Controversial "Would You Rather" Questions
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Schlatt, I hear you've been rereading the Bible lately. I have not been rereading the Bible. The Bible is... I had imprinted into my brain. Okay, give me... I had it laser etched like a tattoo. Give me 3611 right now. What book? Return of the fucking Jedi. Return of the Jedi? Are you kidding me? I didn't know they made a sequel, man. They made Bible 2?

Who wrote that one? Archimedes52. Who is Archimedes? I don't know. Alduin. Gagg- Gagg- Gagg- I'll delete. Alduin. 1, 2, 3. I'll tell you who wrote the Bible. The new Bible. Redditors. Redditors write everything that is worth reading. Anything that is worth reading, I bet you a Redditor wrote it. I bet you a Redditor wrote it. I bet John Mary Jingleheimer, whatever his name is, I bet he's a big Redditor.

And you know what happens when we go on Reddit, gentlemen? You know what happens when we go on Reddit? What happens? We hit that little controversial button and we ask ourselves some very, very important questions, gentlemen. Welcome back! Welcome to Chuckle Sandwich. We're doing Would You Rather. God did not give me Reddit gold when I was born.

Welcome to Chuckle Sandwich, folks. Today, we've got a very special episode. This is sort of a fan favorite of the people of the podcast. I basically sent Schlatt and Charlie into the deep depths, diving into Reddit, doing magic tricks, and just checking out r slash all and r slash controversial, whatever the fuck you have, in the Would You Rather subreddit on reddit.com, where we're going to be asking ourselves the hardest-hitting questions that we've ever

I don't know. We could ever fucking find. Ted, it's the age-old thing that we do every now and then when the stats get a little lower than we would have wanted them to. The views are down. Everyone's really upset. We got to do something that people care about. And what people care about is asking these age-old questions. Would you rather sit on a cake and eat a dick or eat a dick and sit on a cake? Wait, that's the same question. Or would you rather...

pick one wait wait okay so first question of the day ted would you rather sit on a cake and eat a dick or eat a cake and sit on a dick sit on a cake and eat a dick or eat a dick and sit on a cake yeah no no wait no what do you mean you said the same thing no that was no that's right you've fallen into the same trap are my fucking wires crossed

Either sit on a cake or eat a dick or eat a dick and sit on it. No, you're just reversing it. You're reversing it Listen, okay. What is the actual? I don't want to eat a dick, okay? I don't want to eat a dick. Would you rather have unlimited cake? Or unlimited dick in your mouth? Unlimited cake, but no dick in your mouth. Would you rather eat a cake?

Or sit on a dick. Or unlimited cake, but no cake and a dick in your ass. Or eat a dick, but sit on a cake. No, no, no, no, no. Let me say it one more time. Yes, please. Okay. Ted Nivison. My ears are perked. I'm listening. Would you rather sit on a cake and eat a dick or eat a cake and sit on a dick? Yeah.

Yeah, I just don't see what the difference is, though, is the thing for me. One, you have a dick in your mouth and you're sitting on a cake. And the other, you have a dick in your ass and you're eating a delicious succulent cake. Of course I'm eating a cake. What are you talking about? When you say eat a dick. This isn't even a question. Like if it's an ice cream cake from Carvel with the little crunchies in between the ice cream and the actual cake part. It doesn't really matter what kind of cake it is when I'm sitting on it, I guess. Well, I need a clarification here.

When it comes to eating a dick, are we talking about like when you tell someone, ah, eat a dick, you motherfucker? No. And it's like, oh, is that maybe slang for sucking a cock? Oh, yeah. You're fellating. You're fellating a large penis. Oh, so it's fellatio. To completion. Okay. To completion. Yeah. Okay, hang on.

You have to make him cum. And then you have to make him cum ropes into that cute little mouth. Because I need to explain my thought process here. When you said eat a dick, I thought you were like take a...

severed cock toss it in a pan oh no you're pulling it through the strands here man let me let me ask you this it's getting hot it's in a wok maybe cake can is it an ice cream cake because this is going to inform the decision it's an it's a ice cold oh it is just out of the freezer carvel ice cream cake with with vanilla and chocolate and

And there's the little Oreo crunchies that separates it both. Very little frosting. It's not overbearing. It's delicious. It's a delicious cake. I would eat it in an instant. Regular dick or ice cream dick? This is just a roundabout way to try to convince us to sit on a dick. It's a regular penis. Cock frosted or unfrosted? It's a circumcised five and a half inch...

Uh, okay. Maybe I was being generous. It's four and a half. It's four and a half inches. Four and a half inches. And you have to make it come either way, wherever it's going. Okay. So I got the ice cream cake. Got the Oreo sprinkles. In one situation, you don't get anything good. You get a butt full of ice cream cake. And a mouth full of cock. Exactly. And the other situation, you get a butt full of cock.

but a mouth full of ice cream. Wow. You sound like you really want to butt full of cock right now. Well, no, there's one situation where I could guide myself through the potential, uh, trials and tribulations, if you will, of sitting on a cock through the flavors, uh,

the emotional journey of eating a cake. Okay. You've actually kind of sold me on it now. We eat cake to forget about things and to celebrate, you know, cake is cake is like one of those little Pavlovian things. You see cake. You're like, Oh, it's a fun, this is a fun time. I'm going to enjoy whatever's coming. I shall sit on that dick and eat that cake.

Until completion. I'm going to enjoy whatever's coming in my ass. And if I haven't completed the cake by the time that the cock is completed, I will sit there and finish the cake.

Dripping. This fucking sucks. What a starting question, Shalad. So I'm willing to lock in. I think it all seems like we're in the same place here, actually. We are a group of cocksitters. Yeah, in one of them you get the ice cream cake. I'm not sitting on a deck, guys. That's fucking gay. What?

I am so comfortable with my sexuality and my love for cake that I'm sticking with my answer. Yeah, actually. Even if you pressure me, you bully. No, that's fair. That's fair. Well, what are you picking? Well, I'm sucking the dick because deep down, I've always wanted to know what it feels like. To sit on a cake? But not the other way around. You haven't always wondered what it's like to eat this cake that you've

so wonderfully described. It could be a really good cake. Yeah. I mean, it's just going in your ass. He's making himself cry. He's making himself cry. This is... What a start to this podcast. Holy shit. Look at him go. God, he's got

He's got the super mega hat on. Can we do another question, please? You're in charge of the questions. I'll bring in the questions. I didn't pick ones like this. I just didn't notice. Guys, can we move on? Can we do that? Can you do that for me? He went through three different moods in five minutes. Let's go to the next question, boys. Would you rather go to hell or go to heaven?

What? Just for 30 minutes to see everything and someone explains to you everything about hell or heaven. There's no torture or anything. I think that knowing now with this option that one of these things, this binary of heaven and hell is real, I would probably say I would want to go to hell to determine for myself...

Is it really that bad? And do I really need to act in accordance with sinning and stuff? Because then, however bad it is, I can be like, oh shit, they're having people sit on dicks and eat cake and the other way around. I'm like, oh man. That would not be bad for Al, honestly. You'd think it'd be worse. It really would be. Okay, surely there's... I mean...

Let's just say in hell, it's all the worst would-you-rathers. Oh, no. That's a pretty tough situation. But then, you know, in heaven, it's like... In heaven, we got unlimited bacon. Wait, wait, wait. Which one has unlimited bacon? That's a pretty fun one, though, Charlie, because I think that it would be worth it to go to hell, see how bad it is, sort of judge for myself how badly I don't want to go to hell.

Right. And then and then return to my life. So you're motivated by fear. That's the thing. I think the main question, the main question with this prompt is, are you going to be more motivated by something that you want? E.g. heaven? If heaven is amazing, would that push you towards the light or would seeing how awful hell is and being scared of it endlessly? Would that be what motivates you?

What is your motivation, Ted? Are you motivated by terrible intrusive thoughts? Um, no, just fear. Just, just fear. It's funny that you bring that up. No, well, it's actually funny that you bring that specific topic up because I've been having this conversation with, uh, with my girlfriend Shay for a little bit where we are having this conversation in the car. Shay, when I go to hell, I want you to know. Well, she was talking about the difference between that. She was talking about the difference between me and her is, um,

we had this conversation of like thinking about what if you got in a car crash or something? And the, what we discovered was the difference between the two of us thought about it was when she was thinking about it, she was like, Oh man, how terrible would it be if I got into this, you know, fiery car crash where, you know, shit all goes wrong. A very, very like, it's sort of like,

Terrible thing. But the way I was thinking about it was like, sometimes I'm driving on the road and I'm thinking about like, man, how would I save us if something terrible happened on the road and there's cars flipping over? Like what would, what sort of fucking NASCAR maneuver would I do to save us? So I think generally I sort of have a positive outlook, but in this particular instance,

I would say that I would go to hell just to kind of see like that's got to be a better motivator. I know, you know, because I feel like if you went to heaven and you saw how good it is, it's like you would sort of lose that image over time. And you're like and you'd lose that motivation because it's so positive. You know, it's like when you get it. It's like when you get a one out of 10 YouTube video on YouTube dot com.

We're all influencers. We get that. We get that jazz for a little bit, but then we forget what that's like. I'd say you're more – I mean you're more motivated by fear, sure. But if you live your whole life after seeing hell for 30 minutes out of fear of going to hell, I feel like you're not even living anymore, Ted. But I genuinely think that people are –

are, and this isn't to say that I'm going to like be fucking hitting my kids when I have kids or something, but I do think that people are generally motivated by negativity or like the fear of something bad happening more so than like a positive thing. Well, there's a reason, the reason you see so much is because yeah, we gravitate towards it. And speaking of, speaking of negativity, you want to take that one? Yeah.

Ask them would they rather sit on a dick. Can I say one more thing? Yeah, of course. To support my point? Yes. Here's a question for you guys. Why is it that with the large amount of positive comments that you get on your YouTube videos, why do the negative ones affect you more?

Okay, William Osmond. William answers the question. You brought up a good point. No, I agree with you, though, is the thing. Ordinarily, here is where I'd launch into a whole thing, and we'd have this whole three-way argument. It'd be awesome. Everyone would love it. I just think you're right.

That was a question. How am I going to be right about the question? No, I mean about your thing about people being more motivated by the negative thing. Like that's why it's always going to stand out, right? I mean I think a lot of people have said it before, but it's like fucking anything in life, right? YouTube comments still applies to – I don't know. If you're playing baseball as a kid and a bunch of people say good job and then someone comes up to you and says like, hey, that one thing –

that's going to stick with you more, right? Especially for me, because I'm always very focused on what I can improve rather than what I did well. It's definitely like a, what is it, primordial or primal? Primordial. The primordial. No, it's definitely a primal reaction. I feel like people gravitate towards the negatives because that's something you don't want, so you've got to identify what that is and avoid it. Either way.

That's my long and stitted answer. Sorry for talking so much. So you want to go to hell. Yeah.

Yeah, I'd go to hell for 30 minutes and then take notes. And then that would, because the thing is, if you go to heaven, you don't know how bad it's going to get on the other side. And if it's not too bad in hell, then hey, maybe we make a few cutbacks on how good we're being to people. You'd go to heaven and you'd look at it and you'd be like, eh, how bad could hell be? What if hell is like Hasbin Hotel and then heaven is like heaven in the good place?

Like it just, I, or it's everything so good that everyone's bored all the time. Listen, I'm planning for the void. If I'm being straight with you. Yeah. I'm just playing. I am absolutely planning for the dark starless void at the end of the tunnel. Okay. So there it is. There it is. Um, yeah.

Fuck you, man. I just think that that's it. Yeah. No, it's definitely not. And you're definitely a filthy fucking atheist. Would you rather never be stuck in traffic again or never get another cold? Live life to live life, boys. Wait, wait. Is that it? Is that the whole question? Never get another cold.

Never be stuck in traffic ever again. Oh, yeah. Well, you're in L.A. How about never get sick again at all? I voted for that one. I hate getting sick. Does that include cancer? How would it... It sounds a little bit of an OP option, Shlatt. I think it depends on what your personal experience is with colds. Because I feel like if you keep it to colds, then it makes it a little bit like... Right. Would you rather...

30 minutes of your time one day wasted or be cured of all disease for the rest of your life seems a bit unbalanced. Yeah, it does. It does. I mean, we can maybe add in allergies or something, you know? Oh, you know I'm going to take that. That is such an easy...

Yeah, you would choose no allergies, Charlie? You'd choose no allergies? Yeah, you'd take a Zyrtec. You have a very weak immune system, don't you? Well, fuck you, man. You got weak patience. Can I mention something? Audio listeners, love you to death. We have no idea what's going on with Charlie's voice right now. But...

Think about it this way. Remember, did you guys ever drive around when COVID was first really everyone was afraid of it and it was like a real thing and then, you know, people stopped. Yeah. It wasn't, you know, it didn't turn out to be a big Fauci lie. The roads were very, very clear. There was no one in the roads. So are you saying, Schlatt. I wish my sinuses were very, very clear. That per hoops.

If there's no traffic, it's going to be like clear roads like that? Or is that what you're saying? Like that's no traffic? Oh, well, maybe... Maybe...

Because there's no traffic, maybe it's one of those genie-in-a-bottle things where, yeah, you get this, but something goes wrong. You killed everyone on the fucking planet. Maybe you have a perpetual COVID going on that is causing the no traffic, and you just live all your life in fear. Yeah, whereas the other option, my sinus is instantly clear, I get in my car, and then it explodes. Update to the question. Would you rather...

Get no traffic, but have a cold every couple of weeks.

Or... No! Always be in traffic, but never have a cold. You're a fucking psychopath if you pick the first one. Honest to God, you are a goddamn fucking freak. If you say, I want it to be clear traffic so badly I will get sick, you are genuinely not... You are not human. You are primordial. Yeah, but to be fair with you, Charlie, there was a bit of traffic on the way here, and I was getting a little frustrated, and it just affects my mood. Yeah.

It's I just listen, I drove a very nice car. I like to go fast in my car. And when I can't go fast in my car, I get upset. Would you not be upset if you're sick?

No, because then I pop an Allegra, I pop a Zyrtec, I pop some Z-Quil, I go to bed nice. I'm not stuffy all the time. I mean, there's shit you could do. What are you going to do if there's traffic, huh? What are you going to sit there listening to a little Wall Street Journal podcast, The Daily, The Daily starring Michael Barbaro? Fuck you. I'm not listening to his shrill-ass voice all the time. I can't even deal with it.

Fucking Ludwig tells you to listen to podcasts and he fucking suggests the worst goddamn one in existence. The fucking... Anyways. I'm taking no traffic. How did you even get there? I don't know. I don't know. I'm going to make an argument here about... I don't necessarily believe that from you, Schlatt. Because...

Dude, if you get sick, you break down. You don't do anything when you're sick. You are done. Like, Schleck gets sick and he is knocked out. Doesn't matter the severity of it. You are knocked out, dude. You know that's true. I'd rather take a dick in my ass. What? You know? No, no, look. That wasn't even an option. Listen, it really says something because I'm a very fragile... I'm a fragile boy.

I can't handle sickness and I would still consider the no traffic option. As soon as you were sick, you would say, I fucking regret this, man. No, no, no. I have a long commute now. I have a long commute now. I'm a commuter. I commute to work. I live somewhere else. Nose to mouth, dripping down off the chin into your nice car and say, time to hit the road. Time to go 110, baby, in the 65. What are you talking about?

How about this? Let's make it even sweeter. No, no, let's make it even sweeter. One at a time. Charlie, let's make it even sweeter. One at a time. You have nowhere to go. One at a time. And Shalette, you best make sure that you let Charlie talk or I will... I'm going to hate you. Listen, I will amend my pitch. What is that noise? I will amend my pitch. Listen, you have to understand where I'm coming from. I work at an office. I live like 20 minutes away at the least now. Okay? Okay.

I have a long drive. It's annoying. And to make this even sweeter to the point where you guys might consider it outside of not being sniffly. What if you never got in trouble for speeding? There was no, there was no like fucking speed limit that you had to abide by. Everyone else can, can worry about it. But you are so morally compromised. You can do what you want on the road.

Well, you could always just... You don't need to remove that much laws. You could just say that all roads are like the Autobahn. I just want to say that Schlatt would rather than go the speed limit just be bleary-eyed snot fucking trickling down his nose going 120 on the freeway. Rather than going the speed limit.

He would rather puffy eyes, a slit of pupil in between. I don't have to fucking suds every day. I'm not in a bubble. I don't have Patrick Star with a knife fucking slashing me and infecting everybody. Sweating inside. The car is heating up. He's baking. He's baking. He's boiling. I'm not baking. I'm not boiling. Here's the simple thing. Bones deteriorating.

I'm saying 95% of the time I'm fine. I don't get sick that much. But I'll just say this. This is a simple enough pitch for a negative for you. And I think you're going to understand what I'm talking about here. It's like a cold every week.

First of all, every week. Yeah. What percentage of my life? And it's the kind of like runny nose where it gets here. And it's like that kind of cold day where it's like, it makes it all irritated there. And it's always such a deal breaker. You try and buy the lotion. I told you that that would be a deal breaker. That's just what a cold is though. I don't understand where you, where you're losing this though.

Because when he's not in a cold... He doesn't know what it's like anymore? He doesn't remember what the cold was like. It's true. It's true. Dude...

It's true. But listen, I'm saying if I, you know, most of my days I'm fine. Most of my days I'm fine. 95% of the time I'm, I'm feeling in perfect health. Yeah. Um, 90% of the time you're in pre not, if I could take that and have no traffic, I do it. I do it. Really? Okay. I feel like this is sort of, I take the 5%. I take the 5% of time that I'd spend being unhappy. Uh,

For a trade-off of never being inconvenienced by traffic ever again for the rest of my life, every single day. I mean, it is pretty valuable to have that traffic, not traffic in LA. But to... I suppose to answer the original would you rather, I would say that no traffic for me is...

Damn. I would go with that. Get fucked, Charlie. No. Get fucked. It's very, very interesting that Charlie... You people are genuine psychos. You are actual psychos. I can't defend you. I mean, it's very interesting, though, Charlie, that me and Schlatt, city goers, city folk, as they say...

would rather not have traffic compared to charlie who lives i've northeast and also in a rural area and i've done sick i didn't fucking grow up in a rural area i grew up with dc traffic i know what it's like i'm just saying i would rather sit in a car and fucking turn on 99.5 or whatever the hell and just listen to the radio to the fucking radio commercials well you're not going

And traffic? You're not going to be sick most of the time, bro. You're not going to be sick most of the time. We're reverting the prompt back to the initial parameters. Never be stuck in traffic again or never get another cold. How often do you have a fucking cold?

I hope you have an aneurysm and die right now. That's a bit over the line there, Shlatt, in terms of... So it just sounds like Charlie has a bad track record with getting colds. And I think that that is just a difference in opinion, a difference in person. A difference in region. He lives in a colder area. We disagree on this one. Next question. I'm going to fucking find you. Excuse me?

I'm going to find you. He's a good navigator. I'm going to put little droplets and little things everywhere and you're going to touch him eventually. This sounds like you're just going to put little droplets of poison around his house. You're going to reach up. Your eye's going to be itching. Your eye's going to be itching one day. What's that? Oh, the traffic's clear, but your mind is bleary, Ted. You find yourself wandering.

In an endless fog. The roads are clear, but how... What is this? The roads are clear, but are you nasal passageways? What cost? Charlie's gonna put fucking... He's gonna start rubbing, like, capsaicin oil in our towels and our face towels and shit. Dude, I'm going to irritate your orifices. And now we're back to the initial question of this episode. Hmm.

Well, hey, Charlie, do you have another would you rather? Yeah, I actually do. Would you rather be very small, very fat, very ugly, or very stupid? Wait, hold on. This is like a six-way would you rather? It's a four-way. Can you read it one more time just for our audio listeners and our video watchers that aren't good at listening? Yeah, let me hit you with this one more time, guys. Would you rather be very small, very fat, or very ugly?

Very ugly or very stupid. I'd rather be very ugly. Oh, interesting. I'd like to be... I'm already halfway there, man. I'd rather be very stupid because then I can have that wonderful, valued, himbo energy. Oh, shit.

And I can slide through life without a worry in the world. Smart people have like far more problems, things to worry about, things that are making their life harder. But a stupid person, especially if you're a hot stupid person, get a job as a model, you slide through life. If you're stupid but like you're not small and you're not ugly and you're not fat, like

Oh, fuck. That probably is the right answer, Ted. Yeah, it probably is. As long as I'm just, you're really banking on your ability to, to be a model after this. I feel like, cause I would never, I would definitely never pick that as I would not be like, oh yeah, all I'd have to do is be stupid and I'd cruise through life.

Well, this is sort of under the assumption that I'm a completely different person. I'm choosing my starting character. No, no, no, no, no. Oh, so you're just taking me and making me dumb. You're tweaking the UI, bro. You're just saying, I'm Ted Nivison, and I want to be dumb. That's what you're saying. I get ugly. I get ugly. Because I'm fucking hot. That's what I'm hearing right now. I don't know. I think that I have enough...

OP immutable qualities such as being white and a dude that would allow my stupidness, I would still be like carried through society. You want to be dumb though? Would you rather be, but you'd rather be dumb. I'm not trying to be dumb. Yeah, well you are if you don't pick any of these others. You're actually literally making the choice to be dumb. Okay, so. No, I'm just, I want to confirm with you that you're locking in very stupid is your answer. I just, you know, you can't manufacture himbo energy. Or at least you couldn't, but I'm going to leave little droplets.

all around you. In one day. Himbo-itis. You're going to drop droplets of grand virus himbo-itis. What would you take, Charlie? So here's the thing. I really like the kind of himbo vibe. A lot of the characters I play in D&D are like that. And I think if I were fucking dumb, I could pull it off. But I think the problem is I don't really want to be dumb. I think I'd be very small.

Think about all the tight places. Okay. That I do that. You just can't get into right now. Cause like right now I don't want to be very fat. Really? I don't want to, it just doesn't like, I can't, I need to be able to move quickly. Okay. Uh, I don't want to really be very ugly, you know? Uh, why not? I just, I'm chilling. I feel like in a way, the reason you were going to say, I feel like in a way you are, uh,

This isn't the Honesty Podcast. Don't worry, John. How small are we? How small are we? I don't actually know. Like four feet? Wait, wait, wait. What? No, that can't be right. It says 4.9 feet. That's not even very small. I mean, that's like... Let's say four feet. Let's say four feet. That's like... You're a foot and a half below me. That's like the shortest person you know without having dwarfism. I'm pretty sure. Yeah. I'm fine with that.

I'm fine with that. As long as my proportional power is preserved, then I'll be good to go. So you want to be short, Schlatt? You said you want to be ugly. I would be stupid. Here's a question for the stupid one, though. What if we all are just really stupid and this podcast is only successful because people think it's funny to listen to us argue and talk because everyone else around us is so smart that they think it's a little circus show? Squid game.

Thanks for that input, Charlie. No, I'd be ugly. I'd be ugly. I feel like I'm halfway there. I feel like the mutton chops are like a rebellion in my own right. Why not make it even worse? What would that look like? Sorry. Who knows?

Maybe I'd shave off the mustache and do the Amish button chops and just have nothing up here. So this is what I'm looking for right now. Can some fan artist out there draw each of us flat as ugly, me as really dumb? And you can't use the stereotypical, like, oh, dumb person is...

ugly and has like weird teeth or something like that because that's a stereo of you know a visual stereotype and I'm good how do you well how do you visually make someone look I mean I guess it's just like a posture thing right put them in a body position you know avoid avoid the stereotypical depictions of what a quote-unquote dumb person was

Please avoid the stereotypical depictions of what a short person looks like. All the fan art people do of me, I'm like fucking two feet tall anyway. This isn't going to make a single difference. They draw me as a little goblin. And I love it. It's great. I love it. I can fit in cracks and crevices. Usually with the fan arts that I see very often, it's like Schlatt's a small tiny ramp that yells. Charlie's a small little gloopy gloop. And then I'm just a guy.

Fully towering over us. Because I'm the one who just didn't choose a fucking character at my creation point of YouTubing. At the most, you've got a white hat on. Yeah, I've got the milkman. I've got the milkman thing, but that's still literally just the whitest guy. You know that Hassan once told me,

I think you were nearby, Schlatt, for this. He told me that I'm like the whitest guy ever and that I should be a Vineyard Vines model. Oh, I totally agree. It might have even been me who said the Vineyard Vines thing.

Because growing up in New York, that is so fucking pervasive. The fucking assholes high school students with the Vineyard Vines power vests like they're already in Wall Street. Like, fuck you. Fuck you, that little pink whale. That little fucking pink Vineyard Vines whale. Fuck you if you wear that shit. Salmon pink shorts. Oh, the salmon shorts? Cocky shorts. Cocky shorts. Oh, God, dude. Right above the knee. No, please. Kill me. Kill me. Kill you. Sparrows. Sparrows.

Sperry's. Stop, man. And they've been worn for a long time. Yeah. And the belt, the belt thing, a lot of like... Usually like the ankle white socks too with the Sperry's is what I saw. Yeah, really bad. I saw that a lot. Yeah. Really bad. Well, hey, I think we've covered that question pretty well. Yeah, we did. What do you say we venture into the controversial...

Oh, I would love that. I would love that. Let's venture into the, you say we venture into the little controversial section of, would you rather for the past month? I did the due diligence. I did the due diligence.

I ventured in. I sacrificed my own mental health for the next couple questions I'm going to ask. No, you got even more controversial. This isn't like nobody's business. This is not funny. Ted, this is not funny. These questions are not funny. Ted, this is why he's so controversial. He keeps doing this for us. Would you rather take away all women's rights or never be able to do anything you enjoy? Please.

Oh, dude. No. No. I'll be the first to say it. Real talk, if someone gave me this choice, I would just choose never to do something I enjoy, unfortunately. Really? You'd do that? Interesting. I don't know if I would. You would.

Well, that doesn't... Okay, listen. This is easy for you. Take away the rights of an entire group of people based on their immutable qualities or... Be bored. My happiness. Hey, there's a reason why it's... Okay, but there's a broad definition of things that you enjoy, though, Schlatt. Like, I particularly enjoy not to starve.

Well, you don't enjoy not to starve. You just don't. Oh, I love not starving. That's a wonderful thing. That's one of my favorite things to do. But you don't go around telling people like, hey, what do you do? I don't starve. And it's fucking awesome. Some people like to eat. Okay, but some people like to eat fucking frosted tips, diners dash.

Oh, you have to eat a head of lettuce for breakfast. Like, it's just, you just can't enjoy things anymore. You probably have to eat a whole head of celery. Guy Fieri, Guy Fieri, he loves to eat food. If he can't do something he likes, does that mean that now we're taking away by the rules of this, would you rather, his ability to eat?

Yeah. You're looking into this way too hard. Some dude punched this out in 30 seconds, set up a poll and posted it. And would you rather? The fact that you care so much about the details here really says a lot, Ted. Yeah. Why are you considering this? So are you considering this a lot, Ted? Are you considering taking away women's rights? I would do it. I would do it. I would get rid of all rights.

cowboy mode no one should have rights you know what no one should have rights at all struggling with this so much because it's like it's not like it's gonna actually happen there should be no there should be no rights whatsoever to bring it back to fucking cowboy times we do what we want if shit happens shit happens well i have my own rights that you should not infringe upon my own personal handbook i feel like this question itself choice infringes on my rights

I think it is an infringement on my rights to even place this question in front of me in the first place. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I violated your NAP, and it won't happen again. Okay. Your NAP? What is – your NAP? What are you talking about? Yeah, your non-aggression –

Next question, gentlemen. Do you prefer... He's firing on all cylinders right now. He's got a fucking V8 engine in there right now. Hey, you know what? No cold. No cold right now. No cold right now. No traffic. I'm killing it. Where were those fingers before they touched your face? I think you might have gotten some droplets, buddy. Do you prefer silly talking lizards or angry men? Silly talking lizards. Easily. Easily.

Silly talking lizards. What is this a reference to? I don't know. I don't know. That's all the question said. Do you prefer silly talking lizards or angry men? There are hundreds of votes. No, it has to be a reference to something, right? Michelangelo from the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles, clearly. No, but no, no, no, no. But it's like, what is something that has both, right? Or that had one and it was replaced by the other? Before the Geico Gecko. The White House. The White House. Oh.

Oh, interesting. A little bit of a conspiracy moment from Schlatt. Silly talking lizards. Which president do you think was a silly talking lizard, Schlatt? Oh, surely Woodrow Wilson. Surely that Taft fella, you know? Oh, God, dude. The guy had to get a custom bathtub in order to fit into it. Exactly. And you know what? I'll raise you one higher. Harry Truman? Yeah.

Harry Truman, you know what he did? Besides the whole bomb thing? He said, yeah, I don't have a middle name. I'll just adopt S. S will be my middle name. S dot. Harry S. Truman. Like a sound a lizard would make. Oh, sizzle, sizzle, sizzle. He's actually a frying pan. Wait. Dude, I think you might have picked up some droplets earlier or something.

Yeah. Oh, I'm high as a kite right now. You guys both look like bears. You look a little flushed right now. How's the traffic, Ted? You're looking flushed, man. Check the traffic report for me. Oh, all clear. My hands are tentacles right now. I don't know who my name is.

Dude, I genuinely want you so badly to wake up tomorrow. I thought you were going to end it there. I thought you were going to end it there. Dude, I want you so badly because that was right when you chose to breathe. I want you so badly.

That was right in the part of the sentence that you just agreed. Someone please just clip that part and make it an animatic or something and just end the fucking video after that. We're giving our fans a lot of work this episode. Oh my god. No, I was going to say I want you so badly to wake up tomorrow morning, open your window, see no cars on the road, and just start hearing the fucking 28 Days Later theme in your head. That's what I want more than anything.

That's got to be the most terrifying thing to wake up to. You guys ever seen any sort of content from that movie The Mist? Yes. Mm-hmm.

Sort of just like... Imagine waking up in a city or something. Empty streets and then just sort of a fog situated throughout the city and you just gotta walk through that and figure out what the hell's going on. That is terrifying. It's literally my fucking favorite vibe. That's your favorite vibe? That's a cool vibe. Yeah, I like that. You like that vibe? No one around? Mist? Dude, I would love it if there was no one around and just a fucking lot of mist everywhere. He's got a mist... I'm dead serious.

To be fair, let's take this vibe and turn it into something a little more enjoyable, not one where there's no one left. You got missed. What if it's like a morning drive to the airport, you know? The sun is coming up. It's dark. There's kind of like a morning dew everywhere. You know, it's getting brighter. There's a little bit of fog. It's crisp air. You breathe in.

But it's a nice experience, right? That's a good thing. We all remember that. This is the bad ending you get when you pick no traffic but always cold. And then you feel a little tickle in your throat. That is what you described right now, Schlatt, is something that every person who works in our world wishes for but never attains is seeing that.

waking up at like 6 a.m. or something. Maybe Charlie, because you're sort of like an organized and you seem to have a lot more, you seem to be far more capable than the two of us. He cares about health, evidently. No, Charlie, when you wake up in the morning. Dude, I want you so bad.

Why is that? All the answers. The simplest question. That's the one that you chose to redirect. I had already planned I was going to say that. I wake up at now. Don't say nine. No, I woke up at seven today.

I knew it. 7 a.m.? I knew it. I knew it. I would have been offended at 9. That's why I said don't say 9. And usually, though, I wake up at 9. Dude, I fucking knew it. 7 a.m. 7 a.m.? I'm trying to be better about it because I hate it when it gets dark out really early. It fucks with me. True. True. I actually enjoy it. It's kind of like a kick in the ass. It's like, fuck, well, I better save you this daylight. But also, I woke up today at 10.30.

And then I was so tired. My body couldn't do it. Then I went back to sleep for like another three hours. I got this nice, I had this nice, beautiful couch with a very heavy pillow on it. I took the, I sleep on my couch now because I bought a very, very nice, so comfy, so comfy couch. You guys got to sit on my couch when you're here. I took the heavy ass pillow. I laid down on the couch and I just put the,

huge ass pillow on me and it weighed me down like a little weighted blanket and I just slept. I had the most beautiful extra three hours of sleep in my life. God damn. I think what happened to me was that I don't wake up early anymore, but what I do is I'm up until 2 a.m.

Yeah. So it just... The timeline of it all just kind of shifted to the... Let's say the timeline moves left to right. It just kind of shifted to the right by a couple of points. Dude, it doesn't work, though, because end of the day, I've tried it so much, because everyone in our field... If you guys don't know this, people listening to this, everyone in our field, if you go to bed at, like, fucking 12 or something... And we're talking about YouTubers, influencers in general. Especially me, because I'm East Coast. Dude, you're fucked. Everyone asks to do things, like, after 1 a.m. It's literally insane. And I just... I can't. My brain doesn't operate. Yeah, honestly, I would say that I probably...

I probably have the least excuse to be going to bed at 2 a.m. because nobody's awake. It's fucking 5 a.m. for you, Charlie, when I'm going to bed. Yeah, I know. Ding-a-ding. Time to wake up. Get out my phone. Pull out my mindfulness app. Three minutes. What? You got a mindfulness app? Listen to... You're mindful? Listen to Cosmic Drunkard.

drones, breathe in, hold it, breathe out. You do breathing exercises when you wake up? Go to the closet, feed the guinea pigs. You go to the closet? Put on the shorts, put on the shirt, go run five kilometers, come back, come back, breakfast sandwich maker. That's a number? Start sizzling.

He does a 5K every morning? English muffin. That's almost three miles. English muffin. Or more. Slightly more. Cheddar cheese. Turkey. Close it. Egg. He's making a cha-cha? Sizzle. Salt. You've got groceries? A little more. Chipotle. Mayo. Coming out. Spinach. Tomato. Oh. Cut it. Oh. Cut it. Oikos. No good. Triple zero. Strawberry. Add blueberries to the mix. Stir. Granola, if you have any. Plate it.

Charlie, you're pissing me off. You should stop talking because this is really pissing me off. It's not pissing me off as much as it's stressing me out how little my life is together when I hear it. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. No, this is pissing me off because I realize how much work it'll take to get to where he's at. After my three-hour nap after I woke up, it was like probably two, three. What did I do? I door dashed. I rolled out of bed.

Wearing the same clothes. I didn't run a 5K. I ordered a fucking sandwich. You want to hear something interesting? I'm only doing that. I'm doing the turkey trot with my mom. She asked me, do you want to do a 5K? Oh, the turkey trot. That's classic. I've done the turkey trot before. So I'm running more for that. I used to do cross country. I fucking hate running, though, in general. I'm not a fan. Running is tough.

Here's one person Speaking of habits You hear about something That someone does every day And you're like I can't believe that you're able to Maintain that

um eddie burback he is run every single day for the last two years wow holy shit that's awesome yeah you know and he always gets himself to do it it does like it's like sometimes he does in the morning sometimes he does it late dude that's but he still he still does it though and i guess you get used to it yeah i could only do that i was like really i fucking down like a

a month last year probably two months where i would go out and i'd run about like three or four miles like through a fucking forest trail by my house like every day but and then like i i stopped as soon as i you know got back into my because i was with my parents for a bit i soon as soon as i got back here i stopped because it's like it's so hard to to find the time and make that commitment that's really fucking impressive he does that yeah right really impressive

We should do another Would You Rather. Yeah, no, sorry. I was literally just forgot. No, no, it's okay. Okay, which biblical plague power would you rather have? Option one, you can turn water into blood. Option two, summon an army of frogs. Option three, you can curse people with boils. Option four, you can send down power. I want that. Option four, you can send down powerful lightning and hail once a month. They had to nerf that one.

Option five, you can spread darkness over the sky once a week. And option six, once a year, you can magically kill any firstborn at will. Frowny face. What? What? Okay, what's the original framing of this question? Which biblical plague power would you rather have? Oh. Boils. Boils. I'm doing boils. Frogs? Do they talk about the frogs? Yes. Summon an army of frogs is option two.

What are they gonna do? People just step on them. Dude, it's an army of frogs, man. How many are we talking? I'd rather just give boils to people I don't like. What the fuck are you gonna do against, like, 30 frogs, let alone 1,000, man? I'd hate to break this to you. Walk away? I'm sorry, walk away? All I have to do is put you in a goddamn hole.

Give the frogs boils, maybe? All I gotta do is put you in a hole and put 30 frogs in? No. What are you gonna do? I'm getting in my car, and you know what? I'm driving because there's no traffic in my life. But what's that? You got a frog in your throat? It's sort of like the... Shled, think about it this way. It's sort of like the immortal snail question. And have you guys heard of this? It's a TikTok trend right now.

What's the immortal snail? It's basically like the choice of having immortality, but there is a snail that chases you for the rest of your quote-unquote life, and if it touches you, you die. That's like the movie It Follows. It is, but it's a snail. Dude, that movie's awesome. And you're not having sex with anybody. And you're not immortal. True. So the concept of following is what you're talking about.

Honestly, it doesn't seem that hard. Just have two houses, right? Two? If you're fucking immortal, you have time, right? Like, whatever. Does the snail know where you are at all times? It's always moving towards you at all times. Well, can you trap it? No. That's what I think. The snail goes through every obstacle.

What? Like it's made of magma? No, no, you can't do that. Yeah, the snail goes through every obstacle. Yeah, it does. It's a snail. It can't go through every obstacle. Dude, it's fine. If I 3D print a little... It's fine. It's as slow as a snail. It probably won't catch up. Why am I not surprised that Charlie here is the defender of the snail? Because the snail has not... Tech Talk did not invent the snail. The snail was prevalent before this. I've heard discourse of the snail. The snail is out there somewhere. What world would I want to live in where a snail can walk through...

It's just the one snail, and it's after you. I don't want to be immortal in that. I'd be anxious as hell all the time. What is the death like, Charlie? You seem to know a lot about this question. I'm telling you, the first, second, I'd accept this if I didn't

think that the snail had that kind of power, I'd be like, yeah, fucking give me that snail. I'll deal with it the first day. There's nothing in this world you can do to stop the snail. The second I build that enclosure and I put it on top of the snail and I just see the head of the snail phase through it, like...

I would find her if it's like everything in the way of the snail. Like cartoon acid. It just like melts. Yeah, like, and then the snail just comes through like, what are you going to fucking do about it, dude? Dude, can you imagine waking up one morning and you sit up and you just see at the base of your door there's just a tiny hole burnt. You're like, oh, fuck. Or just a trail of slime. Oh, yeah, maybe it does leave a trail. That'd be fun.

I would still that seems like fun. That seems like a cool little mini game I could have going. Yeah, you could vlog a game. Yeah, I mean, I'm sure that you could avoid it would just require a lot of sort of executive manage executive functioning management skills, which is to track the snail. I mean, I would probably work.

very hard to become as rich as possible to have people hired to be sort of the snail watchers. Even if you don't, you could just set up a fucking spy gear motion sensor. You hear the snail, you're like, okay, time to run. And then you just go. Get a ring for the snail. Yeah, but I mean, you know, I would maybe even hire a witch, perhaps. Well, now you're just getting ridiculous.

This will never happen, Ted. What the fuck is your problem? You're insane, man. Witches aren't real. Witches aren't real, dude. What the fuck? Neither are indestructible snails. Tell that to... You gotta go, man. You gotta go. So, Schlapp, what was that other would-you-rather that we were doing?

Oh, would you rather... Do you want the new one? Yeah, well, what was that one that we were about to talk about when we started talking about the snail? Silly talking lizards? It's actually really fucking tiny. I don't see how anything... Like, I could just kick it. Oh, he's gone. They got him. Ted, would you rather your best friend walk in on you fucking a dog or a dog walk in on you fucking your best friend? Is there a way to do both? LAUGHTER

It's just a disembodied voice. What would you rather do? I'd rather a dog walking on me fucking my bestie. You know, let's say I make this choice when I'm married. My wife will be my best friend. So true. And so having the dog walking on me. Actually, my wife is a dog. You guys remember that? This is more of a question on whether or not you prefer bestiality or fucking your best friend. So true. So true. But what if we're best friends, Ted?

I would rather, Schlatt, I'd rather fuck you than be honest. Oh, Jesus Christ, Ted. Really? Really? If given the choice. You'd rather fuck me than have me walk in on you fucking a dog? Because I'll tell you what I'd rather do. I'd rather walk in on you fucking a dog.

Don't invest that much in the imagery. Otherwise, we're going to have some real terrible shit coming out of this podcast. Hey, can we get a fan artist on this one? No. No. That is fucking gross, dude. I'd honestly say my best friend is probably my girlfriend. So I'd say the dog one. I was saying that, like, you know.

That's usually how people want a relationship. Yeah, exactly. I'm very close to her. I've had the most time with my girlfriend. Yeah, exactly. It's like, yeah, sure. Yeah, I guess if you're really making me pick, I guess I'll fuck my girlfriend. Like what? You guys are twisting and turning this into something it's not. Just because you want to fuck a dog doesn't mean you need to rephrase the question, man. I just... I'm trying to fuck a dog. I'm trying to fuck a dog.

It's going to be a new episode of Animal Cops from Animal Planet. You ever see that show? No. Episode one. Someone's fucking a dog right there. They walk in. They say, that's a crime. No, it was a show on Animal Planet. It was like Cops, but for animal abuse. For animals, yeah.

Yeah. Why not the regular cops deal with it? I would almost. Why they got to hire a dog to deal with the dog show? I think there's a pretty high likelihood it was actual cops, but it was just all centered around animal abuse. They should rename the show to fucking snitch. They put a frog in a vest. What are you going to do? They put a dog in a what? They put a frog in a vest. What are you going to do?

Army of frogs. What are you going to do? Army of frogs. Army of frogs. Sly, do you have any more? No, that's it. That's all I got. Really? Wow. All right. Well, I have a nightmare story for this week, guys. I don't usually bring stories, but I had one locked and loaded for this week, if you would let me have a segue. Yeah, please. Okay, everyone get on the segues. Here we go. All right, here we go. We're on the segue. Topic, topic.

Okay, everyone, here we're passing by the would-you-rathers. You can see them right there on your left. You know how the founder of Segway died on a Segway? He fell off a cliff. Oh, what's that? And here we're coming up on a cliff. So, last weekend... Yeah, that was an awesome Segway.

Last weekend, I was watching The Eternals with Grace. Oh, God. It's a terrible movie. I know. She was really excited to see it. I was like, how bad could it be? They were right to call it that because it never fucking ended. I seriously don't think I've... How long was it? It's two hours and 40 minutes long, I think.

Jeez. It is intense. Like, never before have I ever been in a movie that I'm like, this should have ended easily an hour ago. And I remember looking up. I didn't know how long it was I was in. I was an hour in. I was like, wow. It's crazy. That was the big twist. Oh, we got here.

20 minutes ago. It sucked, dude. There was some interesting parts to it. I'm not going to spoil anything, but mostly it sucked ass. They had Kit Harington, and he was on the screen for like five seconds, I guess. It was perhaps the... There was like the most dislikable character I've ever seen in cinema, too. That little bitch Sprite. Yes, yes. That fucking child. Wow, what a terrible... How am I supposed to...

Am I supposed to be like, yeah, Eternals. Dude, I kind of want to spoil it now and fucking talk about it because I have some nits to pick. It's a Marvel movie. Who fucking cares? Fuck Sprite. Fuck Sprite. Terrible character. They do the whole Tinkerbell thing with her. Fuck that. Okay. Oh my God. This guy's named Icarus. What is this movie even about? This guy's named Icarus. What's he going to do? Oh, he flew too close to the sun? Let me guess. No, he flew. He flew.

Almost completely out of left field. No reason, really. It's just at the end of the movie, he's like, oh, my name's Icarus and I haven't done it yet.

So we finished watching this absolute garbage. Everyone is unlikable. I don't remember any of them. They all suck. They suck a lot. And every scene where Icarus is flying looks like a Freddie W. YouTube video. Like, the VFX were just not too good. He's got, yeah, they all had some bunk. Freddie W. made pretty good VFX for what they were doing. Well, I mean, you knew you were on YouTube when you were watching Freddie W. Oh, but it was sort of like...

not a full professional team. The antagonist too was like, like it was just like, Oh, it's an alien. Yeah.

Right. Fuck you. Interesting. So we finished watching it and we were at the... Oh, right. This is a story. Yeah, this is a story. Oh, yeah. I'm not very good at these. I thought we were just talking about Eternals first. We finished watching this. We watched this at the drive-thru. I don't really like going to traditional movie theaters after the pandemic. So we're sitting there in the car. You know, you got to regulate it. All right. You turn on the car. The engine starts revving. You got to look around for social cues. Someone's looking at you. You turn it off. Roll down a window. Regulate the heat. 40 degrees out, like 90 degrees in. You're fogging. Defroster. Turn it on.

only air, not enough fogging up more turn on the engine again. Just go to a movie. You finally get done with the movie. Um, and some people, when they're doing all this finicky nonsense, their battery dies, their car battery dies. So I turn on the lights and the person in front of me, I see them coming out of this main sort of shack where they have all the snacks and stuff with jumper cables.

Right. And they're putting them on and I'm like, oh shit, I've never seen this happen before. And Grace is like, yeah, me neither. And I'm putting it in reverse. And I'm like, man, I can't imagine if something like that happened to me here at the boom. No. Oh, I get out of the car. College age kid. He's like, oh, fuck, dude. I'm like, oh, geez.

Did you hit them? Yeah, I backed into them. Because usually I'm really good about this. I hadn't bumped into anyone in fucking five years, right? But I was watching this thing with the jumper cables, and I was worried about them. I was like, should we go help? Let's see what they're doing. And I was actively backing up. And you realize, really slowly, just bump.

I get out of the car. I'm like, oh, shit, but it's all right. I know what to do. We're going to trade insurance. He's like so fucking distraught. We start exchanging information. I start, you know. How bad was it? I'll tell you in a second. We're both – because it's dark out, right? We can't really see. I start throwing around some light jokes because I'm not very good at feeling out the mood. I was like, oh, yeah, sorry about that. I was –

I was flashing back to Mesopotamia and like, you know, like we had just both watched this terrible fucking movie. Yeah. So, you know, he chuckled a little. He chuckled a little. And I was like, that's good. We gave each other our numbers. I think I said some other joke. Man, I'm nervous, dude. You're making me nervous. I said another joke. He chuckled again. A lot of buildup. And he said, wait, are you? And I went, oh, fuck. Oh, fuck.

So I said, before I answer you, and I pulled out my flashlight and I shined it, there was no damage on either of the cars. I was like, okay, yeah, fuck, I am. So it was crazy. We exchanged numbers, and he was like, my friends are never going to believe me. I was like, okay, this is probably the most embarrassing shit ever, but let me see your phone for a sec. And

I took a picture with him in front of like the, we, we posed up like he was like angrily yelling at me and I was just like fucking cowering. And it turned this, it turned this like absolutely just, uh, terrifying moment. Cause I was really worried. I just ruined some guy's date. Um, and mine into this fucking fun thing. So I'm going to probably ask, uh, I'm going to ask him for the picture at some point and tweet it out. Cause it was,

It was funny. Yeah, no. You got me real nervous. I was nervous, too. Yeah, I thought it was like the car was somehow fucking totaled in a grass field as you were slightly backing up or something. Yeah, I get out. The spark's illuminating my face. Yeah, after tapping the back of the vehicle, the kid walks out, and he's like, dude, I think you just broke my neck. Dude, I...

Dude, I fucking had that happen. Jesus Christ, that happened. You broke my neck. You broke my neck, didn't you? Didn't you? I'm calling the police. I feel that. Ouch, jeez. Oh, man. Oh, I feel it in my back. Did I ever talk about the self-inflicted accident I gave on myself with the truck? No.

So when when my my buddy Tucker, who, by the way, runs the Chuckle Sandwich Highlights channel, we love him to death, was visiting L.A. with his with his wife. We went I took him to Disney because they had just, you know, gotten married. And we were for the last day on the Sunday we were doing last day at Disney. We were there for two days.

um we got into the parking lot where the truck is and i just sort of start backing up out of the spot and i hear the very very loud noise it's like a and i'm like oh what was that you hit satan what was what was going on what's going on there and i and i looked and i see my camera's dead you can just keep telling the story to me if you want because this could be our last bit anyway so

And I look and I see that in this parking garage that I was in, I had parked next to a pillar. And when I was backing up, I was rotating out as if to sort of rotate out to the left and then kind of go out. This is my worst fear. What I did was I rotated into the pillar and it took my...

hand rear view mirror clean off of the truck. Oh, fuck. And left a massive gash in the side passenger door. And it wasn't even like... It wasn't even like I got hit by a car or something. This is all me. There's no insurance that needs to be put in this situation. Super simple. Just...

like lost money and that's it. In a way that's better though, because now your insurance isn't going up. Like you just handle that shit on your own. There's no, there's no hassle to, you don't have to deal with anyone. Like, yeah, I still have a, I still have a giant gash from the incident on the, on the passenger. Cause I have to go to like a fucking body shop for that. But I, it took me so long. Like it took me like a full week to, of driving around LA before I got that mirror fixed. And then it was like in the shop for a week. But in that time, it's,

You'd be surprised how important the right side mirror is for doing anything in LA. Because you're driving, you're looking forward, and in order to

you know, merge right whenever I need to merge right requires me to turn my body all the way around to look at the traffic behind me in order to be able to move over. It was a miserable time, but yeah, no. So yeah, like out the window, but yeah, first time in like, like fucking several years that I had gotten in any form of accident.

But yeah, I guess that's all we have today, folks, for this episode. Is there any sort of final comments, questions, concerns? Yeah, so I guess just to kind of circle back around, Schlott, dick and mouth, right? Yeah, dick and mouth. Dick and mouth. Dick and ass. Dick and mouth. Yeah, and I also want the dick in the ass. Thanks for watching Chuckle Sandwich. Bye-bye. Bye. See you later.

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