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It's been a while. It has been a while. I'm like, I'm like, I'm just waiting for it to come out. What are we doing here? What's this whole thing we got going on? Who are you? You're up there.
We got a giggle. Oh, he's excited. He's like a giggle. I hate that laugh. That laugh. It sounds like a clown every time he does it. It actually makes me kind of angry. What's the problem? You're pissing Charlie off. Why are you doing it? Does it make you kind of mad? Am I pissing you off? Am I pissing you off, Charlie? Well, not anymore. But like if I hear one more little giggle, I just don't know. You know what happens when Charlie gets too angry? He turns into the incredible Chulk.
Dude, I don't know why, as soon as you said angry, the word chulk hit my brain in a flash before you said it, and it felt like a fucking double whammy. I'm imagining the... I'm chulking out. You know that Photoshop of Bulk Charlie? Just put it green, and that's the incredible chulk right there. I turn big and smooth and beige.
And start ravaging all over. Like a marshmallow man? Like the Michelin man in Ghostbusters? Like a big muscular bag. And I just start wrecking shit. This is such a... My brain is just bouncing all around the visual references in my mind to try to pinpoint what you're painting for me right now. It's like how the Hulk becomes green. I don't.
I just become the same like pantone of just this beige. Just fully big, big beige man. It just sounds like you get angry and then you just start growing like a tumor. Like really fast. And you just become this smooth monster. Yeah, yeah. Wow. Do you have the same powers as the Hulk or is it different than that? No, I'm much smoother. You're just a smooth...
Benign, tumorous mass. Friction and lack thereof that comes with it. Oh, okay. That's a new Ryan Reynolds movie, Smooth Guy. I keep getting angrier and angrier because I'm trying to break stuff, but I just keep sliding off. This is incredibly unbranded. I just keep sliding off everything. I'm spinning around. I'm sliding, and I keep getting angrier and bigger and beiger. Does anyone else have this problem? Welcome to the Chuckle Sandwich Podcast.
Schlatt, what are you like when you're not- do you think when Schlatt's not angry he turns like back into a kid?
And the current state of him is when he's in angry form. Yeah, like what if he's always been the schlulk as we've known him? Yeah, I just imagine when he first did his face reveal and it was like the smooth-faced, hearts around, hearts around, all over, fan cam schlatt. And that's how he goes. It's sort of like the smooth, normal SpongeBob. Ha ha ha!
I knew something had to change that day. It was the first day, too. It was the first day. It was the first moment. Yeah. I face revealed the day I left for San Diego to TwitchCon in 2019. I spent the entire, like, even the Uber ride to the airport. I was like, fuck, does this guy know who I am now? Now that...
Spent the entirety of my wait at the terminal like this. Like, I was actually terrified of what was happening. And I knew something had to change, so I got ugly. You started feeling a tingling right in your lower cheeks. Yeah, I started feeling it grow out, you know? Destiny started growing upon thy cheeks. Exactly. Welcome, everyone, back to the first episode of the Chuckle Sandwich podcast in the new year.
here with I can't believe it's been a whole year since we've done a podcast oh yeah
It's been a whole year since I did poopy. You haven't shit in four days? Dude, you need to go to the hospital now. I'm Ted Nibison. I'm here with Charlie Slime-sacool. What's up, guys? Seriously, you're going to go into septic shock. We need to get you there. And Shlatt is here as well. Heaven shit. You've got to take a shlitt, bro. You've got to take a shlitt. I'm not taking a little shlitt.
I don't like little Schlitt is one of the fowler things that have graced my ears so far in 2022. The best part of your username being Schlatt is all of the words that come out just with Schl at the beginning of everything.
Oh, Schlag, my favorite man. I'm feeling a little tired. I got to take a little schlumber, you know? Oh, a little schlap. I'm feeling, I want to start a fire, but I don't have any wood. I got to go get some schlumber. Not before you get a little schlindle. Or use a schlatch. Yeah. Hey, look, I'm a popular guy, you know? A lot of people, have you seen the Schlarpit?
What is the schlarpet? It's a fucking item on Redbubble with my face on it. It's a carpet. Sounds like a little alien. It's a carpet. Yeah, it's a carpet. Oh, schlarpet. Okay. Yeah, the schlarpet. That tracks. That tracks. Sounds like the sidekick in like an 80s cartoon. Schlad and his trusty sidekick schlarpet. Come on, schlarpet.
Which is just literally a carpet version of him that has like it unrolls. And it's like one of those guys that are like, you want to buy a watch and it's all of his tools.
But it's like, it's just, just tiny little photos. It's got the personality of the map from Dora. Um, how is your guys just break? We took a very, very long break from the charcoal sandwich pod cast and now we're back. How was your guys's break? I mean, we haven't been terrible. Yeah. I've been in a legal battle with the state of Texas. Can you believe it? Yeah. And we'll, yes, actually very much. Yeah. I can believe that.
I'm honestly surprised it took them this long. Listen, we'll save the bad news for the end. But, I mean, this is happy time. This is happy time on Chuckle Sandwich. We're all back. Yeah, we're all back together. We're making New Year's resolutions to be worse people. To be bigger, to be badder, to be beiger. To be faster.
Faster. I'm trying to get... To work it harder. Faster, you know? To make it better. Everybody knows that the way that you judge a man is how fast they can run, as far as I know. So I'm trying to build up some speed...
Perhaps we could have a Chuckle Sandwich open invitational next Chuckle Week that we do. Mmm. You know? That'd actually be kind of a funny thing, is if we just do one video and release it on this channel of us just training and just trying to see who's the fastest on the podcast. Chuckle Sandwich Speed Contest? Yeah.
I feel like Charlie would win. I like how we're saying getting faster is a bit when it's just training for a race. That's a very real thing. Let's be real. It would not be even close. Charlie would win by a large margin, and I would lose by a large margin. He just turned beige, and he would be a blur. A beige blur. I'd just start punching the ground and sliding faster and faster. Ted, let's see how fast you've gotten. Yeah? I just ran around the world.
Oh, my God. Scott, slow that down. There is an example online of me running very, very fast, though, and that is me booking it after the 17-year-old British child, Tubbo,
During his IRL stream, the tag in which I don't think I did. I ever talk about this on the podcast. You did it. I would love to hear about this because it looked like a lot of fun. So, yeah, Tubbo was in town. He was he was in L.A. for a bit and he wanted to do a IRL tag. And it was it was a very I got to say it was a very interesting process for the whole like.
like set up of that, of that thing, because a lot of the people who were running it were either, you know, not from in town or were British and had never been to America before ever or LA. So the area that they showed us of where we were going was like a ridiculously busy spot in, in Hollywood. And I was like, Oh man, this is going to be interesting already from the get go. Cause they chose the Grove. And if you don't know what the Grove is, it's, um,
It's like a shopping mall, shopping center. An outdoor shopping center. A promenade, if you will. Oh, I see. A promenade, yeah. Yeah, and it's very busy. It's in the middle... It's in the Hollywood area. And they decided that would be the place to play tag. Tag with cameras and stuff. And so...
I'm partnered up with Sneak Snag, and we're hunters. People are in teams of two, and they're hunters. That's my... Everybody knows that I'm doing a shakalaka. That's the Sneak Snag sign. And we were supposed to be hunting the people, and the first thing that Sneak and I did was we went into the grove, and we went and got pretzels, and we were hanging out, and we didn't... Oh, you got fucking pretzels? Yeah, we got... Well...
Maybe you got a little hot dog, too? We got some pretzels. Oh, yeah. We got lemonade. We got Wetzel's Pretzels. Mmm. Yummy. Wetzel's Pretzels? Yeah. Sort of like the Auntie Anne's of the West. Auntie Anne's of the West. Yeah. Wetzel's Pretzels. For better or worse. Yeah. It'll go right through you. But we were...
It was a content thing, so it was like, don't go 100% hard and trying to get people. Maybe make some good moments out of it, that kind of thing. Yeah, whatever. And you wanted to make it sure it lasts so the stream is long enough. So it wasn't like we were just booking it, trying to get people in 10 minutes. So we were hanging out. But we were in the Grove eating our pretzels and...
We sneak-sees that Tubbo and I'm... Oh my god, I'm forgetting his name right now. But Tubbo and another streamer that was with him that I met recently and I feel bad that I'm forgetting his name. Was it Bilzo? No, it wasn't Bilzo. Bilzo? Ranboo? We're walking by and I had to make a decision there where I was like, should I go after him and get the person who's running the stream and...
And I just was like, fuck it. And I just jump out of my chair because they were trying to spy on us. I jump out of my chair and I just book it out of him through the grove. This is a busy area. And I told him beforehand, if I'm running after someone, I'm going to run like Tom Cruise. So I'm running like this with my hands at knife hand mode. Oh, yeah. And we – it's hard to see. Cutting through the air. Yeah, cutting through the air actually giving me more speed and –
It's hard to determine what's going on in the clip that there is, but when we are running, Tubbo is sprinting and I am sprinting and there are people around in a public area and people aren't, don't usually sprint through malls. The only other time, the only time that you can ever imagine people sprint through malls is when, I don't know, someone has robbed a store. Yeah. Um,
So I'm like dodging and weaving in and out through people. And, and. Oh my God. We probably went like a hundred meters at most. And then I caught him, but, and we got. A hundred meter dash. Oh yeah. And then we. Whoa.
But almost immediately after that we got kicked out of the Grove like a security guard came out of nowhere. You probably scared the shit out of someone. You were a big guy. Oh yeah. To be going at top speed in a public area. Dude. I would absolutely not move out of the way. I would fucking die. I was like a freight train. If somebody some fucking little kid came walking by I would have knocked him to kingdom come. That kid would have been dead in the Grove. Child dead in the Grove due to knee of six foot four YouTuber. Oh yeah.
You probably had to try to go that slow too. That must have been hard. Yeah. No, it's hard to sometimes I have to sort of reduce my, I'm sort of like. Your body does not create that much drag. I'm like Dash from Incredibles. I have to, I have to artificially reduce my speed so I don't scare people. So Ted, you were sitting down eating the Wetzels. Yeah. You see Tubbo. Do you have to, did you, did you cross the street?
Did you, like, cross traffic to get to this kid? That's all... The area we were in was an entirely walkable area. It's, like, just, like, an open... It's, like, a mall. It's, like... Got it. Yeah, it was just, like, pathways and stuff, like, pedestrian pathways. But I did jump over a bush and, like, jumped out of the chair. And I didn't finish my pretzels. Like, I was in the middle of Eden, and I jumped, and I ran. And then, you know... Not only that, but later on in the stream, they...
fucking British streamer fucks. Wow. Can you imagine if I just left it at that? I thought that was it, yeah. There was, you know, James Corden, Late Late Show with James Corden?
There was a film set just on the other side of the street, on the other side of the group, because NBC Studios is there. Was fucking James Corden stopping traffic again to do his little cat dance? Yeah, not specifically his cat dance. Run that guy over. You actually pause one frame in the ad they do during his cat dance. You can see Ted. He looks a little bit like this wide blur in the background. Knife hands.
Fully just frozen, full stride, three feet above the ground. I see somebody's knees that needs to be broken. Ted, I asked if you were crossing traffic because that's exactly what you want to do if a police dog is chasing you if you've committed a crime. If a dog is after you, they are so laser focused on you that you have to run through traffic and the dog will not care about the cars that are hitting it. What?
Schlatt, why do you know this information? I think I'm starting to have an idea of what this Texas call was about earlier. Schlatt's Google history. If a tech dog is chasing you, you can either yell, at it because it speaks German and that means stop. Or you just run into traffic and the thing dies because it doesn't care about the car system.
It's only looking at you. So it's really just a gamble of who's better at Frogger. You are the attack dog.
Exactly. And only one of you has got periphery. Let me tell you, that dog gets tunnel vision real quick. It would have saved me a lot of energy if I had an attack dog in that Hunter's thing. I could have just said, sick him. Sick him, yeah, exactly. Purebred German Shepherd on Tubbo. Probably would have gotten that confused with German and run straight into traffic. The James Corden thing, though...
He was doing a, it's basically just a flash mob where he stops traffic and, but it's a whole, whole film production. They've got a whole crew there. They've got people running cameras that are hooked up to the fucking stop signs and stuff like that. Um, and there's a large crew and they have people kind of cordoned off cordoned. Um, uh, is that the word that I get? Is that the actual, I don't know, but I like that you did it. So it's just, he's just so amazing. Um,
And it was for BTS. Oh, that makes sense. They were doing a flash mob with BTS. So it was a big deal. And I'm sure that everyone on that crew knew how big of a deal it was. And then you've got like a bunch of streamers, some of them in ghillie suits, walking around with their gimbals and their small little Sony A6100s with cameras. And also got who we have walkie talkies on our hips.
Just walking around this film set and the crew members are like what's going on here? It got to the land and they were just kind of like sitting chilling not giving the care in the world and it got to the point where like one of the like security people who are on the set they came up to like me to talk to me and they were like We don't know what you guys are doing. Like you guys are walking around with walkie-talkies. You've got cameras we
We don't know what the deal is, but we need you out of our set. And it was like, he was being like really intense. And like being the film guy, I was like, I got it.
I understood and I didn't want to piss him off because that inner part of me didn't want to be like, I'm like, I know you guys. Come on. I'm not responsible for these fucking British kids. They don't know what the hell's going on. Come on, guys. I'm on set all the time. Come on, guys. I'm always filming. I know what it's like. I made James Marriott's gold. I directed a music video last month. Here, you've got to watch it, man. You've got to. I'm pulling it up right here. That's me behind the camera, man. I'll send you the link. James Marriott gold. I'm just like you. I'm just like you.
But yeah, I mean, overall, it was... Let me up there! Let me up there! Yeah, it was a bit stressful. It was a bit stressful. I had to go on the walkie-talkie and be like, Tubbo, Bilzo, Rambo, guys, get the fuck out of there. Because I was stressed. I was a little stern with them, I'll be honest. But yeah, no, it was a fun stream. Yeah, that's the story. That was a bit lengthy, but that's the story of how I chased after him in that stream. Did you tag anyone on BTS? Get them out? I wish. I wish I could have tagged Jungkook.
I would have tagged Jimin. Honestly, fuck BTS. I'll say it. Whoa, dude! Ted, you're crazy for saying that. You're crazy for saying that. They interrupted our stream. We were just doing some Twitch shit, man. And they're interrupting our stream. Ted, you keep talking like that and someone's going to tag you, man. Someone's going to get you out. I hope they do because it'll increase my speed tenfold. Every time someone chases me, I get faster out of fear.
We're going to take out everyone in BTS and make it stand for Big Ted Speed. Big... That was quick. I like that, Charlie.
man not as quick as you ted oh thank you charlie so much charlie how was your christmas it was uh it was good i actually no actually it wasn't i was completely alone um what yeah everything got snowed in and one of the guinea pigs was sick so i had to spend christmas here with the with the pigs but afterwards i got i got to make it back up to family and they all waited to do stuff for me which
It was very, very cool. So I got my Christmas, but first I got a little pigmas. I gave him clementines. Now, what did you get? What did Santa bring you? Okay, yeah, the big questions. I got... You know what? Why don't I just show you? While we're waiting, Schlatt, you have a good Christmas? Keep it short. Yeah. I got a... Because, you know, I am far from home, like that Spider-Man movie or some shit. Okay. I was gifted a...
little like pcb board that had tiny little leds that mapped every subway station in the new york city metropolitan area oh that's cool and it connected it connects to wi-fi and it pulls like the subway data from the nta site my god in real time it displays on on the map where all the subways are oh my god that is much cooler than my fucking gift charlie holy shit look at that
It says, oh, snap. Wow. Disregard anything I ever said. Yeah. Oh, my gosh. Whatever you said, it's just fucking. Look at that. Check this out. Check this out. Wow. So first time I'm going to say this in the new year, audio listeners love you to death. Charlie is wearing a gorgeous, glorious hat.
Oh, look at that. Look at the light there. Do you see that? Christmas sweater with sleeveless. Sleeveless Christmas sweater. Sleeveless with frills around where the sleeves are cut off. He's dancing. And even down here, a little... This is incredible. A little Christmas jingle. Oh, my goodness. And then I got a bird feeder. And a bird feeder. Wow. A bird feeder. Wow. What a bird. Charlie...
You know, the sleeveless nature of that shirt sort of begs the question, are you going to get, like, ridiculously ripped in your arms so that when you go out to be, you know, feed your birds, it's like you kind of can pose, show your... Oh, and then the birds land on his bicep? So, really, it's not working out. It's maximizing the perch, okay? I want to have maximum surface area for every fowl that decides...
to come down. I stand out there. You're foul specific? I find a good branch orientation so that I look kind of tree-like. I dress my hair with little leaves and twigs and I stand there for hours and hours and hours, seed in every orifice until I am coated
That sounds a lot like scaphism. What is scaphism? I think we had that talk with Swagger Souls back in the day. You cover yourself in honey. No, no, no. No milk. Absolutely no milk. No honey. Completely just dry, dry food.
Dry food. Does that ever piss you off when the fucking squirrels get to your bird feeder? Yes. Does that shit piss you off? It does. And they always find a fucking way. I have this. Seriously. The only thing stopping this squirrel from getting to my bird feeder is the fact that it's done it so many times it is now too fat to accomplish it. It is like just the natural cycle and now it has to wait. Wow.
Gus, it is so it is so smart and it is so large and it will just keep it'll keep finding a way. I had this squirrel proof one where you had to like put pressure as soon as the squirrel lands on it, it closes off. So what it did is it like like fully like hooked under the lid of it and dropped down like Mission Impossible and just stuffed its fucking stupid head in there.
It's terrible. Absolute rodent. Yeah. I would make the Mark Rober course, but every time they fail, they fall on spikes. Yeah. Pungy sticks. Pungy sticks. Make it Vietnam. What is a pungy stick? Pungy sticks.
I said, we should make a Mark Rober Vietnam themed squirrel. Charlie, punji sticks are like basically spikes, but they have like poison on them, right? I think occasionally in Vietnam, they were known to have feces on them because to cause infection or something like that.
I could be wrong about that, but I think that... I think we should make the Mark Rober course, but replace the food at the end with little bombs. Well, I think that what would be great is that you give it a multiple choice question at the very end, and if it gets it wrong, it gets napalmed. Oh, that's good. Just a little bit of napalm, though. Not too much. Or there doesn't even have to be a... You don't want to hurt the squirrel. You don't even have to do a little obstacle course. At the very beginning, you just ask the squirrel if it believes in God.
Which answer do you napalm it for? No. Oh. It says yes, you say good. Boom. That's a classic move called the straight to the point mission. What up, Chucklers? Before we continue on with this episode, we got to talk about today's sponsor, which is our friends at Babbel. Whether it's saving more or spending less, getting organized or losing weight, there's a lot of worthwhile goals to set for the new year. And at the top of your list this year should be learning a new language with Babbel.
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B-A-B-B-E-L dot com using the beautiful promo code chuckle. Thanks so much to Babbel for sponsoring the podcast, and let's get back to the episode. Now, guys, I don't want to glaze over it. What did you two get for Christmas? You know, Black Ops zombies? Mm-hmm. You know the little monkey grenade that you wind up and you throw it and it fucking... I'm choking. I'm choking. I'm choking. Yeah. I got...
A replica of that that has motors and the cymbals work. That's sick. And it makes noise and shit and it lights up. It's the coolest fucking thing. Do you have that with you in your office? It's at my house. I think it would already be going off. That's pretty badass. It is fucking badass. Speaking of your house, Schlatt.
I was in Austin recently. You did? Yeah, you came. Because I was in that very room with you for the first time ever in Austin a very long time. You've returned to streaming. This is true. I am back on Twitch.television because YouTube is such a shit website. I fucking hate it with all my guts. Okay.
How was your, I mean, are we just going to leave it at that? I mean, this is a pretty legendary thing. I came back to streaming. We did a little package unboxing. I did something funny with, you know, people with a bunch of cringe usernames. It was a good time. You know, we peaked at like 150,000 viewers concurrently. What was the amount of viewers that you had? What were you averaging when you left Twitch?
Oh, shit. I mean, this was... The last time I streamed was in January of 2020. Yeah. Which is two years, pretty much. Yeah. Literally. I would average... I mean, I wasn't streaming regularly since probably September or October of 2020, or of 2019, actually, because that's when I started to trail off on Twitch because I was getting bored of Minecraft and all that. I would average...
Three, 4,000 people at my peak. Wow. I had a couple of streams where, I mean, I remember the Minecraft Monday with Technoblade had 10,000 people, which was huge. And my last stream had maybe seven, seven people. Cause I just want to love her host. So the most that you were doing, like your peak is,
was like maybe 10k so you came back never not once in my life had i ever had more than 10 000 people watching that is wild so you came back and you had 15 times the the yeah that is that's pretty god damn wild holy shit dude no it's wild it's wild i told you it would be a terrible time though i know i know it would be up there i i was told
Quite wisely to not have any expectations going in because obviously if it doesn't perform as well, then you feel shitty. So I was like, yeah, I might have like 10,000 people. I thought that was a fair number to expect because it would probably be more. Yeah, yeah. Yeah. I thought it would be more around like I'd average 50, maybe 80 tops, maybe 100K tops.
When Miz was guessing, he said that it would be like 100 to 120. And that's where it would be. Well, he just knows the platform. He's just Mr. Twitch. Yeah, he's just Mr. Twitch boy. He gets it. He fucking gets it. And he was right. And that's about what I averaged for the whole stream, which was pretty fucking nuts. Good shit, man. It was definitely very fun coming out there. Even though most of the time I was there, I was editing.
editing my new video that came my newest video like I brought a fucking drive out there and it was editing incorrect history of pizza in the OTK office which was a fantastic video thank you thank you very much yeah no it was it was but it was cool though seeing that uh that OTK office it's it's it's nice because it's really most of the time it's just like a second house for you it's not a massive office it's like it's not this like
like massive thing. It's, it's pretty cozy, which I, which I think is nice about it. It is cozy. It's small. Um, this room in particular was actually two rooms. I don't know if you can see, there's a little line, uh, below, below the 55 gallon drum of lube magazine of lube used to be 55 gallon now at about three or four. Yeah. It's mostly gone. Um,
That little line of not carpet used to be a wall. And we actually cut it down to make room for like a set where we could film stuff and everything. And so it's cozy in here. You go outside this room, though. It's an office building. And it's very, very obviously just an office building. This is not a content warehouse or anything. And yeah, I basically live here, man. It is fucking... It is so cold there. Cold there? Yeah.
What are
What do you mean? The thermostat was set to like, I know this should be my takeaway. Oh, in the office. I was like, it was hotter in Austin than it was in LA. It was like 60 in LA when I left. And I got to Austin and it was like 70 degrees. I put that shit down to like 60 every single time. Yeah. Me and Ted filmed a video. We've all filmed OTK Reacts now. Yeah. Which will come out soon. Here's why I like Texas, Ted. Because I grew up driving in New York City. Mm-hmm.
When you learn to drive in New York City, you learn to drive. I mean, you can drive anywhere. Yeah, sure. And when you learn to drive anywhere like an asshole. You become an asshole. Yeah. You become an asshole. Sure. And the first thing you stop doing is using that little turn signal. Oh, my God. I'm glad you brought this up, Schlatt. Holy fuck.
Oh, my goodness. I land in Austin, Texas. First things first, Schlatt's late. All right? He's late by like 20 minutes. I don't know if he was jerking off or something. I don't know what he was doing. But he was mega late. Way deep in the lube barrel. He shows up, and I get in his luxurious car, and we're driving out of the Austin airport.
And the first thing I say to you is Ted, you're going to see some stuff on the road that is going to surprise you. And then two times in a, in no three must've been three, right? It was three. It was three, three different times.
Between the airport and the highway that is right next to the airport. So you have to obviously exit the terminal. We haven't even said what this is yet that's happening, though. I know. Is that someone would be on the road with their right turn blinker on, and then they would just be...
going forward or they'd be going like left with the right turn blinker on or like they, it was just, just debauchery on the road that was only based around a miss, like a egregious misuse of the, of the turn signals. No,
No one uses their fucking blinker. And when they do, it's just wrong. They just don't know what it actually means. They've got some kid. They're like, hey, here's something to play with. They just put their hands on the turn signal. I'm not lying when I say it was like a quarter of a mile between the airport terminal where I picked head up and the highway to get away from the fucking airport. Yeah.
Quarter of a mile. Oh, my goodness. We saw three egregious misuses of the blanket. Egregious. And Ted is just like...
what fucking, is this like the purge or some shit? It was wild. People just don't care. It was like, it was like Schlatt said it. It was like, people aren't very good on the roads here. And then like he summoned it, it happened because it didn't really happen any more times, but it was just like a little welcome to Austin kind of like, this is how we do things here. The second it comes out of his mouth, everyone's sitting in their car in the terminals. It's like,
It's their turn signal. Yeah, Ted, people aren't really good on the road here. Just kiss a little. Oh, my God. What the fuck's going on with my car? Yeah, there's just some really strange things about it. It's also weird about the city. I don't know if... Is it always cloudy there?
He doesn't even know. He's checking. No, it's sunny today. The weather there was so interesting. Oh, bro, don't get me started on that. Ted lands and he's like, hmm, pretty cloudy, Shled. Oh, no, it's fucking cloudy. There's clouds in the sky. I'm sorry you don't get that in Los Angeles. Where every day is the same and every person is a fucking shell. I feel full.
I may be a shell, but I'm full of delicious filling. I don't know why I said that. Either way, I mean, Austin... Wait, Charlie, you had something to say about... Let's crack it open. No, keep going, keep going. I'll segue it in afterwards. I had something to say. But yeah, I mean, it's very interesting because with, you know, I grew up in the suburbs and it was like kind of spread out, kind of suburb shithole.
shit so now i'm living in kind of like a city environment where schlatt you know growing up in in the area of like a city zone and now he's in a more suburban thing so it kind of makes sense that switch off thing i don't know where charlie's brain's at i mean he's he doesn't even you know he's he's he hasn't moved anywhere he's just a fucking piece of shit i mean um let's try just lay here and simmer yeah just lay just take it the
Exit from Austin was probably the most interesting scenario that I ran into. And something that I have saved from telling Charlie until I talked about it on this podcast. Well, please. This is big. Let's crack you open. Get to that filling. This was the day after the stream. Like December 18th, perhaps?
Yes, it was the 18th morning. So this is holiday travel season. Schlatt and I both have our flights. He's going to New York. I'm going back to LA. It's in the morning on this Saturday, right after the stream, day after the stream. We both stay up that night because we're both terrible at sleeping and we can't trust ourselves to get up in the morning. So it's 4.30 in the morning. We get in the Uber to go to the airport. We probably should have left earlier.
You know, Schlatt's flight... Yeah. Okay. I didn't give myself enough time in the first place. How tight was it? Yeah. My flight was at... It boarded at 6, and we left at 4.30, so we'd be getting there at 5. Okay, yeah, that's pretty bad. So I'm giving myself an hour, maybe less than an hour. To be fair, though, the Austin airport is small. There's only one terminal, there's one security line, and it's usually very reasonable. Yes. That is a...
A part of this, definitely, for sure. So we're driving to the airport. We get this really cool Uber driver. He was a homie. I liked him a lot. He was pretty down-to-earth, cool guy. And...
We know it's holiday season. It's busy. There is a line going into the arrivals thing with all the cars, but our Uber driver, he's a homie. He knows the drill. He's like, watch this. I'm going to bring you to the spot where people get picked up at the airport, and there's no fucking cars there. We just get dropped off. We're getting right into the fucking airport. We're like, great. We're going up the escalator. Ocean. Ocean of people. Ocean. Ocean of people. Holiday season. Charlie, it is... There are more...
people in the airport than there are square feet i have never seen an airport this packed in my entire life this is the most amount of people i have ever seen in a small space all stressed ever and and you could it was it was floating in the air it was like a jojo bizarre adventure fucking like that like those that the fucking japanese words danger floating in the air and everyone was rushed
And so I was like, fuck, it's 5.20. My flight board's in 40 minutes. This looks like a really, really long line. Schlatt's fine because his flight's at 7.30. He...
I have clear, too. He's got clear. Oh, okay. You're fine. I have the Richie Rich. He submits his biometrics. He gives away his biometric anonymity. I fucking piss in a cup, and then the employee's like, oh, yes, come on over. Oh, Schlatt, good to see you. I recognize that taste anywhere. Okay.
Yeah, so you've got the easy shit. So you were like, dude, God. I had to check my bag, so we parted ways. Sly was tired, too, but it was really funny the way you said goodbye. Because it was like, you saw this line, you looked at me, and then you're like, and you just laugh. It's not like you could do anything, but it was just like. I didn't want to make it sentimental because I knew you were probably going to be left behind at the airport.
And be really pissed. Yeah. So I'm like, fuck. I'm like one of those things where I'm like, all right, I'm going to have to figure this out. I sort of swim through some people, try to like get to just an open area. I find an open area.
in the airport right by one of the entrances and i am just looking out at this ocean of people i am like fuck what am i going to do i don't know what i'm going to do i'm going to miss my flight i'm pretty much inceptive the fact that i'm going to miss my flight um and then i hear some guy who says hey are you are you all right are you doing all right i turn around it's one of those guys that pushes the wheelchairs through the airport um for people for disabled people
And I'm like, oh, you know, this line is so long. I have no idea how I'm going to get through this. And he says to me, you want to get to the front of the security line? And I say, yeah.
I'm also no sleep, by the way. So I'm like, am I delirious? Am I losing my mind right now? Is this God? An airport has to be the golden, like the bastion, the capital of places where rules run everything. Like nobody skips the line at the airport. So I'm like...
Yes. How would you perhaps achieve that? He says to me, if you give me a good tip, I'll get you to the front of the security line. This guy works at the airport. He's got a badge and everything. And I say, Ted, did you sit, did you pretend to,
To be a disabled person. No, no, no, no. I totally thought he was going to say fucking sit strapping, baby. Do not worry. I did not sit in the wheelchair as he wheeled me to the front. But this guy, I was like, yes. And he was like, all right, follow me.
I follow right behind this guy. We go outside of the airport. We walk around to a spot that's closer to the beginning line. We go back in. I'm falling right behind him. I've got my bag. I got my one bag. I'm just like, I don't know what's going on. I'm just going to follow this guy like it's my goddamn life because he's my he's a guardian angel.
He walks me. He's just like, excuse me, excuse me. We are just cutting everyone in the security line. We are cutting everyone in the security line. We get to the point where I show my ID. I'm just like showing the ID. He's like, buddy, buddy with everyone. He's like, I'm just getting this guy through. I show the guy my ID. I go by. We get to the part where you scan, like put your bags through the scan thing. And I'm like, I...
He gets me to the front of that. I put my bag in and stuff and I take my shit out of my pockets. I can barely even keep up. We're going so fast through this line. I almost forget to take my shoes off because he's like just rushing me through. The guy goes through the security line, like through the metal detector with me, like he goes through as well. And we end out on the other side, four minutes, five minutes max. I'm through the security line.
Do you think he was out there doing that all day is my question. I think that that dude knew that the holiday season was going on and he was just looking for people to get tips off of. Oh, that is a bitch, man. When I've told this story to somebody... That has to be his favorite fucking time of the year because he just gets so many tips. Are you kidding me? And...
Some when I told this to some relatives of mine, they thought that there was a chance that he may have known me from like YouTube or something That's why he was helping but I know that he what didn't know me because when I got to the part where I show my ID Somebody like recognized me and they were like you Ted Nevison and I was like so delirious I felt bad for this for this person because I kind of gave him like a half-assed sort of interaction where I was like Oh, hey, they're like, can I get a photo? I was like sure
but I'm at the same time, my heart is pounding. I have no idea what's going on. And this person's getting me through the line. So if that person listens to the podcast right now, I was going through a crazy shit right now. They watched me like get ushers through the line. They just got a picture of them with Ted, eyes bloodshot, like drooling. Yeah.
Ted, you got – you texted me and he's like, hey, man, I'm through. And I was still on the fucking clear line. I was still on line to get to the security on the line that's supposed to skip everybody. They were still going on the piss. They haven't even finished. They were savoring it. It's a little cloudy today. Are you sure?
When that girl had recognized me, the guy turned around and he said, he's like, wait, are you famous? Like this dude's like mid-20s or something like that. And I'm like, oh, I'm like, it's still delirious. I'm like, YouTube channel, it's whatever. We keep going. And so we get to the other side of the line in like –
fucking five minutes max and i like we sneak over to this like kind of area secluded and i'm like getting this guy's venmo i paid him a hundred bucks because he he fucking made it so i i made my flight because of this guy i'm talking to this guy later he tells me austin airport is a a airport that's rated for uh you know 250 000 people like a city of 250 000 people or something like that something along the lines of that
And, you know, Austin has like this many million people. And so whenever the holidays come in, it's like ridiculous. It's ridiculous in Austin. And they have plans to like add more terminals and stuff. But that shit isn't going to be coming until like 2040, which is like crazy. And I asked him how long that line would have been for me. And he told me I would have been in that line for three hours.
I would have been two hours late to my flight and I was early at the gate to that dude. I was early at the gate. A guardian angel. Probably you. By far. Strange airport worker. The craziest thing that I cannot think of like the most like a luckier or crazier scenario to happen. Especially just because like of all places, you just don't think that you can
the line at the airport of all places. That has to be like the place where the rules are the most strict. People are fucking putting their fingers up your asses because you had a pen in your pocket. Like there is no way to get like past that shit. And it, I, I felt like I was in a different world entirely. Like I was texting Schlatt. I was like, dude, this is fucking crazy. Ted just figured out the power of, of,
Of bribery, pretty much. I basically engaged in airport security line fraud. Put it in the history books. Actually, don't put that in history books. This is all a fictitious scenario. This is a fictitious story that is actually... And the whole...
He actually missed the flight, guys. Yeah, I actually missed the flight. He went to go get a bagel after because he was hungry and missed it. Yeah, which is the complete opposite of the time. This is basically the complete opposite of the time that I actually got to a gate early one time when I was coming out to LA. Remember this? And I slept at the gate.
And I missed the flight. Jesus Christ, that sucks. Yeah, that was when I was at JFK and I was in between going from Ithaca to JFK to LA and I slept at the gate at JFK.
Oh, my God. Fuck, man. That sucks. That's why I don't do layovers. That was my grand story from the break that I was very excited to talk about on the podcast because that was just... Oh, my God. That was insane. I was... Ted was texting me. Ted was texting me. I was going through security. He was already at the fucking gate. Dude. And he was like, dude, money talks, bro. I'm just figuring this out now. Yeah. I just couldn't imagine. Ted, what I actually thought happened is you literally like...
got down in this guy's wheelchair. He wheeled you to the front like, guys, watch out!
Wait, so you... Get up, don't touch his legs! Get out of the way! And then he dropped you at the gate. You showed the passport and you just... You just fucking stood up. I thought that's genuinely what happened. No, no, but... Oh my God, can you imagine like... Did the gate person need any help? No. Oh my God, can you imagine like some random bystander at the airport? They just like... They see the security line and I walk up to some guy and I'm like...
I whisper in his ear and he's like, come here, come here. He sits me down in the thing and he just starts rushing me through the line. I'm like, oh my God. You walk in front of the wheelchair, just lean down to your legs. Oh, yeah. After the story, you're in the line, you're in the line. You're like, oh man, my leg, dude, the,
And it's one of those things where I would not suggest to our audience to go around talking to those people who push the people in the wheelchair and try to bribe them to get you through the line. Dude, someone absolutely was in the airport listening to the show, paused it, and just walked up to someone. Just to confirm the story and how it went down and see if they could repeat it exactly. There are people now. This is something that absolutely you cannot, unless you're like, fuck,
like a high profile fucking A-list celebrity. This is something that needs to, it can only happen to you. And there's not many things that you can, that are, that you can only, that can only just happen to you. That can fall to your, like in your life like that, that and cancer. That's true. Thanks for bringing that up. I, I'm sorry.
Yeah, me too. I'm also pissed. I'm fucking pissed. Would you like to know why I'm upset? Oh, yeah. Yeah, I would. Have we reached the point in the podcast where it's time for me to get angry? Well, what was that thing you wanted to say earlier, Charlie? Do you still have that? Dude, he's schloking out. I don't know if I can stop him now. He's...
Oh man, oh man, his upper lip, his lower lip. Okay. His mustache is moving in the aggression maneuver. Just let it rip, man. Just let it rip. Wait, hold on. Let me just pull out my Schlatt aggression maneuver booklet here.
This is 31C. There's one we run away from and there's one we play dead for. This is 31C. Which one is this? This is 31C looking like Charlie. The advising for this scenario is to... He's sniffing. Are you seeing him? He's sniffing the mustache. Make sure that's... I'm seeing that. I'm seeing that. Let me... Okay. That's a modifier. That's a modifier. That means that we just need to let him... We're just going to have to let him complain. I am suing the state of Texas.
Ted, I'm going to run away. No, no, no, Charlie. You have to let him complain. He's gone. There are no state taxes in Texas. So how do they make their money back on you, Ted? How do they make their money back on you? How do they make... How? Property tax and fucking highway tolls. Oh. Tolls. When you pass the fucking highway, when you pass the people who don't use their goddamn blinkers...
You go through a little camera. It takes a little photo of your fucking driver's license and your license plate, and it bills you in the mail. Now, here's what happened. I moved in the middle of last year, and I did not update my car information. So every time I went through the toll, it sent a bill to my old address, and I didn't pay it.
So for half a year, I have been evading tolls in the state of Texas, and they sent me a bill today for $10,000. How did they figure out your address? What were you thinking every time you drove through it and it went? Later. Later. So you, how did you get this bill? That's weird.
Well, I didn't get the bill. I went online because I was curious. I was like, it's been half a year. What do I owe? Because I don't use the highways that much. I don't use the highways that much. Maybe 30 times have I been on the highway since I moved. Go on the site. $10,000 is owed. And I went, hmm? I went that little The Rock thing. Eyebrow raises. Or maybe the Tim Allen thing.
To be fair, it was around $8,000 when I checked. And then I said, that is too much. I will forget about this. And I waited another month. So how long ago did you know it was $8,000? Early December. Schlatt. Early December, I knew it was $8,000. We can't keep defending you on these, man. I checked this morning. It is $10,000 I am owed according to the state of Texas law.
Toll website. You go on the toll website, you check what the fucking license plate is on. How many individual tickets is it? How did you gain $2,000 in tolls in a month? That's the thing. That's the thing. This is why I'm suing the state of Texas. You're suing the state of Texas. Shall I be Texas? I give him a call and I go, hey, I've been through the toll maybe twice.
in like a month why why right sure i was like yeah i was like yeah yeah it'll there'll be there'll be some fucking late fees right you go through the toll you don't pay it oh no every month it goes up by a little percentage right hey i was trying to forget about your bill but i saw it got a little bigger but here's the thing here's the thing how do i get ten thousand dollars worth of tolls it tolls 25 fucking cents i called it i call the people up i wait on the phone for an hour
I'm late to the podcast because of this. You guys gave me a call at 1230 today and you're like, Shlatter, are you alive? And I'm like, not now. I'm on the phone with Texas. Here's what happened. John Texas. John Texas. John Texas tells me on the phone. Actually, her name is Christina. Christina Texas. Christina Texas. Alexis Texas tells me that I am... She basically tells me that I've been fucked because I really owe...
$19.84. She says, you are owed 1984. And I go, hmm? 1984? The Democrats are coming. 1984? 1984. Basically what happened is my car was on the...
the leasing company's TX tag account. So basically when I go on and type in my little license plate, it shows me the combined bill of like thousands and thousands of cars. Every single fucking car they lease out. It shows you the total of all of them on the highway system. Oh,
And she's like, yeah, we get calls all the time of people who are like, why do I owe $10,000 in tolls to the state of Texas? I only owe 20 bucks. Oh my God.
Yeah, yeah. This is the kind of infrastructure we got in the state of Texas. We snow half an inch, people die, the city shuts down, and they don't even have the toll system set up. People can't use their blinkers. Every car has a $10,000 bill on the website. You've got 10 people going through one door at the airport? Yeah. Dude. There's pandemonium over here. It's cowboy mode. Schlatt, I got to say, every time I hear about something new from the state of Texas, it seems like...
You're giving me more reasons not to move there. Well, you're not going to come here anyways. I know. And it was kind of cloudy was the real thing. I mean, that was a big... I did... It was funny. I did like sort of...
I knew what I was doing when I got in that car. You knew what the fuck he was doing. And it was cloudy, and I was like, well, it looks a little cloudy. Once you didn't see any other blinker mishaps, you immediately were like, hmm, clouds. It's a little flat here. I don't know if I'm a big fan of how flat it is.
There's not much of a mountainscape for me to look at. There's 10% more humidity in the air than in Los Angeles. I prefer when there's a mountain and there's words on it. I prefer a word mountain that has a name of the town on it. Otherwise, I don't know where I am. And that's what I like about LA is that it reminds me. I look out that window right there and I see Hollywood. I can see it right now.
You can? Yeah, I can see it right now. I can see the Hollywood sign. That's fucking cool, man. Yeah, it's cool, which is why I live in the city of dreams. LA is the only place Ted can live without getting really confused. Yeah. This is true. Ted is in Los Angeles. Like, Ted just, he is Los Angeles. Even when he never was living there. When I met Ted for the first time and he was living in New York, I was like, this dude's going to LA.
Yeah. If you kill Ted, Los Angeles would sink back into the earth. Hollow Earth. It's true. That's true. I mean, I would say that if I wasn't in LA, where do you think I'd be, Shalette? That's the question. New York. Okay. Damn. You got me. You got me nailed down. If it wasn't LA, I would be in New York City. That's true. Damn. Fuck. But, you know, hey, there's one thing Texas has got that...
Los Angeles, New York, none of these funds can do. Is it guns? No, no, no. Torchy's Tacos. It is a... Ted, it is Torchy's Tacos. Sorry, but say what you were going to say. We can talk about Torchy's in a second. No, I was going to say we have a functioning highway system that works well.
Whenever it snows, whenever you pass through the cameras. I'd argue that a highway system is only as good as the drivers on it. And I would make that argument against the people in California, too, because I have in California is interesting because whenever me and my girlfriend drive to see her family in Orange County, every single time, it's just an hour drive.
Every single time there is always a vicious accident on the highway that is always like a car is flipped or like there are two fire engines in the middle of the highway and people are like having to navigate around it and stuff. Like there are for some reason something about California that
That's New York City, too. But here's the thing. In the time that I've lived, I've been driving for almost eight or nine years or something at this point. I have never had to...
see a highway get shut down because of an accident to the point where the traffic had to turn around and exit at the closest exit behind us. And that's happened to me twice in the time that I lived in LA. And that is, so something's wrong with like the highways in terms of like how closed off they are, I think in LA where you can't move anyone off because there's like fucking grassy berms in Massachusetts where you can just fucking drive
bro shit off of I don't know I don't know even don't he's made of no no sorry to get I haven't said anything in like 10 minutes but he said grassy berm and for some reason I was like berm? oh a narrow ledger shelf as along the top or bottom of a slope where'd you even learn that? I don't know no one's ever said that this this only generated once you said it's dude I don't know it's
I just happen to know. When would it like, watch out. We got a burn coming up. I don't even know if this is a real word now. No, anyone that would know anyone in the country that would be around a berm would not fucking know what a berm is. That's the problem. I don't know why I know that word, but I was right.
There's only one image of a berm. There's like one picture of what a berm is. One result. There's only ever been one. I invented the word. I made it happen before the podcast. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Well, hey, Ted, when the traffic clears up in Los Angeles, we know you're going to be driving down to Austin with all your belongings, with all your friends. You're going to take everything down to Austin. Charlie, you too.
Oh. Soon enough. Oh, yeah. You'll be. Schlatt, if you weren't living in Austin, what would the other choice be? It would be LA. I wouldn't be happy. But, I mean, in terms of collaboration in this job, no one is anywhere else. Don't do that. Don't. You look gross. You look gross right now. Your mouth folds in such a strange way. I was doing an over the top one.
The first one was a true pog. The next one was more like a, let's see how close I can get it to the emote. Yeah, it would be in LA, probably not in the middle of the city where you could see the sign. Oh, dude, I think that you would... Next time you're around here, I'm going to show you the valley because I feel like you'd like it.
I feel like I could do some convincing. Guys, we're talking about change. We're talking about all these places. We're talking about where we would be, who we could be, what we should be. But what will we be in 2022? I want to hear everyone's New Year's resolutions here. Yeah. Ted is snapping. Because that segue, Charlie, was poetry. Did you like that?
Oh, yeah. What are you going to do in the new year? I'm going to evade more bills. See how many you can evade. I stopped paying them. Here's the thing. You always see that sign on the highway that says toll violators will be prosecuted. By who? I didn't get prosecuted. By who? Who's coming? Who's coming? I'm armed. What are you going to do? Are you going to take me away? I mean, usually, yeah. Wait. Are you going to take me? Are you going to take me? Wait a minute.
Where am I going? What, are you going to drive to my house on the roads? Doubt it. You're going to use a turn signal? Unlikely. No, no. Not so sure. So that's what you're saying, Shalat. You're locking that in. So you want someone to take you. That's what you want. Violate mortals. Lock it in. Be taken by men. And we're locking that in. Violate mortals. Get violated. You got to say lock it in, Shalat, if you want to say. Lock it in. Okay, we're locking that in. All right.
Irreversible, man. Okay. I mean, I've said this before earlier in this podcast. I mean, I'm just looking for speed this year. I'm looking to see how fast I can get. You don't have the toll problem either because they just... I don't. Different colored lines. Yeah. Well, I mean, in California, they just take like another 15% off the top of everything you make. Well, I mean, I also don't need to worry about tolls because...
Every time I still haven't changed my car to, it's still registered to Massachusetts. So whenever I go through a toll, it just gets sent to my parents' house and I never hear about it. So I think that they're paying it. I think we all have this exact same problem. I need to check if I have $10,000 of unpaid tolls after this. Yeah. But yeah, no, speed is what I'm looking for. Being as fast as possible and...
Yeah, no, lock it in. Okay, that's locked in. We got speed, we got getting taken, hitting us up, rounding us off. I'm going to start with not mine, necessarily, but Grace's, a very, very wonderful partner and
And girlfriend. And as you mentioned earlier, you said, you know, Austin is kind of a cloudier place, right? And I've now learned that that would be good for her because her new year's resolution is to deal with a problem that I didn't know she has had for a very, very long time. And it's probably the most unique and problematic new year's resolution I've ever heard because her new year's resolution is
is to stop looking directly into the sun so much. Not even to cut it out entirely, just to try and peter it off a little. And she approached me about this like- Like she's addicted to it? She can't stop doing it. Yeah, and now I'm like, I'm scared because every time I look outside and it like peeps through the clouds, I'm looking over and she's like looking up at it. So now you're noticing it now? Dude-
No, yeah, because this came up on Christmas and she was like, you know, the idea is resolution is to stop looking at the sun. And I was like, oh, that's cool. You know, like what? What are you going to do to do that? Or like, do you like is this really a fucking problem? You didn't even question it when she brought it up originally. You weren't like, what? No, I was like, I was like, what? A little at first. But then I was like, can't you just stop looking at the sun? And she was like, well, it's not New Year's yet.
And I was like, is this such a fucking pro- you're trying to get in like one last big long look at the flaming- and she's like, dude, it's like a bright flaming orb in the sky, what am I supposed to ignore it? I don't know.
It's so true. That's okay. Yeah. That's, I mean, the first thing that came to my mind was, wow, that is exactly the same thing that the Machinima Respawn crew did in Horror Alley every time they recorded there.
They'd look at the sun. Yeah. They'd see who could not, who could look at it the longest. So what was she? My second thought, my second thought is what? That's weird. That's weird. Yeah, it is. But now, but now I know if I ever, if I ever wanted to surprise her, I would just throw something directly at her because she has a fucking hole burned into clearly the center of her vision.
I would be very worried about her. She should get her eyes checked. Yeah, right? She probably gets her eyes checked. She has glasses. And I wonder fucking why. Because she's going out. She's trying to get thicker and thicker glasses so it magnifies the fucking sun into it.
I need more power. I want it to just fully refract into my eyes. It's like when you hold a magnifying glass up to an ant and it just starts fucking cooking it. The doctor's like, do you want transition lenses? No! No, God! I wouldn't be able to do it, Doc. What was she doing during the eclipse? She must have been looking at the sun all day during that.
Dude, I don't know. Maybe she looked up. She was like, ah, sun's blocked. She just walks away. It's only fun when it's bright. It's all covered up. Oh my God. Are you? Yeah, I know. It's not even, and it's not even to stop looking at the sun. It's to stop looking at the sun comma so much. That's I think the part that really gets me. Let me. Is that she's not even going cold turkey. I'd look at this fucking strand. It's funny because it's like, that is like, I, it's just something that you're just,
baseline like not supposed to do no like no and she tweeted about it she fucking tweeted about it and she was like charlie why is my tweet about looking at the sun bombing i'm like usually people tweet something relatable grace you're tweeting about your new year's your single thing you want to improve about yourself is to stop looking at the sun that's like that's like no one else has this no one's retweeting and of course they're not that's like your new year's no one feels
That's like your New Year's resolution to be to stop trying to breathe underwater or something Like this year I'm gonna stop trying to eat plastic so much what am I gonna stop entirely? You think you know someone after five years
I'm hoping she is able to pull through on it. Oh my god. I'm hoping she stops looking at the sun so much, Charlie. I'm rooting for her. Me too. Locking it in. She locked that one in. Locking it in. I wonder why she was interested in me and now I know she doesn't even see me for me. She just sees me as a burning hole in her iris whenever she looks at me.
Mine is to be even more slippery. Locking it in. Even stronger, even more slippery. Locking it in. And more beige. Let us know in the comments of this podcast or on a review on a podcast website with a five-star rating.
Because you can do five star on Spotify now. I'm just finding that out recently. Really? Yeah. Well, you better go check that. See if that's true. Your New Year's resolution is and lock it in. Charlie, you're slimy. Slipperier. Stronger.
Slippier and stronger. Slippier and stronger. Still not looking at the sun like I wasn't before. Like I consistently haven't been. Because it wasn't a problem ever. Schlantz is going to be bills. Soul violator. He's going to be avoiding bills. And I'm going to get passed. And still not prosecuted for it. Thanks so much for joining us on this episode of the podcast, guys. I hope you're glad we're back. I hope we're back. Amen. And we'll listen. Bye.
