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Mom, Dad, I humbly suggest you save some money and shop Amazon for back to school. It's for my growth, meaning my body's growing at an alarming rate. And clothes you buy me this year will be very small very soon. Plus, the clothes I love today will be out of style tomorrow. But at least your wallet doesn't have to be my fashion victim.
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What am I looking at right now? What do you mean? You look like a YouTuber with 10 subscribers. Excuse me. What? You may have noticed that I'm in a different location right now. I'm in... You are. I'm in Greenville, North Carolina right now. Okay. Yeah. Who are you visiting? Well, Greenville, North Carolina, it's the home of Mr. Beast. Oh. I'm not visiting Mr. Beast, though. What else is there? My buddy, he works at Mr. Beast.
He's like an employee there. So you are visiting Mr. Beast. I'm visiting Mr. Beast land. I'm visiting the area in which he roams. He runs this city. He does. As far as I can tell, he's the only thing worth going to that hellscape for. He does. And I'll admit, we were driving through town square and I was not really surprised when I saw a statue erected in his honor.
in the town square of him like jerking off too no just like hanging over the townsfolk no like that picture of him at the gas station it's him where he's holding the camera down and he's pulling his like pulling his waistband down a little bit and you see some of that pipe
You see some of that side pipe? No, it's a statue of him standing upon a large pile of money. And it's just in Beast We Trust written on a plaque down below. Dripping. No. Dripping. No, no dripping. Down his face, down his arms and extremities. No, absolutely. Right all over me. Right all over me.
just stand under it. I will tell you one thing though, Schlatt, because I checked out their headquarters and there's a large, you've seen it before, there's a large wall and it's got all of the plaques from the years and many channels that Mr. Beast has. And there is a,
one area on the wall and it's just an empty sort of shadow of where a diamond play button used to be with a big note next to it that says, find him. I walked through some of the meeting rooms. It's like there are whole whiteboards just dedicated to triangulating your location. You should be afraid. You know, he can just DM me.
And I would give it back to him. Welcome to Chuckle Sandwich. Welcome everyone to another episode of Chuckle Sandwich. Oh, another day, another dollar. Another day, another dollar. Another, another grimbly. Another bright red racing chair. Another bright, yeah, this is actually a towel. What the hell is going on? This is like a cardigan.
Draped over the seat so you can't see the logo? Yeah. Oh, yeah. No, we can't have that. We can't have logos on here. We've got our money to make. Yeah, and then there's a painting up here of it's a cow, and then it's like a guy saying to the cow, fuck you. And then another character saying, your ass is grass. And then there's a display here of the cow eating that dude's ass out.
And this is the producer for Mr. Beast? This is his office? No, this is another person who works at Beast. I was journeying around the town of Greenville trying to find a setup that would work. Surprisingly low setup count for a place that houses one of the biggest YouTubers, which was a bit shocking to me, but I managed to get one. Well, you did it. Yeah.
It's a little concerning who would put that up on their wall. You know, it's a bit avant-garde. That's what I'll say. It's avant-garde. It's beautiful, really. It sort of tells a story in three parts and a bit of a confusing story nonetheless, but
Yeah, it's like an upcoming art hub, you know, when all the young people start moving in and start gentrifying. Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, this is something you'd see at a gallery nearby where it's like movements through insanity. And then that's like the headline right there. That's Nicki Minaj. That's Lady Gaga right there. Yeah, but...
I don't know. How are you guys doing? What's new? Oh, well, we got Tucker back. I'm back. Oh, hey, welcome. You guys abandoned me. Was actually starting to miss you. Yeah. That's crazy. We've reached a really good spot then.
Yeah, we've sort of gained a little bit of love for Tucker. At least Schlatt has. Schlatt, do you miss him now? You miss him like a son? Oh, I don't miss him now. He's standing right in front of me. You want to know why he misses him? Because every time he shows up to the call, I compliment something about his appearance. And he didn't get that last week. He might not know that I do that, but I do it every time, and I think it's subconsciously imprinted on him. You're Pavlovian training Schlatt to...
When I wasn't there, he was probably like, man, what the fuck? Why don't I feel attractive today? If you don't give him a compliment next week, that's going to end the call. He'll be like, Tucker's really mean to me today.
He was an asshole today. But I don't know why. I don't know what he said. Well, dude, I take the compliments in stride. They do really gas me up. I put on my corduroy again. The cord is out. The hat is off.
The suave hair is banging. Yeah, it's just too long. I got to get it cut. Yeah. It's fun. Do you have a specific barber you go to and then feel the regret if they're not available and you try someone else and it never properly works out? I feel regret regardless of who I go to. What does that mean? You know where you have something that's like it's not good, but you keep doing it because you know...
At least at a baseline, what to expect. Yeah. So why don't you just try to find like a good bar? It could be worse. Who knows? You're just, you're just, you're just accepting the bare minute. Well, Tucker, your situation is a little bit different. You've got like that one guy that's been working for like a thousand years or something. Every time I've ever gotten a haircut in my life, I usually walk out of there like this could have been better.
There's not too much to work with though when it comes to your haircut. There's a lot to work with! No, there isn't. You've got like a little tiny baby spike. You look like a baby rhinoceros. Yeah, I don't know. I'll take suggestions.
Somebody sends me suggestions. Yeah, down in the comments, give us your suggestions on Tucker's new hair. I feel like people are going to tell you to grow it out, though, and just have, like, I feel like if we really worked on it this year, we could have Tucker just have, like, full beard Jesus cut. And, like, it would become sort of a mythical figure. Yeah. The whole comment section is just going to say, Tucker needs a low taper fade. Tucker needs a low taper fade. That's what everyone's going to say. Yeah.
What is a low taper? I don't know. I don't know. I've been seeing it all over online. Starting to mention hair once and then it's just low taper fade as if it means something to me. I feel like I'm just getting a little too old to understand the origins of these. Oh, well, Tucker's got it up on screen here right now. I don't know if I can pull that off. I think you.
No, you're right. Low taper fade. Yeah, you can't. That's such a crisp sort of line there. I get a fade like this every time. That has to go bad after like two days. Oh, yeah. I feel like they go to the barber just to like, what's that one on the left of what you just clicked on? This? Is that a low taper fade? That might be. That looks like chaos. It looks like chaos incarnate.
Well, this is like the Marine Corps haircut. You got to get it every week. Yeah, Jesus. My goodness. Yeah. I didn't even care that much. You know, Tucker, I think you should get like one of those UK haircuts. When I was with my mom, I saw a bunch of these kids in the UK like that. And it's like, yeah, that would be incredible. That looks like just like a wave of
There was a bunch of these kids and they had like kind of like a bowl cut almost, but it stopped like right here. So it like just looked like like there were some evil little character. Yeah. Yeah. It's like a bowl cut. Yeah. That kid in the middle there. Well, that's not what I'm thinking. That's that's some something else. That's something else. That's fucked up. I don't know what that is.
No one would walk into the barber and show that image. Boy 12 sent home from school over Ronaldo style haircut. That's wild. Yeah, no, I don't think I could do that as a haircut. For the longest time, I mean, I think I've said this on the podcast before. For the longest time, I had the Bieber cut. So I kind of had like a, but it wasn't. Really? Yeah, you did. It was meant to be like the Bieber cut kind of thing. Like I got it when I was in like middle school when Justin Bieber was at his peak, you know? Right, right.
And it just didn't really end up being like a really good haircut at all. I mean, I'm going to send some photos that we're going to put up on screen here. You don't need to send them. We've already got them. Oh, you can just go through my Facebook, Tucker, and you can just find them. Maybe I'll do my personal file.
Yeah, you can do your personal file, I guess. Dig into the old hard drive. The various haircuts I had over the years, it just really won. And it was supposed to be a beaver cut, but it ended up just being kind of like a bowl cut for most of my life. I looked like Coconut Head most of my life. Yeah.
Like a coconut head from Ned's Declassified School Survival Guide. You remember that, Schlatt? Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Yeah. So not. I got this. I got it to this haircut or the beginning of what this. Yeah. Yeah, dude. I looked like him. I looked like him and I made the same faces. Oh, he got hot, though. He got hot. What are you talking about? Oh, yeah. That's a glow up. That's a glow up for sure. I know the other characters didn't exactly have a glow up.
Is there on a podcast talking about how they would blow each other in between filming? Really? Yeah. Yeah. They have like a like a podcast about the show 20 years later. Oh, yeah. Wow. Yeah. That's that's what people do when they've got nothing left. They start like a podcast. You're really going in. Whoa. Well, yeah. Yeah. No, but not for like some people, though. Right.
I think most probably like some people who start a dead end, like a, Hey, we're really scraping the bottom of the barrel. Let's, let's like, it's like, I just get in front of a microphone and say some bullshit. Well, I feel like some podcasts are like, they're like the paragon of creativity and the paragon of culture and comedy. Like some, yeah. Well, yeah. Begin with C and also then the second word is S and, and in which. Yeah. Yeah.
Well, not everyone can run as good a show as we do. Oh, yeah. It takes a lot of effort to do what we do here. Yeah, people are rolling up in the droves, and they're like...
They're listening to us in their car commuting or they put it up on the big TV. Like my face could right now be on a big TV in someone's living room and they're sitting on the couch and I'm looking at that person right now. And I like doing those specific call outs too, because then there's a person who's sitting there doing that exact thing. And they're like, what the fuck is happening right now? But there's a lot in the new slat. Have you heard?
Yeah, Dairy Queen punishment in the news. Dairy Queen manager allegedly punished employees by making them eat ice cream mixed with cleaning solution. I found this on Twitter like a week ago or something. What the fuck, man? I found this on Twitter like a little bit less than a week ago. And yeah, Dairy Queen manager. Tucker, would you give us the rundown on what happened with this? Okay, so Kentucky Dairy Queen staff meeting.
Staff meeting. Machine wasn't cleaned properly. Manager's pissed. Manager forces employees, some of them children. Some of them have parents. Not everybody has parents. Some of them have, everyone has parents. Wrong. And they made them eat ice cream mixed with cleaning solution as a punishment for poor working, for poor cleaning. Yeah, like they're cleaning the ice cream thing improperly? Yeah. Yeah.
No permanent injuries. So honestly, it doesn't sound like that big of a deal. That sounds fair. Yeah. Cleaning solution is such a heavy word for soap. Yeah. You ever got your mouth washed out with soap after you said fuck? I mean... Yeah, I think I did that once. Yeah. To be honest...
There is a wide range of things that you can refer to as cleaning solutions. Soap! Soap! Well, one of them includes bleach. Was it bleach? Bleach isn't that bad for you? No, you can dilute it. Did you say that? Yeah. You put bleach in your water and purify it.
It's all about the ratio, man. It's all about the ratio. Wait, Tucker, you telling me that you've been drinking bleach water? Bro, in the Marine Corps, they got the water thing, right? The medic shows up, just dumping bleach into it. And we're drinking that water all week. And everyone's going, are we supposed to be drinking that? And they're just like, it's all about the ratio. What? Okay, I guess I'm in the desert. I guess I'll drink it. That's how they create super soldiers.
That's how they put people in the field so you can drink. You give soldiers enough bleach juice for four years, one full enlistment. If they end up behind enemy lines, they can just drink the murkiest fucking dirt water you find and they're going to walk it off. That shit's lined with fucking... It's not much aligned with metal at that point. Oh my God. I'm almost more surprised that...
I'm more focused now on the fact that Tucker was drinking bleach water for four years. And I was enjoying it. I was liking it. When you're thirsty, you're thirsty. Yeah, it's true. And when you want a blizzard, you want a blizzard. Yeah, true. It doesn't matter if there's a little bit of soap in the blizzard.
Go to your happy place for a happy price. Go to your happy price, Priceline.
Yeah, apparently there's a whole wide range of the quality of Dairy Queens. You know, there's like the one that Schlatt really loves. It wouldn't have happened at a Mayfield. It wouldn't have happened at a Mayfield. You got the Mayfield Dairy Queen that you've been hyping up. Yeah, they keep those places spic and spare. The manager wouldn't have to pull any shit like that. Yeah, this is like, this has got to be like the, the, the,
the shadow version of the Mayfield Dairy Queens. This is the dark link of Mayfield Dairy Queens.
Yeah, so it's the mantra. I mean, he did it after not. This is, yeah, that's crazy. So they must have been like a bunch of like just high schoolers that were working at this Dairy Queen that the guy was like, yeah, no, so you're drinking, you're drinking soap ice cream. That's what it always is, working at a Dairy Queen. Yeah. It's always just a bunch of high schoolers. Same with Chick-fil-A. Well. They like them young.
Don't say it like that. What? They like him young, brother? Yeah, they can feed him soap and no one even quits. That's true. Look at that. No one quit. No one quit? Oh, yeah. And no charges have been filed against the manager, too. Yeah, I would be like... They should start doing this at McDonald's, dude. That McFlurry machine would never be down. That's true. Yeah, you're right.
Yeah, I will say this is pretty damn close. This is like a mixture between what we did in the two videos where we were taste testing stuff. This is as if we did the dish soap and we made ice cream out of dish soap. Yeah, yeah. I wonder what that would have turned out like. That would have been something. Probably not good at all. Probably terrible. You were really confident that you could have that soap, I remember, in that video. You were like, this is going to be a walk in the park.
of the park and then we were just like you just can't it was like physically impossible for us to swallow yeah you couldn't do it and i think we both we both gave like a decent effort to try to like begin that process with our throat of like yeah swallowing that uh what was it cheerios cheerios and dish soap fucking yeah terrible hey moral of the story soap works
We won't be doing that again. Yeah. And let me tell you, that ice cream machine stays clean from now on. Randy's going to make me fucking eat soap again. Did you guys, so wait, have you guys had that like punishment when you were kids? We may have talked about this in the past. This is actually a picture of me. Did you get that, Tucker, when you were a kid? I'm fairly certain I got that once.
I got it once. I got it once. Once, one time is all you need. Hey, that manager is never going to need to do it again. It's kind of like a spanking. You know, you get one as a kid and just the threat of it from then on, you're like, oh, can't argue with that. My sister got it once and I think just seeing it happen to her, I was like,
Damn, dude. I'm not going to fuck around here. She was made an example of, and then I stayed in line. Watching your siblings get punished as a kid was kind of fun until they really started getting it, and then you were like, oh, fuck, I got to look away. I don't want to get caught enjoying this. I'm complicit in this thing. Thankfully, there have been no reports of permanent injuries. What? Come on, bro. It's just a little bit of soap. Yeah. It's cleaning solution. Yeah.
Cleaning solution. Maybe it's like fabulous. Call it soap. We'll put a little hand soap in the ice cream machine. There's no problem with this. But what's the most dangerous chemical that could be considered a cleaning solution? Probably bleach. Do we know? Ammonia. You think so? Ammonia? Maybe. Ammonia, perhaps. Maybe even mercury. Do they use mercury to clean anything? No. No.
Definitely not. I feel like it sounds like something that would be used as a cleaning solution. In the 50s, they were probably using that as body wash, dude. And then they're like, oh, shit, our limbs are falling off. Yeah, yeah. No, they were using a... Women were wearing, like, uranium ore as jewelry. Yeah. Conditioner made of... There's actually a play... Yeah, it's a fucking topical cream that, like, keeps you young. Yeah. It's just fucking mercury. Ooh! Ooh!
When I was in high school, because I was a theater kid, we did this competition in Massachusetts, a theater competition called Festival, where each school would prepare a 40-minute play. It would go through an actual competition where you'd have semifinals and quarterfinals or whatever like that.
And almost every year that I was in high school, there would be at least one production of the show called Radium Girls, which was a production about this group of women that were basically working in a watch factory where they would just be...
painting this radium coating onto the faces of these watches, but they didn't really have proper working conditions, so in order to sharpen the
the little paintbrushes they had, they would, they would use their mouths to do it. Um, and so they were basically putting radioactive materials in their mouths every day at work for several years. Um, and they all fucking died of, uh, of various radiation poisoning based stuff. Like, like in that example right there. No, it was really horrific. And I started to see that as a play done by high schoolers every fucking year for four years. Uh,
Yeah, no, so that's not a good cleaning solution. Good thing the Dairy Queen people didn't have radium ice cream. Yeah, I just think we're getting a little sensitive as a society. Yeah? You think that people should have gotten over it? I think Dairy Queen employees can have a little soap.
I don't think it'll kill him. It's definitely not what I would have been signing up for if I started working at a dairy cleaner. It's like, oh, I can't wait till the manager starts making me eat soap like my mom from the 50s. You flip that fucking Frosty over at me and the ice cream starts dripping out. You're getting the soap.
I'll tell you one thing that happened when we went to the Mayfield Dairy Queen, when they flipped it, when Tucker was getting one, little bit dripped out, little bit dripped out. And the guy was like, sorry. And then he kept going. He was trying to let it slide. He's legally obligated to give you another one for free. Legally? Legally. We're going to take this to the top then. We're going to go to the Supreme Court. You say, hey, buddy, you want some soap in that mouth or are you going to get me another Frosty?
You come around with just like a dish soap thing, like a water gun filled with dish soap, and you're like, anyone fucks with me, I'm going to... Through the drive-thru window? Yeah, that would be a pretty non-lethal way to mess with people. Yeah, that would be battery. Just spraying soap at them. At least battery. Well, it's not like... I feel like battery feels like you've got to be using a baseball bat or something. Like, you've got to be at least using a baseball bat, otherwise it's not battery. That's definitely a more appropriate...
Because bats in the word, right? You have to use a bat in order to be battery. No. Yeah. Or throw a the animal at them. Right. You have any problems with that? No. The bats are out in North Carolina. I saw some the other day because I was there. They're not out here yet. Yeah. I love the. What were you guys doing in North Carolina together?
An old character from my very early YouTube videos that has not showed up in a long time, Moses. It was his birthday. So we went out there for his birthday because he lives in North Carolina as well. He lives nearby to Greenville. And we just were hanging out, dude. It was honestly a pretty... Yeah, it was a good time. We basically had a table...
like his dining room table and we just put tucker and i put our laptops out there and then moses brought out his his like desktop setup and we were playing hell divers just all all three of us at this at this computer setup thing so we were on comms but it was like more like we had to have our headphones like kind of peeking out like this so we could hear each other rather than getting on discord because the latency behind that would have just like fucked our brains up
Moe just didn't have a cool cigar bar to take you to. I feel like he's a high-class individual. His place was the cigar bar. Really? Yeah. He smokes like a chimney. Yeah. He had a box of cigars, and there were several times that we were sitting on his balcony smoking cigars.
Pulling out like handmade Chinese cigarettes. This one's from Italy. Dude, and it looks so cool in those countries where they don't have laws about how you can package cigarettes. Yeah. Those boxes and those cigarettes. They look fucking awesome. They look fucking awesome. Yeah, they smell like the cigarettes. Smelled good. They smelled good, but I was like not totally interested in like smoking the cigarettes, you know? You should have. You should have. I should have? Yeah.
I would have. The smell of cigarettes is kind of nice, a little bit. It varies a lot. I didn't really grow up with a parent or something that smokes cigarettes, so I don't have any sort of association with a chain smoker or anything like that. So when I smell cigarettes, I just think of, oh, this smells like what it's like in Vegas when you're walking through a casino or something, which is like, I don't know. I feel like they designed them to smell a little bit good. They've got to be doing something that comes from the...
That category. Right? Right? There's definitely... They've dumped billions of dollars into the science behind that shit. You know they have. They have to make it as satisfying as possible. I'll tell you one thing. Funny stick. I never smoked in my life until I did.
Oh, my God. It's phenomenal. Phenomenal. It's phenomenal. The kids are going to love it. They got to make that shit taste like candy, too. Start selling it like Girl Scout cookies. Let me tell you something. When I was in Japan, I went out with a YouTuber who will remain unnamed unless he wants to be named. Okay. He took me to a bar in Japan, in Ginza, I think it was. Really upscale part of town. Oh, cool. It was me, Connor...
Jack Manifold. And it's like in the bowels of this city. We had to walk down from the sidewalk to get into this place and it's just like tucked away. This really small, small room. Maybe eight seats max. And you go in here and the name of the place is just Cigarettes and Liquor in all capital letters.
In English? Yeah. And you'll go down and it's just a guy who makes all the drinks by hand. The guy who took us ordered an espresso martini and he fucking started with the beans. Like that's how from scratch all these drinks are. He's making the actual espresso? Yeah, bro. We sat there for like 30 minutes waiting for the drinks to come out. He just silently like crafts them and we're just puffing on cigars. Oh my God. Oh, that sounds awesome. Hell of a time. Hell of a time.
I really want to go to Japan this year. Dude. Schwat. What, you want me to parade you around like a little camp counselor? Am I going to hold a little fucking red flag that you follow me around with?
Well, now I feel stupid for asking for it, but kind of do. Am I going to be a little tour guide? Yeah. Show you all the fun places? I want you to teach me. Authentic Japanese experience? I want you to give me data. Yeah, too. I want you to take me to your favorite little vending machines and...
What was that? I think I read something somewhere or watched a video where it's like you're not allowed or something in Japan to drink while you're walking or eat while you're walking. No, you can do that. Oh, Japanese tend to not eat while walking or standing around on the street. However, it is acceptable to drink while standing aside a vending machine. People do. They do stand while they eat. So it's just like a low-key etiquette thing.
Yeah. You're not going to get attacked by a cop. That's an old American rule, too. Yeah, it's not like you're going to get fucking killed if you walk a little bit and have a little bite of your Pocari sweat, you know? Yeah, I'd just be surprised if I got killed for that. In fact, I'd probably be surprised if I got killed in any scenario, but especially that. I'd be, like, floating up as a ghost, and I'd be like, what the fuck was that? What the fuck?
The lamest way to go ever, really? I'm like going up and I'm like, can I get another try? That didn't seem like very... It's like when I get blown up by a random meteor strike in Helldivers. I'm like, the fuck? People used to die so much cooler back in the day, dude. I'd be complaining for my ghost sets and I'd be like, that was literally RNG.
That's what Tucker was saying the whole fucking weekend. Whenever you got blown up by a meteor strike, you'd be like, this is like RNG, dude. This is fucking bullshit. Dude, it is bullshit. People die in such silly ways these days, you know? Back in the day, you used to ask to kill yourself.
Yeah. I've been watching Shogun. You watch Shogun? Oh, we're talking about the old days in Japan. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Shogun is going on recently. It's this one... It's like... Fuck, what's it like? It's like the...
HBO miniseries on Chernobyl. It's like a one and done thing about the story. It looks good. Yeah. That's fun when they have shows like that where there's no expectation for them to be expanded beyond the first season, so they're just clean. They're clean. It's shot brilliantly. C-Dawg VA is in it. What? Really? Yeah, he's actually the main character.
No way. Yeah. Well, you can't see. He's the one. Yeah, there he is. Yep, there he is. That's not him. Yeah, see that Seadog VA. He's the main character in Shogun. That's not Seadog VA. Yeah, of course it is. Since when? It is him. It looks like him. It acts like him. It's a white guy in Japan like him. Have you spoken to him about... I mean, I guess...
It's totally him. He is British, too. Yep. Wait. No, this is actually... I'm being convinced. It's a really good show so far. Is it done? It's only three seasons in. No, it's only three episodes in. It's coming out weekly. I've made an occasion to watch it. Dude, the first episode of this show...
The first episode, some dude, like he's really pissed off about something and then he can't take it anymore. And so he blurts out something in front of all the members of the council. And they're like, excuse you? What did you just say? And then the guy goes... And then they translate it and it's like, poopy shit fucker, fucky poopy dumb dumb shit balls. Yeah, and then everyone's like, dude, what the fuck did you just say? And then the guy's like, uh...
Sir, please, please let me kill myself. And then he kills himself. Yeah, he kills himself. Dude. Sapoku. Just like that. Just like that. I would not want to kill myself if I just said a couple things out loud. That sucks. That's crazy, though. Like, I can't imagine being in a world where in a society in which that's the better option. Like, the emotions run so high that that is like a better. I mean, I guess it's somewhat similar to like.
I don't know. Similar things occur today where it's like, you know, dying for a cause or something like that. Like there's, I mean, that still exists today, but I mean, man, that's a silly cause to go for, you know? Yeah. Saying something a little angry. I've had my moments of outbursts. I'd be long dead. Yeah. You know, I've been like. That sword would have been in my belly, my big belly.
Yeah, I mean, it's a whole process to get killed that way, too. It's like you stab yourself in the belly first, and then someone chops your head off, I think is what it is. Really? Yeah, it's like the one guy standing there with the katana, but then you've got the little mini katana thing, and you stab yourself in the stomach, and then the dude cuts your head off. He cuts your head. I thought that it was just the one in the stomach that gets you.
There's more? You're telling me there's a second person involved in this act that chops your head off? I feel like I never heard of that one. I feel like when I've seen it, it's been a twosome, not a one. Really? Yeah. Shit. It could be a threesome, too. I mean, maybe there's a third person that maybe shoots an arrow. Do you think one time somebody started that? They just did something, said a rude comment, cut their stomach open, and whoever was in charge was like, that's the new standard.
That's it. They're like, that was fucking awesome. That was metal as shit. Can we do that all the time? That made me feel really good. That guy just killed himself for that. The effort is like, all right, that's what we're doing now. But let's get my best writer in here. We're making this shit law. That's funny, Tucker. That's probably how it happened. Somebody had to start it.
Yeah, somebody's got to be the first guy to do it. And that must have been crazy, too. It's like there's got to be a selection of people who would have been like, well, that seemed a bit extreme, did it not? It seemed like it was a bit overkill, man. And then there's the other part where it's like, no, that was exactly what we wanted. We need to start doing this all the time. And there was more of them. So what was the incident at your high school? Like what type of incident?
The incident. I don't know, Tucker. Do you have a thing that happened at your school that you're thinking of, Schlatt? No. Like something funny where somebody slipped on something? No, nothing funny. Nothing funny. Mine was also just kind of sad. I do know that when I was in elementary school...
I got in trouble for having a battle with this kid who like really thought he was like Batman. And I like, it was like, you're not Batman. And he was like, all right, we're going to settle this like men. So like recess, we were like having like a battle or something. I don't know. Like we had like a, a quarrel. And I remember it being like a thing where I had to talk to a teacher after. And I was like,
They were like, you can't have battles like that. You can't just have wars. Dude, I miss when people used to be able to have battles. Yeah, duels, really. It was just cool. That shit was cool. You could just be like, we're going to fight to the death right now. And you can't do that anymore. They were doing that shit as recently as less than 100 years ago.
Bro, presidents were doing it. Presidents were writing letters of people being like, you meet at this time at this place and I'm going to fucking kill you. Honestly, that would solve a lot of problems today.
We're settling this. Get them out there. Both the candidates come out on their walkers and they're like, let's do this. Yeah, I mean, back then and like a hundred years ago, even longer, it was like honor was like such a bigger thing than it is now where it's like people are just sloppy little, sloppy little sluts. That's sloppy.
Yeah, they're slopping up these days. Back in the day, like, somebody challenges you to do a duel, you're doing that whole fucking 10 paces and turn around and try to shoot each other because you get one shot because it's not like a block. Yeah, it's not a Smith and Wesson .45. Like, you can't just start throwing bullets out. It's like you got one shot with the flintlock. But, like, can you imagine if, like, some dude was just like...
They start doing the paces and then he just kind of pulls out like a shiv and just like scurries up to the other guys. He's walking around and just starts stabbing him. Like, you know, cause dude, that would be worse than death. That would be a loss of honor because you're not a man. If you do that, you take your 10 paces. Yeah. Yeah. That's probably why Aaron Burr ran away to Mexico. He did. Yeah. Cause I think he was like, he, he did not enough paces. Like he, he turned earlier or something. Really? Who is this?
I think it was Aaron Burr when he killed Alexander Hamilton or something. Didn't he kill them early or something like that? Aaron Burr. I can't tell if I'm just knowing this information from having listened to the soundtrack of Alexander Hamilton, the musical, or if this is actual historical information I know. He killed Hamilton? He did kill Hamilton. He definitely killed that fucking guy. He engaged in the duel and killed him. And he's the Secretary of the Treasury?
Man, I wish our politicians were doing shit like this these days. That would be crazy, dude. Cage matches? Cage matches on C-SPAN? Yeah, somebody pisses off Nancy Pelosi. She's like, meet me outside at high noon. We're doing this. Love seeing Nancy Pelosi get into a spit with fucking...
Whatever that crazy lady is that was wearing all Trump stuff at the State of the Union. Oh, from that TikTok you sent me? The jump scare? Yeah, where Biden was walking out and he saw her and he was like, oh! He made like a pog face when he saw her. It was awesome. Oh, man.
But yeah, no, we need more. Well, I guess that's a great question. What do we think politics would make politics better these days? Because like from the sound of it, it seems like politics was a lot more metal back in the day. If anything, it's a little bit more tame now. If we're able to do duels and stuff, like how do we bring that back?
How do we bring back the golden age of politics? Yeah, the golden age of politics. Like, back when Theodore Roosevelt was, like, going off to, you know, going off to the West and becoming a cattle rancher, and then they're all dying in, like, storms and stuff, you know? Yeah, that's the thing. I mean, the world...
Like, it just gets worse the farther back you go, you know? What are you doing? What is that? What was that? Nothing. Was that Gumby? No, it wasn't Gumby. I was going to say that's a little too floppy to be a Gumby. It's just a little desk toy thing. Yeah. But I was listening. I like that. No, I like that. What?
I like that. I like that a lot. Yeah. Yeah. No. What were you saying, though? I don't know. I was saying that maybe politics just kind of were worse back then, but I don't know. Yeah.
Yeah. Maybe like we're better off. I mean, not very much better off. I mean, yeah. I mean, I think the world is kind of going to shit regardless. I've got an idea. I know what we're going to do for politics this time around. Okay. Because I think everyone is sort of a little bit upset that
that all the the and we're gonna get political here on chuckle sandwich right now i think everyone's a little bit upset that all the main candidates in these coming years are gonna be like the bunch of old dudes everyone's like these guys are too fucking old you look in the you look in congress and it's a bunch of old people walk around being old so maybe we re sort of design our whole campaigning rules and stuff and that and say that like you have to be at least 35 to become president united states right
That's pretty young still. That's pretty young. That is pretty young. So I think that if we insert challenges of physical and mental strength, we could better sort of determine who's the best guy to run the show. The big show. Yeah, even like a very basic human baseline test, like a CAPTCHA. Bro, you...
That would weed out both candidates this upcoming election cycle if you made them do a fucking capture. Just the simple ones, too, that AI can get now. Like, just the words are just a little bit weird. Because you know for a fact... Joe would be like...
The traffic cone's kind of in the box. I don't know if that's enough to count. Because you know for a fact that Joe Biden's got an iPhone with the accessibility options that make his text like... You get like half a sentence on one screen. It's like, hello, Mr. Biden, if at the beginning of an email, and that's it. And then he has to scroll for like 20 minutes to get a whole email in. Yeah, no, dude. We're going to add some captions. That'll be the first. That'll be the entry. The entry sort of thing. Just a baseline. That's it.
That's a good baseline, I think, too, because I feel like half the people that are 70 and over don't even understand what the purpose of a captcha is. It's like, what am I doing here? And, bro, those are getting hard. They're getting fucking difficult now. You realize how more difficult captchas have gotten?
Because of AI, dude. Yeah. You know why? Because captures have been training the AI. Yeah. Oh, well, that's a bit backwards, don't we think? Oh, that's with Google. It's true, bro. That's why they're all pictures of like street signs. That's why they were easy. That's why 10 years ago they were fucking easy.
And now they're getting more difficult because we've, they've been sufficiently trained on the easy shit. So you need humans to tell them, which is humans. Yeah. Yeah. I was, I've been having, I've been having a little bit of trouble. Sometimes it'll be like, point out the bike and it'll be like the bottom smallest part of a tire of a bike. And I'll be like,
Does this count? Yeah, does it count? I don't know. I'm going to do it as if that four-second loss of having to retry the Captcha is too much time. That's what they're using to get self-driving car AI.
AI going. That's a conspiracy. That might be a nice conspiracy. It is all traffic questions these days. Yeah, I don't know if it's a conspiracy. I feel like that's pretty cut and dry. Who's it going to though? Google's probably selling it to Tesla and Mercedes and everybody. Well, Google's running it. I know they're probably collecting the data and then just selling it to car companies.
I mean, I bet Google's trying to make their own car. They've already got that whole Street View stuff. I feel like Google is in the zone where they'd be like, what if we made a car? No, Google has been a useless company for like 10 years now. They haven't put out a single meaningful product in 10 years. Well, they've got that whole think tank thing that they're always thinking of stuff. What? Like their DeepMind.
DeepMind. They got that think tank thing. They're always thinking of stuff. Google's got like a think tank. They got a bunch of like not a single good ideas ever come out of that fucking thing. I guarantee you mind, I guess. Dude, they're riding on their laurels of having the ads engine and the fucking YouTube and that's it. They've got their AI. Their AI is non-competitive with other companies. Damn. Well, OK, wait. You have to type in Reddit at the end of any Google search to get a meaningful result. Yeah.
They're behind, bro. You need a result from a human. Because there's so many... The amount... These days, the amount of articles I find when I'm trying to solve a simple... Just a functional question I have about... Or just even a recipe. I'm just trying to figure out a recipe. I'm trying to make a recipe on just how to make a fucking mojito or something on a Friday night. And I go on Google and it's like...
The first seven minutes worth of scrolling is like, the mojito is the world's favorite cocktail. It has cemented itself in the psyche of the human community. Yeah, dude, show me the fucking recipe! Yeah, I'm like, I don't want to fucking read all this. You gotta scroll past three fucking ads. Three ads, and then in the middle of one, another one pops up. Yeah, I think that,
I think that the easiest way to discover if something is written by AI, they got those like AI detector things that people run through, which are like half the time they're like false flags. I think the easiest way to read it is just to read through it and think to yourself, especially on Twitter and stuff, is like, would I like...
like a fiction level high school bully and beat this person up for being a poindexter through reading through this. Am I like, this guy's a fucking nerd when I'm reading through this. Then it's meant by AI. Because AI is the biggest nerd
It's the perfect computer nerd. I was doing a fucking, I was on Google Images for some inspo. Okay? I typed in Victorian house and I could tell that some of these images were just AI. It was just generating images of it. Like some of them very clearly just not actual places.
Yeah. And it's depressing. It's depressing. Some of those houses, I know some of those houses, though. If you go up to the top, Tucker, and you click that one in the very, very middle, I think that that one is in Martha's Vineyard or something. No, that's not in Martha's Vineyard. But there's houses like this in Martha's Vineyard. But that's AI right there. That one that Tucker was just on, that was AI.
Of course. Very clearly. That's 100%. You can just tell. You can just tell. And like these are the top results now. And it's just kind of sad. I feel like the internet is, we're witnessing its decline in usability. And I just think back to a time where getting on the computer
was like a cool, like, oh, I'm going to get home from school and get on the computer and maybe talk to a smarter child on AOL, Instant Messenger. You know? And now it's like the computer is everything. And you're on the computer 24-7. And it's not even as fun as it used to be. It's just kind of sad. Yeah, the Flash games were the best, dude. Oh, God. Kitten Cannon? Oh, God.
Shit. Shoot that little fucking pussy out of that cannon. Or the Flight of the Hamsters. The code name Kids Next Door game, Flight of the Hamsters, where it was like it would play Ride of the Valkyries as the music. Yeah. You know what I'm talking about? No. But I'm empathizing with you. Thank you. I appreciate that. And I have nostalgia. I have it through you. I'll tell you what I'm thinking.
Though, going back to that presidential sort of race thing, because I've got some ideas on what we could do. So we've got to do that. We start open up with the capture, right? Yeah. Capture is good. That's like the baseline here. You have to get to apply. That gets you on the stage. Actually, before I continue on this, have you ever seen Vermin Supreme?
Yeah. Yeah, I know Vermin Supreme. Okay. He's still doing it. For those who don't know, there is a man named Vermin Supreme, and every election cycle in New Hampshire, he will start at the Democratic primary, and he's a wizard that wears a boot as a hat, and he will start off and just saying like a bunch of nonsense. And if you really want a good sort of...
Yeah, he's on C-SPAN 2024. This dude is a legend. He wears a boot on his, I don't know, he's just like a wizard guy and he'll just say a bunch of nonsense and it's on C-SPAN. It's like publicly available, archived information of the things that this guy has said.
And he's still doing it. I love that. Some of the main themes of Supreme's campaign are instituting a mandatory toothbrushing law, giving every American a free pony, using zombies for renewable energy, zombie apocalypse awareness, and time travel research. Maybe he's your guy. He might be my guy specifically, yeah. If I came to him and I started talking, I'd be like, hey, dude, I got this idea about ramps that you're really going to want to listen to. He'd be like,
Come into my office. He takes the boot off his head. He's like, he gets all serious. He takes the boot off and then he's like, takes a phone out of it. He's like, Paula, cancel my 12. Takes the boot off a second smaller boot.
Yeah, it's just a fucking Russian doll. Okay, so you do the CAPTCHA. We do the CAPTCHA. I think that in order for us to have a proper president, we need to have people in office that can handle G-forces. And I think that a
Really good. And also knows the land of the country. Someone who has been all over. And a way to brute force that is if we get them in like fucking F1 cars, right? We suit them up, get them in F1 cars and make a whole F1 track that goes around the entire country to every state. And they're going at like 200 miles per hour the whole time. And it's like...
Maybe they'll get a little bit of sleep but they're going around curbs and stuff. They're going through the whole country. So, I want to be completely honest.
You're losing me here. Why? Because let me spin it for you this way. It's a physical capture. Let me spin it for you this way, dude. Okay? The future of this country is not cars. Okay? Why are we putting these politicians in cars? We need to put them in high velocity trains. A high velocity train rail network. So what are they doing on the train? They'll sit on the train.
They'll try and... Okay. Are they driving a train? Here's this. They're trying to get on an Amtrak train. And that's the whole challenge. Okay. Is that hard to do? For some people. Okay. You ever had Moynihan and you're like, oh, fuck. Where's this fucking train going? Okay. I see what you're doing. So we'll start off with the caption.
Next one, get on the train. The next one, after that, they have to climb a single flight of stairs, a normal flight of stairs, one that's in the house. Well, dude, those trains got steps getting up to them. Yeah. You ever been to an Amtrak train station that's just...
Concrete on the floor and they have a little footstools to get up into the train. Yeah, those are fun though cuz you got the conductor and he's like looking legit Yeah, and he comes out they're not they don't do them like they used to anymore There's no tickets you just show him a little fucking QR code and he scans it with his own fucking Android But don't you think it would be more metal though if it was like this guy won the grand race It would be cool, but I don't know how
Much that would reflect okay. This person is fit to make policy for our country You know Tucker you seem like you have a thought on that. I think no, it's a presidential race Right and like you know the debate every four years. There's like the presidential debate and everybody watches it What if we got them both in like a stadium? Everybody's watching it the stadiums full and they did like an obstacle course or something. I
Or like those, have you ever seen Professional Tag? Yes, I was going to say that, dude. They make them play tag with a bunch of fucking obstacles in the middle. And they have to be like in their suits too. Like imagine seeing a bunch of...
a bunch of like grown men or women in suits just like, or, or pantsuits just jumping over obstacles, like doing, doing the monkey bar shit. If they did like a bunch of Olympic events and we all watched and then like, somebody's obviously going to win. They're just like, Hey,
Keep that in mind. Yeah. Keep that in mind. I got the longest standing long jump here. My opponent can't even get two feet on the standing long jump. Yeah, it's like Biden was able to pull ahead in Arizona because we know that that's a very big long jump state. We know that state really values their long jumping skills.
Like the battleground states are the ones that are looking for specific skills. Watch them do like a 400 meter sprint and then maybe a shot put.
Javelin toss. Yeah, and it's just like, and it would weed out the old people really quick because you could see the old people trying to do it one year and then it's just like, there's like that young buck that's just clearing them, dude. Totally clearing them. Especially when you get into like shit like boxing. Yeah. Oh, man. He's beating them by like minutes in a race. Yeah, full minutes. Oh, yeah. I'd watch that. This, I think, is going to be the new fashion, by the way, Schlatt.
Yeah. Okay. Yeah. Add that to your repertoire of already questionable choices and maybe it'll stick. Maybe it'll stick. Man, you're really making me feel bad about myself lately. No, I don't want to make you feel bad about yourself. Well, I'm going to commit to it. That's not what I'm trying to do. I'm just brutally honest. I'm just... That's my flaw. Yeah. Yeah, you are an honest boy. An honest boy making honest money and honest work. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know. I mean...
Do you do anything cool? Drink any good soda lately? Soda? No. Really? Yeah. I just found out, though, that Arnold Palmer has a...
Has a hard version. And I've been drinking that a lot. Really? Yeah. There was a period of my life when Arnold Palmer was like the biggest fucking deal. Yeah. It eclipsed the Arizona era for sure. That was fucking crazy. We got to talk about that. It's like that and Vineyard Vines went hand in hand, dude. Arnold Palmer and Vineyard Vines on a summer day. Just overhyped, you know.
But, you know, I did find it. I did find it at my local gas station, and I was like, fuck. I was only here for Dippin' Dots, but I got to try that too. There's your lab right there. Oh, wow. It's in the Arnold Palmer shop. That's fun. Well, I do have one thing that has been going on lately. One more topic that I think might need our attention, and that is have you been seeing this new stuff on the Royal Family, Schlatt?
No. This is the Kate Middleton stuff. What's been going on? Do you know who Kate Middleton is? I have no idea who that is. Who's Kate Middleton? She's the princess of whales. Oh, God. So she communicates... Get the fuck out of here with that shit. Well, she communicates with the... What are they, arthropods? Whales? They're the largest mammal in the world. Yeah. She communicates with them and...
And she's their princess. And so kind of akin to Barbie. It's like a real life Barbie kind of thing. Either way, she had abdominal surgery semi-recently. And people don't think that she's alive or something. They think she's dead? This is like... I don't know. I've been seeing this on Twitter all the time, too. Because I would see little tweets where people would be like, Yeah, I didn't really care about Kate Middleton. And then I started looking into it and it's freaking me out. But...
On my birthday, on January 16th, she had abdominal surgery. And then Buckingham Palace said that she would be in the hospital for 10 days. And until recently, no one has seen her for like two months. She was missing for two months. And it led to a bunch of conspiracies. Some jokes, some real. One was like, oh, she's growing out some bangs. That she's getting a Brazilian butt lift. Or that something went wrong with her surgery and she died or is in a coma. Yeah.
Then you know on February they made like a statement like her team made a statement. They're like she's recovering yada yada They released these paparazzi pics of her that we could pull up onto the screen here and people are like This just doesn't look like her there's like these grainy paparazzi photos and they're like this ain't fucking her and then very recently yesterday
I guess Kensington Palace where she lives, they released a picture of Kate and her kids. And this kind of connects well to the AI thing. People really can't fucking tell if this is AI or real. She's not wearing her wedding ring in the photo. And like the kid's hands are doing like weird things. Like that kid on the left, his hands all like wrapped up and looking fucking freaky. His hands are blurry. And this, her thing, her shirt clips here.
Let me see this. Let me see this. Yeah, here. Somebody's like connected all the...
Issues also the faces of the children that's a very AI face that a lot of teeth big Well, I mean I feel like it would be more intense if it was like these are not her kids and we've been like It might be like yeah if they were just like random kids and they were like who the fuck is like all her kids are grown and then but I think that people are thinking it's like maybe like a combination of both AI and like Photoshop and stuff and like it's not oh
You know? Yeah, there's definitely some doctoring going on here. Yeah, so it's sort of like, what's going on there? And also, why did that extend? Like, if it is a problem. The lighting is also perfect all the way around. Well, that could also just be like professional photography. Yeah, well, they're rich fucks.
Yeah, so that's something that's going on. And we at the Chuckle Sandwich team will be needing to be keeping tabs on this. We're going to be making sure. We might actually fly Tucker out to Kensington Palace so he can start snooping around and see what's going on. Fly me out, too. Fly me out, too. We could just make it a big group trip. Yeah, we'll just charter. You guys come out here to Greenville. We'll charter a Mr. Beast PJ. PJ, is that what they call him?
Yeah, that's actually what they call it in the private jet flying community. They call them PJs. Wow, that's cool. Yeah, and it ain't pajamas. That's what I'm saying. But yeah, so Chuckle Sandwich listeners, if you guys could also look into us, we got to figure out. I mean, I haven't been in bed. I don't even know who this woman was until I started hearing about this stuff. So get in there. Figure it out. Don't go to her place. I'm going to get her out.
So that's going to get in there. That's my job to get inside, guys. He's going to get inside the house. Don't anyone else go to her house or anything like that. I'll take care of it. I promise. Good. I will take care of Kate Middleton. Okay. I will take care of the Kate Middleton situation. Situation, yeah. It's getting more and more...
spooky each time you say it i am going to take care of this situation thanks for watching guys uh we'll she will be dealt with son of a bitch
