4: Andrew Jackson
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This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Most of you listening right now are probably multitasking. Yep, while you're listening to me talk, you're probably also driving, cleaning, exercising, or maybe even grocery shopping. But if you're not in some kind of moving vehicle, there's something else you could be doing right now. Getting an auto quote from Progressive Insurance.

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Like that workout you try to squeeze in between kids' activities, work, and everything else you have going on, and before you know it, it gets pushed to tomorrow. Sound familiar? But it's the moments when you feel like you have no time for yourself when those non-negotiables are more important than ever. Those are the things that keep you strong, healthy, motivated, and prepared to take on everything life demands of you. So why not make therapy one of them?

Hi, friends.

I hope you're having a wonderful day today. My name is Bailey Sarian and this is the Dark History Podcast. Hello, hi, how's it going? If you're a curious cat like myself, then come on this journey with me and let's learn something new. Well, today's story, let me tell you.

What the hell is going on? That's what I kept saying over and over again. Because while looking into stories from our past, let me tell you, I kept running into this name over and over and over again.

This common denominator always seeming to be involved with some of the worst stories. That common denominator, you ask? Well, it's Mr. Andrew Jackson. The guy with the big old forehead on a $20 bill? Him. Okay, he seems to be a problem. I'm sure some of you out there listening are aware of how awful Andrew Jackson's past was, but how much do you really know about him and his awful story?

Exactly, exactly. Because to be fair, I didn't know the extent of how awful this guy was. And I don't care what you say, he for sure seems like he was on some bath salts, I'm telling you. If you look at a picture of him when he was older, he had total meth face. In fact, he barely looked like he does on the $20 bill. In real life, he was like missing some teeth and he was pretty damn ugly. The $20 bill is basically like a glamor shot, you know?

You can't tell me though he wasn't doing something. Well, surprise, surprise. Note my sarcasm here. Andrew Jackson, he was up to some serious shenanigans. Not only that, he was a man of many trades. He made his money trading and selling enslaved people. He was also a general. He fought and led many soldiers into battle, was a governor.

A judge. He gambled. He drank. A lot. He married a married woman. And he was not afraid to play dirty. But then after all of that, he would go on to become the seventh president of the United States. Because let's be honest here, America just loves a complicated bitch. Now, me being the curious cat that I am, I wanted to take a moment and try my best to learn what in the actual hell was going on with Andrew Jackson.

Just a little disclaimer though, we're mostly going to focus on his life before his presidency, so we won't really get into the super nitty gritty, like messed up stuff he was doing during his presidency. That's a whole nother case, Dilla, that I will cover in a different episode. Don't you worry. So Andrew Jackson, who was he? What was he up to? What?

Well, let me tell you, he was born March 15th, 1767. So he was a Pisces. His parents, Andrew Jackson Sr. and Elizabeth Jackson were Irish immigrants. When they came over to America, they made their home in a small community, not far from Charleston, South Carolina. Now at the time, the border between North Carolina and South Carolina did not exist just yet. So it wasn't exactly known like what state Andrew was born in.

I don't think it really matters to be honest. He was born. Step one, be born. While Andrew's mom was pregnant with him, sadly, his father passed away, leaving Andrew with just his mom and two older brothers. But then between the ages of 12 and 14, Andrew would lose both of his brothers and his mom. Now this is the one part of his story where we can all feel bad for him. So just take that moment in. Hey, wait a minute. Doesn't that sound kind of familiar? Isn't this Batman's story?

I don't know. Anyways, it goes all downhill from here. Picture this, 1787. Can you imagine it in your brain? Got it? Good. It's Salisbury, North Carolina, the state capital of the world. I don't know if that's true, but you're 20 years old, you're bored, and you're a little bit of a shithead teenager. You have a little inheritance from your grandpa who just died. So what do you do?

Become a lawyer, of course. I mean, that's what Andrew did. What, like it's hard or something? I mean, there's only like eight laws you had to memorize back then. You could basically just wing it. Am I right?

I'm right. Andrew was making quite the reputation for himself in Salisbury. His new law practice was thriving and making him rich. He loved the town's prostitutes, he loved gambling, and he loved liquor. So he's out there boozing to the extreme and playing nasty tricks on people for fun. And at this time there was a word for this type of person. They called them a rake.

Yes, like it's a real thing, like a rake, like a rake. I don't know, it was slang for like a man who sleeps around, drinks, does bad things, gambles or whatever. So he's a rake. I love that for him. I wonder if the word hoe is related to this as well. I don't know why we're bringing gardening tools into this, but whatever, okay. We're moving on, moving on, Bailey. Now, because Andrew burned all of his money finishing law school and gambling, he was now poor.

Everyone in Carolina hated him and he had no real life plan. So he flees the Carolinas. Back in 1780 to like 1790s, Tennessee was the extreme wild frontier. If you were willing to risk your life by crossing the mountains, you could buy some cheap land and like start a new life. That's just what AJ did. He

He left his criminal past behind and rebooted as a frontier lawyer and judge. The man could barely read, but whatever, it's the frontier, right? You don't need to read. Now this is a wild time when you could just become a prosecutor like that.

You know what I'm saying? Anyway, so it's like 1788 and Andrew is now 21 and he's acting like he's a hot shot with a big ol' ego. While living in Tennessee, Andrew's renting a room from a local who had like a really beautiful daughter named Rachel. Now Rachel, she was smoking hot. She was out here smoking a pipe, you know, smoking a pancake, and Andrew was just smitten. But there was a catch. There always is, isn't there?

Rachel was already married. Now rumor has it that Rachel's husband was abusing her and left her like he moved away to Kentucky or something but technically they were still married and Andrew was like haven't you heard I'm 21 and like no one's ever told me no and it wasn't long until Andrew and Rachel ended up moving in together and becoming official well unofficially official and

You get what I mean. They would go on to get married in 1791 and Rachel would eventually get divorced from her first husband in 1793. Pretty sure the math isn't adding up there, but okay. This may not seem like a huge deal to you and I, but back then this was drama. I mean, you did not get divorced, let alone marry someone who was already married.

Mm-mm, mm-mm. But keep this drama in mind because it seems to come up a lot later. Andrew Jackson was embracing his new Tennessee life. He was rich. He was a go-getter, overly confident. You know those types of people.

You know, they just attract everybody by being like full of themselves for some reason. People just eat it up. It's that thing where someone is really cool, like no matter what they do, it just makes them cooler. It's like in middle school when you have a crush on someone and they wear a puka shell necklace once and suddenly you start buying puka shell like everything. Andrew Jackson had that effect, except he wore the puka shell necklace once.

and everyone wanted one. Andrew uses the money he makes as a lawyer to buy land and slaves. During this time, he would purchase nine enslaved people. In Southern society, you were nothing if you didn't own 20 plus slaves. I mean, that was like the dream, I guess, and that's what drove Andrew. He probably didn't give a damn about the law or justice. The alcoholic with a temper problem wanted money, power, and respect.

and slavery gave him all of that. This is actually how Andy, Andrew, AJ, stayed wealthy. He put all of his money into side hustles, and then he used enslaved people to do all of the work without having to pay them. Wow, what a novel concept. Not paying for labor? Well, he really broke the plantation with that one.

Andrew Jackson as a person seemed to get bored quite easily, or it's the bath salts depending on who you ask, and he was constantly trying to one-up himself, and to put it bluntly, I think he was just like a straight-up attention seeker. Yeah. And because his reputation as a no-nonsense lawyer, a hot-shot slave owner, and the fact that there weren't that many other people to choose from in Tennessee...

Andy had all these opportunities coming his way. For example, when he was 24 years old, he became attorney general in Tennessee. And then five years later, they're like, hey, do you wanna be in the House of Representatives? And he was like, yeah, man. So he did. And then a year after that, they're like, hey,

"Hey, do you want to be in the Senate?" And he's like, "Fuck yeah, man. Like I know all these eight laws like the back of my hand. Let's do it. It's fucking rage." That's how I imagine it went, exactly like that. Well, in 1796, Tennessee officially became a state and what do they need? They're like, "We need a judge." At this point, Andrew had a reputation in town, again, of being a bit of a drunk or a rake, like we mentioned earlier,

And people, they were familiar with this. Yet for reasons we will never understand, Andrew was chosen to be a judge on the Tennessee Superior Court, which he would end up holding for over five years.

They had a whole state to choose from and they ended up with this booze bag. Andrew was out here not even 30 years old, just acting like a damn fool. And they were like, "Hey, he seems like he should make some major decisions for other people." But honestly,

I hate to admit it. At the end of the day, Andrew may have been like the right one for this position. It was the local sheriff's job to bring the criminals into court, but there were times when they were just like too afraid to put their own life at risk to bring these criminals in.

So honestly, Andrew Jackson should have just been, you know, a sheriff or whatever. We could have solved all of this, but no. So old AJ took it upon himself to just go out there, knock, knock, knock, bitch. Who's there? It's me, Andrew Jackson, and I'm all about assault. And if said criminal answered the door, but refused to come into court, Andrew would threaten to murder them like right then and there.

Andrew was not afraid of anyone or anything. And sitting in a courtroom all day was boring. This is a side note, but you know when you first start watching porn and just one single JPEG of boobs just does it for you? Or whatever it is you're into. So you're like, oh my god, like titties. And as time goes on, you know, titties, they just don't do it for you anymore. So then you move on to the next best thing. Now you're watching TNA stuff.

And then as time goes on, some TNA just doesn't do it for you anymore. You know, I'm not here to yuck your yum, but what I'm getting at is that Andrew was getting a little tired of TNA and he was ready for the next best thing that was going to get him all excited again. He was ready to bend over the system and make it his thing.

Oh, yeah. Before we jump into it, let's pause. This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Most of you listening right now are probably multitasking. Yep. While you're listening to me talk, you're probably also driving, cleaning, exercising, or maybe even grocery shopping. But if you're not in some kind of moving vehicle, there's something else you could be doing right now. Getting an auto quote from Progressive Insurance.

It's easy and you can save money by doing it from your phone. Drivers who save by switching to Progressive save nearly $750 on average. And auto customers qualify for an average of seven discounts. Discounts for having multiple vehicles on your policy, being a homeowner and more.

So just like your favorite podcast, Progressive will be with you 24-7, 365 days a year, so you're protected no matter what. Multitask right now. Quote your car insurance at Progressive.com to join the over 28 million drivers who trust Progressive.

Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates. National average 12-month savings of $744 by new customer surveyed who saved with Progressive between June 2022 and May 2023. Potential savings will vary. Discounts not available in all states and situations. This is an ad by BetterHelp. What are your self-care non-negotiables? The things you know make you feel better even when it's impossible to make time for them.

Like that workout you try to squeeze in between kids' activities, work, and everything else you have going on, and before you know it, it gets pushed to tomorrow. Sound familiar? But it's the moments when you feel like you have no time for yourself when those non-negotiables are more important than ever. Those are the things that keep you strong, healthy, motivated, and prepared to take on everything life demands of you. So why not make therapy one of them?

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Visit BetterHelp.com slash Dark History today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash Dark History. Individual states have this thing called like militias that were basically just civilians with guns who had like no other hobbies. But like if the British came over and they're like, hey, we want land or whatever, they were ready to jump into action like on call.

It's kind of like the state's own little army. Since Tennessee was a somewhat new state, they needed a leader for their militia.

and they decided to hold an election to choose their new leader. Naturally, Andrew Jackson was like, "Sign me up, babe. I'm 100% qualified for this shit." He wasn't, but you get it. It really didn't matter to him. But also, there was a man named John Sevier who wanted the position as well. Now, to be fair, John was way more qualified. I mean, he was a three-term governor, okay? He was well-liked.

and he also had military experience. But Andrew Jackson was like, "I haven't done this before, and I want it more than him. I'm 35-ish, and no one has told me no yet." In order to pick the militia leader, they hold an election, and it ends up basically in a tie.

And in the event of a tie, the sitting governor determines who the winner is. Well, the current governor was a big fan of Andrew Jackson and naturally chose his ass. For good reason, this pissed John off. Oh yeah, he was all the way pissed off.

So you know what he did? He decides, John that is, to run for governor, which he ends up winning. And surprise bitch, Andrew and John were now coworkers.

Hi. So John, being the petty boy that he was, started talking mad shit about Andrew and his wife, Rachel. So he's going around telling everyone that Rachel's a whore. Ooh, shots fired. I know, like why bring Rachel into this? You know? I don't know, but they did. Now Andrew, he decided to confront John. Not with his words though.

bullet. Oh yeah. He tries to shoot John and luckily he misses. People at the scene they then tackle Andrew and they just break up the fight and they're like don't do it man don't do it there's a better way to handle this like shooting each other in a duel.

So, Andrew Jackson sits down at his little desk and he writes John Sevier a letter formally inviting him to a duel. So if you don't know what a duel is, during this time, if you wanted to fight someone when you're pissed at them, you would challenge them to a duel. Oh yeah, you and your opponent would meet up at a spot with matching weapons. Like if they had a gun, you had a gun.

If they had a sword, you had a sword. If they had nunchucks, like you had nunchucks. You get it. Then you stand kind of far apart and somebody yells, "Draw!" And then you both pull out your weapons and you shoot one shot. Now in the Wild West, the goal was to try and kill each other. But in the South, the goal was mainly to just show up. Like showing up showed everyone else you were willing to die over this disagreement.

I don't know. You don't actually try to kill each other though. They would just like shoot their guns in the air. And honestly, it just sounds super pointless. It's confusing. But I think Andrew thought it was pretty dumb too because he eventually just starts shooting at people. Well, actually correction, not yet, but eventually he does. At this point, Andrew shows up at the spot and everyone's waiting for John Sevier to show up as well. Time is ticking.

TikTok bitch. And John is just a no-show. Now, Andrew, he wasn't gonna wait any longer. I mean, not for no one, okay? So he leaves and he starts heading back into town where, surprise, surprise, he runs into John on the way. And he's like, hey, man, what the fuck, man? Like, where were you? I was waiting for you, man. Like, I challenged you to a duel. I wrote you a letter and everything.

So he confronts John, just like, what the fuck, what the fuck? And instead of allowing John to explain himself, instead, AJ rages and starts beating the crap out of John. Oh, man, the fight just gets really intense. It scares John's horse off.

Now John was left with nothing to defend himself and he takes off running and he hides and he's like pleading with Andrew, please don't hurt me, like let me explain. I didn't mean all those things about your wife being a whore, you little bitch. Anyway, to make a long story short, Andrew calms down, they decide not to duel and they just like let it go. They have their little kumbaya moment, okay?

But the media, they just love gossip, even back in the olden days. And they're the ones who would keep the feud alive. The people split into either like Team Andrew Jackson or Team John Sevier. People made t-shirts, there's like balloons, popcorn. It was just a party. And even sometimes people in town would bicker, getting into heated debates at the local bars about whose team are you on? And like, you're an idiot if you were for the opposite team.

Most of the people in town seemed to be mainly Team Andrew, which would turn him into like a local celebrity and elevated Andrew to the 1800s version of a rock star. People were enthusiastic over this honest, fearless, unfiltered, no BS man. And again, that's according to them. I never said that, but they're like, oh my God, oh my God, like throwing their bras at him. It was wild. It's now 1804.

Welcome. Andrew is a judge. He's a leader of the militia. He has his own personal businesses going on, like owning land, enslaved people, breeding horses, and he even owns a general store.

And if he didn't have like enough going on, he then decides to buy a cotton plantation outside Nashville that he called the Hermitage. And this is where he and Rachel would live together and spend the rest of their lives, really. When Andrew bought the Hermitage, he started out with nine enslaved African-Americans, but over the next few years, he would keep buying and trading enslaved people, which was making him more and more rich.

And I'm not sure you've caught on here, but Andrew Jackson was not a nice person. He wasn't. He was absolutely awful. He was even more awful to those enslaved by him. There are records that said Andrew would beat his enslaved workers up

publicly at times just to prove to others he was not to be messed with there was also a case where one of the enslaved people ran away and andrew personally pursued them by placing ads in the newspaper asking for anyone's help to bring back this person even suggesting that he would give

more money to the person who found them if they had beat them beforehand. In 1806, Andrew finally got an opportunity to show everyone in town just how violent and dangerous a man he really was. And he participated in a very famous duel where he officially killed someone.

Something to brag about, I guess, you know? So Andrew was friends with this guy named Charles Dickinson. And no, no, not the writer Charles Dickins. Yeah, this is Dickinson. Don't worry, I thought the same thing. You're not alone. Anyway, this guy was an attorney. He and Andrew, they actually had a lot in common, but they didn't really even like each other. They were literally the definition of frenemies. They were nice to each other, but really just talked mad shit behind each other's back.

Anyway, one day they got into a fight at a horse race. They start arguing back and forth, just drama, drama, drama. And then once again, frickin' Rachel gets dragged into it. Charles is like, Rachel's a whore. And Andrew is like, why are we bringing Rachel into this? You know, like he just completely loses his shit. And once again, how do we handle this? By challenging him to a duel.

Yeah. So remember the rule with dueling was that they each got one shot, no more than that. And whoever got shot, well, they lose. So Andrew went into this duel knowing that Charles had a reputation in town for having the best shot in the state. So with this in mind, Andrew thought, hey,

If I try to beat him to the shot, I'll miss. But if I let him shoot me first, I could take my time, aim, and then afterwards, I can actually shoot him, and at least I won't lose, which technically was cheating, okay?

somebody yells, "Draw!" All loud, you know? And Charles shoots and hits Andrew right in the chest next to his heart. And at that moment, Andrew's pistol misfires. So in the end, you know, cheaters never prosper.

Just kidding. Of course, this isn't the end. Because Andrew is pissed, he shoots again. Bang bang bitch. And he ends up shooting and killing Charles Dickinson. Yeah. Now remember, you're not supposed to shoot again. You only get one shot, you cheater. And he's like, oh my god, I love this for me. This is my new passion in life, murdering people. I mean, not literally, but he had already stepped down from being the state judge and

And now he decided to just focus full time on being the leader for the militia, a place where, you know, wasn't frowned upon to kill people. The only problem though, leading a militia was super boring when there was no fights to be fought. So what do you think cruel, racist, murderous drunks who run state militias do when they get bored?

I take it out. This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Most of you listening right now are probably multitasking. Yep, while you're listening to me talk, you're probably also driving, cleaning, exercising, or maybe even grocery shopping. But if you're not in some kind of moving vehicle, there's something else you could be doing right now. Getting an auto quote from Progressive Insurance.

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Your cash back really adds up. It's now 1812. Welcome. Andrew is now 45 years old and has been commander of the Tennessee Militia for 10 years. America has just claimed independence and Britain is seething. They hate this independence they're claiming. And Britain wanted to claim ownership in areas that were not yet considered parts of the United States. And they were ready to fight for whatever was left.

Now, it wasn't just free available land like anyone could claim.

Nay nay. This land was already owned by Native Americans who had been there for like a very long time. Yeah. Americans were slaughtering the Native Americans on the new frontier. So that drove them to seek an alliance with the British who still controlled Canada. The British Native Alliance drove white Americans nuts. So much so they declared war on the British without really thinking it through.

Not that Andrew cared, he was bored and ready to fight. He's like, "Great, sign me up." So around October of 1812, the governor of Tennessee called for 1,500 volunteers to please head to New Orleans for a possible attack by the British. "Fight the British," you say?

"Oh, this was Andrew's time to shine, baby." Remember, he loves murdering people now. So Andrew jumped to action. He and his men traveled over a thousand miles in brutal winter conditions. And when they finally got there, it turns out it was just a false alarm. The government told Andrew to send his men back without any form of compensation or promise of safety.

No fight, no pay. So Andrew, he walked with his men several hundred miles back and he ended up paying out of pocket for supplies, food, and made sure that the men were safe.

Which was nice of him, I guess. I mean, it was. We can give that to him. I don't wanna like him, you know, but this was a nice thing to do, Andrew. Whatever. During this trip, that's when Andrew gained the nickname Old Hickory. His troops thought he was tough, determined, and badass, comparing him to a firmly rooted hickory tree. I thought Old Hickory was barbecue sauce, no?

Anyway, I know that was a lot of nothing, but bear with me. It sets up this crazy shit that's like about to go down. So while Jackson is dealing with New Orleans, the Creek Civil War is happening. Now, I know this is like a lot, but I know you're doing well out there. I'm sorry. I don't know why I'm sorry. I'm not sorry. I'm taking my sorry back. Anyways, now the Creek Civil War, to put it simply, was between the Creek tribe and the Red Six tribe, both Native Americans.

and the Red Sticks were mad, the Creeks were adopting European farming practices, I mean, among other things, the war was a little too close to home for the white people.

Literally, it was like right outside their door and it was just making them uncomfortable. They're like, hey guys, can you stop fighting? I'm trying to make some porridge, like churn some butter. Just a little distracting. Well, they weren't stopping though. And because they weren't stopping, some of the people in town tried to handle the situation on their own.

by attacking members of the Red Sticks and getting rid of them themselves. So then that led to the Red Sticks retaliating against the white people and they basically leveled the whole town. Like, don't fuck with us, bitch. Cut back to Andrew Jackson, the barbecue sauce man. He receives a letter about this Creek tribe, Red Sticks, massacring a town of white people. Naturally, Andrew is like, oh.

Oh no, these poor white people are such victims. It's my time to shine, but this time for reals. So Andrew and his men, they head out to the native town of Tlusahatchee and they attack the town. I know this sounds suspiciously like more war talk,

But check it out. Andrew went on this absolute killing spree. He embraced the violence and completely destroyed this town. It was said that there were as many as 10 dead bodies in almost every cabin. They set fire to the town and afterwards, some of the bodies found in the cabins were half eaten. Literally eaten, like half.

Not joking. Rumor has it, like maybe Andrew sampled a little thigh, if you know what I mean. And Andrew and his militia were the only ones who survived. So we don't know who actually sampled those bodies. Honestly, it could have been an animal for all we know. But I like to believe, you know, it was him.

It was the bath salts, I'm telling you. But in the end, it was a really messed up scene. Davy Crockett was actually in the battle with Andrew. Side note, Davy Crockett was a real person. Did you know this? I didn't. I thought it was a TV show. Hi. Great. They put how they won the battle quite bluntly, saying, quote, we shot them like dogs. Why are they shooting dogs?

Why are we bringing dogs into this? I don't know. They're just all sorts of fucked up over there. You get it. A few months later, there was another battle Andrew was in. I know, I know, I know. It's exhausting. You can't tell me this man was sober. How's he doing all this? Meth. Come on. Come on. In my personal opinion. Okay.

Anyway, exhausting, we get it. So the red sticks, they were trying to actually surrender and swim to safety, but Andrew's men, they were killing them anyways. It was to the point where it said that the river flowed red with their blood.

This is gross, just more sad than gross, but it's a little bit of both. Andrew, he wanted an accurate count of how many red sticks they had murdered. Instead of a normal tally, you know, where one like draws a line like a normal human being does, he ordered his men to cut off the tip of each dead man's nose as a trophy. Oh, and another trophy he got was a baby. Yeah, you're probably wondering how the hell did he end up with a baby?

I know, I was thinking that too. I was like, what is going on with this man? What the hell? He's got noses. He's got a baby. Well, allegedly, according to Andrew, he found the baby on the ground. Yeah. He was like, I went to town and I found a baby on the ground. I'm like, got a baby. He said that the living members of the tribe said that they were going to kill the baby because his parents were dead. So he, quote, saved it, end quote.

Come on, this is so, he took the baby home to Rachel and named him Lincoia. But there's only his account of this story. So who actually knows the other side of it? I'm gonna highly doubt that he didn't just find this baby.

but what do I know? Anyways, but what we do know for sure is that he came home from war with childs. Okay, so he's getting all these noses and babies as a trophy, but there were some members of Andrew's troop who actually had a cautious. They were actually horrified by what they were doing and they wanted out.

Thank God some people in there had a brain. There's a story of six men in Andrew's militia who wanted to go home. They just wanted to be done with the battle and they didn't want to participate anymore. So they left and they started heading home, right?

Well, this pissed Andrew off and he ordered for them to be arrested, which they were. And they brought the men back to Andrew and he decided to make a show out of it. And then he took these men, had them kneel in front of a coffin and had them shot in front of his troop to prove a point that again, I am not to be fucked with. He's so dramatic. Oh my God. So in the end,

They won the Creek War, which they weren't even invited to in the first place. And Americans were stoked about this victory. Plus there was the Battle of New Orleans, which happened in 1815, which is different than the false alarm they got back in 1812. This is where the president was kind of forced to ask Andrew to go fight the British because one, all the real American military was fighting the British in other places. And two, Andrew was nearby.

So the president didn't really want to ask him because he knew Andrew was a disgusting warmonger. But like I said, there really weren't any other options. Well, Andrew ended up broiling some British ass and saved New Orleans, which really got Andrew the national attention that would make him a celebrity.

And because of this, Andrew became a national war hero. With the British and most of the Creeks and Red Sticks out of the way, Andrew was like, let's just take their land. He ended up using his status as a war hero to do just that. He took all of the land, which was more than half of Alabama and a fat chunk of Georgia. He then gifted it to the United States government. He's like, here, I got this.

as if it were his to give in the first place, you know? And you're probably wondering, what did they do with all their land? Well, lots of things. One of them was building Fort Jackson, a military base that's still there today. A lot of shady stuff goes on over there. We should talk about it all on my Monday uploads. Shall we? We shall. And now we're going to take a moment for an ad break. ♪

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Visit BetterHelp.com slash Dark History today to get 10% off your first month. That's BetterHelp, H-E-L-P dot com slash Dark History. Andrew then joined the big boy army and was offered a major general position. And at this point, he still hasn't heard the word no, not at all in his life. Because mind you, he's a rich white man who could do no wrong, even when he's literally doing things that are indeed wrong.

America is cute like that. Andrew would go on to fight in other battles, which led him to becoming an even bigger war hero. But Andrew had unfinished business with the Red Sticks who escaped the Creek Civil War.

Because Andrew, he didn't forget that some of them had fled the war to Florida and gotten away from his wrath. And he was out for blood and noses and babies. I mean, if he finds some. Here is where the messy queen gets up to some messy shenanigans again. So like I said, here's...

He wanted to go down to Florida to track down the escaped Red Sticks. And at this time, Florida was also a big-ass plot of land owned by Spain. I know, isn't history so complicated? It really is. That's why we're here. We're talking about it. We're going to talk it out.

Now, Spain was doing this cool thing where they granted freedom to escape slaves, which obviously pissed white Americans right the fuck off, especially President Monroe, who was a slave owner himself. So he sent Andrew a letter that was like, "There's some escaped slaves and other Native Americans in Florida who are kind of sketchy, but don't do anything about the Spanish land down there 'cause like we can't really afford another war." But give me a break.

It's Andrew "I love murder" Jackson. Of course he's gonna do something about it. What do you expect? He's just gonna sit there and do nothing? It's sort of like when you wanna adopt another dog, right? So you start dropping all these hints to your fiance. Like you mentioned these cute rescue shelters that are overflowing and you send him cute puppy videos and articles about the unbreakable bond that humans create with dogs so that he thinks he came up with the idea all on his own.

That's kind of what the president was doing to Andrew. Like, please go take care of this, but from an official standpoint, don't take care of this. But instead of adopting a puppy, Andrew's army is slaughtering people. I guess I just really want a puppy, to be honest. I'm just, it's heavy on my brain, sorry. So Jackson was like,

Hey, road trip. You know, let's like, let's go to Florida. But historians say that Andrew actually didn't end up killing that many natives during this time, which if you remember was his official reason for going to Florida. Nay nay. He also wanted to take this sweet Spanish land. So basically he wanted to literally murder everybody who wasn't white and to steal Florida. I'm telling you, this dude's wild.

The President of the United States was like, "Oh dear God, that's not what I meant when I sent you that letter. You're going to start another war, you dumb asshole." And Andrew was like, "Well, what if I at least took the whole state from the United States? Would you still be mad at me then?" And since he assumes the answer is yes, go ahead, take it Andrew, it's yours, babe.

I mean, the answer is always yes for him. Andrew did it anyway. He and his men, they murdered a lot of people leading to the minister of Spain calling for an evacuation of the Spanish people. Drama, drama, drama, I'm telling you, drama. Spain was pissed and they asked the United States government to punish Jackson for acting out of line. And the United States responded to Spain like, "Oh my God, just get over it. You're being so damn dramatic." You know, like Florida is a mess.

Florida is a mess. We're doing you a huge favor, man. Like, calm your tits. In the end, the United States settled it by purchasing Florida for $5 million from Spain. Money really does solve all your issues. If you're keeping count, Andrew has now gained the entire state of Florida in addition to millions of acres from the Native Americans for the United States alone.

all before he was 50 years old. I think it's safe to say that Andrew Jackson is the original Florida man, but he was getting major brownie points for stealing so much land from the United States. Congress,

was low key impressed, okay? But they didn't wanna admit that because it would make them look bad and like make Andrew look way better for doing really bad things. So thousands of people have died. Florida was stolen even though that wasn't the original plan. It was just a freaking mess. You know, someone had to pay for this. Someone needed to be held accountable for the situation. I'm looking at you, Andrew, Andy, Andrew, Andrew.

Looking at you. But of course he got a little swap on the wist and everyone just moved on, I guess. Honestly, I think he has some beer flavored nipples or something because people just love him. They still do, shit. Sucking on those titties like. Now Andrew is at the ripe old age of 51 and girl, he's tired.

okay he's been going hard since 1767 or whatever and he's ready to retire he got shot remember i know there's so much remember in this story but he got shot okay so it caused like a lot of internal bleeding excess mucus he had constant pain all the time he was coughing up blood that plus the humidity he was experiencing in florida not only left his hair frizzy but it just left him super exhausted

He didn't have much left in him to keep fighting. So that's how you know he was just not right. Something was seriously going on. So he packed up and he went back home to his wife and stolen baby in Tennessee for a little R&R.

raking in racism. This is my personal interpretation of the situation, but I don't think Andrew really wanted to retire. He had no other choice because of his wound, his age, he's exhausted, he's tired. He literally cannot fight anymore and he's feeling frustrated.

So he goes back home and he's staying up to date, reading newspapers and talking with friends as to like what's going on in the United States, which by the way, is still like a brand new country. So it's all developing and everyone's getting like the news and whatnot, you know? And it was frustrating to Andrew because he'd constantly be reading about the quote unquote corruption going on in the United States.

But there's not a damn thing he can do about it because, again, he's retired, right? One day his friends come over and propose the idea to run for president of the United States. They're like, hey, you should run for president. And Andrew's like, oh, my God, that's a great idea. Why didn't I think of that?

I don't have to fight. I get to live in this nice ass house. I get to make the rules. I get to be a leader and no one is going to say no to me.

Sign me up, bitch. Sign me up. And now we're going to pause for a word from our sponsor. This episode is brought to you by Progressive Insurance. Most of you listening right now are probably multitasking. Yep, while you're listening to me talk, you're probably also driving, cleaning, exercising, or maybe even grocery shopping. But if you're not in some kind of moving vehicle, there's something else you could be doing right now. Getting an auto quote from Progressive Insurance.

It's easy and you can save money by doing it from your phone. Drivers who save by switching to Progressive save nearly $750 on average. And auto customers qualify for an average of seven discounts. Discounts for having multiple vehicles on your policy, being a homeowner and more.

So just like your favorite podcast, Progressive will be with you 24-7, 365 days a year, so you're protected no matter what. Multitask right now. Quote your car insurance at Progressive.com to join the over 28 million drivers who trust Progressive.

Progressive Casualty Insurance Company and affiliates. National average 12-month savings of $744 by new customer survey who saved with Progressive between June 2022 and May 2023. Potential savings will vary. Discounts not available in all states and situations. This is an ad by BetterHelp. What are your self-care non-negotiables? The things you know make you feel better even when it's impossible to make time for them.

Like that workout you try to squeeze in between kids' activities, work, and everything else you have going on, and before you know it, it gets pushed to tomorrow. Sound familiar? But it's the moments when you feel like you have no time for yourself when those non-negotiables are more important than ever. Those are the things that keep you strong, healthy, motivated, and prepared to take on everything life demands of you. So why not make therapy one of them?

So how's everyone feeling out there? I know it's a lot.

And unfortunately, it's just a small little fraction as to what shenanigans Andrew Jackson was up to throughout his life. So he gets this brilliant idea to run for president. Haven't we had enough, Andrew? Apparently not.

You know what this actually reminds me of? Okay, so remember back on American Idol, like back in the day, how sometimes people would be just super bad, but Paula Abdul would be the super sweet one, like, girl, you're doing amazing, baby girl, like go after your dreams, you know? And then Simon was like,

That was terrible. Well, I think Andrew surrounded himself with Paulas. Because right now everyone is telling him he's a great singer, but someone just really needs to put a stop to this. Anyway, at this point, people were feeling tired or even bored of politics. It was all the same. Buttoned up men in suits, spewing words nobody understood. The people wanted someone who really represented them.

and would make some changes around here. Andrew Jackson knew he would be perfect for the job because, well, why wouldn't he be? He's Andrew fucking Jackson, okay? He's ready to party. So he officially started campaigning in 1822. And like we mentioned before, I roll, he was wildly popular.

He was running against this guy named John Quincy Adams, who was actually a super Jackson fan at first and was in the same political party, which was considered the Democratic Republican Party.

So now we have the Democrats and Republicans, but back then it was just one party. They do eventually split, but we'll get to that later. So the election happens. Andrew won the popular vote, but nobody won the electoral college. It was actually a five-way tie. Yeah, I don't know how that happens, but it did. Because of the tie, it was then handed over to Congress to decide who would become the president.

Now the Congress, they were not a fan of Andrew Jackson because they didn't like him. No. So with that being said, the Congress easily chose John Quincy Adams to be the United States president. Now I think it's safe to say this is the first time Andrew Jackson had ever heard the word no. Sorry loser.

So what does a man who has a fragile little ego do when they hear the word no? Well, they turn to a little baby child and throw a fit. Andrew was raging. He was pissed. He never lost, okay? Like, what the fuck do you mean? What do you mean I lost? You lost, Andrew? You lost. And he just can't seem to accept this answer.

And normally when someone was in Andrew's way, he would just murder them. But since he can't just literally murder the president, he can use his words to take him down. And he got his eyes on John Quincy Adams, who let me remind you, they were friends. They were literally like B-F-F-F-F.

I mean, they weren't, but I like to pretend that they were doing each other's hair. So Andrew went to face the facts. He went around to friends, neighbors, the media, and told everyone that the election was rigged. He called it a corrupt bargain. And then he announced he was going to be running for president again, right then and there.

This election was three and a half years away. So he had plenty of time to campaign, I guess. And those next three years were a complete blur because Andrew spent practically every moment talking shit about John Quincy Adams, trying to prove he was a corrupt liar. This caused so much drama that the Democratic Republican Party officially broke up into two separate parties.

This is where we are then introduced to the Democratic and the Republican parties. Those who called themselves Republicans were team John Quincy Adams and the others who were team Andrew were Democrats. Super iconic moment in American history because this is where the two parties were born. You see when two people

hate each other very much, they combine their little bad tempers with other bad tempers, and eventually two little baby monsters come out and they call them Republicans and Democrats. And we still see today grown men acting like children in both parties. I should be fair and say men and women, but mainly men, you know? If we're lucky, we might get to see the beauty of life happen again with another new party. Wouldn't that be awful?

So things got messy and the media is dragging everyone to filth. Okay, they're bringing up Andrew Jackson's past. They're bringing up John Quincy's past, calling everyone just nasty names, pointing fingers, and it just goes back and forth for years. Does this not sound super familiar? Ain't it weird?

Isn't that weird? Now, John was president, so he didn't have time for this shit, okay? He was doing president stuff. He wasn't feeding into Andrew's games. But Andrew was like, I'm not president. I'm going to keep playing dirty. So he did. Great.

He would go on to become a bit of a professional shit talker. The press would ask him, you know, like, what's your plan when you're president, sir? And he would say, like, well, anything John Quincy Adams isn't doing, like, fuck that guy. He even went on to call John Quincy Adams names like Dandy with a Purse. Ooh, those are fighting words. Dandy with a Purse. Got him.

Andrew's supporters were getting all riled up. They love the shit talking, they love to feed into it as well. They even started their own rumor that John Quincy Adams was a pimp in Russia. But literally though, they were trying to push this rumor that he worked as a pimp in Russia. By the way, completely untrue, but everyone I guess thought it was hilarious or something and it just kind of stuck.

So people are believing it. At this point, it's fair game. Supporters of John Quincy started calling Andrew's wife, Rachel, a whore because somebody found out the truth about their marriage. Drama, drama, drama, exhausting, petty. And they say freaking women are traumatic, huh?

Poor Rachel, she hasn't said a damn word and they just keep going after her. She's like, I'm churning butter. What more do you want? Anyways, this election is remembered as one of the dirtiest elections ever held due to all the shit talking both parties, all parties, shit, everyone took part in. Congratulations, America. You did it.

Good job. To his credit, John Quincy did not want to participate in this behavior. It was very unbecoming of the president to be involved in the dramatics of it all. Plus he hated this. He really liked Andrew Jackson. He thought they were friends. Remember when they did shit together in Florida?

bestie behavior. He was so upset by what was happening that he even refused to write in his diary from 1828 until after the election. And you know what's bad if you're no longer updating your diary with all the latest deets. Now years pass, the bickering continues, and then election day arrives. By this point, everybody has lost focus on what the election was even about. A

America, who's that? You know, it's now pimp versus murderer. Who are you voting for? Well, it turns out murderer because Andrew Jackson would become president of the United States. Applause.

White wealthy murderers always seem to prosper in this country. It's very strange. His victory would be short-lived though. Just a few months before he took office, Andrew's love, his partner, his writer die. Rachel, she would pass away. So of course, Andrew, he took this opportunity to make sure everyone knew that she died because of the political smears placed against her and not because of like a heart attack.

You did it. You killed her. And even at her funeral, it's said that Andrew Jackson said, quote, Pop quiz time. Were you paying attention? Here's the first and only question. Was Andrew Jackson, A, a drunken rake, B, a

a bloodthirsty military tyrant, C, morally unfit to be the president, or D, a sensitive baby bitch who couldn't hear the word no? Oh, it's a trick question. The answer's E, all of the above. All the bad shit they said about Andrew Jackson was indeed true, but he got ahead by going after his enemies and getting rid of anybody and everybody who was in his way. He literally murdered a lot of people, took their noses, took their babies, and then became president.

Welcome to America. The bar is very low here. Now, you're probably wondering, Bailey, Bailey, pump the goddamn brakes. Calm down.

Why the fuck did you not mention a damn thing about the Trail of Tears? I know, shut up. You're jumping ahead, okay? I felt like if we had a better understanding of Andrew's upbringing, his life before he became president, maybe it would help paint a picture a little better for us as to just how insane Andrew was for all of his life.

Not just during his presidency, if that makes sense. So do not worry, kitty cats. You best believe Trail of Tears is getting its own episode where Andrew Jackson will once again prove that he was the actual devil.

And that's a fact. There are so many layers to this human, it's just truly exhausting. And throughout history, and even to this day, many see Andrew as this all-American Jesus who like changed America in so many ways, but seeming to ignore how many lives he destroyed in the process. Andrew Jackson was angry for most of his life and mama, it showed, okay? He had some ugly bitch energy.

So, next time you go to 7-Eleven, whip out your wallet and pay for your Doritos with a $20 bill, you will know the story of a psycho who ended up on our money. Even though he hated paper currency. And he didn't even trust banks. Oh, true story. We'll have to save that for next time. The takeaway here? I think it's quite simple. Never let someone live their life without hearing the word money.

No. Anyways, thank you guys so much for learning with me today. I wanna hear your thoughts, you know? Let's continue this conversation over on social media using the #darkhistory or #bathsaltjackson. You can also join me over on my YouTube where you can watch these episodes on Thursday after the podcast airs and also catch Murder Mystery Makeup which drops every Monday over on my YouTube. I would suggest you come check out the video 'cause my hair looks very cute today.

Isn't it cute? I know if you're listening, you can't see it, but you need to come see it. So come see it. Okay, thanks. Anywho, I hope you have a great rest of your day. You make good choices and I'll be seeing you guys next week. Bye.

Dark History is an Audioboom original. This podcast is executive produced by Chelsea Durgin from Slash Management and Fanny Baudry from Wheelhouse DNA, producer Lexi Kiven, Daryl Christon, and Spencer Strathsmore. Research provided by Jed Bookout and Elizabeth Hyman. Writers Jed Bookout, Michael Oberst, Joey Scavuzzo, and I'm your host, Princess of the Dark, Bailey Sarian.

A big thank you to today's historical consultant, Dr. Michael Landis. You can find him on Twitter and Instagram at Dr. Michael Landis.