Dreadful "Would You Rather" Questions
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I'm a little bit hungover today, Shalant, for this recording. I'll admit it. I'll admit it. I'm a little bit hungover.

Look at me. Why? What happened to you? You look terrible. I was at the Streamies last night, and let me tell you, open bar. Open bar before and open bar after at the after party. And I may have made a bit of a fool out of myself. Why were you at the Streamies? Did you win anything? No, no. Actually, Chuckle Sandwich wasn't even nominated as a podcast, so I suppose you could say we lost. We lost to, I think it was Jay Shetty. Who's that?

That's like a Walmart version of me. That could absolutely, when you say it fast, could sound like Jay Shetty. Yeah, I mean, you get enough drinks in you like last night, and then the two just start to sound exactly the same. What happened? It wasn't good. It wasn't good. What'd you do? Well, I met, I pretty much formally met Link...

You met Link Neal? And then I started singing one of the songs. Oh, you started singing this. You started singing My OCD? I straight up stood there in front of Link and I went, it's my belly button, my belly belly button. And then he went, yes, I am a nerd bookworm. I'm studious.

I didn't do that one, but I kind of wish I did because that would have made everyone uncomfortable. Because they wouldn't know where it was coming. Like I start growling like that. Welcome to Chuckle Sandwich.

it's a funny story yeah dude he probably thought it was weird he probably did like wow he definitely did and i don't know why i thought it was like okay i guess it was because i was like we're all here together and i didn't realize i kind of just kind of forgot who i was talking to at the same time being completely heavily aware of who i was talking to bro that's like if someone came up to me and started like saying a tribute to minecraft dude like i would have been like yep you

You really, yeah, you know it. I think it would be a little bit weirder if somebody started just reciting the script to the tribute to Minecraft. I feel like that's a little bit harder to memorize than a song. Well, no, I mean, maybe like Elon, are you okay then?

Yeah. Yeah. And then he put it on a... About a year ago. And then he put a car in a rocket. Yeah, put a car in a rocket and shot it in a fucking space. Yeah. Are you still drunk? Right now? Yeah. When I woke up this morning, it was one of those like hangovers where you wake up and you still kind of feel like you're a little drunk, you know? Yeah. Where it was like, I wasn't like, I'm not like sick. I'm just in a haze of regret. Right. I'm in a haze of like, what? Oh, man. What?

What are the weird things I said to people? You know what I'm pissed off about? What are you pissed off about? One, fucking Jay Shetty.

I have a new mortal enemy. I don't know who the fuck that is. That's crazy. He's like your Squilliam is what he is. He's my Squilliam. He's fucking Squilliam Fancy, son. Jay Shetty. Jay Shetty. Come on, bro. And you're going to run into him. He's just going to be speaking normally. And then all of a sudden he's going to go, uh-huh, uh-huh, uh-huh.

Oh, man. And I'm going to be like, oh, man, he's hot. Yeah, he's going to take his shirt off all of a sudden. He's going to be ripped. He's going to have just washboard abs. That is something that you would probably say, too. That would fit in the Jay Schlatt canon of you saying, oh, no, he's hot. Two, why didn't I get a streamy? I watch videos better than anyone else. For what? What would you get a streamy for? Most genuine reactions. Most genuine reactions.

Yeah. Can I give you a little bit of knowledge, Ted? That you never live stream your reaction videos anymore? No, no, no. The last three videos on my channel have been completely wasted. I believe that. Yeah. I believe that. Completely wasted. I don't know how. Like one step away from passing out. Like I was blacked out. One step away from passing out? Recording all those, I don't remember any of it. God, you're going to actually make people worried about you if you keep saying shit like this, man. Are you serious? Yeah.

Okay, that's a smile and a lack of response. All right, Chucklers, welcome back to another episode of...

Chuckle sandwich. We're back once again. And we came. You. Rap. Okay. Sorry, we weren't doing that. We weren't doing that. Not yet. We agreed before that. We're just going to point and say it at the same time. I don't remember saying that at all. Dude, well, you're drunk. Okay. I'm not. I'm hungover. I'm going to tell you a little something I read on Huberman's lab. Okay. If you keep drinking instead of getting a hangover, it never comes. Yeah. Nah.

You just stay drunk. You never have the bad effects of it. Yeah, a tale as old as time. Beauty and the Beast. Put that in your pipe and suck on it. Andrew Huberman taught me all about that. He's a scientist. Welcome back, Chucklers, to another episode of Chuckle Sandwich. We're here a week after the last episode. Can you believe it? We are back on schedule. Cool the jets. Cool the jets, man. You're getting...

Hold it hold it because oh my god. He's so we're we are back and we're doing another episode of Come on man, you know you did what is what is that? It didn't seem like you were ready you Rather

Yeah, this is a very popular one you guys know how it works we do a chuckle week and then we come back to the discord podcast and we Fall back into our little old ways and these episodes do well too. Do you guys listen like listening to them? so we gave Tucker about an hour and a half to scour the internet and he has supposedly come back to us as a little cherub with his little wings and

And he's brought us some delectable would-you-rathers. Is that true, Tucker? Yep. We've got quite the list. Oh, baby. I suppose we should just start off with the first one. Hit us, Tucker. We're ready to decide what we would rather do. All right. First one is would you rather have access to only 10 songs for the rest of your life or only five movies? Movies. Movies.

What? Really? What the hell? How often are you watching? Ted. Ted. This is ridiculous. Do you understand what I went to school for? Oh, yeah. You want to make movies. Yeah. Across roads. Yeah. No, it makes more sense. It makes more sense. The road less traveled. Wait, what did you guys each say? I would live on five movies. I don't give a shit. I feel like I could live off of 10 songs. No, you couldn't. I'll name them right now. You couldn't. I'll name them right now.

Whatever that song is that she will tear you down. Living La Vida Loca. That's number one. La Vida Loca? Yeah, La Vida Loca. Number two would be a happy birthday song. So I can sing happy birthday to people when it's their birthday. Number three would be... It would be... It's my belly button. The belly button song from Rhett and Link. Number four would be...

Number four would be the Canadian National Anthem. Nerd versus geek. Number five would be the United States National Anthem because I'm patriotic, of course. Number six would be... Steve Jobs versus Bill Gates, epic rap battle. No. No.

Jay Schlatt, My Way? No, no. Actually, yes. Number six would be Jay Schlatt, My Way, A.I. Cover. Number seven would be Adolf Hitler versus Darth Vader, Epic Rap Battles. That was number seven. What's that number eight? That's a pick. The next one would be Bambi by Hippocampus. Next one after that would be Wood...

the chuckle sandwich theme song and then the final one I believe would be and this is the most I can't stress this enough this is the most important one and I know exactly what it is because I'm not delaying in any capacity right now it is going tribute to be tribute from Tenacious D

You know, I really didn't think that out of the 10 songs you'd want to keep with you forever, one of them would have Hitler in it. And two of them will be national anthems for countries. One of them I don't live in. Yeah. But hey, I mean, sure.

I've got Spotify open every fucking second of my life, Ted. And I don't think I could do that. I don't have movies playing in the background, though. So, I mean, fuck that. Give me Terminator, Terminator 2, Terminator 3, Terminator 4, and the fucking spinoff and I'm good. Okay. Bye. You're just looking for the living flesh over metal endoskeleton.

Go to your happy place for a happy price. Go to your happy price, Priceline.

And that scene with throwing the thumbs up as it's sinking into the lava. Yeah, he's gone. He's gone. I've got actually... There's actually kind of a little bit of a funny story about this. You know how sometimes you just do a bit? Do you find yourself doing bits even though they're not for content? Because sometimes, you know, maybe you put all your comedy into your work.

But sometimes I do bits in my daily life. Sometimes I like to be a little silly. I did this bit with Eddie as we were driving into New York City while we were on the Margaritaville trip where I just started playing just random songs and I was telling them that they were

like classic New York songs. So I was just playing a bunch of them. One of them was Viva La Vida Loca. And I was playing that. I was like, oh, this is a classic New York song. Eddie's like responding. He's like, yeah, no, this is no, no, no, this isn't a New York song and stuff. But then, but then without any warning, as we're about to go through the Lincoln Tunnel,

The next verse of that song comes up and he says, woke up in New York City. And all of a sudden we realize it is a New York song. Viva La Vida is a New York song. God damn. So I was very happy about that. And that's really why I chose it on my list. That's like one of the best known New York City songs. That's what people think of. That's fair.

I mean, still, dude, I mean, like, you got TV, too. You got YouTube. Like, I feel like out of all those three, I watch movies the least. So it's an easy thing for me. Yeah, I really do. That's a tough one, though, because I love music and I love movies.

I mean, you want to be a director. Yeah. It would kind of be a bit of a roadblock because then I wouldn't be able to edit the movie. Once I've made more than five, I wouldn't be able to edit. You can only make five in the movie. Yeah. I have to just trust that it was good and just trust word of mouth when it comes out. And like, I can't go to the premiere. I can't do any of that. Yeah, no, that'll... Yeah, I think that's a...

But you're not a movie guy, and you like your songs. I'm a big movie guy. You like your songs. I'm a big movie guy. I like the Terminator series, and I like Christopher Nolan movies only. There you go. I think that's pretty much, that's cut and dry right there. Yeah, I mean, Tenet. Let me watch Tenet five times, I'm happy. Forward and backwards. Same thing. Yeah, I think that that's our answer. I think that that is our answer.

That's our answer. That's our fucking answer. Yeah. Sorry, I had to, I felt like I needed to add some conviction into that. What do you got? What's the next one, Tucker? All right. Would you rather go without shampoo for the rest of your life or without toothpaste for the rest of your life? Oh, fuck. Without shampoo, I guess.

Yeah, they're those weird guys. They're those fucking weird guys who are like, I live, I've never shampooed my hair and they look disgusting, but apparently there's some benefits to it. Yeah, it's like the natural oils in your hair will start coming back or something like that. I'm all about hygiene, right? Why'd you put the emphasis on the gene part of hygiene?

I'm all about hygiene. So whenever, you know, like I never said that word before. The first thing I notice about someone is if their breath fucking stinks, I'll be like, damn, that sucks. I don't, you don't smell the hair like, and just put conditioner. It depends. I mean, if you haven't showered in a long time, you will smell the hair. There is a, there's a certain level of smell. And I know this because I used to, I used to, I'm not going to specify anything about it, but I used to know someone that was not showering.

- Oh, okay. - And it would get to the point where it was like, you know that when you haven't showered in a couple days and it's like there's that scalpy smell? You know what I'm talking about? - Yeah, like right now. - The scalpy smell. - Yeah, yeah. - Imagine that but radiating off of the person like it was an aura. - That's fair. - Like they were an anime character about to get into a fight and they were really powerful except the power was coming from their scalpy hair smell.

Yeah. So I get it. But I think one of the, and this, you could consider this to be like maybe a little bit of a, like a, like a cheating scenario for this. Would you rather, but you, you didn't say conditioner. So like you could use conditioner.

Or you could just go bald. Problem solved, man. Total option, yeah. No, you could. At least you're not fucking SpongeBob after that ice cream sundae. Yeah, and then on the other side of it, with the toothpaste thing, you could just get rid of all your teeth. Just be gummy. Just be gum man. Just be gummy. Yeah. Just be gummy. Just be gummy. No, it's fine. Gummy. So what was your choice, though? I would go without the shampoo probably.

probably because yeah going at the shampoo yeah i don't want i like i like hygiene i don't want to be this is my second spongebob reference but i don't want to be spongebob after he ate that sandwich and he's got the fucking stink coming off of him everyone's gonna people will be walking by and there's that that one that guy fred or whatever and he's like he's his nostrils like flare up and he's like yeah that's gross yeah i know i just put the urn on now look

What? Oh, dude. Tucker's face lit up when he saw that. Tucker looked like a kid in a candy store for just a moment in time. What happened? What happened? It looked like Christmas morning for Tucker right there. He was like a child again. Audio listeners love you to death. Schlatt just flashed his...

Original. Original. His original royal blue Scott the Woz crew neck that's just got like a badly printed image of Scott the Woz on it. Yes, sir. Where did you get that? Yeah.

Years and years ago for his charity auction drive. Dude, it looks like something that something may be handed out at like at like your childhood friend's Midwestern birthday party. Like, yeah, but I mean, that kind of adds up because he's from Ohio. So, yeah, that's fair. It makes sense. It makes sense. I was a boyish twink when I bought this. So I kind of outgrew it a little bit. Thank you for clarifying what state you were in when you bought it.

I'm glad. It's good to know what state of mind you're in. No, that's where Scott lives. Scott lives in Ohio. Scott lives in Ohio. I know that. Scott DeWas lives in Ohio. No, no, the state you're in as in your boyish

Twink state. Oh, right. Yeah. Well, I just said a state before, so it was completely reasonable to assume you were talking about the same thing. I should have clarified it was about a state of mind and not one of the sovereign United States of America. You should have said, yeah, your state of fuckability. Yeah. Much more fuckable back then. I'm uncomfortable. Next one, Tucker. No, it's true. He was. Oh, okay.

And that's why he grew the chops because he was too fuckable. He was so fuckable he had to take... Too fuckable. He went to DEFCON 1 in days. In days. I ate all that food for you guys, too. Thank you. It's just one big bit. Okay, here we go. All right, what do we got next, Tucker?

Would you rather have to speak in rhyme for the rest of your life or have to speak in riddles for the rest of your life? Oh, riddles any day of the week, man. Riddles any fucking day of the week. Because nobody, because what's the definition of a riddle? It could be a bad riddle. So you could just speak like an insane person the whole. I know, but talking in riddles, you already sound like a fucking insane person. And then no one, you would never be able to say what you actually mean.

Everything you say would oh you say what you mean it just takes people a little bit longer to figure it out I'd rather do that than have to sound like a fucking nursery rhyme character 90% of my life No, but no, no, but then talking to you and and having you around becomes a chore Ted you become a bore Ted Yeah, but then if I'm hanging with you, I want to snore Ted if I'm rhyming all the time It's like nothing. I will do will be sublime. I don't even know if that makes sense See like this is a problem like I like did that even rhyme?

Time and sublime? You're unsure if they rhymed? I'm not sure if you're equipped. I wasn't going to finish that. I wasn't going to rhyme again. Yeah, no, I was kind of waiting for you to. Yeah, I realized that I had rhymed in that sentence, but. Yeah, now it's awkward. I really didn't meant this sentence.

I don't know man I'm trying to like rhyme but it's not working this is terrible this is why I need to speak in riddles and half the time I feel like people think I am speaking in riddles because I'll start saying something and it'll come out of my mouth and then people will be like Ted what the fuck did you just say and I'll be like you know your guess is as good as mine you know you don't need to say a riddle and actually know the answer you know I could just then you just then it's just like why the fuck am I even hanging with this person

And it's like, I don't want to ever see him again. Because half... He can... I know he only speaks in riddles, but half the time, he doesn't even know what the fuck he's saying to begin with. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So why do I even bother? There's this thing my dad... My dad was into Facebook for a bit. He was really into Facebook for a bit. And Tucker's gonna love this because this is something I've never had a chance... And my parents listen to the podcast, so he's probably gonna hear this and be like, Ted, what the fuck are you doing? But my dad is...

He's cooled off a little bit, but back in the day, he was very much so touting his conservative values on Facebook. But he would say something. He'd respond to a news article or something. And then his mutual friends of the more liberal variety would respond and be like, Ted, this doesn't make any sense. And then he'd reply in these riddles. He'd say like...

I don't even remember what it was, but half the time the stuff wasn't making any sense. Like it was a joke just for him. Like it was like something he was like, he wrote this and he was like, man, that's awesome. But it was like no one else got it.

And Tucker was a big fan of this because he would always, this was like, I guess this must have been around when Facebook first released the concept of reactions to comments. So I would see these posts from my dad and then all of, like the post and then all of my dad's replies and comments would have a wow reaction from Tucker. Like with the open mouth thing, it would be like. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

Sometimes it's sad sometimes we're talking about throw a sad in there just to keep things interesting But yeah, no, so, you know, it kind of runs in the family a little bit Which is why I feel like I'm pretty equipped to be speaking in riddles is that I could just I could just start saying, you know Who do you think you were before you knew who you wanted to be? I mean, come on. Come on Who do you think you were before you knew who you wanted to be think about it? Uh-huh I don't know what I don't want to hang with you anymore. I

That's such a specific problem that you've illustrated with this riddle thing is that once you start riddling... It's everything. Yeah, I agree. Everything you say has to be riddles. I just don't... I feel like there's a quirky aspect to the riddling thing. I am hungry. I want Skittles. There's a mystery. I'm just going to water the fridge with that one. I feel like there's a mystery to the riddler.

You can call yourself the Riddler too, which is cool. And you could dress in a green suit. But there's a mysterious aspect to the Riddle person where it's like, oh, this guy, you got to meet this guy. He doesn't make... Nothing he says makes sense, dude. He's speaking in riddles all the time. He's like a medieval character. He's like a... He's like a... He's...

He is like from a mythical tale. And then it's like on the other side of it, it's like, oh, we got to fucking hang out with Humpty Dumpty again. He's going to start doing nursery rhymes. He's going to start. I don't want to speak to someone where it feels like I'm having a conversation with someone who's actively acting in a children's TV show. Like no one wants that. Now try and get that point across while talking a fucking riddle, you dumbass.

Anything could be a riddle though. What if I, what if, what if, what is a riddle at the end of the day? Come on. I don't know, Ted. Hard to say. See, that was a riddle right there. What is a riddle more than just a question posed in confusing terms? Don't sigh. Like you, like you've got it all figured out or something. We're talking about if you want to rhyme for your whole life, if you want a riddle for your whole life. You're just a lot, Ted. I'm a lot? You're a lot. I'm a lot. You're a lot.

Okay, fine. So you can rhyme for the rest of your life and I will be a mysterious riddle character that everyone wants around and wants at every party because I'm mysterious and cool. Okay? No, because you're a fool. That doesn't count. You can't just rhyme with what I said. Ted.

Stop. What are you doing? Tucker, what do you think is better? I need an answer, though. Schlatt's so right, dude. What? Fuck you. Imagine I'm introducing you. I merge in my worlds, and I bring you to a party with friends you've never met. I'm like, I've got to brief them first. I'm like, listen, this guy, he's a nice guy, but...

He's really into riddles. He's not going to talk to you if he's not riddling. Yeah. If somebody rhymes, it's like, yeah, he rhymes. Whatever. I feel like part of me is so interested of like... I know this is a would-you-rather, but I'm very curious about what the context for both of these scenarios... How did someone end up in this scenario? Did they make a bad deal with a genie or something where they just have to riddle for the rest of their lives? But also, either one of those, Tucker, you're going to have to give a rundown. But one of them is like...

This guy rhymes in everything he's saying, and that's kind of creepy. I feel like there is a creepiness to that where it's like they're speaking normally, but it's like, oh, there's too much of a synchronicity to what they're saying here. But you can be like, listen, I know it's kind of creepy, but trust me, he's not creepy. He's a cool guy. He just has to. Yeah, he has to. The real guy, it's like, no, you don't get it. He has to.

He's gotta do it. But riddles, like, if you got a dumb friend or like friends who just don't want to participate, they're gonna be like, "I don't want to have to figure out this fucking riddle again." What if the rhyme guy like gets... Like what if he has like an anger issue thing? Like if someone interrupts him before he finishes his rhyme, he starts freaking out. Well, I think it'd like hurt. Wouldn't it hurt if he couldn't get the rhyme out? What, he takes like damage like he's poisoned in Minecraft? What do you mean?

I don't know. It's a spell, isn't it? Like he gets interrupted and he's like, what was that? And he's like, sorry, apologies. I can't even think of riddles right now, man. I'm hungover. I'm not in rhyme mode. Fuck you. Fuck you both. I think riddles are funny. I like my eggs runny. Fuck, dude. Come on. Okay, we're moving on.

Would you rather be reincarnated as a sea creature or an airborne creature? That's a tickle. That's a tickler. That's a tickler for sure. Three, two, one. Airborne. I'd rather be an airborne creature so I could fly to church and go see the preacher and then go to school and talk to my teacher. Oh, okay. You've got like a little bit. But I'm stuck on this podcast with Ted the leecher. Come on.

Damn. Okay. Yeah. No kidding. I suppose there is a bit of a, going back to the other one, I suppose there is a bit of a mic drop aspect to,

Like where if you ever wanted to say something that you really meant, people would be like, damn, that rhymed. So I feel more convinced now than before. It enhances what you're saying sometimes. Yeah. I guess on one side, you've got the riddle person and the caveat that you have to give the friends is like, yeah, no, he doesn't make any fucking sense. And he's speaking of riddles. He's making up riddles as he goes. And he doesn't even check if they make sense. And the other one, it's like, he's really convincing. And we don't know what it is, but he's really convincing. Yeah.

If the Riddler and the Rhymer got together, they could probably make incredible music.

Oh shit, you're right. And that's why we keep you on the podcast, Tucker, because you've got fucking bangers like that. You've got banger quotes like that. Dude, I feel like I don't feel as strongly about this as the Ryan versus Riddle thing. I like the idea of flying around a little bit. The water seems a little bit too, I mean, like what's going on there? If I'm still a human, I still have human thoughts, I'd rather be like in a bird or something where I could just like see shit instead of just the water.

Instead of CC? Yeah, I guess it's kind of a tough one. I suppose I'd probably actually want to be the bird thing. Being able to fly is pretty cool. And I feel like if you were a sea creature, you kind of have to deal with living in muck. I feel like most sea creatures are mucky. You know what I mean?

Yeah. Like, I don't know if I want to have a mucky existence. You know, I run the risk of getting, thinking I'm about to eat a nice little piece of cheese and all of a sudden I'm unable to breathe and in a different world.

Yeah, no. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No, no. Yeah. I think I'd be a bird. I suppose the first thing that came to my mind when I was thinking about the bird thing, when I was like, man, I wouldn't want to have like hollow bones though. That would seem like it might be like a drag and like birds have like hollow bones. You want a hollow bones, man. Birds actually have very little drag when they fly to the air.

Damn. Yeah. That's fair. You just got bested again. That's why their bones are hollow. Touche. So they can't fly. I'll be honest. I'll say touche to that. Touche. Touche. Touche. Touche.

Do you want to have hollow bones? Like, that feels like that'd be kind of a bummer. I don't care. I don't care. You don't... I don't care. Do you understand what it means to be on a podcast and have a conversation with a person? Are you trying to, like, talk in riddles? I know, but I'm asking you a question and you're responding, I don't care. What are you talking about? You just asked me if I would care about having hollow bones. I know. What the fuck? Okay, but...

but you discounting the entire question itself. What is a problem? I know, but that response made it sound like, yes, I'm discounting it. I'd rather go to the next. Would you rather? I know, but you're responding as if it's like, it's like you're on this podcast against your will. Like I'm your little cousin. You don't even, you, you, you're annoyed by like,

Like I ask you a question. My little cousins ask me stupid fucking questions too, Ted. Okay. This is a consistent issue with these. Would you rather things too? I think because sometimes Tucker in the past has brought out like these, would you rather things and slack response? And he's like, I don't care.

I don't care about it. Some of them I don't. I'm brutally honest. Okay. What bird, what air creature would you be? Do you care about that? Falcon. Falcon. Really? Yep. Fast. Big beak. Yeah. You could crush anyone with the mouth of that thing. Crush anything. I'd be a bald eagle. Pretty much the same thing, man. I'd be an American treasure. Those birds are pretty related. I'd be a bald eagle post-

Post the period of time in America where the eggs were thinning because of the... What's the chemical, Tucker? DDT. Yeah, there we go. Environmental. DDT. Tucker knew. Yeah, it made the eggshells thin. And it was like a really big problem in the 70s for raptors. So like eagles, hawks and stuff. And the bald eagle...

became very endangered but we since banned DDT and they're basically fully recovered now you can find them everywhere dude Eddie and I saw like at least five bald eagles while we were driving across the country they're everywhere I see them weekly here that we got a breeding pair they just had a few chicks this year yeah they're fucking awesome they're the spirit of America

But they don't sound like what they say they sound like. What the media tells you they sound like, they don't sound like that. They sound... They do not have a... They don't have a significant call. They're more screechy. It's like a squeak. They're more screechy and annoying. Yeah. I'm actually kind of curious because I know that Tucker likes birds, what Tucker's bird would be and if it isn't the California condor because...

Whoa. What was that? There's some hate there. You're a scavenger. You're going to have to eat just like roadkill and dead stuff. It's like a vulture kind of creature. Yeah, it's like a big... A condor is like a big vulture. Oh, okay. I guess I wouldn't want to eat rotting meat either.

Yeah, you know that vultures have bald heads so they don't get like diseases and all that nasty shit stuck on their head when they're digging into a dead body. That's disgusting. That's fucking disgusting. At least they can use toothpaste.

They have beaks. They don't need toothpaste. But they're bald, so they don't need the shampoo either. Oh, that's fair. I totally didn't understand what you were saying when you said that. That's funny. Cool. Okay, so I guess we're both birds. We're flying high in the sky. Yeah. Chuckle sandwich in the air. And you get to see clouds. You get to see the clouds. You fly through a cloud. You get to open up your beak. You eat a cloud. Tastes like cotton candy probably. Yeah.

Cool. All right. What's the next Would You Rather? And also, by the way, guys, of all our listeners out there, let us know what you think. Let us know who's right.

I want to see some comments where you list each would you rather and you break down what you think was right. Give us a, you know, do like it's like. We want essays. Yeah. Well, yeah. No, this is homework that we're giving you guys. This is like, this is the school module and now you've got to do the, you've got a journal. You've got to do your weekly journal where you write down in the comments and say what you thought about the episode, how it made you feel and what it told you about, like what you learned from the themes.

Is that good? Cool. Yeah. All right. So what's the next wood you read? Can I give you like one that involves a little more background? It's like a real thing. Yeah. Okay. Okay. So it's a story of the Essex, which is a whaling ship in the 1800s. It's what Moby Dick's based off of. Okay. So it left Nantucket.

to go whale. So it's at sea. It's out near like Chile in the Pacific. So way far away from home. It's been out for like 10 months, 15 months, some crazy amount of time. And a whale breaks their ship. So they're all on three separate lifeboats now, the whole crew. And so they are out at sea for like a month and they come across just a random remote island. And it's got very, very little resources on it. Like, you know, middle of nowhere.

And then so and up until that point, the people had died on the lifeboats and they had eaten the dead bodies to survive. Oh, gross. So at this point, you have to make a decision. Would you rather risk it on the island in the middle of the Pacific or get on the lifeboats again and try to find South America and risk dying and or being eaten by your friends?

And some people, this really happened, some people stayed behind and some people got on the lifeboats. And after you guys talk it, I can tell you what happened. I probably, like, I think I've, I don't know, because this was, the boat got, wasn't this when the boat got trapped in the ice and they couldn't move? No, no, this was a sperm whale took the boat down. A sperm whale. Damn.

sperm whale yeah it just wrecked their boat and they were like thousand miles off the coast of south america damn put me back on the boat yeah i'd probably get back on the boat i'd probably get back on the boat we're talking a little resource very little resources are we talking like oh yeah are we talking like we've got it's like like no fresh water you've got one town and it's like and it's like three sheeps

Ted, I don't think there's any sheep. The island from Lost. And there's polar bears and there's no John Locke. No, that was a slightly... It was in the Age of Empires. No, it was a slightly deep cut. That was a Catan reference. It's like you've got one town and the three tiles are fucking sheep and you just can't fucking do anything for the whole game. Yeah, I guess it would be the equivalent. There's like no supplies at all. And it's like a 12 and 11 and a 2.

Yeah. Put me on the boat, Tucker. I got a nice charcuterie board coming up next. Okay. So let me tell you what happened to the people that went on the boat. Okay. So I think two boats leave, one boat stays behind because there's three boats. One of the boats that was one of the lifeboats from that point disappeared in the middle of the night. Never to be seen again. Nobody knows what happened to it in history.

The other boat, they're out there for days and days and days. Eventually, they decided to draw straws, and whoever lost, they were going to kill and eat them. And they did. They made it eventually. Yeah, I suppose if we know what happened, then they made it. Yeah, but they drew straws, killed the guy who lost, and they ate him. They all agreed to it. Wow. And the people on the island, they all survived and got rescued.

That's lame. So you're, if you take the bow option, you run the risk, but the people would have never gotten rescued had nobody run the risk. Oh, so they got, oh,

So the only reason they got found is because the boat people got to... Yeah, made it. But the boat people had to eat each other. Yeah, the heroes of the story. The real heroes right there. It's like a real dilemma. Dude, if you get killed and eaten on that second boat, you're the biggest hero of them all. I guess that's true, yeah. How long do you think... Do you know any info on how... They had very little resources. I wonder how long they could have survived if both of those boats didn't make it and they were just out there.

It would have been a whole society or something. I think they were just starving and eating grass or leaves or something. But I would think if it rained, they could probably do pretty well.

I don't know. This story is like horrifying dilemma. I wouldn't want that to happen to me. If that was like a situation that was about to happen to me, I'd say no thank you. And it wouldn't happen to me. I would refuse. Okay. Well, would you like a back on track, would you rather? I just wouldn't be on a fucking fishing boat. Yeah, no, I wouldn't get on that boat. I wouldn't get on that boat. Or I'd ask the whale not to. Why did they let the whale do that?

Yeah. Just like don't be in that situation. That's a good question, actually. I think we should be asking you, Tucker. Why did they let the whale do that to their boat? That doesn't seem like something they should have let happen. I don't know. But they really pissed it off. Yeah. I highly recommend the whaling museum on Nantucket for anyone who ever visits. It's horrifying. Jesus.

I really recommend. That's a great, I'd love to apply that to even more circumstances. Like you just, you're recommending a restaurant or something. Oh, I really recommend Matzah on Melrose. Check out in LA. It's horrifying. It's a horrifying place to be. That's great. All right. Well, what's the, what's the, that's a, that's a cool one. That's a cool story. And I think, and I think you've tickled our listeners today, Tucker. Tickled them, tickled them with, with, with wonder and horror at the same time.

Okay, I'll give you another hygiene one. Okay, hygiene. Would you rather have no access to air conditioning or no access to deodorant? No air, no AC. I need deodorant, yeah. Listen, I live in Texas right now, so no AC would be awful. He's already living it.

I'd still have deodorant, though. And you know what? I'd probably just move somewhere cold. Yeah. And everyone in this call knows how much I sweat against my own will and how much I do need deodorant. You do need deodorant. Yeah.

I've got the Mitchum on right now as per Schlatt's suggestion. The Mitchum. Yeah. The Mitchum. Dude, the Mitchum. Yeah, I was like, because I was having an issue during Chuckle Week where I was sweating too much and I was like, at my wits end about it. I remember I was like, I'm sweating so much. It's pissing me off. I just don't want to sweat anymore. I need to get those fucking injections in my armpits.

And so I was like, get the Mitchum, man. Get the Mitchum. Get the Mitchum. I'll be completely honest. Nothing has changed about the rate of sweat. I think I'm just... I think I have a clinical sweating problem. Dude, you might. Many people out there do, and it's totally natural. It would have been worse, I think, and I wouldn't be as blasé about it if...

if it was something that was actively happening to me in like high school, because I remember in high school having like sweating and all in the armpits in high school was like the worst thing ever. Yeah. Do you guys ever deal with that where it's like just a little bit of a like sweat under the armpit and you're like, yeah, after a dude, after like a week or two of using the same deodorant, my body gets like used to it. And so I start sweating more.

And so I need to like alternate. I got the Mitchum and I got the, some dove one. That's like a roller. Yeah. And I'll alternate every couple of weeks. I'll switch. Your armpits and deodorant are like bacteria and antibiotics. Like eventually it gets you used to it and then it can't. Yeah. Becomes a super sweater or something. I don't know. All right. Nevermind. Uh,

But yeah, no, I think I would go the, I would definitely go the, the, the deodorant because like, I feel like I, there was, you know, I could deal with the, with the heat. You just, you don't, you don't sleep with a comforter in it. You sleep with sheets, you know, and you, you know, but I do love air conditioning.

The Europeans don't have air conditioning. Whoa, they're also disgusting people. You'd have to live somewhere cold, man. I don't even know if you could pull LA off because my AC died the other day and it was rough. Really? It was fucking, yeah, it was like in the 80s in the house. It's brutal. Yeah, but I'm going to say it.

I'm going to say it. And I'm sorry to all our listeners out there. I'm going to say it, though. What are you going to say? But here it's a dry heat. You know? It's a dry heat. But your apartment is going to heat up to at least like 77, you know?

In LA, right? Yeah. That's not comfortable. You don't want your house to be in. To be fair, it's 98 degrees right now outside. What? Yeah, it's 98 degrees right now in LA. Holy shit. I would be shirtless right now if I did not have air conditioning. Especially in the room with a computer running. Oh, that would be bad. Yeah. Damn. I mean, but I just, I don't want to stink though. We just moved to Montana. I don't want to be stinky. We moved to Glacier. We live in Kalispell.

That's a perfect solution. Chuckle goes Montana. Chuckle goes to Montana. Short drive away from going to the Sun Road. There you go. Going to the Sun Road. Love it. Been on that twice. Driven on that twice. They charge for it now. Once with Tucker and once with my dad. Remember that road, Tucker? We drove all the way up and we saw the goats. Yeah. That's a beautiful park. Beautiful drive. They don't wear deodorant, the goats. So maybe they've got it figured out.

Next one? Yeah, I think the next one would be good. Okay, for this, would you rather, I want you to put yourself in whenever you would be most insecure at a party, whether that's now or whether that's like 14 years old. I could tell you on a recent occasion, me singing songs from the Rhett and Link release 10 years ago to him drunk at the Streamy's after party was definitely one of them.

I can't believe I fucking did that shit, man. Oh, God. All right, continue. Sorry, I'm getting off track here with my loathing. Would you rather clog the toilet at a party or go in the bushes in the backyard? One or two. Well, if you clog the toilet taking a piss, that'd be pretty impressive. I'll fucking clog it. I'll walk out. You don't even have to say anything.

Uh-oh. Oops. Not my problem. I already went. I one time accidentally clogged the toilet of the assistant coach of the Golden State Warriors toilet on a film set in 2018. What did you do? Do you walk out? No. I made sure I got it unclogged.

But it was... I guess this is like something I've never talked about before. Yeah, no. It was the assistant manager of the Golden State Warriors, I think. Is that the name of a basketball team? So a fucking nobody.

Well, he's the assistant coach. I mean, so you just clogged a toilet. Well, it was like on a film set. It was like, I was just there as a, it was a, it was, you know, I was just a mere intern at the time and I go to the bathroom and I, and I do my toilet work. I go to, I go to town as I usually do in the anal category. And then I,

category? Yeah, that's where poop comes from. Fucking read a book, man. Weirdo. And I used the same amount of... I don't know if this guy had like a weak toilet or something. And I'm sorry if you're watching this now, sir. And I made sure I didn't... It didn't stay clogged, by the way. I made sure to solve that scenario. So if you're... I don't know if he's watching this now, but I'm just making sure that's clear. But...

Same amount of toilet paper I normally do. I'm speaking in riddles. I can tell you seem confused, Shlatt. You are. You are. And then I go to flush and then the worst sight of all time, especially when you're at a home that is not your home and also not at the lowest tier of

In the hierarchy on a set where you could get yelled at, you see that the water is starting to rise. And the poop is still in there with the toy paper. So it's like, I don't want that all over the place. Yeah? Yeah. I don't want that all over the place. So...

That's fair in an employee setting, Ted, but this is a party. There was no plunger in there. This is a party, everyone's drunk, you're incognito. I know, but this is a work scenario. This is work. Oh, it's not working. Guess what? It's never going to be a fucking problem for me. I'm never going back in that bathroom. I'm leaving. I don't care. Someone will find the toilet after me. It's a party. Who gives a fuck? Who gives a fuck? Dude, but think about it in this context.

I'd already been in there for the full time that would be reasonable to be in the bathroom. We're talking about a party though, Ted, not a film set. Everyone's drunk. I'm getting like knocks on the door, okay? This is not the would you rather. Someone's waiting on me and the toilet is fucking clogged, man. And if I walk out of there without doing anything, someone's going to walk in there and say, did you just fucking clog the toilet of the assistant coach of the Golden State Warriors?

Sir? And I'm going to have to say... What? I'm going to say, yes? No! I stand there and I say... What did you do? And I... I think that I, like, used one of those toilet brush things to kind of, like, use as a pushing thing to kind of push it off. Yeah. To, like, make sure it didn't eventually... Because there was no plunger! And I got it to flush. But that scenario is a very... It's a scenario I've run into. Okay? Yeah. And I would...

You know, what if this is in the party scenario, Shalat, think about this. What if there's people waiting in line? What if there's like four person line? Okay. Four person line. You clog that toilet. People are knocking. There are people that will have saw you go in because they're waiting in line and they'll see you come out. So everybody knows who did it. Oh, sorry, guys. What are you talking about? What do you mean? I just dropped the bomb. I want you to genuinely think about that social circumstance. Like, are you willing to deal with that?

Don't care. They're not going to care that I fucking clogged the toilet. They're going to see, oh shit, Schlatt just walked by. He's got four million subscribers on YouTube. Fuck you. I'm not going to cause an issue with him. He'll blackball me from the industry. Okay, well then murmurs will begin in the industry. Oh, I don't fucking care. You're going to get canceled for that. You're going to get canceled for that, man. Sure, yeah, sure, sure. Honestly, though, I do think that the toilet clogging scenario is probably better than going to take a shit in a bush.

Dude, what are the murmurings? What are the murmurs going to be if they see you do that? Dude, you see Ted fucking crouching over the lawn with his nuts hanging low? No, it wouldn't be a better option. His nuts hanging low? He wasn't even able to wipe his butt? There's probably shit in there still. Well, maybe I used a leaf and then, you know.

Maybe I'll use a leaf. What type of bush is it? Do you see Ted stick a leaf up his ass? That's what the murmuring is going to be. Much more impactful to your reputation than if you clog a toilet. How do you wipe, dude? Are you sticking the fucking toilet paper up your ass when you wipe? Are you sticking a leaf up your ass? I'm not, which is why I was confused when you said that would be the murmurs. You shoving a leaf up your ass in the lawn? No, I never did that. That's not something I... No, I'm not sticking shit up my ass, man.

Not leaves, not toilet paper. I'm just saying that's what the murmurings are going to be. That's what you're going to be murmuring about. People are going to be murmuring and they're going to say, that motherfucker Jay Schlatt dropped a huge fucking turd. He just dropped an Oppenheimer. He dropped an Oppenheimer and the host is going to be like, I...

My toilet was Nagasaki and Schlatt was little boy. But it was a big boy that he was really dropping. A big boy, big turd. I feel like I'm more of a fat man. Yeah. Do you? Okay. Yeah. Whatever the case, I think that the clogging scenario is better, though. You could be apologetic and stuff. There's not many apologies. There's, I think, no number of apologies that you can give that would not...

that would sway the public after you take a human shit in a bush on someone's property. Of course. And I'm telling you right now, a human shit would probably be the stinkiest thing in like a hundred meter radius. A hundred meters? You think you can smell that? Yeah. If it's coming out of this guy, then yeah. We're starting rumors about you, Ted. No, you can't just say that we're starting rumors. There we are.

That reduces the power of the rumor when you announce it's a rumor. Listen, all I'm saying, and all the viewers can agree, everyone knows what kind of shit Ted dropped the other night at that party. We were all at it. We were all at it. We saw him walk out of that bathroom, fucking tail between his legs. He knew he fucked up. I don't have a tail.

Water on the floor, man. You're lying. Water on the floor. And then it was so clogged, and he had a shit again not 20 minutes later. So he took a shit on the lawn. You can see everything. You can't claim I did both options. He stuck a leaf up his ass. He stuck a leaf up his ass. His balls were hanging low. God, that sounds like an absolute catastrophe. That is a fucking...

That is a fucking horror movie with your friends right there. Ted just could not figure out how to properly shit inside or outside or anywhere, and everyone saw it. He's walking around. I'm like pigeon-toed walking around, mumbling to myself, confused, speaking in riddles. That's good. Yeah, no, I'll probably collect the toilet, though. Yeah, me too. Should we do one more? Yeah, sure. I'd say we could do one more. Okay. Okay.

Would you rather be extremely allergic to your favorite food or forced to eat your least favorite food once a week? What's your least favorite food, Shlatt?

I don't know. I mean, I probably haven't eaten it. No, let's say you have to be something you ate and you hated it. It can't be like something you've never had that's obviously terrible. Vegetables. All? All of them? Most of them. That sounds like something you should say that you want to do, though. Because to be forced to eat vegetables every week sounds like a pretty positive scenario for you at the end of the day. Yeah, then it's kind of helping me. It's kind of helping me. I'm a very picky eater. I just, I eat the meat.

You know, you get the boxes from Factor, for example. I just eat the meat. Yeah, very picky, very picky. I don't eat vegetables. Yeah. So it's kind of like, I guess I got to do it. I got to put the good stuff in my body every now and then. So I wouldn't mind that too much. I guess I didn't really consider how significant it was that I turned you on to sushi back in the first chuckle week. Because now that's like half of what you eat now. Pivotal moment in my life. Yeah.

Really? Wow. Okay. Hell yeah. High praise. I probably would have been put onto it at some point, but you did. You did switch that flip. That is true. Flip that switch. Flip that. Flip that flip. I guess I'm trying to think of what my least favorite food is. I mean, is it like a vegetable? I guess it probably would be a vegetable of some sort, but like I like other vegetables. There are vegetables that I like.

Man, what? Tomatoes. Fucking hate tomatoes, man. I love tomatoes. Tomatoes are great, dude. They don't belong anywhere. They don't belong on nothing. The older I get, the more I like tomatoes. I love cherry tomatoes. That's fucked up. You know who you don't tell that to? Link Neal. Hates tomatoes. Hates them. Is that something? Oh, cantaloupe, dude. You don't like cantaloupe? Are you kidding? Like the orange melon?

Yeah, dude, that shit's terrible. Are you kidding me? Dude, when I was a kid... Or honeydew melon. Okay, well, honeydew is a different story, okay? Yeah, but they're like the same thing, just two different hours. This is the most inoffensive fruit steak. I'm on the same side as Shlad here. They're incredibly inoffensive fruits. It's kind of strange that you have a... Oh, bro. I hate pizza. Oh, bro, burgers? Fuck.

Oh, dude. I fucking hate soda, man. Fuck, dude. McDouble? Spicy McChicken? Dude, do not put me anywhere near a fucking Crunchwrap Supreme where I'm going to fucking kill someone. Don't put that shit near me. Just the smell of it makes me gag. I can't even think about it. Yeah, I mean, I get honeydew because honeydew is always the, like, it always looked like the non-ripe part of a melon kind of fruit salad. It was always the stuff you avoid, the honeydew.

Yeah, no, cantaloupe, I can't agree with you, though. I wholeheartedly... I'm wearing... The color I'm wearing right now looks like cantaloupe, in fact, too. It does. It's almost like I'm representing the fruit right now. Is that your merch? No, this is like Twitch. There's a Twitch... Sorry. Were you going to react that way if it was my merch? No, no. No, well, everybody's... You know, when's the merch drop?

I just dropped merch. Well, when's it showing up at my door? Oh, like a couple weeks maybe, probably. I don't know. There you have it, folks. But no, when I was a kid, I would eat cantaloupe all the time and my parents actually had this special little tool that was like a little scooper thing. A little scooper thing and you would

Or like my mom, she would sometimes make me a bowl and she'd make a bunch, so it was a bunch of little cantaloupe balls that I would eat with a toothpick and go, "Homp, homp, homp." It was great. It was awesome. So I think you're crazy and invalid for not liking cantaloupe.

I guess that is your opinion. But what don't I like? It would probably be a fish of some sort. I don't know. I feel like I'm not a particularly picky eater, so it would probably end up being something I'm allergic to. I probably wouldn't want to eat apples all the time because I like apples, but I'm allergic to them. So I would have a reaction to them all the time.

You're allergic to apples? Yeah, I'm allergic to apples, to peaches. I'm allergic to stone fruits. I'm allergic to apples, to peaches. I got that too. Stone fruit? You got a stone fruit allergy as well? Yeah, if I have a... Long time Fred Tucker? A lot of times... It's not every apple, but most of them, like my throat will get really itchy. Yeah. And the roof of my mouth gets itchy. It's not like debilitating. And then you get like sometimes if it's not that, you'll maybe get like a little bit of a stomachache kind of going on. Yeah, it happens with...

and avocados too. Oh, interesting. And like a lot of, a lot of fruits, but never vegetables. That might be a slightly different allergy than, than me because I don't get it with avocados or walnuts. I don't have any nut based stuff, but it's like, it's like anything that's got like, I guess, I don't know if apple totally applies to this category, but for it does apply to a lot of like a stone fruit. I think it's something that has like a core in the middle, which is why I guess it's weird that I am not allergic to

But like peaches, plums, fucking pears, I think affect me in that way. I think apples affect me in that way. It's weird. And you want to hear the solution is weirder too. You're not going to like this. And our listeners out there are going to think it's weird as well. You ready for this?

Are you sitting in a comfortable position to hear this news? Yeah. Okay, so the solution in order that I was told by this allergist to solve it, which works, is that I put the apple that I want to eat in the microwave for like 10 seconds. And then I let it cool down and I can eat it. Why? Because I guess it denatures the enzymes that I'm allergic to in the apple. I think it's in the skin of the fruit. So it does something where it denatures the enzymes with the heat of it.

Or the, I don't know, the radiation probably? I don't know. But that's how I can eat it. What were the options of this Would You Rather? Now, I'm forgetting what were. Yeah, it was Would You Rather be extremely allergic to your favorite food or forced to eat your least favorite food once a week.

It's probably, for me, it'll probably end up just being like a vegetable or something like that. And I could survive eating the stuff that I'm allergic to. So probably I would do the latter, the latter option. I wouldn't want to be allergic to my favorite fruit. I shit on nut allergies a lot. You're allergic to apples? You're going to do this right now? You can't eat apples?

You can't eat apples? Yeah, no. Okay. No, I see where this is going. Yeah, no, have fun. Go for it. Go for it. No, no. Yeah, no. I see where you're... No, I see what you're angling. I was just wondering. No, I was just wondering. Oh, you were wondering? Yeah. I feel like I spelled it out for you pretty... I just want to confirm. I just want to confirm it and put it out there right now. Yeah. Just to get the facts straight, you, Ted Nivison... That's my name. ...are allergic to...

to apples yeah okay i am but it's not like it's not like if i'm at like a convention or something if someone there's like people can't like come up to me and like try to do a terrorist attack and throw an apple at me like it's not gonna work okay it's not like that it's not like it's like yeah that can definitely happen with not allergies like that's awesome that's terrible no it's not good

Not good, dude. That'd be awful. Is there ever been an incident where someone just... Honestly, I feel like it shouldn't be. Probably not because it would probably be ineffective and you probably can't bring... You know what it is? You probably can't bring food into an event like that. So they probably catch that pretty quickly. But yeah, no, I'm allergic to apple slat.

I'm allergic. I love apples too. It's tough, but it's not a full allergy, okay? It's not like I can't eat apples for the rest of my life. I just, you know. Oh, you are sick. You're a sick man. You know that? You're relishing this for some reason. Are you allergic to anything, you dick?

Most grasses and pollens, actually. Okay, so you're allergic to grass. I went to the allergies. No, I went to the allergies. You're allergic to grass and you're giving me shit about apples. Or grass, yeah, and trees and pollen. So you can't. Cats even. I'm allergic to cats slightly. You quite literally cannot even touch grass. Well, I could, but I guess it's like you with the apples. People tell you to go touch grass, but you can't even do it because you're so allergic. Doesn't do much.

Son of a bitch. Yeah, I'm allergic to pollen too. Yeah, I think everyone is to a certain degree. Yeah, but no allergies when you move though, right? In the summer. Did that change or do you get it a lot? I get, whenever I'm on a flight, it takes a minute to adjust. There's nothing, I don't get seasonal summer allergies. It's more so when things start to turn or start to bloom. If I remember correctly, Tucky, you kind of get fucked by seasonal allergies, don't you?

My allergies are, well, yeah, I get like pollen allergies, but what's worse is pets like dogs and cats that have hurt. Dude, Tucker fucking hates animals. He hates pets. He'll never, him and Emma will, him and Emma will never have a pet. I don't think, I think that that might be maybe a point of contention between the two of them because, because I don't know, actually Emma doesn't even really seem like she would be, she would care. Did she have pets growing up?

No, she's never had a pet. Oh, actually, no. When she was really little, they had like some kind of... They lived in like a neighborhood with a lot of strays. Oh, okay. So they had a couple of creatures? Some wishy-washy. Some creatures? Okay. But no, she's never really had a pet. Interesting. Okay, so I guess you guys... That's honestly perfect then. So you probably aren't really feeling like you're... Because they had this dog. They still have this dog. His name is Calvin.

And that dog is probably the least equipped dog to be an animal that Tucker would like. No, Calvin's okay. Calvin's okay. It's my dog.

My dad's place. They got the dual golden retrievers. He's like a force of nature when he's walking around. He's slobbering and stuff. He's moving his butt. He's knocking shit over. Quite literally, when that dog is excited and moving, it's like a natural disaster. It's like, yeah, I think my answer is

the latter of those two options yeah yeah i mean just make me eat that shit once a week it'll probably help me yeah yeah i could probably use it yeah there you go well i believe that that's about all the time we have today chucklers let us know what you think about our would you rather answers and whether or not uh we have silly allergies i guess and we'll and and hey

Hey, thanks for coming by and spending the time with us. You got to take over. I'm having a hard time. Ted, when you watched Annoying Orange, did you cheer when Apple got sliced over and over? Did you silently go like, got it? One for my team. Justice. Apples, bro. Apples? Fuck you.