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Minx's Darkest Secret

2021/4/24
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Minx reveals her deepest, darkest secret, which involves her popularity diminishing and personal attacks from the hosts.

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Hey, everybody, and welcome back to the Chuckle Sandwich Podcast. My name is Schlatt, and I'm joined by my favorite two co-hosts on the planet. Hey, guys, it's me, Charlie Slimesicle. What's poppin'? It's Ted Nivison. And oh my God, guys, I am so excited we have the best guest on the planet. Her name- What? Who? Who?

I'm gonna tell you all about her. She's hold on. Let me look through my look through my script here She is one of the most popular women streamers on Twitch. Okay, she's talented She's very good attractive nice. Uh, I like that and she's here right now What's your name?

Hi, everybody. Hi. So glad to be here during Women's Month. Not Women's Month. As the first female. Happy Women's Month, everyone. Thank you. Thank you so much to me and the other women. Not Women's Month. I reiterate, not Women's Month. Hey, Schlatt, every month is Women's Month. Editor, keep that in. Keep that in. That's just a lie. That's just a lie. But okay. Yeah. Welcome, Minx, to the Chuckle Sandwich Podcast. Thank you. Thank you for having me here. I'm so happy we're here because, you know, that whole intro I gave you was a complete lie.

Not only is your popularity diminishing, causing you to lower on the list of popular female streamers every month. Holy shit. But you're also fucking ugly. You've got two ugly cats. Your microphone is bigger than your head somehow. Let me just take one second on the head size. Maybe wait for that to come up. Maybe just wait on that. No, I'm not done. I'm not done. I'm not done. And you know what? I put so much.

much effort into this fucking podcast and all my videos that i upload once a month and all you do every single day minx is sit in front of a camera and pretend to get upset pretend to get upset you don't even care man you don't you don't know what it's like you don't know what it's like to be to be me to be a male content creator is this flat's meninist arc or something what's going on here

He just wants to fuck me, dude. That's not true! It's sexual fucking energy. That's not true! Minx, let it be known. At the beginning of this- We have to say it. We're going to say this right now, okay? We wanted to talk about what it's- We wanted to ask, like, Minx, what's it like to be a woman in gaming, to be a woman on Twitch? Before we started the podcast, Minx said- You said in gaming?

see my my hours they're spending just chatting you fool you got the wrong girl if you wanted someone to talk about gaming her subs for money you're gaming your viewers for money that's what we meant that's what we mean that's what we like that but let it be known well she's not doing any hot tub streams yet i ordered one

You ordered a whole hot tub? No, it was a kid's puddle pool. Yeah, that's an interesting topic. Just get a little bubbler in there. Because that's sort of the meta right now, Minx. And I feel like you're sort of, you could probably speak on this given how much you stream on Twitch. The three of us, we don't really stream that much right now. But what's going on? All right, what's going on on Twitch right now, dude? Look, you know what? I hear it's soggy. I hear it's soggy over there. Yeah.

That's nasty. You're nasty. That's disgusting. That's disgusting. But it is. It is. Look, look, it's, it's, it's a hard, I don't know. I like it because, uh, Amaranth. You stop, you stop. Just don't say the word soggy. Anything else? Soggy. No moist. Okay. So moist. No, no. Ted, please tell them to stop.

Minx, you know that if you make like a kissy face, you can smell your mustache? No! Don't! Editor, cut that out! Cut that out! Cut that out! Cut that out! He said that before on the podcast.

I apologize for my two colleagues, Minx, thus far. He's still snitching, Ted. We are so lucky to have you on the Chuckle Sandwich podcast. You know, I mean, Schlatt sort of botched the intro there. But, I mean, Minx, she's a popular Twitch streamer. She streams, as she said, mainly just chatting. But she also does some gaming, too. She's done Minecraft in the past. She dates Minecrafters. Oh, gosh.

In her past as well. But yeah, I mean, Minx, what brought you into the world of Twitch streaming? Let us know. Let the world know. All right. This is how I came to become a Twitch streamer.

There was a girl called Cherry Orr S. Orr. She had like 100k subs. She played Call of Duty. I saw her seven years ago. I thought she was very funny. I followed her. Then I saw she was this Twitch streamer, so I subbed to her. And then her and her friend grew... You're making the story sound like it's such a labor. Like you're...

We brought you on the podcast to talk, Minx. This is the third show and tell this week, just going through the motions. It's just like, it's not an exciting story. It's cute. It's cute. Don't get me wrong. I've got a better story. I've got a better story. Hang on, hang on, hang on. No. I don't want to hear his story.

No, no, no before you let schlatt sniff his mustache again. How about this because I don't want to just let this fall by the wayside Okay, how what did you start with? What did you start doing? Because when I looked at your channel I saw that the first available video was Lucio ball strats and immediately I was I was intrigued. I was intrigued by that

How did it all start? What did you start making? I want to know. Put it all out on the table. No, but Justin Minx wasn't my first channel. This is so embarrassing. A lot of people know this, but I started as Panda online. And then I got called a furry. Yeah. No, no, it was. I'm not. It was. She's obviously uncomfortable. You don't have to press the question. With his head. Panda growls with his head.

Kanda growls. Yeah. All my videos are private. You know, I just meant it as a question. I feel like I'm now like strangling the answer out of you. No, I started with Dead by Daylight on that other channel. Oh, really? And then I moved to Just a Minx and I started with Overwatch. And then I realized gaming as a girl doesn't work out.

So you got to go to just chatting. Was it funny moments or was it like legitimate like gaming strategy? No, it was not. It was just me playing the fucking game. It wasn't even good. Like it wasn't interesting. I don't know why. How dare you, Charlie, for even asking. Actually, no. I feel so bad. I'm with Mix on this, Charlie. I feel so bad right now on this show. That was a rough question to ask, dude. Oh my God. I'm sorry. Wait, wait, wait. You guys were right. You know PewDiePie's Amnesia Day?

Stefano, Mr. Chair. Of course. I have YouTube videos of me playing the exact amnesia maps he would play. Every single one, I would just copy. I consider myself the Mr. Chair. But I was 12 or 13 at the time. You carried Stefano around? No, I didn't, but I would give names. Try to be cool like him. I'd be like, door, why are you blocking me? It was...

Hey, I started. It's all right. No shame. I think the first thing I uploaded, and it's funny because it didn't actually upload because there was a 15-minute limit, was Slender Episode 1, and I did totally the exact same thing, baby. Oh, right. YouTube used to have a limit on how long the videos could be. 15 minutes before you got verified.

And now it's if it's not over 15 minutes long, it gets no views at all. Yeah, there you go. Well, Minx, sorry we had to waterboard that answer out of you. Yeah, it's okay. I have a question that's a little more, you know, up your alley, I think. Oh, jeez. Is it about pegging? Is there a third channel we should know about? No, it's not about pegging.

Okay, then I'm not going to be interested. You died in a car crash. It's time to wake up, Minx. No, no, no. I'm being serious. Minx died in a car crash. I did die. Then who's on the show? Then who's on the show right now? No, I got vibed, okay? Like in a video game.

game they brought it back you actually like your heart stopped yeah but it was only for like a minute or two i but listen christians tune out here right now because i thought i was asleep during that time i woke up to people saying like my mom sobbing and my dad like oh my god no my no no my dad sobbing my mom throwing up but i thought i was asleep so uh that kind

of took me out of christianity i believed in heaven i was you know i'm a catholic girl i grew up in all girls catholic school went to i sung in choir every sunday practiced in the church every friday and then i died and everything seemed to be a lie because it just felt like i was asleep okay so wait let me get this straight so you've actually experienced what it is like to die yeah

And what you're telling our audience right now, this is an exclusive interview now with a dead then not dead person. It's just like falling asleep. So none of us should be afraid of death. I like that you're like, eh.

I like that you're like, "I don't like to talk about my first channel because it was called Panda and people call me a furry. Also, there's no God. I was there." Easy peasy to talk about the time that I literally died. That's fucking insane. Well, what the fuck happened? What happened? Minks don't get into heaven. I mean, lately, I kind of believe that. How did you die? Yeah, how did you die, Minks?

Oh, so it was actually during my first ever seizure. Shout out epilepsy. Yeah, you know, my mom, my dad didn't know what it was and they were too dumb to not wait for the ambulance. Mom and dad, if you're watching this, I do love you and I would do the same in your position. So instead of waiting for the ambulance that they called as I'm flopping around like a fish,

um like oh god i don't even want to see the angles from there dad like put me in the back of the car and it's like december christmas time he's driving down the road rushing speeding over the limit and he turns those eyes boo car flips into the railing shout out to that really flipped yeah like oh i think it was twice god holy shit okay so it was bad because you were having

What do you call it? An epileptic episode? Is that what it would be called? Yeah, yeah. A fit or a seizure, whichever one. And then it then got worse because then you were in a snowy car crash on the way to the hospital? Yeah, but look, bless up dad, he turned the corner and...

I fell out of the, you know, flopped around in the back. Bless up, Dad. You took me out drifting around in the corner. No, I didn't fall out of the car. You fell out of the car. No, no, no, no. You know, the back seats. I was falling. So I fell down between the seats, like at the bottom. So he was freaking out, tried to reach back up. So like try and prop me up because, you know, homies like foaming at the mountain, whatever. So as he was turning the corner, he like didn't turn properly and the car flipped and

And, but listen, this is the best part of the story. My favorite local restaurant in the town that we lived, the girl that I know from the restaurant was driving home in a taxi. Like it was late. It was 2 a.m. So like technically she saved my life. My mom and dad were so grateful for her because like she saw the car crash and was like, oh, let's take her to the hospital. And that was by the time, you know, homie went beep, dead.

Heart stopped. And the hospital was only like a minute away. So did you die from the seizure or did you die from the crash? I think it was like a double negative kind of situation. That's the fun thing. We'll never know. They never even knew what my epilepsy was. They both helped. They said it's...

Yeah, they work together to, you know, just stop me. They, like, work together. So you were dead after the car crash, and they drove you the rest of the way to the hospital, and they brought you back to life? Yeah, I still don't know, because they didn't...

My mom refuses to talk about the story properly with me because it's a trigger for her. I'm like, okay, you're not the one that died, mom, but get over it. Are you all right talking about this stuff? Is it something you're pretty open about? I don't remember shit. I remember fucking seizing out and then just not in and then waking up in the hospital and not feeling... I thought I was paralyzed, low-key. I couldn't move. Below my neck would not move for, I think, two hours. So I don't want epilepsy. Don't worry. Don't get paralyzed.

So another question about that makes why, uh, why did they bring you back to life? Oh, what? Um, so, so given, given all this, um, what, what easily is the hardest, most traumatic thing we've had on the podcast so far. Um,

What part of the sandwich do you think you are? I can't believe you just said that. I can't believe you just called into question the hospital people. Like, they would recognize. They were like, oh, this one? Yeah, no, no, cut it off. Cut it off. They pull the doctors out of the room. They lock the door, throw away the key. Just written in Sharpie on her body, just like, do not resuscitate. You put the body bag over me. Not worth it.

Your parents say she wanted to be a streamer when she grows up. They zip up the body bag. Oh my god. They probably would have let me go in that case. They thought I had goals back then. Oh shit. Oh my goodness. Oh fuck. Okay. Well, she's alive now. And she's on the Chuckle Sandwich podcast. On the podcast. And this does, it's a perfect segue. You know, given that you've experienced death, what part of the sandwich are you? Mayonnaise. Mayonnaise.

Fuck you. No, you're not. No, you're not. I'm the mayonnaise. This might be a problem. We already established that Ted is the butt ends of the bread and he's enclosing us. I'm the meat. He's enclosing us. Charlie is the meat. He's the schmeat. And I'm the mayo. I'm the soppy. This sandwich is going to get a whole lot squelchy. I'm the moist. I make it wet.

I make it, I increase the mouthfeel. Yeah, this is more like a chowder at this point, guys, with this much mayo. That's disgusting. There should be lettuce. There should be mayo. Minx, only one of us can be the mayo and it's going to be me. Well, Minx, someone's got to make the damn sacrifice. Someone's got to be the lettuce. Fine, fine. I'll be the pineapple. How about this? Oh! How did you get there? What the fuck? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Pieces of ring. Is it like a ring or is it like pieces? I'm kind of offended that you even thought that was an option, Minx.

- Minks, riddle me this. - The sandwich is freeform, it's open-ended, but pineapple is, yeah, it's a little fucked. - I've got a pretty good suggestion for something you could put on the sandwich, Minks, that you could be. Are you ready to hear it? - Come. - Minks! Minks! - I think that you could potentially be maybe a pickle. - They didn't bring you back so you could put cum on the chuckle sandwich, Minks!

I would say that you could be a pickle minx because, I mean, whenever I've watched your streams, it sort of looks like you've just emerged out of a brine. Dude, what the hell is going on? What is the energy on this podcast today? Holy shit, guys. Like the nasty vinegar juice.

I like that. I'm surprised you didn't fight to be the mayo, given how fucking pale and discolored your face is. Well, look, okay, I'll be the garlic sauce. Garlic sauce mayo. Garlic mayo. Garlic mayo. I like that. Garlic mayo's good. It's still mayo, but it's like spicier than boring normal mayo. Well, at that point, we might as well just scratch the mayo, right? If we already have garlic mayo, we've got that. I mean, we don't really need mayo anymore. Actually, incorrect. You can have like half and half.

I'll give you this. I'll give you this. I mean, if you've got the mayo and then you've got some sort of garlic, mix them together, you've got a pretty nice garlic aioli right there. That is true. Did you say gaoli? Aioli. Oh. Do you know what an aioli is? No. No.

You ever been to like one of those sandwich shops where it's like too nice or it's like... It's like the middle part of the nipple. I feel like they're putting aioli on everything these days. Listen, they don't do food well in Ireland. It's called garlic sauce here. They forgot how to grow potatoes at once, Ted. I mean, this is not... Let's not pretend like Ireland knows what they're doing. No, garlic sauce is... Saying that they forgot how to grow potatoes is the same thing as like saying during COVID people forgot how to live.

What are you talking about? It was a famine that got rid of the potatoes. Yeah, it was the famine that got rid of the potatoes. Just grow more.

It was... They can't. It's fucking stupid. Yeah, we can. Sorry, we're getting off topic. You're right. Actually, Minx, how does the potato famine personally affected your life? Oh, dude, this is so bad. Well, luckily for me, I wasn't born back then. I, low-key, like, would have killed myself because I live off potatoes. Oh, okay. I mean, it wouldn't have been me killing myself. It would have been the famine that took me out. But, yeah, no. Do you have, like...

Like, relatives way back to when that was happening, though? Like, is your... Or, like, you are, like... She didn't come from nowhere. Okay. Yeah, no, they probably went through that. But, like... Yeah.

I'm not going to cry over my ancestors. They fought through it. They didn't live. I did. I'm fine. Yeah, no, the Irish population is still not fully recovered from the Irish potato jam. Dude, I'm just scared to even make Irish jokes. I got cancelled for a Northern Irish joke the other day, even though like... Okay, isn't there... Isn't there... Isn't there... Yeah, there's some shit between like Northern Ireland. I just said that they were fake Irish. I don't know.

There was a whole thread about that. They are though. They signed you with the English. Well, yeah, I could see how that could cause a problem. Getting into Brexit on the Chuckle Sandwich podcast. Yeah, what do you think about Brexit, Minx? I hate Brexit. It makes my Amazon deliveries take like a week. And also they won't let me fly to see Nicky and Rihanna. Fuck Brexit. And Scotland wants to leave. Scotland doesn't want to be a part of it. Scotland wants to leave the UK. Shout out Scotland, the homies.

We love Scotland. We love Scotland. Scotland. You're welcome to the sandwich anytime. That whole area is having some issues with the whole Brexit shit and stuff. I wouldn't want to live in... I wouldn't want to live over there, Minx. Right? Like, at a certain point, you think, okay, well, let's move away from that shithole, right?

And that's why, luckily for me, I'm in the middle of my visa process. Yeah, you're coming over here. Makes this big move. Makes this big move. That'll be fun. So why?

I've just decided that being in Ireland on the time zones don't work and I I think I'm gonna force myself into an org because like everyone I keep joking about it because I hear people get money from it and I'm like yeah but everyone's like no you can't get in you curse too much so I'm just gonna headbutt herself prove them wrong and be like actually I moved to America because

all the orgs are there's not over here in eu you know get my visa go there get an org fight my way in and boom boom yeah and you were saying you were saying on the before the podcast before we started recording the podcast that you stay up until like six in the morning to like stay is that because of like that's when viewers are able to watch you like do you have a lot of american audience and stuff

Yeah, I have a lot of American audience, but like, early streams are still good too, but I know it's like, it's just way more active, like, at nighttime when I'm streaming. Where if I move to, like, I remember when I got trapped, you know, in California last year when COVID started from, what was it, March to...

May no March to June that's when like my viewers started spiking that's when like the whole blow up happened like I just after changing my stream schedule also because I was a bit of a whore and lover host too but you know I did what it is but yeah I just want to go back to America now because of it so time zone is a big part of it then huh

Yeah, Time Zone is a big part, but also no one lives here. Yeah, I was just going to ask how many of the people that you typically make content with are in America versus in Ireland or even in the EU in general? I mean, that's what I was saying. The reason I got into streaming before Slatt rudely interrupted me was Emily, an Irish streamer. She played Dead by Daylight and she was so nice. She was like, oh, play with us. You're funny.

And then, like, she's the person I started with. And then the only other person I know here properly is, like, Daniel, RT Game Crowd. But every time we try to meet up, Ireland's in, like, a strict lockdown where you can't leave your house. You can't leave over five kilometers outside your house. So we haven't been able to meet up the past month unless, you know, we try and be...

How do they keep track of that? You can't move more than five kilometers. They put a tracker on you. They microchip you. If you have an address on your license or something, I imagine. Yeah, they've guardi everywhere. They'll be hiding. And if you're leaving, it's usually at the edge of the town areas. If you're leaving, they'll be like, who just left? Was it the guardi? They're here. Oh, wow. They've infiltrated. That's crazy. That's crazy.

I mean, but it's like, it's like, it's not even working that much. Like back in December, it was so low. And then they opened up everything again for like, I don't know, a week. And we went from 100 cases up to like 2000 cases so quick. Let it be known that Texas solved COVID. Okay. We opened the state. We got rid of the mask mandate. And then, and then we just stopped getting it.

You know what? I was aiming to go to Texas, and then I hear they had no masks. And now I'm looking at either Seattle or California. Maybe Texas will. For all you podcast listeners and watchers that just heard what Schlatt said, just want to interject. No. No.

We fixed it. You don't know what it's like being here. Nope. Just not. Just nope. Well, hey, Minx, I get what you're saying that no one lives in the EU because I was in New York and you'd think, hey, well, if you're in New York City, there's going to be other people that do the same shit. But that's not the case.

It's like there's no one in New York. Ted, I think you can relate to that. It's like no one who does this job is on the East Coast at all. Biggest channel in Vermont, baby. Me and the cows. Let's go. Charlie's the biggest fucking YouTuber in Vermont. Biggest. It's crazy. And so, yeah, I get wanting to be a YouTuber. Just me and cheese out here. You'd think that there'd be more...

content creators in New York. I mean, that's one of the biggest cities in the country. So it's kind of strange, but I, I think that, you know, LA and like, and now Austin, I suppose, uh,

Are we herd animals, do you think? What's up? Are we herd animals? I think we want to be around people that do the same shit. I think that's very important for the job. And honestly, I've been loving being around just people I know in Austin. Yeah, wait, what is that changed like? And it's cool to see people coming down and moving here. I think Austin might be the next spot. Ted? Ted?

You don't have to wake up at 8 in the morning and then see all the smog of Los Angeles. Oh, God. Oh, God. Here we go. I didn't even have any sort of online connections with other content creators until 2018. Yeah. It took me a long time. Yeah. That's when it first started for me. But it's definitely like a – I feel like it's a really important thing if you ever want to take –

this thing seriously unless you have like some sort of really powerful internal drive that like doesn't care and doesn't have any sort of worries about anything in the world then I feel like you need to know other people that do this kind of stuff otherwise you're gonna go crazy yeah it's funny how different my attitude is because if I 100% left alone would just crawl under a log for a month and just like make a movie and just like crawl back under and it's like wait do you ever plan to move Charlie from Vermont I don't even

I don't even know where that is. I've told it before on the pod. I'll tell it again. Listen, I tried to go out to California. I scouted it out and immediately I walked into the sea, stepped on a stingray, walked out of the sea. You can't let that be the reason you don't move to California. And then within 100 feet of my house, the state just ignited into flame. And then I left. You cannot let that be the reason that you...

I walked out of the beach. I limped off the beach and I coughed to myself and I looked up and the entire skyline was ablaze. And then 50 people ran up to him and were like, hey, you want to buy some weed? And then I swam off the coast of California all the way back around to Vermont where I've settled down in a nice burrow with some cattle. A log cabin.

So to actually answer your question, honestly, I'm totally feeling it out. I don't want to jump into anything. And I also know that I am very much... I really like green space and I like having, I don't know, just places to walk and places to go outside and not be surrounded in people.

is kind of the kind of person I am. A lot of hiking options. LA is a hard sell. I don't know where Vermont is. How far is that from California and Austin? It's on the opposite side of the country. It's almost the farthest from California that you could be. Do you know where Boston is, Minks? Oh, yeah, I do. Two hours north from Boston. Oh, my God.

Yeah, I am out here, man. I am between the pines right now. No, that sounds nice. No, it is nice. I like it. It's very calming up here. Lots of Birkenstocks. Lots of Oreos. Lots of flannels. Lots of flannels. Lots of Birkenstocks. Lots of people just drinking maple syrup straight out the jug. Everybody drives a Subaru. Oh, my God. Actually...

You know, after being banned for eight years of driving, I passed my driver's test today. You were banned for eight years? Congratulations. We're just going to glaze over the first part. Great job. Excellent work. No, no, no, no, no. I was banned because of my epilepsy. If you have a seizure, you can't drive for four years.

Four years, really? Oh, so you had a seizure and then four years went by and then you had a seizure again? Yeah, well, it was, they actually, I'm going to fight the hospital. I'm going to fight the free. Free healthcare is great and all until they fuck it up. It wasn't, it was a stress fit. There's a difference between a full-blown seizure that you can't control and yeah, it crushed the car, between a stress fit where it's like a mix between a seizure and a panic attack.

Did you start explaining this to them after they brought you back from death? No! Oh my god! That was like 10 years ago! Terrible! Please!

You wake up, you wake up from death and you're like, listen, guys, I was a little stressed. I feel so bad for joking about this, but it seems like you're comfortable with it. No, no. I'm like, I hate when people like every time I feel like I never talk about on my stream because I'm so sorry you're going through that. I'm like, yeah, 10 years ago. I don't remember it. I don't. I remember waking up and thinking I fell asleep. OK, I died. But it wasn't like fucking traumatic.

Have any of you guys fainted before? Just like straight up faint? No. Maybe? I black out a little when I get up really fast sometimes. I've been trying to imagine what that situation would be like if I was in Minx's shoes. And the only similar thing I can imagine is one time when I was in the Jersey Shore.

There was I was it was like one morning and then I was at like a farmer's market and then randomly I just start getting tunnel vision. And then I wake up and there's like five people standing over me. And I'm like, what? It's like a it's like a smash cut. You know what I mean? You're just. Well, no, it's not necessarily like a smash cut. It's like a it's like a.

slow darkness that comes upon you. A dissolve. A cross dissolve. Yeah, it is. The little sparkly dots that come around and slowly get smaller and smaller until you're gone. Yeah, exactly. That's exactly what it's like. So...

It's very disorienting, for sure. So I can imagine how fucking confused you were when you woke up. Okay, if I ever see sparkly dots... Maybe we can do this in the next podcast. We'll slap. Maybe we can do this. That's where the cartoon aspect of the stars around the...

around the head when someone gets hit in the head comes from because yeah when you when you start to pass out you actually see stars but it makes sense you do see stars but it's like black stars it's like sparkly like white light says the black fades in what about the ducks where do those come from

The ducks? Do you see... You know when, like, someone gets hit in the head in the cartoons and it's like, bonk, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing, boing. Or like the cuckoo clock? Is that what you're talking about? Yeah, where did the little chickens that circle around come from? Did you see any of those when you went out? Did a welt the size of your fucking hand grow on the top of your head? A merge out of you? Yeah.

Yeah, did you wake up? Were you just in a room full of ducks and the doctors just ignored them? I think he was asking you, Ted. You're the one that fainted. It was an open-ended question. It was open-ended. Welcome to America. Open-faced. No, the last thing I remember when I had the seizure was like not being able to breathe, shaking an EpiPen being stuck in my ass and then one being stuck in my gum. Needles put in me everywhere, yeah. Fuck that, man. Jesus Christ.

I'm just trying to make you guys feel bad now because you guys seem like it's funny. Well, no, I mean, it's funny. I'm going to say the worst aspects. You know, I couldn't breathe. I was lying there for two minutes, like choking on air. Well, that's kind of funny. I'm sorry. I'm joking. Well, that's kind of funny.

I know it is. Let's put this flipped car in reverse and let's go back to the America topic because I think there's more to talk about. Why America? What do you like about America? What are the vibes? How are they different here as opposed to Ireland? That's always a fun question. I love Taco Bell.

Is that the reason? Taco Bell is really good. I'm so sorry to the gays, but Chick-fil-A. I know they're homophobic. Why are they homophobic? Someone fill me in. I just know every time I post a picture... It's just like the leadership or the CEO or something. Yeah, something funky is going on in there. Yeah, it's not like the chicken is inherently anti-gay. It's more like the people at the top of the chain are donating to... Yeah, yeah. I don't want to spread any misinformation. Why don't we just murder them? At least they say my pleasure.

Do they? They have to. Yeah, they have to. When you say thank you, they are contractually obligated to say my pleasure. So you just keep saying thank you to them. Do they sign a contract when they start working there? No, they don't. That's how jobs usually work. I've never... Okay, I don't think I've ever said thank you to them. No, I'm kidding. I have. I feel like I... Yeah, but Taco Bell is pretty good, though. Taco Bell. Ooh, the Cinnabons.

The Crunchwrap Supreme, the Doritos, tacos, tacos. I cannot wait. Taco Bell used to have, and I don't know if this is something that happened with this one store that I Postmates from.

They used to have these donuts, donut balls with like a cream cheese feeling in them. It was like a churro ball with cream cheese in it and it was fucking awesome. It was the best thing ever. And I would always order them. And then I go to order them one time in addition to my Doritos Locos tacos and they didn't have them. And my heart, in that moment, my heart broke into a million pieces. What's your favorite fast food? Has anyone here had Cane's?

Yeah, there's a Cane's not too far away. I like it. Cane's is good. And I just want to interject before we move on. Taco Bell shits ass. All right, let's keep going now. No, no, no. Taco Bell's good, man. You don't feel good after you eat it. Fuck off. It's not even good. Come on. You just slurp the wet meat out of the soggy tortilla. Yeah, you do.

And then you just shit it out over the course of the next 24 to 48 hours. Actually, I have a question. When you guys are constipated, do you ever get turned on? Because that's where the G-spot is. Oh, Jesus Christ. Okay. Charlie, have you ever eaten a Doritos Logos taco? I'm sorry. I love Taco Bell. They're going to stop. Have you ever eaten one? No, I haven't. Okay. So...

What a wonderful way to invalidate your entire opinion. I am ignorant enough to preserve my opinion even after having one. Oh. Listen. What do you think about coronavirus masks, Charlie? Oh, I think they're great. I like that they can't fit a taco into them. It keeps the Taco Bell out of my mouth from that shit-ass restaurant. Hold on. Before we go any further, please allow us to fulfill a contractual obligation.

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Make shit happen. Now let's get back to the episode of the Chuckle Sandwich Podcast. Speaking of the male G-spot, Minx, why did a training kit show up to my door with your name on it? Yeah, so for anyone unaware here, I send Schlotz and butt plugs.

For fun. Because I'm sick of men saying they're not going to take it up the ass. Okay, respectfully, if you don't want to, you don't want to. But why is the G spot there? Okay, question mark. Let's talk about that. That's, I feel like that's a good one. You should have asked God when you got the chance to say that. That is really curious that it is there. It is there, you know, like of all places, why is it not in your penis?

Wait, what's the, what's the, how, how like far? What are the curse words? Are you going to bleep me out? Can I say anything? I mean. Cunt, cunt, cunt, bitch, cunt, bitch. At this point, what do you want to say? Just say it.

You've already started talking about pegging. Did you try them at all, though, Schlatt? No, I did not try the butt plugs you sent me. I didn't. Why? I imagine it'll just feel like something in my ass, and it'll be uncomfortable. Outside of the sandwich, Schlatt. Off the record, man. I ordered a training kit, and I also ordered a foxtail. Do you realize how rude that is? Not even to test it out. On what foxtail?

fucking planet do you see me putting a butt plug with a foxtail in my ass makes in my there's so many there's so many good berries and nuts out there man scurry around

Am I having a seizure? Yo, Nick Watt from Zootopia is so fucking fine, though. What the hell is this? Don't tell me you would not do anything to me. You wanted to bring this uncaged woman onto this podcast. You're setting a great example for the female race, Minx. You're the first and last woman we're ever going to have on this fucking show.

I'm not putting the butt plugs in my ass. I looked at the female race. I was going to just ignore that Ted, but thank you. So the kit comes with like a small one, a medium sized one, and then a fucking huge one. And I looked at the huge one and I said, no, I don't think that one's for me.

You didn't even attempt. You know what? Okay, pussy. Some people do sounding. Do you guys know what that is? What is that? Oh, don't tell me. I don't want to know. Okay, I'll tell you guys. I don't know. That's when you take a long, thin metal rod. Oh, my God. He knows. Oh, no, it's this. I want someone to kill me and bring me back. And you shove it down your peepee hole. When we're all out of this call. Down the peepee hole?

Yeah, like, okay, editors, you can bleep out everything I'm saying right now. Yeah, you shove it in your penis hole. It's called sounding. What the fuck? Why? What's the goal? I don't know. I saw it when I was like, you know what? You know what? I don't under... Oh, God, no, actually, maybe... Okay, I understand different fucking traumas for other people. I saw, like, two girls, one cop as a kid, one guy, one jar, sounding. And I would like... I see, you know... Well, that explains a lot.

No, everyone saw those, though. I didn't see them. I was scared. All right. Let's see them. Take us somewhere new. Minx, I got a cat recently. And one of the great things about my cat is how much more handsome it is than yours.

Okay, you know what? First of all, that's incorrect. I'm going to get my cat real quick. Yeah, well, he's going to get his cat. Can you get your cat? Oh, here's the thing. My cat's sleeping right on his heating pad right now. My cat has been cuddling in my arms like a baby the past few... Your cat's been there? My cat's been here too. No, but in my arms. I'm taking a picture really quick. I don't know if you guys can... Hold on, let me... Hey, bud. Hey. Guys, I'm not going to take her... I'm not going to bring her down here, but...

I recently got a cat as well. You got a cat too? Yeah, Grace and I have been talking about it for a long... Here, I'm going to send it in the chat, okay? I don't want to scare her, so I'm not going to bring her down right now. Oh my god, what breed of cat? Oh, you're going to see. He's got a really wonderful cat. She is so funny. She is such a beautiful feline. Wait, where? Where is it? Look at this cat. I'm sending it right now. It's taking a second to upload, okay?

Aww, what a nice cat. That's such a nice cat. She is so funny. She is so quirky. That is such a beautiful cat. I love that cat. I know, she's just been hiding in his stump. I really like that cat. For our audio listeners. Shitting everywhere. It's not a cat. Is that a beaver?

It's a guinea pig. No, she's built different. She's built different. So what? Her legs are a little shorter. She looks a little more rodent-like. She makes noises like a rodent. And I bought her from a place where she was labeled as a guinea pig. But who are we to put labels on what? Is it eating its own shit in that picture? No, it's a fucking food bowl. It's not a shit bowl. That's a lot of food. That's like...

That bowl is the same size as the guinea pig. That thing's going to be twice its size tomorrow morning. I don't want to look at your cat and make sure your cats are ugly. Your cats are ugly. Yeah, your editor's going to have the best time ever. He's been just sleeping in my arms like a little baby. Ugly cats. Ugly cats. You're a fucking ugly cunt. Here's the thing. You got the cats and you would always send pictures to us and not a single one of the photos was ever in focus.

Yeah, actually, even the one you just sent, I'm having a hard time figuring out where the cat is. It kind of just looks like a... That is a terrible photo. What the fuck is that? What is that photo you just sent? It came lying in my eye like a baby. It looks like a...

Here, look, look, look. Where's his face, dude? Here, here, here's OBS. His face is, his eyes are cold. If you see the image clearly, you instantly die, so she has to fuzz it. But dude, like, there's something, they look like they were, like, in the car with you during that accident. Oh, Jesus. Like, holy shit. What the fuck? Like, they just don't look. What are their names of your beautiful, beautiful cats? Oh.

Well, I was going to start my little fake crying bit so, you know, he could get cancelled again. Cornelius and Siloam. Don't let me stop. Don't let me. Go ahead. Go ahead. This is Cornelius. Siloam, where are you? This is Cornelius. Cornelius, so handsome. So cute. Yeah.

Oh yeah, look at my Jambo. Tell me he isn't more handsome. Okay, so to avoid doing too many visual bits right now for our audio listeners. Oh, my little cat. My little cat. Love you to death. I mean, Minx, what's your favorite part about having a cat? I mean, I've heard that they're sort of a pain in the ass for a lot of stuff. So like, what makes it worth it for you? Stop grabbing my microphone. Their shit tastes good. Stop. What? What?

Minx, you're doing an incredible job of making this podcast really, really hard. Why do you like your cats? Don't say that you want to eat their shit because no one's going to believe that. My favorite thing about my cats are they're cuddly cats.

Mine actually cuddle. I know all the cats I've like grown up with, they scrub me and they're mean, but mine are like dogs. Everyone gets Scottish Fold. No, the other cats did. Not my cats. My cats like me. No, I was just wondering, you said scrub? She just said so many words I did not pick up on anything. I don't know what happened, man. Scrub, yeah. Scrub? Scottish Folds?

Scrob! Like, a cat scrubs you. Like when a bird opens its mouth? I don't think that that's a word. The blood! It scrubs you! Scrob? It is a word. Minx, let me stop you right there. Am I hearing this right, guys? Is she saying scrob? Listen, if you're gonna get this visa, they scratch you. They scritch you, maybe, even. Scrob? I am proud to say I have never once in my life been scrubbed, and I never intend to be.

Scrob definition. It is to scrape with claws. How do you spell it? S-C-O-R. Or it's not a letter. Or it's not a letter. And if it were, the word would be scorb. C-O-R-A-W-B. Or. What the fuck is or? Fucking Christ. S-C-O-R-A-W-B. Stop doing that. If you would like to use it in my sentence, my cats scrob me.

That is, we are back to fucking Scrob 1, I mean Square 1, shit. Oh my god, I've been Scrobbed. Wow, I guess I learned a new word today, Scrob. Wait, I need pee. Hands up, this is a Scrobbery. I'm going to pee. You need to pee? Yeah. Yeah, okay, go to the bathroom and we'll talk about how to fix this fucking podcast. Yeah, Scrob you later. Hey, hi guys, welcome to my podcast, Chickle Sandwich.

Hey, thanks for having us. Thank you so much for having us. Yeah, yeah. So glad to have you guys here. If you guys could do a quick introduction, because time isn't like... I'm trying to find more important guests, but I'm so happy to have you guys here. Quick intros, really quick. That's fine. Hi, I'm Shled. I'm the mayo. Hi, I'm Charlie. I can be the meat. Hi, I'm Ted. Butt pieces, smushing it all together. Okay, okay. I love that. Was that good? Yeah.

My first question is specifically for actually anyone who can answer first. Could you spell Jesus without the J and the E? Not spell, actually. Can you say Jesus without the J and the E? Yes. Yes, I can. Yes, I can. Yes, I can. Don't do it. Don't do it, Charlie. Well, I think if I did, guys, it'd be a little... Gosh.

That was the worst way you could have delivered that. Thank you so much. Thank you so much for having us on the sandwich. Everyone give it up. I'm actually not done. Okay, this one is to Ted.

What is the craziest thing that you would do for, okay, I would say a thousand bucks. Gifted subs. Like, you get a hundred gifted in one goal and you have to do, like, okay, maybe that's too little for you. Maybe you're rich. I don't know your money nature. But what's the craziest thing, like, as a sub goal? As a sub goal? Yes. I don't know. Maybe I'd do a... 20 squats. 20 squats.

Yeah, yeah. Would you go bald? How many subs to go bald? 20 squats. Go bald? How many subs to go bald? How many subs to shave your head while you do squats? Whatever the number is, it's like one higher than Ludwig's. I'd go bald. That is so obscene. 170,000 subscribers. That is so obscenely high.

That is more subs than hairs you have on your fucking head. I don't know if that's necessarily true. That was a terrible answer. Okay, Schlatt, it's your turn. If you had to be a clout chaser or a money chaser, which would you be? And let's cut out where you are right now. Money chaser. Money chaser. Schlatt's eyes are going both directions right now. Okay, that's fair. Charlie! That's me.

Which YouTubers do you think would be the worst parents? One woman and one man. You have to answer or you're a pussy. A woman and a man? Oh, God. All right, all right. Worst pair, worst pair. I'm looking at my subscriptions right now. Let's say we're going with critical, moist critical, I see. And...

This is not good, guys. I'm looking through my subscriptions for a female YouTuber. This is not good. I would say Jake Paul and Tana Mongeau. Oh, yeah. What does Tana Mongeau do? Yeah, but they have money. Like, you know, like, they could, like, get good babysitters. The kids could grow.

Jessica Marbles and the YouTube channel Ordinary Sausage, which with 597,000 subscribers that I watch on the regular. Jessica Marbles? Jenna Marbles and Ordinary Sausage. Lily Singh and How To Basic.

Oh! That's a good one. That's a good one. I like that one a lot. Anyway, you were so quick on it too. I think you'd be a terrible couple with Mark Rober. I don't think so. You don't think so? You don't think you'd get along? You think you'd...

I think I'm a bit smarter than him. Wow, NASA engineer, put a rover on Mars. He's planting your house with elephant toothpaste as we speak right now. If he tries. You just open up the door and you get launched back 100 feet. Just so gone. All right, excuse me. Wait, who did I ask last now? You asked me a question, but Ted had a much better answer to it.

Actually, okay, I'll just ask questions and you guys answer because that's interesting. Who do you think would be the worst YouTube parents? I said it. Next question. No, I'm not a YouTuber. I'm a streamer. You can't. Fine, fine, fine. All right. Okay, okay, okay. Have any of you guys heard about the math situation right now on Twitter? The math situation? No, no, I've heard about the math. The math fucking idiot. You fucking idiot. It sounded like you said math. So you said math balls. Well, you were wrong.

Well, well, well, well, you were wrong. Well, you were wrong. And I think it was funny. The year out there where it sounds like she's going to cut out all the all these math balls. How do you feel about pineapple on pizza? It's fine. It's fine. It's totally. And you know what? Actually, I would venture to say it's it's good. I'd say it's controversial.

I'd say it's nice when you want pineapple on pizza. How about that? Just put pepperoni on it. You could put pepperoni and pineapple. It's not like a horror situation. I don't think you should do that. You totally could. Pineapple is... Listen, you can just have it. Like, if you want pineapple, you want pineapple, but I don't think it needs to be on every pizza. You know, Shalott, I'm a little confused on why you sided with Charlie so much on the cookie conversation if now he's saying that he doesn't like Taco Bell and that...

he wants to fuck a pineapple pizza. Completely different, completely separate things, Ted. I'm just saying, I mean...

Yeah, because one, everyone can agree on. I'm just saying, think about who you were agreeing with. That's all I'm saying. Minx, I'm inverting the sandwich. Hard cookie or soft cookie? Go now. This decision will have immense repercussions for your future. Well, is it warm? If it's warm, a soft cookie. If it's hard, or if it's not fucking warm, a hard cookie. You don't want a less warm soft cookie? No.

No, I think the usage of the word hard is a bit misleading. No, no, no, no one says no one said soggy. No one said soggy here at all. In fact, I want to bring it back and emphasize that a lot of the times the only way to make a hard cookie good is to sog it up in the first place, right? What the fuck are you like a crispy cookie or do you like a soft cookie minks? Probably crispy.

Unless it's warm and soft. Who the hell found this fucking person to bring on our show? Wait, no, no. I have one more question. You've angered the son of a baker. I have one more question. What are your zodiac signs? I don't fucking know. If we answer wrong, she'll instantly leave. How do you not know? I had somebody ask me that the other day. And I told them...

I told them like the wrong one. I said I was like a Taurus or something like that. And they were like, oh my God, that makes so much sense. And I was like, really? Really? Why does that make sense? And they gave me a bunch of reasons. And I was like, well, that's funny because I'm a Capricorn. You're a Taurus? That is such a Leo thing to say. Oh, man. I am a Leo. I am a Leo. I don't know what it means. That's my star sign. Yeah, that's about right. Shut the fuck up, Schlatt. Shut the hell up, dude. That's about right.

I am feeling right now like I am about to embody the element of fire and be in love with life and have a good time. Only a Leo would like a soft cookie. So the Leo and Capricorn trust is 40%.

The Leo and Capricorn sexual intimacy is 5%. It's literally space racism. Wait, wait, wait. Is Ted a Capricorn? I am a Capricorn. He is a Capricorn. Oh, my God. We've only got 5%, man. The emotion between you guys is 1%.

The values is 50%. The summary is that you guys don't, shouldn't be friends. It's 27%. Oh, the emotions is 50. It's very interesting how a, whatever month you're born determines your values. I never understood that. Yeah. Well, I'm a Leo, so I'm going to have to disagree with you on that. There are people out there in the world that will, that will avoid people if they know when you were born. No fucking way. No, it's not that. No.

People take it so seriously where it's like, oh my god, like, and dang. I mean, Schlatt said it pretty well. It's space racism. It's space racism. Well, let's figure that out after you tell us your zodiac sign, and I can decide how much I hate you. Schlatt, what is the month? What's your birthday? No, no, no. I'm not going to say it. Give me birth month. Give me birth month. No, I'm not going to say it. I'm not going to say it. I don't even care. I don't even care. He doesn't care.

Alright, we're gonna, we're gonna, um, if you had to be born, what day would you be born on? Fucking Wednesday? I don't know. That is such a cancer thing to say, man. That is such a cancer thing to say. Yeah. Yeah. Wow. I guess I'm... What's the most illegal thing you've done? Jaywalked in New York City.

Come on now. You had to do some more legal stuff. Think about it this way, Minx. Add however much the fine is for that and then multiply it by thousands of counts. Stabbed a Capricorn. Fair. I got a real story. This was many years ago. And it was a dark, cold night. And what I like to do is camp out in front of this one building and...

Dump water on the streets and watch the cars swerve over them and flip. In Ireland? In Ireland. Oh, no. Oh, boy. There we go. Yeah. Wow. It's a lot of airfare. It's a lot of airfare for a hobby. I know. Jesus, Schlatt.

And you did this when you were, what, 11? 11. 11 or so. 11 or so. Yeah. Maybe you're more of a Scorpio then. Wait, no, I got the age wrong. You should be 9. I was 9. Well, that's when it was. That's when it was? You can never tell how old you are when you're young. I have no idea. All right. Hey, hey. Speaking of time, it looks like we're almost out. Minx. Minx.

Thank you for having us on your podcast. One more question. I wanted to ask one more question. Let me do this. You can't just start saying it, dude. Jeez Louise. I am a Leo and I am enraged. That's fine. As a Cancer, I respect that and I think that's valid. As a Capricorn, I disagree. Dude, I literally don't care. I wasn't disagreeing with anything specific. I was just generally disagreeing.

Do you have a question, Charlie? What are you going to say? Let me take the charts for today. I can't find the shit that I give.

And I was going to ask, I was going to ask, no, I was actually going to ask if Minx could give us one more question to end her. Why would we do? Why would we do that? I can. All right. Ask one more question. But no, I'm stuck between it. How about I ask three and then you guys choose which you want to answer as a fun little group project. You guys got to come together and pick the answer. Okay. I'm going to give you three. Okay. The first one is.

And I don't want any interruptions. I want all three questions said, and then you say your preference afterwards. Okay. The first one is, have you ever had a paranormal experience? And if you had, what was it? Someone's reading into them. Someone got super excited. The second one is, what is the craziest rumor that, you know, your fans or friends made up about you?

And the third one is, what is the most unusual fear you had? So, is anyone, like, leaning towards a question? Paranormal. I have such a fucking story. Holy shit, Minx. I was working in the lab late one night when my eyes beheld an eerie sight. Oh, no. For my monster from his slab began to rise. And suddenly, to my surprise...

He did the monster mash. The monster mash. It was a graveyard smash. I just wanted to call it back. Makes the last episode we did of the podcast was a ghost hunting episode. Yeah, no. I forgot the cameras weren't on. My head was in my hands the whole fucking time. Oh, good, good, good. Oh.

All right. Well, Minx, thanks for that question. Now I raise one to you. Would you rather have unlimited bacon, but also no more games? Or would you rather have games? Unlimited games? I can't believe we show up for this shit every week. Minx, would you rather have unlimited bacon, but no more games? I hate bacon. Wait for the question.

You need to hear it out. You need to hear it out. Minx, would you rather have unlimited bacon, but no more games, or games, unlimited games, and no games? You know, it took me a while to come to terms with my answer to this, Minx. And when I found it, I actually found it uptown. I went up there. Dude. Dude.

Think about it. Think about it for a while. Let it muddle. I think I'm going to go with, actually, the first option. Really? Why? Say it back. Say back the first option to him. Unlimited bacon, but no games. Would you guys fuck Jesus Christ? What? No. I thought, yeah, then I thought it was just a little...

I don't think so. I don't know. It was a very literal question. What's Jesus Christ's star sign? I don't know. I thought it was like a speed round of questions. I forgot it was the end. Well, thanks for having me on. Thank you so much. Does everyone else want to answer? Ted, what about you? Would you?

What about Jesus? Fuck Jesus Christ? No, we wouldn't. No, I probably would. No, Jesus of Nazareth? He was such a Pisces. Okay, thanks for watching the episode of the Chuckle Sandwich Podcast with our friend Justin Minx. It was great to have you, Minx. Regardless of what we all thought. Also, I'm single to anyone watching.

I'm single and I'm moving to America. So if anyone, my Instagram DMs are open. Check your star charts, everyone. I am a Scorpio. So if we align on the charts, there we go. Mix, before we go, is there anything in particular that you want to plug that you do or any projects you're working on right now?

Oh, I got YouTube's coming out. Yeah. Still working on that lifelong project of getting laid. Okay. Thanks, Minx. See you next time on the Chuckle Sandwich. Don't just stop the episode.