Eddy Burback's Deepest Secrets
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No, I always tip. Okay. I will never not tip, but if I want to not tip, I'll tip five cents.

What what okay? I need to know your reasoning. Here's the reason why I tipped five cents one time because Korean barbecue place I ordered the Beef bulgogi they start bringing it out my eyes Maybe were a bit bigger than my stomach But they didn't tell me until after I had finished eating and there was still some food around the table They said you wouldn't have to charge you extra for that. No the fuck you're not I

Wait, sorry. They charge you... So if you don't eat all the food they bring you, they charge you extra for the food? What? Yeah. Yeah. That's how it works here. So I didn't realize... Yeah, they want you to... I guess I've never left food on the table, though. Oh, I can tell. Yeah.

All right. No, I'm fucking with you. That was mean. Well, I was angry because there were extra food, but it wasn't on the plate. It was on the fryer itself. It was on the fucking place where you cook it. It was charred and disgusting. Are you putting it, writing it down, or are you, like, placing a nickel on top of the...

and type in zero. - You're punishing the wrong person. - Zero five. - Just don't go to the restaurant anymore. - Oh no, it was delicious. I'd go back all the time. - Welcome to Chuckle Sandwich. Well, welcome Eddie, once again, to Chuckle Sandwich. - I'm back. - We're so happy to have you on. - I'm glad I'm here for the in-person one. These are fun. - Yeah, I love having you here in person. I love looking at you.

Thanks, buddy. Appreciate it. And yeah, no, this is the, I think this is the first time that we have had someone on a, you're the first repeating Chuckle Week in-person guest that we've had on. Really? Okay. I'm a sophomore now. Yeah, you're an alum. You're an alum of the Chuckle Week. I think I give off like sophomore, like 16-year-old vibes, right? Look into my eyes. I think I look like a 16-year-old maybe.

You think I can pull off in a high school movie a 16 year old? I don't know why. So did someone tell you that or is this something you believe? So my brother and I are making a video on the Uncharted movie right now and I thought that Tom Holland and I are the same age. And I think we could both pull off a high school student. I think...

You look like someone who would like stand by the fence at recess. You think you don't, you couldn't, if you were a sophomore in high school right now and you turned and I said, hey, did you do the algebra homework? Do you think that would be shocking? I think just like my eyes would immediately go to right, just sort of the area in between your mouth, like where your lips are and where your nose is. And I would be shocked.

I mean, I'm sure that there's somewhere in America, there's at least one 16 year old that is just

started growing their facial way earlier and they were able to achieve an Eddie level mustache. But I think that person is incredibly rare. There's, I think, I feel like there's a lot of high school beards though. It's rare that you see at high school mustache. Yeah. That's like a, yeah. Yeah. The beards. I was surprised when there was a sophomore, I got into freshman year and there was a sophomore with a full beard and I was like,

How, that's crazy. - Yeah, I don't know, even for facial hair stuff, it's like even into my early 20s, it didn't look how it did. I have no idea how it happens to somebody at 16. - You went through your second puberty. - I did. It just kinda slowly kept coming in, like a little better, I feel like. - It's full, it's strong. - Thank you, I appreciate it. The beard's not as good. Tony, my fraternal twin brother for, I don't know actually if you even know that, have you met Tony? You met Tony, right, like in 2020 maybe?

That one. Tony. Yeah, so wait, do that again? Tony. You remember him now? Oh, is he the one that said, ooh, look at me? Yeah, he's still saying it. He's the one who didn't grow it, and that's why they're fraternal and not identical. He's got a full beard, and he can really rock it. Mine's fine when it comes in, but that's why I keep with the stubble. Tony is sort of a mystical being to me as well. Yeah, he's a real person, but you... Well, but like he...

He has a mystique to him. You've heard a lot about him. There's like rufflings about him. Well, I've met him as well. Yeah. And I get shy when I see him. I'm like, oh.

Tony, well, it's especially, I think the main thing is friend group wise. Like you'll frequently hear like me or Jakey. Tony's the funniest friend we have. And that's when you hear that about somebody and then you meet them. And especially like, then you're like, oh, they're a little bit, I'm a little bit not threatened in a comedy way, but you're like, oh, I kind of want to impress him a little bit. I think we talked him up too much. Well, Tony, Tony's great because you'll reference things that like Tony will just say out of nowhere. Like he has, he has that sort of, um,

like he bides his time and then knocks it out of the park. That's just like his brand of comedy is like, he is like, he's sort of like Samus and super smash bros powering up the, the energy ball. Like, but he, but you don't know what's coming. You don't know what's coming. Um, but yeah, I love, I love Tony and you know,

so much more than anyone else in this room. I love Tony. I mean, you know, he's just, I mean, he's, but I, I would say he's probably the best Burback that I know. The problem is it's like, I, you've heard this one before. No, I was going to say, I just have to agree. Cause you love him so much. I believe it. I believe it. Uh,

And the one- the only thing I'll plug during this is that I have a channel about video games with video essays with Tony. It's good you're doing it at the beginning too, 'cause at this point you've got pretty much everyone. I got 'em grabbed when we started talking about my facial hair and everyone's at the edge of their seat.

Does he how when did it come in when was it patchy before yeah, but you've got your you've got your channel with Tony Burback mm-hmm We should have uploaded hopefully we have two out now with us actually in the videos because they used to be voiceover stuff Yeah, this because this should be coming out in May this episode. Yeah, so hopefully you know hopefully that's working out I'm really hoping that first one we put out does really well cuz Tony's also moving here. That's a cool project. Oh

Um, the, just like doing it with, yeah, I, uh, I think, and I'm hoping cause our new format that will be out at this point is us also, uh, on camera is, uh, I don't think that there are video, like, I guess it's weird. Cause like video, I say some people call like very informational. I just like to use it as like, it's a comedy or commentary video about kind of something. Um,

And I feel like it's rare that you have two voices in it that know each other so well. Yeah. And that's what I really love about doing it because, you know, I know him better than anyone. Yeah. It's... What I think is so great about the Burbeck channel that a lot of, like, sort of video essay or just general commentary stuff don't have is that there's, like, a rapport. Like, it's sort of, like...

I imagine it as like you're walking down the street and then two men stop you who know each other very well and they're trying to explain something to you that at the same time because there's these moments that you guys have in the channel where like

uh, like you were, you were, Tony will say something like ridiculous. And then the other will be like, well, I actually don't know about what you're saying there. And then, and it's like, there's like a rapport that exists within the, just the, as you were saying, like a lot of, um,

video essay stuff is like very informational where it's like there's a casual like hand it off to each other and it's nice Yeah, we're looking what kind of fall into it I can actually give a fun fact that includes our rainforest trip really quick. Um, cuz I'm staring at it right now So oh the Boneyard video, I don't know if you remember this from the trip But I was making one of these videos with my brother and we could use all the support especially because he's moving out here in LA's expensive but

We were working on a video and also doing the trip. Yeah. I don't think I still love the trip so much. And I actually feel, you know, I talked before with you. I feel like I actually grew as a person from being out on the road for like three weeks. On the open road. It's a lot more work. Road changes you, man. It does change you. But it was a lot more work than people realize, even though it's such a dumb trip and feels like a vacation. Because it was so much driving to where we had like no.

Even getting to the hotel. Yeah. We'd get to the hotel at night and be too exhausted to relax. It was like having no chill time for three weeks. The activation energy of a video like that is like, it's all encompassing. Because we were on the road for like 23 or 21 or 23 days. Yeah. Editing during it, like shooting during it constantly. And so I'm also trying to work on one of the videos with Tony. Yeah. And it all culminated in I...

supposed to help Tony finish the video and you guys know those are like the most stressful days and we were in what was it it was like Roanoke Virginia was it is that one of the places we went to I think that's the one where we had to are you talking about the hotel where we had to walk walk up the

a little bit to get to it. Yeah, that's the one. And it was like sunset when we arrived. And so I'm making a thumbnail and I got there late and I'm falling asleep and I don't want to disappoint my brother for the workload that I'm supposed to do for our video. And I had a full-blown panic attack in the hotel. So let me ask you this and you can put the visual up. Does that barnyard thumbnail look like somebody who's having a panic attack? Ah!

I made that while I was hyperventilating. And I straight up was like... I looked at it after and I was like, I'm happy with this thumbnail. But holy shit. I... Wow. It definitely...

I mean, you know, that looks like somebody who's perfectly safe. You can tell there's some pain. There is. Just the stare of pig just right into the center of the camera. The problem, too, is like while you're going through that as well, you know, like emotions are so high that when I finished it, I was starting to come down. But I was still, you know, so swept up in the panic attack that just pig staring at me started making me hysterically laugh.

Am I also seeing bliss in the background there? Am I seeing what? Am I seeing bliss, the Windows...

Yeah, I believe it is. Yeah, I believe it is. That's the name of the photo. Yeah. Because I know in my experience, especially doing stuff like Incorrect History, where a lot of the times I'm like at the end of my rope trying to finish it. Very often if I'm looking for a background for me to be on top of a green screen, Bliss is like my go-to. So like I can totally see like... I must have done that because I needed like green grass and a blue sky. That must have been the one I went for. But it was like...

The problem is too hysterically laughing at pig then. Then you have the moment where you're like, I'm...

I'm having a panic attack while I'm on a road trip to go to every Rainforest Cafe, and I'm having a panic attack laughing in a hotel by myself. And that's funny too. And then also, you also have to think about this, other people in the hotel, so there is someone who is maybe next door hearing this... It wasn't that loud, but I... Hearing like this sort of muffled, muffled like breakdown of a once proud soul. And then a click of a review where they hear like Otis the Cow, and like...

His dad doing the "I won't back down" song as I'm like, crying.

Oh, man. That scene, though, of what I must have been. I think his name was Ben, the uncle. It's Otis' dad. Otis' dad, but it's Ben and he died tragically. So I imagine him as an uncle because of Spider-Man. But that's a whole different situation. He's an uncle to you. He is in many ways. He's a dad to Ben the cow. Him singing that song in that context is...

of the Barnyard movie was way more epic than it had any right to be, especially when looking back on it in hindsight. It was... Because it had that sort of bouncy animated series after they make the original movie kind of vibe to it that...

Looking back at it now when I was a kid. I was like oh my god. This guy is fighting for the I fight the wolf It was the most cinematic thing I've ever seen yeah, it was Kino mm-hmm It's I actually still unironically love that scene that mother movie. I did not like when I rewatched it Yeah, I watched the show the show was good. Yeah, actually the show is fine wrong for that you you drank the diet coke of

Of Barnyard is what you mean. Why'd they call him, why did he get a name? Da Cow. Yeah, there's Otis and then Pig. And why did they call Pig, Pig? Was he not good enough to get a name? They're not calling him his animal name. It's like a really mean nickname. So Otis and Pig.

What were the other characters? Oh my goodness. Did they have names? Some of them had names. Some of them, and some of them were just like cow, dog? Yeah, I think the chicken's name is Peck. I'm all pulling this from when I made the video last year. Yeah, I don't know. What the fuck was... Oh, the dog's name is Duke. The dog... Duke had a lot of Brian energy now that I think about it. Duke walks... So, no, Duke came well after Brian, I guess. So I was going to say so Brian could run, but...

Duke in the game plays pool against you and constantly taunts you. And when I played through that game for the video, I've never I've I'm going to say it. I hope that dog dies a horrible death. Yeah, I hope Duke dies a horrible death. What's the most horrible death you think a dog could experience being kicked by me? He's seen it. So, you know, it's one fucking kick. All I need.

Most of the time. I know. It was like he was waiting for the opportunity to enter. Did you see his stare? He was back in it. Yeah, no, like, oh, he's doing the mustache sniff. That's like sort of when it's like there's something he's looking forward to. One fucking kick. He can see it right now. He can see it replaying. Yeah. That shit fucking skull is real quick. He's doing quick work of that thing. He's in like vats in Fallout getting ready to kick. I mean, if it's Duke, if it's Duke the dog, I'll pay you.

Because he's not a real dog. Where does he live? The barnyard. Which, honestly, could be, now that I think, now after going through, could be Nebraska.

Yeah, oh, dude, most boring fucking drive of my life. Oh, my God. Stinkiest drive of my life. Cow farts cover the whole land. Oh, man. Gross. Never go drive through Nebraska if you can avoid it. Don't drive through Nebraska at 3 a.m. Okay, whatever you do, Schlatt, don't do it. I know you were thinking about it. I can see it twinkling in your eye. Oh, man, I'm going to drive through Nebraska to go to North Platte. I'll have to change the itinerary. I don't know. What else would I drive through instead? Like,

Maybe Oklahoma. Oklahoma. Perhaps Kansas. Kansas is often where you go if you're trying to go the route that we were going. Kansas into Colorado. But you decided Nebraska would be. I don't know how we ended up going through Nebraska, to be honest. It was a faster route, I think. Was it? Yeah. Yeah.

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It was really unfortunate because we were driving past a cow farm is the reason why I'm talking about it being stinky. And I don't know if it was the methane or if it was just general cow stink. But it was so powerful that like we our window, the windows of the truck were closed. And we I think Eddie put his face in a.

a bag of chips in order to mask the smell. - Yeah, chili cheese Fritos. - Chili cheese Fritos. And then I like, I don't know what I did. I think I just recovered my nose or like plugged it. And it was bad. It was like nauseating. - I smelled something awful near the Tesla Gigafactory the other day. - Burning batteries or something? - Maybe. - Maybe they're using cow somehow. - Maybe.

That'd be crazy. The cow-powered Tesla. Cow-powered Tesla. I wouldn't put it past you. Model C. Model C. It runs on milk. It's really inefficient. It's like a gallon per quarter mile. Well, you know, honestly, that's probably, they're going to do that at some point because when gallon, when there's like the demand changes for milk, don't they just like pour it out so they can keep milk prices high? What? What?

That's a good thing. What are you talking about? It's a thing in the dairy industry where it's like when there's some sort of demand loss for milk, they will pour out thousands of gallons of milk, get rid of it in order to keep the prices the same. Is this true, Tucker? You seem to be doing a little bit of... What if you just don't milk the cows as much? The dumping... Yeah. Well, I think this one might be more relevant. Recently, Danny was like the Gannis gang.

Genghis had restored to milk dumping because of a precipitous drop in demand from schools, restaurants, and other food service providers, which have been mandated to close their doors to stop the spread of coronavirus pandemic. Oh, so I guess they were dumping milk during coronavirus is what was going on. You want to know another fucked up fact about the meat pandemic?

and general animal product industry, if a single chicken gets the bird flu... You told me about this one. I remember this, yeah. The factory has to kill all of the chickens in the building. And there's millions of them.

God damn, that's awful. Even if one chicken doesn't even have it, even if they scan a feather and it's got the avian flu in it, they lock the building. Sounds like how the government reacts in any zombie apocalypse movie. And they cull them. They turn the heat up. It kills them and it kills all the bacteria. Fuck, dude. A foam? A foam.

Oh my god. The USDA recommends sealing up barns and piping carbon dioxide inside first, running the birds unconscious and ultimately killing them. Mm-hmm. Ooh. Yeah. Yeah, that sucks. They've killed... It's like bird flu's grizzly question. How to kill millions of poultry. Well, they've killed... Tucker, look up death toll. How many chickens have died? Oh my god. When you say, like, death toll, that's like... It is technically to a flu.

Yeah. And us. It's insane. I mean, there shouldn't be that many near each other. Yeah. That's our fault entirely. Five million in December. Five million in December. Holy shit.

Geez. You'd think I would, like, this would be common knowledge. Yeah. But it makes us feel bad about it. Why haven't you figured this out yet, Shalai? Why are you just telling us about the problem? What have you done? Do you want me to fix it? Well, I thought that maybe if you were like, oh, and here's how I'm going to fix it. Suck the bird flu out and then spit it into like a tin can. Like when you get a snake bite. Yeah, exactly.

That'll work. You want me just roaming the factory floor? I want you to be there. I want you to be the USDA hired poultry sucker. Grab it by its neck. It doesn't have the bird flu. Just just like you're just just. Yeah. No, I think that would be great at that. You'd be like the the Tootsie Pop Owl just all day.

I only need three licks. That one ends a little bit. It ends in a crunch. It ends a little bit more violently than I think they would be. Fuck that owl, by the way. That owl is such a dick. He is. He ate the whole fucking Tootsie Pop. From a child. And also, Tootsie Pop

Man, whoever animated that must have been like, I wish I got royalties for this because they got a lot of mileage out of that commercial. That commercial and then also the new... I feel like the... And no hate to the Red Bull animators, but every time I see a new Red Bull ad, they had one with Kratos in it and I was like, I thought all of these were from like...

1952? Yeah. Like, what the fuck is this animated stuff? Yeah, like the 90s or something like that. Yeah, Kratos walked up and one of them was like, what? Like, not all of these were real. Well, because Kratos was real. Yeah, Kratos was real and he was just... They made that in the 50s. Yeah, they made that in the 50s because they knew that he would probably come up at some point. What are some other long-standing commercials? Oh, I bet you have...

One of them is the, uh, uh, the, the, uh, Hershey, Hershey Kiss Christmas one where they ring. They do that one like every year. Went to high school, didn't do great. Now I gotta make more cash. They still run that though? I think they have a new song, but it made everyone realize how much the old song would, but I remember running for years. What was it? Education Connection.

I took some pre-tests to find out my direction. Aesthetically, it's kind of like we're in that ad because doesn't she have like, she's like, doesn't she have a, like. I think she's just like on an orange background for a bit. I thought she was, I thought, boom. Yep. Oh, she is working at a restaurant. She's got these bad boys. Went to high school, didn't do great. Wow.

Yeah, I think she's singing the song because she's like, "I'm going to school while I'm also working." Yeah, they made a new one and everyone's, you know, people are up in arms. That type of stuff, it's like, you know, where people are like, "There's a thing that reminds me of when I was a kid, but it's not the same." Yeah. "Everything's not the same. Call of Duty's not the same. Halo's not the same." It's like, yeah, things are always changing, man. Call of Duty: Modern Warfare 2 from 2009 isn't the best shooter on the market currently.

Halo doesn't have split screen anymore. Gaming's just not the way it used to be. Oh, I only play two games. So you recently, Stanley Steamer. Stanley Steamer is a good one. Is this a commercial that we're talking about? Yeah, I guess the jingle just keeps going. Empire. Empire, yeah. Today. Is it 205, 80? 800. 280 to 300. Empire. Today. Today.

I don't know if there's... 877-CASH-NOW. Yep. Cars for Kids. I made a video on this. I have a structured settlement and I need cash now. J.G. Wentworth. Yep. Cars for Kids.

I never saw Cars for Kids. I think that's an East Coast thing. I think it was very often a radio commercial as well. It was. It was on the radio. Yeah. I don't think I ever really remember seeing a TV one for Cars for Kids. Because you're both East Coast. Yeah, a little fucking twerp. I did not. I remember hearing it referenced for the first time in the last Week Tonight episode, and I was like, I've never heard this in my life. Really? Yeah. Was he talking about how it was a problem? How it was annoying, yeah. Or how John Oliver grew up on the East Coast of the United States. He lives in New York now, so...

That's what the accent is. Cars for Kids has been going for so long, so if John Oliver's talking about it, I was like, okay, well, if it's about Cars for Kids and John Oliver's involved, that sounds like there's a problem. It's still going, right? It's still going. But what are they doing wrong? I think you were just saying it was annoying. That's so funny you're saying that because I feel like so many things that John Oliver talks about, it's like, here's why this is the worst thing that could possibly be dealing with. It wasn't the topic of an episode. It was like a punchline. Oh, it was like him saying, completely.

Combining two attributes and then putting it on the screen and somebody photoshopped it for him kind of thing you'd like just for yeah Yeah, where it's like wasn't like what's going on at cars for kids, right? Like this is like trying to take my Tonka truck to cars for kids. Yeah something Yeah, if it was a full episode They'd probably be like actually giving the cars to yes and letting them drive and letting them drive and give them a given them a like put them in a car given my like a nip of Jack Daniels and like go

They just say go to where it's time. So, Eddie, you recently add a video that shocked the world and it sent ripples through society in which you talked about the

Well, I'm trying to think of what the actual word was. Deceptive. The deceptive world of Ghost Kitchens. And it was a banger in the analytics section and also a banger in general as a video. Thank you. I appreciate it. I don't know if I made an impact like you were saying, but I do appreciate it. I mean...

I mean, it seemed like it was, wasn't there news articles written about this as well? I heard about it. Yeah, I was mentioned in a Wall Street Journal article about it. That's a pretty deal. Uber, I think, I don't want to even take any credit. Uber made a recent change.

like last, maybe five days ago where they're cracking down on menus that are the same, but like, so you're saying that almost a full month after you made this video that got a lot of attention, a lot of eyes, Uber has now made a change in their policy that reflects the specific thing that you were talking about. And you're trying to pretend like it wasn't, you didn't have a part in it. I just like, I, I,

well, if I heard directly, maybe, but it's like, I don't want to take credit for it because it also was something that was happening anyways. And then I just pointed out. So it's like, I don't want to, I don't want to seem. How about this? You were part of a larger, so, because that must have been. I added to the conversation for sure. I think. I, I don't know. I feel like that sounds pretty convincing to me that that would have affected the,

Because the thing is, like, I actually read a tweet recently on Twitter where... And, you know, sorry. Sorry. Jesus Christ, man. Sorry, guys. Where it was...

Basically some animator that was treated now and they were like hey are if you're a youtuber that makes like hour-long commentary videos or something about Obscure talk of its chances are every animator in the industry has watched your videos Yeah, that and it's and I think that often youtubers You know you don't give ourselves enough credit on especially on topics like this where it's like about a very It's not like a very niche thing. It's like everyone uses DoorDash or Uber eats or something like that I I

I just think it's totally unlikely that someone who works for Uber or Dirt Dresh or something has not seen this. Yeah, I would bet they'd probably see it. Yeah, I don't want to jump the gun and accept too much credit for it, but I do appreciate it. But yeah, it's like, yeah, I would assume somebody at the company when it came out was like, hey, maybe we should send this up somewhere. You know what I mean? But like, I don't know if it, they might have already been implementing that. It's nice though, because it's like, you can't just,

you know, copy the same menu five times in the same building anymore, or at least in the future, near future, you can't. For those of our listeners who haven't actually seen the video, would you be willing to summarize like sort of what you generally were talking about? Uh, yeah, I'll do it like just super quick. Mainly it's like a ghost kitchen is, um, there's like a bunch of different terms for it, but the one we're talking about for, uh, or, uh,

a bunch of different like definitions that can fall under. But the one where Uber made the change is when one kitchen on Uber Eats takes up and pretends to be like a,

like 15 or like 20 or 30 restaurants when they're really just making the same food and then like slightly altering it and making so they'll make like different types of food but they might have like three uh like fish and chips places that are the same exact menu yeah and just kind of take up the real estate and that's what uh uber seemed to crack down on which is cool and so their change was like

How do they enforce it though? I think they're implementing it right now where they said like they're... Like a report system or something like that? Yeah, gonna look for menus that are similar and if those buildings want to offer separate restaurants, they have to have separate menus. I was introduced to this concept of a ghost kitchen, I think, when I was here. Maybe for the first Chuckle Week ever where I hadn't had Bo's Steakhouse enough.

And so I decided I needed to order it. - You got it from a ghost kitchen, right? - I ordered Boa Steakhouse on Uber Eats at this hotel I was staying at. And I was like really hungry, so I kept the app open and I tracked where the driver's at and he's like, "He's picking up your order right now." And I looked. - And you know where Boa is. - That's not where Boa Steakhouse is. What the fuck, where are you? - Yeah, I know where that one is. That one's like right by where I live in LA. - Crazy.

Crazy. Yeah. It just did not come from Boa. Which is weird too because Boa is like a steakhouse with pretty good steaks and stuff. Did you get like good? I got steak. I don't know. I don't remember. It was many years ago. It definitely was not the Kagoshima and Watte and snow beef in that order. From the Haikato region of Japan, the northern region. Cold motherfuckers. Cold motherfuckers. Snowing most of the year. They massage the cows. All day. They massage the cows every day. I got to take you there sometime. Sounds great. You ever been? No. Oh, we're going tonight. Okay.

This will mark the third night. Well, because we went... Chrissy and I have dinner plans, but I would like to... How long are you here for? Just the fifth. Oh, so you guys are working, like, the whole time, huh? Yeah. He's trying to get it out as soon as he's done with his obligations. He...

is allergic to the air here or something. Don't like the city? No. No, not at all. Do you think you've experienced the real city in LA or do you think you've just kind of like seen it in the like maybe where streamers go type deal? Both. I think he's also Pavlovianly trained himself to hate the city of LA because he's talked about how much it's dumb on the podcast that like it's sort of like you keep saying something to the and what's that called when you keep saying something and you believe it?

He's George Costanza. He's George Costanza. Well, because I think there's a lot of... And Ted, I think you'd agree with me here. It's like, one, I understand...

the like the LA hate from a good portion of the country because you're directing the hate at like, like certain like Beverly Hills type or like Instagram influencer type shit. But then there's a very real city with not LA transplants here. That is really awesome. And it's totally cool to hate on the, like, especially the kind of like influencer, like big celebrity side. But there's a fucking cool city here.

You got to experience it more than. Yeah, I'd love to. I'd love to drive and go see something two minutes away walking and it take 30 minutes to get there. I'd love to. I'd love to. See, that's especially between that. It's the same. Like, it's the exact same amount of time to drive. And it's just like a minute.

It's just closer here. So you go five miles per hour in traffic. I think in Texas you actually get to drive and enjoy the open road. Are you a road trip guy? You can't say that it's fun around here to drive. You live in a suburban wasteland. Boom. You live in the definition of late stage capitalist sprawl of post-

What would you say Los Angeles is, if not sprawl? A capitalist paradise. Strip malls on strip malls and...

If we want to talk about walkability, why... Are you talking about more like the area Schlatt lives too? Because I can't speak on like... I haven't seen enough of like Austin or San Antonio or Houston or Dallas. I mean, San Antonio... San Antonio is beautiful. San Antonio was cool. I do recall though, I think from the comments on the Rainforest Cafe video, I think we were in the most walkable area of San Antonio. Wow.

I think that sort of river area is the most ideal part of San Antonio you could be in. So it was a really great spot for us to have this very flowery impression of the city because it was fantastic being down there. That was with the group we went to. I just kept telling them, the other Rainforest Cafes are not like this. This is not where we're mostly going. It was the only three-story one. It was a very unique Rainforest Cafe. St. Ann was a nice one.

Oh, yeah, and we would have not gotten in there if we didn't have the Landry's card because it was a two-hour wait. And it shortens the wait if you have the freaking card. It's in a great spot on that Riverwalk. And then I think because it's like a novelty restaurant, it's like everyone's going to go because it's so on. Especially because it was during the late spring, I suppose, is when we went. We originally talked about that. Goat's Kitchen's in L.A. Yes, Goat's Kitchen's in L.A. You talked about...

in specific to the identical menus, you did this whole thing where you went to one ghost kitchen and you got like seven, nine, nine, nine fish sandwiches of the same fish sandwich. Yeah. Which is, which I just thought was so crazy too because it's like,

How often are people actually going in person to the ghost kitchen? You actually just showed up there and you had nine orders from nine different restaurants and it was the same thing. And they gave you one bag. There's one thing with that too that I sometimes...

I don't really... I feel like the longer we do this, the less comments will bother me. But sometimes when I specifically say something and then people ignore it... When I went to that restaurant, in the voiceover, I believe I said something along the lines of like, I don't think the employee would care, but if they did, this is kind of...

me figuring out their system and then a ton of comments i saw were like funny as hell that eddie thinks some guy just working in the kitchen would like give a shit that he orders nine of the sandwiches like go back to the first half of the sentence it's right there for you i just said i don't think he'll care uh yeah the worst that would happen is like is is the guy just like oh

He's on to something. Yeah, that's really it. Like, I didn't... I just... I was a little nervous because I thought maybe he'd be like, hey, why did you do that? That's it. They're like, no, no. You can't take these sandwiches. Yeah. That is... That's always... I mean, obviously, the heart is coming from a good place. Like, when it comes to, like...

I think I know what you're talking about where it's I experienced something similar with the secret menu item thing that Tucker and I did where there was sort of an air of like, Tucker and I were sort of tonal line there. 'Cause these people are working at a fast food place. They're like, we're making a YouTube video. If you go a little bit too far in the like,

making them like which is why I didn't want them like their faces to show up in the video or anything I didn't want to like there's a certain level of involvement that you can involve other people in a YouTube video where it's like there's a novelty there and then it crosses into like okay this is like kind of exploitive or like this is like wasting their time or like this is not appropriate and so sometimes people would comment and be like

you guys are fucking awful for showing up and trying to order this stuff. But most of the time it was just like we'd roll up, we'd ask, we'd either get denied or we'd get it and then we'd like leave and most of it was just between us talking. But I get what you're saying where it's like,

this person is like the people will be like, oh, there's this guy's just working. They're making, doing his job. That was something that I know we both put into consideration on the, on the road trip is we talked about like, there would be times where we, I think, feel like we'd know like a couple other people working there would probably be down to be like, ask a few questions and it could be interesting. But then we're like, not only like,

the personal like moral optics of being like yeah so perform for me while i'm on this stupid fucking road trip for my job you know like yeah like i brought my dslr but when eddie and i entered the restaurants for rainforest cafe it was like i don't think we ever got over the potential like secondhand embarrassment that we would feel or not even i guess firsthand embarrassment

that we could get of like filming within like a restaurant and not wanting to... Yeah, having a fucking tripod in your hand. I have no idea how during the era of Casey Neistat, how he filmed all over New York and shit. I have no idea how anybody can walk around with a fucking tripod and a DSLR in their hand. Yeah. And like really, I just, I know a lot of people do it and it's like, I just, my whole, the whole time, I'm just like red in the face. Yeah. If I'm obviously shooting something. That's why doing the Milkman videos is like the hardest thing ever.

And I only would do like one a year. It's like interview stuff though, right? So it feels a little bit better. I'm dressed a bit. You wish this motherfucker was shouting on a subway train about milk. Oh. I'm like, yeah. Because the reason why I originally started doing them was because I was inspired by like stuff that Eric Andre and like those like.

Sort of like when he does like the cereal shit. Yeah, like the cereal shit and stuff like that. That was stuff I loved like growing up and like it was something that I wanted to kind of try out for myself and like the milkman kind of ended up becoming a bit like that.

And I think that when it comes to interviewing people in that situation, and I'm gonna, probably by the time this podcast comes out, I'll have released a video that I'm working on where I'm talking about, I wanna talk about the difference between an exploitative street interview versus something where you have an Eric Andre who,

You're being there It's not like an exploitive when you are also being a fool and like putting yourself out there in an embarrassing Circumstances like being dressed as a milkman or being a guy covered in cereal or whatever But I think Tucker you were saying that you read some interview or saw some energy from Eric Andre where he was saying He hates it. He's like it's so hard Yeah, that stuff it's like you really have to kind of like hype yourself up like me getting on that subway train to like

Oh my, like, I was like, but I'm happy how it kind of like turned out. It's by get it. So have you had to do any like, like in public? So I haven't really like of like, I guess because we shoot stuff in public sometimes, but not like, no, it's, is it terrifying to you too? Cause I've never done it. Yeah. I just like, I've never touched it because I couldn't, I feel like I could do it.

Because it's very easy for me to turn on a persona. And then turn off your social anxiety meter. Your visual meter. But at the end of the day, all my shit is just me in a room. Right. So...

How is it like with turning on the persona thing I think is interesting. Because, yeah, I feel like I've seen you like perform for it and then also just be like chill you for it. But I feel like it's very clear when you do it. It's not like a weird like lie or anything. It's like an open book character in a way, right? It's a very bombastic character.

exaggerated version of what I find funny. Yeah. When we turn the camera off, and I've been kind of low energy today, but generally, once we turn the cameras off on the pod, I'll just revert back into... Slump down. I'll deflate. I haven't streamed for...

a while now. I'm not even sure if I, I like streaming, but I don't, I don't know. I have a weird relationship with it. It's not like my main job, but man, when you, when you click stop on like a stream or it's the same, it's like an amplified feeling of when you leave a discord call with your friends for the night where you're just like, Ooh, and I did, I,

In not the last video I did, but the one before it, I fucking had that moment and I had just started recording streams. And so I clicked the stop the wee bowling. Yeah, the wee bowling. I stopped recording, but I didn't end the stream. So I fucking slumped down. I looked at my phone and then I just looked up and saw a chat going like, dude, dude. I put it in the video, but it's like I can't. Even when I was editing it, I couldn't stop cringing just even watching it back. Because like even it's not even for those. It's not even like a.

At those moments when you say bye, it's not even like you're performing, but you just have exerted all the energy you possibly can. Yeah. Because when you interact with someone just in general in the world, I mean, there's so many neurons firing in your brain where it's like you got to keep track of like...

And it changes. It's different for different people. You got to keep track of like all the social cues. You got to keep track of like what are they saying? What's their facial expression? What's going on in their face? Are they happy? Are they sad? Do they hate me? Do they love me? Do they love me? And then when that's done, it's like you can sort of be like, hmm, okay.

It all shuts down. Yeah. For me, it doesn't shut down right where you hit stop streaming. You can relax a little bit, but the mind is still going. So when I was streaming Minecraft daily a couple years ago. Oh, my God. Are you talking about July of 2019? Yeah, I am. When I was. Because that was.

When I was having a full-time job and then coming home and then streaming, and that would be the last thing I did, and then I'd go to bed. I'd have terrible nightmares and reality-melting moments where I'd wake up, ugh.

- Oh. - And I was like, fuck am I live? Did I turn the stream off? - Was your stream in your bedroom at the same time too? - Yeah. - That's brutal. - I think I've had, I've actually had during that period, I've had the same dreams. - Yeah, man. I'd see, sometimes I would see super chats on YouTube and in my dream I'd respond to them while I was just, while I was in my dream. - Oh, was this when you were, this was? - No, this was, I was just switching over to Twitch and like, I don't know. - The most chronically online thing. - Dude, 'cause I would go right to bed, I would sit,

I would stand up from my chair and then walk two steps to the bed and that was it. That was a really weird summer for me too where it really was like for weeks on end it was like the most non-touch grass situation I'd ever been in because I was making money for the first time in a

rate that I'd never done before and so all I needed to do was just show up, play Minecraft for like five hours and then like work on stuff or whatever and then like I would stream and it would be like I was going to bed at like 3am and waking up at like 1 and then just dreaming again and like that. It was ridiculous. It was a ridiculous way to be living but it was...

I mean in the moment it was awesome. Instead of counting sheep you guys are counting Super Chat dollars. Yeah, counting donuts, waking up. That whole peak SMP Live period was just such an interesting, strange part because it was like, it was really truly like living inside the digital world.

And being entirely perceived by so many people in the digital world for like a summer. For the most part, did you guys make content with your face in it at that time? No. Well, I was streaming, but I was still making, I was getting into the commentary kind of stuff. Like I had already been doing commentary, but then I was also just straight up streaming. But like the thing people were mainly coming for at the time was not seeing your face. I was still faceless.

Did you stream your face during it? I think I had a face cam. I wish that I didn't start that way and I didn't have a face cam because the whole thing with streaming is like when you have a face cam on, it's like, it's kind of like what we're doing right now where it's like we're kind of aware that our faces are being seen. But there's something about not having a camera on you when you're streaming and playing a game where you're

It's just another distraction thing and I feel like that just the jokes flow real well when you don't have a face camera. - You focus on the content more. And I found the improv to be really easy. - I don't know if you remember this, when we first met, we had already, I think, I don't know if it was a stream or we had just played like Gunfight and Call of Duty together with a couple people and I just had not seen your face.

And so I remember leaving that and then finding out later that it was you. And I was like, oh shit, like I know him. And I just didn't know in the moment. It was like, I don't know how much you had shown your face at the beginning of 2020 at that point, but I just like hadn't seen it yet. Beginning of 2020. Yeah, I eased myself into face content once COVID started blowing up. Okay. Yeah. I wouldn't have called...

Myself my name, okay, then maybe if I see you met in person. That's what I'm saying is we like we had It was when you guys I could see you introducing yourself with your first name if you met someone in person you guys were out here in the beginning of 2020 and We like whatever house you guys were renting we like visited you at and Ted made burgers Yeah at the I remember the burgers not I didn't make enough of an impression clearly. I

- And Tony was there too. - I remember doing that. I put the truffle salt on there and it was the grill that was upstairs. And I remember Eddie told me, and this was one of the first times we had met, so it meant a lot to me. You were like, "Ted, this is one of the best homemade burgers I've ever had." - It was really good. I still remember it. - Yeah. - Oh. - Yeah. And I was actually taught, that technique was taught to me by Moses Tucker.

Yeah. His influence. He does good meat. He knows how to make meat. Yeah. Ribs too. I want that kind of title, but I don't cook enough. I want to know my meat. I don't know about you guys, but I think that there's not many things in this world that I desire more. I mean, obviously I want to buy a house, but not really because I want to own a house. I mean, screw that. Owning property? Fuck that. What I want...

is a space in which I can have a grill and a smoker so I can make meat whenever I want. My mouth is watering thinking about it right now, like legitimately. I need to swallow. Okay. So you were talking about a house, by the way. Brisket. In a backyard. Brisket. Of your own. Not an apartment. A house. Yeah. Yeah.

Come to Texas. Okay, see, I knew where he was going with this. It was going to be a routing into that. You know that those exist in California. You know we do barbecue better than anybody else. Terry Blacks. I don't know what that is. I could only assume that that's what he was... I didn't know it either. I love the idea that it has nothing to do with barbecue, but your fucking move is like, read the fucking hand.

And then Scott put in just like a photo of barbecue onto the... But yeah, that's just, I don't know. I don't know where they came from and I don't know how I ended up in that, but that's just how I... Oh, because I made the burgers. I want, yeah, just grass to be able to sit on. That's my only... That's it. That doesn't cost $5 million for a square foot. Yeah, yeah, no. I'll agree with you. The housing I hate here, it's terrible, but... Yeah. Yeah.

But that's not because of the real part of the city. If there's something I could do where I could influence society so that the demand was reduced without any of the cons and that prices for houses would go down for me. Uh-huh.

You wouldn't do it for everybody? You'd just do it for me? Well, I'd do it for you too because I like you. Okay, so just kind of a favor-based system. So kind of how it currently works. Well, yeah, but it doesn't help me right now. So that's why I don't like it. Have you tried being born rich? Because that could help you. I've tried, but I mean, the first time I tried it, it didn't initially work.

And I don't know if reincarnation is a thing. So, I mean, I still got, I don't know how much time to... Invent a time machine and keep trying to, like, give your dad suggestions. Yeah, like... Fuck, man, I want to buy a... Yeah, this whole Macintosh thing seems like it might be going somewhere. Maybe you should... What year are you doing this? I don't know. I guess the 70s? Like, early 70s? I don't know. But then I'd have to, yeah...

I think there's a lot of room for mess up there. Yeah. Oh, yeah. With time travel. They made a couple movies on that, actually. Really? I don't have a hat on. It's just like a point in my head. Yeah, no. Time travel seems like it would be a messy thing. I don't know if people have talked about it at all. You need to kill a lot of people for this house thing to really happen where the prices would go down. I just feel like I need to say that. Carbon dioxide into a barn with a bunch of people. Yeah, and then heat it up. Ultimately kill them. That's fucked up, Eddie.

That actually, I was referring to the chickens, but it really does say. That actually just sounds like some really awful historical shit. Yeah, yeah. I don't feel really bad about it. I was making a, if you didn't see the beginning of the podcast. It was a chicken reference, everyone. It was a chicken reference. Bird flu. Bird flu. And he is not a bad guy. He is a very honorable person. If we're talking about the people who are currently buying up all the real estate in the United States, these are up people's rents. Zillow. Like Zillow as a company. What I'll say to them was not what I said before, but.

Read the hat. Read the hat. Put a hat on me or something. Yeah, put a hat on. But not an image. A real CGI hat that turns with my head and matches the lighting. Get in the blender, Scott, and start working. So...

Eddie, you were begging to come on this podcast. You asked me last minute. You had so many things that you really wanted to tell us about that were just racking and bouncing around in your brain like a game of pong. Like what? We talked about it before. What do you remember from that conversation that I begged to be on? You really want to talk about what was going on in the water. In the water? Where? Where?

On earth. I heard the water here isn't good to drink. No, yeah, that's just another... Isn't it not good in Texas, too? No, it's great in Texas. Well, it can't be good the whole state, right? No, save for the brain-eating amoebas that were present not too long ago. It's generally... Well, we should talk about including those things. Like, we shouldn't... No, well, they're gone. They're gone? They're gone. They went away. Did you check? Yeah. Everywhere? Everywhere?

- In Austin, there's no more. - Okay. - So we lose power sometimes when it gets too cold. - We do too now. - Yeah, that's a new thing here. - Yeah, we discovered what that's like. - New stuff, 'cause we're on our own power grid and everything, I mean, we don't get help. We can't get help. - Right. - So the purification system dies and then the brain eating amoebas are released. - They're eventually gonna show up. - Yeah.

It's an inevitability. It is. It is. But as long as we keep the power up, I mean, as long as every year we stop having once-in-a-lifetime winter events, which hasn't stopped since I moved here and actually started the first night I moved to Texas. Yeah. Woke up the first full day of being a Texan. One of the first episodes of Chuckle Sandwich 2. No power, no water, no nothing. Damn. Yeah. Day one. Day one.

Yeah, he survived on jerky. Jerky. And false hope in McDonald's lines that ended with just a stupid man at the front of it who just didn't realize they weren't open. Oh, I remember that story. I feel like I saw that animated. Did somebody animate that story? You did, yeah. I think I saw it animated on TikTok. God, I wouldn't watch the channel, so, you know. Yeah, yeah. I'll see it somewhere else when somebody re-uploads it. Wouldn't be caught dead doing that. Yeah, yeah, no. No, of course not.

That's the last time I'll do that. For some reason... I've been pointing at my head. Oh, love your death. For...

When you did the double hands there, it looked like, instead of it being like a one, it looked like it all suddenly became a, like a, in my visual head, it became like a safari-like hat all of a sudden. Yeah. CGI one of those, and again, can't be a PNG. It can't. It has to be a full, it has to follow the goalie. Look at how, like, you specified that, like, where it was like, you were giving our editor, like, no.

You're giving our editor like no option out of it like you're like you need to do this the hard way. Oh, whoa Yeah, okay. Oh, I'm gonna break it apart. Okay, and I'm slowly falling for pulling pieces off Wait, okay, and then then let me grab them spinning around in the air. Okay, now we got a vortex gone Wow amazing visual effects here from you guys. Oh

Thank you, Scott. Thank you for doing that. It could very well just be text on screen like, I'm not doing any of this shit. That's fine. I have a theory that is, there's a crazy conspiracy theory that stairs, especially really big flights of stairs, have magnets in them. And since old people carry around chains, that's why they're always falling down and so off.

I thought you were going to say because of all the metal they have. That could be it, too. That's more likely if they have metal in their hip. There's just a magnetic pole to hold people in stairs. The coins is what makes people trip. But they do tumble, though, so I guess they don't really hug. It's funny seeing that. Ted, you ever seen it? I used to make bets on it when I was a kid. Well, yeah, because we lived near a sort of a retirement home that had a really, I mean, Tucker knows about this. It was Shady Lane's.

I don't know what you're talking about. The retirement home in the northern part of town that had the really long staircase that the old people, when they were leaving their dorms and they would go down to where the bingo was held. It was like a hundred stair staircase. I'm just confused on how you don't remember this. You and I would get lunch at...

You and I would get lunch during the free period, and we would drive down there, and we would eat lunch in the back of the truck, and we would watch these people, and then we would bet on which one. It's in the East Coast. They're like horse tracks. They even paint the stairs, and then you bet on which one's going to fall first. Yeah, and they wear the same thing every day, so you know you can...

They tumble too, but they're yeah, they do it as a sport so they know Usually you would hope that the people at the top of the stairs go because then it's usually kind of like a bowling alley kind of effect Where you hear pins? Sound of like the dentures falling down the stairs Yeah, I'm surprised you don't remember that I mean, I think you were cheating on me with another friend. Oh

Drama. We can talk about it tonight. Yeah, I guess we'll talk about it tonight. I'm not going home. I won't let you go to bed angry tonight. That nursing home bedding got real fun around COVID. This extra level of bedding. Thank you. Cuomo was the winner. Governor Cuomo. And Cuomo was the winner. Yeah. Come on, man. What do you got? What? What?

My grandma lived through it. Have some class, like, betting on old people falling down stairs. I mean, come on, man. What are you talking about? What are you talking about? I'm so sorry. I'm sorry about that. Yeah, I didn't know this episode would be so crass. Give me that squeezer. Give me that squeezer. Is that how you get your anger out? Yeah. What a sound on that. It sounds sad. It does. It does sound like a... It's like a wine. It's like that episode, SpongeBob, where he gets rubber boots. You'll feel it in your forearm if you do that enough. Oh, yeah.

They're squeezing like a Squeezer yeah, we're squeezing the squeeze. You know if you're having trouble picturing what we're doing. We're Imagine the best squeezing you've ever seen and imagine them squeezing that's it yeah So you just squeeze it squeezing the shit out of a squeezer, and I did bite my tongue And that's why I stopped the word there. Yeah, and it did hurt, and I'm talking through it. You should talk through your pain you should and oftentimes

Oftentimes pain comes when you have to deal with important questions and deciding between two or more things usually two Eddie when you were filming this ghost kitchen video and you ordered that sandwich nine times What was the sandwich you ordered it was a let me see if I can remember the exact order it was a beer battered cod okay with its lemon and herb aioli Slaw

pickles and a brioche bun. You know what's funny is that you I'm not surprised you remember that at all because of how often how many times you had to say it in the video. I think I fucked it up there though. I don't get didn't get the air. Is it was it like red cabbage slaw? Were you missing something? I'm like on the did I say the fish? Yeah like on top of the fish. Yeah you said the beer battered cod. Oh yeah. But like maybe like a I don't know like a like another condiment like a strip of bacon. Eddie would you rather have unlimited bacon but no more

video games, or would you rather have games? Unlimited games. Unlimited games. But no games. But no games. Think about it. I'm thinking about it. Here, Ted, can you also repeat it just so I can know? Sure, yeah. I mean, I will say that I thought that Schlatt

I just need such a tough question. Should I say one more time? No, no, no. Ted can try it. Okay. I just want to make sure I fully grasp my options here. Eddie Burbeck, would you rather have unlimited bacon but no more video games or games, unlimited games but no games? Unlimited games but no games.

Because on the one hand, you do have the bacon in no games. And then on the other hand, you have unlimited games, but no games. Well, you said the bacon, but no games. But you need to make sure... Unlimited bacon. Yes. All the bacon I could ever want in no games. Or unlimited games and no games. Seems pretty clear to me. Cut and dry, some might say. Yeah. Crystal. I would... Crystal Pepsi Crystal. I would say...

That I would, um, that unlimited games so I could play all the games. Um, but there's also no games. Yeah, there's an error in that logic there. Yeah, and then Unlimited Bacon, I can't choose that because I'm a gamer. It's a tough choice. No games, but then it's, on one hand, there's the unlimited games, but then none of the games. Yeah.

You're struggling on this more than most people. So are we talking... How about... What about something like Mario Kart? Yeah. Because it's unlimited. So I get that's a part of the unlimited choice. Mario. I don't want to hear this East Coast Mario shit. No, I was just saying his name. I didn't mean to listen. It's Mario. He doesn't say it's a me, Mario. Mario.

Mario and Luigi. So yeah, you'd have him in the unlimited variety, but there'd also be none of it. Mario and Luigi and Francis Pich. I'm going to go with... Can I sell some of my unlimited bacon to buy games?

What do you think but no more games mean? I just don't think that Schlatt stuttered is all that I'm saying. It's so hard. I've said this question so precisely every time. It was like you were accurate at a microscopic level. Quantumania. This is that true pain you were talking about. I'm going to go with unlimited games because I love games. Okay. And I love playing games.

But there's a... There's a problem with that. But it's okay. You can commit to that. I... This isn't the final answer. You know, this isn't actually going to happen to you, though. This is a hypothetical. What's that? So I don't have to pick? No, you do have to pick. But it's not going to help me? No, it's not going to happen to you. It's not going to happen to me. So would you rather question? Oh, so pass, I don't care.

Oh, if it's just for your show, then I don't... Did you say pass, I don't care? Yeah, if it's just for your show, and it doesn't affect me, then I don't care. Well, if you don't answer, I'll be mad. I'll be mad and it will affect your social standing with me. Pass. What the fuck? Huh? This is... I've never...

You can't pass. You can't do this. You can't pass, I don't care. You can't do this, Eddie. You can't pass, I don't care. If you can't enforce it, then pass. Did you think we could enforce it? Were we going to kill you if you didn't answer it? What did you think was going on before? I can get you unlimited bacon. Directly? You can't get me unlimited bacon? No. So we're wasting my time as a guest. And

And look straight in the camera. Pass. I may have misspoke. Pass. I may have misspoke here. We can, with all the money that Chuckle Stamps makes, make sure this happens for you.

Pass I don't care. I just- Who the fuck says pass I don't care? It's not even like the fact that he's saying pass. It's the fact that he's saying I don't care immediately after. You're saying pass- You're saying I don't care right after pass is what's making it far more offensive. Pass I don't give a shit. Then you know what? I fucking quit. How did you manage to knock everything over? I mean it's not my show so again sorry. Sorry if you're a fan of the show. Sorry. Slad's gone.

Really whittled it down to one of three. So if you had to choose, if you had to choose, man, you really just fucking ended Chuckle Sandwiches now, didn't you? What part of the sandwich are you? Perhaps cyanide? Perhaps a poison? A...

Something that destroys? Just a gun. Just a gun. Right in between. Okay, so Eddie Burback. Thank you so much, Eddie Burback, for coming on Chuckle Sandwich. He's the gun in the Chuckle Sandwich. Right next to the notion of a man using a scythe to cut grass from Danny Gonzalez. Thanks a lot for that one, Danny. See you next time.

Why didn't you cut it out? I just don't even... What is that? I've just gotten to a point, man. I know, but you're supposed to do it once. If you keep doing it, it's like you... Thanks so much, Eddie, for coming on this... Are you kidding me? I'm facing you. You're getting faced right now. Yeah, man. Thanks for watching Chuckle Sandwich.

Schlatt's gone. He's fucking dead. They killed him off camera. They killed him. They took him. He went right to the guillotine. He just dropped to his knees and then they just pulled the rope. Didn't pick up the audio because, you know, he's not a fist away from the mic. Okay. It picked it up. Yeah. That was delayed. It was like when you cut off someone's head and then like a chicken's head and they run around for 15 seconds. Okay. Oh, he's saying help me. These were his last thoughts when he... These were his last thoughts. Can't reattach that.

Okay. That's a long... Seems deep there, but he doesn't have the... It sounds like he's sort of in a bin, like a metal bin. Yeah, yeah. But thanks so much for joining us on this episode of Chuckle Sandwich. This has been Eddie Burbeck. Thanks so much for being on here. We will not see you guys in the next episode, I guess. Bye. Bye.