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You know that one good tank top that you wear like all year round? I mean it fits you just right so you wear it all the time but maybe now it's getting a little old. Shifting my wardrobe from summer to fall is always a challenge. Luckily, Quince offers timeless and high quality items that I
I love so I can make sure my wardrobe stays fresh and I don't blow my budget. They've got cashmere sweaters from $50, pants for every occasion, washable silk tops. And my favorite part, all Quince items are priced 50 to 80% less than similar brands. By partnering directly with top factories, Quince cuts out the cost of the middleman
and passes the savings on to us. And Quince only works with factories that use safe, ethical, and responsible manufacturing practices and premium fabrics and finishes. I recently got this 100% European linen short sleeve shirt. Ooh, I love linen. And you know, it was so comfortable, so cute. I can finally retire my old ratty tank top.
RIP. Make switching seasons a breeze with Quince's high quality closet essentials. Go to quince.com slash dark history for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. That's quince, Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash dark history to get free shipping and 365 day returns. quince.com slash dark history.
This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Most of you listening right now are probably multitasking. Yep, while you're listening to me talk, you're probably also driving, cleaning, exercising, or maybe even grocery shopping. But if you're not in some kind of moving vehicle, there's something else you could be doing right now. Getting an auto quote from Progressive Insurance.
It's easy and you can save money by doing it from your phone. Drivers who save by switching to Progressive save nearly $750 on average. And auto customers qualify for an average of seven discounts. Discounts for having multiple vehicles on your policy, being a homeowner and more.
So just like your favorite podcast, Progressive will be with you 24-7, 365 days a year, so you're protected no matter what. Multitask right now. Quote your car insurance at Progressive.com to join the over 28 million drivers who trust Progressive.
The story of the dildo is one of the more wild episodes I've done for Dark History, and that's why I'm airing this one once again. Dildos have been around for 30,000 years. So yeah, this story has everything. The Greeks lubing up their sex toys with olive oil, homesteading,
Hot. A Roman doctor named Soranus. And a guy named Granville who invented the vibrator, but said it was only for men and their taint. Mm-hmm. Many people throughout history have been anti-dildo, but there's a reason why 60 million sex toys are sold every single year, right? So, let's run this one back. Womp, womp, womp, womp, womp, womp.
Hi friends, I hope you're having a wonderful day today. My name is Bailey Sarian and I'd like to welcome you to my podcast, Dark History. This is a chance to tell the story like it is and to share the history of stuff we would like honestly never think about. That's like the whole like, you know what the season goal is. So what I want you to do is just sit back, relax, and let's talk about that hot, juicy history, God.
Okay, so I already opened up my dark history book over here to chapter dildo. Let me tell you how I got here. 'Cause in the intro, I like to like explain how I arrived to today's topic.
'Cause sometimes it's just random. It's like, Bailey, how did we get here? So let me tell you. I was shopping the other day, okay? I just needed a couple of things. You know, I need some candy, I need some booze, I need some tampons, beep bop boop. I'm going down the lady aisle at something that rhymed with Yargit. So while I was looking at the tampons and all that great fun stuff we love so much, I spot something I've never seen before in the aisle. A mythical creature, something called
A vibrator or a vibrator. I was like, "Ah, would you look at that?" I guess I've been conditioned to think that a vibrator belongs in a sex store. You know, like why is this here? Why don't people just go buy a vibrating toothbrush like the rest of us did? I saw it and I was just like blushing and I was just so embarrassed. I was like, "Oh my God, a vibrator?" Like, "Ah." I was acting like a 12 year olds. And then I caught myself and I was like, "Hey Bailey, wait a minute. Isn't this what we want? Isn't this...
A good thing? Vibrators being accessible. Then, after a few moments of clarity, I was like, "Yes, make vibrators accessible to everyone." Because honestly, it's the only thing we got going for us right now. Like, just keep that thing charged up and close by, okay? If you don't know, I'm one of those people who talks to herself out loud.
So I'm like thinking like, I wonder if they masturbated in the olden days. Maybe they used wooden sticks or something, bananas, I don't know. And I'm Bailey and when I have a question or I'm curious about something and don't know the answer, I start Googling. Hey Google, did women in the 1700s use dildos? The results, they were a little sloppy. But boy, did this lead me down a wild path because let me tell you something.
You see, before the wheel was even invented, the people were riding something else. Dildos. No lie. Dildos have been around long before Jesus. Oh yes. So, I have my dark history book open to chapter dildo. And we're gonna jump in. Where did the dildo come from?
I wanna know. So back around the year 30,000 BC, that's before Christ, if you don't know, the people who lived in what is now considered Germany were taking rocks and making them into very interesting shapes. What kind of shapes? Well, long, hard ones. And some scientists guessed
that these big long rocks were used to make fire, like flint. You could bash these rocks against other stones to make sparks and then it would create fire. But some other historians came along and were like, let's not overcomplicate this. It's possible they were using them to take
"The Bullet Train to Pleasure Town." "There were ancient dildos found from 30,000 BC." Huh, I was just thinking like, that'd be cool to have like some ancient dick in you. Kinda cool. So the ancient Germans, they were very crafty with what they made their dildos out of. Some of them were made of bone, ivory, limestone, and there were even some dildos made of teeth. I tried to find a picture of that one. I had no luck because I wanted to know
like how did that look? Some of these dildos had piercings. Oh yeah way back when they had piercings to the tip. Some of them had tattoos on the shafts. I mean back then they were, I don't want to say they were advanced but I guess they were. They're more open-minded. It wasn't just happening in ancient Germany. Nay nay. They pop up
pun intended. In ancient Pakistan, China, Turkey, India, I mean all over the world, they were also a big part of ancient Egyptian mythology. The ancient Egyptians used to honor Osiris, the god of fertility, by wearing a belt with their version of a dildo. So the myth says that Osiris was killed and sliced into a bunch of pieces and his wife Isis was just devastated. So she tries to
put all the pieces back together to bring her Boo Bear back to life. And she ends up doing it and she's like, yay. But one thing that's missing and the one thing she also loved the most is penis. Kind of important in a husband. So
She gets crafty, Isis does, and she starts searching all around her and she's like, "Osiris, babe, I'm gonna give you back your dick. Don't worry." And she does. After that, the two have a son together and live happily ever after. To them, you could say the dildo is sacred, but it's the ancient Greeks who really ran with the concept of dildos. In fact, they basically invented sex toys. The Greeks were wild. They liked to party.
Oh yeah, we missed out. We were born in the wrong era, Paul. So around the year 500 BC, dildos showed up in ancient Greece. They were made out of leather, brass. This one's a little bizarre. They made dildos out of like loaves of bread. Yeah, sounds like a yeast infection to me.
Thank you. I'm here all day. Greeks even invented lube when they started using olive oil to soften their fancy leather dildos. So it makes sense that the Greeks had like a pretty progressive view of sex. I mean, they thought it was like super important to have a healthy sex life and a good way to cure some ailments was by having more orgasms, which hell yeah. Plato, Aristocles,
Aristotle and other famous Greek philosophers believed that a neglected uterus was a sad uterus. And ain't nobody want a sad uterus. Now this ended up being a core belief for women's health in ancient Greece. Some doctors were even known to recommend maenad rituals. Maenads were followers of the god Bacchus.
the Greek god of wine and sex. So you can maybe guess a maenad ritual was basically a big old orgy. Wine and sex and grape leaves were just everywhere. And yeah, the ancient Greeks knew how to party. Dildos were pretty mainstream and women were allowed to be openly sexual. In arts and culture, sex toys were pretty present and openly talked about in plays. They were put on pottery and paintings and they just did a lot with it.
So, go Greek. Well, ancient Romans, they were the ones who didn't really like dildos. Let's be honest here, they didn't like anything. They didn't like dildos, they didn't like people having orgasms. They viewed orgasms as a form of epilepsy that could easily turn into other diseases or leave you vulnerable to other diseases. And in the second century AD, a Roman doctor, his name was Sor Anus,
Yeah, I don't even need to say anything about that. That's a joke in itself. And Sorianus over here, he really ruins everything for everyone. Sorianus said that women's health problems come from, quote, the toils of procreation, aka sex, and that women could recover
recover by practicing abstinence. So fun fact, some sources credit Soranus with being the founder of scientific gynecology, which is kind of odd because he didn't believe women should even have sex. So that's, I think we're off to a rough start there, but okay.
cool soreness. So yeah, Romans didn't believe in having fun with dildos. In fact, the few times dildos show up in ancient Roman culture was in like deflowering ceremonies where women who were about to be married, they were forced to stick a stone dildo inside of them so that they would lose their V card to a certain Roman god.
So like, yeah, that's kind of gross. Like you're giving your virginity to this Roman God. Like what's he going to do with it? But unfortunately, Soranus, his views on sex and how women shouldn't be having it become very popular in the middle ages. Oh yes, they do. In the 1200s, an Italian priest named Thomas Aquinas heard this theory.
And let me tell ya, he was like obsessed. Thomas was a big fan of Aristotle's belief that a woman was a failed man because of their sins. He's like, "Hell yeah, brother." But I need a second to think about that.
A woman is a failed man. I don't need a second to think about that. I believe they believe that. But because Thomas is a priest, he gets religious with it. And this is when sex and sexual pleasure, anything that isn't about making a baby becomes sinful. So he's actually the reason why priests and nuns are not allowed to have sex or get married, which is wild, right? But where there's a will, there's a way.
Supply and demand, baby. Everyone was looking for something to stick up their lady parts. And then by the 1400s, Italy, oh, they really step up their game and they become the number one exporter of dildos. And interesting fact, some believe that the world dildo actually comes from the Italian word, diledo,
which means a woman's delight. I mean, they got the cars, the art, the fashion, the pizza. Now they got the dildos. It's like, what don't the Italians do amazingly? So there's this guy, his name is John Wilmot. I don't think it matters, but shout out to you, John, because he helped make these Italian models
of the dildos extremely popular when he mass exported them to England for his quote unquote ballers club. It was a sexual society.
So this club is dedicated to drinking, dancing, and just being naked. So balls, ballers club, dildo, it kind of like it's the trifecta of fun. That's what they were going for. So John was such a fan of the dildo himself. So he wrote a popular poem called "Signore Dildo."
AKA Mr. Dildo, which was basically about how these Italian dildos were better at satisfying women than Englishmen were. It was like a flex. But these Italian dildos were different from the ones we know and love today. A lot of them were hollow. They were like a hollow glass tube that you could fill up with warm water, milk, or even pee, which was an option. It was an interesting choice. And you're probably thinking, well, why warm liquid?
Well, that's a great question, Paul. I hear you. The Italians, they were very, they liked realistic shit, you know, and they wanted something to imitate ejaculation with pee. Yeah. You know, I'm not here to kink shame. Okay. That's what they did.
Good for them. Anyway, the glass dildo, it was very bougie, very luxurious, very high-end, very expensive, and only available to the rich people per yosh. These were actually covered in like a soft material. They'd wrap it in like white velvet or silk. It was just looking super luxe.
So these were so popular, these glass dildos, that sometimes rich women would travel outside of their own country, go to Italy, stack up on these dildos, you know, and come back home. A sexy little souvenir. So naturally when we like something, we talk about it. And these dildos became the talk of the town. And other countries were like, hey,
We keep hearing about these dildo thingies, like we want in on this. So people all over Europe started making and selling their own dildos. And in France, they experimented with like a bunch of different versions. They made a safer option, which was made out of hard rubber. Doesn't sound that safe, but okay. So there's a famous brothel in France and the woman who owned it, her name was Madame Gordon, and she started actually selling her own line
of dildos. Oh yeah, like iconic. And it became extremely popular. She called them consoliders, which means something to console you.
instead of a dildo. This kind of sounds nice. You know, cheer you up. And who was her biggest audience that needed extra cheering up? You'd be surprised to find out that it was actually nuns and priests. Not very true. After Madame Gordon died, they found hundreds of letters from members of the clergy asking for her special tools. I mean, I get the allure. Some of her models even had balls attached to them and the liquid would squeeze out of the dick
when you squeeze the balls. Interactive, innovative. She would have crushed it on Shark Tank. But people hated seeing this woman win. And in the late 17th century, law started popping up in Europe banning women from making dildos. Just women, just women only. If you were caught traveling with a dildo in your luggage, they had like their own version of TSA, right? So they would take that dildo and they would burn it in front of you. Like drama.
But thankfully, not every culture was as prude as they were. So let's hop on over to Japan for a second. So around the same time as those lady-haten laws in Europe, the Japanese were featuring dildos in their porn, which was called shunga. And shunga would depict women enthusiastically
buying and using dildos. Just having a good time. And in one Japanese erotic book from the 1680s, a picture shows the ideal bedroom, which had like velvet drapes, a big ass bed. There's maybe like a jar of sweets.
you know, a little chagrette. And then you would see like the dildo, but there wasn't just one dildo, there were dildos everywhere, just room decor. In Shunga, women are shown as extremely sexual, even aggressive. So the Japanese, just like the Greeks, saw how useful, helpful, therapeutic, good for you dildos could actually be.
and fun. These show that the idea of women not only reading pornography but also being turned on and masturbating with a dildo existed in culture. Even though they started cracking down on sex toys in the 1700s, Shunga lived on in underground markets
and you know it's kind of interesting to see how sex played out in cultures that didn't have catholicism or christianity as the central religion. one japanese company even went on to create the most popular sex toy of all time. it's called the hitachi magic wand. but we will get back to that later. while things seem to be going okay for the dildo at this time, it's across the ocean.
You know that one good tank top that you wear like all year round? I mean, it fits you just right. So you wear it all the time, but maybe now it's getting a little old. Shifting my wardrobe from summer to fall is always a challenge. Luckily, Quince offers timeless and high quality items that I
love so I can make sure my wardrobe stays fresh and I don't blow my budget. They've got cashmere sweaters from $50, pants for every occasion, washable silk tops. And my favorite part, all Quince items are priced 50 to 80% less than similar brands. By partnering directly with top factories, Quince cuts out the cost of the middleman and pass
the savings on to us. And Quince only works with factories that use safe, ethical, and responsible manufacturing practices and premium fabrics and finishes. I recently got this 100% European linen short sleeve shirt. Ooh, I love linen. And you know, it was so comfortable, so cute. I can finally retire my old ratty tank top. Aw.
R.I.P. Make switching seasons a breeze with Quince's high quality closet essentials. Go to quince.com slash dark history for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. That's quince, Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash dark history to get free shipping and 365 day returns. quince.com slash dark history.
This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Most of you listening right now are probably multitasking. Yep, while you're listening to me talk, you're probably also driving, cleaning, exercising, or maybe even grocery shopping. But if you're not in some kind of moving vehicle, there's something else you could be doing right now. Getting an auto quote from Progressive Insurance.
It's easy and you can save money by doing it from your phone. Drivers who save by switching to Progressive save nearly $750 on average. And auto customers qualify for an average of seven discounts. Discounts for having multiple vehicles on your policy, being a homeowner and more.
So just like your favorite podcast, Progressive will be with you 24-7, 365 days a year, so you're protected no matter what. Multitask right now. Quote your car insurance at Progressive.com to join the over 28 million drivers who trust Progressive. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates. National average 12-month savings of $744 by new customer survey who saved with Progressive between June 2022 and May 2023. Potential savings will vary. Discounts not available in all states and situations. ♪
Welcome to the 1800s in the United States. When it came to all things sex, America was super repressed at this time. Good for us. You could order sex toys, but it was usually a mail order service and it was very...
Hush, hush, you know? You definitely weren't talking openly about your favorite dildo. And sex was so taboo, and still is, I guess, that even seeing an ad in a paper for a female condom or a dildo would set people off.
all the way off. And guess who had their underwear in a big old twist? The Young Men's Christian Association, aka the YMCA. Yeah, you may know them from the dance. The YMCA believed that people's morals were all out of whack in the cause. Porn and sex, of course. Especially sex toys like
The dildo. So, the YMCA, they're like, we want to make all this shit illegal. I'm talking the cock rings, the French ticklers, the dildos, the porn. I mean, all the way down to contraceptives and like condoms and diaphragms. How come men always want to be all up in our business? Why can't you just leave us alone to be happy? Why?
Why? The YMCA out of all things, like how did they get involved with dildos? Like it's just so random you guys. I think you guys are a little pervy. But the YMCA, they decide to team up with a man named Anthony Comstock. Now this man, Anthony Comstock, he was a big anti-fun activist. Just kidding. But he didn't fancy dildos and porn. And he didn't like the idea that it was available to the public.
So they decide to work together and think of a plan that's big and splashy that will get the government's attention and hopefully get the government on their side. Some of you, this is a side note. If you're listening at home, hi, I love you. How's it going? Great. Maybe you watched my murder mystery in makeup. Do you remember Anthony Comstock? I did a murder mystery in makeup about
Betty Page, do you remember? I love Betty Page, don't get me wrong, love Betty Page. But Anthony, he was involved with like her whole thing when she was trying to mail. It's just like such a small world is what I'm getting at, right? Like it seems like the same,
A handful of people are involved with everything, right? Okay, that's all I've noticed. Thank you, Paul, for backing me up on that one. Sometimes it's weird 'cause I'll ask a question out loud and then I remember that there's nobody here and I'm talking to myself. So when I don't hear an answer, I get all nervous. Like, wait, what?
Yeah, it's weird. Anyway, they go around these two, YMCA and Anthony and all that. They gather up all the dildos and porn that they can find. They put it all in a briefcase and carry it straight to Congress. They're like, look.
"Look at this!" Shaking the dildo. "Look at it! It's ruining society!" And apparently Congress was so scared of these dildos that they decided to pass a law, and it's called the Comstock Law. Remember Betty Page? You probably know. Great, love that. Check that out, maybe. Okay, great. And I guess Congress was impressed by Comstock's presentation, you know?
'cause they went along with it. So the Comstock law made it illegal to mail anything that was found to be filthy or thought to be quote unquote filthy. And they even give this guy Comstock a badge and like a special position at the post office just so he can go through people's mail to check for
nudes, porn, whatever the hell someone was trying to mail that was inappropriate. He also teamed up with local police and judges, giving them the ability to search everyone's mail as well. And what happens if you got caught shipping porn, sex toys, or even condoms? Well, you'd be fined anywhere from 100
$5,000 and one to 10 years of hard labor. Hide your kids, hide your wife, hide your dildo. I mean, they're coming for you. In just one year, Comstock confiscated over 60,000 pieces of quote unquote filthy mail, which got me thinking like, I wonder what he did with all those dildos. You know he had to keep a couple, come on. He probably had like a secret dildo closet or something.
I bet. - I bet, man. - Let's say someone did send a dildo in the mail. Now, wouldn't it just be the person who sent the mail that would get punished? Oh, nay nay. Let's say if you sent a dildo in the mail, Comstock would come and find you using the ad, 'cause you know, you put your address on the envelope.
and you would get in trouble, but not only that, the Comstock team would try to take down the company who manufactured or made the dildo as well. So you and dildo manufacturer are going down. Comstock wasn't following the money. He was like following the dildo. And honestly, like what was his end goal here? Like he was trying to be the Superman of dicks and like save everyone from the dicks. It just doesn't make sense. So much time was wasted on this when he probably could have done something productive.
Thanks to the Comstock law, dildos, porn, and sex toys were very dangerous to purchase. You could still buy dildos discreetly, but they were advertised using code words like, "Order it now, an old maid's friend." That's what they called it, an old maid's friend. But basically it was hard to get your hands on anything sexy, sexual in the 1800s. It was like, good luck.
You know that one good tank top that you wear like all year round? I mean, it fits you just right. So you wear it all the time, but maybe now it's getting a little old. Shifting my wardrobe from summer to fall is always a challenge. Luckily, Quince offers timeless and high quality items that I
love so I can make sure my wardrobe stays fresh and I don't blow my budget. They've got cashmere sweaters from $50, pants for every occasion, washable silk tops, and my favorite part, all Quince items are priced $50 to
80% less than similar brands. By partnering directly with top factories, Quince cuts out the cost of the middleman and passes the savings on to us. And Quince only works with factories that use safe, ethical, and responsible manufacturing practices and premium fabrics and finishes. I recently got this 100% European linen short sleeve shirt. Ooh!
I love linen and you know, it was so comfortable, so cute. I can finally retire my old ratty tank top.
R.I.P. Make switching seasons a breeze with Quince's high quality closet essentials. Go to quince.com slash dark history for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. That's quince, Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash dark history to get free shipping and 365 day returns. quince.com slash dark history.
This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Most of you listening right now are probably multitasking. Yep, while you're listening to me talk, you're probably also driving, cleaning, exercising, or maybe even grocery shopping. But if you're not in some kind of moving vehicle, there's something else you could be doing right now. Getting an auto quote from Progressive Insurance.
It's easy and you can save money by doing it from your phone. Drivers who save by switching to Progressive save nearly $750 on average. And auto customers qualify for an average of seven discounts. Discounts for having multiple vehicles on your policy, being a homeowner and more.
So just like your favorite podcast, Progressive will be with you 24-7, 365 days a year, so you're protected no matter what. Multitask right now. Quote your car insurance at Progressive.com to join the over 28 million drivers who trust Progressive.
Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates. National average 12-month savings of $744 by new customer surveyed who saved with Progressive between June 2022 and May 2023. Potential savings will vary. Discounts not available in all states and situations. Flash dark history.
Now we're going to get into dildos and vibrators. Before I go in any further, I'm going to give you the dictionary's definition for dildo, which is as follows. Dildo, an object shaped like an erect penis used for sexual stimulation. And the definition of a vibrator is a device used for massage or sexual stimulation, end quote. Simply put, like,
Dildo, no movement. Vibrator, Rambo. And why am I dropping this hot knowledge? Because not only are we gonna be chatting about the dildo, but now we're gonna welcome to the stage our dear friend who hums the loudest, the vibrator.
We're in the Victorian era, babe. Everyone during this time is uptight. Women are wearing corsets, layers on layers on layers. It was all about being a proper lady. And vibrators are coming onto the scene. They're new. They're hot. Now, you may have heard the story about how vibrators were actually created by male doctors to treat women with...
hysteria, which is a nice way to say women who people thought were crazy. And this specific story has been told and believed for a really, really long time. I mean, I thought that was true. Nobody questioned it. There are a lot of people recently who have been exposing this theory as wrong. Early on, one of the first vibrators were actually, it was actually steam powered, which
Could you even imagine? Nah, I couldn't. So tugboats and like trains were steam powered, but in order to get like your vibrator to work, you had to shovel coal into it. Come on, that's funny. But the inventor who really changed the vibrator game was a British doctor named J. Mortimer Granville. Mortimer? I love that name, Mortimer Granville.
Mortimer. Mortimer. Mortimer. Mortimer. He believed that the body had a natural, healthy level of vibration. So let's say like if your vibrations are off for any reason, this could leave your body vulnerable to diseases and yeah, you could get really sick. So his solution was to fix it with another vibration.
So this doctor invented his own solution and he called it Granville's Hammer. Yeah, which sounds intense, bro. This vibrator, uh, Granville's Hammer, could be used to cure stuff like constipation, diabetes, and even deafness. That's what he claimed. Eventually he created another better version and that looked like a baton
with like a long wooden handle and a vibrating motor. It almost looked like a kitchen mixer with just a bunch of different attachments. Very intimidating, very big, very loud. And I'm pretty sure your hand would go numb because of how intense it vibrated. Picture this, you wake up in the middle of the night, you can't sleep because there's a fucking bird outside your window who won't shut the fuck up.
up my god i can't sleep it's been days there is this bird outside in my window it keeps singing it won't stop 2 30 3 30 in the morning this bird and at first i was like wow this is so cute i feel like snow white
He won't stop. I cannot go to sleep. Okay, so imagine you're me and there's a fucking bird outside your window and you can't sleep and it's only been a week and you're like, you know what? I don't believe in like killing birds with a BB gun. But in this moment, I wouldn't mind that.
Talk about a weak ruiner. So what do you do? Well, instead of grabbing the BB gun, Bailey, instead grab Granville's hammer, which mind you looks like a fishing rod, but weighs about 50 pounds. So you gotta pick up that bad boy, hold it up to your ailment. For me, since I can't sleep, I would hold it up to like, to somewhere. It doesn't matter. You just hold it up to an area that hurts.
and let it vibrate it makes sense thanks Mortimer now I can go to bed but really you know they sold this as something that could help you if you got a toothache you could hold the Granville's hammer up to your tooth let it vibrate and it would help with the toothache but like people people get creative because honestly if you set it down and let's say you just happen to sit on it
And I think some people accidentally sat on it is what I'm getting at because Morty may have had a little hunch that people were using his invention sexually, especially since he suggested men who struggled getting hard that they should massage their taints with Granville's hammer.
wake him up a little bit. You good buddy? You good? You know, just like let it vibrate. Rumor has it, it feels really good. That's what one of the writers said. There's only one male writer. But here's a fun twist I bet you were not expecting. So this Dr. Mortimer, he hates women like everyone else does it seems because he goes to the public and tells people like, "Hey, this Grantsville hammer is for men
men only and should be used by only men. Now this would turn out to be great news for American women because Mortimer's little invention, it flies totally under the radar of that like annoying Comstock law. Because if there's one thing Americans are really good at, it's finding loopholes. Are we not good at that? I think we are, it's a talent. Now no one thinks the device is remotely sexual because according to Mortimer,
It was a medical device. It helped treat things. And people start selling this medical device everywhere, even to women. So joke's on you, Morty. They were being advertised as household appliances in newspapers, medical journals, Sears catalogs, Christian magazines. And of course, doctors were recommending them to their patients. So people were using the massage gun like on their noses to relieve sinus pressure.
That actually sounds really nice right now. I have so much sinus pressure. I'm gonna go home and put my dildo on my face, my vibrating dildo, just let it lay there. You know, that might feel good. So they would do that. They would use it on their feet for like a nice little foot massage.
They could put it up to your ear and they claimed that it helped with deafness or cured deafness. And then also it was marketed to women like if you use it in your thighs, like vibrate your thighs, you could lose weight. They were marketed as the perfect Christmas gift for your dad, for your grandpa, family friendly. Every household needs one. But again, like
It wasn't a vibrator, it was for your sinuses. You know what I'm saying? At the same time that you could get sentenced to 10 years hard labor or even fined $5,000 for sending a dildo in the mail to like your girlfriend or something, you could easily just flip open your Sears and Roebuck catalog, look up right under the appliance section and order yourself a vibrator. For your sinuses, of course.
which is crazy, right? Now I'm not sure how, but this definitely went under the radar. Maybe many just didn't care. I don't know. I wasn't there. But many think it was simply like a word of mouth thing. Like, you know, if you used it, you would probably go up to your friend and be like, "Hey, I accidentally sat on my husband's sinus vibrator thing." And like,
whoopsie it was amazing so they would tell their friends and then their friend would be like what really and then they'd run out and get it it just led to a big wink wink culture around these vibrating medical devices and then by the 1920s plug-in vibrators were selling like hotcakes babe a movie star at the time her name was mary anderson was a model she was like
a full on the first model for vibrator ads. Companies finally gave in and they were like, fine, women can use this.
for beauty and beauty only. You know they had to lean in and they believed like if you convince women it could be used to make yourself more beautiful of course they're gonna go out and buy it. So just when it sounds like okay we're making some progress we're making some progress here comes Uncle Sam to ruin the fun. Leave it up to the government. You know that one good tank top that you wear like all year round? I mean it fits you just right so you wear all the
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proving that people are ready to be or want to be a little bit more open about their sex lives. And that same year in 1953, a guy named Alfred Kinsey, he published research that proved 62% of American women masturbate. Scandal! Now this really opened a cultural dialogue about sex and people started talking about it.
and women were including it in their conversations. You know, we're making some progress, we could say. During the mid 1960s, a new dildo was born. Famous ventriloquist, which so random, I know. He went by the name Ted. He had a friend who asked him to help with his side hustle, which was like on the down low. He was making silicone dildos. Now at this time, the Comstock law is still in effect.
over 90 years later. So technically dildos were still illegal to make and sell, but this wasn't just a weird little business Ted had. He actually put a lot of thought into his dildos. Ted wanted his products to be exclusively marketed to women, so he did something unheard of. He actually asked women what they wanted for their dildos.
Who would have thought that asking might actually provide some answers? So he ended up holding like secret test groups for women where they could all come together and he would get to ask questions like, "Hey, do you like this material or this material? Do you like a fat dick or a skinny dick? Texture?
Warmilkenstein? I heard that's a thing. And because of listening to what his customers wanted, his creation became a huge hit and would end up selling like crazy. And then he came out with a banger. Next, he created this strap-on version of the dildo.
Oh yeah, so women could invite a partner into the mix. And this wasn't just about getting off in secret. Ted actually received countless letters thanking him for saving their marriage. Especially for men who suffered from medical conditions like erectile dysfunction. Dildos helped. Dildos helped.
More important, dildos saved their relationships. Dildos saved America, God damn it. So by this point, not only does society have to acknowledge that women are tickling their tuna, sauce on their taco, just as much as men, but in 1966, another important study comes out that will ultimately help dildos become more mainstream.
Once again, badass researchers, Virginia Masters and William Johnson study sex and orgasms in men and women. And they conclude that women may actually prefer masturbation to sex with a man. Yeah, I mean, there's all benefits to it. No negatives. You don't get attached to anybody. You don't have to worry about STDs. You don't have to worry about getting pregnant. You don't have to call them back. You don't have to awkwardly be like,
I'm gonna go now. You know, you just boom, bam, you're done. So after this finding, this is when women's sexual liberation and female- You know that one good tank top that you wear like all year round? I mean, it fits you just right. So you wear it all the time, but maybe now it's getting a little old.
Shifting my wardrobe from summer to fall is always a challenge. Luckily, Quince offers timeless and high quality items that I love so I can make sure my wardrobe stays fresh and I don't blow my budget. They've got cashmere sweaters from $50, pants for every occasion, washable silk tops, and my favorite part,
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R.I.P. Make switching seasons a breeze with Quince's high quality closet essentials. Go to quince.com slash dark history for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. That's quince, Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash dark history to get free shipping and 365 day returns. quince.com slash dark history.
This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Most of you listening right now are probably multitasking. Yep, while you're listening to me talk, you're probably also driving, cleaning, exercising, or maybe even grocery shopping. But if you're not in some kind of moving vehicle, there's something else you could be doing right now. Getting an auto quote from Progressive Insurance.
It's easy and you can save money by doing it from your phone. Drivers who save by switching to Progressive save nearly $750 on average. And auto customers qualify for an average of seven discounts. Discounts for having multiple vehicles on your policy, being a homeowner and more.
So just like your favorite podcast, Progressive will be with you 24-7, 365 days a year, so you're protected no matter what. Multitask right now. Quote your car insurance at Progressive.com to join the over 28 million drivers who trust Progressive. Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and Affiliates. National average 12-month savings of $744 by new customer survey who saved with Progressive between June 2022 and May 2023. Potential savings will vary. Discounts not available in all states and situations.
- Why? ZipRecruiter, the smartest way to hire. Now there is one woman in particular who felt seen by masters and Johnson's research. Her name is Betty Dodson. She was a young artist in New York and she had always felt guilty about preferring masturbation to sex with her husband. After her divorce, Betty began her journey of destigmatizing female masturbation. She used props like our good friend the dildo
or even brought along the vibrator to help women understand and celebrate their own bodies. Betty, she didn't want women to feel any type of shame like she had experienced when it came to having an orgasm. So she set out to make a difference. She led orgasm workshops out of her New York apartment. She used diagrams, mirrors, she brought in sex toys. She gave live demonstrations.
you know? And she's like showing women how to have the best orgasms. You might even recognize Betty's name. Maybe you heard of it. Maybe you even saw Betty Dotson do her version of the workshop on the Netflix show "Goop." They had an episode based on sex. A lot of people have mixed feelings about "Goop," but remove yourself from that
and just watch the sex episode 'cause Miss Betty's on there. Hey girl. Betty's workshops were revolutionary, especially because by the 60s and 70s, she achieved celebrity status and she was publicly saying things like, "If women could learn to pleasure themselves properly, they could end their sexual dependence on men, which would make everybody happy." I do feel like that's a little debatable.
I don't think the men would be so happy, but like, I think the women would be happy. Betty published a book called Sex for One, which celebrated masturbation and officially gave her the title of sexologist. And also she was given the title evangelist of self-pleasure. So Betty, she was very pro sex toy and her favorite of them all was something that wasn't even designed to be a sex toy at all.
Kinda like this whole episode, everything kinda wasn't designed to be a sex toy. That's how a sex toy is made. It wasn't made to be a sex toy. We just stick it up there and make it a sex toy. Remember that Japanese product I talked about earlier? Oh, if you don't, well this is when we're gonna talk about the Hitachi Magic Wand. Is that supposed to be-- Oh, Hitachi! Oh, Joan, you little ho! Joan has a Hitachi.
That's why you're so quiet. That's why I hear that humming coming from your room. I wish I had a Hitachi magic wand. I'd show you guys how it works. The Hitachi magic wand, just like Dr. Mortimer's hammer slash vibrator, was originally created to relieve sore muscles. Oh yeah.
Thanks to Miss Betty, it became the best selling vibrator of all time. I like to think that Mortimer would be rolling in his grave knowing that the vibrator he invented specifically for men is now giving women all around the world pleasure. Or maybe he was just a secret perv and this is what he wanted all along.
So, Betty, she died just a couple of years ago in 2020. And you know what? She reversed a lot of damage that was done to society by those three shitheads. Thomas Aquanis, or whatever the hell your name was. Soranus and Comstock. And she actually encouraged a whole generation of women to take matters into their own hands. Quite literally. Yeah, thanks, Betty. Betty! Betty!
trailblazer. Betty a winner. Betty you're amazing and I hope you rest in peace you little angel you. Thanks to her female orgasms, dildos, and sex toys like the vibrator are honestly way more mainstream. 60 million sex toys are sold every single year and one survey from 2022 even said that about 70% of Americans over the age of 18 have at least one sex toy.
- Oh, that's a big percentage. Go us. I'm out of breath. I'm just thinking about that Hitachi. Now back in 2017, it was said that only 65% of Americans owned a vibrator or a dildo or something. So what do you think happened? - I don't know. Maybe something happened where we were locked inside our houses.
Yeah, that was a stupid question, Bailey. One source said that the sales of sex toys in America, they jumped 75% since 2020. You know, I think during quarantine,
when we were like alone and stuff we just like really got to know ourselves during that time. At least for me I got to know Owen Gray real well. Very giving man that guy. But anyways there's actually research out there that suggests that masturbating may help you sleep better, prevent anxiety, and prevent depression, even improve your self-esteem. So remember those Greeks?
I think they were onto something here. It wasn't all about self-pleasure and having orgasms. It was also like just taking care of yourself. Dildos have been around for...
freaking over 3000 years. So again, I kind of think everybody was onto something here. Basically, as long as humans have been around, we like to stick stuff up in our holes. And I think honestly, many of us could agree that our dildos and slash or vibrators truly helped us get through that rough quarantine period. You could say that it helped treat
some people's depression. So maybe it really is a medical device, right? So I just want to take this moment to apologize to Jesus, grandma, my neighbor. It's not my fault that the walls are so damn thin and you can hear the humming all the time. I'm just depressed. Let me masturbate. God damn it. So knowing all this, right? Dildos, vibrations, orgasms are actually kind of good for you. You think we'd all just be riding that dildo wave into the sunset, just...
live in a happy, healthy, blissful life. But you wouldn't believe how much still has not changed. Surprisingly, dildos are still banned in certain states. Oh yeah. In Alabama, of course, are we surprised? I'm sorry, Alabama, but you kind of suck. If you get caught selling sex toys more than once, you could face up to 10 years in jail.
And until five years ago, you needed to have like a scientific or medical reason to buy a sex toy in some parts of Georgia. So naturally, I had to Google that, but I couldn't even find a clear answer on which medical reasons were approved for vibration use.
They didn't even have like an answer. People are just so like, what are you so mad about? You know, like this, we could be spending so much time doing something else, more productive, more better, but instead you're worried about vibrators and dildos. But I think my favorite law is that in certain parts of Texas, this one's a little weird. You cannot legally own more than six dildos. Yes, you heard that right. Six dildos. Five, you're good.
Seven? No, jail. So I should say that this was declared unconstitutional, but it's still technically a law in Texas. So you guys should work on that, Texas. Me and my seven dildos wanna come party in Texas, but like we can't. In conclusion, honestly, I just wanted to know what was up with dildos. You know, like how long have they been here? Why are they here? When, how, what? I wanted to know it all.
And boy, did it not disappoint. But I'm kind of bummed that whenever we think of dildos, we think of porn and sex toys and like just really sexual things when it actually has a lot more to it. I mean, people were using it as a cure back in the day, just like we did during quarantine. I say we, but what I really mean is I did.
But if I did, I know someone else out there did, you know? And I mean, there were so many times where dildos and vibrators have been outlawed or frowned upon and they still somehow made it through. So I think that says something. It's kind of like popcorn. Oh.
Popcorn and dildos, hand in hand. So treat yourself. Go out and buy yourself a new dildo or vibrator. It's good for you. Or maybe this Christmas, buy your mom and dad a vibrator and a dildo. And if they get mad, turn on this episode for them. Be like, "Shut up, mom. "You're so grumpy all the time. "Here's a dildo." Your mom's nice all of a sudden, and you're like, "Oh, wow. "Like, you just took a dildo. "That's all it took." You know, it might. Let me know how that goes. I'm curious. Well, everyone,
Thank you for learning with me today about dildos and vibrators. Remember, don't be afraid to ask questions and get the whole story because you deserve that.
Be curious, stay curious, and I'd love to hear your reactions to today's story. So make sure to use the hashtag dark history so I can follow along. And also join me over on my YouTube where you can watch these episodes on Thursday after the podcast airs. And while you're there, don't forget to check out my murder mystery and makeup. I hope you have a wonderful day today. And I'm going to go take my pants off and have a good time. I'll be talking to you next week. Goodbye. Bye.
Dark History is an Audioboom original. This podcast is executive produced by Bailey Sarian, Dunya McNeely from 3Arts, Kevin Grush, and Claire Turner. Writers, Joey Scavuzzo, Alison Falobos, Katie Burris, and me, Bailey Sarian. Shot and edited by Tafadzwa Nemarundwe and Lily Young.
research provided by Regina Dolza. And a big special thank you to our expert, Hallie Lieberman, sex and gender historian and author of " The Stimulating History of the Sex Toy." We love our experts. And I'm your host, Bailey Sarian. Hey, get your hands out of your pants, Paul.
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