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America. We are endowed by our Creator with certain unalienable rights: life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness.
By honoring your sacred vocation of business, you impact your family, your friends, and your community. At Grand Canyon University, our MBA degree program is 100% online, with emphases in business analytics and finance to help you reach your goals. Find your purpose at GCU. Private. Christian. Affordable. Visit gcu.edu. Hey, what's going on, everybody? Welcome back to Chuckle Sandwich, the podcast. Ted!
You are sitting down in a chair. Why? It's true. What the hell? Get the memo, huh? Because I'm not a rich motherfucker with the ability to buy a standing desk. Hey, you know what, Ted? I think you're being stood up right now. Ha ha ha.
You know, Mr. Ass, Mr. Ass. Ted can't afford a standing desk because he spent it all on smoggy Los Angeles. You know, Schlatt, it's funny because I actually sent a text to Schlatt the other day, and it was two screenshots. It was a photo of the air quality in Texas versus the air quality in L.A., and it was decidedly worse than...
In Texas than it was in LA. It was worse in Texas. Yeah, it was worse in Austin, your neck of the woods. That is crazy, Ted. Thank you for telling me what the text said because I didn't open it. Charlie, we're on our feet today for the episode of Chuck a Sandwich. Very good. Dude, I'm feeling light. I'm feeling light.
I'm feeling good. I'm going all over the place. I'm feeling powerful. I might as well be wearing a finely tailored suit. Listen, I might as well be wearing a finely tailored suit from Joseph A. Bank, a red power tie Trump made in China. Oh, my God. Jesus.
I'm feeling good. I am wearing a loose-fitting Arizona green tee t-shirt here today. I am wearing an in-and-out shirt. So athletic. You are just all out of sorts today, Ted. You are just a mess, man. The smog has reached your legs. You can't even stand. Christ.
You're all vapor below the waist. I can tell Ted is actually upset. You are molding right now. I've learned how to float on the smog and use it as a staircase to move around. I don't even need a car anymore. I use the other cars of the people in LA to move around. It's actually very convenient. Yeah. We just stand up and walk. Yeah, we walk around here. We walk around here. But hey, listen, not all of us can be so fortunate. Ted,
Here's what I have for you today. I watched a Ludwig video, actually, and I compiled all the questions that he asked other YouTubers. Why are you directly, why are you just addressing me? Charlie, because me and Charlie are on the same page. We're aerial today. Oh, hey, didn't see you there. I was too busy standing here on my own two feet. Oh, okay.
Oh, God. So these questions are the hardest questions on the internet. The most... Well... I mean, oh, my God. This is the bread and butter right here. We're really in it. We're in the sauce. We are not going to take these sitting down. Am I right or am I right? Yeah, come on! Oh, man. Oh, man. What's wrong, Ted? You just can't stand it?
Oh, Ted Nivison, you're a mess. You're a mess. Ted Nivison, fog cloud. You guys didn't get bullied enough in high school.
You're right. You're right. I didn't. I didn't. You're so wrong. All right. Let's hop into this. Well, this is true, guys. We're answering the hardest questions on the internet. And I think, I mean, we better not have the same answers to all of them because this episode will be done pretty quickly if we do. Yeah. That would be a real shame.
Because we get along really well, too. We do. We're the best of friends. Guys, shut the fuck up. Just read these shits. I'm feeling in a good mood today. So let's just get this over with. I think you owe Shalad an apology. Please apologize to me. That was rude. No one's ever spoken to me like that. You don't tell me to shut up. You're challenging his entire world outlook. Maybe it's about time. My dad drives a Mercedes. How did you say that to me? That's right.
I'm going to drive you into the dirt, buddy. I'm going to pull you over. All right. Let's get into these questions. Yeah, let's do it. Wipe your tears.
If you bake two lasagnas and then you cut it in half and then stack one of the lasagnas above the other lasagna, how many lasagnas do you have? Now, I believe that we covered this question at one point on the podcast, but I don't think that we really went into it enough. No, we didn't. How many lasagnas can you stack until it's a true lasagna? I don't know.
How many sheets? How many sheets are both of them? How many sheets? How many layers are each? I don't know. Okay. You think I care? You're the one who's asking the question, man. Fuck you, buddy. I'm just trying to entertain you here, okay? So if you don't want to entertain me, that's fine. One lasagna, final answer. No matter how many. If you bake two lasagnas and stack them, one lasagna on top of the other, how many lasagnas do you have? I don't know.
I would normally say still one lasagna, but that also begs the question of, you know, if you bake one lasagna and you cut it into two halves and then you put that hat one half on top of the other, it's still one lasagna. It's still one lasagna. Yeah, exactly. You know, it doesn't matter how many sheets, how many layers of that beautiful girthy schmied you put on there.
Oh my God. It's still one lasagna. If it's coming from the original lasagna, it's even more one lasagna. It's coming. It's true. It's true. You know, I feel like remember the hydraulic press channel where they folded the piece of paper like six times and then it exploded. I think it's, isn't it like eight is supposed to be the max. Yeah. How many lasagnas can you stack on top of one another before you have enough megatons to blow up a Japanese city? That's what I want to know. Um,
I don't know what that's necessarily. Hmm. Okay. I want to know these things. It's a good question. I would say maybe
11? 11. 11 lasagnas that's enough to blow up a Japanese city in 1947? No, no, no, no, no. Call a lasagna maybe Fat Man? Don't deny history. Fat Boy? Don't deny history, Charlie. Are you implying that this is what happened? Hey, we stand up against imperialism.
That's why we're on our feet. Ain't too much lasagna. Yep. We just got lost in the sauce. Look, it's okay. We saw what happened last time. Don't stack them again. All right? What's the next question? Next question. Who would win in a fight? One billion lions or every single Pokemon? One of everyone. This is a pretty...
I think our Cup Man, Connor, was talking about this question a little while ago. Connor Eats Pants feels very strongly about this. Maybe I could get him on. And he is a... Maybe you should. He's a pod... He is a Pokemon guy, too. And he held the opinion that a billion lions... I mean, how many Pokemon is there? There's... 900-something? Yeah.
Let me go and grab Connor. I don't think that people... You can hardly call an objective statement an opinion that one billion lions would win. When people say every single Pokemon versus a billion lions, they are just completely underestimating, one, how strong a single lion is, and two, how big a billion is.
I also want to add on to that. The argument is usually the original 151 Pokemon, as if the Pokemon ever had a chance against the 1 billion lions. The original Pokemon would not. That's just a... The original 151. That's a straight up answer. That was the first time it was posed, was that. And a billion lions would win. A billion lions? Really? Lion singularity. It would be more reasonable to just cross that billion out and then make it a million.
And then it's still not really that big of a challenge for the Lions. Yeah, many have tried to cross that many out, but there's just too many Lions. They can't.
I think that one of the biggest arguments that people make about the Pokemon is that in the Pokemon world, you've got the legendary Pokemon and there's one, there are certain really at the end of the day, just slots coming back. You know, he's, he's looking at me. Oh, I got to do my stream. I stream on Twitch at TV slash Connery's pants. Did you ask him? No, he said no. He said no. He's his stream was dying. Who would win? And he said, no, his fucking stream was dying.
And he's like, I can't... It's not even working. And I'm like, perfect! Come down and film the chuckle! What a piece of... He's upstairs? Yeah, he's upstairs. Thinks he can slide out of the sand. That's why I'm out of breath. Him and his ivory tower of streaming. Yeah, man. What the fuck does he think he is? He is a proponent of the Alliance. I'm not...
I'm not too sure I agree with him. A true. Really? Okay. What's your fucking deal, man? Yeah. What's your deal? Oh, you guys agreed on the, on the, on the lions. Yeah. You guys thought the lions would do it. Let's just clarify the initial argument here. When this question was first posed so, so long ago and when it was subsequently answered, uh,
with 1 billion lions. It was asking who would win a billion lions or the original 151 Pokemon. So I just want to clarify, not that it matters because it's a billion lions. It doesn't matter. If you're talking about the original 151 or if you're talking about all of them.
So it doesn't matter. You don't think 900 Pokemon could beat a billion lions? It comes out to a thousand. That is a fraction of the amount of life. How many would just be mauled? Shut up. How many would just be mauled? Shut up. Give me the
me the Pokemon that changes things, Schlatt. What changes things? Put this in your pipe and smoke it, alright? Okay. Can lions fly? They don't need to. There's a billion of them. Can Charizard fly? I kind of imagine in my mind, if you guys have ever seen World War Z. World War Z. Yeah. Sort of a similar situation where the lions just start
working as an ultra super pack. Lions aren't that fucking smart. I got a descendant of the lion family right here. I got a descendant of the lion family right here. He's dumber than a bag of fucking rocks. You want to say hi, Jambo? Okay, the question is not if Charizard can fly. The question is
when will Charizard have to land? He doesn't have to land. He doesn't have to land because Pokemon use those fucking energy points or whatever. He's going to have to eat. And if you say the lions can't stack. Pokemon don't eat. Pokemon don't eat. If you say that the lions can't tower.
Then the lions encompass everything else and Charizard will lose in a battle of attrition versus a billion lions. If it's a thousand Pokemon versus one... That motherfucker don't got enough PP and that's fact. If it's a thousand Pokemon versus... There are healing Pokemon that can give him more PP. If it's a thousand Pokemon versus one billion lions... Connor's here. Connor's here. Connor expands. That is a million lions per Pokemon. You mean, dude?
We're discussing a billion lions. Connor, you can't sit. Okay. Get him next to you. Get him next to you. A billion lions, Connor, versus all the Pokemon. Hi, Connor. Hey, can you explain to everyone why the billion lions would win, please?
I mean, there's plenty of reasons. That's a lot of lions. Most of them are lions. That is a lot of lions. You can drive through bumfuck Idaho and see zero people. Like, the lions aren't just going to clump together like some World War Z shit. What kind of battlefield are you envisioning? I don't even envision a battlefield. I see a billion lions going throughout wherever they live.
And then the Pokemon just travel as a pack and fuck them up because Pokemon are infinitely more- So why do the Pokemon get to travel with a bunch of cats now? Why do they get the pack advantage and we don't get to get one billion lions and a big ball? Pokemon speak English! They understand! They can- I can just be the fucking mastermind here! I'm literally the Pokemon master. I know everything about Pokemon. It's true. He is the Pokemon master. Let him speak. They would need a trainer to, first of all, be organized in any way, which they don't. Who would that be, Schlatt? Who would that be, Schlatt? You? Who said they didn't have a trainer?
Would that be you? It's not. What if I want to be the trainer? It's just all the Pokemon versus the lions. Listen, I'm not saying the Pokemon will get some kills. There's going to be a good couple million lions that are dead. Yeah, at least. Absolutely destroyed. There are just way too many lions for the matter.
It's an obscene amount of... I don't think that's true. Schlatt, you don't even understand how big a billion is. I've never even played a Pokemon game in my life. Okay, how about this? I think you can put one of those healing Pokemon on top of a Charizard. But they run out of moves. They run out eventually. But you can give more moves to the Charizard. No, they can't.
You can't make more moves. That's not real. I feel like Schlatt's going into this with a concrete misunderstanding of how the Pokemon work. Here's what we're going to do, guys. Here's what we're going to do. No, no, no, no, no, no. I'm done listening. I'm done listening. You fly to like a rural area where there aren't any lions and then Charizard sleeps there and then he gets- Until he dies. Until he dies and the lions breed and now it's two billion. I think we need a talking stick. It's
It's a war. Who said it's a battle? If they're running away, it's not fighting. No. They can't run away. What? They can't run away. It's a battle to death. What do you mean they can't run away? Yes, they can run away. It's a battle to the death of a billion lines of little Pokemon. So should the...
The baseline foundation of the fight. You said, oh, no, you can't tell the Pokemon that they got a trainer. Well, hold on, Slatt. Pokemon can't speak English or something. I'm going to be a lion tamer and make a really big poop bag to jump through it once. Boys, boys, please, please. I think that a pretty good foundation to think about that Connor was bringing up right now is that the Pokemon versus the lions are in a fight to the death. So let's just say...
that both sides have this insatiable bloodlust and they're both on like two sides of a field, like a medieval battle. Okay. If you say Charizard one more fucking time. Charizard can just start flying, bro. Why do you pick Charizard, man? He can't fly forever, though. He flies somewhere where they're not.
that none of them can fly forever. Well, some of them might, but it doesn't matter. Isn't one of the... If that's the point, how do you conclude a winner? If someone's just flying, but there's still 750 million lions on the ground, are they winning? No, they're just hiding. They're hiding in the sky.
The Lions are going to run in a circle really, really fast and suck Charizard down. Well, listen, I'm saying, why does Charizard have to beat all of them in one shot? He's vastly outnumbered. No one is talking about Charizard. No one's ever been talking.
about Charizard. This is what's going on in Schlatt's mind right now. It is literally Charizard versus a billion lions in Schlatt's mind. We say every single Pokemon in his head for a single image of Charizard. I just feel that Charizard is the one that flies.
There's plenty of them. You know, isn't there a god Pokemon too? Why can't he win? There's uh, you know who flies? You know who flies? God loses to concrete. They literally pour concrete on the god Pokemon and he dies. When the fuck did lions learn construction? Butterfree. Butterfree flies. Okay, Shlat. A lion would kill Butterfree. Let me just put this out there. Instantly. For every Charizard that there is for you to worship...
There is also a fucking like caterpillar Pokemon that's going to just get torn to shreds by a lion. So after like at least maybe 20 minutes, you're already left with maybe 200 Pokemon that could even still be alive at that point.
Because that's a billion-line. Maybe less. I don't think Wobbuffet's going to do much damage. Wobbuffet's actually one of your best bets. Wobbuffet's actually fun. I feel like he's got one of the highest chances. Wobbuffet's one of your best bets because his whole thing is he takes damage and he delivers it back. So if you hit him, he swings back and hits you again. So he can hit you back with a billion-line. You can do it with one Wobbuffet. You put Wobbuffet on the back of a Charizard. He might take down a good couple hundred-lines.
The other two Pokemon. It doesn't matter, though. Taking down a couple hundred lions is nothing in the grand scheme of things. Can Wobbuffet still take damage eventually over time? Yeah. I mean, listen, Wobbuffet's going to die. But how's Wobbuffet going to die? You just said that this thing was practically just sending back all the lion damage. Well, he takes the damage and then he delivers double back. So he still takes the damage. That sounds like he's invincible. No, because he still takes the damage.
Okay, so after a good amount of lion headbutts, he's going down. Yeah. Regardless. People say ghost types. They say that the lions can hit ghost types. That's not true, because lions would obviously be able to use the move bite, which would hit ghosts. It's actually super effective, wouldn't it be? Yeah. Anyways, I've got to go continue streaming. Thanks, Connor. Appreciate it. Well, I mean, that checks out. How about this, guys? Let's do a little exercise here just to make sure we really drill in the point. I'm going to go down a couple...
of Pokemon in the original list. And let's talk about how many, how many lines they could take. Bulbasaur. Bulbasaur dies. I don't know who that is. Ivysaur. Well, okay. How about this? How about this? How about this? No idea who that is. You just immediately went to just saying that they're dying. Give us a Pokemon and then Schlatt can then sort of guess how many lines he personally thinks that that one Pokemon could take down. Okay. Sure. Yeah. I think so. All right. First up.
Let's do skip past some of these Charmander, Charmeleon, Charizard. They're not going to matter much. All right. Stop right there. Stop right there. How many Pokemon? Stop. Hold on. Fucking stop right there. You skipped right over Charizard. That motherfucker is going to be in the trenches the whole time killing all of them. I don't know who Ivy, whatever the fuck is. I don't know what Bulbasaur is. Peacock.
Pikachu could probably do one or two. He's going to be wearing one of those World War I British helmets. But Charizard, that fucker who flies, that fucker who flies is going to be mowing through him. And then he's just going to fly away. He's going to sleep for a little bit. He's going to get the trench foot status. How big is a Charizard? He flies. A Charizard? You want to know how big a Charizard is? You're going to be really upset. It's 5'7". Yep. Schlatter, Charizard is fucking 5'7". Charizard is shorter than all of us. Charizard is 5'7"? Charizard...
Is 5'7". Your genuine disappointment there was so fucking good. Was so fucking good. Wait, Charizard is 5'7"? Charizard is 5'7". Charizard is 2 inches shorter than the average American male. Charizard is 5'7"? Charizard is 1.7 meters tall. Charizard is also...
It says here he's only 199 pounds. Wait, time out. There's a Mega Charizard. There's a Mega Charizard. It evolves from Charmeleon starting at level 36. No, no, no. It is the final form of Charmander. How tall is Mega Charizard? It's the same height.
It's the same height. However, there is... It's five... No! It's 91 feet tall! It's 91 feet tall! No, it's not! It's literally not! Yes, it is! Gigantamax Charizard! We get a Gigantamax Charizard that's just 91 feet tall of
Of course that's going to win. But in the games. If only we had something else taller, say, I don't know, one billion lions. Gigantamax Charizard's got it in the bag. I'm saying that. That's not the normal state of the Pokemon. All my money's going on. Even if we say the Gigantamax Charizard.
He's 91 feet tall, bro. So he can step on a few for sure. Okay, let's go to the next Pokemon. Schlatt's putting all his marbles behind a lizard that stands at 5'7". I'm a big fan of lizards. Okay. I think he could fuck some up. And the lizards are big. You and I both weigh more than Charizard. Okay.
Consider the Gigantamax 91 feet tall. We are not nearly as tall as that. Is he still the same weight? I don't know.
I don't know. I don't watch Pokemon. I don't watch Pokemon. I don't know how it fucking works. He's not dense at all. The lines just pop him like a balloon. A 91 foot lizard that weighs 200 pounds seems a little bit physically impossible. And also, I think it would just collapse under the weight of its own. Like a birthday balloon. Like there's no way you could just have, its skin would be as thin as fucking silk. The only thing inside is just a little blood that pools at the foot.
No, no, listen. Gigantamax has more weight, too. I guarantee it. I'm done talking about Charizard. We're done with the Pokemon. We're done with the Pokemon. I didn't even get to ask you any Pokemon. You gotta let him have his moment here. Fine, fine, fine. You gotta let me. Okay, fine. How many lions could Squirtle be? A couple. How? He squirts them.
I think that Blastoise could do some damage. Blastoise could fucking kill a few lions. Because Blastoise shoots it like fire hoses. Like, if you fire hosed a lion, that lion would not be able to do much. He's got some PSI. All right. Next one after Blastoise. How many lions could Caterpie... Caterpie's dead. Zero. Zero. Zero. That thing is not doing anything.
Okay, okay, okay. Similar situation with Magikarp. Don't worry. He's coming back. Metapod. However, you have many... I didn't even think of this. I just thought of this. You have a bunch of water Pokemon. They just sit in the water. What are the lions going to do? They swim! No, they don't. What do you mean they don't? They can't go deep. Metapod.
Magikarp could just like chill at the bottom. He's a fish. Again, we're just back to the they're going to hide argument forever. All of your arguments for these Pokemon's ability of survival against a billion lions is predicated on them hiding. Here's what I want to do. I want to read off from Caterpie a Pokemon. Stop me when you hear one that you think could kill at least one lion. Hold on. Before we go any further, please allow us to fulfill a contractual obligation.
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I don't know what that is. It's a fucking cocoon. Butterfree. No. It's a butterfly. It's a butterfly. That won't do much. Weedle. I don't know what that is. It's a piece of marijuana. It's... Okay. Cocoon. Cocoon. Yeah, it's probably a cocoon. It is. It is. Beedrill. Beedrill. It's a bee. He might sting one. He might. Well, it's a bee, but it's hands are drills.
You might drill one. I'm gonna open this. I'm gonna tell you how tall it is. Okay. How tall is Beedrill? Holy shit! Beedrill's actually pretty tall. Beedrill is three feet tall. That's a huge fucking bug. That'll kill a lion. Wait, wait, wait. How tall is Weedle? How tall is Weedle? Weedle is one foot tall?! Oh, shit. I don't like how big these bugs are. That kind of freaks me out. Wait, wait. How big is Caterpie? Okay, Weedle is one feet tall. Caterpie's also one feet. This is fucked. Pidgey.
It's a bird. None. None. That's not going to kill any. However, it will fly. It will fly. Okay, Pidgeotto. Also a bird. I don't know. All right, Pidgeot. Another bird. A little bigger. I don't know any of these. Maybe like raven-sized. Listen, I just know that Charizard can fuck up more than you think. And especially if you get him in Gigantamax. Okay, yeah, for sure. All right, next one. Rattata. You get that big fucking Charizard. I don't know who the rat of that is. How many lines couldn't...
couldn't even fuck it up on tinder let alone a billion lions oh don't say that dude don't say that man don't say that listen can we go to the next question we're at a soft spot now he's five seven dude i'm sorry how many lions could ritada be you know you know what this reminds me of charlie you know what this conversation reminds me of given that char's artist five seven reminds me of the um my favorite song from uh
Randy Newman of the Toy Story theme fame. Okay. He wrote this song called Short People, and it's all about how short people have no good reason to live. Yep, yep, yep. Yep. It's one of his best pieces of work. You know what? He wrote it in 1977. Who would win, 151 short people or one billion lions? Definitely not the short people. Oh, those lions are going to kill those short people.
Yeah. So I think we've found our answer pretty handily here, guys, that the lions would beat the Pokemon. Okay. What is the next question here? I mean, that was an easy one. This is... Yeah. All right. Next question of the podcast. Is cereal soup? No. Oh.
This seems like a potential route to go down. It's not! What is soup? Doesn't matter! What is soup? Now, if we're going to engage in these questions, we've got to engage in these questions, you little rat. What is soup? First, tell me this. Is cereal soup? Just tell me what you believe. What is soup? No, no, no, don't answer my question. Just tell me how you feel about it. Tell me what you think soup is. Tell me. You pour your Cap'n Crunch into your bowl of milk. Blah, blah, blah, blah. Come on.
Well, my first thought is like, oh, here I am eating a bowl of cereal. Yeah, right. It's definitely cereal. It's, you know, but... If you have a bowl of tomato soup next to your cereal, do you say, ah, yes, my soups? Or do you say...
Hello, I have one bowl of cereal and also a soup unrelated to that. I'm looking up the definition of soup. A liquid dish typically made by boiling meat, fish, or vegetables in stock or water. So there we go. Nothing is boiled. The other definition is a substance or mixture perceived to resemble soup in appearance or consistency.
Okay, well, I would say that... Soup is primarily liquid food, generally served warm or hot, that is made by combining ingredients of meat or vegetables with stock and water. Cereal is not primarily a liquid food!
It is cereal! And the milk! The milk is added! You can eat cereal without milk! You can also eat SpaghettiOs without the sauce. You'd have to do a little bit of straining. SpaghettiOs aren't a soup! You can eat chicken without the soup! SpaghettiOs are definitely a soup. I don't think anyone's doubting the soupiness of SpaghettiOs. SpaghettiOs are 100% a soup, man. SpaghettiOs are a soup? I've never had SpaghettiOs.
You've never heard of SpaghettiOs? I know spaghetti. Have you ever seen the Chef Boyardee commercial where there's the cans rolling after the girl? SpaghettiOs are pasta. Going home? Everybody knows the commercial. SpaghettiOs are soup. Why is the soup chasing you home? It's got GPS. It got the vaccine. It's been drinking the tap water. Global positioning soup? What people usually think of when they think of soup is like
A broth, right? Tomato soup. Is milk... Can milk be considered a broth? I think that's the next question. No. I think the answer is yes. I think cereal can in fact be soup, Ted. And I think we've won the argument. I think I agree with you on that, Schlatt. So I'd say this is a victory. I think cereal is soup. Soup's not broth. Oh yeah. Oh yeah it is.
Oh, yeah, it is. I'd say Niven Schlatt Co. may have won this court case here. That's not right. No, I think it's true. Go back to your cave. Why do you sound like one of your guinea pigs right now? What's going on here? It's not a soup. Charlie. Soup.
It's over. It's over. Okay. What's the next question? Is water wet? Is one billion lions a soup? If they're in a lake. If they're trying to get Magikarp. Is that true? Yes, it's a fucking soup. Is that true? If one billion lions are in a muddy lake, is that a broth for lions? It's a large-scale soup. Is that a broth for lions? First of all, it's a Mr. Beast video. Second of all...
Yes, I think it's a show. Hey, everyone. This video was sponsored by Honey. Today, I put one billion lions in a big muddy broth. I'm Mr. Beast. He wouldn't say it like that. He would say, in today's... What's up, guys? In today's video, I put a billion lions in an ocean.
True. I literally turned the Pacific green. Dream ocean. All right. Well, let's get back to the question at hand. Dream ocean. Let's get back to the question at hand, which is, is water wet? I think that this has been tried and true and been beaten to death with this question. I was under the impression that if a fish is in water, then it is currently surrounded by water, and that's the existence that it existed already. So it's not wet. It's just wet.
there in the water. Are you- are you- are you- But if you were not normally- if you were normally dry and then water gets onto you, then that is wet because it went from the previous surface which was not involved with water and then water had become involved. That makes no fucking sense. That makes no fucking sense. So if you're underwater, are you not wet? Is that what I'm hearing? If I'm underwater-
I'm fucking wet. Ted, our business partnership has ended. I think water is very much wet. I don't. Well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, well, hold your freaking horses standing, buddy. I don't know if I could go that far. Well, I guess. What do you mean? Of course water's wet. It's water. Well, hold on. Hold on. I guess. You don't look at a pool and say that's one wet pool. Like, I guess if a fish is in. It's implied that it's wet. It's a fucking water. It's got water in it. It's around.
round it could be wet. What are you guys arguing with? If a fish is underwater, I would say, now that I think about it, that that is the fish itself is wet, but is the water... The fish is wet! The water creates the wetness. The water is not inherently the wetness itself. The water embodies the wetness! Shut the
It is wet! It's wet! Water's literally not wet. Wetness is a thing that is applied to another thing. Water does not need the wetness applied because it is water. Water applies the wetness. You are so dumb. What's going on, buddy? You just fucking blowing from stupid town? Of course water's wet. I'm gonna have to make a...
I'm going to have to make an injunction on our business partnership right now. Go back to the bog, creature. Go back to the bog. You're wrong. You're wrong. I'm going to have to cut off our business relationship slide. That's fine because I already did. I'm going to head over to the Charlie slide here. I already did. I already cut off the business relationship. Well, I mean, I'm just signing the papers and I'm making it official. Ted, you're so flip-flopping. I am going to push you. 30 seconds to go. I'm going to push you into a deep swamp and call it a soup.
All right. Listen, 30 seconds ago, fucking Mr. Nivison was talking about how if a fish is underwater, he isn't even wet. So what is this 360 cognitive dissonance bullshit that you're pulling on me? Well, I roll back that statement after I thought about it for a little bit because that fish is indeed wet because it's covered slash saturated in the water.
But the water itself, the molecule of water is not wet because it is the thing that makes things. You think you can just say molecule and add anything? You think you can just add any? I'm on your side, Charlie. What are you doing? You think you can get away with saying molecule on our podcast? I'm starting to think that maybe I'm not on my side.
Oh my God, dude. Is a fish underwater wet or is it wet when it is removed from the water? I know not. Well, that's bullshit. Of course the fish underwater is wet. Yeah, the fish underwater is wet, Charlie. Why? Okay, so Schlatt, I'm sorry we went through these tough times, but I'm thinking about starting a new business relationship with you. What do you think? Don't leave me. Okay, listen, take a look at this.
I spill water on my hand. Your hand's wet. My hand is wet. Now, what part is wet? The part that has the water on it? Or the part that doesn't have the water on it, that is dry?
What makes it wet? This is an insane argument. The water on my hand. This is insane. The water on my hand makes it wet. No, the water on your hand. My hand is wet. Your hand is wet. Your hand. So you're telling, okay, so Charlie, you're telling me if I pour water on my hand, on my finger, right, then my hand is wet, but the part of my finger isn't wet because the finger's underwater? I don't know.
You're so fucking stupid. You're telling me if I dipped my finger into a fucking cup of water that my finger wouldn't be wet, but technically my finger is wet? Oh, shit.
Charlie, there is a runaway trolley barreling down the railroad tracks. Ahead on the tracks, there are five people tied up. I think I'll be straight with you. I think I'm fucking on that trolley right now, man. So there's five people tied up on the track that the trolley's heading into. You can pull a lever on the wall. Yeah.
However, the train diverts its course, turns to the left, and crushes just one man. Just one man who's on the tracks. What do you do? Are any of them wet? No, none of them are wet. Okay, do they have any water on them? It is raining, though. So we're underwater, is what I'm hearing. We're underwater. But are the tracks wet? But no one is wet. There's a lion driving the train. And a 5'7 Charizard.
And a Gigantamax Charizard. On one rail is five Caterpies and on the other is a 91 foot tall Charizard. Now, that's an easy choice for Schlatt though because he loves the Gigantamax. I kill the Charizard for more meat. I love the Gigantamax Charizard. I kill the Charizard for more meat. No, no you don't. Yeah, I do. I kill it for XP. I have
I have my XP share on and I run the train through the Charizard. Clear slate, boys. Clear slate. There are five men going to be killed by this train.
If you pull the lever, sorry, the trolley, if you pull the lever, the trolley diverts, goes to the left, and you only kill one person. But you are kind of responsible for that death of the one person. And if you crash into five and you did nothing, then oh. I
It wasn't even my problem. I'd argue you're responsible for the five if you choose not to. I would say negligence is responsibility in itself, so I hit the lever and I live with the guilt for the rest of my life at the end. That's fair. I would say probably just the reduction of the most damage possible, so that would be the...
Although it does kind of suck to have to divert the path to kill that one person because they were like, oh, I'm in the clear. And then you get to say, no, no, no, you are not. It is a little awkward, but you won't have to deal with the awkwardness because the only person you'd share that awkwardness with is now dead. And then the other five are like, you're nice. And then you get five people who love you to death. Yeah.
And then we hit him with a train. Now, if it was five audio listeners tied to the track and there was one video listener and I had to turn it and kill that one video listener. Would you do it? I just might. You are such a sussy baka. You are such a sussy baka.
We were, you know, I can't believe you brought that out of the podcast. I cannot believe you've done this. But, you know, audio listeners, love you to death. And video listeners, it's important to note that the implication here now as well is audio listeners love you to death. Video listeners, I will hit you with a train given the chance. No, I won't.
No, I will divert a runaway trolley in order to save people that are not you. No, it is. No, no, no. If I am given a choice, I will hit you with a trolley. That is what Ted is currently saying to you. If given the choice. Yes. If given the choice. Yeah. Because it's our audio listeners that have gotten us to what position worldwide? No, not worldwide. In the USA, we're the number 22 podcast on Spotify.
How? First of all, how? 76% of our listeners are on Spotify. Listen, we had to make a couple sacrifices. Had to hit a couple people with the trolley, all right, or two. But here we are. Here we are. Exactly. That's actually crazy to think about. It is a little crazy. It's really weird. 15 episodes in? After thinking about it long and hard, I still don't understand.
But what I will say is that I don't think it is real because there are podcasts that are way more successful than ours that are. Although Joe Rogan is still number one on both the categories that we compete in. For how long? For how long, guys? He's probably been there for 100 years. Oh, you think we're going to pass Joe fucking Rogan? No, I don't think we're going to do that.
Absolutely not. Get us another question. Hey, thank you guys all so much for putting us in this position because it is surreal. We were talking about it. It does not feel like we are there. It is surreal. Every time we go and check, it feels actually like detached from this podcast and the experience of doing this podcast. There's also this just separate piece of information that we are number fucking whatever on a platform.
And like, I can't even, I can't even conceive it because it's so weird to have people that like we have listened to in the past. Cause generally, generally you guys just kind of show up each week and then just do it. And then I just like fill you in on that information. You're like, Oh, what? I came and talked for an hour. Absolutely true. Ted deserves much. Listen, we put Ted through the fucking ringer on this show.
Clap it up for Ted. He deserves so much more than that. Clap it up for Ted, everybody. Everybody listening, clap it up for Ted. He has absolutely carried the sandwich. Did I tell you guys about this? That I got a comment the other day that was like, hey, aren't you the one on Schlatt and Slimesicle's podcast? I just want to clear this up. We are forever guests on Ted's podcast. Thank you very much. That's why they're so comfortable being rude because I can't just kick them off.
Exactly. Exactly. But either way, listen, if we, we can't, you know, we can't fucking push Ted to his limit either. We got to look out for him because what happens if, what happens if he actually does decide to come to our baseball game and smack my kneecaps? I mean, nothing's stopping him. I can't stop him. You can't stop him.
Charizard can't stop him. He's 5'7". Megaton Charizard might be able to. He's out of PP. We're definitely setting the stage, though, for me to have my comedic snapping moment, my breaking point, if you will. And I think that we've got a really good thing going on here, guys.
here, guys. I agree. Now we move on to the next question. Jesus Christ, you sure love to talk. We're looking good, you pieces of shit. What's the next thing on the agenda here? Gentlemen, how many holes are in a straw? Fuck. Who? Or is it one long hole? It's one hole that goes all the way through, right? That's one hole. There's one hole in that straw. Yeah, it is one hole. It's a cylinder. Okay, donut. I got an easy answer. I got an easy way to solve this. Solve this riddle.
A donut has a hole. That's true. Only one munchkin comes from that donut. I don't want to talk about donut holes. Only one munchkin. No munchkins here.
You stretch the donut hole. You elongate the donut hole. You got a little bit of a donut tube. Weirdly shaped munchkin. There's still one hole. I've never added. I didn't add one hole, right? It's the same amount of holes. So it seems to reason I've made a donut straw. There's still one hole. So one hole's in the straw.
I think we all agree on this. Yeah, I think we all agree. This was an easy one. This was an easy one. This was very easy. This was very easy. If you disagree with us, go ahead and rate us five stars on iTunes. Okay, next one. Love that. Can pineapple go on pizza? Yeah, absolutely it can. It can. It can. It can. It's important to answer the question asked. Is it morally correct? Yes, absolutely. It's good. I think it's good. No, it should not go on pizza.
All right, so we've got side A. We've got Schlatter. There's a mood for everything. There's a mood for everything. There can be a mood to put pineapple on pizza. Absolutely. It goes so well with, I think, bacon. Yeah, I might one day want to shove a big dildo up my ass, but I haven't done it yet. And does that make it wrong? You know. I mean, you've got the training kit, so you're closer than something. I do have the training kit. It sends me my Justin Minx. And maybe we need to give you a little bit of a pineapple pizza training kit. Maybe.
I think there's a time and a place for pepperoni to not even go on pizza. I think pizza is at its best. At the dough, at the cheese, at the sauce. And I think that's it. You can go down to a fucking corner shop in New York City, you get a dollar slice. I mean, that's the best pizza you'll ever fucking eat. And what's on it? Cheese, sauce, dough. That's it.
That's it. Do I need pineapple on pizza? No. Maybe unless you live outside of New York where you need something extra to make it taste better because the fucking tap water. You got to ship in the fucking water. I mean, sure. You probably just live somewhere inferior if you think pineapple belongs there. So what you're saying is you're kind of a purist with pizza. Oh, yeah. Same with bagels, too. Same with bagels. I'm a big snob. A little bit of a racist with your pizza. I'm a pizza racist.
I don't think pineapple and pizza cooperate. So Charlie, now it's your turn to, you know, what's your, what's your case? I think it's good. I, there's a, there's a very few things. I think it's good. Listen, man, I've argued long and hard here tonight about a number of things. Pineapple on pizza is,
I I've done it numerous times. There's absolutely times when I'm in the mood for pineapple on pizza. I think it's a completely different experience than just a regular, like even a New York pizza. You want something different. If I go to New York, if I get like a fucking pizza from a place that a friend has recommended, I'm not going to start with pineapple.
pineapple but if i am sitting to myself i'm just sitting there i'm like i want a pizza and i want something kind of sweet on it and maybe i don't want something with like apple and maple and arugula which i also think is good i think you're allowed to switch it up make it artisan i'll put i'll put pineapple on i think hawaiian pizza is good so you know i think there's certain forms of pizza maybe if you're in a specific place pineapples maybe not the right move but can it go on pizza should it go on pizza absolutely if you want it to i think it's enjoyable
I will judge you, though. I think that the only appropriate zone for pineapple to be on pizza is for it to be that pizza with the ham and the pineapple. Because that's the zone of pizza. But I think that that's the only zone it can exist in. I don't think that people should be allowed to be making... It works with bacon. Hold on. You had your moment. Now let me speak my truth. I'm just saying. I'm just saying.
Speak his truth. I think that it can only be restricted to that one category of the Hawaiian pizza. I think that when you shouldn't be, I think that all pizza places across the country, if someone wants to like have a pepperoni and pineapple pizza, I think that they need to get like kicked out and banned. I don't think there should be any sort of custom options for throwing pizza or pineapple onto pizzas in which it does not belong.
All right. I think it's got a certain category. Keep it to that. Make those pineapple lovers happy. But stay out of my custom zone. Stay out of my fucking pepperoni pie. Stay away from my regular cheese. I don't want to see that. Dare I suggest something. A little bit of a genre bender. A little bit of a titty twister.
Pineapple and barbecue chicken. No. Yeah. What the fuck? No. Absolutely. Pineapple and barbecue chicken, I think, go very well together. You could do it as a wrap. You could do it as a lot of things. A wrap? We're talking about pizza. What the fuck does that even mean? I'm just saying the flavors, the sweetness compliments each other. Jesus Christ. Pineapple and bacon. Is it?
I'm shutting this conversation down. You're being a little bit of a liberal today. I'm taking a very hard line approach to this topic, which is if you want pizza, why would you get a worse pizza? First of all, I've lived in New York for 21 years in a row. In a row! Charlie, what you told me is making me a little uncomfortable, and Schlatt is my safe space right now.
I want the best pizza. I want the best pizza, right? What's the best pizza? New York cheese. That's it. You don't need fucking anything else. You don't want the best. Listen to me. I moved to Texas in February. I moved to Texas in February of 2021, and I have not had a single fucking slice since then. Because I don't think I want one. We're all going to die.
gonna die and you're too scared to put pineapple on pizza. If I'm ever to the point where I'm like, yeah, my pizza's so bad, I need pineapple to make it taste better. Fucking take me out, bro. Fucking kill me. Charlie, you gotta understand that
the quality of a pie is determined by the cheese slice all right the tap water and you need you need to understand that if you're if you're if you're saying if you go to a pizza place and you're like oh they're pineapple barbecue chicken pizza is so good but then you won't go and order one of the regular cheese slices because you don't like them that's a that's a message from big pizza god himself that you know first of all you don't know what you're talking about
And second of all, maybe that pizza isn't as good as you think it is. I don't think, listen, man, I don't think the toppings make the pizza. I just think that the combo can work if you already have a good base. Okay, man? That's all I'm saying. Sure, it can work. But here at Chuckle Sandwich, Charlie. Just as well as the combo of a bat in your knees, Charlie. And I will say this.
On Chuckle Sandwich, we are perfectionists. We strive for the best every single time. What is you? If you had the Chuckle Sandwich to yourselves, you would probably just put a little mozzarella in it and call it a day. Maybe that's all it needs, Charlie. Maybe that's all it needs. It's not. It needs more. It needs flavor. It needs variation. It needs boldness and creativity. You pizza racist. This is a request. You pizza racist.
MrBeast's a racist! This is a request to MrBeast himself. What do we got to do, MrBeast, to let you... or to let us...
The three of us design a chuckle sandwich sandwich to go at Mr. Beast Burger. What do we got to do to get a chuckle sandwich themed burger? Put it right next to the Dream Burger. Yeah, put it right under the Dream Burger, maybe even above it. This is making me hungry for a pizza. This is making me hungry for a pizza with a white sauce base.
Oh, yeah, baby. Oh, yeah. I think you were saying that to piss Schlatt off. Give me a little pesto in there. Give me a little pesto. You're trying to piss me off. But listen, I'm in my Zimmer. But the white slice is a completely well-known New York slice, Charlie. You're not doing any damage here to Schlatt.
flat or me shooting blanks buddy you're shooting okay no sauce no sauce okay well now you're just literally a white pizza but i mean okay no it's what whoa whoa whoa whoa whoa hold on i found anyways i found something here cats or dogs how about it uh can put pineapple on them no okay don't take any what
I like dogs more than cats. Yeah, me too. Okay, that's fair. Yep. Okay. Did you ever have a dog when you were growing up? No, I had a lizard. Oh, right. Which is that? Is that a dog or a cat? It's more of a cat because lizards won't annoy you your whole life.
They just sit and do their own thing most of the time. And then you can take them out and chill with them for like a couple hours in the day. And that's what my cat does. That's why I like them. That's why I like them. My cat does it. I'm not the center of his life, and I respect that. Dogs require more, I think, for sure. Yeah, they do. I'm into low-maintenance pets. I have guinea pigs. They're more like cats, I guess. I don't really walk them that much. Yeah, I feel like this one's pretty simple because it's like...
it could become too personal too quick if you start bragging on cats because we love Jambo. Jambo's a beautiful cat. It was great. I think it's really just whatever you had as a kid you're going to like more honestly. Yeah. I mean, I don't, I have an inclination to not like cats because every time I'm near them my body wants to die. Um,
Um, but you know, I also had, I had a couple of dogs growing up. So instead you got a squealing loaf of bread. Little spud. Uh, no, but I had, I had two dogs, two dogs growing up, two dogs growing up. A little tater. I had Wolfgang and Constanza growing up were my two dogs growing up. Constanza? Wolfgang and Constanza. Not Constanza? No, not Constanza. Constanza is how we pronounced it. Um,
And they were super nice. They died when I was pretty young, though. And then we got Chloe. This was a... Wait, what's Costanza? Dogs. These were dogs. It's a dog? Costanza was this... Who named the dog? I don't remember the breed so long ago. My mom and my dad. I think your parents were drunk and they named it after George Costanza and then they just tried to change the pronunciation to make it seem like that's not what happened. They had lived in Austria for a long time before this and I think they got them while they were there. Yeah, yeah. Oh.
Oh, okay. But Constanza was a little bit of a motherfucker. She ate all of Wolfgang's food, and then Wolfgang would stick his head under the couch for hours. So that was that. Sounds like a drama household. And then I got Chloe when I was a kid, when a family member rescued Chloe and then quickly realized that it was too much to take care of her. So she dropped her off with us and said, look, your kids love them. They love her. And then my brother and I forced...
Our mom to let us keep the dog. And then Chloe is like a cat, is the thing. She doesn't like me. She always is like, she's always giving you the side eye.
Dogs are really good at the side. A lot of dogs are. She doesn't get excited. She walks very slowly and methodically. She sneaks everywhere. Doesn't bark. Oh, is this dog a rescue? Yeah, but she never... Yeah, so when we first... When my parents first got the rescue dog, Saoirse, that I don't know this dog very well. It's like my parents' dog because they got it after I moved out.
It's a rescue dog. Yeah. And it was from a puppy mill where they forced it to have babies all the time. But it was an abused dog, pretty much. So when they first got it, it would literally move at like two miles per hour, like...
Like, literally, like, I'm doing it right now so the video listeners hate you to death can see it. It's, like, the slowest movement of anything you could ever see. And it was kind of funny. It was a little funny. But it was sad where it came from. But it looked like the dog was, like, a spy. Right. Chloe used to have a thing about, like, people with hats and, like, brooms and vacuums and stuff. So, you know, I don't know what happened. But she's very much past all that. People with hats? Yeah.
People with hats. Yeah. Same thing with that dog. Same thing with that dog. And they also... Did it have a thing against people walking up and down the stairs? No. I genuinely think it's just the pass of the dog. And everyone that wears a baseball cap around the house, I guess, is just an asshole. Well, that's the thing from the puppy mill thing with hats, with...
Saoirse was that a lot of the people who worked at the puppy mill would wear fucking hats because they were on farms and stuff. That's why you adopt. That's why you adopt. And that's why whenever Sean walks into a room with a rescue dog, he's going to get mauled. Exactly. And that's fine. But yeah, no, those animals deserve good lives. Props to your parents for giving it to them. Giving it to them. Props to you for adopting Jambo. If I was pouring a...
If I was pouring, I'm gonna change the subject now. Sure. To keep us on track here. Which do you pour first?
While making cereal, the cereal or the milk? The cereal. Yeah, the broth. What? What? I'm just kidding. Okay. It splashes everywhere. This is just a practicality question. This is just are you stupid and how willing are you to defend me? That's all this question is. The only situation when you pour the cereal second is when you've already finished one bowl and you're going for seconds. Absolutely. Yep.
Do you guys drink the milk at the bottom or no? I don't do it. It's too sweet. If it's like Cocoa Puffs, if it makes a nice, delicious, chocolatey... Yeah, nice chocolatey broth, for sure. Yeah, a little broth. Hold on. You see what he's doing there, isn't he? No, I'm just... Listen, man, I'm just providing examples so that when this is later cited... Were you on the side of the cereal being a soup or not? Yeah, cereal is soup.
So you would say that milk mixed with Cocoa Puffs is a chocolate, is a milky broth. Chocolate broth. So Charlie, you believe that cereal is soup. No, I believe that chocolate mixed with- Ted, he had an aneurysm about this, okay? He stopped speaking English for a bit, all right? You brought it up. You said weight, Schlatt, when I said that, and my fucking jaw started hurting.
All right. My temples in the back of my head, my fucking cranial lobe started pulsating. I don't even know if that's a thing. It's not. It's super not. My alboblushes started going. Okay, next question, Ted. He's breaking down again. He's short-circuiting. What color is nothing? What color is nothing? Is white or black the one that is all colors together? White is all colors. Black is the absence.
I paint on a bunch of things that make black and all white. Tell me that. Don't care. Don't care. If white is all the colors, then why is it that when I paint... This is in regards to the spectrum of light, Charlie. Is it? I don't see that fucking in parentheses here. I don't see that in brackets. Charlie, have you seen...
space dude have you seen space what is this light what is this light shit yeah right I'd like you know what I'll fucking I'll believe it when I see it no literally just if it's not it's night for you you just go outside and you look up
So you're telling me that that white... What? Oh, yeah, that makes sense. Look, there's lobsters that can see more colors than we can. And, I mean, try explaining a new color. You can't. Do we have one on for this episode? Our eyes just suck. We don't have a lobster. No, there's no lobster on call because they don't speak. Yeah, can somebody... Can we get Dream on? Is he a lobster? He's not a lobster. What?
Why? Scott, can you throw a lobster on the screen with a phone in its hand, please? Thank you, Scott. Hello, lobster. Hey, lobster. Charlie, you're the lobster. Go. Oh! What? What? You know what that is? That's the sound of a lobster drowning in boiling water before it's being prepared. Oh!
Oh, you remember those restaurants that would have vending machines with the fucking lobsters and you could win one? Vending machines? Oh, yeah. I remember the grocery stores. The crane game. They've got the crane game. Yes. That sounds very fun. Where is this? I've been to seafood restaurants that have a fucking crane. Oh, like legal seafood or something? Yes. Yeah. No. Well, it's just a bunch of lobsters in the tank. You got a little fucking game.
game arcade claw and it goes down. Oh my God. That's absolutely barbaric. That is terrible. That is absolutely barbaric. I love it. That's hilarious. It's pretty cool. It's pretty cool. We like to have fun around here. Oh my God. PETA would just bust in there with shotguns if they had a firearms license. I doubt they could get away with it now, but they were definitely a thing. I've definitely seen some. Definitely a cancelable offense on Twitter. That's for sure. Um,
I don't know how much that is saying, though. Yeah, I mean, everybody who's canceling right now is going to be canceled by their grandkids once they figure out that, uh-oh, we eat meat? We still eat meat now? What? We have pets? What do you mean you cut down a tree for Christmas?
What the fuck? What the hell? It's all relative. You observed religion? Yeah, but I mean, hey, that's coming from a Pisces. That's not the direction I was going. I was going the everything is just going to be dirt direction. You ate rice? You ate rice with a spoon? You ate almonds? Do you know how much water those take to produce? I mean, well, actually, that's why oat milk is my number two milk as opposed to normal whole milk because oat milk is the least...
It uses the least water of any alternative milk. I drink oat milk. Some of the worst milks to drink are rice milk and almond milk. That makes sense. Those use a shit ton of water. Almonds take a shit ton to make. But speaking of rice, do you guys eat rice with a fork or a spoon? Fork. Fork. Fork. Yep. All right. Yep. Yep. Yep. That's not too hard. That's what you eat dinner with. I don't eat dinner with spoons. And I'm not going to eat like- Unless I'm eating soup. Maybe I'd eat rice-
I wouldn't eat rice on its own if I did. Maybe I'd use a spoon. I can't believe you said that. You said you only use a spoon if you're eating soup. What else do you use a spoon for? Eating cereal. Eating cereal. Is the thumb a finger? Who the fuck wrote this question? I might say that it's copy pasted under my name, but that's not true. It's definitely from you, Charlie, in this topic chat. All right, give me your answers then, assholes. Give me your answers. Yes. Okay.
Okay. Yes, the thumb is a finger. All right, great. Technically, it's not. Scientifically, it's not a finger. What are you talking about? We have ten of them. Get fucked, asshole. Die. Next question. Let's go. Whoa. Okay, all right. That's right. That's right. If you clean out a vacuum cleaner. I'm a little pulsating right now. If you clean out a vacuum cleaner, are you a vacuum cleaner? Yes. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, by definition. No, you're a vacuum cleaner cleaner.
I mean, you are a vacuum cleaner. You're right, Charlie. Yeah, you are. No, that's right. That's true. If you mix dirt and water, are you making the water dirty or the dirt wet?
Both. Depends on the ratio, right? You're doing both. Hey, guys, I just want to apologize. While we're talking about all this dirt, I feel dirty. I feel dirty and wet because I told you guys earlier, about 30 seconds ago,
You know, I was going on this whole trip about how the thumb is in the finger. You had such a reflection moment in that time. And I just want to say that I felt like the water getting dirty when I did that. And I just want to apologize to each of you. Yeah. What did you say? I don't understand what's going on anymore. I don't really either. I was very aggressive when I explained to you that the thumb was not a finger. Charlie, you've been aggressive this entire episode. We've been fairly aggressive this episode. Uh-huh, uh-huh.
Listen, we had a lot of these hypotheticals and I wanted to come in pretty hot, okay? And I guess I've come in a little too hot. And now I need you guys to cool me down. I think this is... I feel like this is leaning towards some terrible pun. It does. You sound like a sussy balker right now, Charlie. How can we cool you down, Charlie? It wasn't. Now I gotta think of one. Fuck.
Wow. Think of one and then we'll end the podcast. Yeah, think of one right now and then we're going to end this podcast. By the way, I heard you clapping along, audio listeners. Your hands sound weak. They sounded like two flabby pieces of meat touching instead of two medium rare pieces of T-bone steak.
slapping each other around. I'm hoping that the audio listeners, when they clap, it sounds like a delectably tender piece of Kobe beef, maybe even snow beef. Kobe beef? Snow beef? I'm looking for some heavy marbleization in between the tendons of your hands. Listen, guys, we've had a lot of arguments here today. At least we can all agree we've got big meaty friends.
You're biffing this right now, dude. Okay, hang on. Guys, I got a pun. I got a pun. Okay. We're just putting on you to end the podcast. We put the fish in the water. You sound like you're drunk. What is going on? We couldn't agree. It's so hot in here, dude. I'm sweating. I'm sweating. But listen, we put the fish in the water. We couldn't agree on what it was. What's on my finger? What's on my hand? What moisture level makes something submerged? Yep. But here's what I think, guys.
I think we just let it go. Number six comedy podcast for a week. Let's go, baby. Thank you so much for watching the Chuckle Sandwich. It's all here, baby. We got the puns. I mean, the title of the podcast itself is a pun. So, I mean, there you go.
But thank you guys so much for listening to this episode of the Chuckle Sandwich Podcast. Charlie, shut up. I'm signing off here. Thank you guys so much for listening to this episode of the Chuckle Sandwich Podcast. Make sure to rate it five stars on iTunes or wherever the fuck. If you're watching on YouTube, like the video. Thanks, guys. Peace. Bye. All right, video listeners. Hit you with a trolley later.