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You like my new Instagram post? I didn't even see it. Were you shirtless in it? No. He just had his sexy hair going. I had my sexy hair going. He was like, he's got this. I've been doing a little bit of this action. Yeah. Getting a little bit messy. Messier. He said he's out of his fashion era and into his sexy era. I did actually tell you that. And you know what's funny? I actually told you that in confidence. Wow.

And you're blowing this cover. And now you're blowing the cap off this lid. I don't know what you want me to say. This is a podcast. Do you guys have a romantic relationship? In a manner of speaking. It's like, well, I taught Ted how to jerk off.

Really? Yeah. How do you have to teach somebody how to jerk off? Well, no, because we were at a sleepover. How long have we canonically known each other? Well, we were 12, probably. Oh, yeah. Wait, you guys have known each other since you were 12? We have. We have. This is actually when we met. He woke up, and I was already jerking off. Okay. And he said, whoa. He was like, what are you doing? Yeah, how do you do that? What are you doing? And then he looked at me. He turned to me, and he says...

I'm having sex with my hand. - Wow. - And I said, you can do that? - That's crazy. - That's possible? - Yeah. - Yeah. - So you, so he, did you just- - And then I said, try and think of like a hot guy or something. - Yeah. - And I said, a guy? - I love straight people. These guys are gayer than me.

And then Ted started and then he came first. Yeah. That's crazy. Were you thinking about Schlatt? Well, I swear that we came at the same time. No. Welcome to Chuckle Sandwich.

This is bringing up memories that I never, you know, I never remembered until now. I mean, I feel like I'm on one of those formative ayahuasca trips in Bali where I'm just, I'm like, I'm throwing up. You know? You've seen that? Yeah, the videos are... Yeah, pull up ayahuasca trip in Bali, like throw up thing. It's like four white people going like... Well, that's what happens when you're on ayahuasca, apparently, is that like... What is ayahuasca? It's a drug. Okay. I think it's...

Why you vomit on ayahuasca? Why do they do this? It cleanses you, that's why. It cleanses you, yeah. They just drink, like, this ayahuasca to puke. You get high in puke? Yeah, I think it's like a, it's, this person's talking about how they fumbled around in the dark throwing up. It's, it's a, it's. That sounds terrifying. And then all your trip-sitters who are, like, native to that region, they just, like,

Yeah, there's yeah, it's like yeah, you'll be fine. You know, it's I would say it's probably oh my god So it's just like literally the point is to do this and throw I think it's the people it's their punishment for culturally appropriating ayahuasca That's what happens. It's like what region is this?

- This is like South America, right? - Possibly. Amazonian, looks like. - Yeah. - Western Amazon, yeah. Yeah, no, so it's like people will go and they'll, I don't know, it has to do with some level of sort of cultural shamanism. - It's like bloodletting, you know?

- That's European dude, that's as white as they come. Bloodletting? - But it's the same thing. They're taking all the toxins out of you. - No, this is like a shamanism thing. This is bloodletting. - What does that mean? - Shamanism? - Yeah. - It's a sort of form of religion. I mean, in a community we'll have a shaman that is a healer and they'll, I took a whole class on it in college. And you know what? - You went to college? - I did. - Do you have a degree?

I do. Really? I have a Bachelor of Science. I have a Bachelor of Business Administration. I didn't even know you could get a fucking minor until I got my degree. They're like, I'm minoring in this. We, I mean, we opened up right away and we were back on the penis talk. I can't help but talk about penises anyway. And why is that?

I don't know. I don't know. It's a part of me. I just don't, I don't think I've ever grown up. I feel like if you're talking about penises, you've definitely grown up. Well, yeah. Growing up and showing up. I know. That's true. I used to be insecure about my penis. Yeah. But I'm not anymore. What? Oh, good. Go for it. No, no, no. You guys are both brilliant. Take it home. Take it home, babe. Tell me. Come on. What was it that, you know, cured your anxiety over it?

I don't know. I think I have dick dysmorphia. Dick's morphia. Yeah. Dick's morphia where I look at it and I'm like, I don't know how big that is. And then I realized that when I got out into the wild and I started comparing it to other people. The waist. Yeah. No, like I started sizing up with other people. I was like, damn, I'm, I'm actually pretty good. Really? Yeah. How do you, I mean, what,

I feel like as a gay man you must have a very I feel like a gay man has a better understanding of like yeah of of like penis sizes out in the world than a straight man ever will. I don't think that's a fair assessment. I've never seen another erect penis. That was a fake story. In person? Yeah in person. Wait that wasn't that wasn't a fake story. Really? Yeah. In person. Well I've never seen one. Really? I've never seen it. You've never seen one? No. Not even online? I've never seen it. In person man!

I wasn't filming Kimmy Granger likes it rough. Let's get that up on the screen. My wife edits, dude. She's been talking about it. Your wife edits this podcast? Yeah, she's over there. Oh, hey, where is she? I'm so sorry. Kimmy Granger likes it rough. No, she said I can't anymore. She said you can't. She said that's done. Give me the laptop.

Come and get it. Okay, okay, wait, wait, wait, sit down, wait, wait. I got, I got, I can, I got something to ease your worries. I'm gonna, this is called what we call redirection. Okay. I've got something. Is this a sandwich? I've got something here for you, Schlatt, that's gonna keep you happy. Is that Dalman Perrion? This is a little, like, thing we like to call Benedictine. And this is gonna keep you happy.

Yeah. There you go. Come to papa. Yeah, there you go. Oh, fuck. Oh, fuck.

Why would you pull it by the wire? Lawson, if you don't know, Benedictine is my favorite drink. Have you had it before? Have you seen this bottle? Here, hold on to your mic. Never. Good. Never. It's made by a bunch of monks in the Alps. Oh. You keep saying that, and I don't know how true that is. Is it alcohol? Yes, 40%. Holy shit. Yeah, same. Do you mind? The tiniest amount. Get a drop of it. I've actually never tried this before. Should I get a hit of it? Let it coat your mouth.

Oh, it's so nice, isn't it? That's a spiritual experience. It's an herbal liqueur. That is really good. Do you just drink this whole thing from the bottle? Yeah, neat. That's awesome. That's delicious. What the hell were we talking about? Cock. Yes. So I've never seen, you've never seen an erect penis? I've never seen an erect penis. I've never seen an erect vagina. Do you? I'm sorry. One second, I need a mic management.

Your wife is in the room. Ted just left the podcast. Ted, do you want us to stop? So Ted's apartment is on fire. Yeah. What could it be? I hope it's not my fault. Well, if it's an apartment building, surely there's somebody else there. What is Emma going to do? Yeah, let's say it is on fire. Well, I don't know. I'm just like, they're saying that there's a fire alarm going off. And I'm like, what? She's not going to be able to reach it to turn it off. Hope you got insurance, man.

I just like saying shit that makes it worse. You're stoking the fire. I wish I had some sort of cameras in my apartment so I could like look. You should have like a ring or something. Are you gonna be okay? I mean, I'm just a little concerned. Ted's apartment is on fire, you guys. Getting a call saying my apartment's on fire, I just finished setting that thing up. Can you call? We clean that all day.

Can you go up there and look for me? Because they, what are they going to be like? Well, the pickup's in three minutes for Emma.

It's a 15 minute drive. I mean that means we'll figure out in 15 minutes. Uber's like, "So how you doing?" "Go to see if my friend's apartment's burning." I'm stressed dude. Ted, let's run through this logically. We just started the podcast. Listen man, I'm a left brain person. I try to think things through. I try to generate solutions to problems when they exist. That's why I'm terrible with women. Yeah. Because they just want a shoulder to cry on. You said the alarm is saying fire?

Like, it's- Well, why don't they go up there? Fire! Fire! They do say that. Do they? Yeah. Fire. Fire. Panic. Help. Get her on the phone. Let me talk to her. Call her on the phone. This is good podcast content. So, as I was saying, I like to come up with solutions. You look like you need a couple solutions. So, let's think this through. If we get to the apartment and it's on fire-

We can't do shit. Wait, I'm just gonna... The fire department has to do it. Why don't you call her? I think I should just go over there. I'm sorry. You're gonna make her put out the fire? Or just like call... This is peak misogyny. This is how Ted treats his employees. Actually, no, you know what? This isn't. This is the... Fuck the patriarchy. This is equality, right? This is equality. You deal with it. Sending a woman into a fire.

Which we totally, that is equal. We did that a bunch of years ago in the Triangle Shirtwaist Factory. Really? Yeah, we just left them in there. The women? Yeah, yeah. They were making shirts and like little garments and stuff. And then the building burned down. Wait, is this a real thing? Yeah, Triangle Shirtwaist Factory. Oh my God, this actually happened 113 years ago. Yeah, yeah.

This led to building codes. This is why every building in New York City has a fire escape and all that. Most of the victims are recent Italian or Jewish immigrant women. 14 to 23. 14 to 23. Jesus. Oh my gosh. Oh my gosh. They all die? Most of them did. Holy shit.

Yeah, because they'd lock the doors so that no one could leave. It led to like, oh, hey, bud. Oh, my God. It led to like building codes and safety, you know, safety rules being put into place. It was actually, when you think about it like that. Yeah. I'm glad it happened. Yeah, me too. Maybe this will be something great, Ted. The podcast was going so well, too, and then my apartment set on fire. No, it's okay. It happens. You're fine, man. Your apartment is not on fire. If your apartment is burning down right now, I'll eat my hat. Yeah.

You're locking that in. You're going to eat your hat. You want me to be eating my hat at the end of this? And by the way, I know a thing or two about fires. Your apartment will be gone by now. My lovesack couch. Tell us about the erect pussies. Yeah. Well, hold on. Before I get to erect pussies, at least you don't own it, right? Well, yeah, but like if it's my fault. Anyway, erect pussies.

There's like a little like part of the pussy. Where? In it somewhere. That like gets aroused in a rack. Can we look it up? Is that the clitoris? Yes. Oh my God, that's an actual fucking clitoris. Do you think they did a special photo shoot for this clitoris? It's well lit. Do you think that they did? It's well lit. Do you think that they did like a, wait, where is it?

What do you mean, where is it? I'll be honest, that's gross. A butthole looks much better than that. You know that? No. That looks like just a sad, sad thing. See, when it's... I don't know. I don't know. Vagina's just... It's just an interesting-looking thing.

Dude, Ted, you're all mopey now, man. You're no fun. Well, yeah, because now I'm being told I have fucking apartments on fire. You're no fun, man. No, come on, Ted. We send a runner. Have a little fun. Ted, come on. Have a little fun. There's nothing you can do right now. I know, but everything I've worked for in the last fucking week, everything was working out. I can't have my apartment set on fire. Worst case scenario, your apartment burns to the ground. I'm going to kill myself. No, you're not. I'm going to kill myself. Don't kill yourself, Ted. I'm going to kill myself. We move.

No, no, Ted. I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna do it. Why are we looking at clitoris? That's what an erect one looks like, man. It doesn't look that different. Do all pussies look the same? Maybe that's just how I always see pussy. Have you seen one like that before?

I can tell you what Kimmy Granger's looks like. It's not that. So... This is making me... Can we take this off? I'm starting to get sick to my stomach. I think a penis is prettier. I really do. Maybe I'm a little biased. Yeah, but you're just thinking about the shaft. You're not thinking about the ball sack. I love a good ball sack. What do you like about them? What's like a good quality in a ball sack? Just fucking... Like tight or loose? It depends on the temperature.

Neutral temperature. Yeah, let's not talk about high temperatures. Just a little bit of hang. A little bit of hang? Yeah, a little bit of hang, something I can grab onto. But nothing that's like too droopy or looks old. No, yeah, a little too much. I think every ball sack looks a little old, let's be honest. Not mine.

You have a youthful looking ball. What does that even look like? Just like it's perfectly spherical and shiny? I feel like you got a good ball sack. I bet it's hairless. Just like perfectly round and hairless. Like looks like looks like looks like Spongebob when they polished him. Do you guys always get this sexual or is it me? Oh no, it's just you. It's you. Yeah. This episode of Chuckle Sandwich is sponsored by Chubbies. Football season is here. Yes, sir. And it's time to suit up, baby.

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Well, what do you do? I don't think I've seen you live once. I went live. Well, recently I've been doing a show called In the Tub where I travel around the country and I interview people in their own bathtub. Oh, okay. Which is actually kind of fun. It's like an Eric Andre, Zach Galifianakis style, like awkward interview. And you're shirtless. I'm shirtless. They are shirtless. They are shirtless. Who have you had on that? I've had Ludwig.

I've had... Why do you roll your eyes? I don't know. Who else? I've had Mizkif. I've had Cinnabar... Cinnabar? Really? Had Cinnabar on recently. I had Extra Emily on. Really? Uh-huh. I had... I had... I had...

Who else did I have on? I'm getting a text now that's saying, management told me they don't think our alarms talk. I'm not sure what she's hearing or where it's coming from. Please let me know when your person arrives and checks it out. Thank you so much. Emma might be going over there for no reason, and there might be just some sort of random vague alarm that's yelling fire. So they don't have like a system that says, it just says somebody heard your alarm going off? Well, yeah, no. This person who works for the management company is telling me...

Hi, your neighbor is saying that they think your alarm is going off and saying fire. Am I ruining your podcast? No. No, Ted is currently. You're a demon.

You're a demon sent from hell. Who is- Isn't he Catholic? Who is- Quite, quite. And you're sent from the Catholic hell, which is a pretty bad one, by the way. That's the only one! Um... Last time I checked. I don't know, dude. What other hell are you going to? Dude, I'm crossing the river Styx. And trust me, I'm getting gold on my eyes, so I got the money to pay. How old are you guys? 25. I'm walking through the fields of grain. You're 25. Yeah. I'm 26.

I'm 30. Oh. I'll be 31 in November. What's something you've noticed? Because you like to stay healthy. I do. Has your body started deteriorating yet? I can't drink and be, like, the hangovers are different. Yeah. I feel like that starts when you're, like, 24, though. Yeah. I had a hangover in San Diego.

where I had to call a nurse to my room to get an IV. That's very bougie. Yeah, that... You had to call a nurse? What happens... You have, like, the number to a nurse? What? I'm recording a podcast right now. Yeah.

Who's this? It's Mia. Who the fuck is- What? Does she even have anything to do with the fire? I'm getting calls, people telling me my apartment's on fire. Mia? I gotta go. Who's Mia? His just neighbor friend. Bye. Fucking asshole. Mia, uh, played a She-Ra on, uh, played a She-Ra on the movie

that I made a video about. - Oh, right, yeah, Ashira, yeah. - No, no, in the vampire one, yeah. - Buffy? - No, I'm forgetting the name of the video. My own video, it was something like,

Blood thing I dude I was doing so good the moment. I got that call. I've been off. I've been off There's flies everywhere. It's okay. We got time to cover me the horsemen of the apocalypse We got time to recover. I feel like we can get it together editor

Okay, so Austin, what was really good? What were we talking about before everything went haywire? Is that poison? Yeah. We're going to be swamped over. What is that? It's quite nice smelling, actually, when you... No, smell it. No. Stop it. Smell it. Tucker. No, I'm all set. It'll ease that. You're actually spraying us with raid? No.

It smells nice. It kills bugs on contact. Austin, walk us through what happens when you get so drunk you need to call a nurse. I'm surprised you're even able to wield this, you fucking insect. Hey, we're telling a story now. So I went to the gay bars. And if you know anything about gay bars, gay bars have like extra alcohol in their drinks. It's called the gay bar pour. They have poppers too, don't they? They do have poppers. Yeah.

Schlaz Poppers. No, I'm Poggers. He's Poggers. No, the new product that you're going to- Oh, my new product. Schlaz Poppers. Schlaz Poppers. You have poppers? I might. Do you have a gay audience? Yeah, Barry. Really? Oh, yeah. Really? Super closeted, too. Really? Super closeted. You have the homophobic gay audience. Nice. You know what? We should have brought poppers for you here as one of your refreshments.

To do? Yeah, we just all do some poppers. I gotta focus on this. Is it hard? Okay. Yeah, yeah. You're hungover. I'm hungover. It's hard to do? I get drunk at this gay bar. Is it illegal? It's not illegal. Anyway, I get drunk at this gay bar, wake up the next day, headache, can't take Advil because my stomach's empty and it'll hurt if I take Advil on an empty stomach, right?

Mm-hmm can't eat cuz my stomach hurts right? Why should take an alpha seltzer it? I didn't have one I can't drink cuz my tummy hurts right I puke Right and I realized I have to do name your price at twitchcon in like two hours. Yeah, so I call an emergency nurse I google it nurse to my room now. That's why I go I get some I call get some woman from the Philippines put my credit card down You're not sure she'll even show up or not. Not sure then this big

Woman came and showed up and gave me an IV. I spent $400. And as she's pumping Tordal, which is like a headache thing, Zofran, which is anti-nausea, B12, fluids, I slowly come back to life.

Wow. How quickly was the turnaround? 30 minutes. It was like drinking chug jug. And then you felt like you were good as new, like you never had a hangover? No, yeah, no. You just feel like tired, but you feel like you're back to... Dude, that's crazy. Back to life, yeah. What the hell? They have those little things of like garlic or something in Japan at the family mart where you'll drink it before you get drunk. And then it's like a wall of defense against the alcohol. And you wake up and it's like, I feel fine. That whole Twitch con, I would...

I bought some Tylenol or whatever from the, some sort of, some sort of shit from the store. And I would take it right before I went to sleep. That's my thing. I take Advil before I fall asleep when I feel a little dizzy or something. That's what I do. And I wake up and I'm like, little bit of a fuzz, but I'm fine. Yeah. Yeah, I'm doing good. Do you guys, what's it like to be young? Oh, it's amazing. I mean, there's nothing better than time. Are you afraid of 30?

I'm kind of afraid of 25. Honestly, are you not 25? I'm 25. I just turned 25. Can I hit you with some honesty? Yeah. When I look at people like you and Will Neff and folks, and like...

Caroline and stuff. I don't, I don't get afraid. Cause I'm like, cause you guys, you guys are, cause I think that you guys seem like you're so happy. You're doing the work that I want to be doing when I'm that age. And we look good. Right. And you look great. Yeah.

Yes, no, that is genuinely yes. So now that as I have more friends that are in their 30s, it's like almost I'm leaning into it and I'm becoming comfortable with the notion, not that I really have a choice other than killing myself.

You said killing yourself? That's the only other choice you have other than turning 30. That's true. You have to either turn 30 or kill yourself when you turn 27. You see some people though, I will say, when you get to 30, you start seeing some fucking rough people. Yeah. This is the age where if you didn't take care of yourself and you just act like a teenager, it starts to get rough. Can I also mention something, Schlatt? Yeah. I just realized, you know that prediction you gave of my death date? Yeah. Yeah.

of October or something in 2025. Yeah. Do you realize that that would put me in the 27 Club? What does that mean? You haven't heard of this? No. Oh, that was... Tucker, would you look up the 27 Club? Yeah. Mm-hmm. I'm happy. Is this like a... 27 Club. Is this like a group of people who died? That died at 27. Yeah, 27. It's just like a... It's just a... Just a lot of them who are famous, like... Janis Joplin, Jim Morrison, and Ted Nivison. Ha ha ha! Ha ha ha!

Kurt Cobain, I guess. Kurt Cobain was 27? Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Wow. Yeah, do you think you could have that much effect on the world? 27, man. You probably, if it makes you feel any better, Ted, they wouldn't add you to this. Yeah, they wouldn't. They wouldn't. I mean, you could. They may take you off. I don't know how that would make me feel better, though. Wouldn't that be fucked up if they added you to this and then somebody's like, nah.

And then I finally get the Wikipedia. Yeah, Chucklers everywhere. Please, for the love of God, get on Wikipedia. Wait, do you have a Wikipedia? I just got one. I just got one. Okay, they always use the shittiest fucking photos of people. Look at Jay Schlatt.

Wait, I mean, that's a pretty good photo. Yeah. Okay. Look at Ted Nivison's. It's not. He doesn't have one. You know, I've got one. You can try to look it up. Look at this fucking shitty ass. They always use a fucking shitty ass photo of me. Wait, why does Austin's show get one and I don't get one? You look fine. What's the problem with that? Don't scroll too far. Don't scroll too far. Look at Will Neff's. Yeah, look. Don't scroll too far. Wait, you want Will Neff?

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, okay. No he was there look at me. He was in the page just Google will now I'm so mad I don't want to go up. There you go. No, that's good. That's actually good. Look at Hassan's is a fucking model photo. Wow they got look at that shit He's not that's 2018. Are you fucking kidding me? Yeah, that's not fair. They can't find a modern photo this you guys have seen that feel like I've seen that photo a lot of articles and stuff and like

Look up my name again. Why did it take you so long to get a fucking I feel like you're more famous I don't know. I really don't know everything for everyone else. It's like you're trying not to find it. I know I look Oh, you've got a wicket to be us not there. Okay, we could to be I'm not even on the Nibbison last name That's crazy to some random Ithaca College, you know, I'll just part of school communications. Let's go down to notable alumni. Oh

Look at that! It's red! They put me on there, but then they don't give me a Wikipedia page. I'm notable. We should have that. Someone should add a redirect to J Slime. And you know what? It kind of pisses me off. Why do I not get it, but fucking Bob Iger does? CEO of Disney? We're basically the same level of famous. Literally. I mean, you probably would pull more of a crowd. Actually, no, those Disney fans are rabid.

Wait, you got a Buffy the Vampire Slayer actor in there. Yeah. Yeah. A lot of, yeah. There's also, what is it? The guy that did the Twilight Zone. What's his name? Good evening. If Tucker scrolled at all. He died of lung cancer. Drinking water on the job. Jessica Sandwich. I'm forgetting his name. No, Savage.

Savage. It's working. David Muir. David Muir. You like David Muir, Schlatt. Who's that? Muir? Oh, yes. David Muir. David Muir. What do you mean I like him? He's the guy that did the debate for... You just like him. He was employed. So I'm on there. I'm the only one with a red name where it's like, oh, okay. But we're not going to give him a pay. Both of you... Give me a pay.

Both of you have a higher level of fame than I do, and none of you have Wikipedia pages. I think that you're pretty notable. Am I notable? How do you perceive me? I perceive you as pretty notable. When you think Austin Show, do you think notable? I think Lover Host. I think some names we don't want to say anymore. Yeah, probably. Yeah, I'm sure. I think...

I think Lover Host still. That's still. Well, yeah, because you got invited to like 30 times. I was on that show like 30 times. 30 times. You loved it every time. I have great memories of Lover Host. I feel like I did well on them. You did very well. This episode was also sponsored by HelloFresh. It's the holiday season, Chucklers. And if you're anything like me, you're juggling it all, baby. Juggling. From endless holiday treats to traveling between family and friends. And of course,

Spending big on gifts. There's only so much stress one person can take. There's only so much stress one person can take. Ted, calm down. Ted, calm down. I'm stressed, man. What if I told you... What? That there's a way to make this season a little easier. A way to save money, save time, and have stress-free delicious meals ready to go every single night? Yes, exactly. Lucky for you, Chucklers.

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This episode I feel bad for the editor of this episode. That's Emma. She just went to go to Currently dying in a fire She's currently she's currently like like in the 1800s in Chicago like yeah buckets to put out my apartment Yeah, she's got oh she's got a fire to get the whole neighborhood worked up together the fire line What would you do if your apartment somebody? Oh Okay, no, thank you for that. No, okay. What would you do if somebody said that you're a house and

Was on fire. I'd call 911. I'd probably call them and say, call 911. This is my thing. I'm not going to fucking chance it. People take too long to call 911. Okay? Too long. Too long. The moment my fucking house, my alarm goes off, immediate, 911.

What's your emergency? Any alarm? If my alarm goes off, like too many, like why? I grew up, my dad would always, like our alarm system went off a few times in the middle of the night. Yeah. And he'd always be like, oh, what's going on? And like go and think it's a false alarm. Right. What's the point of an alarm if you think it's going to be a false alarm every time? And what's the point of police if you don't use them? That's it. If you're paying for them. That's it. Pay for them.

All those motherfuckers. Here's what I'll say. There was one time when I was a kid that I called the 911. For fun? I was six. Okay? I was six. One of the whitest things you've done. I said, I called 911, and my dad was like, huh? You what? And I was like, that's what they taught me to do.

I think I was just testing it out. I think they knew it was a kid because it wasn't- when you call 911, that's- that's the whole Calvary. They send an ambulance, they send a fire truck, they send- Well no no no they don't. When you call 911 and you're six and you don't tell them anything, they send the Calvary. According to Amazon, no fire. No fire. We kinda knew that. No fire, we kinda knew that, but I didn't. When you call 911, if you're just like, "Ah, da da da," they will send everything.

Yeah, yeah, 911. But because it was a kid on the other line. No, if you tell them, they'll send whatever they need. No, no, no, no. If you call them and you're like, beep. Yes, they send everything. Of course they would. Because they don't know what to send. So if you call the number and you're like, beep, it would send everyone. Of course they will. You call that 911. We're not arguing. Help me! Help me!

Help me! They'll still send everyone! They would? Okay, what if I called them and they were like, "I've got a gun. I've got a fucking gun." They'll send the SWAT team. They'll send the SWAT team. That's more than everyone. They'll send the SWAT team. See, now you're changing your answers. What? What? No, no, no. No. Okay.

If I, if I, if my alarm goes off, I have a system. My alarm goes off immediately. 911. Immediate. Wait, like even in the morning? Like you're so startled that you're like, no, 911. Okay. What's your emergency? I don't know what's going on. Help. And then they come because worst case scenario, I'm just like, whoops, it went off. I didn't know. What are they going to do? We're not coming back. That's so, that's so white mom coded of you. They have to keep coming.

- They have to keep coming. - They do, they really do. - They do until you get to Ludwig's status where they would call the SWAT team on his house. - They still come. - But then the cops started saying like,

Why don't you get a different job? They said that? Yeah, they looked me in the eyes and they're like, maybe you should do something else. That's crazy. Yeah, based on their couple times that they were inconvenienced. That's insane. Yeah, the LAPD, which is better funded than most militaries. Yeah. What's their budget? What is it? $83 billion a year? Yeah. $83 billion, something like that.

80 bill. I'm thinking somewhere around 80 bill. Maybe 800 million. 3.3 billion. 3.3 billion dollars annually. It's too low. That's like SoFi Stadium every year.

Every year a stadium where I overshot that by 77 billion dollars take forever to show up It's a nice guys that I just overshot that number by 77 billion dollars. That is so many Government overshoots things by that amount very free. I didn't even bat an eye

So Schlatt, you're a points guy. So I have a thing, right? I'll use the points when I remember about them. Whenever I'm in a loyalty program, I'm a creature of habit. So if I have a hotel that I know works, I'll stay there again. That's how we met at the SLS, because you gave me the recommendation. Are you staying there this trip? No, I'm in Ted's bed. He's in my bed.

Alone. Where are you sleeping? I'm on my beautiful new couch. No, okay, you gotta understand. So when Schlatt comes out for chuckle week, he doesn't want to be here. He would rather be anywhere else. Ideally his home. So when he comes all the way out to Los Angeles, it is the responsibility of Tucker and I to essentially put him in a bubble wrap suit of comfort so that he will be happy. I would demand a hotel.

We demanded he didn't stay there. No, we demanded that he did not stay at our hotel because if he leaves our vicinity, if we don't have him around, something's going to happen to him.

Is this true? It will. It will. Something is going to happen to him. If he goes to a hotel, even if it's a five-star greatest hotel in the world, he's going to get shot by a bellhop. He's going to get... And then it becomes his problem. I'm starting to think you're a diva. He's going to get suplexed by housekeeping. I'm a diva too.

This is why we get along so well. Okay, so look. You like your hotel points. So I'll stay somewhere, and it'll often just accidentally I'll build up status. That's how I got into JetBlue Mosaic. Yeah.

Because I flew with them so many times because they had the free snacks. Yeah, of course. But then everyone else caught up. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So I lost Mosaic. Yeah, yeah. So that's how I... That's what I did with Alaska. Is that like the equivalent of like Delta 360 or something? No, Delta Diamond probably. Delta Diamond. I'm a Delta Diamond and I'm also an Alaska 75K.

The way I like to think about it is why I hate getting on planes. I hate like I hate thinking about credit cards and perks and advantages and shit. It's too hard to keep track of. Why would I spend time in like researching something that I fucking hate in the first place? Like I'm not going to if the points come, they come. But I'm not going to like do research into and try and maximize points. I'm not min maxing points. I mean, that is definitely a hobby for some people.

Some people like to get dirty with their points. Oh, yeah. You like to get dirty with your points. No. You're always talking about your credit card points and stuff. Well, if I can get a free flight, that's a pretty big deal for us. That is. And if I go on the bank. He was talking about how he emphasized the fact that he makes dirt money. If I go on the credit card website, and it's like, hey, you have enough miles to buy a free flight. I'm like, Brian, that's quite a nice surprise. I get stuck in the thing where I just keep asking.

adding more miles and then I get like, I'm like, does this flight deserve for me to use the miles? Yeah, no. Or should I keep adding to the, what if I want a bigger flight? Like you're playing Dark Souls and you have like 50,000 potions in inventory and you don't use any of them? You know, potions? You probably, shut the fuck up. I'm trying to be relatable, man. I'm worth $10 million, okay? Is that really true? Yeah. Can we Google Schlatt's net worth?

It's not like Google's gonna know. They'll know. They probably have my net worth at like three million dollars, which is far above what I actually am worth. Eight million. They're close. Look up, look up Austin Show net worth. How much are you worth? I don't know. Let's see what the internet says. Why is Austin Show so rich?

Okay, yeah for four million four million four point oh three. That's really specific right probably damn guys Okay, maybe this is why I don't have a Wikipedia page. I don't think you know a network works Jesus Christ Holy what do you mean that was awesome cuz chuckle and that maybe so both like brands to which have value that you Do you guys count your your channels worth into your net worth and mentally no it I

Because nobody would buy my channel. Okay, well now I look like an idiot. Why did you tell me that? What? God, I'm so upset today. Who's going to buy Ted Nimdy? You are the channel. Bro, that's you. Tucker, you just got me made fun of big time. Yeah. Sorry. I've been wanting to say that for a while. It's okay. We can't say it. We can't say it. I know. I called Will Neff on the podcast and everybody got so uncomfortable. Really? I could say it if I was honest. Yeah. I don't... You're not a... Thank you. You're so welcome. What does it mean to be that? Well, there's two definitions.

One is you're homophobic and you are calling it against gay people But I think we've taken the power back from the word and we just call each other the F slur but I Actually think we need to take it back and like we need we need to call Elon Musk the F slur because he is You know what I mean? Like I'm not talking. Do you see my tweet last night? No Twitter look at Twitter so I can get your like I can get it my phones. Yeah, let's see

Me when my dad bought me Red Dead Redemption at GameStop in 2002. Oh, and then the fucking GameStop employee was like, looks your parent in the eyes, he's like, do you understand what this game is? Do you know this is rated F?

Yeah, no, GameStop employees were like... There were some bad people. They took pride in that. They were like, I'm going to ruin this kid's day. Well, because they probably looked at us as like, oh, this squeaker wants to get in. This Christmas noob. And the way I said that, Austin looked at me like, was that a slur that you just said? Squeaker? No, I was a squeaker. Yeah, I know, but he was like, this squeaker wants to play in the big leagues? He's like, they're operating as like the fucking Sentinel or something. Yeah.

Trying to buy Modern Warfare 2. You know, there's a mission where you walk into an airport and slaughter everyone in it. Yeah, no, I do remember Modern Warfare 2 being a lot easier to get than Red Dead Redemption. I definitely played it before. I think the parents just accepted the military industrial complex before they accepted the Western industrial complex. What is it about games like that, like Grand Theft Auto, no matter, you could be the sweetest

person on the planet. - Sweetest peach in town. - Sweetest peach in town.

And the first thing you do is fucking get on top of a parking garage and just mow down civilians. Or fuck a hooker and then kill her. And then take your money right back. I used to fucking, that was my first formidable masturbation experience. Yeah? I would. You jerk off to getting laid? My first jerk, like I used to jerk off by humping the corner of objects. The corner? The corner. The sharp part? No, like a chair. I used to hump chairs.

Before I could finish and then I used to fit then I realized I was finishing and it kept getting wet in my pants I used to hump chairs my flaccid and it just felt good to hump a chair. Did nobody ever do this? I originally before I discovered the this before you know before I discovered the hand did you never do this before I discovered the hand I was like thought it would well listen listen I got something for you before I discovered the hand I

I had a period where I was like kind of concerned where I was like I don't know how I'm gonna make these feelings go away because I genuinely thought at the time that the way that people were supposed to masturbate was I was supposed to become flexible enough to suck my own dick.

Yeah, and I was like when I was like when I was a kid I like tried to do it. I was like that's not happening. Yeah I guess I'm just screwed. Did you do the wall walk? What's the wall walk? No, I like I did like I just like tested once. So this is the wall right? You get up and your knees your legs are like above you. Oh

And your dick is facing down. And then you walk up the wall and your body crunches. Were you able to successfully? I tried to do a crunch and I was like, that's just not happening. There's no way. I can't pull up like a caterpillar. The wall walks as close as you can get. Yeah, I've never even tried. And trust me, I was concerned for a little bit. But then I was like,

It was one day I was like, because I knew, I think at the time I also knew how the function of sex worked or how the dick would become, you know, stimulated. So at one point, so at one point, so at one point, so at one point, I like. Go ahead. Tell us more about you sucking your own dick. Come on.

Come on, Ted. Get it out. You know what's crazy? We made this work for you. I made this work for you. Oh, I'm sorry. You want me to leave? I want you to bend the knee. You want me to get him? Bend the knee? Kiss the ring? Kiss the ring.

Alright, I feel better now. Anyways, so I'm trying to suck my own dick. Okay. And then... This podcast is a fucking mess. No, don't! Look at me. Don't touch my hair. I need to see myself. So I'm trying to suck my own cock. Yeah, yeah. And then I was like, this isn't going to work. And then I was like,

Wait a second. Is that how small it is? Wait a second. Come on, Ted. Everybody knows you're going to go like, wait a second. Wait, I was like, wait a second. I was like, wait a second. Just kidding. I was like, wait a second. Overhand or underhand? Like that? That's crazy. Oh, no, dude. I do the towel squeezer. No. Like that, dude. Wait, from both directions? You give like an Indian burn? Yeah. Indian sunburn.

Like that. That's got to be like an old racist thing. A couple of these. You know what I mean? It's got to be like that. It's like a Looney Tunes cartoon. A couple of these, a couple of these, and then... Anything like that has to be racist. Some old white guy made it up, and then we just kept... Did you know... There's a comedian. They kept... Anyway, let's not get into racist stuff, but... The first porn I ever watched was on a Nintendo DSi.

Racist? What? Sorry. What? I'm sorry. I'm talking about porn again. Go ahead. I went to xnxx.com on my DSi. You went to porn on your DS? Yeah, on the DSi. Dude, this episode's ridiculous. This is ridiculous. I was picking the right video with the stylus. Austin, can I play you a song? Mm-hmm. Okay, I'll play you a song. Hit me. Tell me if you recognize this song. Come on, Ted. Oh.

It's five o'clock on a Saturday. The regular crowd shuffles in. There's an old man sitting next to me making love to his tonic engine. He said, son, will you play me a memory? I'm not really sure how it goes.

Something about Davey who's still in the Navy and probably will be alive Okay, I know I got a harmonica that's really cool is that your excuse to

Whip it out? Show that I can play Veronica? Yeah, because I lost it when we were talking about it last episode, the last episode that came up and- Oh yeah. Yeah, 'cause I- That's really cool. Is that one of your only talents? I'm sorry. I bought it recently. It's miraculously easy to play. Why do I want to shit on Ted? Do you shit on Ted? Yeah, it's very easy to. I don't really know why. I think it's because I'm so nice and I also don't get mad. I get shit on a lot. I don't get mad. Not like actually. Like have you ever seen me mad, Austin? No. Can you imagine me get mad? No, I could see you getting upset.

I don't think I've gotten mad once. You're pretty even, Kiel. Stupid. It's a stupid thing to say. It's a foolish thing to say. You're pretty straight-faced. If you got mad, I don't know if I'd be able to tell. Oh, yeah. Well, any time I get mad, it's me faking it. I think I've gotten... You've seen me get mad, like, twice. Ever, I think. You're like, I'll fake being mad for...

For content? Right, right. That's why I can't tell. But I don't think there's anything you could actually say to me that would upset me. Have you ever seen me get mad flat? I don't think so. Maybe once or twice. How are you with fans? Oh, I hate them. Do they come up to you? Often. What do you do?

I say, what? Do you say, do you want a photo? They think you're in character. It's the worst when they, oh, well, I have to be in character because if I'm just like my quiet self, then it's like, oh, well, I just saw this guy. It's not, I just saw Shlatt. So anytime, like I really like hamming it up.

When they're with like their their mom or something. It was a Reddit post from five months ago. Does Schlatt actually hate us? Yeah, I still remember from a truck driving stream He did that he said that he hates conventions that he hates being around us I can't tell if he actually does hate us or if he's just being Schlatt. Edit for God's sakes people. I'm not parasocial I don't know this dude, and he doesn't know me I just have a really hard time distinguishing between jokes and the real statements

Oh, yeah. I mean, if you come up to me and you're cool about it, I'll let you know. That's how you know if you had an interaction with me that I enjoyed. I'll leave and say, like, thanks for being cool or something. Yeah, correct me if I'm wrong, but I feel- Now when you don't say that, they're going to be like, oh, fuck. Yeah, I'm pretty sure that you've told me in the past that your favorite type of interaction with a fan is like when someone comes by and they're just like, what's up, Sean? Oh, yeah, I was at the airport. I was at the airport walking by to get to the Hudson News to get a pack of nuts-

And this dude walking by the other way, he goes, what's up, Schlatt? And I go, hey. And he keeps going. That's happened to me a lot. And I was like, oh. Yeah, it's kind of cool when that happens. Thank you. I like a good long interaction.

Really? I sat next to a fan on the way to LA one time, like the entire flight. I think I'd jump off the plane. Well, I was having like, it was like the one time. I think I'd threaten a bomb or something. I was sitting. Or just frame them. She was really sweet. So I don't know if you know this, that man over there, he said he has a

I would never. Well, I get, I don't know. She was really nice. I sat next to her. I was having a fuck, the worst day I've ever had. And I, so I was just getting hammered on the flight. And anyway, she was nice. I got a plane story I need your guys' opinion on. Okay. So I got on a plane. I was like the last person to board. Mm-hmm.

I was in comfort plus because I didn't want to pay for the first class seat because it was a two-hour flight. So I go back to comfort plus. All the bins are closed, right? And I start opening up. I've got a backpack and a laptop bag. I start opening up the bins because I'm going to find a little spot. This lady goes, sir.

If the bins are closed, that means there's no room left. This was someone who wasn't like a flight attendant or anything? No, just random person. Oh, killer. Killer. She said, sir. Burn the witch. So hold on. So then I turned to my left. I said, ma'am. I tried to be nice, ma'am. I usually can find a spot here or there. And she's like, well, the flight attendant said that there's no more room left. My God. My blood immediately starts boiling. And I turn around. Everybody's eyes on me because I'm the last person. Yeah.

I turn around and said, "Oh, that's great. Why don't you mind your own damn business?" Nice. Yeah. That's good. Right? That's good. Did some people... Some people didn't like that. Some people, being her husband, didn't like that very much. Whoa! What? This is fun. And he turned around and he goes,

"Hey pal, you better watch it." Which is white guy for I'm about to fuck you up. You can't talk to her like that. Yeah, exactly. Flight attendants are starting to come back because they sense a disturbance in the cabin. And I fucking, I'm like shit, I'm gonna be on like a YouTube video, Austin show assaults. You know? So I open up the bin.

right above him, shove my laptop and my backpack in and slam it. And I said, okay. And I get in my seat, turn on my noise canceling headphones. Dreamweaver. You know?

And that's it. - Dude, that's excellent. - What do you think? Do you think I was in the right? - Oh, I bet he was steaming the rest of the flight. He couldn't think about anything but you. - No, and his kids were with him and I was planning, the whole flight I was looking at the back of his head just thinking about what I was gonna say to him. He had his kids with him. And I felt like just, you just gotta be demeaning. - Oh yeah. - Like if he came back to me and tried to say something, I'd be like, "Oh come on, not in front of the kids." - Come on. - You take the high road, you're like, "There's children here, there's children here, I appreciate it." - He'd be like, "Hey," I'd be like, "That's sweet.

Let's get over it. Yeah. Come on, get on, go on your vacation. So, so it wasn't him. You for the rest of the flight were shadow boxing this dude. Yeah. And people, you were like, Oh man, if he comes back, I was, I was, I was prepared. Nobody. I was the enemy of the flight though.

Nobody likes nobody liked me because they interpreted her as being helpful I guess it really your tone made it seem like she was like what was her true tone? What is she white knighting for Delta? I don't know. I think she was she may have been trying to be helpful and I was just a dick but

I felt really good about it. I feel good about it too, especially if you, if the more witchy you make her sound, I feel like that makes me feel better. Oh yeah, she looked like a Karen. Do you like confrontation like that? Not really. It depends. I like it if I win. It depends. Like I shoulder checked a lady one time. It's always women. I'm sorry. I don't know. It's because they're trying to take the men from you. Well, yeah. So this woman like got up and, uh, to, uh,

you have to exit row by fucking row. Yeah. She gets up early. So I fucking body check. I didn't hit her, but like, I, I just moved my body in front of her. Yeah. And, uh, she didn't move past me. You won that one. I did. But do you like confrontation? I, I, when I was in sixth grade, I, uh, I just had this idea that like,

If you were walking straight and you were looking where you wanted to go and you made it clear that it looked like you were not going to move. Oh, dude, I do that now. You would just keep walking. Yeah, yeah. People will get out of your way. Dude, I do that now. But this is a problem. I was at a middle school and I was the youngest grade. So I was kind of small compared to the upperclassmen. And one day we're walking through the halls and I'm just walking.

And this girl walks like right into my shoulder. Yeah. And I'm still on the, I'm still on my heuristic, my belief, you know. And she bounces off of me like into the wall. Like an M ball. Drops some shit.

She like drops her books and shit and I just kept walking. At that point it's like, oh fuck. It turned into a thing where you were just walking and now you're escaping the scene of a crime. Oh my god, so you just let her just struggle? Yeah, it's like if you're pulling out of a parking lot and you ding someone's rear view mirror, you're like, whoops. That's not what you do.

You keep going. Oh, no. That's not what you do. I was at the San Diego airport like last week after TwitchCon and I watched a guy get up out of his chair and just slip and eat shit and all of his fries and drink and burger went everywhere. And I was like, should I help?

That's who's crossed over there. You should have come over there and just start grabbing it. I didn't. I didn't help him. Start snarling at him. But I was being, I was sitting there and you know when you're recognized by somebody at a different table and you know you're just being watched? How is Austin going to react? Yeah, I was like, fuck, should I go and help?

But I don't know. It doesn't pay to be a good person. No. You know? No, but I don't like confrontation unless I feel really empowered. Recently, some bitch tried to scam me. She was running a landscaping company. Yeah. And she throws another bill on top of what we already agreed to. And I call her and I say, what?

What is this? And you can tell when it's getting awkward, you can use silence to your advantage. Sure. Especially when you have the perceived upper hand. Yeah. And so we go back and forth. I was very short with my responses. And then at some point she starts stuttering and I'm just like, oh. Yeah, because you could rescue her. I could. Well, I could say, oh yeah, yeah, sure. I'll help. I'll help pay this. Yeah. I got out of it scot-free.

Did you, you didn't hire again, did you? No, no, of course not. No, I, I, uh, I, I don't like confrontation. Sometimes I'll, I'm prepared for certain types of people though. Like people that are in public and there's a lot of people around and they feel like they're personally inconvenienced by just life. Yeah. You know what I mean? Yeah. Yeah.

Oh, Hassan just walked in. That's how you know. Hassan just walked in the room. Yeah, look like a million bucks. Is that it? Of course. I bet his episode will do better than mine. Yep.

Yeah. Well, I mean, should we just wrap it up here? Yeah, sure, we'll wrap it up. Yeah. I'm sorry. I fucked up the entire episode. No, it's okay, man. It's okay. It's okay. Ted kind of fucked it up. No, I didn't do anything. It was my neighbor who texted the manager. It was mostly because of you. I think that there's a fire. Okay, and then you got all upset. We were really throwing... I'm sorry that I have an aversion to my apartment being on fire, Schlatt. I apologize. What happened to Roll With The Punches, man?

I agree with that. Not rolling with the flames. Ted, what happened to "yes and"? You were like, "No, but my apartment's on fire." Mm-hmm. Damn. Yes, and I'm going to send Emma to go check on my apartment. What was she going to do if it was on fire? She was gonna put it out. She was gonna put it out. Also, she's your wife. Why did you just let her go into a fire? Employee. Employee. Employee. She did sign the contract. Do you have workman's comp?

Workman's comp? For this shoot, yes. Workwoman's comp. For this shoot, we do. We do, technically, for this shoot. Are we doing the sandwich question? Oh, yeah. I mean, what do you want to add to it?

No fucking way. You want to add like... I hated that segment. Well, so... I hated that fucking segment. The what part of the sandwich are you? Yeah, they're like, oh, what part of the sandwich are you? I don't know. Fucking... I'm the fucking bread. I'm the fucking tomato. No, no. I'm the cum part of the sandwich. Fucking bacon. You have to choose one. Would you rather have unlimited bacon? Uh-huh. Or? But no more games. Or... Uh-huh. Games.

Unlimited games. Uh-huh. No more bacon? But no games. What? Have you never been asked this before? No. You've been on here three times. This is the third time you've known me. You've surely, you've surely. This is my second time. Really? Yeah. Oh. But the last time was so good, you thought I'd been on here more. Oh.

Yeah, no, I mean, I'm so nervous cuz Hassan's in the room. He's listening to me and I can hear him squeaking around He's walking behind making yourself as known as he's making me so fucking he's like he's like he walks in like he's a fucking millionaire I guess he is. Oh, that was embarrassing. Oh god, look at his shoe and he dropped his class. What's gonna be one saw limited games. No, I

No bacon, bacon, unlimited bacon, but no games? But bacon? He's being incredibly crystal clear about it. I'm trying to skirt past his response here. Bacon, bacon, unlimited, no games, bacon. Unlimited bacon. Are you okay? Are you having a stroke? No, maybe. No, he answered it. I got a flight ticket. Yeah, you do. He's taking the bacon. Here's a follow-up question to that.

Since you fly so much, you've been flying Delta all lately? Yeah, I have been. In the safety video, it sounds like they're saying, welcome a boy at the beginning. Have you noticed that? I don't listen to the safety video. Listen to it. Are you flying Delta today? Yeah. Listen to the safety video. Who listens to the fucking safety video? Look at me. Look at me. Ted, I got news for you. Look at me. If you enter any of those situations, you're not going to make it. No, look.

Look at me. You know what I mean? A water landing? Are you fucking kidding me? I'm telling you. You're not going to fucking make it, Ted. I'm telling you. It's over. When they play the safety video, you're going to look over. You listen to the guy. He comes and he's supposed to say, welcome aboard. He 100% sounds like he's saying, welcome aboard. I'm going to listen for that. Last time the plane landed on the water, they didn't even think they were going to make it.

Yeah, solely captain solely. Yeah, solely Hudson River. Yeah. Yeah, I do have a fantasy of if like both pilots die me saving the plane Oh, I think I think any man I would love that and I'd be on the I'd be as an air traffic controller That's a thing. This is one of my this is one of my type five

That's a thing that was like a TikTok trend for a bit where women would text their guy friends and would be like, if you had to land a plane, do you think you could do it? Yes. And like 95% of them are like, well, if I was on the speaker with air traffic control, I could probably figure it out. I could do it. You know? For sure. I would do it without. Dude, I don't know. You go in there and you see the amount of switches that are in that. I'd be ready. I'd be like, I'd use my stage name.

I'd say, Los Angeles Center, this is Austin's show. Unfortunately, both of our pilots are incapacitated, and I'm the only one capable of landing this jet. And I'd be like super, I'd be ready for interviews. I'd take every interview. Jimmy Fallon. I like how assumptive that is of you, that you would survive. I would definitely survive. Do you know his history? Yeah. Like he...

Use a I used to oh I could land a plane for sure It spanned on the history then a full motion. I've trained in flight simulators like training simulators. Have you flown a plane? No, it's close enough. It's closer They're identical to the real this is probably the most like deadpan serious way You could have said that you use Microsoft flights and no no different. No, I rented a 30 million dollar simulator for a day. Oh

Yeah, I've got at least 15 hours in it. You have 15 hours in a simulator? For a jet? Ted, I showed up to the simulator, all the screens were black, I took the plane from that state through every stage of flight without any assistance. Were you taught about it beforehand? Yes, from Microsoft Flight Simulator. There it is. Thanks so much for watching this episode of Chuckle Sandwich, guys. Be sure to follow Austin.

all his little spots. He's going live in a couple months. That's right. If you want to see his abs, make sure to subscribe to his fanzly. Really? Yeah, if you want to see his... You're showing full frontal? No, not yet. No full frontal, but ab city. Austin show fanzly. Oh yeah, there it is. Put it up on there.

Oh yeah, look at that. Let's see. Welcome to my fan- what I want to read was, welcome to my fansly. Here you'll find pictures and videos of me post-workout, progress photos, me in my day-to-day life, and also some photos of the more... artistic variety. $9 a month. And save for work. So you're telling me that someone could open up your fansly at their office job in their cubicle and that would be okay? Uh, probably not. It's a little too sexy. Okay. It's a pleasure having you on the show. Thanks for coming on. It's a pleasure being on this show.

Thank you so much for having me. Thanks for making time for us. I really appreciate it. No, of course. I'm going to miss my flight. All right. See you guys later in the next episode. Peace and goodbye.

Bye.

We'll be right back.

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