ConnorEatsPants Returns!
01:31:03 Share

Chucklers, at this time of year, maybe you're looking back on all the amazing memories you have from 2024, especially if you're in love. Maybe you're already looking ahead to your plans in 2025, and maybe, just maybe, those plans involve getting engaged to the one that you're in love with. For anyone about to take that momentous step, I recommend sourcing their engagement ring from BlueNile.com. BlueNile is the original online jeweler since 1999. On BlueNile.com, you can create a bigger, more brilliant piece than you can imagine at a price that you won't find anywhere else.

That's because Blue Nile offers a diamond price guarantee, which means that in most cases they can meet or beat a competitor's price on a comparable diamond, and you can feel great about your purchase. They're committed to ensuring that the highest ethical standards are observed when sourcing diamonds and jewelry, so you can feel great about that too, Chucklers. Blue Nile also offers a 100% satisfaction guarantee with guaranteed free shipping and returns, then guaranteed service and repairs for life. And don't worry, every Blue Nile order is insured and arrives in packaging that won't give away what's inside.

In most cases, it can be even delivered overnight. Just in case you want to make one more unforgettable memory in 2024. Right now, go to BlueNile.com and use code CHUCKLE for $50 off of your purchase of $500 or more. That's $50 off with code CHUCKLE at BlueNile.com. BlueNile.com.

This episode is brought to you by Allstate.

Some people just know they could save hundreds on car insurance by checking Allstate first. Like you know to check the date of the big game first before you accidentally buy tickets on your 20th wedding anniversary and have to spend the next 20 years of your marriage making up for it. Yeah, checking first is smart. So check Allstate first for a quote that could save you hundreds. You're in good hands with Allstate. Savings vary. Terms apply. Allstate Fire and Casualty Insurance Company and Affiliates. Northbrook, Illinois.

I've had a lot of people tell me that their favorite chuckle was the one I was on and it always surprised me because I remember that day I got... Yeah, I remember you told me something after that episode. Yeah, that morning I got a call from my doctor, if you remember, and they were like, yo, you may have cancer. Right, right. This is like an hour before the show. That's the Connor Eats Pants cancer episode. Yeah, we went to a bagel place right before and we're there and I'm thinking, I'm like,

like, do I like talk, like, do I like do this as a bit? Like on, like on Chuck, do I go like, yeah, I may have can't like, I break this news to you guys on the show too. And like process it. I was like, no, I'm not going to do that. What kind of doctor says you might have cancer? Well, cause I wanted me to come back in for more tests. And then I was like, Oh, like, is everything good? And they're like, yeah, it's just a little concern. Like these numbers. And I was like, Oh yeah. These are kind of cancer. They're cancer numbers. Yeah. Yeah. These are cancer. It's like the opposite of angel numbers. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. 316. Yeah, that's John. Nice. 18-6. Okay. Sure, yeah. You know 18-6. Oh, if ever these little ones are to stumble...

Oh, yeah. But whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to stumble in sin, it would be better for him to have a heavy millstone hung around his neck and to be drowned in the depth of the sea. I mean, that's true. I mean, like in an ideal world, that is a better situation than that. You just got to get some millstones is really the really the question. Where do you find them?

Probably... Mills? Mills. Yeah. Farms. Where you do work with cattle. Yeah. Generally. I would hate to have a real job. Oh my god. That would suck. Real job cringe. Did you guys ever have a real job? I know you did. Oh yeah? I did. Well, he had one when he was 12. What was your job? Landscaping. Boom. Job. Right there. We got fucking staples. So you worked at daddy's landscaping company. Wasn't my dad. Whose was it? It was my dad. Yeah.

Welcome to Chuckle Sandwich. I worked on a lot of film sets on, like, fucking Craigslist film sets where we're driving up to fucking... Driving out to... I'm driving to...

Vans to Yonkers And we're For fucking Shitty day rates At a hundred dollars For the day or whatever Yeah that was That was my only real job For two and a half To three weeks Was spinning the sign Outside of Little Caesars At an outlet Near my home You spun the sign? Yeah for like Two and a half days Really? Did you have to wear a suit? No I just had to spin a sign Were you dressed up as Caesar? No they didn't have me do that I literally could wear whatever And like I just spun the sign But it was awful Because it was Atlanta Humidity in like Early August Yeah

And I was like, yeah, I don't want to do this. So then I just quit. I quiet quitted. I just didn't show up anymore. That's not quiet quitting. I can tell you what quiet quitting is. Quiet quitting is when you stay employed, but you slack off, you coast. Oh. Yeah. So like Charlie. You've quit. You've checked out. Yeah. Kind of like what you're doing with the podcast, right? Yeah. Yeah. So I never understood sign spinning because...

The act of spinning the sign totally gets rid of the purpose of the sign, which is to direct you to where the establishment is. No, I mean, I guess. Yeah, it does really create a question in terms of the directionality of where it is. So, I mean, the idea is just that, like, if you're driving past this outlet that has, like, a subway and, like, you know, like a spa or something. Sure. You see the guy and you're like, oh, they have a Little Caesars. I can go get pizza here.

If you're stopped at a red light. It's kind of just like an advertisement. It's not actually telling you to go that way. I think we had one that was like pointing, but it didn't even matter. Like it was like this guy, like he had like a $5 pizza sign. Oh, wow. Yeah. And was yours was the $5 one? Yeah, that was their thing. And you wore a vest? I don't know. I don't think I had like that guy in the bottom right has like a vest. Oh, yeah. I didn't have that. That's a get up right there. Oh, he's got a guitar. Yeah.

- Oh yeah, wait so you were playing, you were shredding? - No I'm telling you I didn't have that one. - You didn't have that. - I just had the normal, yeah. - Oh. - That's what I had. - Damn, did you wear a red shirt or was it just like-- - I just wore my clothes, dude. Like I would leave school and I would just show up. - What about this shit? - I don't understand why you're getting frustrated with me, I'm just trying to learn more about you.

I'm just trying to learn more about you, Connor, and that's why we had you here on the podcast today. Welcome, everybody, to Chuckle Sandwich. We've got Connor Eastpant. Thank you. He's a little bit against me this episode. It's not true. I don't know if it's because... It's not true. You just act stupid. I love theater. Oh. Wow. All right. You're just picking totally innocent content. So we're making fun of disabled people now. Is that what's going on? I have ADHD. I'm disabled. I'm disabled, too. Yeah, you are. You're not even started. He's...

Kid me? You can barely walk. What's your poison? Which one do you want to hear? Oh, give me the list. Give me the itinerary. ADHD, OCD. Boom. Eventually a doctor was like, oh, you're on the spectrum because of these things. They were like, I don't agree with those. You're this. And so then I just gave up. Like which spectrum? Like autism spectrum. Oh, okay. So I was like. It's better than.

my internet yeah so yeah wait good one thanks man i'm so happy to have you guys cheers cheers these are special jokes i was saving for you yes i mean at this point i just don't even like i just i'm just me and cancer and cancer cancer that's definitely disappointing but it went away benign benign yeah

So wait, was it a mass? No, it was literally like they took numbers and they thought it might be cancer and they took numbers again. Oh, okay. When you say benign, that makes it sound like you had a tumor. It does sound like I actually had a tumor. No, I didn't. The numbers themselves were benign. Yeah, they were angel numbers. Angel numbers. Yeah.

- Can you imagine you're like in the high range of something and he's like, "But it's an angel number." - Like they're reading up there, "Oh, is that looking good? "Oh, it is an angel number." - Your cholesterol is 777, but don't worry, even though that's like almost tripled the healthy amount, it's actually an angel number. So you're gonna be okay. As long as you don't go to 778 or 776, you're fine. - Just maintain it there. - My heart rate's at 11, but I mean, it's good.

I have a high resting heart rate. Me too. Mine's really high. But you know what they say? They say that people with low resting heart rates are violent. Yeah, I've heard that too. Look this up, Tucker. Low resting heart rate correlates to violence in men. I'm going to call Tucker Jamie throughout the episode because it's funny to me. It's all right. Is that okay, Tucker? That's fine. Because it's like Joe Rogan? Yeah. That's fine. That's how I made people understand him for a while, but I think that people on the podcast...

Like, our watchers have really... I don't think that they... A lot, the majority of our viewers watch any other podcast besides Chuckle Sandwich. Because people will be like, wait, okay, so Tucker's on the podcast, but... And he's talking. So that means that he's 100% third member. That's his role. And, like, they've never... They are. They've always been confused. Not that you're not... For Chuckle Week, it's more of a Jamie role. Yeah.

But when it's just us, when it's just daddy and daddy, you know, I come out and play a little bit. Papa, daddy, and little Jimmy. Who's Jimmy? You're little Jimmy. I thought you were calling Schlatt little Jimmy. No, dude, I'm daddy. That's daddy. No, you're Uncle Spud. Scroll down here. Wait, no, look at that. AI over you. No, no, I don't want the AI. I want the actual study, please. Holy, okay. Compared to men with resting heart rates greater than 83 per minute, that's me, by the way,

the low heart rate group was 39% more likely to be convicted of violent crimes? - Is it 'cause their blood runs cold? - That's significant. - I think it's just 'cause they're more active people. - Yeah, they're used to, they're better at-- - So they can get out. - They do more shit. - I would think they're just more calm. Like they're more like, they don't react as much. - Lower heart rates is usually consistent with more, like being in better shape.

Because it's just like healthy. Your heart's working less hard to keep you pumped. Yeah, or like it's just your heart's stronger or something. Whenever I kill people, I'm like way over 83 beats. That is a good point. Whenever I do something bad, my heart rate usually spikes. Right. You know? Really? Yeah. You don't? No. You stay calm.

What's your resting heart rate? Oh, my resting? Like, I'll check myself in the morning, and it's like, it's just sitting at 100. It's 120.

That's awesome. So I did do an, I, when I did the Anthony Padilla episode, I kept, I was wearing my Apple watch and I kept getting little notifications from my Apple watch where it was like, Hey, your heart rate's high. So I was like, God, my Apple watch is being so annoying. It's telling me my heart rate's too high. And I was like, he was like, or, or you know what? I saw him at the streamies and that had come up and then it came up again because he was like showing some serious concern about it. Yes.

Yeah, so no, it's sitting around 100, 120. I think it's because of my meds. Because I'll go off my meds and I'll be rocking like 80 or something. Yeah. So you get violent off your meds is what you're saying. Oh, like, yeah, dude. Like, I'm fine, though. Okay.

Why are you, you're like restraining your right arm right now. It's like you're holding it down. Dude, yeah, no. No! Just a little inherent response. Yeah, no, but I'm so happy to have you here today. I'm happy to be here. I'm so happy to have you here today. It's crazy. I was talking with you about this a few weeks ago when I went to TwitchCon. It's been five years that we've been like doing this like...

- Successfully. - This whole thing. - Yeah, like successfully. - Five years, is that true? - I mean 2019 TwitchCon was five years ago. - Yeah. - I was just growing in 2019. - Yeah, we all were. - I would say that 2020 was my year. - That's fair. - I mean I thought you were big at the time in 2019. - You were a late bloomer. - I was a little bit of a late bloomer. - I thought Ted was one of the bigger, when we started, I was like Ted's like-- - Bigger in stature but not in numbers. - I always thought you were like-- - I think I hit like 100,000 subs in the fall of 2019. - Yeah.

- So like-- - Oh, okay. - Yeah, that's late. That's late, dude. I was there like a year before. - Yeah, we're all around the same time. - I was at 7,500 subscribers in January of 2019. - Small. - So, if they give you an understanding of like where-- - Yeah, it's about-- - It just passed five years for me doing it full time when I dropped out of college. - When did you drop out? - About a month into the semester.

2019. Yeah. I just, I fucking was like, I got to finish this. Yeah. That's why you were a late bloomer. Yeah. Because your, your time was spent. My output has been the same though. That's what usually happens. Yeah. Yeah. You think like when you finish school, you're like, Oh,

Yeah, man. My output was better when I was in high school. I actually worked harder, I feel, if that makes sense. The routines. Yeah, I think the routines. That was the routine. That's why I've started doing little class things outside of- Oh, nice. Outside of- Classes? Yeah, classes. Of what? Various skills.

You want to do an improv class? That's what I was doing. I would absolutely go to an improv class. Really? Yeah, I feel like that. I did one in middle school, and I think that really helped with streaming. What I did was I did this little workshop thing where it was showing the bass stuff, and then I actually recently did an audition. Because you have to audition for their basic classes and go through the stuff. And so I did that literally on...

like right before Chuckle Week started, like the day that you guys landed. I'd rather go to like a shitty improv class where you go on Craigslist and it's like a guy here that has been a failed actor for 20 years. Yeah, like I want to be in the victorious improv class, not something you have to audition for. Mr. What's his name? Dershowitz? No. Psychowitz. Psychowitz. Psychowitz sipping out of a coconut. Well, there's a bunch of different improv schools. There's UCB, Upright Citizens Brigade, and a lot of people like that.

Did they name Psychowitz off Alan Dershowitz now that I think about it? Maybe. Who's Alan Dershowitz? I forget if he's like the good one or the bad one. There's two lawyers and there's one that's evil and one that's good. That guy does look like an improv guy though. I want to be at Hollywood Arts at Mr. Psychowitz's class. Oh, you know what I want to see? Never mind. They're high schoolers.

Good call, man. Good call. Nice. No, that was a good call. But they weren't. But you have to think about where we were when we saw this show. We were also children. They were older than us. Yeah, they were a little bit older. And they remain older than us.

It is crazy how much impact Dan Schneider's shows have for how evil he apparently is. It's not like they're immortal and they stayed that age. No, they didn't. Drake and Josh, iCarly, and this show have such staying power. And Sam and Cat. Yeah, Sam and Cat has great bits. What was the name of the girl that was angry all the time? Jade? Jade? I'd let her kill me.

I was going to say something about Jade as well. I would let her kill me. The thing about Victorious is Tori is the worst character. And it's not like it's Victoria Justice, but she's by far the most boring character. This show should have been called Andre and Friends. This show is so much better when it's just Andre doing stuff. I don't know. This might be wrong entirely, but I feel like I've just heard so much. And I could be getting this information from Twitter, but Victoria Justice being like,

a piece of shit. What? I haven't heard that at all. I don't know. Maybe there was like drama or something. And they love her. We have a mutual friend, Ted, and they love her. Really? Victoria is wonderful. Really? Okay, well that's good. I think maybe it was like some sort of Ariana Grande stand created narrative or something like that. It's crazy how social media can influence you like that. It is true. I've been influenced. I remember when I was watching Tom and Jerry as a kid, I would love

Jerry. But then you grow up and then you realize, oh, Tom is the one who... He's abused. He's the working man in the house. Tom is the blue collar man and he deserves some more respect than he's given. And he is Sisyphus. He is Sisyphus. He truly is. He...

And his punishment whenever he falls back down the hill is to be beaten senseless by his owners. I mean, he is in an impossible situation. And you start to sympathize with that. Yeah. And you start to really like Tom as you mature. And I think the same thing happens with most Dan Schneider shows. The person you root for, a.k.a. Tori as a kid...

You kind of realize, oh, she was kind of a shit person in the show. Yeah. Carly was kind of like not really likable either. All right, Chucklers, this episode of Chuckle Sandwich is brought to you by Acorns. Listen, Chucklers, I'm a textbook procrastinator. There's no limit to what I can put off. Work, errands, chores, the bigger the task, the longer it sits on the back burner.

And for me, that means delaying something pretty crucial, investing. Well, thanks to Acorns, those days are over. Now investing is simple enough to tackle right away. Acorns makes it easy to start automatically saving and investing for you, your kids, and your retirement. You don't need a lot of money or expertise to invest with Acorns. In fact, you can get started with just your spare change. Acorns recommends an expert-built portfolio that fits you and your money goals. Then automatically invest that money for you. And now Acorns is putting their money into your future. Open an Acorns app.

or download the Acorns app to start saving and investing for your future today. Paid non-client endorsement.

Compensation provides incentive to positively promote Acorns. Investing involves risk. Acorns Advisors, LLC, and SEC-registered investment advisor. View important disclosures at acorns.com slash chuckle. Chucklers, at this time of year, maybe you're looking back on all the amazing memories you have from 2024, especially if you're in love.

Maybe you're already looking ahead to your plans in 2025. And maybe, just maybe, those plans involve getting engaged to the one that you're in love with. For anyone about to take that momentous step, I recommend sourcing their engagement ring from BlueNile.com. Blue Nile is the original online jeweler since 1999. On BlueNile.com, you can create a bigger, more brilliant piece than you can imagine at a price that you won't find anywhere else.

That's because Blue Nile offers a diamond price guarantee, which means that in most cases they can meet or beat a competitor's price on a comparable diamond, and you can feel great about your purchase. They're committed to ensuring that the highest ethical standards are observed when sourcing diamonds and jewelry, so you can feel great about that too, Chucklers. Blue Nile also offers a 100% satisfaction guarantee with guaranteed free shipping and returns, then guaranteed service and repairs for life. And don't worry, every Blue Nile order is insured and arrives in packaging that won't give away what's inside.

In most cases, it can be even delivered overnight. Just in case you want to make one more unforgettable memory in 2024. Right now, go to BlueNile.com and use code CHUCKLE for $50 off of your purchase of $500 or more. That's $50 off with code CHUCKLE at BlueNile.com. BlueNile.com. And you know what? I really started... Oh, you need some of this? No, hand it to me. What is this? It's Raid. Sorry, there's just some buggies.

I've really started relating to Trina really you know yeah, yeah, Victoria's Andre and friends Mm-hmm is there a character you relate to most on Victoria's yeah um Rex Rex a little bit yeah Rex I mean honestly like he's funny. He's I feel like he's his own guy and not because of his stature But yeah, it's like who he is. I don't know can you stop fucking spring raid? It's podcast

I think I got it. It actually smells quite pleasant. I think I got it. See? It was there. And now there's just foam. Can we get new cups and I can pour a new drink? Yeah. I think it should be fine. Not bad for a human. Listen, it'd be really bad if I got cancer after this one, though. Yeah, it would be. So, Connor. What? Are you laughing about... Go! Go, dude! You're a funny guy. He's laughing. Are you laughing about cancer? Cancer is the last thing I would laugh about.

My biggest inspiration in my life died of cancer when I was 12. I thought you were going to say your biggest inspiration in life is cancer. And I was like, no. Connor, you're sort of on a, how do you call it? You're on like a media tour right now, aren't you? Yeah, last week I had my Fortnite Friday with former Congressman George Santos. That's nice. Yeah. How did that, I mean, like, okay, well. I'll tell you how it went. It was serious discussion about like AR-15s and shit.

Interrupted by, oh, the storm's coming. I got to go. It's just Fortnite Friday, dude. But you've been kind of stepping up your Fortnite Friday game. I mean, this has always been, Fortnite Friday has always been a consistent thing for you. It's been a thing I've talked about, yeah. This past year is when I really started it. This past year is when you really started it? Yeah, I mean, I joked about it. You've had it for years. I joked about it for years. I never did it.

Oh. I'd be like, oh, Fortnite Friday would be a bit. And I was like, oh, maybe I'll do it. Wait, so you were doing it for the first time just this year? I'm not good at my job. Like, I just say things and, like, I don't actually, like, do it. He knows. I don't even, like, do things. Like, I just kind of say it or, like, I'll just – because I just stream. Like, I just play video games and I try to make myself laugh. And a lot of times I'm just tired and lazy. But, like, lately, past two months, I've not been as tired and lazy. I haven't been as tired and lazy either. I know.

Some people say that it's the October. Really? Some people say that it's the fall because it's like the second win that you get after New Year's where you're like, oh shit, there's three months left. No, that's not for me. You know what it is? It's I turned 25 and I had a quarter life crisis. Oh yeah. That's what it is. A third maybe. Well, oh. Half.

Well, I think we're going to live longer as long as the world doesn't explode. You think we're getting to 100? I mean, if the world doesn't explode, we are going to live longer. Yeah. Really? Because we eat healthier. Something's going to come. Oh, I don't know. I don't feel that way. I don't either.

I'm not eating healthier, dude. I'm a little bit. They're going to give us like a shot or something. And we like, Oh, a shot. Yeah. A vaccine. Yeah. Something they're testing on mice right now. We're going to get one more 50 and we're gonna be 25 again. Yeah. That'd be nice. Something like that. Yeah. It's going to be good. It's going to be good. No, it's much more likely the world explodes and within the next, maybe five to six years, like the planet explodes from the core out. Maybe like society or like structures of government, our economy. Yeah. Um, but back to the fortnight Friday real quick. Um,

So you started actually going at it this year, and the first person that I started taking notice of, like, oh, Connor's changing the angle here a little bit, was when you had the Tiger King on. Yep. And he wasn't even playing Fortnite with you. He called in from prison. God!

Yes. Yes. So the way that happened is he was active on social media, which I thought was interesting considering he's in prison. Yeah. I don't really know what they get in prison, like how much people have. Yeah. I don't know if it's totally him or not. I mean, when I messaged, he would respond as him. So I don't... But I know like his boyfriend outside of jail is helping him run the account or something. But like when I messaged, I was like... I sent the whole pitch to Fortnite Friday. I was like, you can come on the show, talk about whatever you want. I don't care. And so his response was... I have a screenshot of it somewhere, but he just goes...

I don't know shit about that game. Do you know anything about crypto? And I was like, I go, Joe, if you want to sell a crypto thing, like you can talk about whatever you want on here. I do not care. Like just come on the show. Yeah.

And so he planned on it. He gets one call a week, and so he gets his money. That was his call? You used his whole week? I used his call, yeah. You used his whole week? I found this out after the fact. And it cost money to call, too, so he had to pay money. How much did it cost? I don't know. I mean, Northern Lion thought it might cost like $250, but it might just be Canadian currency. Is he in jail in Canada?

Canada? No, but there's a Northern Lion clip where he said that, so that was my only context. Oh, okay. So, how long is he in jail for? So apparently until like 2032 or something like that. That's quite a while. But he insists that he's getting out by Christmas. That's what he was saying in the interviews. What did he even do? Wrong. So he ordered a hitman on that one Florida Tiger lady.

But he says he didn't do that. Oh, well, if he didn't do it. That's what he said. So he's going to get mad at me if I misrepresent his argument here. So you guys should do your own research on this. What is the animal abuse? OK, so Joe is serving a 21 year prison sentence for animal abuse and two attempted murder for higher conviction. So he tried it twice. Google. Can we talk about Google now? Like it is actively a worse service than it's ever been solely because of AI. Because this is wrong. Like he's not. He's moved prison since then.

Really? Yeah, like Google has actually become like a worse way to like search for things. Yeah, I don't think I've actually searched anything on Google without putting Reddit at the end in the past. Dude, literally the same. Yeah, now Reddit is the savior. Like it's crazy though. Like was Google not always AI? What makes it AI now and why is it a worse service? Like it's crazy.

So his original sentence was 22 years, but he got a one-year reduction. Nice. Oh, so good for him. Yeah. So, I mean, at that rate, he's out by Christmas. Maybe so. Wow. So how did that one go? Because I didn't actually watch too many clips of it. I thought one clip... The one where he leaves him? I...

I'm ashamed to say that I've consumed most of these fortnight Fridays through, through Twitter, through the Twitter clips that have come out from it. Yeah, of course. But I know that a lot of people have in general, it's a, it's an event and people sit down and honestly, I feel like the next fortnight Friday, I'll probably get a little wash party together. Oh, thank you. There were people that were doing that. It meant a lot. It was cool. But, um, yeah, well, I saw a tweet from Aiden where, uh,

Aiden Calvin. Yep. Of the yard. The yard guys were all watching it. Yeah. I got a call from like a bunch of friends after Maya called. Cutie and Lud watched it together. It meant a lot. I mean like it's cool to like see like all like have like a huge reaction online from like people. Sure. But like to me it's. I mean this is like your thing. Yeah. It's nice. Like this is something completely. Yeah. And like I have friends all over like the space and they know they like me and they care about what I do and stuff. So like to have like a project that like I'm like actually like really happy about it. It's cool to like see my friends. Yeah. You should be proud. Thanks. And I'm proud of you. Thanks.

Who's next? I don't know, but I want to try to get somebody that's not a political figure so the show doesn't keep getting a political connotation, but it's kind of just that season, so I don't know. How did the Joe one go? Yes, the Joe one went great. It was exactly how I planned it in

and within 30 minutes I tried to like keep amping him up and revving him up and stuff throughout and then once he gave me the notification that he was like only had three minutes left that was when I really started pressing him and I was like how about the tigers or whatever and like kind of like poked him a little bit on some stuff like you kind of mistreated the tigers even if I don't know if he really did but he was like

seemed like he did and so he got mad and he hung up like right at the end at like 28 minutes rather than like 30 but uh yeah it was perfect I loved it yeah I was like I saw that clip of you talking about the tiger thing and I was like I was like I wonder what at what point he's doing this because because that seems like it's like a delicate thing where he could just be like I can wait a week until I call someone else yep

And just hang up. Because he couldn't play Fortnite because he's in jail. I made a Fortnite account called Santa Rosa Police Department, which is the jail that he's at. And I just had a chatter play on the account for me the whole time.

So like if you'd like tuned in, you would see it and you're like, what the hell is he playing the game? Yeah. But it was a good bit. Funny enough, that person that played on it is a guy that like just replies like every single one of my tweets now. And is like, put me on Fortnite Friday. They're just like some kid. Yeah. And I like, I got annoyed by them. So I was like, all right, dude, like here you go. Like here's your opportunity to be on the show. Like I'm gonna have you do this. And then like, awesome. Perfect.

They finished and I was like, hey, thanks for doing that. And they're like, okay, thanks. Yeah, I'm not going to stop, by the way. Not that I really needed to. He's like, now I've gotten a taste. I'm never going to go away. So now that guy's not gone. And I don't want to block them because attention is kind of my job. Yeah, it's all of our jobs. What happened with George Santos? Was he playing? Yeah, he was actually playing on the Switch. Yeah, no, that was real game. Disgraced Congressman George Santos. Yeah.

That's funny. I don't even... I mean, what do I even say about that? I mean, I just asked him and he did it. Well, so what happened is... No, he did a whole poll. So before this, like, I was tweeting at him. I was like, George, come on the show. And he noticed, like, the attention it was getting. And so I messaged him and gave him, like, the pitch, what it was. And he goes...

He's like, oh, this is the George Santos team. Because I messaged him as the Conner Eats Pants team. Not true. It was just me. Because I don't have an agent or anything right now because I suck at my job. But he goes, this is the George Santos team. And they're like, duh. Oh, it's like, yeah. He's like trying to meet you at your level. I knew full well we were both bullshitting each other. So he goes like, the appearance fee is $6,000. What? No, really? And I was like, oh, I can maybe do like,

Maybe. Like, I don't know. Like, I don't want to like. You, you, you, your, your counter offer was $180. $180. $450 is not really that big yet. What brought you to the number 180 as well?

as opposed to like bank account, my bank account. And so I did that and he goes, no, we can't do that. So I was like, yeah, well I can't, I can't pay that much because like in my, I just made a shit. It was like in my Twitch contract, I can't pay political figures to be on my stream. So you lied. I lied. I just lied. And so, but then he was like, that's fair enough. Uh,

you know, let's do it anyway. But then I stopped, he didn't reply. Oh, he ghosted you after that. I stopped replying too. Well, I would apply to his tweets still occasionally and still get big numbers. Okay. And my hope was, you know, he loves, he wants attention. That seems to be what he's after. Right. And so I was like, maybe this will work. And sure enough, like, um, the day I got back from TwitchCon, I get a message that's like, I spoke to my team and, uh,

I thought about it and I'll come on your show if you appear on my podcast I'm watching oh okay I guess I'll be on his podcast every launches that coming up okay do you think you're still coming on yeah no he's still super friendly to me I mean I he's sending super nice message after and everything like he was very friendly tweeted publicly he was like I love the thing with Connor yeah oh I mean it's great to his credit like he seems to be a

as open book as he tries to be. I don't know whether he's still lying about a ton of this stuff, probably, but it's... I don't know. It's one of those things where politicians are such a category. I don't even... This guy's a whole different ballpark of guy. He's not only a politician, but he just got in there by just making things up along the way the whole way. Just saying things. And that's how we got kicked out because everyone was like, you made all this up.

Well, he got kicked out because he misused campaign finances to go on big expensive trips and buy maybe Nintendo Switches. We misuse Chuckle Sandwich finances all the time. All the time. What do you think you're drinking? This golden nectar here is...

That's a write-off. That's a write-off. That's a Chuckle Sandwich fund. Fortnite Friday is not like... You're not trying to burn bridges with all the guests. No, so that's another thing. That was something I was wondering about, too. It's like, how do you... To be fair, before Tiger King and Joe Exotic, I had a little pump on. A little pump. That was a great episode. We were amicable, even if we have political differences. Sure. It was great. Before that, we had...

McKenna Grace, fan of mine and fan of this show as well. McKenna Grace, friend of the show. Yep, friend of the show. McKenna Grace, she was great. And then before that, I had Elmo from Elmo's World. Yeah. Yep. Wait, really? That was Elmo. Yep, it was Elmo. I tuned in for the Elmo one. Elmo was there. It was great. Really? Great guy. No, great guy. You had Elmo? Elmo. The red guy? I feel like I would have heard about this. Tucker, the three and a half year old little boy? Pull up Elmo. The little red boy?

Yeah, that little red boy. Yeah, he was on it. Show me that little red boy. Look up Connor Eats Pants, 4 Night Friday. No way. Go midway or something. I mean, look, he's on his account, too. Look at what it says. Wait, can you pull up his... Let me hear some sound here. His account name is Elmo Sesame Street. It's crazy how far technology has come. Yeah, great. What was COVID like for you, Elmo? What was that situation like?

Let me tell you, it was really hard for everybody on the set. You know, like Sesame Street, the show that I'm on. Yeah.

It's him. There was a lot of people who didn't want to mask up, and he included, but, you know, we just have to continue doing it. You gave a large explanation for every other person you've had on the show, and then when I asked about Elmo. I reached out to the Sesame Street team. Elmo's a fan. Everybody's a fan. What more do you need, then? Here's the thing. I'm a blue-collar streamer, Ted. Like, I might be streaming Deadlock to 430 people on a Tuesday night. What makes you a blue-collar streamer? Because I'll stream Deadlock to 430 people on a Tuesday night. Okay. But, um...

People still tune in and they sub. It's a surprise. So where do you think that... When do you think that a Twitch streamer crosses from a blue-collar streamer to a white-collar streamer? What's that number look like to you? When they take their job too seriously, I think. So it's not a quantifiable number? Yeah, I feel like if I...

thought too much about this. Not only would I not be like as excited to do it, but I the authenticity goes away. When you share your food, you share your heart. So what's on your table this holiday season? Save on your festive feast at Fry's with delicious deals on all the holiday classics or wow the crowd with something new like a quinoa stuffed butternut squash. It's sure to add a pop of color to your spread.

How about a sweet potato casserole with a crunchy oat streusel topping made with care for the sweet tooth and the savory tooth? With fries, fill your table with love and watch as your guests' hearts get as full as their bellies. Fries, fresh for everyone. Who is the biggest blue-collar streamer, you think? Ooh, that's a good question.

It's got to be a kick streamer for sure. It's got to be a kick streamer. Maybe it's Jack Doherty. Might be Jack Doherty. Yeah. I mean, there's nothing more blue collar than texting while driving and crashing your car. A lot of poor people do that. Yeah. That clip is so awesome. Like the fact that like when he like,

he's still streaming after like he crashes he pans over his friend that's like bleeding pans back to him and then he's like the guy's trying to pull him out of the car and as the guy's pulling him out he goes hold this hold this and he's like making sure the guy's saving his life is holding the camera it's just like dystopian like there's nothing behind his eyes it's crazy I'm so thankful that I remember seeing videos from that guy like I saw a video of like his like because he just uses his bodyguards to like

Just go and fuck with people. Like, I don't usually express opinions on other content creators, but that Jack Doherty guy is like, I mean. No, I kind of respect that, though. Like the fact that he's so universally hated by everybody, even people that I hate. He's being a dope. I know, but there's such a dope. But as like a as an idea, as a concept, he's like, oh, like, well, how old is he?

How old is he? I don't know. He's 20. He's 20? 20? I think so. Wow. He watched SMP Live 100%. Totally watched SMP Live. 100%. Yeah, he's 20 years old. I mean, this is a separation between someone like us where it's like he doesn't remember a pre-content creator internet. I don't think he has a memory of that. Whereas like...

You know, I was fucking seven when YouTube was invented. No, no, no. I was seven when YouTube was invented because I started when I was seven. Sorry, I was nine. I was eight. Math is good. I was, wait, 2005. So, yeah, I was seven. Okay, well, no one did. I started YouTube. It was released in February of 2005. I started using YouTube January 2007, so I was seven, eight.

You were like the same, right? What are you getting pissed for? I'm just- this is a stupid thing to get hung up over. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, you're on my side. Yeah. We're the same age. I am on your side. Thank you. Okay, well- Fuck you, Ted. This is just- wow. Genre pranks. Hey, so happy to have you here, Conor. Genre pranks. Um-

No, so he is 20, so that means that he was born in 2004. It's crazy there's only three paragraphs of controversy. Come on, they could be better than this. Yeah, there was a current Halloween party when he was involved with a verbal argument with other guests. A bar guard attacked one of them on February 21st, 2024. Doherty was sued for assault and battery by Chase Gridella for the incident. Yeah, I mean, I've seen that video. It was like, it was fucking insane.

And then he has bad Octobers. Yeah, it's just not his month. Angel numbers. Yeah. He's had a bad October two years in a row. And I'm going to have a bad October next year. Something with the moon or something like that. The moon and the sun. Oh, he grew up on Long Island.

Well, that explains a lot far is that it was the high school scroll down, you know that high school is the high school North North Shore High School North Shore. Oh, no, no not not familiar But I mean that this is like someone who has also that profile picture. Holy shit Click home again. I crashed my Lamborghini. It's a six month old video. He keeps crashing these things Yeah, it seems like he's going out of his way to do it. He probably did don't say that. Oh

Why not? Okay, I don't think he crashed that one. Also, someone destroyed my Lamborghini a month ago, and then 22 hours ago, I crashed my McLaren. These don't even get good views. How is he making money? That's my question as well. But what I really want to focus on is his profile picture. That is crazy. That is insane. He's got the lettuce, man. Are you jealous? This, I mean, this has got to be...

You know what he visually looks like to me? He looks like the richest lacrosse kid that you ever knew at your high school. Yeah. You know? He looks like he wears his fucking...

basketball sneakers that he's not trying to crease. He has a little hop in his step. I was literally going to say that. That's crazy. I'm being honest with you. That is absolutely what I was thinking just now. There's always one kid with the hop. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah, and then like they got a little bit of sway with the arms too. Daddy's Maserati. Yeah, or like his dad's F-150 and plays music really loud. Maybe that was more of the southern thing where they really like trucks. Yeah, no, he definitely was on Musical.ly. Oh my God, look at how young he is there on the Pinterest page. So when you're having Jack on the show,

I'm actually down. I think that'd be a funny guess, but I think he's banned from everything, so I can't do that. You think he's banned from everything? Oh, it would get you in trouble. I would assume he's banned on Twitch. Maybe he just started on Kick. He's gotta be, because he was on Kick. He got banned from Kick. Well, we assume to be on Kick, you have to be banned on Twitch, but that's not actually true now. Sometimes these guys are just there because they get more of a better split for their bullshit. Right. You have to keep that in mind. He gets $4.50 a sub. That's actually a good split. Who is Neon?

Oh, he's like this guy. I don't know who Neon is. I've seen him, but I feel like he's one of those streamers that he kind of just walks around and talks to people. No, but he's actively trying to annoy and harass people. He was in Saudi Arabia or Dubai, I think the same place, but he got in trouble there for filming somewhere, and he was detained for two or three days. Rock on. And so I tweeted at the Saudi Arabia embassy.

And I was like, hey, by the way, he's also gay. Because I was like, we can fix this now. And then I was like, well, maybe don't do that. So I deleted it pretty quickly. Wait, so why wouldn't they? They would be like, this might be a hate crime. Let's release him. Yeah, well, I just didn't want him to come back.

Well, they wouldn't have released him, Ted. Why? Because it's the Middle East. Yeah, it's the Middle East, Ted. What about the Middle East? They don't do that gay thing there. They don't like that. There's none of them. Well, my idea was it brings light to an issue there because Saudi Arabia has a problem with that. But then I was like, no, this actually is not a good joke to make. It's really not mine to make. That's in poor taste. Yeah. Definitely in poor taste. I've learned. I've gotten better over the years. Yeah, we've really cleaned ourselves up. We have. We have. We have.

I think it just like... Was I ever dirty? I don't know if you ever fucked up. I got fancy. You got fancy? I got fancy. I don't even know what that means. Not on the last episode. I don't even know what that means. I literally was fancy on the fly, dude. That was impressive. If anything, that's more impressive than what you guys showed up with. No. I got fancy within... I looked good. I got fancy within 30 seconds of me being expected to be fancy. So I can decide if you were fancy. Do we need to recall how many you got wrong? Oh, awesome.

It's less like syrup the more you drink it. It's great. It's nectar. It becomes just like liquor. It's real good. So, okay. Connor, who is your dream guest on Fortnite Friday then? There's like a bunch. Like, it's such a tough question to answer because like,

The funniest people are, unfortunately, these political figures. It is definitely, the dichotomy of it is definitely. And I think when people tell me Dream Guest, I think on a realistic level, I try not to think on things that could never happen until it becomes real. Donald J. Trump. Yeah, well, recently, Kamala Harris, her Twitch account has been using my emotes.

What? Yeah, they were gifted. I don't know if they were gifted, but you can't gift her subs anymore. So I don't totally know if she's redeeming channel points, what it is, the social media manager. But they're using my emotes in her chat. So I was like, I don't know who to contact. But I was like, dude, if you want me to have her on Fortnite Friday, I'll shill. I don't even care. I feel like when we're in the last month before the election. That would be ridiculous. If anything, when this episode comes out, the election is over. Yeah. So currently. I mean, there's an argument to be made. That's crazy. We actually don't know.

who won the election currently. That is scary. This may never release. We know. Oh, yeah. We know. They tried to take it, yeah. You want to lock in a prediction right now?

I don't think we're going to have an answer. I don't think we are. Wait, what? That's the craziest response you could give me. What's going to happen is they're going to delay the certification. We're going to be like, we don't know? They're going to delay the certification of the vote in plenty of the swing states to where you can't actually make a call. And then what? We stop? I don't know. It's just going to get weird. It's going to get weird. Okay.

Okay. I think that Kamala Harris will win the popular vote overall. The question is whether or not Trump wins enough of the swing states to where he wins the actual election. Sure, yeah. It's crazy how close it's been for the last most of our adult, all of our adult life. Because it, I don't know, did it used to be that way?

I think Obama won by a pretty wide margin. Oh, yeah. Well, in 2008, he fucking killed it because he was, like, the first guy that was, like, using the internet. Like, he was the first guy that, like, utilized, like, online... He would follow back on X. Yeah, like, online sort of promotion and stuff and, like...

He had that whole hope sign and stuff. Dude, he had good branding. He killed it online. He was the first social media personality. He really killed it. Yeah. Damn. Did a lot of that. It's just so wild. Not to get political, but I feel like everybody that's at least somewhat our age and informed to an extent is just so burnt out in all this. And I get it. Oh, yeah. It's just so wild. It's just the world is so crazy. He literally like...

The stories behind January 6th is just so funny. It's just so awesome. That period was so interesting too. I found out on Twitter about January 6th while I was in line for...

masked up for a covid test yeah that was the time like that was if that was like the most that's probably the most of the times moment i probably could have it while it happened now i think about yeah we were like right in the throes of it i think i i must have been that was probably my second month before i moved to austin yeah you guys hadn't moved to austin yet no the month after february oh yeah interesting

Damn. That was a fun time. It is really weird how far, how many years it's been. I measure my life mostly in years since I got out of college. And now I can't do that anymore because it's been four years. So I'm like, I graduated from the college of being out of college. That's kind of how I look at it.

Like I was just a senior and I just graduated. Now you're on that. Now you're on that because you just graduated. Yeah, but we're on the same, you know, it was different. Well, it's different because you're kind of in a similar position because you're just starting your content creative journey. If it becomes a journey. I'm still at the point where I don't know if it will.

I don't have any clue. You're going to squeeze every drop out of it. It's going on for at least a couple years, even if you start falling off now. I feel like every person, when they enter the online space, they have a kinetic potential. That makes no sense. Those are opposite forms of energy. In fact, they're direct opposites. They have potential energy.

Okay, and every object has potential energy. Well, okay guys, listen, you're butchering this. No, I was actually, they start like this.

And then, you know, you're not even going to drop it. You're not even going to drop it. It's just how you use it. I mean, listen, I can't. It is how you use it. Here's what I'll say. Here's what I'll say. I can't blossom unless you guys give me the opportunity to. And don't get all potential kinetic. I mean, what's the difference here? Nobody knows. It was a stupid thing you said. Nobody knows. I've never said something stupid in my life. Connor, I think back to those early days of Austin. And the thing that strikes me the most about that time is,

is like holy shit we drank a lot yeah did you guys really yeah yeah well i mean you yeah so you drank i drank a lot you drank a lot i mean i drank a lot of weight i drank a good bit but like you drank a lot i was yeah i was getting plastered off you were like unironically an alcoholic for like mid 2020 until like yeah and it's funny because like that was supposed to be the move to austin was like me turning things around yeah okay nothing we had to adjust for a bit yeah

Nothing turned around. You just stepped on the accelerator. Yeah, the best decision I made wasn't moving to Texas. It was probably getting Jambo. Yeah. The sweet little guy. The fucking best. Dude, I miss him and Bumper hanging out. Poor guy. I wish Bumper had a friend, man. You can get him a friend. I know. Well, I say that, but now he's too scared, bro. He's too scared? Yeah, maybe. Why is he scared? What are you doing to him? I need to rescue another. I can't just buy a designer cat like Pokey. Oh, no, yeah. Pokey has these bougie cats. Pokey? Yeah.

What does she have? She has... Bow and... No, no. What flavor of cats are they? White, fluffy, and orange-white. White, fluffy, and orange-white. Yeah, they're definitely designer. You can tell. You can tell that's an expensive cat. That is a beautiful cat. And you know what? I bet it's rude and spoiled as fuck, and it doesn't give anyone the time of day. It is kind of like the cat from...

What is it? The Aristocats? It's like the girl one that was really cool or really rich. This cat is so bougie that I called her. I was like, hey, I need an automatic litter box for Bumper. And she was like, oh, this one's great. And it was so fancy that Bumper didn't get it.

and he wouldn't use it. - Bumper didn't like understand. - It was like this special litter and like he wouldn't do it and so I had to just throw it out. - Really? - Yeah. - Damn. - So I had to go back to this one. - There's some crazy types of cats that I didn't know existed that I only know exist because of like Reddit and TikTok now. - Those ballsack cats. - Well, everybody knows about the ballsack cats. Those are just like the Egyptian cats. You know? Those are the ones that remind me of Egypt.

Yeah, the naked cats. They remind me of Egypt. No, I see, like a lynx. The lynx. Or the sphinx. Correct. That one that looks like a cheetah is pretty cool. I bet it's expensive. Oh, yeah. The leopard cats or whatever.

Wow. Yeah, those ones look like aliens. I don't want to give that thing a time of day. I feel like if you gave that thing a full body, I mean, I guess they did that. There's something in us, though. I don't know whether aliens planted us here or what it is that made the Sphinx or whatever, but I look at that and I'm like, that could be a god figure. Well, you know that there's a hole in the Sphinx. Top of his head. Yeah. There's an iron trap door. I really hope if there's aliens, they do a face reveal. Well, they're keeping knowledge in there. Did you know that?

- Yeah, well, that's what I'm saying. The aliens need to do a face reveal scene. We're getting to this point where we're like, our world's gonna blow up. If they're here, say something, please. - Do you think that that's a guy or was that meant to be a cat? - Maybe both. - It was a cat. - Yeah. - Yeah, it fell off and then they carved it into something new. Definitely. - Was it a cat or was it an Anubis face, like one of those dogs? - I don't know.

It used to be like green. That's what's crazy. It used to be like green. What? Like Egypt, like Cairo, like all around there. It used to be like green. Oh, yeah. No, that, yeah, in terms of the post-Ice Age period. What happened? Global warming. So the Ice Age ended. Fossil fuels. But the area around Egypt and stuff used to be a lot more lush because- The Fertile Crescent. Yeah. Different place. This was before the weather machines. No, that's the Fertile Crescent. Oh, it's nearby. Egypt-

is definitely in the Fertile Crescent. No, it's not. It's crazy how interesting the world is in this regard where there's pyramids of similar design and shape structure in South America and Egypt. But then you listen to Joe Rogan and you get some guy that's like, yeah, and that was the aliens. It's like, okay, well, let's slow down a bit. Well, they were using some different form of energy. Let's

Let's not beat around that bush. You can't build something like that without some- - You've gone the rabbit hole of like the Nikola Tesla wireless energy. - Well, I'm just saying they were probably using some kind of vibrations to move those stones 'cause it would take just so long. - Vibrations? - It makes you wonder what kind of alternate energy they had to move those stones. - They humming at the stones? - There's millions of them, Ted, and there are 80 tons each. - There's some great Joe Rogan episodes I can link to. - I feel like I could have done that.

- No, you couldn't have. No, you couldn't have. - You're just saying that to be mean. - I don't think you could have done that either. - The only reason you're saying that is because you want to hurt my feelings. - No, Ted, I just don't think you could build a pyramid. - If I tried hard enough and I had enough motivation, I could have moved those stones, okay? - Okay, Ted. - I'd be using levers, I'd be using switches, I'd be using--

Mill stones, probably. Mill stones. You ever heard of them? I'm going to have a conversation with someone who gets it a little better. No, don't talk to him. Oh, I'm going to talk to him. Don't talk to him. I don't want to hear what he has to say. Okay, but if he does talk to him. Wait, wait, wait. Tell me how the pyramids were built. Aren't those stones 80 tons each? And don't you need some kind of alternate energy like vibration or harnessing the power of sound to move those? But answer in Mandarin Chinese. Nice going, dude.

电造方法至今仍然是个谜。 确实,那些石块非常重。

Now you're never gonna know the answer asshole. I use chat GPT for the first time last night. Did you yeah? It's amazing It's actually incredible like I was looking up for 10 15 to 15 minutes on how to like change alt tab To not show windows any previews anymore to just show the little icons like I did like in Windows 7 and it was like all these things like go to your root kernel like you do command changes and I was like

What if I just put this in the chat GPT and it gave me a step-by-step, like, what I do, like, literally, I just, one step at a time, and it just worked. I was like, that is insane. It really is the future of, like, search at the end of the day. Like, it will get to the point where what will come out is 98.9% accurate, maybe not that full 9.9, but... Well, I feel like there's, like, I don't even know how to consciously, or, like, to...

describe it with words but there is like a gap in AI that I haven't seen it cross at all and I don't even know but there's like a in the way I explain things to it and stuff and I that I wouldn't like a human that like yeah there is it's a it's a definitely a more egalitarian way of

explaining and speaking. I don't know. He just is on one of those word kicks again. Well, I mean, you have to be a little bit trepidatious with ChatGPT when you're plundering the riches of his Eversonian mind. That didn't make any sense, actually. You said egalitarian. Well, no, you have to be gregarious with ChatGPT. You have to be...

you know, very honest with it, very chatty with it and use all the words that you can in your vocabulary. I'm just hoping that like it ends up like the robots from like interstellar, like TARS. Yes. TARS was cool as hell. TARS is awesome. He's like chill, but they're also like subservient. They are. Yeah. He is subservient, which is where he should stay. Um, I will say, cause people are probably going to get mad hearing Ted Nivens and talk about AI being the artist he is. Um,

I don't think in any of the applications like the Sora or like, hey, I recreated Studio Ghibli in live action with this. I think that's absolute horseshit. I agree. In terms of like...

In terms of what I've been doing recently, which is using it for fun, talking to it in like a New York accent, like it's really good at that now. Yeah. It's really good at like if you're getting into a hobby and you want to learn a certain thing without having to go on a deep dive on a forum or something like that. I learned a lot of what I know about Sumo through just talking to the thing. Yeah. And it gives you some nice answers.

And when you're learning a language, because I'm a fucking weeb now, I talk to it in Japanese and it helps with that too. It could definitely be very helpful for like language, for conversational learning of language. Duolingo is now working on like a little animated VTuber thing that's AI that can talk back to you at your level of language. That would be amazing.

Yeah, because honestly, that would probably... Because I really want to learn Spanish. Why? I don't know. I took it in high school. Yeah.

I took Latin in high school and not Spanish, so I know, like, nothing useful. Big mistake. No, it was actually good because I met the best teacher I had. Because most of my teachers sucked. Hablar espanol, por favor. It's weird. Like, I wonder what's happening with AI because, like, there was all that stuff with, like, open AI earlier this year. So, like, what happens with, like, the highest people in business is usually, like, a year or at least six months ahead of, like, whatever's going on. Like, when the head guy left, it was a huge deal and everybody, like, protest left the company until they would bring him back. That's crazy.

Sam Altman, is that who we're talking about? Yeah, Sam Altman. And then they brought him back, and now six months later, everybody else that defended him is now leaving the company and selling their stock. Yeah. So it's like they thought initially, something happened where they were like, he has achieved something that is so profound that we need to protect him in this space. And then six months later, they're like, all right, he's actually in it. He got back and he thought he was Steve Jobs and he got evil. OpenAI has been kind of a train wreck if you're following the news about it. But I will say this, like,

I'm not using, I'm not talking to Claude. Yeah, true. Or like Meta AI or something. Grok. Dude, Grok can't talk to me in a fucking funny accent. What's funny about Grok though is he's made to be racist. Yeah, Grok, Grok is like. Elon literally put in a feature that's called fun mode where you can just like actively, like if you're like a loser online, you can like be terrible to it. Yeah, like tell me a joke about Kamala Harris and like it'll just like shit on Kamala Harris.

Elon is becoming it's so funny what's happened to Elon Musk he used to seem like

I remember back in the day, I was like, this guy's pretty cool. He's going to be taking us to Mars, and he's making rockets, and he's making electric cars. This guy's sick. There are still people who feel that way, but most of the time, I'll see Elon Musk doing his little jump like that, and I'm like, this guy is actually the biggest loser in the fucking world. Exactly, exactly. But it's interesting to me because this is like an older guy doing...

not our job, but something similar to us where we are in the public eye and we are expressing our thoughts and saying things online. It's like, the fact that the richest guy in the world can, in our eyes, become so much of a... He's not the richest anymore. He's just so obvious. We can psychoanalyze him and be right. We can easily understand what his deal is. And it's like, dude, it's interesting to me. The one thing I want to add is...

Tucker, look up Elon Musk, let that sink in. The day he bought Twitter and he walks in with that sink. To be fair, okay, he does look better in that photo, but everybody looks good holding a sink. Look how good he looks. I know, but everybody looks- He looks genuinely good here. He does. He does. But again, I think holding a sink in this way-

Are you sure? Yeah, because it's making all these arms like flex. It's got the forearms. Exactly. His like, because it's like this. Unless you're like really out of shape, holding a sink like that is never going to look bad. This is what his arms would look like because he's holding it up. So like his biceps are flexing and stuff. He's aged significantly since then. I think there's no denying that. Oh, he got it though. Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. I made a big meme about him. I wonder if he saw it. Oh, yeah, true. Yeah, that was when he was still cool. That was when he was cool. You know what I should start doing is tweeting that at him, is getting the Elon Musk video to him, and he'd be like, nice epic meme, dude.

I feel like that is somewhere in the... Oh, here we go. It's interesting how your voice has changed. See, like, this is all cool. I'm, like, admiring how cool this is, you know?

There's just so many wild things with this dude now, bro. Like, he's like super like into like breeding. Like he wants to like have like his mini-kid. Yeah, he's a breeder. Yeah. The sequel's amazing. You should watch that one. Why does this have 7 million views? That's more than I can imagine.

so is that just your c920 microphone yeah that was the funny mic yeah how did you always how were you able to switch to it so effectively

enough funding how how uh were you able to switch to it so effectively while streaming yeah it was a stream deck that i had two buttons right next to each other one that turned my actual mic on and off and one that toggled the funny mic on obs and so i would hit and discord no discord discord was always it was either one there was no way to toggle between them on input on discord

So I would usually only be in the funny mic on Discord or I'd have to switch it on the fly if I really wanted to. Oh, so I guess for SDMP it works a lot better. Wait, no, it doesn't. I haven't used the funny mic on SDMP. Well, no, I feel like I remember you using the funny mic on Discord in SMP Live. Well, yeah, then it was set to my input as the funny mic. But then that wasn't coming through stream. No, often it wasn't.

Interesting. Because I thought it was funnier if everyone else heard the funny mic because the funny mic's funny. Yeah, right. But while I was streaming, if I wanted to do like a half a second long funny mic thing where I'm just emphasizing one word with the funny mic, I'd say, I like cock.

And then I'd hit both with my two fingers, my two fingies, and then it'd toggle both of them at the same time. That was something we got at the time that I don't think many people did on those Minecraft servers, especially when they were smaller. It's like, I'm putting on the show for where the people are. I have my 40 people here, which was already a new record for me, but if you're going live, I may as well wait until...

and then like do my bits off my own stream. Of course. And so that I can set them up and do things or whatever. I didn't understand how to stream at the time. So I was doing, and I was still in college.

a junior in college so I was still doing like chill building streams with my camera on while my room yeah my no talking streams because my roommate would be asleep but I didn't want to stop streaming because I had that initial feeling of like oh this is doing well oh I gotta be streaming all the time

So that's what I did. At Gardens Apartments at Ithaca College. I would say the only really great streams in that era are Josh's solely because he would just get, I don't know, maybe it's just what I appreciate in a stream, but there's an artistry and Josh getting so mad at his chat, giving him money actively and him just getting mad about it. Go get shat. Stop! Stop doing that!

like stop giving it was the same vibes on sdmp too yeah josh was the only person i ever watched on that he's he has not changed one bit no no you know what's awesome is going on in his stream too i saw josh over the summer at a party and i'm like this is like late june and this is right after the joe biden debate and i was like he's dropping out kamala's going in and josh goes like nope not gonna happen it's never gonna happen i'm

I was like, I'm telling you, this is what's going to happen to you. He's like, they won't do it. They won't do it. Whenever I see something presidential or Disney related, I will send it to Josh. I will send him a photo of it. Like when I'm at, I think there was this one time we all went to Disney at one point and he showed us this one part on Main Street USA at Disney where there's a light bulb that is like half and half. It's like red and white. He gets the fun facts. Oh yeah. He knows everything about Disney. Oh wait.

Yeah, no, he pointed that out to me as well. I think we were there, it must have been when we were there at the same time or something. Yeah, we must have been. And so whenever I take,

when I'm ever at Disney with people I will show them that and I'll be like my friend Josh showed me he's actually a Disney expert when we went last time and Josh did this bit of like it is my birth I'm the birthday boy and like you guys think that was probably one of the funniest things that like it was ever just like between us I wasn't for content I've ever seen like the whole day he was like he was the birthday boy and he'd be pointing at things like can we go there like no Josh like we're getting food I think you might have been there but he was just like I think I remember what you're talking about yeah because it was like he'd like run

ahead you were there yeah he'd run ahead be like let's go and we're like josh we're getting ice cream no was that the day that the those women screamed at us yes that was at the top of their lungs were you not there that day oh maybe you weren't there that well explain this explain this to me so we were um getting ice cream at disney land we were at the um was it the pics near the pixar pier is where that is right yeah near the picture yeah yeah it's like where the food is there and so we're getting ice cream and like

these girls across the way just like scream at the top of their lungs, like scream and like point towards our group. Like recognizing you? Particularly Shlatt, which is especially someone to recognize, obviously, because he's the most public figure and also the stature and the unique look. Yeah, that's the one thing about being this tall is that people will see us. Yeah. You'll always get, if I'm in an area where there's a, because you can kind of tell when there's a high likelihood,

You can tell based on the ages of people and sort of how they're dressing, the likelihood of you getting recognized. You give it like a 40 to 70% chance. Yeah. And there's also like, this is a side thing, but there's a look of somebody that knows and then doesn't realize they're giving away that they know and they won't say anything. Oh, yeah. I like doing the pre-prediction. I'll like one time at a bar.

I was in where Tucker lives. I was at a bar with him and I told him, I was like, I came up to him. I was like, I'm getting recognized right now. And he was like, what?

What do you mean? And then like maybe like 20 seconds later they came up I think. Yeah, you got recognized all over town that weekend. That was weird too because that's like, I mean I guess it's a college town so. Yeah. But no, so these girls like recognized the group and like screamed. Like it was like people looked around like are you okay? It sounded like someone had started shooting or something. Yeah, like it sounded that bad. Oh, like blood curdled. Yeah, it was like weird and so we walked like away like to go sit down. I wasn't with you guys that day. Yeah. I'm deaf.

I just feel like it's unlikely that you guys would have been at Disney and I wasn't there. No. I think you were. Yeah, because we were staying together that weekend. What weekend was this? This was Chuckle Week last time, wasn't it? Yeah. No, it wasn't last time. No. This was at least two Chuckles ago. Maybe it was two. Yeah.

Maybe it was. Huh. Okay. Yeah. No, I was definitely there. Yeah. But it was a, yeah, they scream. And then we, uh, we walked away. We walked away and sat down. Yeah. We sat down, we got ice cream and then we were being filmed at the table for across. Cause they had sat down next to us after we sat down and they were filming and shit. And like, they, like when we get up to leave, like they get up and they're like, can we get a photo? And like, this was the only time I've ever said no. Yeah. Cause that's weird.

And it was awesome. I remember like you go, you go, no, you guys were like, you guys were acting and this girl like, like,

tries to like point over to like her that wasn't me no like honestly i respected that play i was like honestly okay that was a good yeah wait what did what did he say well she like pointed over to like somebody else like that was like her i was like what are you talking about yeah yeah i mean no good for telling off because there is a there is i think here's my theory about like sort of fan culture in these days and i was thinking about making a larger video about it but i haven't really decided on whether i would just like on the whole

area of it I find interesting in positive and negative ways I suppose but I think that we as a culture when it comes to like when

High tier level fan stuff started was like, you know, 50s or 60s, you know, Elvis, shit like that with rock and roll. And that was always a scenario where there was a there was a inherent separation between the artist and the fan where you could only really see them at shows or times that they were.

presented themselves to the world. But now with the internet and with the access, the level of access that people have to these people that they're fans of, I don't think that there was ever a point in which we as a culture needed to decide what are the levels of appropriate behavior for this circumstance. People stayed at that level of, oh my God, it's fucking Elvis. And then they never figured out that that's appropriate. Sure, at a concert, have a good time, great. But you can't be like that all the time. Like that's not...

a healthy way to act. Yeah, I mean, even just the position that we're in, I think it's so interesting because like, I talked about like the Elon thing earlier, like how quickly culture and stuff is shifting. Also, wait, let me just clarify. Not saying that we're like Elvis though. Yeah.

- Yeah, no, no, no. - Just also need to clarify that, but just at a base level of fan to creator, fan to artist kind of relationship. - What we do is Uncharted territory, and even just the way culture's shifting around celebrity figures or internet people, yeah, it's shifting so rapidly. - Yeah, you're so much closer. You can just tweet at a former disgraced congressman and then he'll show up on your stream. - Funny enough-- - It's getting bigger too. We were talking about this on another episode,

where like YouTube is becoming like an actual, like literal, I think more than 10% percentage, like ownership of the streaming space. Yeah, dude, it is. I mean, that was, that's the pitch I make to like sponsors or anybody is like,

is what anytime they're spending watching my stream or a streamer or YouTube is time they're not spending on Amazon Prime Video time they're not on Netflix time they're not on any of these things like and that's valuable to these companies yeah yeah but no I was saying that like front of the show McKenna Grace like even like seeing like her space and stuff like she's just like a young actor yeah what was her what was her show like it was awesome

She did great. But it was interesting because she had, like, other, like, young actors that were there as well. There was, like, the girl from, like, Doctor Strange and stuff. Like, other, like, young, like, people that are, like, actively growing as, like, actors and actresses. It is so weird how, like, they're all, like, 20 as well. And that, like, is so confusing to me because I'll be watching, like... And she's a... Does she listen to the podcast? I think so, yeah. That's funny. So she's probably, like... She's going to... That's so funny. Oh, my God. I've met her once. I met her one time, but...

when that connection was made of like, oh, I know this person is now when I'm watching a show or something, she's in a lot of, of, of movies. And there's definitely more that like haven't like reached out and said, I was watching this one show called, um, I just like totally binged through it. I had like a moment where I'm just rotting.

rotting watching it um designated survivor yeah she was on that one yeah she was she was like the daughter of like the guy who ended up being the president yeah because the all the fucking but no i mean the point i was getting at with it is that like they like as actors and actresses like in the past like it's just like you go to your audition you make the pitch and you see what you get they're like their name and what they do and their platform is tied their socials the same way as us now like when they have to go to auditions and things like they present their instagram oh is this something that she was telling you about

Well, yeah, I mean, reading between the lines as well, but they were also telling me about it. Like, I mean, it's like, obviously it's stuff agents are looking at. That's interesting. I never thought about that. Isn't it crazy? How's your social falling? Yeah, isn't that interesting? Whoa. It's like, that is certainly, like, these agents are looking at that. It's a factor in everything. Like, it's wild. And for every person like McKenna Grace who is open about her loving the Dream SMP. Yeah. Shut up. Well, more so us. Friend of the show. I saw the little man by the flag. Don't tarnish her. Friend of the show.

There's 10 others who were secret SMP. Who will never fess up to. I was really hopeful that Baron Trump was one of them. I was really hopeful. I think he's taking, he's gone full. I saw a thing about today about how he said some sort of egotistical. Yeah, he did. But he also is the one that organized Aiden Ross with Trump. So he's that kind of viewer. Hmm.

But if Trump was a child, he would be that type of viewer too. We should have known better, but there's always the hope that you become the opposite. It's because Aaron Baron has a... A little bit more. No, I'm alright.

He's got kind of like an innocent looking face. Yeah. But if you really think about it, that same innocent face will morph over the next 80 years into looking what Trump looks like exactly now. So it's going to become more of like a... There's that clip of him like... Tucker, try to find the clip of him like...

Milani, it's like the inauguration or something. He's like trying to go for a high five. And he like gets pissed at her. How tall is he? Oh, he's a mon- he's like 6'7". He's 6'8"? Yeah, he's a monster. Whenever someone's taller than me- 6'9". He's 6'9"?

- Get him up on a podium, dude. - Angel numbers. - I loved those photos of Barack Obama with the other politicians and shit, 'cause that motherfucker was tall too. - Yep. - And Trump was tall too. You need a tall, come on. - I know, six, nine though? - Let's fast track this kid. - He's three inches under seven feet tall. - Yeah, here, here, here. There it is. He snaps at her and almost hits his mom. Yeah.

This is at the inauguration, too. It's like, bro, at the one time. How old was he in this? In this? Oh, man, he had to be... Well, he's 18 right now. 14. Oh, okay. That's... No. 12, 13? He's in college now. He just got to NYU. Give him some slack, but still. So he's got to be 14. Yeah, I mean... 14 or 13. That was two inaugurations. But putting your father that was the president on the Aiden Ross stream is arguably worse. Oh, you're right. Wait. So that way he was 10. 12, 13. No, he was 10.

11. Was this at Trump's inauguration or Biden's? It had to be Trump's because they weren't at it. They wouldn't go to Biden's. Yeah. No, that was when he was 10 or 11. Yeah, that's 10 or 11-year-old behavior. He's just probably my height then. I won't give a shit for this. It's more so the Aiden Ross connection. Dude, 6'9 is a remarkable height. Okay, you guys have seen how tall I am. That means that Barron Trump is five inches taller than me. He needs to be on the court, dude.

I don't know why he's doing this. Can you imagine someone five inches taller than me? Yeah, that's like me to you. He does need to be on the court. Yeah. Are you really that short of me? Yeah, like get him out there, man. Why is he trying? So small. I feel like...

I feel like it'd be kind of like the ultimate slam dunk for him. No pun intended. Of like getting obscenely famous not through his dad's legacy. Like put him on the fucking court. Get him on the pole. I'm telling you now. I'm telling you right now. Turn him into a magic mic stripper. This is my call. He is going to be awesome in the next couple of years. Like as a figure. I feel like you say that, but that really is just could mean anything.

That could just be him saying the most vehemently racist crap online, and you'd be like, this is awesome. That's the true definition of awesome. It can be electric. Absolutely electric. Baron, start dribbling. Here's what I'll say, though. When you say awesome, I know that you're not saying awesome. You mean funny.

Yes, but that's the same thing to me. You're saying he's going to be hilarious when he gets older. That's the same thing to me, though. That could mean good or bad. I'm just clarifying for people what Connor means when he says awesome. He means that he's going to be hilarious. But I also mean that in both ways. He could turn full heel and be sick and hang out with us, or he could just keep going this direction and be awesome that way.

Okay, I'll take it. But he's going to be something these next couple of years. It's just funny because we haven't named or even acknowledged the dogs. You told me not to. I know I did. It was just now you're holding it like baby Jesus. Oh.

This dog loves me, man. This conversation all flowed naturally from us talking about Austin. I was thinking about it. That was such a fun time that we lived there because it was pretty much like our college years is how I look at it. Is that how you... Yeah. That's how I feel about it. Yeah, we moved out. We met new people. I mean, you guys were probably going to a lot of Austin parties. Yeah, we went to a lot of parties. I mean, he didn't as much, but I did. And it was like...

I don't know. Like, I've made friends that I would be, I'm hopeful I could be friends for life and stuff. They keep meeting in college. Friends for life. And, like, learned a lot about myself and the world, I feel. Like, that's how I look at it, like, college. Got a lot of experience. So interesting. Yeah, you guys had a totally different sort of first move out experience than I did. Lived in so many places, too. Yeah. I moved, like, six times in a year. In Austin? Oh, yeah, you did. I moved, like, three. I couldn't do that much, but, yeah. I can't imagine, dude. I moved, in that time, I've moved officially once.

Wow. Yep. And that was last month. I'm happy to finally be in a place where I'm like, I'm hopeful I'll be here for a little bit. Like maybe over a year, maybe two. Like, yeah, no, I mean, I, I did the four years there and now I'm at this new place and I'm like, I should have moved. I should, I should have moved. I was four years at that. You should have moved a while ago. I should have moved from that original apartment like two years ago. Yeah. Like I'm like,

Oh shit, wait, it could be better. Wait, I could have like an LG appliance in my place and not like the shittiest fucking wash. I mean, it was awesome that I had an in-unit wash and dryer in the first place because that was like something I was looking for. But like, man, my washer sings to me now, dude. It's awesome. And your alarms shout fire, fire, fire. That's a different story. Okay, recently there has been a problem with my apartment and now...

beautiful Lewis came by this morning and he took he took one of the alarms and he's gonna replace a battery and if it keeps going then he's gonna fucking he's gonna replace the battery honestly I could really I realistically I could have done that I could have replaced a nine volt battery like um and I don't think that that's the problem with it either I think that it's it's a new apartment like it's not those things last for what two years nine volts yeah um

no my fucking washer dry dude actually dries my clothes I can I can dry I can dry blankets dude I can dry towels in one go that's big I used to have to take my towels and they would come out of the thing and like I asked them to fix it at my old part and they were like yeah no the air just doesn't work that way man like it's like we it just can't get enough air to dry it fast I'm like

Okay. Yeah. This new one, I can put my towels in one dry. This would take me all day. Any load of my wash in Texas, even in the last place I stayed in in Texas, would take like... I had to put the fucking dryer on four times. Yeah. And like that doesn't... And laundry's already hard for a motherfucker like me. Oh, yeah. With a broken putty brain. We know. So like having to keep on track of... God forbid fold. Clothing coming out of the dryer was bad. But to keep...

The amount of mildewy clothes that I had to deal with in the time that I lived in that apartment was insane. That like soft, that's like, it's not, it's dry, but it's still a little damp. And you're like, you can tell. Well, no, I mean like when the washer goes in and then I put it in the dryer and I do like a full hour and a half. And then I, the next morning I'm like, oh, it's probably gonna be dry. I open up and I smell it. I'm like, what is that smell? I've never been that poor, but that's cool. Yeah. Well, I'll lay man.

- LA. - Dude, my dryer, my washer, my dishwasher, they all sing to me now. They sing to the heavens. - That's good. - Dude, I-- - It's premium. - It took me so much convincing to get you to start spending a little bit of money. And you don't even realize that the money is-- - I didn't know this. - In five years, the money is not gonna be worth anything anyways. - I did not know you were convincing him to spend money. I always thought you were the cheapest person I knew.

No. No, dude. Yeah, I don't really spend money on a lot of crazy stuff. Recently, I've been kind of out of hand this fall. At my behest, dude. What does behest mean? Yeah. No, actually, honestly, that wasn't a correct usage. No. That would have been at your disapproval. I'm pretty sure. Behest.

Oh, interesting. A person's orders or command. Interesting. I did use that correctly. I think I had a misunderstanding of it because of the transitional voiceover little slideshow that happens in The Witcher 3. What?

Don't know what the fuck you're talking about. The word behest is used at a certain point. You still got a 2002 Toyota Tacoma. And it's like, it freaks and it fucking... You know exactly what I'm talking about, right? The wheel grinds up against the wheel well when he makes a right turn. I heard a lot. It's like, dude, you have a million plus hours. Like, it's time to start spending money a little bit. Man, I gotta get better at words. Because in 10 years, once Kamala wrecks the economy and inflation is... As I hope she does. At its peak, we'll know for sure. I'm voting for her to do that.

Like, you know, I like a little like market crash builds character and builds up, you know, if I have kids in 10 years, maybe 15. We've already lived through one, man. They need to like, they need a little hardship. How old are you? 15 years. 25. You're going to have kids when you're 40? Probably mid to late 30s. You want to be popping them out early 30s. You think? Yeah, early 30s. My dad had me when he was 40. I would say like mid 30s. Yeah, yeah. How old is your dad? He had me when I was 40.

It's a little late. It's late. You good at math? No. I would say mid-30s. So if my dad had me when he was 40, how old do you think my dad is? 40. No. If my dad had me, like I was born when he was 40. So if my dad's 40. No, this is a trick question. It's not a trick question. It's just math. Actually, it's addition. You just add how

how old my dad was to how old I am now. My dad is 66. My dad is 66 years old. I'm just going to drink the Raid one. And he's a good looking 66 year old. Tucker was saying this today. Yeah, he's as good as it gets. Yeah. No, he looks like a J. Crew model. Is he retired? He makes me feel good about he's actually retiring next year. Good for him.

I don't look anything like my dad. Well, I kind of do, but for the most part, I don't really. I look like my grandma, they say, but I can't really judge that because I haven't seen my grandma when she was younger. I'm definitely a mixture between my mom and my dad, I would say. I'm a pretty solid mixture. I don't know where I came from. Yeah, I don't know where you came from either. I've met your parents, too, and you don't really look like your parents, at least on the surface. We're talking about what I look like. I think I look like a mixture of my mom and my dad. What do you think?

Remember when you came over and he was gone doing fuck all and I let you sleep on the couch? Oh, yeah. On the, what was it, the rainforest trip? Yeah. Yeah. And the truck broke. Yeah. That you still have and maintain for whatever reason. And I just spent a lot of money. How much? Huh? How much money? On the repairs? Yeah, the recent one you did last month. Oh, I'm not telling that. I'm not saying that publicly. Why not? Don't tell him. I'm not saying. $6,000.

I'm not saying. $6,000? No, I'm not saying. What do you get? New front struts? Tucker, if you reveal any information, you're dead to me. I'd say. This car, you're paying more. You're like Kenan from this car pod.

I don't listen to that. He's got a BMW M5 that he pays tens of thousands of dollars on yearly to maintain. Meanwhile, the car doesn't even work that much. Man, that car is my brand. That car is hot. It's not your brand. It's my blood. It's my soul. No one even thinks about your Tacoma, man. Are you kidding me? Yes. In both of my Margaritaville and my Rainforest video.

I talk about the Tacoma. I'm back on his side. A lot of people know about the Tacoma. I'm back on Ted's side now. It's a bit on this channel where you talk about the basketball football-sized hole in the bottom of my Tacoma. The Tacoma is... The Tacoma is kind of... While the money is still worth anything... Here's what I'll say. Get a new car. Listen to this. Buy assets, man. If I asked a Jay Schlaff fan what car you drove, I think they would be less equipped to answer the question than at that. Exactly, because I have that ten of them. Yeah, that's what I was going to say. And that's all I'm saying. You know, you...

Take a look at my Geico policy, man. You hold no allegiance to anything. You've been reading it for months. Damn, he's actually mad, too. You can hear it. Yeah, you can hear it in his voice. That Tacoma is a beautiful car. And anyone who knows a thing about cars, whenever I tell them about that, they're like, you gotta never get rid of that, man. The one thing I like your Tacoma over my car is the cloth seats. Cars from early 2000s to late 2000s

like early 2010s had a superior seat

Yeah. That cloth and cloth today doesn't hold a candle to it. You get in a car today with cloth seats and it feels like shit, but that soft cloth, it's so neutral. You get in when the car is hot or when it's freezing cold. Yeah, you're right. And the seats are just perfect. It doesn't, it doesn't happen with leather. It doesn't happen with any material they use. Man, I could tell you something about leather. When my, when I was a kid, my dad used to have a BMW convertible and I would get in that car and if it was the

the winter in Massachusetts, that was like stepping into a fridge, a freezer. Yeah. I touched that. I'm like, and if it was hot, it would be like burning. Yeah, of course. Yeah. And then all the other metal pieces in cars today. And then, and then kind of like right now you lift your, you lift, get your body off. And it's like,

stick to it yeah you stick stuck to it leather's terrible why are we using the skin of cows as our furniture by the way also i don't know i don't know that that why did we do that the cloth in your tacoma the cloth in my 09 honda accord my first car i just miss it so dearly and that's the one thing if i could make any change about my car which is pretty much perfect in any other way

I would take the cloth from that shitty truck of yours and I just put it

On my seats. I would just remove the shitty software from my car because I have a Tesla. And it's crazy how shit it is. Yeah, fart mode. The only software I got is a little thing we like called radio. Yeah. It's crazy I even got that car because I moved to Austin. And then a week later, I remember the hailstorm hit. Yeah, your Tiguan got totaled. Yeah, my Volkswagen Tiguan. It got a couple of small dents just on the roof. My dad on the phone was like, yeah, call the insurance. Let's see what they do. Did they total it? Yeah, they always totaled.

I was like, oh. See, I don't understand the notion of totaling. Yeah, no, me neither. This is what showed me that is because they were like, oh, we'll give you like 14 grand for this car. I was like, holy shit. Like, awesome. And then plus that plus. So wait, they said it was totaled. Then they said they give you 14 grand. Yeah. So that definitely paid it off. Yeah, it paid it off. Well, yeah, pretty much at that point. Because it was. Well, you owned that car. Yeah, it was relatively new to an extent. And so they declared that. Why did they say it was totaled then?

Because it would have cost him more to try and repair it. But it was probably some, I mean, some fucking agent who wanted nothing to do with it anyway. So he's like, fuck it. So then I did that. Plus Joe Biden at the time did a electric vehicle tax credit. And so I did that plus the totaling money. And I got a Tesla for like pretty much free. Yeah. I realized recently that the word totaling, when people say, oh, I totaled my car or whatever, it just means that it's like too expensive to fix. Yeah. It would make more sense. No car...

with a little bit of elbow grease. Ted, you're driving a totaled car. No, I'm not. Yes, that Tacoma. No, I'm not. I like a totaled car. Okay, let's... What sound did it... Riddle me this one. Riddle me this one. What sound did it make as you pulled into the driveway of this studio? It's called love. It's purring. And then all four of us in the car said, that's not good. Let him purr. But then we looked at it and it turned out to be fine. No. No.

There was nothing fine about that. Your wheel is grinding against the wheel well. Okay. That's going to be thousands of more dollars to fix if you want to put on coil over it. Not with my guys. Dude, the car. You can sell that car for like eight grand if you tried. I don't want to go out on car talk. I'm going to embarrass myself. I couldn't sell it for eight grand? My father will listen to me, Matt. Those Tacomas are going for like ten, dude.

It's okay. I can't do car talk anymore, guys. I'm calling it. I'm sorry. I'm throwing the flag. We can end this podcast. No, don't end it yet. We can't end on car talk. Okay. Connor, have you seen another man's erect penis in real life? Not erect, no. No. All right. Well, great show, guys. Yeah, thanks for coming on, man. Yeah, no, Connor, it was really good to see you. Wait, what? Would you rather have unlimited bacon but no more video games or...

Games, unlimited games, but no games. I don't fucking know. Okay, thanks guys. Wait, no. Connor, what part of the chocolate sandwich are you? What part of the sandwich are you? And what's your answer to the first one? Ham, cheese. Ham and cheese? Ham and cheese. You can be the lunchly. I'm ham and cheese and there's mayonnaise on it and it's two slabs of white bread. You're a full sandwich inside of the sandwich? Inside the sandwich. You can do that. Kyson did that with his McDonald's meal. You put a chicken...

He put a- You never had quinceanera on the fucking podcast, you idiot! No, no, no, but in his McDonald meal, he put a chicken McSandwich in a Big Mac. That's so stupid. That's so awesome. Well, thanks for coming on- NO! What is it gonna be? You taking the bacon or you taking the games? The games.

But there's no games. Would you rather have unlimited bacon? This question was always dumb. What, no more games or games? Conceptually, stupid. It was a stupid question. As a Machinima watcher, I would hope you would appreciate it a little bit more. I don't like it, and I'm tired of it. I've had enough. Machinima is gone. You've got to answer the question, though. There's only one person on this podcast who's never answered the question. I answered it. Okay. In the past, and I don't remember what my answer was. Answer it again, because you forgot. I guess I would have...

The bacon, because at least I get something. Yeah, fair enough. You have to take the bacon. Thank you so much for Connor for coming on the pod. Thank you guys. We will see you guys in the next episode. Mr. World here. Just watching a scary movie with my eyes covered, which reminds me my eyes are also covered by my vision insurance and I need to hurry to eyeglass world and use my benefits by the end of the year, you know, before they expire.

Like that poor guy. Use your vision insurance today to buy one pair of glasses and get 40% off the second pair at eyeglassworld. Visit eyeglassworld.com to schedule your exam online and for offer details.