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This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Most of you listening right now are probably multitasking. Yep, while you're listening to me talk, you're probably also driving, cleaning, exercising, or maybe even grocery shopping. But if you're not in some kind of moving vehicle, there's something else you could be doing right now. Getting an auto quote from Progressive Insurance.
It's easy and you can save money by doing it from your phone. Drivers who save by switching to Progressive save nearly $750 on average. And auto customers qualify for an average of seven discounts. Discounts for having multiple vehicles on your policy, being a homeowner and more.
So just like your favorite podcast, Progressive will be with you 24-7, 365 days a year, so you're protected no matter what. Multitask right now. Quote your car insurance at Progressive.com to join the over 28 million drivers who trust Progressive.
Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates. National average 12-month savings of $744 by new customer surveyed who saved with Progressive between June 2022 and May 2023. Potential savings will vary. Discounts not available in all states and situations. This is an ad by BetterHelp. What are your self-care non-negotiables? The things you know make you feel better even when it's impossible to make time for them.
Like that workout you try to squeeze in between kids' activities, work, and everything else you have going on, and before you know it, it gets pushed to tomorrow. Sound familiar? But it's the moments when you feel like you have no time for yourself when those non-negotiables are more important than ever. Those are the things that keep you strong, healthy, motivated, and prepared to take on everything life demands of you. So why not make therapy one of them?
BetterHelp Online Therapy makes it easy to get started with affordable phone, video, or live chat sessions you can do from anywhere, and the option to message your therapist between sessions if anything comes up. Never skip therapy day with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com slash darkhistory today to get 10% off your first month. That's betterhelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash darkhistory. ♪
Hey, how's it going? Hey, pay attention to me. You're not paying attention to me and I need you to focus. Because if you don't know, my name is Bailey Sarian.
And right now you are listening to my podcast, which is called Dark History. And if you're like, what's this? I've never heard of this before. Well, guess what? This is like my opportunity to share everything I've learned with you about some stuff that like you probably don't think about. I'm just a really curious person and I wanna know everything. So I figured I'd sit down on my nice little couch here with my friends and tell you about what I learned. And guess what? Today is real good, real hot, real juicy, also morbid, but it depends on how you look at it.
So listen, let me tell you how I got here. It wasn't that long ago when words used to mean something, you know? If you ever read like classic letters from the 1800s or classic books, ooh, ooh, ooh, I just finished The Crucible. Highly recommend.
Go get that shit. Anyways, but when you like read all that stuff or you have read all that stuff, you start to notice that people really cared about what they said. It was like a performance, right? For example, I got a quote here for you. Let me tell you what this is saying. I don't know where it's from. Behold, your beauty is as radiant as the midsummer sun. Your eyes are like doves. Your body is a delectable odyssey.
Stuff like that, you know? Today, we don't really have any words. We say stuff like, "I'm dead," or,
DTF? That's just sad. We're not very creative, are we? You know, the only people who can say they are dead are like maybe dead people. Fire, savage, slaps. Ooh, slaps. I hate that. That's slaps. Oh God. These words used to mean something. Take for instance, the word torture. I know it's out of left fields, but shut up. Let's all agree to stop using torture to mean something that is just kind of annoying. Like for example, the other day to call myself out,
I was like, oh my god, I went to the DMV today. It's torture. You and I both know what I mean by that, but back in the day, torture used to mean actual, like...
torture. And when it comes to thinking of ways to hurt people, honestly in the history we humans have come up with some wild and honestly pretty creative ways to do it. So when I was looking into the topic for today's episode, one specific torture device that caught my attention is something from medieval Europe called the armchair of inquiries. First of all, I
iconic name. I could not get over that. Much better than what my therapist calls the couch of confessions. Now this was a wooden chair, but not just any wooden chair, nay nay. The armchair of inquiries was special. The seat, backrest, and armrest were all covered in rows of sharp spikes. And we'll talk more later about how and why it was used, but
Like, man, who came up with that idea? I take some serious thought. It's just giving me real DIY vibes. Almost like someone went to Michael's for inspiration, was doing an arts and crafts project, loved the purple felt, glitter, and 27 steak knives to make this chair. Murder.
With assistance by Michaels. Not sponsored. Anyway, this device sent me down a deep, shocking rabbit hole. Hole, hole, hole. Looking into all sorts of fascinating methods of torture.
And I'll tell you right now, this episode does not disappoint. After we're done here, you're going to be very happy to have not lived in medieval Europe because it seems like anyone could be accused of anything and end up in something like the armchair of inquiries. Now, if you're like me, you've already been to one of those torture museums before. I mean, of course, hello, standard. And they always have those insane steampunk looking contraptions and
And they'll have names like the Pair of Anguish, Lucifer's Nail File, the Iron Maiden. Like even if you haven't been to a torture museum, you might have heard of some of them because they're just that awesome.
iconic. Like the Iron Maiden was a steel upright coffin completely lined with metal spikes. Not something you want to be slowly closed inside of. Well guess what? The Iron Maiden and a whole bunch of other supposedly medieval torture devices aren't real.
They weren't around at all in the Middle Ages. It wasn't until the late 1800s when circuses and carnivals started to become popular that con artists and showmen started to charge people to come see these fake torture instruments
Eh, you know, for shock value. It's the OG clickbait. And we're still doing it today because it's just as effective. People love to imagine their worst fears played out, I guess. In 2005, someone created a fake Wikipedia article for a torture device called the Spanish Tickler.
which kind of looked like a Wolverine claw, but I guess it turns out it was fake. Like there's a lot of fake torture devices and even in the torture museums, a lot of the ones they have up for the visual or whatever, they're fake. They're not actually real. And I thought that was really interesting. And
And I want to share that with you. You're welcome. The craziest thing about all like the fake torture porn is that the real methods of torture that were used back in the day were actually like a lot more crazier. They even got very creative. I'm talking like Game of Thrones level. That's what I've been told. I never saw Game of Thrones, but I hear it is pretty real. And people have been finding creative ways to hurt each other since the dawn of time, really. I mean, back then without social media,
They had to figure out other ways to entertain themselves. And one of the best outlets, it seems, was torture. Party. So before we talk about the devices itself, torture has had some universal rules. And one of the most popular rules was that you could not, and they did not, torture their own people. Which is, was interesting that there were ground rules when it comes to torture. But I mean, that's cool. Everything else, pretty much,
pretty much was A-okay, but you couldn't torture your own people, it had to be randoms. So throughout history, most of it has been inflicted on people like prisoners of war and enslaved people. And one of the earliest examples of this that we have actually comes from Val. Valerian, I guess that's this guy's full name, was a Roman emperor back in the third century. I guess he was eventually overthrown by the King of Persia. So Valerian, he was taken prisoner.
And because he was a foreigner and a non-Persian citizen, his captors, well, that gave them the green light to do whatever the hell they wanted with him. So the Persian king, I guess this is the rumor, this is what was said, okay? But he used Valyrian as like a human footstool. So literally he would like walk all over him when he needed to mount his horse. Like he would step on his back.
Or let's say he's sitting and lounging and he wants to put his feet up. Guess what? Val, get over here. Get on all fours. Let me put my feet up. Val tried to offer the king a lump sum.
in order to be released. But unfortunately, the king wasn't tempted. He liked the footstool. So this pissed Val off. And the king was honestly offended. The fact that this Valyrian guy would dare to address him as an equal and like offer him money so he could be set free was insulting. And the king was like, "You know what? My little footstool, guess what? I'm gonna teach you a little lesson." So the story goes,
The story goes, like this is some real shit. The story goes that he had Valerian tied up, told him to open his mouth. Oh yeah, yep. And forced him to swallow molten gold. First of all, what the fuck is molten gold? Well, imagine...
lava going down your throat, melting everything it touches and then solidifying around your organs. That's what was happening to Val. But the king was not satisfied and he wanted to do more to his little footstool.
turned lava man. So the king had him, Val, skinned alive, okay? And then he takes the skin, stuffs it with like straw and stuff and like sews it together. And guess what? He kept Valerian's skin slash now scarecrow in the main Persian temple. It was like
A trophy or decor, but also making a statement. Like if you talk back to me, you're gonna end up just like that guy over there, Mr. Square Crow boy. Oh yeah, bitch. Like this guy was morbid. Treating a foreign leader like this was obviously incredibly insulting to Valerian's people in Rome, who would later defeat Persia and reclaim Valerian's skin in order to give him a proper burial.
Look, Joan, if you speak back to me, guess what? Molten gold. I'm getting inspired. Not that it's right, but sometimes necessary to let people know that you're the bitch in charge. So at least Valerian's skin got a proper burial. That's really nice. But what the Persian king did to Val is one of the most popular motives behind torture. Sending a message.
That's what it really comes down to, okay? 'Cause look, this comes up years later with the Catholic Church. The Roman Catholic Church was essentially the highest power in Europe at this time. Like they were running the show. This is back in the middle ages. Like the church was their government. The government was the church and that's just how it was. But as technology advances and people travel, learn new things, get new ideas, find themselves,
some of them are naturally going to gravitate towards different beliefs, like Judaism or Islam. Now, Catholicism was still the law of the land, but the rise of these other religions scared the absolute crap out of the Roman Catholic Church, and most of all, Daddy Pope.
He was worried. These people are going to hell. This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Most of you listening right now are probably multitasking. Yep, while you're listening to me talk, you're probably also driving, cleaning, exercising, or maybe even grocery shopping. But if you're not in some kind of moving vehicle, there's something else you could be doing right now. Getting an auto quote from Progressive Insurance.
It's easy and you can save money by doing it from your phone. Drivers who save by switching to Progressive save nearly $750 on average. And auto customers qualify for an average of seven discounts. Discounts for having multiple vehicles on your policy, being a homeowner and more.
So just like your favorite podcast, Progressive will be with you 24-7, 365 days a year, so you're protected no matter what. Multitask right now. Quote your car insurance at Progressive.com to join the over 28 million drivers who trust Progressive.
Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates. National average 12-month savings of $744 by new customer surveyed who saved with Progressive between June 2022 and May 2023. Potential savings will vary. Discounts not available in all states and situations. This is an ad by BetterHelp. What are your self-care non-negotiables? The things you know make you feel better even when it's impossible to make time for them.
Like that workout you try to squeeze in between kids' activities, work, and everything else you have going on, and before you know it, it gets pushed to tomorrow. Sound familiar? But it's the moments when you feel like you have no time for yourself when those non-negotiables are more important than ever. Those are the things that keep you strong, healthy, motivated, and prepared to take on everything life demands of you. So why not make therapy one of them?
BetterHelp Online Therapy makes it easy to get started with affordable phone, video, or live chat sessions you can do from anywhere, and the option to message your therapist between sessions if anything comes up. Never skip therapy day with BetterHelp.
Visit BetterHelp.com slash Dark History today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash Dark History. Go to ZocDoc.com slash Dark History and download the ZocDoc app for free. Then find and book a top-rated doctor today.
Many are available within 24 hours. That's ZocDoc, Z-O-C-D-O-C dot com slash dark history. ZocDoc dot com slash dark history. So in 1252, the Pope decides to greenlight the use of torture for heretics. Now a heretic...
That's, to put it easily, that's like anyone who went against the Pope or the beliefs of the church itself. If that sounds really vague, it's because yeah, like most of it was vague. Most people associate heresy with being caught practicing witchcraft or like doing something demonic with your butt. But it could also apply to really anything. So as you can imagine, things get a little loosey goosey and pretty soon anyone can be accused of being a heretic and
punished as one. The Pope essentially said, you're either with us or we don't know you. You're against us. You're an enemy and that must be handled. And yeah, that scared a lot of people. So by the 1400s, the Pope
And the Vatican are getting very worried by all these conversations and like all this free thought. We don't like that. They're thinking, we don't like that. So together with the King and Queen of Spain, the church creates a group called the Spanish Inquisition. First of all, if you haven't seen their outfits, give them a little Google. Please hold, I'm Googling their little outfits right now. Cause I forgot to look it up before I filmed this. Thank you. Oh, fantastic.
Oh, fancy, I love red. I love red, they're in all red, if you're not Googling. They're in all red from head to toe, great for those of us who start our period, you don't have to worry about anything, you know what I'm saying? Red from head to toe. Since a bunch of the high ranking Inquisition officials were cardinals, the Inquisition became synonymous with these floor length red robes. It's very dramatic, I love red. The main goal of the Inquisition was to quote unquote, "identify heretics
Or in other words, anyone who was straying off the good path of Roman Catholicism. Okay, so here's what they did. They had eyes everywhere, okay? Snitches running around town. And usually it was men who were like spies in town, kind of, you know? And they'd go to the guys in charge and be like, "Hey, I saw my neighbor, so-and-so, talking to the devil."
And then the Inquisition would be like, "Oh shit." So that's how they kept their eyes on everybody, by snitches, rats, loser. Okay. Now the Inquisition was actually pretty modern in the sense that they had some ground rules when it came to torture, or as they like to call it, torment. The Spanish Inquisition rule book said that torment could only happen for 15 minutes max. So humane of them. Way to go, you guys.
I mean, 15 minutes doesn't sound that long, but like, have you ever tried to hold a plank for a minute? I did that one time. It was too much. So 15 minutes, I'm busy. I can't do that. So as you can imagine, it was 15 minutes. You get it. The Inquisition had three forms of torture that were the most painful.
common. The first one is called the strapado, which to me sounds like a strap-on. I'm like, you want me to bend over, Mr. Pope? But no, that's not what it was. Your hands would be tied behind your back and then a rope would hoist you up from the wrist. After a minute, you might be okay. But after 10, your shoulders were definitely dislocated. Number two,
was called the toka, which sounds like a perfume I got from anthropology, but it actually means waterboarding. Specifically, the Inquisition would funnel water into the prisoner's throat until they were nearly unconscious and felt like they were drowning, but they weren't. It was just fun and games. The third most popular torture method used during this time was the porto or the rack.
This was a big wooden table or frame with shackles on either end for your wrist and your ankles. Those shackles would then be pulled, essentially stretching your body out like an X shape. You know, like...
you know, it's kind of kinky, like that, like your wrists and then your feet and then it would just stretch. Bitch. Yep, you're stretching. Sounds fun, right? Sounds hot and kinky. No, it's not. This would actually cause your joints to dislocate and then your bones would break. Rough. Now, another rule of the Spanish Inquisition, they were not allowed to kill you. But
they could cut it pretty close. And here's the thing, you could get hit multiple rounds of 15-minute torment sessions depending on the crime you were accused of. Maybe you were caught with counterfeit money, two rounds of torment, or maybe something more serious like sodomy. Now that could get you eight rounds of torment. Do the math, 15 minutes times eight. I don't know, let me know in the comment section, 'cause that's a long time, sounds like.
Okay. Now because of these practices, the Spanish Inquisition is credited with really putting torture on the map. They were the trendsetters. Maybe not in a good way, but a way. So in the year 1542, Rome was feeling very inspired. They're like, "Oh my god, Spain is having so much fun over there. We should do that too." So the church kicked off the Roman Inquisition and
And they were like, we love the torture, but we need to have our own version. And Rome, they popped off. They were like, torture? Fun. It's up at a notch. They didn't have strict rules. So, for example, they were allowed people to be tortured for up to 30 minutes at a time. And at this time, actually, it wasn't just limited to the Inquisition's.
In fact, civil courts all around Europe were using the Inquisition's methods, but with no time restrictions and no rules. In other words, everybody. You get to torture, you get to torture, everybody gets to torture. It's just really cool.
to look at from afar, you know? I mean, they started using all kinds of props, horses, wheels, rats, you name it. They were getting creative with it and figuring out a way to use it for torture.
Fun! Now, the Romans didn't invent the wheel, but they did use it to kill one guy. And while no one deserves to be killed this violently, he kind of had it coming for him. This is definitely a little pin note for myself also that I want to do a murder mystery and makeup on this guy because
There's this guy, Peter Niers. He was a German serial killer and it's said that he had killed over 500 people, including 24 fetuses, which he cut out of pregnant women.
So if you're gonna torture anybody, it's gonna be this guy, right? So at least, you know, so allegedly Peter would use their remains in satanic rituals. And also he participated in some cannibalism. Oh shit. Now, when this guy was caught, oh,
This led the church and like the whole inquisition to believe that this man Peter, he was a powerful dark magician and you bet they wanted to hunt this man down and torture his ass. Peter was a very sneaky man and it would take years before he was recognized in a Roman bathhouse and was captured and
caught and brought in for the Romans to have some fun with. So the year's 1581. Romans had gotten a hold of this Peter guy and they did not hold back. I'm all smiling like, "Ha ha ha." Because again, if you're gonna torture anyone, this guy, sure, we can all get up, we can all get behind this guy. So here's what they did. They ended up torturing him for like over the course of three days. On the first day, the Romans tore strips of Peter's flesh from his body
and then poured hot oil right on into those open wounds. Mm-hmm, ouch. Talk about zero to 60 real quick. ♪ On the second day of torture the Romans did to Pete ♪ ♪ Hot oil on his feet ♪
So after they peel his skin and do the whole hot oil thing, they then dragged his oiled feet over hot coals. Now, essentially this was roasting him alive, which had me thinking like, oh, I bet that's where like the expression roast comes from. Like on Comedy Central does it?
Maybe. Now it might seem like I'm making light of the situation, but I want to remind everyone at home that when Peter was arrested, the authorities discovered body parts of multiple fetuses in his suitcase. I'm honestly surprised a human can survive all of this and live to see the another day,
But Peter did. On the third day of imprisonment, the Roman... Okay, so on the third day of his imprisonment, the Romans dragged Peter outside where they broke him on a wheel. Now this thing, it's called the wheel. This was another torturous device. And this was an excruciating, torturous means of killing someone. Breaking someone on the wheel was the phrase for when a big ass wagon wheel was slammed down onto somebody repeatedly in...
In Peter's case, it happened to him 42 times. And what this did was break their bones in multiple locations. It was such a brutal form of torture that it was reserved for convicted rapists, traitors, and murderers like Peter.
The whole point was to torture the convict as harshly as possible without killing them immediately, which would be considered too merciful. After Peter's legs and arms were broken, his legs and arms were then threaded through the spokes of the wagon wheel and secured then with a rope. Just for a little extra flair,
the whole wheel, body and all, was hung from a pole, kind of like a crucifixion. And after all this was said and done, the prisoner would be left dangling on the wheel to slowly die a painful death, which at times could often take days. Talk about slow and painful. Jeez Louise. But for Peter, they really showed up. They went above and beyond for this man.
and they decided to dismember his body before cutting it into tiny pieces. Now I will say, it is a little refreshing to hear a story about someone getting torture who honestly, I'm sorry, Lord, kinda deserved it. Because back then, thanks to the Inquisition and the church, tons of people were getting horribly mistreated for no damn good reason. Especially women, as always, like we learned in our witches episode.
- Yeah, so that's a problem. Like I had a funny feeling deep down that there were probably some creative medieval torture devices for women specifically. And once again, I was right.
What can I say? I just like know a lot. I don't know. It's just like something told me. This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Most of you listening right now are probably multitasking. Yep. While you're listening to me talk, you're probably also driving, cleaning, exercising, or maybe even grocery shopping. But if you're not in some kind of moving vehicle, there's something else you could be doing right now. Getting an auto quote from Progressive Insurance.
It's easy and you can save money by doing it from your phone. Drivers who save by switching to Progressive save nearly $750 on average. And auto customers qualify for an average of seven discounts. Discounts for having multiple vehicles on your policy, being a homeowner and more.
So just like your favorite podcast, Progressive will be with you 24-7, 365 days a year, so you're protected no matter what. Multitask right now. Quote your car insurance at Progressive.com to join the over 28 million drivers who trust Progressive.
Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates. National average 12-month savings of $744 by new customer survey who saved with Progressive between June 2022 and May 2023. Potential savings will vary. Discounts not available in all states and situations. This is an ad by BetterHelp. What are your self-care non-negotiables? The things you know make you feel better even when it's impossible to make time for them.
Like that workout you try to squeeze in between kids' activities, work, and everything else you have going on, and before you know it, it gets pushed to tomorrow. Sound familiar? But it's the moments when you feel like you have no time for yourself when those non-negotiables are more important than ever. Those are the things that keep you strong, healthy, motivated, and prepared to take on everything life demands of you. So why not make therapy one of them?
Now let's get back to today's story.
There was something called a breast ripper, which maybe you're like, what is that? And you're guessing it right now. Well, guess what? It was ripping titties off with hot irons. It looks like a claw almost. And then it goes around the boob and just like salad tongs. Okay, but claws. And it just goes around the boob and clamps just the whole titty. And once they had like a fern grasp,
it would be ripped away from the body. This is probably where the word snatched comes from. I don't know, 'cause it's not in the name, but that to me is a real, that's a snatch. You wanna talk about snatched?
That's a, that's a, okay. And this tool will be used on women who were accused of cheating on their husbands or maybe performing an abortion on themselves. There was also something called the cucking stool, which was reserved for disorderly women. Ah, there we go. I mean, define disorderly woman.
Exactly. No one knows, whatever that means. It was like up to whoever was in charge that day. It was basically a teeter-totter and on one side it had a chair, like a wooden normal ass looking chair. And then on the other side, a pulley system that could like lift it up.
into the air, right? Now the chair, it kind of is, reminds me of like a squatty potty situation in a way because the chair's bottom where your butt went would be completely cut out. So your ass went through the chair, then they would tie the woman to the chair and like hoist her into the air. So everyone in town could take turns shouting and throwing stuff at the women who were just hanging up there, terrified with their ass out. I don't,
Yeah, I know. I don't know. Like they're asking. I don't know. But honestly, I would take that one over the other ones, right? I'll sit in that chair and just yell and throw stuff at me. I'll shit on you. Watch me.
Yeah. Anyway, so these devices against women were not even the most interesting ones I found. I also found a device that was used on witches. Yeah. Or just women in general. It's been called one of the most misogynistic torture devices for women ever made. Congratulations. Most of the time, it was actually husbands that would request their wives to be subjected to this type of torture.
- Mm-hmm, oh yeah. Your dirty ass husband could be like, "I'm tired of her ass." Which it was used on the unruly lower class women in order to be put in line and taught a lesson. I'm talking about a device called the scolds bridle. Now, let me tell you about this shit.
One of the earliest uses of the scold's bridle was in 1567 on a Scottish woman named Bessie. Oh, Bessie. Now, Bessie did one of the worst things you could possibly do during this time. I know. Wait for it. She called out a man for lying. There she... Bessie. Get it together, Bessie. How dare you, Bessie. It was a big deal. How dare...
I am so, you know, every day I wake up, I say, praise God, I was not born back then because what the fu- like, it must have sucked. Oh my God. Right? Am I right? High five. Great. So I guess Bessie was buying something from a man in town. I'm sorry, I'm not laughing, but I am. Because Bessie was buying something from a man in town and she accused him of ripping her off in front of the townspeople.
So the man demanded Bessie be put in the scold's bridle. How dare she disrespect him?
Fuck her, though, you know? It was called a scold's bridle because in medieval time, a scold was essentially a woman from the lower class who, like, didn't hold back when it came to speaking out and giving her opinions. And a bridle is that thing that goes, like, in a horse's mouth. So the person who's riding the horse can stop him from galloping away by pulling the rope.
Horse lessons 101 with me, Bailey Sarian. So the bridle goes in the mouth and there's reins and stuff, right? Or like whatever. And you're sitting on the horse. And then like, if the horse is galloping, you want him to slow down or just stop and generally pull back. And this bar, here's my hairbrush, goes like this.
bridle. And that's basically what it did for women too. Let me describe this thing to you guys. There were definitely like a few different forms of it throughout the years, but the one Bessie had to endure was a mask made of a really heavy metal iron. Now it had a metal strap on the top
in the sides so it would fit tightly onto a woman's head and be really hard to take off. Like you couldn't take it off, to be honest. On top of the mask, there were these spiky metal twisted animal horns. There were cutouts around the eyes, nose, and also mouth.
And if you take a look at the picture, it looks like a scary haunting metal like demon mask from a Saw movie. Like let's be a Saw. I'm gonna fuck me up when I was a kid. Once the mask was placed on top of a woman's head, she would have to open her mouth to insert a metal gag. This gag was a flat piece of metal with a large spike on it pointing down towards the tongue.
That way if she talked, you see what would happen if she tried to talk? She'd be stabbing her tongue, her mouth. It was just scary and uncomfortable, but most of all humiliating because you would have to walk around with this shit on, especially if your bozo husband was the one who requested you be put in the bridal. Husbands would tie a leash to their wives who were wearing the scold's bridal and force her to parade around town. Oh, God.
In Bessie's case, she was paraded around town, like on this walk of shame while blood was dripping out of her mouth. And then worst of all, the townspeople were actually encouraged to harass the women. So they're like, "Please feel free to spit, assault. I don't know, just do shit to them, make them feel bad." And they did just that while the husband is dragging poor Bessie around.
So that's fun, huh? Thoughts, reflections?
No, you cannot parade me around town with that on, Joan, you sick bitch. I will not put that on for you. The next story was, well, it's real disturbing. There's a quote that says, anything a fiction author can come up with, history has already done it worse at least once. And ain't that the truth. So guess what? We're now in Hungary, 1514, during something called the Peasant War.
The Peasant War was an uprising against their government. The government at the time kept taking away the peasants' food, clothes, and freedoms in general. So over 100,000 Hungarian peasants united together to overthrow the king.
under the leadership of a man named Giorgi Datsa. Sadly, the peasants lost this war and they had even more of their freedom taken away. Giorgi, which is such a cute name, huh? Was captured by the government and sentenced to death by torture. And they were going to use Giorgi's death to send a message to the local peasants. With a crowd of royals and captured peasant prisoners watching, oh, and also a live band playing happy music in the background,
Georgie's torture began. First, guards stripped Georgie naked and tied up his feet. Then they teased him, calling him the peasant king. They brought in a few of his peasant soldiers and forced them to sit Georgie on an iron throne.
but this wasn't any old iron throne, oh nay nay. This was an iron chair that had a fire set underneath it, slowly heating up the chair like an oven. So the longer Georgie sat on it, the more his skin and flesh melted onto the actual seat itself.
Yeah, his balls melted right on that chair. Because that's not enough, of course not. They then brought in a burning hot metal scepter. You know like those fancy wand sticks that royals need for some reason? They always got one. So then they shoved this burning hot metal scepter into his open palm. Then to complete the royal look, they brought in a blazing hot crown and placed it on his head.
They went off. The dedication to this piece was like, wow. Because like they gave him a throne, his own crown and a scepter, but all of it's melting his skin and killing him. Like, wow.
You guys are kind of crazy back then. So Georgie, poor poor Georgie, had to sit on this slowly heating throne for over an hour while the crowd gathered and happily watched. Here's your crown, peasant king. Here's your throne. You don't like it? Aww, poor little baby. You want to be a king? Go ahead.
taunting him. Then, 'cause again, not enough, the guards decided to take things up a notch. They brought out Georgie's brother, one of the imprisoned peasant soldiers.
and they decided that they were going to murder him right in front of Georgie. As if seeing your own brother getting murdered right in front of you wasn't enough, they then cut up his body into little pieces. Then several guards heated up pliers in a nearby fire, and they started pulling flesh from all over Georgie's body. Guards then told nine of the peasant soldiers to finish killing Georgie themselves.
How? Well, through cannibalism, of course. Eat him! That's right. They told them to go over to Georgie, bite and swallow chunks of flesh where the hot iron had just burned his body. Or, if they didn't want to do this, let's say...
Well, then they would be killed right on the spot. Four of the nine peasants refused to follow through with this and were killed on the spot the same way Georgie's brother was, murdered and then cut up into a bunch of pieces. The other five peasants started chowing down for their life. After taking several bites and swallowing, they were taken out of their chains and freed.
From prison. You know, at what cost? Georgie died on the throne that day. His corpse was then ripped into pieces. They displayed different pieces of his body all over as a warning to the peasants.
Don't even think about doing this or challenging us or speaking up or doing anything ever again. And interesting fact, that throne that Georgie died on, that could be the origin of what we know. This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Most of you listening right now are probably multitasking.
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Our final torture device, we're going to cover one of the OGs of pain and suffering. No, I'm not talking about family dinners. I'm talking about the Porto, AKA the rack. And get your head out of the gutter, it has nothing to do with titties. Now the rack was like,
Okay, now the rack was a movie star. It was timeless, simple, yet elegant. It should have won all the awards for how effective it was. And not only that, the rack was international, honey. Anyone who was anyone in the torture game relied on the trusty rack. I'm talking the Greeks, the Romans, the Russians, the French, the Brits. So you're probably wondering, "Bailey, shut up. What did it look like? Tell me. Tell me right now." Okay, so listen.
So there were two major designs of the rack. One version looked like a long wooden table, kind of like something you'd see in like an Adam family dining room, right? Then another popular version looked like a long, wide wooden ladder that was placed on an incline.
But it didn't matter which version you preferred for the rack because at the end of the day, they both had something in common. On each end of the ladder or the table or whatever the fuck, there were two rotating logs or wheels. Mm-hmm, mm-hmm, mm-hmm. Yep, mm-hmm. Rotation is happening. So let's say...
a convicted criminal comes on down. Come on down. You know, you're up next. They'd be taken into a room where the rack was located. Now this would be typically in like a dungeon or a dark place. Next, the person would be forced onto the rack. The person's ankles would be tied to one of the rotating logs with either like a rope or a chain or something like that. And then the wrist would be tied to the other log. You're kind of put in that stretch position
It's kind of hot, but then it takes a dark twist, bitch. This put the person in a horizontal position, thinks Superman flying through the air. Great, I see you're imagining it. The interrogators would then come in and get to work. They'd grill the prisoner with all sorts of questions about what they were being accused of. If their answer was unacceptable or they didn't like the answer that this guy was giving them, which often happened,
they'd start to crank the wheels on either end of the rack, just very slowly, you know, to make the prisoner really feel it, live in it a little bit. Little by little, the prisoner would be stretched out way beyond how like a human body should stretch. As you can imagine, this would cause excruciating pain
and the prisoner would be screaming, hollering, shouting, all of the good stuff, which is why normally this would take place in like a dungeon or somewhere dark because it was just so loud. They're so dramatic when they're getting stretched, but the most spine chilling or spine ripping. Part of this whole thing is that as a human being is being stretched out like that, there are blood curdling sounds made by joints and bones ripping
Yeah, it makes noise. And popping. I don't know what that sounds like. And honestly, I don't think I wanna know. I think I'm good. And this scene was so gruesome that just forcing prisoners to watch this happen to other people was enough to actually scare the crap out of them and usually get a confession. But confessions weren't the only reason they used this platform of pain.
They used it to pry information from people. They used it to send a message, like earlier with the Valerian guy. They also used it to set a grim example and keep people in their place. And it's been used like that ever since it was invented. The origin story of the wreck goes back thousands of years.
Researchers aren't positive which civilization was the first to use it to turn people into Stretch Armstrong, but some texts say it first pops up in the Greek Empire around 300 BC. Apparently, famous Greek
King Alexander the Great used the rack to torture some of his underlings who were planning to assassinate him. Well, in the year 1477, there was another version of the rack that came out and the British called it the Duke of Exeter's Daughter because it was created by the Duke of, maybe you guessed it, Exeter. And guess he considered this device his daughter? I'm not sure.
But while this rack was probably used quite consistently, it wasn't until about 150 years later when the Duke's grizzly daughter made it into the spotlight. In 1605, there was a group of 13 English rebels who were really pissed off at the King of England.
His name was like King James I. They were super pissed. The reason they were so pissed was because they felt the king was forcing his religion on the entire kingdom. And not only this, the rebels, who were Catholics, were tired of being persecuted and targeted for their beliefs. They said it was time for Catholicism to retake the English throne. So...
they came up with a plan or maybe a plot. On November 5th, King James was scheduled to give a speech at the House of Parliament in London. Now, Parliament is essentially the English version of Congress. And like this speech was a big deal. It was an event announcing the start of a new session of lawmaking. Since the rebels knew the king was going to be there on that day specifically, they decided that it was the
perfect place to assassinate him. Kill him. Dead. Forever. Gone. Bye. So they came up with an idea. Why don't we blow up the House of Parliament? Yes!
"Yeah!" And like high-fiving, like, "Yeah, that's such a good idea!" But what the rebels didn't know is that some bitch-ass tattletale sent an anonymous note to the king's men just before the event. This note told them about the plot, when, where, and how it was gonna happen. Just all the details, honestly, that they needed to know in a convenient little package.
Anyway, in the middle of the night on the morning of the big event, royal authorities searched the crypt underneath the House of Parliament. There, they found a man in a black coat, a wide-brimmed hat, and a very chic mustache, and wearing boots with the spurs. Boots with the spurs. The whole club was looking at her. Or him. Ha ha ha ha.
That song actually goes with the story because lo, lo, lo, lo, they were underneath in the crypt. Anyway, so this mystery Zorro looking guy, his name was Guy, Guy Fawkes.
Yeah, great name. I love a name like this because this is a name I could get behind. Guy? You can't mess that one up. So Guy was one of the Catholic rebels I mentioned earlier. So the king's goons confronted him and they placed him under arrest. I mean, obviously he's going to blow up the place. Not only this, they see that he was guarding not one, not two, but 36...
barrels of gunpowder, enough to rip apart the House of Parliament. He went above and beyond, for sure. This became known as the gunpowder plot. Now it didn't work. I know, it could have been cool. I mean, not really.
And now a poor guy was caught and he was about to pay for it. And it's not fair because it was a lot of people's ideas. He was just like, oh, you know what? Like, was he willing to die if he was? It doesn't matter. I'm getting off track. Okay, look. So he gets caught. Guess what? Your turn, guy. So that night, guy is taken to the Tower of London. I went there one time. It's real cool because today, like the...
The Tower of London is the home of the crown jewels and like of the British monarchy and like millions of people visit it every year. It's so cool and historic. I hear it's a tourist trap that I totally fell for, but from the year 1100 to about 1952, it was actually a brutal, unforgiving place or prison. Sorry about that, prison. I didn't know that. I was like, oh my God, jewels, ooh, buildings, culture.
On November 6, 1605, King James is understandably pissed off. So he sent an order over to the tower authorizing the use of torture on Guy. So he would give up the name of his co-conspirators. The order said, quote, if he will not confess, the gentler tortures are to be the first used on him.
Godspeed. This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Most of you listening right now are probably multitasking. Yep, while you're listening to me talk, you're probably also driving, cleaning, exercising, or maybe even grocery shopping. But if you're not in some kind of moving vehicle, there's something else you could be doing right now. Getting an auto quote from Progressive Insurance.
It's easy and you can save money by doing it from your phone. Drivers who save by switching to Progressive save nearly $750 on average. And auto customers qualify for an average of seven discounts. Discounts for having multiple vehicles on your policy, being a homeowner and more.
So just like your favorite podcast, Progressive will be with you 24, 7, 365 days a year. So you're protected no matter what. Multitask right now. Quote your car insurance at Progressive.com to join the over 28 million drivers who trust Progressive.
Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates. National average 12-month savings of $744 by new customer surveyed who saved with Progressive between June 2022 and May 2023. Potential savings will vary. Discounts not available in all states and situations. This is an ad by BetterHelp. What are your self-care non-negotiables? The things you know make you feel better even when it's impossible to make time for them.
Like that workout you try to squeeze in between kids' activities, work, and everything else you have going on, and before you know it, it gets pushed to tomorrow. Sound familiar? But it's the moments when you feel like you have no time for yourself when those non-negotiables are more important than ever. Those are the things that keep you strong, healthy, motivated, and prepared to take on everything life demands of you. So why not make therapy one of them?
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Motivational in words, I guess? So first, Guy was placed in a cell that was so small that no adult could stand comfortably, sit, or even lay down. There was no physical way for him to rest, which in itself sounds awful. Step two, Guy was taken into a torture chamber underneath the tower.
There, he endured something called the manacles. These were iron handcuffs placed tightly on Guy's wrists, which were then attached to a rope. Guy was then lifted off the floor for hours on end, destroying his hands, wrists, and even shoulders. While hanging, he was interrogated, at times, by the king himself. But Guy was no rat. He did not give anyone's name up.
They move on to step three. It's time for Guy to go on a little date with the Duke's daughter, aka put him on the rack. Guy was dragged into a chamber underneath one of the towers of his prison. There he was laid on the rack with ropes tied to his ankles and wrists. Slowly but surely, the interrogators asked Guy to give up some names. He kept refusing, so he kept getting stretched, turning the dial.
I don't know what a dial sounds like, but just imagine. And all that popping and ripping I mentioned earlier, yeah, that was happening to Guy. And not just for a few hours, Guy would end up spending almost three entire days on the rack, going through just horrifying, excruciating, terrible pain. Eventually, he started to give names, and King James couldn't have been any happier. Because now,
He's like, I know who to kill. Yippee skippee. But even though Guy gave the king everything that he wanted, Guy's torture was not over. I mean, not even close. After sitting in his jail cell for a couple more months, Guy was dragged out of the Tower of London on January 31st, 1606. He was then tied to a horse and dragged through the streets of London. God damn.
God damn you guys, like calm down. Geez. Dramatic much? Oh my God. When they arrived at the middle of the city, Guy was forced, 'cause he's still alive after all of this, Guy was forced to watch his co-conspirators get literally ripped apart. First they were hanged. He's like, "Yeah, you're gonna watch this shit. Look what you did, Guy. We're gonna watch together. Let me get some popcorn." So first,
He's watching. First they were hanged, but while they were still alive, for some odd reason, they chopped off their dicks. Unknown, for fun, I guess. They burned the dick in front of them, like, "Ha ha ha," again. I don't know. And then they would have a little weenie roast, and then they would be sliced open, and their guts and hearts would be removed.
And that's when they would die. After that, their bodies were quartered, meaning that they were chopped into four pieces. So I don't know how, but they were. Then their heads were cut off. Again, a little overkill, but they love the dramatics over there. I don't know what it is. It's like, you guys are, you need to just take a chill pill. Well, then again, they were really bored back then. They didn't have anything to do. So next...
It was Guy's turn. "You're up, bitch." So at this point, he's weak as hell because he's been enduring months of torture. But as he climbed the ladder and the rope was placed around his neck, he found just enough energy to really stick it to the man and jump. So the rope tightened quickly and snapped his neck, killing him instantly, which to you and I were like, "That's not great, but
It's kind of great in this situation because this meant that he didn't have to go through feeling like his wiener being cut off, him being sliced open with his guts being ripped out. Like Guy was, he beat them to it. Okay. Which I think anyways, Guy's body was then cut into four pieces and distributed to the four corners of the kingdom. Now this was to send a message to anyone else who dare try to take down King James. And if that wasn't enough,
'Cause it's never enough for these people. They even decided to add some home decor to the castle. They stuck prisoners' heads. They were already dead, right? They take the heads of the prisoners and put them on spikes.
Yeah, a little kebab. And then lined the bridge with them. Yep, they did that. So you know those like Halloween decorations you do every year? That was some real shit. Yeah. Now this, again, would instill fear into everyone who saw that shit. You wanna send a message? I think that would send a message. At least for me, I'd be like, "Oh shit, is that a head on a stick?"
You don't see that every day. And there is something else we need to cover when it comes to the Tower of London. I just think it's so interesting that thousands of tourists visit that spot every day, stepping on the same stones that were once covered in the blood of tortured prisoners. And sure, the Duke's daughter was a brutal bitch, but one of the most popular devices of torture in the Tower of London wasn't actually a device at all. It was rats.
like actual rats. Now there were several ways rats would be used as a form of torture, but they would all end the same way. Rats would end up eating the human flesh. Now these rodents were often used through the method known as the rat box. This is fun. I saw the pics. So first you'd get like, you tie up a prisoner on a flat surface.
So, you know, tie their arms and legs and all that jazz. Second, what you got to do or what they would do is starve a bunch of rats. Okay. So get some rats. Don't feed them. Yeah, they're hungry. Okay. So then you're going to stick the starving rats in like a bucket or something. And you're going to walk over to the prisoner, dump the rats onto the
the prisoner's stomach, and then like you hold down the bucket or you just kind of let them run free or whatever, 'cause eventually what they're gonna do, these rats, they're not gonna start eating you at first because they're polite. So usually they'd have to like take some kind of heat, let's say like a torch, and they would kind of get it next to the rats, get the rats nice and toasty, either on the bucket, in the room, just get the rats irritated, hot,
Go in. And after a few minutes, the rats are obviously going to start freaking out, thinking that they're in danger under all this heat and whatnot. So then they're going to try to chew their way out. Through the prisoner's stomach, of course. So...
You see, you're alive and then rats are put on you and then the rats eat you. Like your stomach and stuff. If you Google the images, oh bitch, you won't be able to sleep for days. Swear to God, don't look it up unless you're sick like me. So there was another version of this, which is they would stick a tube into a prisoner's butthole. Yeah. Sometimes into a vagina. They would put a tube in there. Then they would stick a hungry rat into the tube.
close the tube, heat up the end, and guess what? You're gonna get eaten out, and not in a good way. And right now, if you are not clenching your butt cheeks together, I don't know what you're doing with your life, you sicko. Sometimes the guards were just straight up tired and didn't even care to stick around for the torture. So they'd open the prison doors filled with men and release a bucket of rat.
and the rats would just go to town, eating the flesh of the prisoners until they got their fill and scurry away. Maybe this is the reason so many people are afraid of rats. Maybe it's been seared into our DNA, or maybe they just look like they want to eat us, and this is proof that, nah, they did at one point. Now, you can say a lot about people from medieval Europe, but you can't say that they weren't
Damn creative. And even though torture devices like the rack or the armchair of inquiries don't seem to be used anymore, torture is still definitely used as a way of getting information. And it's interesting that some of the oldest torture rules still apply. You remember Valerian? Remember him? Back in his day, you could only torture non-citizens, remember?
Well, that still holds up. Maybe you've heard of a little place called Guantanamo. We don't have enough time to open that can of worms, but there's something interesting about who we feel we have the right to torture and what torture means to us today. At the end of the day, it just seems to me that human beings love hurting other human beings, but we don't torture like we used to. So I kind of feel like we've gotten a little better, but I could be completely wrong because I don't know everything, you know?
Let me know down below. Well, everyone, what'd you think? If you had to go out with one of these devices, which one would you go out with? I think I'd choose the Squatty Potty one or the Boob Snatcher because boobs grow back, I heard. It's like a lizard's tail. Once it's gone, it just grows right back. You know, this is another side story, but I thought boobs growed back.
Wait, nevermind actually, we'll discuss that another day. Well everyone, thank you for learning with me today. Remember, don't be afraid to ask questions to get the whole story because you deserve that. I'd love to hear your reactions to today's story, so make sure to use the hashtag dark history so I can follow along. But I will say, side note, torture and torture devices is a hotly debated topic.
A lot of people don't want to claim that their kings and queens or whoever like used torture on one another. Some people say it was real, some say it was fake. I don't really care what you think about that hot debate because there is proof that these torture devices, the ones that we at least mentioned here, were used.
once upon a time. So don't take it personally. It was a real thing. Look, history is fucked up and we're owning it. I don't think we should be doing it now, you know? Okay, great. Join me over on my YouTube where you can watch these episodes on Thursday after the podcast airs. And while you're there, I don't know, maybe check out my murder mystery and makeup. I hope you have a wonderful rest of your day. You make good choices.
Have a seat to my armchair of inquiries, maybe, but talk to you next week. Love ya. Bye, bitch. Dark History is an Audioboom original. This podcast is executive produced by Bailey Sarian, Junia McNeely from 3Arts, Kevin Grush, and Claire Turner from Maiden Network.
Writers, Katie Burris, Alison Filobos, Joey Scaluzzo, and me, Bailey Sarian. Shot and edited by Tafadzwa Namarundwe and Hannah Bakker. Research provided by the Dark History Researcher Team. And I'm your host, Bailey Sarian. It's a whip.