Deep Dive
Shownotes Transcript
- I've heard that you-- - I heard you're 23? - I heard that you keep two birds hostage in your home. - Ooh, jeez. - One bird? - Two. - Two birds, I was right. Hostage in your home. How do you feel and what's it like to abuse the animals you love most? - You know, it's just part of the routine. - You know you could take a bird? Why did you buy them?
You bought your birds, right? You couldn't take a bird. Because they're pretty colors. Is it true that you bought your birds? Is it true you spent money you could have spent spending on charity on birds? You could have just walked outside and grabbed one. Now that's yours. That's your bird. Is it true that you didn't grab a bird outside? It's all true. It's all true. Welcome to Chuckle Sandwich. We got Jaden Animations.
Very good. That's probably the first episode we've ever done a little thing in the beginning that would lead into the musical intro. First criminal we've had on the podcast. Hey, Jane. I'm here in the interrogation room. How does the brief freedom feel before you inevitably go back? Commit another crime. You know, I'll take what I can get. Tell us about the birds. Huh? Tell us about the birds.
Alive and kicking a lot, but what type of birds do you own Jaden? You're on a podcast? I'm gonna ask you questions about your life and yourself. Oh my god ones blue and ones red that doesn't It says the color yeah, okay. You ever what do you did you know that if you smash them together? That's the plan oh, that's the plan
She's working on the big Jaden Hadron Collider. Bird Collider. Jaden's new experiment. The bird buster. The bird buster. What kind of birds are they besides hopefully still alive? Tiny medium ones. They're like this big. What species of bird? You keep avoiding the question. You know what we're asking. You're acting like we have someone sketching out the birds. That's what I'm used to.
Conyers. They're... They got white around the eyes. Oh, very cool. Conyers? They bite a lot. They bite? A lot? One gave me this scar here. Okay, so that explains the bird buster. We're constantly fighting. Do they talk? One says his name a lot. Oh, so they can talk. It's like a Pokemon. What will the other ones say? That's pretty cool. That's pretty cool. Um... Well...
I feel like we haven't even introduced you that much. Welcome, Jaden, to the podcast. Jaden, she is an animator, and she makes story times. True. Explanations of life stories, various situations. She's 23 years old. She has two birds. Two birds and 10 million plus subscribers. According to this fact sheet that I found...
A higher net worth than all of you guys. Wow. And unmarried. Wait, actually. You guys are all married? Those are some expensive words. So on another podcast, we actually looked up our net worth according to those websites that are like. Oh, really? That are never right? Yeah, exactly. What is Jaden's net worth, allegedly? Allegedly $5 million. $5 million. Wow. I would like to have that. I can get away with that.
I haven't yet. Charlie, how much was yours? It was like, what was it? 1 point. You're like 1.2 mil. Yeah. Yeah. I was 3 to 4 mil. 3 to 4 mil. I had $100,000. I had $100,000. What are you doing here? I don't know. Trying not to get a prenup. Trying to boost that net worth. Yeah. Yeah. Mm-hmm.
So we always ask this question to every guest we have on the podcast. We go around. We like to ask what part of the sandwich they are. So pre-established, Ted is the butt loaf. The butt pieces. The butt pieces of the bread. Schlatt. I'm the mayo. Don't mess this up, Charlie. And I'm... Don't mess it up. I'm the meat. I'm the meat.
So can I be the toothpick with the olive? Oh, absolutely. Maybe just the toothpick. You can also be another type of meat. Charlie's taking up all of the meat. She didn't want to be the meat. She wanted to be a stick of wood. You wanted to be a piece of wood. You're going to be the sandwich holder in there? Yeah. The one right in the middle. Do you want to be a meat?
I think Ted might want to be a meat. No, I don't. I just want you to... We have been going on strong for 20, 30, 40-ish episodes. You don't need to hide your feelings. And now all of a sudden you want to be the meat. Because you're acting like Schlatt at Korean barbecue. You're taking all the meat for yourself. I did. I took all the bulgogi. I am all the meat, man. You should have seen this fucking guy at Korean barbecue. All of it. Yeah. So...
You know how they they have the hot plate have you been to throw the meat on it before? Yes
I went for the first time, and I think Charlie did too, last night. I had gone once with Schlatt before, but it's- What? Really? Yeah, we had gone. We went. Without you. Without you, Ted. You weren't there. This reminds me of my childhood too much. I don't remember much except the fact that you weren't there. And it's funny, because we actually did that in LA. Crazy. It's insane how fun it was. So they had the hot plate, right, and they'd throw the meats on, and you can do whatever you want with the tongs. And so-
It's like a bonus. Or so they say. Are you like flipping it around? Or so they say, though, but we didn't really have too much freedom with the dog. They didn't like us. They got pissed at us. That's why I was laughing because you said you could do whatever you want, but really we couldn't. Yeah. In most places that I've been to, they let you do whatever you want, but we must have looked like children sitting in front of the hot plate because the lady just like came up to us and she just grabbed the tongs out of our hands. It was like...
Well, because the first plate we got was the brisket, and it had maybe 30 little rolls of the brisket. And Shlatt was individually placing them in. And this lady came up, and she was like,
And the chef was like, all right, hands it over. And then she just goes, turns the plate vertically and just, yeah. And then just starts like, and they do this thing where they take the tongs and they, they open up water so they can grab like a bunch and just like flip it and throw it and stuff. I, I,
I feel like we learned over the course of it, though. Like, at the end of it, we were making it ourselves. Yeah, we were making some schmied, and I would take most of it and put it on my plate. I felt like that's... Do you feel like that's, you know, an okay thing to do? If I introduce them to this food that I enjoy...
And I'm cooking the food. I ordered the food. I'm paying for the food. I take the meat. It made it more okay when you ended up paying for the food at the end. Yeah, I took the meat. I put my credit card down. There was no determination of who was paying for the food that night, though. I feel like Korean barbecue is survival of the fittest. Yeah. You cook the food. You get it. There's one pair of tongs. It's in my hands. That's one thing that was nice about having that person there, though, is that they were sometimes there when the meat was finished, so they would spread it out evenly.
Evenly and it was that was I didn't like that you didn't like that you know I wanted all I could just keep going I love the free-for-all Korean barbecue places cuz I'll just keep getting bulgogi that thin sliced beef and I'll just keep going I'll just keep eating how much how many plates of it have you gotten like the mojo? Oh geez you could get I could eat like six of them six full plates of that bulgogi shit
Oh my god. What percent of a plate is a cow? Could you eat a whole cow? A whole googie? Oh, a cow's gotta be like- A cow's a lot.
Several thousand places. Several thousand places? Whoa. Were you about to say, what about a tiny cow? Tiny cow. Tiny cow. Maybe a couple hundred. Not a young one, but a really small one. It's very thinly sliced beef. It's thin stuff. I guess it depends on where it comes from, though. It probably comes from a specific part of the cow. Animal agriculture is the number one cause of climate change. True. Yeah.
Oh, let me just stop eating bulgogi. Fuck you, bro. And we're all going to be- I'm not stopping. Collapse of society, MIT by 2040, according to Charlie. According to MIT? What do you mean, according to Charlie? Well, no. According to MIT, according to Charlie. None of us have looked this up ourselves. You told us this this morning. Yeah, I mean, Jaden, how do you feel about the inevitability of the march we're doing just towards disaster? Yeah, that's a great question. Just to open it up to you. Total societal- Keep on marching. Keep on marching.
Towards societal collapse is what we're marching towards. And you think that's... March towards it or through it? Everyone should experience something once. Well, everyone's going to experience it at the same time. Exactly one time. You mean us as a species is what you're talking about? Yes. Like as a team. No? Cool. No, it's...
Yeah. No, I'm down. And I like it. I like selling it as an experience. Wow. I am not going to stop using plastic straws when there are people infinitely more powerful than me that can light the fucking ocean on fire. Is that fair? Why do I feel the need to recycle anymore when they're lighting the fucking ocean up? How do you even light the ocean on fire?
Well, you put oil in it. Everyone's got to experience one thing once. Everybody's got to experience lighten up the ocean. Everyone deserves to go to the redwoods. Get a bunch of oil out there. Off the checklist. Well, I mean, according to Boraf, you could run right into a redwood tree and knock them over. Apparently, they've got very shallow roots. Yes. Have you ever run headfirst into a redwood tree before with a vehicle?
No. Well, you know what they say. There is a first round thing. You know what? Where are they located? You know what they say. Keep on marching. The Redwood Forest. That's where they are. I don't know where that is. Oh, damn. So... So what the fuck is your problem? What?
What do you want? Why don't you know where the Redwood Forest is? I don't know where a lot of things are. Schlatt? No, it's okay. I feel like we should all go around and just kind of mention some issues we got. Yeah, no, that's good, but before, I'm sorry, before we go into it. What is that? That's thick water, isn't it? No, it's not. No. What do you mean?
It's just relative to other water. I mean, maybe. Why would I drink that when I have Voss water right here? You don't have that. What the hell is that? I'm out of it. Jaden came into the GG office, Game Grump, with like five bottles of Voss. That's true. That's true.
But this is the only water that you should really be drinking. Is it cold? No. It's warm, isn't it? It's been warm. It's been left out. You know the clear Elmer's glue? Yeah. It kind of looks a lot like that. It's got a consistent glue. Unless Elmer's glue is water. You picked it up now. You can't put it down. That wouldn't make sense. You need to drink more. Oh, she just went for it.
How is that? It tastes like plastic. It's not that bad, though. Thank God someone else has said that. The taste really gets to me. And you guys are like, it has no smell. It has no taste. And it's more than thick. It's like weird. All right. I just... I and I have both had a very large amount of thick water in our time. And... Did you put it in cereal? We had it in cereal. Yep. We had it in...
I had it out of the bottle that was just poured from it. It was, it was, it was, it was, I just absolutely. Viscerate, whole mouth around it as well. I absolutely just. Tongue in the bottle. No, I absolutely just chugged that thing. It's good. Went hard and long. Laughed at it. Strong. Tell us the trade secrets.
Of which we talked about a lot of things today so far. Yeah, of YouTube or the criminal underworld. Everybody knows that you're the kingpin of the YouTuber underground storytelling community. What is your favorite story? I don't know. I kind of stopped doing it. You stopped doing it? You don't believe in stories anymore? I won't tell a single story ever again. What the?
So what do you do now? Life is just one flat road, man. I don't talk to people. You go to court and you have to tell the story of someone getting murdered and you're like, I refuse. I won't. You're like the only witness. That's in my past. So what do you do now if you don't tell stories? Give me a tablet in 30 hours. I've been playing games and just talking about them. What kind of stuff? Video games. Right.
Next question. You're a tough egg to crack. That was good. I don't know it. You're a tough egg to crack. What kind of games are your comfort game? What is number one game, Jade? Number one game? I don't know. Do you have a series or a genre that you like a lot? The ones that are good for YouTube are really good. The ones I play. We're getting there, guys. We're getting there.
Hey Ian. Have you ever heard of Mario Dance Dance Revolution? Ian, is there something here we're doing wrong? Yeah, that's big on YouTube. Are we doing something wrong here, Ian? I can give you another fact. Yeah, give us another fact. Unmarried, according to the internet. Oh, okay. So when are you tying the knot with anyone? First person I see. First person you see? What's the date? Today is the 15th.
Christmas Eve. Christmas Eve? You're gonna get married by Christmas Eve? That sounds like the plot of a Hallmark movie is exactly what that sounds like. You're gonna marry the first guy I see on Christmas Eve. Would you star in a Hallmark movie? That's a very good point, Charlie. Why not?
Okay, yeah, that's good. Why not? What's it about besides Christmas? I'm usually about Christmas. What are any of them fucking about? They're all sort of just love. Family? Someone doesn't like Christmas and then they're told otherwise and then they change their mind. It's called the hero's journey. Live, laugh, love. Hallmark movies. Favorite Christmas movie? I like A Christmas Story, actually. Okay.
I used to just watch it every Christmas. I mean, when else would you watch it? I'm stupid. Yeah, that's true. You're dumb. I watch, my favorite is A Year Without a Santa Claus.
I like Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer. That's a song. No, it's an animated movie. It's an animated movie. And it sucks fucking ass. It is so unbelievably bad. It's an anti-capitalist movie. It's a bit anti-capitalist. It's incredibly anti-capitalist because Santa Claus hits some... Grandma. Here's the thing that sucks. Grandma doesn't actually die. What? It's actually worse. She doesn't remember her children instead. She gets amnesia and she like...
I remember this. Yeah, well, doesn't she get it back ever? Yeah, let me go. Let me go? Let me go! Yeah, that's what the grandma said when Santa Claus abducted her and kept her in North Pole, which is something that happened.
Nailed the lady with a reindeer. So it turns out, yeah, the... That sounds bad. Spoilers for Grandma Got Run Over by a Reindeer, guys, if you haven't seen it yet. We've all heard the fucking song. We know what happens, bro. So this poor grandma, again, spoilers, does in fact get hit by a reindeer. Dude, the goose is on the table. Just fucking get to the point. But what they don't tell you is that the sister who wants to own the grandma's shop put...
in the pie for Grandma to kill the Grandma, but the poison actually also attracts reindeers, and reindeers really like it. So the reindeers fly in with Santa Claus and hit her,
And the sister who doesn't believe in Christmas and simultaneously also is acting to frame Santa Claus for the murder to settle and take all of his money. They find grandma again. And then the daughter kidnaps her and puts her in a shed. The grandma's got amnesia. You have such an advanced and comprehensive knowledge of this movie that I would have never expected. I've seen it fairly recently. They do like a little hula dance thing.
And money is the enemy. Why do they do that? Money is the enemy. I'm just impressed. I mean, just the other day you were telling me you don't have any long-term memory. This is different. This is important. I watch this every night before I go to bed. You don't want to forget. I spend every night with this movie. And I watch it and I rub the VHS tenderly.
No. Oh, that's where you draw the line, Shlap? That's where I draw the line, yeah. That's where you draw the line. Oh, okay. You don't have to be rubbing VHS tapes like that, dude. No one does that. Surely they've burned it onto DVD by now. Surely it's on a Blu-ray. I don't know where we found it. I think we just found it on some dark corner. On the ground. Some literal dark corner of that. Hey, look at this. I think I'll watch this every day for the rest of my life. Definitely like an unfinished basement with the, you know, greased and or stained cement in the bottom.
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Why? I don't know. I just started. Oh, really? I was like, this seems cool, and I never stopped. Did you have a thing for the DSI Flipnote Studio? I did. I used that so much. Flipnote Studio. You know the banana song? Oh, the Onision? No. I love it.
I loved it as a kid. You want to hear something funny? I loved it so much I made a flip note with it. You want to hear something funny? I literally played that song, the banana phone song, like maybe four days ago on my speaker just because I wanted to hear it again. Really? The Onision? No, no. Which version? No, no, no. Ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring. Banana phone. You know, it's a real life mama and a papa phone.
I had the burrito song. Do you know the burrito song? Not the only song. This is the best burrito I've ever eaten. They made a flip note out of that one, too. Yum, yum, yum. Plenty of cheese, plenty of rice. I know the damn, damn, damn. You know that one? Crispity crunch. Look at the bacon. You don't put bacon in the burrito. You don't put bacon in the fucking burrito, bro. I'm making reference to that schmoyoho thing. I love it.
The damn, damn, damn. That's exactly what I'm thinking of. Custody Crunch. Damn. Look at the bacon. Yeah. Did you animate? It's a remix of a guy who was eating a Five Guys burger for the first time. Yeah. No, it's good. I'm going to show it to you. Was it just that or did you experiment a little with Flipnote? Is that where it all started? Did it start before that?
I just kind of made what I was like, I don't even know how old I was, 12, 13 at the time. I just, you know, you make your voice all high pitched and then you animate to it. I don't remember any of the other flip notes I made, but I just remember the bananas song and I showed it to my parents. They were so proud. They're like, this kid's going somewhere. You weren't big on the Hatenas?
Well, yeah. You were? I made them, but I didn't post them. My dad was like, you should post them to YouTube. And I was like, no, never. I used to do a thing when I was younger. And I would take, on Family Roaches with the DSI, I would take photos of the side of the road. And then I would draw little characters falling or hitting signs and shit on the side of the road.
- Dude, I feel like everyone-- - Had the same collective memory with the DSi. - Yeah, man. You remember the stock DSi flip notes? The dude who was like, and then he ran over. - And then he kicked the fucking. - Yeah. - Yeah. - Oh.
The boss flip no The feet go like this at the end they go like it Those eyes there. They're so cool. I drew my stick meant like that. Oh, yeah. Yeah, that was the first time I realized that you like that was the first time I started putting the arms of the stick guys on the head. Yeah, I'm not
On the head! Instead of just getting their fucking tires out. Yeah, come out of the head and not a fucking ten foot long neck. I'm so glad this is a shit. Oh shit. Yeah. Oh yeah, no, I drew mine like that too. No you didn't. No I did. I did when I wrote Pie Wars. Oh. Pie Wars, what's that? It was a comic book series, a widely acclaimed comic book series that I ran when I was in elementary school.
Ran is a strong word. Did you sell copies? I was the writer, artist, producer, publisher. Translator. Translator to 80 different languages now. Wow. Worldwide phenomenon. New York bestseller. Exactly once. Yeah, no, I mean, it was like, I wish I could...
I have a pen and paper. I want to give them a representation. Are you finally going to do a dish in two of pie, man? I can show you exactly how I would draw them. Boruff's got us covered. Wait, can you give me a piece of paper at the same time so I can draw my pie guy that I used to draw and we can see if they're the same? Boruff is really coming through right now. Boruff. Hello, Boruff. Oh, my God. Whoa. He's got a mold skip. As a kid, I had little characters. I had like...
Okay. This big-eyed guy and a raccoon. What to kill Joe Biden? What's going on here? So I would draw the characters. I'm not going to look. I'm going to do mine. Thank you. Whenever I would draw these stick men, basically they would have one eye like this and then one eye like that that overlaps it and then a nose like that, a smiley face. And then for some reason they always had like
Oh, like Diary of a Wimpy Kid style. But this was before Diary of a Wimpy Kid. That looks like a Mad Lib. You're right. It looks like a Mad Lib. That is it. That's true. Now, Tomato. Yeah, that was some of the characters. I mean, some of them had like crazy hair, like the head or something like that. Is that the original Pi guy? And that is the original Pi Wars character. Now, there was the Pi drones. That's the real one. This is my Pi guy.
Nice. He looks really cute, actually. I love that. He has a little gun. This was a universe in which everything was fought with pie. So, to give you a representation of how I would draw the pies. Very good. Borah, if you're missing the pies, come on, get the pies. This is the pies. Oh, is this another angle we got right here? Wow, this is awesome. It's a very fancy camera. It's like a foot long. Is it heavy? No.
Not too bad. Awesome. Uh-uh, yes, of course. What is that? I always draw him with, like, the little flared feet, you know? Yeah, and then sometimes the arms would be kind of nub at the end. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it's like this. We're giving everyone a pencil and paper except for him. I don't need it. I'm the guest. I get nothing. Here's the pie drone. This is what the pie drone looks like. Pie drone? Yeah, they would shoot the pie. Mm-hmm.
This is fun. So much lore. For our audio listeners, fuck you. Sorry. For our audio listeners, just screw you. What'd I do with it? You need to draw something. Maybe like, what if you did a little pie guy? I feel bad saying that. I feel like I'm putting you on the spot. Um. I drew a pie guy. Well, now that I've seen yours, I just want to plagiarize it. You can plagiarize my pie guy. I forget what he looks like. Yeah, the IP is in the, uh.
You remember the bad guy that looked like this? Do you remember the fucking bad guy that looked like this in every single- Yeah! Fuck, dude! So bad! In every single Flipnote Studio boss fight? Yes! He was so cool. Dude, that was the guy. And he'd just- and he'd just point, and people would just start fucking flying at the hero. Hundreds! Yeah!
He'd do the fucking- You were going so fast trying to get that representation going too. Like the little like fucking like little hand and then all the- Yes! And the camera would dig that way into the guy and- It's a stick figure with like a giant spike out of his head. He's like a unicorn man.
for, you know, love you to death audio listeners. I'm sorry. This is a very visual episode. Sometimes he would have fire. The other guy was blue. Yes. Fire versus ice. Fire versus ice was my favorite one. Oh, this is awesome. Wow. I love this. Such nostalgia. Um,
Are you here to ruin it? Yeah, I was ready to just completely change the topic, but we can stay on it. Yeah, the other thing I like to draw is I drew Pie Guy, and I drew only the head of Sonic the Hedgehog. You know who Pie Guy reminds me of? He doesn't need anything else. I didn't know how to do the rest. It all got really confusing for me. You don't need the rest. You know who Pie Guy reminds me of looking at him right now? He's kind of how I imagined in my mind Marvin.
Marvin the Magic Meatball. We did a, do you play Dungeons and Dragons? So now we figured out that this has to come out after the D&D episode. Yeah, we referred to it a lot. We're chronological. Have we really? Yeah, I think so. We did a little D&D thing I ran for them where I took them through like a sandwich dungeon and they met Marvin the Magic Meatball. Crawled out of a meat ravine and then they killed him. Brutally. Brutally. Instantly. Well, he deserved a die. Yeah. I used my fire rod.
It was actually a rod of grease. Grease. Well, that's the same thing. Yeah, I had his full character arc written as well. I crumpled it up. I love it. Yeah. Have you ever played Dungeons & Dragons before? I've played once, one session, and I was like, this seems cool. And it's kind of like the first one you have to...
Get into it. Yeah, and then that group never played ever again really? It's good that you didn't have a bad experience because it can be really good or really bad I think like I would really enjoy it I just have really bad if you I mean if you're with like sort of a weird nerd group and like no one really understands Yeah, I don't want to play D&D with nerds
Who was your guy? Yeah, that's what we do at Weigh In before anyone plays. I played, like, I don't know, three or four years ago. I don't really remember the people. Wow. Yeah, in an open-ended, like, tabletop game, it's very easy to, like, do something weird or, like, not know the rules of improv or shut other people down or, like, I'm going to kill the other player because that's what my guy would do. Yeah. So you guys are great, though. Yeah, we didn't really... Yeah, we did one part where...
where Schlatt greased me. - I greased him. - With the rod? - And then I tried to punch him and I missed, like badly. And I like slipped on the grease. - Yeah, that's funny. - So it was pretty frustrating.
But, I mean, God. If you want to with Dungeons & Dragons at any point, I've got a little thing on the side. Yeah, I'm down to play anytime. Yeah, I've got a little thing. Yeah, I'd love to play again. Are you like a, I mean, board games at all or is it pretty much all sort of video games? I'm down for anything really as long as it's fun. Cool.
Yeah. Yeah, it's good. That's good. Lots of games going on here. I'm leaving you at the drought right now, Charlie. What other games do you play? Don't salvage it. I like my favorite game series is I really like the Infamous games. It sounds familiar, but I don't think I've... The one where the guy goes around in New York, right? He goes around in Empire City. Not New York at all.
Empire City? It shoots lightning. Yeah, it's fun. How about Empire State City? Yeah, it is New York. It's New York. Yeah. But yeah, I'm also very excited for the, did you see like the new, like they're making a new Nickelodeon game? The Smash one? Yeah, the Smash one. I want CatDog to be in it. I think he's in it. Really? Yeah, he's on the box art. I'm going to main CatDog. He's like a silhouette. He's awesome. On the box art? I'm going Danny Fenton. 100%. That's a good one. I want to play Doug Dimidome.
Oh, that would be awesome. Him and his hat. Can you imagine? His down tail would just be his hat growing larger and smashing it. You stay on the side and you just go like that with the hat. Yeah, or it would be a really good down B for Doug de Mayon. His hat turning to metal and then him falling by the weight of that hat turning metal.
Well, doesn't it have to be canonical? No, it does not. It doesn't have to be canonical? Well, he's a sheriff. What do you know about Doug Dimmadone? Canonical fighting moves has fucking Doug Dimmadone's gun besides standing there and handing it to his bigger ass. Surely he's a sheriff. He's got guns. Doug Dimmadone doesn't have that much to his name. Let's be honest here. In terms of story. He should handcuff people and you can't move.
And then he wins. So he's just a police officer? Yeah. Wait, Doug Dimmadone is now a police officer? He's the sheriff. No, he's not the sheriff. I thought he was the sheriff, but he looks like both. I don't think that Doug Dimmadone is the mayor. He's the owner of the Dimmsdale Dimmadone. That's what he is. Let's not beat around the bush. He's a frivolous businessman. Yeah. He's very much so a capitalist.
Did you, speaking of CatDog as well, like was that something you- And CatDog and capitalism linked together, really two sides of the same coin. Yes. Were there any sort of cartoons or animated things that inspired you or anything you really liked growing up? Growing up, I don't know what was wrong with me, but I was inspired. Like- You did nothing? I would consume things and then-
Go about my day as if it never happened, but I liked spongebob. We all do you like forgot everything wait? Do you remember anything? Well Yes, but I think you know you got here No, no I was asking Jaden if she would should be showing up and she told us probably and to schlatt she said
I said, "See you in an hour, yo." And she said, "That's if I show up." So it seems like there's a lot of just like-- So all you do is consume and march forward. And you float. You are like a jellyfish floating through the light. That's how I got here. Wow, that's incredible. Any other YouTubers or anything you really liked growing up? As a kid, my first subscription ever was Sky Does Minecraft.
I remember it like it was seven years ago. It was. More or less, yes. And then I just...
Consumed. Consumed. And I have not stopped since. So one thing you might still have fresh in your brain is all the word hunt games that I've totally kicked your ass at over and over again. Well, I've won like 5% of the time I win. That's true. I'm not going to mention the darts or the archery. But I mean, is there any like shame that comes with losing the word hunt games?
No, I feel nothing when I lose and everything when I win. I guess that's a good mindset. We're talking about the game pigeon games, you know, the iPhone. I'm aware. I'm just listening. Have you heard of Apple at all? Do you know phones? Apple food. Apple food. Not phone. Steve Jobs' chef. So what are you? Joe Biden. Nothing. Joe Biden wake up. That's good. Apple food. Apple food.
Sorry. I'm sorry. And we're so happy to have you here on the podcast, Jen. We should say that after every question. Holy shit. Why did you do that? I've been sipping it. She's metal as shit, dude. I kind of didn't really notice it because she's drinking. No, it felt normal. Well, the first sip that she took was super normal, too. You do feel normal. It's just no shame. I don't like emotions.
Is that a true statement or are you just saying that? It's more true than you think. I'm going to therapy. That's good. Yeah, I just started going recently. Everyone in the world should go to therapy. I agree with that. Yeah, 100%. It's one of those things where there's actually a lot of like my sort of parents have the philosophy. It's like sort of a, ah, ah, ah.
You know? Yeah. No, you can't say you know after that because we don't. It's a general like, yeah, maybe, but they have no intention. Maybe what? I'm not weak enough to go to therapy. I'm not crumbling yet. When in reality, to me, it's like working on a muscle. Yeah, it's keeping it up. Yeah, it's keeping yourself mentally healthy and it's really important. So, yeah, it's good. Good stuff. Yeah. Do you have mental abs?
Mental abs? Do you do mental crunches? What is a mental crunch? I don't know. How many can you do? Probably a lot, but I like the definition. I think it would be epic if you had mental abs. You know why?
Why? Because it prevents you from... It prevents you... It lets you resist what they call the mental freeze, unless Charlie just made that reference. The mental freeze? Yeah, it lets you resist what people call the mental freeze. What is that? That's when you roll down in the deep. And your brain gets numb? You could probably call that... I walked into that one. Hey, Charlie...
You're not? Sorry. Hey, Ian. What's up? Oh my god. What do you think I'm going to ask you? Hey, Ian. I really don't know. Ian, what do you know about rolling down in the deep? Can we just... Can you tell us... More Jaden facts. Can you bring us some Jaden facts? Just throw us some Jaden facts. Please say them in an incriminating way as well. We didn't do the research beforehand. I mean, we've got no idea. We're freaking out. Who this person is. Okay. And really, I just want to promise you, this is all I have to pull from. Say it like it's a problem.
5'6". She's 5'6". 5'6"? No. Is that really true? No. I promise I'm 5'7". Yeah, you actually, I mean. Yeah, no, I'm like, I'm 6'7". No, you're not. Exactly. Yeah, I'm like 5'100". You lied to me. I didn't lie to you.
I'm just a question for you. I know you. How do you feel about every other content creator being absolutely massive for no perceivable reason? Is this something only I've seen, but everyone is so goddamn tall, but only in this job? People are either really tall or really short. That's fair. I'm not impressed by tall people.
- Damn. - It doesn't matter, anything about their personality. - Well, I think that that's a good point. I don't think that tall people should be impressed by the virtue of their height alone. - Yeah, you would feel that way. - But are you also saying that any tall person, because they're tall, you will go out of your way to not be impressed by them?
Oh, you're not all bad. Oh, you won an Olympic medal. I write off anyone that's taller than me. Oh, you're over 6'4"? I get it. You're above that. How's the weather up there? The entire NBA? Fuck them. I hate basketball because they're tall. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, basketball. Am I short or tall?
Stand up. No, you have to tell him. Oh, I don't know. No, no, no. You've seen me. Do you even know? You've seen me. No, I don't. I don't know. How tall am I? 6'1". Awesome.
How tall are you? Not that. Shorter? Taller? He's in the fives. He's in the fives. How tall do you think I am? I thought you were like 5'10 or 5'11. Okay. I'll say 5'10. 5'10? Jesus Christ. You 5'8? 5'7? 5'6? Are you fucking 4'11?
One thing is I was definitely supposed to be really short. My whole family, like my grandpa's 4'11". I have the same. My other family is all Japanese. They're teeny tiny. And then I'm taller than both my parents. I had the same situation where I did all right in the long run. Are both of your parents really small? They're like both a little shorter than me. I'm like 5'11". I don't understand why. There's always a conversation I feel like that comes up where people are like,
I'm not the height I was supposed to be. But in reality, you always end up being the height you're supposed to be. Oh, wow. That sounds very Calvinist of you, Ted. What is free will? I don't know. I'll see you in hell, buddy. Go pray to Martin Luther, why don't you? Okay, bud?
How tall is Martin Luther Jr.? Where the hell is you? I need you to fact check. How tall is Martin Luther King? Where did you? We're not talking about. We're talking about Martin Luther. He started pulling out self-determination and shit all of a sudden. Well, I need to know that too. Calvinist. How tall is God?
God is omniscient and omnipresent and omnibenevolent. Martin Luther King Jr. was 5'7". We never talked. I'm Martin Luther King Jr. Yes! Yes! Congratulations to Jaden. I'm finally the person I was intended to be. What a weird thing to say. I'm Martin Luther King Jr. I'm 5'7". I'm a hero. I'm a hero.
If it was any taller, you wouldn't be too impressed by it. Can you look up vicious dictators that are 5'7 real quick? Isn't Santa Claus 5'7 too? I also found out that Jaden is allergic to cats and vegan. Actually, I'm... You're allergic to vegans? I'm not...
You're a cat? I'm not allergic to cats anymore. That fact is also incorrect. They've all been wrong so far. Really? Wait, what do you mean anymore? I decided not to be anymore. Well, it's like allergies can switch over like every, what is it, seven years in?
I used to like my best friend as a kid always had cats. Ian look it up. How is Ian supposed to search when do allergies switch? That's his, that's his, that's his assertive. Your snails can kill the fossils. Do you want some snail facts? Okay, so here's the thing. I've actually done a little bit of research. Vladimir Putin's 5'7". Oh. Whoa. Hey, you're Russian. Hey Jayden, you want to bounce off of that?
Well, here's the thing. The point of having Ian there is to give him ridiculous standards on getting information as fast as possible. It's not like I actually expect him to give me the information within two seconds. Although he has been doing a really good job of predicting when I'm about to ask him a question, which has kind of been scary. So, Jaden, did you know snails, right? Yeah.
What they can do is they can go into their shell and create what's called an epiphram using the mucus of their bodies. They can do some species, even several layers of it. And the more epiphram you have, the more able the snail is to weather cold or sort of drastic temperature shifts. Oh, my God. So he's like sewing himself a coat. He does, yeah. But the thing with snails as well that is more interesting about that
is that they can preserve themselves over long periods of time. So for instance, a snail that, you know, this is sort of a fun thing to imagine. Imagine a big sort of glacial shift, right? And the poor snail's crawling away. Glacier gets too close. Snail starts to get cold. Of course. It creates an epiphram for itself. The glacier washes over that snail. That snail can exist for up to four years encased in that ice and then one day just decide, oh, I'm gonna come.
I'm going to come out now and I'm going to be alive. Like break himself out of the ice? Well, I think the ice would probably have to melt. He used to think that snails would become fossils and then not. And in a way, it's not super false because the shell is a calcium carbonate that the snail creates. So they're living forever. Schlett's sickum. In a way, snails are closer to immortality than we can be. It's less of a hibernation and more of almost a snail stasis. Well, four years is not immortal. How long do snails normally live for?
Fuck. Ian? You got this? You know there's a jellyfish that's immortal functionally? Mmm. Ian. Tell me. Two to three years. Two to three years. That would be a doubling, if not tripling. That's almost a hamster. Of their lifespan. But some of the bigger ones can live up to ten years. Oh. Whoa. That's a dog.
- That's a dog, it's a snail. - That's a dog. A snail is a dog. - A snail is a dog and a hamster. - Sometimes a hamster, but sometimes a dog. - If you had to choose, so you're a bird person. If you had to choose, you could have one bird and it could be any bird in the world, but it can't be the birds you currently have. - Absolutely a falcon.
Really? A falcon. Would you have like the glove and everything? Yeah. I've had that answer for the past 10 years. Why haven't you observed that option?
Because I don't have time. This'll fucking kill you Ted. A falcon will squeeze your head and it will make holes in your skull. Absolutely could. What if it has its hat on? If it has its little tiny hat on- Then he'll kind of swish the air. He'll look, he'll feel around and then grab onto anything. The falconer's glove is total bullshit. It's just like, it's like the TSA.
It's like security theater. It's there to make you feel safe, but in reality, it does nothing. Someone's coming out with a bomb. That shit's blowing up. Saves you some scratches, though. No, but if a falcon wanted to, it could totally just take your arm with it. That's fair. Yeah.
What? Yeah. Have you seen, hey, Ian, how big is a falcon? What if I have a falcon glove made of metal? No. You think a falcon can rip through metal? It'll get sweaty in there. It's not a velociraptor. Ian, search up the PSI of a falcon grab and then a human grab. I'm also getting the talon size. Yeah. I will say. Ian has a queue of things. I will say one other thing that I found. The fastest recorded speed of a falcon has been 240 kilometers.
That's awesome. While diving, I'm going straight down. Give me a break.
I will say... Humans have gone that fast while diving. You're going to go up and straight down if there's a falcon coming at you. Someone tweeted at me, and they said, hey, I saw you like birds, and that made me realize I like birds, so I became a falconer. Whoa. And I was like... That's fucking awesome. That's the best thing ever. So, I don't know what they're doing. There was a tweet three years ago, but... Probably still... Hopefully still being a falconer. Hopefully. Yeah. So, if...
Do you think and this is a little silly? That was funny you're right it is I was gonna ask you if you can like train a falcon until I kill people or some Here's what you do oh god, what why do you know the
Here's the steps. Jaden, Jaden. This is gonna be absolute fucking nonsense, man. No, you get a tiny little finch bird, tiny little baby finch, tie it up around its neck. Can't breathe anymore. Oh, you're just talking about what Maya does. Get a little whistle. Yeah, this is what Maya does. I've watched one of these streams before. You don't need a whistle to tell us what... Get a little scarecrow, right? A scarecrow. The finch lands at the foot of the scarecrow, blow the whistle, bird flies over, attacks that shit.
Dead scarecrow. I've never seen someone struggle to whistle as much as you. I actually have a hard time. It's all in the technique. I can't whistle. You guys... It's probably a really good idea. I can do the bird one. The owl one? Oh, that's good. Wait, how do you do that? I don't know. You blow on your knuckles. That's not right. That's a...
That was just so aggressive, so you were like, I can do that. I'm gonna invent something that lets you do that. Anyways, you blow the whistle enough, the falcon is trained now. I go towards the humanoid figure, hear the whistle, go towards it, attack it. Stop, you're just blowing.
All of a sudden, you bring that falcon into Game Grumps Studio, take the little hat off it, blow the whistle, you're having a fun time. What would you do if we brought a falcon into Game Grumps Studio and let it just start flying through? I don't know. Go for it, man. He says go for it. Go for it. That'd be a train of falcon to fucking go when you make a little sound. I mean, we're all Ladyhawk fans here. Go for it.
You totally could. My cat loves gorilla noises because I set up his automatic feeder to make them. Well, you actually haven't told one of the food. You haven't said the new update. There is a new update to it. To the cat feeder? Right, yes. So the cat feeder is automatic. It feeds him three or four times a day every time the food comes out. It makes it...
Did you record it or did you like- Oh, I recorded it. I had to hold the button and do it right into the little finger. Oh, gotcha. I was laying completely on my ass just like. Nice. You made that noise? Yes. That was really good. And now the cat, and now whenever you do it, he always is like, what, huh? He comes right over. Really? Mm-hmm. And now- And now he has started unplugging it.
Because it rocks a little bit. So he goes to the little, it's plugged in with like a USB little power brick. Yeah. He goes with it, rips it out of the socket. The machine wobbles a little bit and like two pieces of kibble fly out. He's like, that's worth it. So basically, yes. It's like the Brave New World book by L. Deuce Huxley. You know that book, right? I don't. Soma Soma Orgy Porgy. They eat the soma.
And now they have an instant gratification instead of waiting and doing the things that the barbarian does outside. It's like the fish or the train, the fish. Exactly. And so the cat now sacrifices long-term happiness for...
I.e. the machine continuing to work for the rest of his life. For two tiny pieces of kibble that come out when he unplugs it and just completely kills his food supply for the rest of his life. I think it's about the control. Well, he does it because you keep plugging it back in. Well, I keep plugging it back in, so who's the real sucker? So that's free food. Who's the real sucker? Exactly. It's also funny, too, because one of the things that Schlapp pointed out when he got this automatic feeder for Jambo was...
He was like, oh, you know, that's my, this is my Schlatt impression. Oh, you know, if I were to kick the bucket, if I were to kick the bucket, Jembo could live for maybe three, four months. Where am I from? What is your heritage? He could. No, he could not. No, he could not. If I kicked the bucket, he'd eat me. No, he's...
He would die. He would eat me. No first year remember that old lady that died sounds sad He just need to make a gorilla noises when you die, and then he'll like come over to you No, but like let's say On my deathbed live on buddy, but he would he would eat you okay, so how long I don't know how long a schlatt
Nibble would you know I mean a schlittle a schlittle I mean it's not like he's gonna cut you up and like start putting you covering you in your meat and salt and stuff so you stay good longer I mean he doesn't really understand you know that's one of the ways that they preserve salt or meat when they brought it overseas and stuff and ships they were covered in salt Ian how long do human bodies last
How do- When dead? Well, they get bloated very fast because the gases fill up them. And the rigor mortis. You would know. What? Yeah. Rigor mortis. That's a fun one. Jambo wouldn't care. Jambo's got shit to do. Rigor mortis. Season five just came out, I think. Is that a- Oh. You okay? Yep. 24 to 72 hours.
That's how long it lasts? It starts decomposing? Yeah. How long does it take to decompose? Three to five days. How long does it take a cat to eat? Like completely? Exactly. That was my question. Yeah, exactly.
There's nothing there but bones after five days? No. Well, surely there's like goo on the floor? What do you mean someone turns to bones? It's at 24 to 72 hours the internal organs decompose. Okay. That's me. So gooey and stuff. He's not like, yeah, I knew that. Yeah, I've seen it. There was this lady, this story of a lady, an old lady, old cat lady like you. Little cat lady. Who died and then the cats ate her.
And subsisted off of that so no one knew she was dead for a long time. You say like you like it's a fucking cautionary tale. And she was just bones. This is an old wives tale. They just found the bones. There was nothing left. And no one knew she had died. The TV was still on. Have your birds tasted blood? Oh, yeah. Really? They bite me all the time. Oh. That's just hilarious. We talked about this. Sherry said that they bite her all the time. Yeah, I know. But it's like, I don't think that...
One of them draws blood or can draw blood. One of them comes up to you, gets like... You made it sound like it was a nurse. One of them draws blood.
The other gives me the shot. Do they do it to, is it like one of those things where they're very tactile with their beaks or are they just fuckers? Sometimes, well, Ari's the one that's like a big man. He kind of gets angry sometimes. So if I'm like, all right, time to go to bed, he'll kind of hunker down and you have to like step up. You put the birds to bed? Yeah, because they have to go to sleep. In a cage.
Yes. So you let them out most of the time. Most of the time they're just chilling around? Yeah, I have like a separate office. I have a separate office space in my backyard that's supposed to be like a guest house for old grandpas. That's literally exactly like Alpharetta.
- Yeah, but his is a pool house, mine's an actual, like it's got a kitchen. - Oh. - So I put them in there. - That's so interesting though. - And then I leave. - The parallels. - I recently, just a couple months ago, got a couple of guinea pigs. - Guinea pigs. - They're great, it's Fern and Mochi. - Oh, that's cute. - I know, I miss 'em right now. But they've picked up a couple things. They know when the lettuce drawer, they know the drawer-- - The lettuce drawer. - With the lettuce in it. They'll just start screaming, bloody murder. - Really, what does it sound like?
So you've set me up in an interesting position here because now I'm going to try and make a guinea pig noise, I guess? Yeah. It's like a... Well, you could ask Ian to make a guinea pig noise. Well, we want yours first and then maybe YouTube video second. One month after death, your body liquefies. What the fuck?
That's fair. Oh, that was awesome because we weren't talking about that anymore. No, we were talking about something so cute. Oh, that was awesome. Circling back around. One month after death, your body liquefies. How it's made. Liquid body? Liquid body. How it ends. How it ends. Living flesh.
Over metal endoskeleton. Have you heard of the living flesh over metal endoskeleton? No. Biocock. What? That's just not true. Biocock was not even mentioned in Terminator. Do you want to talk about Biocock? No. Oh, is it a Terminator thing? They never mention a Biocock once in Terminator? No, they don't. They show it once at the beginning of T1 when he spawns completely naked and starts walking towards those punks. He spawns? Yeah. I don't know why that's so funny. Yeah, he comes through a portal, a time portal. I suppose that's spawning. He spawns. Do you have a favorite movie?
I don't really watch movies. Oh my God. What do you do? Like, I don't know. I haven't been on the internet. I don't watch movies. Oh, let's talk about that. Why? Which color is the wall that you stare at? Yeah. Actually, that did bring up a good question. You haven't been on the internet for a month? Mm-hmm. Oh my God. What have you been doing?
What have you been up to? Well, I'll watch YouTube videos. That's the internet, but I won't go on social media or anything else or Netflix or anything. Not even Netflix?
I don't really watch shows either. What inspired that choice? I was really overwhelmed in life and I was like, I'm a really alone person so when I'm overwhelmed I need to be alone and everything was too much so I was like, alright friends, I'm not going to talk to anyone, I'm not going to use any screens at all, I'm just going to sit in my house for a week and then...
That happened, it was like, that was really nice. - Was that your just time to recharge? - Yeah, yeah, I did a lot of like journaling and writing and stuff. And then when I came out, once you're behind on Twitter, I'm like, I'm not gonna open that back up again. So I haven't been on that and it's been awesome. - It's a good play. - It's been great. - I didn't start using Twitter until like three years ago. - Really? - Yeah, or maybe like two and a half. - And you were so cool before then.
What happened? You were so okay. You were so okay. Jeberde. Jeberde. Jeberde. I was a bit cringe back then. We were all, well, I don't know about you. Jaden, were you? Never. You weren't cringe? Jaden was always based. I was always awesome.
We need to ask that to all the guests we need to say. Are you cringe or cringe? When do you think you were the most cringe? Definitely starting out my career. Probably stopped three years ago. Three years ago? Do you think that next year that number will be the same or it'll be four years? It's probably always going to be three years. Okay. Every three years. Eventually this will be cringe. You being here will be cringe?
We'll see you in three years. Jaden, are we cringe? Not right now. Ask me in three years. I do like, I don't like it, but I will often watch my old videos and be like, oh, that was cringe. Yeah. That was cringe. I think that's YouTube. I have a hard time.
But I mean that's good though. Yeah, it's good because it shows that you're progressing and you know you've matured a bit Ian has just showed us a picture of a decomposing corpse Wow Thanks for doing that Ian the first hour Wow, that's that's incredible Wow wait Jambo Jambo's Is that Schlatt? That's you Schlatt. Is that my dead body decomposed? Are you ready to move on?
Your insights are liquidating. Metal, metal, flesh. Living flesh over metal. Metal, metal, skeleton.
I don't know what that is. It's just like a living flesh. It's something he's been saying for quite literally six days. It's a line in T2, Judgment Day, which is my favorite movie of all time. Arnold Schwarzenegger, who is a Terminator 2. He's a T200. Maybe he's a T100. He's a T100. And the T1000 is the liquidy guy. I don't know if you've seen the movie. You've probably haven't seen the movie. Any movie you can name, I haven't seen it. What?
Except for The Matrix. Elf. No. You haven't seen Elf? With Will Ferrell? That's literally the only movie. That's the only movie. It's the only movie. Have you seen? Land Before Time. You're a kid. Have you seen Cars? Isn't that a show? Land Before Time is like a dinosaur movie. Oh, Toy Story. The first one? Yeah. Yeah, I watched that. Boom. Nice. We got him, boys. Very good. Very good. She's seen a movie. There we go. You proved me wrong. You did good.
That's good. I've also seen that one. Have you seen Toy Story? Yeah. Did you ever have a toy when you were a kid?
I had a stuffed rat. What was his name? Raul. Raul? Raul the rat? Was that your first stuffed animal? It wasn't my first, but I loved that thing. I still have it. It's in my house. Raul the rat is a fucking metal name. I had a Webkinz. Oh, which one? I had the polar bear one. He's the best one. I called mine Ski Bear. Ski Bear. That's great. Yeah, because I'd play Polar Plunge. Oh.
Oh, that's also the best game. Yeah, you go down with the ski bear. That's pretty favorite puppy. He's skiing. That's pretty favorite puppy. You go get your mines and then you go pull a bear sledding. Yeah, exactly. You go to the curio shop. Welcome to the curio shop. Holy shit. Hope you find what you're looking for. That's so good. Congratulations. Looks like you found yourself a gem. You can keep that gem for your collection and try for that legendary crown of wonder. Or I could buy it from you if you like.
Let me see what I can offer. I see these gems all the time. Then you sell it. Yeah. And you spin the wheel of wow. Yeah, the two daily things. The wheel of wow. Did you voice Webkinz? Yeah. Then you watch some Chef Gazpacho. Gazpacho. Chef Gazpacho. I like that word. Ted had an animal. Yeah, when I was a kid, I had a beanie baby.
and I named it Favorite Puppy. - What animal was it? - It was a beagle. - It was a beagle. It was a beagle, and I named it Favorite Puppy because it was my favorite puppy. - You didn't like to turn it around with a vice grip around its head. - It was my favorite of all puppies, of which their then forth, henceforth,
Deserved the name favorite puppy. Was there any other favorites? Oh, no.
It can only really be one. So what we like to do here on the podcast, for instance, is I would go so far as to say, as you as a guest, that's been favorite puppy. Yeah? Really? That's been favorite puppy. Yeah, this was a favorite puppy episode. Really? Why? Because I get to relive Webkinz. True, and hit Flipnote. Flipnote, Hatena. Those are two good memories I have. Did you say you don't remember anything that we just did in the episode? No. Okay.
I'm getting worried. This is actually more of a concern. And you haven't even finished that jellyfish that you studied. Oh, I was supposed to draw a pie. Oh, it was a pie. Oh, yeah. That's all you wanted to do? Well, you told me to draw a pie. I know. It's been sitting like that for like... Why did you turn in? Of course. Of course. You made it unhappy. A real anime. He's more like half and half. I mean, he's... Look, he's blushing. Oh.
He's a little bashful. He's a little bastard that's bashful. Bashful pie. All right, I can put that down now. What is something that you can't stand drawing? Like people have, you know, hands is like the classic. I'm just wondering. I don't know. I don't really draw anything but myself. Like that's kind of. What an ego. Yeah. I don't know. I don't think there's anything that I dislike drawing.
I'm a Ram because I used to be into Castle Crashers. And one of the power-ups was a little guy called Rami. Yeah.
Oh, that's cute. That's where it comes from? Yeah, dude. That's so funny. I played through all of Castle Crashers with Shay very recently, and I was using Rammy the whole time. Yeah. Yeah. And my profile picture was just Rammy for the longest time. And then once I started growing, I was like, eh, copyright. Copyright issues. Yeah. Can I look it up? I want to see it. Yeah, of course. It's like those cute little balls as well. And so, yeah, I had an artist redo it.
Kind of like its own thing, but still in the vein of a ram. That's adorable. Yeah, he is adorable. He's perfect for a profile photo. Yeah, he's round and everything. Yeah, no, that makes perfect sense. That's where he comes from. The first thing on here is Schlatt fan art. Really? Whoa, shit. That's awesome. Let me see.
Have you talked about this in the past? Yeah. Oh. I haven't heard this before. I thought this was breaking news. No, this is not breaking news. When was the last time you talked about this and where? Can we delete that? Probably on this podcast I probably talked about it. What? Yeah. Or maybe on Sleep Deprived or something. Oh, maybe Sleep Deprived. Where does the name Jaden come from? Yeah. My mom. What's up with that? I like my name, actually. No one else has it. I wasn't saying it was a bad name. I haven't met anyone else named Jaden.
I've met two Jadens and they've both been boys, so I still reign supreme. Are they still around? I know a Jaden. I don't know. One was in karate class when I was eight. Hit him a little too hard. Never came back. I know another Jaden. He was a Marine. Oh. I know a Jaden. Shout out Jaden Tippetts. I know a Jaden who raps. Jaden Smith? Yeah. Jaden Smith. Jaden Smith.
Will Smith's son. Then there's a Willow Smith. Oh, really? That was her. Their whole family is so... All their names are just together. Yeah. Very talented crew. But recently, Jaden Smith is now just Jaden. Willow Smith is...
Well, he doesn't have the I in his name, so I'm still good. That's true. Oh, are they not trying to be associated with their father? I guess not. There's a lot of Smiths. A lot of Smiths. It's kind of generic. Jaden Smith, you don't even know who you're talking about. But Jaden, I know that guy. He raps. They also change up their style a lot, too. They're both doing indie...
That's fair. I think. It's good to do a bunch of different stuff. Do you have, please, do you have a music that you like?
Please? I really don't listen to music. You don't listen to music? No, it's fine. I don't know why I asked. You don't listen to music? What do you do? Do you read? Do you like a booze? No, I don't read. You just said you were reading and writing, and now we asked you if you were reading, and you say I don't read. I said I journaled during my alone week. Is it like bullet journaling? It's like emotional stress journaling. Oh, okay.
Do you like white noise when you sleep? No. I listen to Mario Maker. Do you sleep? You listen to Mario Maker? You listen to Mario Maker to go to bed? Mm-hmm. That's cool. What games do you play? What video games do you play? Name them. What do I play? I do play video games. Do you play Mario Maker?
Or do you just put it on exclusively to listen to as a noisemaker in the background? I don't really play it. No, that's cool. I played Hyper Light Drifter for like a couple minutes and it wasn't my thing, but the soundtrack is just so fucking good that I just listen to that shit. Sayonara Wild Hearts is another one I played. It's like an indie game that's an album experience and you play through each individual song. So cool. I recommend it. No, I don't think you do. No, I do. It's good. I'm sorry. Um...
Okay, so you don't play I knew you're gonna ask me this and I really don't know what I do I think I just work all the time. I think that's what I do Wake up at 11 a.m. And then something happens Can you play smash
Um, not really, but I enjoy it. I'll play with friends and stuff. I don't play it by myself. But yeah, I'll wake up, two hours will pass, I don't know what happens, and then I go to work.
And then forever? Forever. I'm very ahead right now. I've got the rest of the year of videos planned. Oh my gosh. Well, what are you going to do with all that free time? That was what I wanted to do is I wanted to get ahead and then have...
x amount of months where i can just do whatever i want so what kind of things are you going to enjoy that's what i'm going to figure out all right well come back next time when you're doing when the when the light is back i'll come back with progress nice that is a really cool well i think i have the luxury to do that because the videos if i think of like six videos then that's half a year at minimum
Same. Oh, that's great. Me. Me also. Oh, how long does a video take to make for you? I'm very curious. A month and a half. Pretty much on the dot? Pretty much, yeah. Of like solid work. Man, Ian, I really have no fucking excuse, do I? No. No. I talk to him all the time about just like getting that shit together. And he's like, just do it. I'm like, I know. What is like the main problem?
It's Ted. Just, I think it's a part of HD, it's very hard to consistently create your own motivation, is what I have read or heard online, I guess. What do you do instead of working? Oh, a lot of, I've been, I've,
I usually go through a phase every now and then. Right now, my phase is playing Smash. Super Smash Bros. Sometimes it's like I'm going to be...
Really muscular I've decided and that it'll that'll happen for like it. You know three muscular is a hobby You know it's like there's certain interests. I'll just hit you for a little bit Imagine if I just like got some I don't know how steroids work in this are probably wrong But what if I just was like I ate the sandwich in Castle Crashers? Oh? He just got big
I think steroids just make your muscles recover faster. So you still have to do the work. If you don't work out and you still have to do the work? You still have to do the work, yeah. So why do steroids mess you up as much as it does? Because it's extra testosterone. And too much of that, you become too manly. And what the liberal media does is they tell you it's not okay. Ian?
- I'm on it. - Tell me why there was that one episode of Family Guy where Stewie got on steroids and then he started flying around like everywhere. - Right, because it's making you produce more, I think, so you make more fat and loose skin and stuff is why. - Loose skin? - Something like that. - Oh, that would suck. - That's why I think, I've seen the episode you're talking about for some reason. - I feel like everyone's seen that episode for some reason. - Jacked and then all the muscles go away and he's all skinny and he's like a flying squirrel. - That's why your balls get smaller.
When you do... Relatable. Yeah, your nuts shrink. Why do your nuts shrink? You lose skin. Steroids. Why are you losing skin, Shly? Why are your nuts shrinking? Steroids. I'm not talking about my nuts. You're doing steroids? No, I'm not talking about my nuts. My nuts are supple. Holy crap. I'm losing my mind right now.
Yeah, don't do steroids is really... I've been on steroids before. Do you have an answer for us? I had hives. I had to figure out this very complicated medical thing in mere moments. Look up steroids bad. Steroids bad what? I'm confused here. Why should I care about that? I mean, I need an answer here. I'm sorry. Destroys your heart. Oh, it destroys your heart? Destroys your heart is what our producers say. Muscle.
Oh, shit. The heart is a muscle. Borf said the heart is a muscle. And do we need that? At least some of it, surely. What do you believe the most, Jaden? Huh? Do you believe in God? That's a loaded question. Do you believe in yourself? I believe...
And that's a loaded gun. That was divine intervention by the way. Is there anything in there? No, I don't think so. Yeah, Jesus. Shlatt, that was ridiculous. Holy shit. It exploded.
Wow. I think I believe in God now. Do you believe in God? Gun explodes. Is that an airsoft gun at church? I think. Where the hell did you get the airsoft gun? In the Game Gump's office. You just destroyed a piece of Game Gump's property. I did. It was on a shelf, too. Like, it meant something. The Grump Rump. This actually has a small metal, like, pellet in it.
It does? Yeah, isn't that funny? Oh, so I almost loaded it and shot you. And I like willingly looked down the barrel. Holy shit. Dude, you almost blinded an animator. So that was on the shelf along with all like a bunch of memorabilia. Oh, fuck. God. Wow. Hey, Boroff, get that out of here.
There's other pieces. Borif will take care of it. It's kind of heavy. This is like heavy. This is heavy. This is made of metal, kind of. You gave it to me. You poured it. I was under the...
Chug, chug, chug. Enough sips. Come on. No, it tastes like classics. Chug, chug, chug. I sipped this thing. Chug, chug, chug. Someone else has got to check it. Thick, thick, thick, thick, thick. Ted, come on, Ted. Go ahead. No. No, I'm not going to chug it again. What would it be like to waterfall that? Probably pretty scary.
I feel like it's probably easier because you can kind of follow it. Oh my god, you're right. Yeah, it's like a syrup. Yeah, you can kind of just let it glide down. I can't believe how much bubbles are in it. That's what I did. That's what I did. I let it glide down my throat. Freaking awesome, man. Isn't that the purpose? I didn't get it to my mouth. You don't swallow it, you let it glide. I let it glide down my throat. And by the way, all of this, that's what she said.
What? To what? Sorry. I said all of this conversation about letting shit glide down your throat. That's what she said. Oh. Oh. Very good. Very good. Very good. Very good. Very good. Oh, it's, it's, it's the end of the podcast. Jaden, we want to thank you for coming on this podcast. Thanks for having me. This was wild. This was a thick, this was a thick pod. The thickest one. This was a thick pod. A big one.
But before we let you go, would you like we got to do the Sean Evans thing?
Jaden, we're gonna roll out the red carpet for you. Camera there, this camera there, this camera there. Go ahead and look at this camera, Jaden. What are you working on right now? Tell everyone what you got going on in your life. Nothing. Nothing. Wow. And that's true. You don't want to promote anything? Where can people find you to see all your nothing? Nowhere. People can't find you anywhere. I'm not here. Oh my goodness. No, seriously, where can people find you, your stuff?
search up Jaden Animations. Look up Jaden Animations. That's it. Yeah. If you don't already know who this person is. Any message, anything you're passionate, dare I say, about that you wanted to say to the people watching this at home? Just give us like some sort of statement, some sort of sweeping message.
declaration of maybe opinion fact fiction something maybe a lot of people would disagree with history future or maybe a lot of people would agree with something you know you feel nah I got nothing awesome