odd. The proportions are not there. So it would just be this tiny woman blowing this big fat belly. No one is making you say this. Ha ha ha.

Elena, a little sandwich exclusive there. So you do the skimmy dipping challenge. That's the first question. My next question for you is, would you rather...

What? Nothing, man. What's the problem? It's just been a while. I didn't realize we were going to do this today. I would have steeled myself a little. Just keep going. Listen, tip the scale. Forget about me. Just stop. I'm sorry. I wasn't trying to ruin it. I wasn't trying to fuck it up. I always screw it up, man. I'm sorry. You always fuck this up. Keep saying it. You always fuck this up, man. I know. I know. I'm sorry. I want to smack you, Charles.

But I won't. We know you do the skimmy dipping challenge. How do you accept this challenge? Would you rather have unlimited bacon, but no more video games? Is he okay? Is he okay? He's just doing his thing. I mean, he's... Or no more video games, they said? Yes, unlimited bacon, but no more video games. Or, or would you rather have games? Here it comes. Unlimited games. Expansive.

But no games. Is the question literally... Do I need to say it again? I'm confused about this. Would you rather... I'll say it again. I'll say it one more time. One more time. I really need you to open up those ears and listen. Would you rather have unlimited bacon, but no more games? Or would you rather have games...

Unlimited games! But no games. No games. I would take the bacon. You'd take the bacon? Why? Fuck games, bro. Fuck games? Fuck games, bro. You could have unlimited of them, though. I don't give a fuck. I'd rather have unlimited bacon. Oh, shit. Oh, my God. You don't even know if it's good bacon. I'll learn to adapt. You don't know? Oh.

You know what? You know what I hope, too? To even make it even worse? I hope it's turkey bacon. I would take unlimited fucking turkey bacon. This is close to Thanksgiving, too.

Jeez. Wow. It's good stuff. It's like little bits of plastic. That's why I like turkey bacon. It's like cooked plastic. Yeah. Wow. Well, I mean, there you have it, folks. I mean, he gave his answer. Charlie, come back. And you stand by that. You stand by that? You're standing by that? I'll stand by it all day. I'll make a statue of it and stand by it. Wow. This man.

Holy... Charlie, where did that water come from? You got some dribble on your chest there, buddy. It looks like you've been spitting everywhere. Sorry, I've been crying and spitting. It looks more like you were just spitting viciously all over your shirt. Yeah, it looks like St. Bernard went up and got up on your lap. I just didn't know what to choose. I just started slobbering. The goblin came out.

For a second, I'm sorry. Don't release the goblin in me. Don't release the goblin in me. Well... Inside you, there's a goblin. Well... Jesus. I am Goblin Man. Now that we have you on the podcast, Meat Man, let's roll out the red carpet...

This camera. This camera. This camera. Don't forget about this camera here. This camera. You're going to want to look up there. How'd you guys get this in my house? Eyes over here. Tell the people what you got going on. Snuck a few hidden pen cameras up there. Do you know the person? Tell... What...

advertise yourself. Oh, what do I got going on? Where can people find you? What are you working on? Yeah. You know what? Go to my second channel. I'm doing a 40 week weight loss challenge with my, with my neighbor, Esmeralda.

She's a German woman. She will lose. We're doing that. We're going to compare stretch marks later, but it's going to be a 40-week weight loss transformation. And then we're going to be doing documentation on the skin graph. So feel free to follow that on the Papa Meat channel. Wow. Very nice. Good luck on that, man. Yeah, good luck. Yeah, of course. Good for you. I hope all goes well. We believe in meat. We believe in truth.

I feel like I'm offended by this outro. Why? I'm hyping you up. What the fuck is this? Are you singing? If you're going to sing, commit. Commit to it. I want to hear the singing. It was more like supposed to be sort of like an 80s kind of like... No, stop backpedaling. I don't care what it's supposed to be. Show me what it is with your voice. Come on. We believe in you. We believe in you. We believe in me. We believe in truth. Truth. Truth.

True. That's all I had in my mind. I can't improv any more of that. It's just going to sound atrocious. Okay, dude, come on, man. You've got to have a little more lyrics. That's all right. How about this? How about this? Come on down to the canyon. Jump on in. Have a band in. Slide on in. There's some meat. Watch your hands. Tuck your feet. Going down the meaty folds.

To a story that's untold. Yeah. How's that? How's that? That was good. So, Schlatt, take it away.

Hide your children with all your might for the meat is coming in the dead of night. Oh, that's good. Thank you so much, Meat Canyon. That's the end. Don't get fussy. Check out Ted's Big Fat Chussy. That's good. That's a fun one. All right. I like that. I like that. Bye. Can I stop recording?