Rules For Life: Michael Speaks with Eduard Habsburg-Lothringen
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It is Theology Thursday, and I am so pleased

to be joined by my friend, the Hungarian ambassador to the Holy See and the Sovereign Order of Malta, Archduke Edward Habsburg. Edward, thank you for being here. Thank you for having me on the show.

Edward, your first book, you came on to discuss The Habsburg Way. I thought it was an absolutely marvelous book. I have multiple copies of it in my home library. That way I can offer it to people. If they come by, they can get a little bit of advice. And it was largely about your family, the history of the Habsburgs, and how the Habsburgs were able to become an illustrious family and a flourishing family, and a little bit of advice that maybe people might be able to glean from it.

today. Your new book, Building a Wholesome Family in a Broken World, which everyone should stop what they're doing, pull over, whatever you're doing, go order it right now. It is superb. Building a Wholesome Family in a Broken World.

It's a little bit more direct. It's a little less, there's some family biography in there too, autobiography in there too, but it is much blunter. It is, hey, guy, you know, it's reaching out, shaking people by the shoulders and saying, this is how you do it. You're confused. You don't know what to do. It's a confusing time. Here is how you build a family. Because as you point out, the family is the little society. The family is the fundamental unit of politics. So Edward, what's your advice?

Well, first of all, in script writing, I was a script writer for a while. They say, write what you know. So I thought I'd write about what I know and what I knew for the last about 30 years or

was family, lots of children and a happy, fulfilling marriage. And then I look around and I see that this is not what happens everywhere. It's not exactly the normal way nowadays. Most people have changing relationships, don't have children, don't even find a good spouse and go about it all the wrong way at least. And what I'm trying to do in my book is to give you a bit of advice for that.

peppered with Habsburg stories from the centuries, but it's mostly my experiences in the family and how to go about it, how to find a good spouse. I have a bucket list, a checklist, how to check off that girl or that guy before you decide to get engaged. It's a breezy little read. I think you can read it rather fast.

And I'm repeating things that were absolutely known to everybody for the last 2,000, nay 10,000 years, but have suddenly fallen out of favor somewhere after the 60s. So I'm afraid Habsburg has to step up and talk about it. You mentioned that you're a former script writer, and I think, I don't know my history perfectly, I think you might be the only Habsburg that's ever written a zombie movie. Is that right? I suppose I am.

I suppose I am. Unfortunately, it was never produced. But if you have half an hour, I can tell you the plot. That's very good. Maybe we can get to that after the slightly more urgent matter of how people find a spouse, have a good family. People write into my show all the time. It might be the most frequent question I get.

How do I date? How do I meet somebody? They say, I'm on the dating apps and I'm not doing well on the dating apps on my phone or I don't want to be on the dating apps. So how do I meet a spouse? How do I know if my spouse is the right one? How do I balance work and personal life? When do I know if I'm ready to have children? How many children should I have? Should I date? Should I go have a career before? So...

Amid all that confusion with which you're certainly familiar, at least from a distance, what do you tell them? Well, I tell them go about it the old-fashioned way. I tell them teach your children before they even enter the dating market that they shouldn't go for one relationship after the other and also intimate relationships.

but to put all your money on red. Make one big shot for a lifelong, happy, fulfilling marriage. And in order to do that, you have to set a few stops before you even get closer engaged to a potential spouse. And you have to really use your brain. You have to use your brain. And in my book, I have a series of five tips

points that you, but I have to stop here. Most people tell me, I don't even know where to find someone who might be a potential spouse, as you said, on my dating apps. And it's right. If you want to have a long, fulfilling, happy marriage, you're looking for someone very special and you probably won't find him in the pub around the corner or on some frivolous dating app.

But what you're shooting for is someone who shares your values, who shares your faith, who shares your idea of family, who is chaste. I'm using the word chastity quite a lot. You know the joke, two friends meet and one of them says, I've got exciting news for you. I made a vow of chastity, obedience and poverty. And the other one says, ah, you're getting married. So what I'm saying is,

You should look for someone really special and that someone really special is not in the first meaning someone hot and attractive, but someone you can spend an entire life with.

And so first criterion, you have to check whether the other person shares your faith. I'm not talking about having been baptized in the Catholic faith. I'm talking about God is a center of my life. My prayer life is a center of my life. That's the kind of person you're looking for.

Because without faith, I have no clue how somebody would master all the complicated, difficult things that happened during a long life of marriage with children.

So faith. The second point is family. You have to understand whether the other person is ready to have a big family. And that's the core message of my book is in my first book I wrote, get married and have lots of children. I think that is the greatest healing power for our society. For all the complications we have in our dating life, we need families with lots of children.

Just so that people can for once in their life encounter a numerous family. You only meet families with one to two and two and a half maximum children in publicity, in movies, in series, wherever. You should meet families with five, six, seven children.

The joy of being with such a family is so great. It was that experience for me as a child that let me believe I want to have a big family one day. But the other thing is that if you have lots of children, it's the greatest gift the spouses can give each other. It's the greatest gift you can give to the children. A big family will get you strength for your life. You learn all the virtues that you need for life just by being a big family.

And it will heal society. I profoundly believe that a society built on the bricks of numerous family is a more just, more merciful, more compassionate society. And so, yeah, so you want to check whether the other person is ready for a big family. And a big family means sacrifices.

It means you might not be able to have an apartment in the swank part of town. It means you might not have that cool job that you want because you have to live somewhere where you can afford to have a big family. It also means very old-fashioned, very reactionary,

That is probably a good idea that at least one of the parents, ideally the mother, remains at home. At least when the children are small. Now people immediately say impossible, impossible, impossible. You can't even afford a family if even one of the parents stays at home. I don't think that's true. We live in the most prosperous and secure society ever and we can't afford children? I can't believe it.

A great, that's a great point. You know, sure, there is a disparity of wealth. There are people who have zillions of dollars and others who, you know, they worry about their bills. But by historical standards, basically everyone today is extraordinarily rich. So if people 100 or 50 or 40 years ago were able to have money,

five, six, seven children. Why can't you? You say in the book that this is the first way to instill family values in the kids is just to have a large family. You're beginning with the family value from the moment that your kids really become conscious.

I think that's such a beautiful idea, especially the idea of the family as the little society, as the microcosm of all of society. So the chastity is going to be hard for people because there's a hookup culture and everybody sleeps around, you know, from the age of like 13 or something. I don't know. You know, it gets younger and younger, specifically with public school. So how do you deal with chastity or people who have not been chaste?

On the point of schooling, what do we do? Do you send your kids to a public school or to a private school if you can afford it? Do you do the H word? Do you homeschool? You know, even these elementary steps, how do you get started? Well, you'll have to read my book. I won't give away all the secrets, so they won't read the book. No, kidding. So the C word, chastity, it's possible. It's possible. First of all, it's possible to live a chaste life.

It is true that it is the hardest time to do so because we are bombarded with sexual imagery, with pornography. It's never been so easy to be unchaste. As you said, there is a hookup culture and

But I give some ideas in the book how you should go about that. And if you haven't lived chastely, and unfortunately, that is the case for many people, because most people begin to have relationships in school and then go on and have several and break them off and begin a new one and break them off and begin a new one. With every such step, your ability to form a lifelong happy marriage becomes smaller and smaller. That's my theory. But it's not impossible. And of course, here we go back to my point number one, through faith.

through faith, through prayer, through an open communication. Before you get engaged, you should speak openly about that and you should have the wish through your prayer life

to change your life in the sector of chastity because you need to be chaste in order to have a lifelong, fulfilled life. What I say is chastity is not no sex. Chastity is sex where it belongs. And it belongs to marriage, very definitely, but it belongs to marriage with an openness to life. It's all built in a beautiful way by God. Now, you asked about the school thing.

I'm in the wonderful situation that I experienced public school and we also homeschooled over several times of our life. So I know both of these worlds. If you find a public school or a private school, if you can afford it, that brings your children the values that you have at home, good on you.

I think it has become far more difficult nowadays. And if there is a chapter in my book, which I call the Habsburgs as homeschoolers, it's fun because if you read the classes, the systems, the Habsburgs taught their children at home since the 16th, 17th century, then you see that they're very close to what we call homeschooling today.

And for my children, the experience of homeschooling was wonderful. I never had children on such a high level of education than when we homeschooled. And yes, I've got quite a few passages on homeschooling in my book.

That may not be for everybody. And again, perhaps you're lucky enough, but don't count on it. Don't make the terrible mistake of sending your children off to school and handing over education to a public school because in any case in today's society, you are throwing them into a pool where there are sharks.

But again, if you have siblings at home and a numerous family, you know that your peer group is at home. You know who will have your back and you can always compare what they tell you at school to what you hear at home. I can attest to this because, Edward, I haven't met all of your children, but I did happen to run into your daughter on the streets of London one time.

And we were chatting. And then I found out that she was your daughter. And she was lovely, obviously conversational, well-adjusted, well-informed, all of these wonderful things. And I should have known that she was homeschooled because it used to be the case that people would say, oh, the homeschoolers, they're not going to be socialized. They're going to be weird. They're going to be awkward. And if you send them to public school, then your children are going to be socialized. But you think...

Why would anyone want to be normalized and socialized into our current society today? Actually, you do. Given our present society, you want to be the weird one because that's going to make you normal by objective standards.

Yes. So often I hear from, you know, cousins of mine, friends of mine, a generation of people I went out with. They're good Catholics. Faith was important for them. And they're losing all their children. All their children are leaving the faith, are not living a faithful life, are sleeping around, things like that. And you realize it's a different world from when we went to school.

It's really, really different. So, you are in a very strong responsibility. But again, having a numerous family,

automatically settles a number of things for you. You don't have to explain everything because you learn through your skin that you're not the center of the universe, that you're not entitled to the latest iPhone model, that the family perhaps can afford only one computer screen and not seven or eight or nine. All these things you learn in a numerous family without the parents even having to do something about it. It's a beautiful point. There are many other beautiful lessons in the book. Truly, as you listen now,

type into Amazon or wherever you get your books, Building a Wholesome Family in a Broken World by Archduke Edward Habsburg. Edward, I know that, you know, writing is sort of your side gig. Your day job is that you are an ambassador. I know you have events to get to. So thank you. Sorry, I kept you a little bit late. Thank you for the magnificent book. And I look forward to seeing you the next time that you're in America or I'm in Hungary or Rome. Thank you. Thank you. God bless. Bye-bye.

And thank you to all of you. I'm Michael Knowles. This is The Michael Knowles Show. See you tomorrow.

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